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1kook · 3 years

Text

ZOOM CALL

⇢ meeting two

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

⇢ series masterlist

summary: Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group. genre: fluff, slice of life, smut (tags tba) warnings: ITS A SLOW BURN OKAY...., sweetheart jk, campus crush jk, college crushes, social distancing, zoom -_-, jk owns a keroppi plush, oc thirsts over his hot bod, jk’s sweet attempts at flirting </3 he’s just 2 cute for his own good ratings: e for everyone <3 wc: 3.7k

notes: this took long bc i wrote one version but it was SO LAME u guys r lucky my friend and editor ( @kigurumu 🖤 ) stopped me from posting it. so then i had to reorganize my thoughts n b like girl. the ppl are waiting. get it together. anyway here’s zoom jk 😎

Being grouped with Jeon Jungkook (he/him) for your first class on the first day of your first Zoom semester truly sets the standard.

By no means do your other classes suck; they’re quite enjoyable, more relevant to your area of study. They’re familiar which makes them comfortable, your Zoom meetings filled with faces you’ve seen time and time again the last four years. The material interests you, so you definitely don’t have anything against them or your classmates.

That being said, no one is prepared for the awkwardness that comes with each and every Zoom meeting. You never thought you’d be embarrassed to turn your mic on— to speak in a class filled with your peers. And the meetings are all like that, filled with uncomfortable silences and endless black screens.

You wish there was a Jeon Jungkook (he/him) in every class.

Jungkook’s just got this bubbly aura to him, this magnetic presence that staples itself into the back of your mind with each passing day. No one fills a Zoom call like he does, making every person laugh and smile like him.

Wednesday rolls around and you find yourself a little disheartened when you don’t get sorted into the same randomized group as him again. Disappointment melts into annoyance when you find out how incompetent your other classmates are, refusing to speak in the small group or just completely clocking out all together. A lot of them didn’t do the reading— the one you stayed up all night doing —and your first partnered assignment of the semester finds you doing it all by yourself. Muted mics, black windows, complete radio silence; you hated it all.

You find yourself weirdly longing for Jeon Jungkook’s presence, even if he’s only there to talk about some movie he saw last night. No one is as much of a chatterbox as him, can’t even hold a candle to the way he draws everyone in with his mindless conversations. At least he speaks during Breakout Rooms, you think bitterly.

Anyway, the first week of classes ends and your brain is a frenzied mess. There’s schedules to memorize, professors to impress, assignments to plan out. There’s definitely no time to sit around and fantasize about the curly haired cutie in one of your general classes. The weekend is spent trying to organize your planner, filling in due dates and exam days ahead of time. It’s your last semester and you’re dead set on making it your best one yet. There’s a lot of written work this time around, analyses and research papers that need to be organized. The road ahead is manageable, but you’ll have to work hard to keep it that way for the next five months.

Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group.

Jungkook is early this time, not like on Monday where he’d been one of the last to filter in, and he’s looking as chirpy as ever. Donning this horrendously hot pink shirt, completely unlike the neutral tones he’d worn during your last two meetings and that decorate his room, and the cutest pair of circle glasses sitting on his nose. He says his regularly scheduled ‘good morning’ to you all and receives a collective response from the rest of the class that not even your professor got.

Speaking of the professor, you’ve been giving him the stink eye this whole time. Not that he can tell, given the fact he’s probably miles away in his own home while you angrily glare at him through your webcam. It’s this old guy who’s decided to sort you all into semester long groups for the class, which is the absolute worst. These types of groups always go the same way: you make a group chat promising to study together, those plans fall through, and then everyone just leeches off of each other for homework answers. And in most cases, it’s you handing over your homework answers because no one else ever bothers to do anything. Sadly, it’s a routine you’ve had to suffer through many times in your academic career.

The thought makes you sick. Having to spend another semester being labeled as the bossy, nerdy dictator of the group? Not exactly how you wanted to spend the last few months of college, but there’s nothing you can do. Maybe this time around you’ll just let it be, won’t fight it (and by it, you mean your lazy classmates when they inevitably try to guilt trip you for homework) and simply let it run its course.

“I’m going to put you guys into Breakout Rooms with your new groups!” your professor claps excitedly, and then you and the rest of your classmates are forced to watch him lean too close to the camera as he begins clicking around to find the preset groups he’s assigned the class. “Remember, guys, this is it for the rest of the semester. So if something isn’t right, let me know by the end of today.”

Man, this was going to suck, you groan. The syllabus had said that the purpose of these groups was to keep you all connected with your classmates during these trying times, to give you the same opportunities in-person learning would. Frankly, you’re not too worried about making friends with everyone in this large class. Most of them are younger than you anyway, save for Jeon Jungkook (he/him) and a handful of others who are apparently in your year. Befriending lowerclassmen only to have to bid them adieu in a few months seems awfully sad, a little too heartbreaking. You really just want to get a good grade in this class, collect the last of your credits, and put this whole college experience behind you.

Your thoughts are wrapped up by the pop-up message that appears on screen.

The host is inviting you to join a Breakout Room: Group 12

You sigh, contemplate dropping this class for all of two seconds, before dutifully accepting the request. Worse comes to worst, you make up some lie to tell your professor that you’re allergic to group work and hope it works. (It won’t.)

You sit through the mandatory loading screen for a few seconds before being abruptly dumped into your new room, Group 12, or so the message had said. There’s no one else here yet, which isn’t really a surprise. A lot of your classmates are probably like you, scowling at the pop up message every time your professor sends you into small groups before accepting the request. So you chill by yourself, eyes tracing over your own mirrored image. The notes on last night’s reading are neatly laid out before you, your copy of the book off to the side.

Another beat and then, much to your surprise, Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is appearing in your room. “Oh,” he says, round eyes magnified by the thick lens of his glasses, the glare of the computer’s glow casting a funny shape across the lens that momentarily robs you of his pretty eyes. His pretty pink lips stretch into a smile, upper lip thinning out a bit when he flashes you those perfect teeth. “Hi, __,” he greets politely, bubbly.

It’s embarrassing how much his presence affects you, your back going ramrod straight in a terrible attempt to compose yourself. “Hi, Jungkook,” you manage to get out, fingers nervously reaching for something, anything, to ground yourself. They land on a pencil.

Jungkook doesn’t seem even the slightest bit aware of the commotion he causes within you. “I was really nervous for these groups,” he begins rambling right away, lips pushing down into an exaggerated frown as he shivers at the memory. “But I’m glad I got placed with someone hardworking like you!”

Despite how sweet he sounds, you’re not entirely sure if he’s buttering you up just to take advantage of your ‘hardworking’ attitude later down the road or if he’s genuinely being polite. The little information you know about Jungkook wants you to believe it is the latter; he’s very kind, sweet and nice in a way that makes everyone he speaks to feel warm. Still, for all you know this could be some elaborate ruse of his to make you trust him now and then convince you to do all the work for the rest of the semester.

Tentatively, you ask, “and how would you know that?” You try your best to keep your usual snappiness out of your voice, pose it simply out of curiosity. But everything you say or do feels like a stark contrast to Jungkook and his bubbliness.

His head tilts cutely to the side, imploring brown eyes looking at you for one hard second. And then, “I read your forum analysis from Wednesday,” he admits, breaking into a smile. Shy and tiny, bashfully looking down at his desk. “I thought your perspective on the piece was really interesting,” he says, lips pursing together as if he’s suddenly too embarrassed to admit such things to you.

Stunned, all you can manage is one slow nod. “Thank you,” you eventually choke out, trying to ward the heat away from your cheeks as Jungkook sheepishly nods back, cute smile still on his face.

“Oh, please,” he chuckles, raising his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Don’t thank me!”

It is in this exact moment that you are suddenly made aware of two things.

One: despite his collection of soft sweaters and t-shirts, his bouncy curls and sweet smile, Jeon Jungkook’s body is neither as cute nor as soft as any of his belongings. In fact, Jeon Jungkook’s body is all hard planes and prominent veins. Arms beefy, biceps that bulge beneath the fabric of the short sleeve t-shirt he’s donned today. His shoulders fill out the material nicely, making him look broad and huge, but that’s not even the worst part, because—

—two: Jeon Jungkook is covered in ink. Dark streaks and swirls paint his forearms, curling around his elbow. Every inch of his pale skin is littered with tiny designs. They dance along the back of his hands, over his knuckles, and end at an unidentifiable point beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. When he tugs at the neckline of his shirt in an effort to readjust it, you hope your eyes are deceiving you and that isn’t a hint of ink by his collarbone.

Your normal composure seems to slip away at the mere thought.

It’s Jungkook’s voice that brings you back, a soft timbre that asks, “aren’t we supposed to have someone else in our group?” You flinch as if you’ve been caught ogling him, never mind the fact he’s started mindlessly shuffling some papers around on his desk, not the slightest bit concerned with you.

“Oh— um, yes. I think,” you stammer, feeling like some creep for ogling your very cute, very sweet classmate. The memory of his inky skin nearly sends a shiver down your spine as you navigate back to the class syllabus. “We’re supposed to have at least three people,” you read off, glancing at the boy on your screen who frowns at the news.

“Do you think they dropped?” Given it was still only the first week of school, probably. There had been a fewer number of people in the call when it started, you remembered. Jungkook sighs, this rather light sound that ends in a hum. “Well, we can always wait a few minutes just in case.”

So you wait, nervously bouncing your leg up and down. It’s not awkward, or at least, not as awkward as it would be with anyone else. The other week you had silently sat with another classmate in a one-on-one discussion and hadn’t uttered a word for five minutes. It wasn’t because you didn’t care about the class, but because said classmate had been tapping away on their phone the entire time and hadn’t even responded to your simple greeting. That was awkward.

With Jungkook it’s more weird than awkward. You can tell the silence makes him uncomfortable because he keeps doing these tiny inhales like he’s about to speak, followed by a little head shake where he seemingly stops himself from saying anything at all. He wants to talk, very badly it seems, but holds back for some odd reason.

He’s scribbling on some sheet of paper, leaning forward to give you a view of the top of his head. From this angle, his shirt hangs forward and a silver necklace falls out from beneath the neckline, thuds against the table. And then your suspicions are nearly confirmed, and oh god, is that a chest piece—

You quickly look away.

Robbed of his handsome face and feeling like you’ll die if you look at his body any longer, you settle for your newly acquired favorite pastime: inspecting your classmates’ rooms over Zoom. Yes, you’ll admit it is incredibly nosy, but what else can you do? You can only look at your professor for so long until you inevitably grow bored, attention drifting off to your classmates tiny windows. And with no professor in sight, just gorgeous Jeon Jungkook, you quickly begin your examination of his bedroom.

Jungkook’s room is pretty much the same as you remember it, rather neat and plain. There’s not a lot going on in terms of decoration, which is a little surprising to say the least. Over the course of the week, you’ve watched your classmates’ dormitories and bedrooms gradually change, decorations and tapestries decorating the walls, mountains of pillows added to their beds. It’s only natural that everyone has an innate need to show off who they are now more than ever, and you thought Jungkook would be the same.

Apparently not.

Aside from the guitar you had spotted on Monday, his little dorm room remains unchanged. Blank walls, grayscale sheets. The same perfectly fluffed pillows and then—

A tiny Keroppi plush smack dab in the middle of his bed.

It’s adorable but a little out of place amongst Jungkook’s rather masculine decorations (or lack thereof). A tiny green doll sitting by his pillows, cute striped shirt and ridiculously dopey smile.

Leaning forward, you unmute yourself and conversationally say, “I love your Keroppi.”

At the sudden sound of your voice, Jungkook abruptly straightens up, glasses practically at the very tip of his nose. Eyes wide, it takes him a second to process your words before jerkily whipping around to stare at the aforementioned item. “Oh,” he jumps, slowly looking at his screen again, lips pulled into a tight line. “Um… it’s not mi—“

“It’s adorable,” you add, propping your chin in your palm, absolutely endeared with the rosy color that paints his cheeks, fades down the column of his neck.

He squirms, hurriedly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He looks like he’ll deny it again, nervously nibbling at his lower lip, before eventually he settles with a sigh. “I won it from a crane machine,” he confesses with a sheepish huff of laughter, rolling backwards to the edge of his bed to snatch it from its spot.

(Of course he manspreads as he sits, dark jeans hugging his thighs as he rolls back your way. His arm looks so strong, covered in all that ink, you nearly drool.)

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” he says, abandoning his embarrassment as he shakes the little figure around, makes it look like it’s dancing for you. “My mom said it looks like me.”

At that, you laugh. Loud and boisterous because you were definitely not expecting Jungkook to say that, such an odd but weirdly fitting comparison that has you looking at the doll in his hands with renewed interest. And through the pixelated screen, you can see the similarities: Jungkook does have the same smile as Keroppi.

“Your mom was right,” you agree, wiping a faux tear from the corner of your eye. “Very cute.”

Jungkook’s got this big goofy smile on, shaking his head in disbelief that you would ever dare agree with his mom. Like he’s genuinely enjoying himself, you think, oddly proud to have evoked that reaction from him. Granted, Jungkook always looks like he’s pretty happy during class, but it feels nice knowing that you were (confirmed) the reason why.

A little caught up with the bumbling feeling in your chest, you’re not expecting his next words. “Does that mean I’m cute?” he asks, still with that same dopey smile on his face.

It’s a bold statement you wouldn’t have expected from him, someone who seems content being the world’s friend, but apparently Jeon Jungkook also craves compliments.

Slowly, you nod. “...yes,” you say, trying to keep the tumultuous emotions inside of you at bay while you grant him this one compliment. Outwardly, you give him what you hope is an obviously feigned look of disbelief, managing to lace it with a little amusement as you shake your head at his inquiry. On the inside, your mind and heart are a thundering racetrack, the roar of the engines and the screams of the crowd enough to momentarily make you lose your senses. “Very cute,” you repeat, hoping he can’t hear the same pounding of your heartbeat in your throat and in your ears as you do. “Like a little frog.”

Jungkook graces your robotic response with the most boyish laugh, head tossed back as one loud cackle (because, really, there is no other way to describe the sound that tears itself from his throat) escapes him, curls bouncing back from the movement. “Cute like a frog,” he wheezes, seemingly to himself as he shakes his head with a grin, scooting closer to the camera again. “That’s a new one.”

“You set yourself up for it,” you defend, busying yourself with the papers spread out in front of you before Jungkook can distract you any further. “Anyway!” you announce, neatly lining the papers up. “Our group.”

Jungkook does his best to wipe the glee off his face, but even as he reaches around for his things, it’s still there. “Right,” he agrees, “we have to, um—“ a huff of laughter “—group contract! Or, well, partner project.”

Briefly, you consider calling in your professor to inform him of your missing partner. He had said to let him know by the end of today if something was wrong. But, honestly, you didn’t see a problem with your group the way it was now. While you can only hope he’ll turn out to be as dedicated to his work as you, as it stands now, there weren’t any major red flags surrounding Jungkook’s character.

Besides, you didn’t mind being with him for the rest of the semester.

You nod, forcing yourself to ignore the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at you through the screen. “I think it’s safe to say it’ll just be the two of us, which I don’t mind,” you say, glancing at the time on the corner of your screen to see five minutes have passed since you agreed to wait. “Do you?”

On screen, Jungkook profusely shakes his head, curls bouncing all over the place. “Nope,” he hums. “I don’t mind at all,” he reassures you, resting his chin in his palm as he regards you, and then sweetly adds, “it’ll be nice with just us, __.”

Right.

You gulp, heart fluttering at the dreaminess he exudes through your screen, the soft strand of hair that falls over his forehead, tickles his brow bone when he flashes you another smile. He was so handsome. Before you say anything silly, you quickly attempt to move on. “But it does make us more of a duo than a group.”

Jungkook looks away from his screen for the first time in what feels like forever and you finally let your heart rest for a second. “A duo,” he murmurs, shuffling through his papers. “Like Mickey and Minnie?”

You nearly choke on your spit, coughing to hide the surprise from his rather cute suggestion. He’s not even looking at you, doesn’t even realize the absolute shock he’s thrown you in by comparing the two of you to one of the most famous couples— that’s what they are, a goddamn couple, not a duo! the words mean two completely different things! —in the world. Instead, Jungkook is humming the theme song to Drake & Josh.

This man was dangerous for your heart.

After having felt all the emotions in the world in the span of ten seconds, you eventually gather the courage to say, “sure,” and quickly try to move the conversation along. “We just need to, um, make some ground rules and responsibilities for us to follow.”

Jungkook nods, finally glancing up again, but not at you. He’s glaring at some point behind his computer, brows furrowed together as he begins brainstorming on his own. You try to, really, but his lips pout adorably when he’s deep in thought, and they’re just so pink and look so soft and would feel like—

“Well, we should probably exchange numbers first,” Jungkook says, interrupting your spiraling thoughts with a new topic to spiral over. He tilts his head to the side, brown eyes focused on you.

“Yes, of course,” you stammer, fumbling for your phone as Jungkook lets out a soft yay at your acceptance of his request. Quickly, he recites his number and you type it in with trembling hands into the number pad, giving him a quick call so he can have your number as well.

You save him right away, just his name followed by the class you share with him. Not like you know any other Jeon Jungkooks, and if you did, you doubt anyone could ever leave such an impact like this Jeon Jungkook.

“__, look,” Jungkook calls, that same excitement lacing his already lovely voice, and you raise your head up at the screen again. He’s waving his phone over his camera, so you don’t get to see his face when he says, “It’s a little mouse emoji and a pink bow— just like Minnie!”

Dangerous for your heart and, most likely, the death of you this semester.

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts smut #bts fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk♡#mine

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realityshiftingandblogging · 3 years

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Can I just say that I appreciate your post on r-spawning so much? You're the only person on tumblr who I've seen who isn't being a complete asshat about it. As someone living in an abusive environment and has been struggling with a lot of mental health issues, I despise what I can only call "forced-lifers" who try to ram their "you're meant to be here! pull up your bootstraps and stick it out" agenda down ppl's throats. Jfc. 🌹

I'm glad you appreciate it <3

I won't ask who you are and I hope your home life gets better, I know how it feels in away. Not exactly because I'm not you. But it's tough, really tough. And I'm proud of you for getting this far.

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Cw it gets long winded from here! Just skip to the bottom if you want.

I agree it does seem forced though I don't give it a name. I tend to just ignore it. For me, I don't ever want to come across as, or be, someone who is hateful towards respawners or other subcategories of shifting. I'm kind of in a middle lane, I don't want someone to die physically but is it really my right to decide? No. Nor can I stop it, so what's the point of excluding others? There is none. I fully acknowledge it can trigger other people, it can be confusing, or a touchy subject. That's totally valid! But having a forced attitude to "stay" isn't right in general.

For example, if a friend told you they wanted to end their life and you told them "no you must stay, you're not welcome to talk to me, don't speak to me, etc" then there's something wrong there. It's not necessarily the "staying part" that's the issue, in my opinion. I see it as the more of the forceful and low-key hate that's a result if you don't listen to them when you refuse to stay. It's really rude and disgusting in general. If they claim to want people to stay and live but then have a forceful and hateful attitude then W H A T . (And no I'm not pointing fingers, I just see it pop up every now and then.) If they truly want to "help" (as they say) then they shouldn't push someone away immediately just for saying it. It's not right.

I fully acknowledge, again, it can trigger some people by the mention of death. But in no way should someone completely exclude someone but then say they support anyone who wants help. (Unless you're triggered by the mention of death but even then please ignore the topic and take care of yourself. Triggers are hard to deal with but it's also hard on the other side too.) Respawners aren't mentally ill (And, FYI, mental illness shouldn't be treated as an insult.) And respawners don't always "need help." To be clear, there are different types of respawners. There's people who want to respawn to not come back (which can be done with shifting as well), there are people who respawn for spiritual reasons which has been a practice for years, and so on.

I think the only time I have a problem with Respawning is when it turns dangerous. For example, someone doesn't care if they shift or not in the process. Which is a different type of respawner entirely. And again, I don't support the action when it turns into that but I will fully support the person. Life can be really tough and when someone doesn't care if they shift or not in the process is when I really want to go to their house and violently care for them. Obviously, I can't because 1) Social distancing 2) I'm not allowed on social media so it would be hard to explain JDBSJDND 3) I'm not sure they would consent to me coming to their house 4) Caring or loving someone doesn't solve the issue 9 times out of 10.

BUT, back on the topic. What I'm trying to say is when someone is like that, don't push them away. Respawners are still people. People will emotions. Pushing someone away isn't really helping their "you should stay" point. Because it just makes them look rude or with a goodie goodie attitude that really isn't goodie goodie.

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Another thing, I'm sorry that you've gone through that and honestly the behavior is beyond rude. I'm not saying I should force people to accept eachother because obviously it's 2021 and it's the internet, no one is going to get along completely. But I would like the community to AcTuaLlY do some effort into accepting respawners OR AT LEAST accept that they are also a part of social media and excluding them isn't going to do anything. It's the internet.

Honestly, I won't ever understand what you've been through because I'm not you. But if you're really sure Respawning is for you then I won't object. Like I said, I'm in the middle lane right now because that's where I want to be - but I'll support you as a person and, again, I'm really proud of you for getting this far and actually choosing to go find another life. It's a difficult decision for people in abusive situations to choose a new life. It often comes with guilt, questioning, and worry (and I'm sorry in advance if that's not your case and I'm assuming.) But to put it short, I'm really proud of you for choosing to have a new life instead of just ending it without any plans. Yeah I know Respawning it technically death but I'm proud of you for at least choosing it instead of leaving entirely without it. You're worthy of a new life and I'm still very proud of you for making it this far.

#tw #tw respawning #reality shifting #shiftblr community #ideal reality community #desired reality community #shifting #reality #realities #shift reality #shift realities #shifting reality #if someone sends anon hate #try me bish #i know how to see whos anon #i will hunt you down and take away your mobile device #thats it ill just take it away #but try me you wont have it anymore

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ghostofvixx · 4 years

Text

So glad|KYS|

The soulmate thing doesn’t work easily, but for you it gets ten times hardes if both of you hide your birthmark.

Genre: fluff + bulleted au

words: 2.7k

warnings: swearing the title’s supposed to be so f*cking glad but we’ll talk about it some other time, uhm trying to decide if this is cool or absolute trash, cute at a certain point

Yeosang is usually a very confident person. We could say he has no complexes.

(yes, he doesn’t look like it, but he is)

Except for one: his birth mark

He just DOESN’T LIKE IT AT ALL, his friends -the ones that know about it- think it’s cute but he DOESN’T.

He has tried almost everything to remove it at this point

But nothing can remove it effectively on a daily basis

Not as effective as makeup at least.

And that’s how makeup has become indispensable for him since he was in high school: that’s how he hates his birthmark.

What he doesn’t know is that that’s the reason why he can’t find his soulmates.

he’s ready, he can feel it, he’s been ready for years now, but why the time doesn’t come?

.:Keep reading :.

“You just have to know new people, you barely meet new friends Yeosang! Once you do it BAAAM the time will come.” Yunho tells him, overreacting as always.

Yeosang laughs, but deep inside him, he knows he’s right, just he doesn’t know how or when to know new people.

Then he began going to parties with the rest of ateez more frequently and actually getting to know ppl

classmates

ppl from other years

ppl from his uni and from other unis

but nothing happened

then he met you.

At first, it was just as usual: just some random person he had to be paired up with for a project.

Nothing new: he’s made a lot of friends like that,

but with you it was different,

he just felt SO comfortable with you.

He blamed it on your personality and your will to do the project right, and how attractive you were too

and you blamed it on the same thing

So none of you dummies realized just how comfortable and heart eyes emoji you were with each other

nor how both of your -covered- birthmarks were actually shining behind all the concealer.

Now let’s talk a bit about you.

Your birthmark is LITERALLY on your left thumb.

Why on your left thumb? Well, that will remain a mystery

Until you meet your soulmate at least

You don’t have that much of a complex but still, you don’t like it

So, knowing it’s the only thing that can tie you with your soulmate, you decided to not cover it for a while

Then you got tired of it and decided to put concealer on it.

It’s not that you wanted it, but you were lowkey mad at the world itself

because your soulmate was NOWHERE TO BE FOUND

Usually when you have a mark is because your soulmate is getting closer right? Or because you might meet them anytime SOON right?

Well not for you.

For you it was like it had to shine or something like that -words literally said by your friend, who liked all the soulmate stuff and had done researches on every type of soulmate in the world-.

So oh well here you are

you had eventually given up

maybe you’ll end up like those that won’t find their soulmates

but it was supposed to happen, right? You should have crossed paths with then at least ONCE for that to happen

But you didn’t

That’s what keeps you going, secretly you have some hope

Then you met Yeosang and you suspected

Because you had that THING like you NEEDED to boop his nose

Even if he wasn’t your soulmate you NEEDED to have something with him

Welcome to what we call: having a crush

crush culture is hard, maybe because you thought he wasn’t the one for you, after all, he isn’t your soulmate, right? AND ALSO because he was ALWAYS with his various friends

It’s like he barely had time for you

pretty understandable, taking into consideration that you guys weren’t the closest, but still he has told you so many times that you feel special

WHERE’S THE SPECIAL NOW KANG YEOSANG?

You barely see him outside class, you barely talk on the phone outside class

BUT YOU’RE STILL SPECIAL? WHAT?

The only time you see him is when he’s partying with his friends,,, and you don’t want to approach him

so you go unnoticed for the night

sometimes he’s noticed, some other he hasn’t

besides, you don’t like it when you’re with him in that mood, because everything becomes awkward.

“Y/n, do you want something to drink?” He would always ask you

you say no bc c’mon there are already a LOT of drunk people around

sometimes his friends,,, which is,, awkward

because sometimes they would ship you and uh that’s a nono on the outsides but a yes yes in the inside, right?

“Are you having fun?”

“I am.”

AND THAT’S ALL PALS

Not a single “would you like to dance?”

nor a singing along to the song together

NOTHING

T H A T ‘S I T

His friends don’t say it, but they look at both of you as if they were saying “why are y’all as awkward lol aren’t you friends?”

and that type of thought haunt you sometimes at nigh

BUT THEN WE HAVE TO MENTION A SPECIAL PARTY

apparently that night his group of friends got mixed with another one

and he wasn’t feeling himself

he told you that morning that today he didn’t feel like partying, he was in a bad mood

“why?” You asked.

“Just… Some random soulmate thoughts.”

Every time he talked to you about his soulmate, your heart skipped a beat

“Have you found them” you voiced your biggest fear.

“I haven’t, that’s the problem.”

He then explained to you that he couldn’t find them and that made him sad,,, especially today,,,, for no special reason

“O-kay?” You said. “Well, just try to enjoy yourself for once! You’re still young, you’ll find them soon! We’ll see each other probably, by the way.”

His heart jumped in his chest,,, how can you be,,,, as perfect for him? He just feels like it.

Like you were made for him

but then not really.

Back to the point

you were RIGHT about to approach him,,, then you saw who he was talking

that person wasn’t from his group of friends,,, nor a person you knew

and they were talking so,,, close,,, so so close

you don’t mean to do it, but you’re sure you’re pouting because you can sense some chemistry from them???

Or is it just you?

It was one-sided, but those types of things are hard to see when your crush is being flirted at.

Then some boy named San sat between them and that caught Yeosang’s attention completely

actually everyone’s attention too

even you, who barely know him, know it’s a part of the “San effect”, he’s the nicest boy ever

overall when he whispered something into Yeosang’s ear and suddenly Yeosang began to look for someone in the crowd

until his eyes met yours

and his smile lighted up

and omg he’s just so cute god pls help me

you know when he just looks so tiny when he smiles bc he’s excited abt something?

THAT’S THE WAY HE LOOKED AT YOU

T I N Y

and you k n e w you had been admiring him for too long without smiling back or smth because suddenly he frowned

and then you panicked

you’re not subtle at all lmao

for some reason, you seem like an open book to him

so, after panicking, you just leaft asap

not knowing he was actually going to r u n after you

why? He doesn’t know, he just adores you and can sense something’s wrong

so yeah he said goodbye hurriedly and ran after you and stuff and finally found you outside the house where the party was being held, walking back home.

“Are you leaving?”

you were astonished and flustered to listen to his voice

“I am.”

“Why? It’s soon, isn’t it?”

“I’m suddenly tired.” You said and turned back.

“Suddenly? I mean-”

“Yeosang, you’ve drunk, I’m sure, why don’t we talk tomorrow?” You didn’t mean to sound rude, but back then all you neededd was: a bed

to sleep!!1!111!!1!

not to cry11!!!1!1!!

“I haven’t drunk that much.” It was the truth, he’s not the best drinker, but he’s not a bad one.

“Well, we’ll talk when you are 100% sober, okay? Besides, you seemed pretty entertained-” You stopped all of the sudden

now he knows you’re jealous!!!!!!! ah these kids nowadays

however, you were cool bc if he remembered that the following day, you couln blame it on the alcohol

WHY DID YOU THINK HE WAS THAT DRUNK GOD HE’S A SAINT HE’S BARELY DRUNK YOU DUMMY

but well never mind, you just kept living in your little world

AND you had given the other dummy an idea

“But I don’t want to drink anymore~” he said in a singing voice that m e l t e d your heart. “I’m not wasted, but I know I’ve drunk and my friends seem pretty irresponsible right now.”

he just wanted to spend some time with you you know

“Oh,,,” what else can you say? Was he REALLY saying he’d rather be with you?

“Then what can I do for you?” You asked

“Let’s take a seat somewhere? Is it fine by you?”

“You’re the alcoholic one here my dude.”

“Shut up, I still can talk! You should speak to Yunho right now.”

“Not a nice influence, Yeosang.” You said jokingly. Actually, you know Yunho and he’s the nicest dude out there

another softie

but not in the same way as Yeosang.

“Still, you won’t remember tomorrow, right?” You asked him.

“I probably won’t.” He decided to play that game.

You ended up taking a seat on a bench inside a park,,, to talk about some stuff and all that

and it’s comfortable for a few seconds

until you realized the boy is literally sweating

and you probably are too bc it was so hot inside,,, and it’s not rlly cold on the outside

so you grabed some wipes from your bag

“Do you want one?” You asked the boy “They’re cold.”

“Why do you have them in your bag?”

“Oh come on, you have to be ready for parties, don’t you have them inside your bag?

“Uhm, not really,,, maybe I should.”

you felt a bit ridiculous, but then he actually takes one and smiles

“summer’s coming and this is cool, better be safe than sorry”

He always has that ability to make you feel right

“I’m actually going to remove my makeup.” He commented, laughing.

He was a bit scared, but you wouldn’t notice if he didn’t pass the wipe where his birthmark is, right? Besides, it was too dark to actually see it.

But when he’s in the process of removing it, you see that he’s not doing it right

I mean one side of his face was going to disappear if he kept rubbing while the other one remained intact

so you decided to do it yourself because WHY NOT and well

he panicked, you panicked, but continued being awkward as if nothing was wrong

THEN the time comes, he closed his eyes, focused on how intimate and nice this feels

and you passed the wipe right next to his left eye, where his birthmark is

while you were holding the wipe with your right hand, where your birthmark is

the moment feelt like a movie

because right when you had passed the wipe, his eyes opened and he held your wrist, and you looked at him shook

and was it you or are you a bit closer than before?

but THE thing is that you could see his birthmark because it’s shining with a very subtle light

and yours was too

but you made no comment because he was only just looking into your eyes and holding your wrist,,, he hadn’t made a single comment

has he even realized?

he wouldn’t tell you

but dude you had sEEN EVERYTHING YOUR CRUSH IS YOUR SOULMATE???

Apparently, he just didn’t care??? So you pretended you hadn’t noticed too??

and the night went on and he still maDE NO COMMENT

DDDDDD:

So ye he just accompanied you home and said goodbye with a smile

HAS HE REALLY NOT REALIZED?

Were you the only one that has felt their heart in their throat?

Is the soulmate thingy broken for you?

There’s literally no other way to explain it

and you couldn’t sleep because all you could think about was the fact that he wuldn’t remember

he had told you

and when you see him on Monday you go ignoring him hours because hoW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HIM?

Are you really his soulmate?

“y/n”

DAMN IT, HIS VOICE ONCE AGAIN

“y-yes?”

“I remember you know?”

oh,,, THEN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

“Y-you do?”

“I’m sorry for reacting that way.” SO HE KNOWS? “Next time I won’t pretend I’ve drunk, I could notice you were awkward.”

nvm apparently he doesn’t

Eventually you changed your mind tho

Like homeboi be dropping hints about finding a soulmate but he yeeted your feeling through the window

That must be because he knows right?

BUT WHY DOESN’T HE DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT????

Suspicious

It was starting to get you on your nerves

He would ALWAYS vent to you about finding a soulmate, about being ready, about feeling it close

HOW CAN HE NOT KNOW GOD YOU WERE SO ANGRY

He always felt like you wouldn’t want to talk about the soulmate thingy, and he wouldn’t usually talk about that subject, knowing it bothered you

He thought that it was because you were frustrated bc nobody would come through

Dummy

Both of you dummies

One day it all just??? Exploded???

You had an awfully taught day at college, and when you talked to him about it you couldn’t even bring out the subject

“Sh, y/n listen, I’ve been thinking about it and I have a theory,,, do you think she’s my soulmate?” And he pointed discreetly to one girl standing on the other side of the road

“w-why would you think that?” Can you hear a crash? Yep, that was your heart.

“I don’t know, she’s with me in my math class and we get along well, I’ve known her for a few years now and-”

“Do you not like me?”

Yeosang was astonished.

“what?”

What what? Why does he looks so confused?

It made you feel so angry

“Look I understand if you don’t like me as your soulmate and you only see me as a friend and all that, just don’t rub it in front of my face, I feel awful every time because I like you so much Yeosang, you don’t even know-”

“what? Soulmate? What are you talking about?”

You don’t feel like a clown, you feel like the entire circus.

“Didn’t you know??? That we’re soulmate?”

“I- YOU- WHAT? MEN NONONONO ABSOLUTELY NOT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

It’s always fun listening to Yeosang getting confused, annoyed, and surprised in tiny font.

Some curious people were looking at you so you decided to take a seat at a park so that you can explain the situation through.

It was just both of you, face to face, like that night.

“I discovered it the last time we went to a party, remember? We went to a park like this…”

And instead of just explaining, you repeated the action, your left thumb lightly caressed his birth mark covered with make up.

“My birth mark is how I can find my soulmate?”

“Yep.” You nodded. “Mine is too, though it is not as visible.”

“That moment was meant to happen, didn’t it?” He half-smiled so fondly you were about to faint.

“So, about liking me and stuff…”

God you were so shy

And he was too

But he moved his head forward and looked at you straight in the eyes

“ I can’t imagine anyone better for me, I’m so fucking glad it’s you.”

Butterflies? You felt and entire zoo going up and down your body when his gaze fell to your lips

“So fucking glad.” He repeated, and kept starring at you, but not moving forward.

How can he not be so AWKWARD right now??? You literally went completely RED????

But you said fuck it I’ll do it myself

And joined your lips

And finally you felt it

Yes, so fucking glad.

#ateez #yeosang #kang yeosang #ateez imagines #ateez scenario #ateez au #ateez fluff #ateez yeosang #yeosang au #yeosang scenario #yeosang imagine #soulmate ateez #yeosang fluff #soulmate au

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transrightsjimin · 3 years

Text

im behind on my administration nd freaking out abt medical bills nd just, the privatization of healthcar!! if anyone told you the netherlands has super socialized systems, they’re either a time traveller from the previous century or lying or like... think anything tht isn’t the US is socialist. it’s not. this country is capitalistic nd social programs have been deteriorating for decades bc of this dominant neoliberal as well as fascist mentality in politics, which enforces budget cuts that hurt the working class nd then punishes them for being poor or sick. yes there is insurance, but insurance companies (that you’re required to by law to make use of even if you can’t afford it fully) are a competitive market that keep increasing its prices every year, less and less is insured bc of the privatization of health, this country is a tax haven for multinationals who pay fucking zero or even get donations from the government and ex-students are stuck with loan debt of ten thousands of euros bc of student benefits being turned into loans by liberal parties in the chamber. if i have to see ppl from other countries share these fucking posts praising the NL for being so progressive for legized weed (it rly isn’t??? there are shops where it can be bought w a license but ppl can be stopped on the street for smoking it bc of racial profiling, and owning one weed plant is legal but not using it or cultivating more than one. like cops in helicopters looking for houses tht cultivate weed bc they got dragged in a scheme is everyday reality you know??).

like yes, this is by far not the worst place on earth, even the working class, esp white, are still far more privileged than the working class in other countries, e.g. not needing to fear for war and having access to water or healthcare at least somewhere. and the petit bourgeouis is quite large in this country which is why there might be a disconnect in ppl’s minds when not being able to apply class theory to a local context. but it is this romanticization of a country tht breaks down its social systems, copies a lot of pseudo-science and ‘free market‘ shit from the US, and deals w its own tradition of denying its colonial / racist past and PRESENT (it still has colonies but it isn’t addressed as such??) that gets to people’s heads and justifies any bad processes bc ‘hey, it at least isn’t [insert other country]!!‘.

more personal rants abt bureacuracy bs and healthcare bills under the readmore. im stressed

FUCKING HELL i just found out that the ‘eigen bijdrage‘ (own financial contribution) that comes with this new ADHD medicine (lisdexfetamine) isn’t around €20-25 like the person who prescribed it stated it was (which already is a lot to me considering the first medicine is fully insured) but €105,37 of which i would need to pay €76,80 (i think bc the previous medication of methylfenidaat was affirmed as not effective) for just 30 MEDICINES so ONE MONTH??

the pharmacist i spoke to, sounded like they too found it an absurdly high price nd i asked if the amount would eventually not be needed to be paid anymore after a certain amount of times (which was for example the case with antacids i picked up for my mom nd myself) and they said it didn’t. i was adviced to seek contact with my insurance company so i did and they said p much the same thing about fees being constant, maybe at the most fluctuating a little bit to lower fees in some months but not much. the only good thing is that eigen bijdrage fees can “only” run up to €250 per year bc anything above that is covered by insurance (which is already so?? to me bc you also have eigen risico amount of €385 per year which works p much the same).

so i looked at the website of the ADHD diagnostic / therapy center i’m a patient at and there’s a page about fees for medication and it links to a web page with statement of the brand / pharmaceutical company that makes this lisdexfentamine and it turns out that you CAN send it a request to get payed back the (i think full??) amount that you paid for the medication. my fucking god the fact that the insurance company workers nor pharmacists couldn’t even access that information bc it isn’t communicated is so vile. i considered not taking this medication despite it possibly being one that actually works for me unlike methylfenidaat. i really hope i can get the full amount paid back and that it’s not actually so that there’s more to this the brand won’t tell people who need medication. i’m also just frustrated this shit isn’t covered bc

i have supposedly the best type of insurance at this company nd my parents help me pay for it and all and this medicine nd a bunch of other things STILL aren’t covered by insurance bc the pharmaceutical industry has become so privatized and the ADHD institution i am a patient at has no contract w insurance companies so that’ll be another €250 in 2021.

ALSO i still have this invoice of €91 from my orthodontist bc my splint was broken nd replaced a few months ago, and i want to send the invoice to my insurance to see if they could at least cover part of it. but for that i need a PDF and to download that, i need to enter a code which they would send to my ‘phone number‘ but that one belongs to my parents’ landline(?) phone and to change it, i need to log in but i don’t have an online account bc when i first joined that ortho center i didn’t have all that and so far that was just fine. so now i first need to find a way to make an account or change my phone number to be able to download the invoice PDF and send that to the insurance. goddd.

like i am blessed enough to have parents who keep offering to help me pay my bills but i feel guilty towards them whenever i accept that bc it’s not like they’re rich or anything nd my mom will lose 1 form of income (or already has) nd isn’t at pension age yet bc that’s 67 and she’s 65 so they’re dependant on mainly my dad who overworks on wage barely above minimum, though i do think my mom gets a little bit so that’s a bit of a relief. but urgh i rly don’t want them to pay for so much for me, nd though the municipality doesn’t check my bank account regularly, it can if it suspects fraud nd they do that for the most random reasons so i’m always afraid they will check and see my parents send money and end up witholding welfare benefits for us.

#rambles

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seijch · 4 years

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send me selfship questions!!

for @raevaioli because i wrote too much the first time and didnt have space to answer everything else 🧍🏻‍♂️

(there’s a lot of shit under the cut NDJKDKS be Warned)

1. where was your first date?

well, youve already heard about the first date that we realized was indeed A Date with futakuchi, but my first Proper Date with him would have to be somewhere like an arcade where we can have fun but still talk?? personally movie (theater) dates aren’t good first dates bc you Have to stay silent until the movie is over?? what’s the APPEAL...

there’s a shared exhale of relief as the large stuffed pokemon gets dropped by the crane into the pickup zone. “i can’t believe you pulled that off,” i tell him.

“you know, just for that, i’m keeping it.”

“you don’t even like pokemon! what happened to ‘this one’s for you, baby?’” i ask, voice dropping an octave to imitate him.

“i never said that, first of all. second of all,” he continues, grip tightening on the rowlet, “i won it. so it’s mine.”

“you fucking suck.”

(he says all this, yet when he drops me off, he insists i take the rowlet with me and name it after him. i graciously oblige, dubbing it coochie jr.)

when it comes to kuroo, he probably Says it’s some kind of unplanned affair but it ends with him unloading a picnic basket as we watch the sun set bc he’s a SAP... hate that fool 😔

“you’ve got good taste in music,” i tell him as the next song on his playlist begins. he’s definitely planning something, but i don’t say anything as his driving becomes less aimless.

“oh, i know,” he grins. “good enough for you to ask me for recommendations, i’d say.”

i’m crossing my arms before his sentence gets to finish. “listen,” i start, “you can’t tell me it didn’t work. we’re together now, aren’t we?” he doesn’t choose to grace that with a response.

before we know it, kuroo’s parked the car. “we’re here.”

“here? at the park? what are you gonna do, hold my hand while we watch the sunset?” i tease, getting out of the car. he doesn’t respond. “tetsu?”

“you really think you know me, don’t you?” he appears from the other side, picnic basket in hand and a resigned smile on his face. “what do you suggest we do now that my surprise has been torn to shreds, hm?”

“i mean...can we still eat? i’m kinda hungry.” i point to the basket. (i’m clearly deflecting ,, i was Not expecting kuroo the simp to jump out so early and my heart Cannot Take It)

2. who normally plans the dates?

between me and futakuchi i’m going to say none of us! we don’t really go on Dates dates, it’s just Us Hanging Out !! with kuroo, at first it’s him tbh but after we get comfortable everything becomes a date... idk tbh i’m not the type to sweat that kind of thing 🕺🏻 i do like to Go Out and do things w my s/o no matter who they are but a date doesn’t always have to be going out nor does it have to be a Special going out yk??

3. what kind of dates would you two mostly go on? do you have a “date spot?”

i mentioned this in my answer for 24, but w kuchi we have this ritual of going out to eat every friday and after we get together that doesn’t change!!! if we’re feeling extra lazy we might order takeout but we always always spend our friday nights together... it’s def smth we look forward to even Before we start dating (and it’s smth we both wonder Why we anticipate before we get tgt)

in terms of a date spot? we have our favorite places (like the ramen joint i mentioned in 24) but other than that maybe a few other restaurants and that’s kinda it! our other dates are the occasional study date but i cannot study when he’s around,, just looking at his face pisses me off 😃 nah but we can’t focus on school together + we’d get heated over a meaningless argument and get kicked out NDNSJSJ

when we get domestic w each other (like in uni or beyond) kuroo and i have all our dates at the grocery store... idk abt you but the INTIMACY of buying groceries w someone you love is so [clenches fist] yk?? but before and sometimes after that point rlly it’s like Things To See and Things To Do whenever kuroo puts himself in charge of planning it bc he knows we both like to be engaged and have fun!! (i alr said it but our date spot is the grocery store <3)

4. what kind of date do you think the both of you would enjoy the most? why?

that’s a very good question... i mentioned it alr but kuroo and i vibe heavy w things that are engaging and give us things to talk about while we keep busy,, like maybe an amusement park or smth w all the rides (we’re definitely spinning the shit out of the teacups) mostly bc i think he likes being kept on his toes and i do too! i think we’d challenge each other to do better by setting an example for the other to follow just in general,, also ngl places w a lot of ppl are good too so we can peoplewatch,, the two of us are the type to read people with a glance and when we need downtime we’d sit down somewhere and just kinda . 👁👁 yk

“i might barf,” i announce, gait crooked from the dizzying ride.

“no, you won’t,” kuroo replies, allowing me to drape myself over him though he’s not walking straight either. “didn’t you hear? vomitting is banned in this country and thirteen others.”

“a shame. anyway, let’s go on the pirate ship ride next.”

(we sit at the outer edge. it’s not a good time for the folks in the two seats in front of us. we wipe our vomit—mostly my vomit—from the corners of our mouths and apologize profusely.)

when it comes to kuchi, i think he’d like smth where we would end up competing against each other! i mentioned this when i answered question 50, but kenji and i are almost TOO competitive over stupid shit so smth like laser tag (where everyone is like ... why don’t you want to work together aren’t you DATING) would be SO fucking fun

“it’s not too late to surrender,” he simpers, my body sandwiched between his and the wall. my gun’s been knocked out of my hand—that’s gotta be against the fucking rules—and part of me feels like i’m on a real battlefield, as fleeting the thought is. “some battles, you just can’t win.” he punctuates this statement with a sage nod, leaning so close his breath fans against my face. “so, what’ll it be?”

i close the gap, pressing my lips against his and relishing in the strangled groan that comes from the back of his throat as he reciprocates, free hand moving to the nape of my neck. the hand holding the gun drops. that’s all the opening i need.

i let him deepen the kiss, take his bottom lip between my teeth and gently tug as my hands reach for his gun while his brain is still between his legs.

aim. fire.

i’m the last one standing, and the lights turn on around us. “it’s always good to have goals,” i tell him, granting him a consolation peck to the lips. “but i suggest making them more realistic next time.”

9. what do you think your first impression of them would be?

now THIS is a question i knew the answer to going in bc my best friend (honestly she doesn’t get paid enough ,, or at all ,, for all the shit she has to put up w from me NDNSKSK) had to hear all abt my elaborate fantasies regarding these two but!!

my first impression of kuroo is 1) 😳😳 and more importantly, 2) I Want To Know What He’s About... bc he’s not the kind of person i’d get the full picture of w just one look and maybe a few words spoken? he’d pique my interest a LOT (and this is smth he shares w tsukishima, tho i don’t see myself in a long lasting relationship w him like i do w kuroo and kuchi!) and i’d end up worming my way into his life whether he likes it or not until i find out :-)

unlike kuroo i see kenji and go Wow. What An Asshole. ok no i don’t NDNSJSN i probably think he’s cute first THEN go what an asshole and there’s definitely a long period of time where we’re genuinely getting on each other’s nerves before it goes into the romantic relationship-adjacent dynamic you see in my answer to 24!

10. what do you think their first impression of you would be?

kuroo’s definitely curious. i don’t imagine him being unable to see thru me from the start but i prove myself to be Good Conversation so he’s fine (and ends up being more than fine) with me bothering him as much as i do. kenji probably sees me the way i think most people see me at first? very soft and sweet ,, and then he tries to rile me up, tries to test the waters and pretty quickly finds out that right under the nice girl is someone that won’t hesitate to mirror the shit he tries to dish out.

(again) 24. would you confess first or would they? how would it have gone?

i saw you said in the tags you wanted to see the kuroo one so here it is 🤝 i had all my fun writing kenji’s so this one is shorter than that but!!!

NDNSNSN anyway !!! with kuroo it’s kinda 50/50 bc i’m not shy when it comes to my feelings but at the same time i like to have the lowest chances possible for failure when it comes to things like this... but i simp SO heavy for him so lbr it’ll prob be me just bc i literally Cannot pretend that my intentions are platonic anymore and he’s not gonna do it first (later i find out he was trying to see how long he could go before one of us mentioned the elephant in the room)

(5:38 PM) me: anyway for the weekly song rec

(5:38 PM) me: khalid ft. john mayer - outta my head

(5:39 PM) me: specifically 1:16-1:25 :-)

the messages have sent before i can think twice or even consult anyone about it. there’s a beat of silence. then two. then three. i throw my phone down onto the bed as it bounces off the mattress and onto the carpet.

what the fuck!!!!!! bitch why did you do that!!!!!!!

there’s no taking it back now. he reads it ten minutes after it sends (not like anyone’s checking, that would be preposterous). the picture i took of him mid-sneeze two months ago lights up the screen, a facetime call from shithead 👺 bringing me to yet another crossroads. do i answer it and face the music (literally), or do i pretend to have been busy and act as though i didn’t just confess to one of my best friends through text and with music, of all things?

i pick up the call.

“i liked the song,” he says as soon as the call opens, “though i can’t help but wonder if there was a hidden meaning to it.”

“and if i told you there was?”

“well,” he replies, sounding a little out of breath (where is he?), “i’d tell you to open your door because i’m outside.”

true enough, when i race downstairs and open the door, he’s waiting for me. “and if i told you that was my way of asking you to be my boyfriend?”

“well, i think i’d want to ask if i could kiss you. assuming, of course, it was alright to do something like that so soon-“

he doesn’t finish his sentence. his lips are a little bit chapped, but pleasant nonetheless, and i tuck the newfound fact away in my file of things i know about kuroo tetsurou.

(for reference, the song lyrics for the part i mention are can you feel the tension / you’ve got my attention / i know we’re just friends but / i’d rather be together instead)

#💘 selfship #also both ari and my real name are Not good names to make ship names out of but????#and its not like kuchi and kuroo are ideal for ship names either so im rlly at a loss NSNDJSJ #excuse how Long it took me to answer this i had to go to work before i could even brainstorm 😔#nd yes...if i ask a man for music recs im 90% up to smth i Admit #BYE I PROMISE I LOVE KUROO LIKE IM IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT THE FUTAKUCHI BRAINROT... SO STRONG #fun fact i actually asked someone out using the song i mention in kuroos confession scene 😃#this is also called ari overuses the italics function 😃#anyway im sure im forgetting to say a lot of shit but ill cross that bridge when i get there :-)#thank you again for asking raenah NDNSMSM #also after having given it some Thought i think kuri would be half decent for kuroo??#for futakuchi ... god i hate this slimy bastard i can’t think #maybe chika w the ka coming from my real name 👁#i’ve never been huge on portmanteau names but . if i had to pick i would choose those

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? doubtful, I don’t wanna hurt anyone, it’s awkward and a lot of ppl can’t change how they smell

Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? used to have one special object, I still hold it sometimes, I suppose I might again at night from Friday to Saturday

When are you likely to hide your emotions? when I’m face to face with an authority figure like boss, teacher or doctor, policeman too but I never been in a situation like this with them, I also hide my emotions from abusers at times to not show I’m afraid of them and to not provoke them more as well

Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I guess starvation as it takes longer

Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? it’s their decision to smoke, I don’t approve but I won’t get involved, I can only avoid them

Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? self harm more likely, I mean... I was talking with suicidal people about them wanting to kill themselves but never at the moment when they were doing it so I don’t know if that counts

When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? packing, last day with my parents before I go to the hospital

What is the last thing you complained about? probably health related issues

What was the last curse-word you said? kurwa

When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? I don’t fake sick, I might exaggerate but I won’t lie, I don’t want to worry my parents and because I’m chronicall ill I often was going to school even though I didn’t felt like it

Do you still talk to your very first best friend? no

When was the last time something went terribly wrong? basically everything goes wrong

How do you console someone when he or she is upset? depends

Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? no thx

How often do you feel overwhelmed? all the damn time

How do you deal with everyday life? poorly

Who in your family do you act like the most? my dad

What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? my gf is doing many sweet things

Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? I’ve never been confronted by the store guard - elseway I would never go back there out of anxiety

Is there someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? my mom

Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? sorta XD

Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? I was attacked but I didn’t fight back so...

A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? dunno

When was the last time you visited a thrift store? recently

Can you handle constructive criticism? I can’t handle any criticism :(

Who is the most sensitive person that you know? me?...

When was the last time you wrote someone a note? few days ago

Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I always tell

What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? not sure what was last hmm...

Which season do you dread the most? winter

Is there a foreign culture you’d like to learn more about? maybe

Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought “I could have done that?” abstract art

What is the scariest thing about attending your school? which one?

Are you a good judge of other people’s intentions? I got better with time

Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? depends

When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? my mother sometimes asks me to because she has migraines

When you don’t know how to spell a word, do you look it up? not always *ashamed*

Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? nope but I’m the one that often goes to the bathroom

Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? sure

When was the last time you doubted your abilities? I have... abilities? :o

What was the last thing you wished for? health... not gonna happen tho :(

How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? several, when I wake up then when I eat and between meals and then when I go to sleep and in the middle of the night if I go to pee

Where do you first remember living? I never moved

First fandom? woah I don’t remember

First otp/ship? neither

How old were you when you first when on a plane? -

What was your first tattoo? -

Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? show - She-ra, movie - A lot like love

Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? nooo

How many purses do you own? too many lol Are you bi? am not Who was your prom date? I never had one, I didn’t go to prom

Who was the last person to see you cry? parent[s]

Have you ever been used? yep

Do you like when girl takes you by surprise and kisses you? I like consent but... those were the best kisses ^^’’

Have you ever gone for someone despite knowing they were bad for you? I didn’t think about the future nor that I deserve love What kind of gift can win you over? what do you mean by WIN ME OVER? Are diamonds really a girls best friend? not mine, I don’t care for diamonds

Have you ever dated someone with a child? no way Have you ever dated someone shorter than you? Sarah was shorter

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? my parents and my current partner

What sound is annoying you right now? it’s quiet :3

What gives you a peaceful feeling? sleep?

Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? country

Are you more of a maker and giver, or a taker and user? taker and user I suppose

Do you buy holiday gifts early or at the last minute? early

If someone else were to describe you what would you hope they would say? the truth

Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for the child to outlive their parent? parent to outlive the child because it’s not common

When do you do your best thinking? evening/night

What was a choice that you didn’t want to make but you had to? majority of decisions are smth I’d prefer not to make

What age do you think it is most difficult to be? to each their own

Do you think you could handle a day in jail? who knows

Have you ever been on a trampoline? I have not

Do you pretend to be something you’re not to make friends? I’m being myself and that’s why I’m friendless :P

Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I’m introverted antisocial and a loner but I’m not shy, I can be loud and talkative

Are you more of an athlete or artist? artist Are you the type to procrastinate? I put PRO in procrastination Do you believe that you’ll always be a kid at heart? ;) What is something you want to improve on this year? health, I’m trying How many times a day do you get angry? uh oh... If you could eat any food you want right now, what would it be? personal Can you sleep with your eyes open? I’m no Gandalf

Do you still have any living grandparents? If so, how old are they? I don’t wanna talk about that

What’s your favorite computer game genre? simulations Do you have any exes your parents never liked? pfft Do you ever keep things just because they might be useful someday? we are hoarders

Are you frequently in a bad mood? sorry... Do you ever fill out surveys while in a bad mood? I go through soooo many moods before I finish one survey Are you a fast or a slow eater? slowest among my friends, fastest in my house How old were you when you had your first relationship? no idea what I should call a relationship and what not Do you get dental checkups at least once a year? yup Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? mom, sister before she moved out Have you ever used chewing tobacco? tha hell? that’s disgusting!

Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? not applicable Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? hat Are you putting off doing something right now? If so, what is it? drying my hair, drinking water and going to sleep mostly

Are you like me and hoard notebooks and pens? pens now, I stopped buying notebooks... oh wait... no... I just got one because I wanted to save bees, nvm... Are you sitting in front of or by a window? What can you see out there? by, it’s dark but there’s my neighbor’s house Are there any coasters on your table? If so, do they have text or pictures? flowers Do you have a song playing in your head right now, too? not really Don’t you hate it when people answer to surveys with one word answers? lame *I realized I did that myself *facepalm* Ever watched a cat or a dog sleep and run/twitch in their sleep? adorable <3 What’s something we do every day but they don’t depict in movies? it bothers me that in fantasy/sci-fi movies there are no toilets and meals are rare

Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? in the middle, childish yet of an old person haha Do you usually carry a backpack, a shoulder bag or something else? shoulder bag or tote Do you wear glasses? If so, have you ever tried to fix them when they’ve broken? helped my dad fix his glasses couple of times Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? they don’t show up frequently

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aqours-remade · 5 years

Text

asheternal replied to your post “debating if i should give my own two centso n it tbh”

who the fucc is that

ok sorta long post bc now i’m just gonna talk about my opinions with some pics so under the readmore (i’m bored)

this is about 7 months old and as we can see yeah ANet did not just collapse and is still doing healthy but the tl;dr is that Jessica Price was a dev who was fired for her conflict with a partner of ANet which spakred some debate about sexism but i honestly. really think she was just kind of an asshole and got fired for it although it did bring up some good points about the industry and the whoel thing is, no matter where you stand on it, a very messy and complicated situation

although no matter what i think firing the other guy was uncalled for as ill talk about here below

so Jessica Price was a GW2 dev that to my knowledge did work for Living World and writing for GW2 in general. she’s an industry veteran with a dozen years. she had a twitter thread about the complications of writing an MMO main protagonist, in that you have to write them in a way without too much emotion or personality or it won’t feel like “your” character, which lead to this alteration with a streamer

Deroir is a paid affiliate of ANet: he is a streamer, but he also is paid to i think bug test GW2 and i think has an NPC named named after him in the game: https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Deroir

maybe its mansplaining, maybe its not... it really doesn’t feel like it??? i really have the benefit of the doubt the dude was just giving his own opinion on this one as a (paid) content creator for the game with an opinion

then things really began to escalate as price made several more tweets and things got really out of control really fast

now I don’t watch Deroir’s streams so i don’t know much about the man himself, his attitude, or his personality, but this does seem to be the only conflict he ever had with her (so it wasn’t a series of little things blowing up). another dev publicly defended Price and things escalated, prompting ANet to fire them, announced by Mike O’Brien, CEO of ANet:

i don’t think it was particularly wrong of ANet to fire her at this point, as she was publicly an employed part of this company that acted extremely unprofessionally to a situation she could have completely ignored or civilly disagreed with. if Deroir had been a full-blown “sweetie, I don’t think you fully understand the writing of this game you work on :)” as far as i’m concerned this situation would be changed entirely and i’d be 100% on her side but i don’t think its hard to describe it as an appropriate reaction. the above is from the GW2 official forums on a thread concerning the incident.

i do think its worth really keeping in mind this wasn’t a conversation about gender as opposed to the writing of believable MMO characters, i really genuinely feel it was a genuine opinion that quickly devolved into something else. and everyone who knows me knows i’m usually completely on this side which is... why its. feels really weird of me to even type this because i don’t want to be against this side

i do however believe it was a bit too hasty to just fire them...? i think giving Price a chance to make up for it wouldn’t have been out of the question? it was definitely a tense situation that absolutely warranted being called into the boss’ office to say “hey. you uh. fucked up and made problems for us. you gotta fix this.” although considering Price’s attitudes i think she just would have used this against ANet later. it was a PR nightmare no matter how things would have gone down. i think Price would have blown any chance to make up for it, but I am surprised the guy was fired just for standing up for her. i would understand ANet saying “hey. you represent us publicly on twitter. do not support behavior that antagonizes our fanbase again.” but to fire him definitely seemed like jumping the gun, and that one i definitely don’t agree with. i think he (Fries) deserved a stern reprimand without consequences at most as long as it didn’t happen again, while Price should have at least been given a chance to make up for that incident

Price then reached out to basically any journalistic source that would reach out to her and decried the firing as based in sexism and harassment and basically bowing down to make gamergaters happy, and claiming that ANet’s public statement was directly harassing her by basically sicing a mob on her. it is true that the behavior she faced afterwards was unforgivable: i don’t have screenshots but you can probably imagine how it was with men like this. and Price has repeatedly blamed ANet as basically selling her out to make dudebro neckbeards happy and for not protecting her knowing what happens to a disgraced female dev in this modern day. however, to say ANet was “actively soliciting harassment” is an incredible stretch, and i don’t believe that was really the case. this was a very messy situation that ANet absolutely should have handled much better, but it still ultimately boils down to an employee acting in a way that’s unacceptable and being fired for it that... really doesn’t seem to have its roots based in sexism. she’s also gone on the record saying she’s being contacted by people who will “never work with ANet again” and milking that for what its worth. fast forward now to 7 months later and ANet clearly is still in a good place financially so... i really doubt there’s any permanent fallback as a result.

this is a video from one of the few ppl whose opinions i really like on video games so this is a good??? video to kinda help recap the events:

youtube

i just think she’s just an extremely white lady. the kind of person who demands to see the manager kind of white. i don’t have a good opinion of her nor do i think she’s “one of us” worth looking out for. i really doubt people are going to avoid working with ANet if given a valuable deal with it.

she should have been reprimanded and asked to apologize and given a chance to make up for it; although i think with the full story and conversation in mind its hard to really sympathize with her. white women are gonna white and this whole thing escalated out of control as a result and i absolutely wouldn’t want this woman on my development team for anything at the end of the day.

#asheternal #ok to rb if you want #jessica price

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strawberry-milktea · 6 years

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I don't want to socialize. I don't like it. I don't even want a huge group of friends--maybe a couple I feel comfortable with. I don't want a bf til I can be independent. I do want to move out and have my own space. And I want a fulfiling job. That is my dream. Specifically to write and fight injustice like terrorism, human trafficking, abuse (no idea how to do that). Never wanted to be conventional. Have a pet sitting "business" - always hard to talk to clients, rather be w animals. I have a ha

I have a hard time trusting God because I do not want to do things I don’t like. I want to do the things I want to do for a living; God wants me to do something social. Anyone who is not good at social things is less in the eyes of God and everyone else. I do NOT want to have such a shameful weakness- I mean, afraid of people? How stupid. But I would rather be alone and read, write etc most of the time. I like it better that being w ppl. But God wants us to love ppl and be w them all the time

I mean, you have to be good at social things to be successful, to have a job. If you aren’t, you have to make up for it in a LOT of skills of other kinds. Which I don’t have. I do not want a walmart job- but couldn’t even do that, much less what I want to do–something to do with national security etc. I

If God wants me to change and be social, then that IS where my value lies and I am not valuable like this.

Had internship after school but they fired me bc I was too nervous and couldn’t do the job. W public defender. Had to interview ppl in jail and ask them questions from a sheet. There was a math question on it. Could not figure it out. They gave me a book to learn it but I could not concentrate w ppl around. Math+social? Impossible. Same w vol this summer- messed up change bc customer talking to me. Don’t know what I actually have ability to do… :( cant be at parents forever.

I don’t want to be weak. I want to be strong. I want to use my strengths to glorify God. Ppl using their strengths in a job, their talents, will make both them and others happy bc it will simply be a better product. Who wants to read a book by a bad author, for example?

I have asked God for help. To get me a job. Make me do things. He did not help me.

—

Hi there,

Personally speaking, I’m not big on socializing. I’m the type of person who enjoys spending time with people who I am close with and trust.. and that’s only a handful of people. If I’m comfortable with you, I can keep talking for a long time and I genuinely enjoy it! But if I’m not comfortable with someone and/or it’s just surface small talk, it can start to feel like interacting becomes a chore or it can feel a bit awkward. I also get drained and anxious feeling pretty quickly in settings with large crowds. I’m an introvert and it sounds like you are too - and introversion is definitely not something inherently negative or wrong. But the concern here regarding your situation is it seems like your introversion is related to a lot of deep-seated fears (which if I recall correctly, are linked to past hurts) and it’s interfering with your life in a way that is making you unhappy. And it’s definitely clear that the enemy is preying on this by doing a number on your self-confidence and feeding you the lie that you aren’t valuable or loved by God if socializing is a challenge for you.

Your claim that “anyone who is not good at social things is less in the eyes of God and everyone else” is not Biblical. God’s love for us is proven by the fact that He died on the cross to make the free gift of salvation through faith in Christ possible. The Word also tells us that we become righteous in His eyes as a result of accepting Christ so that our sins are washed away and we become white as snow.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” - 2 Corinthians 5:21

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” - Isaiah 1:18

There is no reason to believe that God loves you less or thinks of you as lesser because socializing is difficult for you. That’s a flat out lie from the enemy meant to attack your confidence and weaken your faith in God. You’re correct when you say God wants us to always love others. However, it is inaccurate to say God expects us to be around people all the time. One example that proves God does not expect this is that we are told to pray in private and spend time alone with the Father (Matthew 6:6). We are not commanded to be in the presence of others 24/7 nor is always being around people socializing a requirement to fulfill the command of to loving others.

Socializing does serve various purposes that can help both yourself and others, and glorify Him. One example of this is carrying out the Great Commission. Communicating with others is how we tell people about Christ. However, you don’t have to be the strong at verbally talking in order to socialize and communicate with others. He can use the areas you do have strengths in to serve others. And at the same time, He can help you get stronger at the areas of socializing you aren’t so strong at - but you have to allow Him to do that work in you. If you completely shut yourself off to the idea of doing things outside of your comfort zone, He won’t force His help upon you.

Using myself as an example, I am definitely stronger at articulating myself about matters of faith in writing versus verbally speaking. Sometimes I get nervous verbally speaking and the enemy likes to attack my confidence in these moments. I believe that He allowed for me to use this blog as a means of carrying out the Great Commission because a strength of mine lies in written communication. But at the same time, He’s put me in situations of verbally talking to people about faith to show me that even though communicating verbally isn’t my strongest area, He provides the perfect words and the nervousness melts away when you trust and allow Him to work in you.

Another example relating to your situation about work concerns is that when I first started working, I was terrified to answer the phones. I was so afraid of sounding silly and talking to a stranger on the other end of the line. However, I made peace with the fact that this is a big part of my job. And it certainly felt awkward at first because it was outside of my comfort zone. But when I kept doing it, it became something I do without a second thought - and it feels really nice when I think about how nervous I used to feel over it and how now it’s really not much of a big deal. I sometimes still get moments where fumble over my words a little because like I said, verbal communication isn’t one of my strongest areas. I don’t think I’ll ever feel as much ease handling work phone calls as I do when say talking to a family member or a friend. But that’s okay - I don’t need to be perfect at articulating myself or feel comfort as if the person on the other end of the line is my best friend in order to get my job done. Likewise, you don’t have to demand a level of perfection of yourself in socializing in order to be functional at the job that He wants for you.

What is so important to understand is that when you ask God for help, you have to be willing to accept that help. He won’t force you or make you do something.. you’ve admitted that you don’t want to do things that you don’t want to. So if you’ve made up your mind that you can’t socialize, it’s impossible for it to be any other way, and you won’t keep trying at it, He won’t make you do something differently. You have freewill.. and if you use your freewill to be stubborn and refuse for Him to work in you because you’re afraid and/or don’t want to do things outside of your comfort zone, He will respect that decision. You can’t accuse Him of not helping you when you are only willing to accept His help on your terms and not His. And by refusing the idea of any type of change or doing something that is potentially uncomfortable until you get used to it, you can block Him from working in you - not because He isn’t able to or doesn’t want to, but because He won’t force you to change or take a certain action. It’s unfair to believe He isn’t helping you if you’re expecting Him to make you do something, simply because He doesn’t make people do things. That would work against the freewill He has given us if He forced us to do things against our will.

I can’t know what God specifically wants for you in terms of the job meant for you.. I can offer my thoughts and advice based on what you tell me, but when it comes to what path He wants for you, I have no way of knowing that. That’s why it’s so important for you pray and seek His guidance with this, as this is something between you and Him. I think you also need to reach a point of accepting that there will be some degree of communication necessary, no matter what that job is. The degree of socializing in jobs will vary, but every job requires some sort of communication with others in order for tasks to he completed. Even people who are self-employed have to communicate with others at times. You of course aren’t required to be in a job where there’s a lot of socializing involved, but you will need to do it sometimes no matter what the job - your pet sitting business is an example of that. Even though you work with the pets most of the time, you still have to talk with the pets’ owners at times.

It’s not a shameful weakness to have a hard time communicating with people, and it’s not something impossible to get stronger with. It may be impossible to get past this by your own power, but it’s possible when you seek Christ and rely on Him for strength. The Word tells us all things are possible with Christ.

“But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” - Matthew 19:26

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13

Try to tackle the fear and consider what is motivating your fear of socializing. Are you afraid of looking silly to others? Afraid of what they think of you? Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen if you say stuttered or lost your train of thought when talking to someone out of nervousness? Chances are you are actually thinking worse of yourself than what the other person is thinking of you. Also, it’s important to remember when you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, you seek His approval - you no longer need to be in the bondage of seeking approval of man:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10

That’s why it’s so important to adapt the mindset of, “Even if someone did decide to think I’m weird because I stumbled over my words or felt nervous talking to them.. so what? What they think of me ultimately doesn’t matter.” I’m definitely not saying this is a mindset that is easy to have or one that you adapt to overnight. It’s something I still struggle with at times, too. But when I find myself in those moments, I try to ask myself if I’m worrying about what others think or what He thinks, if my worrying over what others think will even ultimately matter in any way or is it just the enemy preying on my self-consciousness. With His help and continually drawing nearer to Him/strengthening your relationship with Him, you can overcome this fear. He can help you to lay down the fears and self-consciousness and have an easier time communicating. At first it may feel difficult and like something you don’t want to do, but growth often feels like something you don’t want to do in the moment. But after you get past the discomfort and see how He’s helped you to become stronger, you find yourself thankful that you listened to Him and didn’t remain stagnant in your comfort zone.

Most people tend to want to remain in their comfort zones because it’s what is familiar to them. Many times, even if on some level a desire for something to change is there, it just feels good to remain in what you know with certainty you can do with ease. I see that in your words - you desire more (the right job, a boyfriend, independence, etc), but at the same time you want to only achieve these things on your terms and are stubborn against going outside the comfort zone out of fear. And I really do get it - the unknown can be scary and nobody enjoys the idea of venturing into something new with the possibility of failing at it. But we can’t allow the fear of the unknown and the possibility of failing to hold us back. When we do, it’s how we become stagnant and never move forward. Fear can be paralyzing, stopping you from succeeding and doing what He wants you to do before you even try. You can’t allow past times you haven’t succeeded to hold you back.. that’s the enemy using those times to chip away at your trust in the Lord and your confidence. The enemy loves reminding you of the parts of your past that you want to forget and leave behind.

I remember you mentioning in past messages your concerns about living with your parents. If you are worried about that, talk openly about it with them. Tell them your worries about living there until you find the right job. Chances are, they aren’t bothered by you living there but instead, it’s your own fear causing you to feel self-conscious about it. Maybe they could also offer you support and guidance about your career concerns, too.

You have a Heavenly Father who loves you and wants to guide you in this. You also have brothers and sisters in Christ who love you and want to help in any way they can. The enemy will try to make you believe you’re facing this alone, but you aren’t.

#God #asks #anon #fear #anxiety #work

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springdoy · 3 years

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hi Ina! your themes are beautiful but do you support people using your codes on krps? I found blogs using them on kocs and even though i’m korean american i still feel pretty uncomfortable with people doing this type of rps. the amount of fetishizing there is disgusting.

* hi there! i took so time to educate myself on the topic cause i didn’t want to give you a simple yes / no answer. i wanna start apologizing to those who are suffering from the current situation against the asian community, i hope life treats u all well & things get better for u all. now, about using my themes on krps i personally feel that’s something i won’t be able to control. even if i say that i don’t like them people will still do it cause they bought it with their money and its now ‘theirs’. i don’t really have the time nor the energy to keep track on who is using my themes / resources, how they’re using them and so on, but i kindly ask u to stop using my resources if u fetishize asians, support any kind of weird dynamics / stereotypes, and so on. i will try my best to keep educating myself, that i can promise.

now, for the other part, i wanna ask if it’s ok for me to keep using kpop songs / groups / idols as my theme references ( dont now if thats the right word ). i will stop doing it if that’s uncomfortable to u guys, cause the last thing i want to do is to make ppl feel bad kajskjads. sorry for the long post and the weird wording, my head keeps trying to write this in spanish fdjdkjf.

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hotelsweet · 7 years

Photo

HI and thank you so so so much if you got involved in this!!!! I’m so excited to be celebrating 1.5k w you guys and can’t wait to dish out some of these lil prizes <3

u guys I’ve had so much fun doing this and I’ve legit sat here for HOURS going through everyone’s blogs and tags and I’m just so,,,, in love,,, this fandom is amazing and u guys are so gorgeous and amazing! I’ve been whining at @peraltiagoisland all day about how much I want to include everyone and shower u all in compliments and just!!! I’m so blown away tbh A QUICK REMINDER OF THE PRIZES WINNERS: - a big personalised playlist from me to u (u kno how I love my tunes) - a follow from me if I’m not followin u (duh) - a mention here!! - a b99 fic from me if u want it!!! any prompt ya like - hugs and love obvs

RUNNERS UP: - a lil personal playlist from me to u - also a follow if I’m not already - also hugs and love - and a lil mention here <3

if you’ve won/are a runner up please message me so we can talk and I’ll get started on your stuff! i’m so excited to talk to a bunch of you and give u music and writing agh <3

OKAY WITHOUT FURTHER ADO (I have added notes in italics bc I am just so excited and amazed by u guys)

BEST SMALLER BLOG (a very important category bc I actually do not understand how these people don’t have thousands of ppl following them??)

WINNER: @the-pontiac-bandit OKAY let me tell you about carrie and her blog. I spent a solid 60 mins reading her amazing writing and admiring her theme and then I checked her reblog and she had the #under500 tag and I yelled. not kidding. like an actual noise left my mouth because HOW THIS GIRL DOES NOT HAVE A CULT FOLLOWING I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. FOLLOW HER RUNNERS UP: @theartofdreaming1 aka Vicky who is the sweetest person and SUCH a talented artist!!! @khwabonkeparindey anna’s blog is so adorable and maybe it’s bc I’m type A but the layout of her navigation actually turned me on a little bit oh my LORD it’s beautiful and so well-organised @two-drink-amy I was only gonna have two runners up for this category but nicole and everything about her blog is so sweet!!

BEST URL WINNER: @jake-purealta not only does tash seem incredibly lovely BUT this url is so perfect and well-fitting!!! I feel like, given her obsession w Tswift, it fits beautifully well with jake’s obsession too??? everything about it clicks I love it RUNNERS UP: @roscoesantangelo because I mean!!!!! you’ve scored the perfect url of jorma taccone’s character in parks and rec!!!? like damn good on u my guy @amysantiagone okay I wont lie this one is for personal reasons- although I happen to absolutely love Nate’s blog- bc for some reason the url reminds me of when u get super drunk and describe urself as “gone” (a v popular phrase here in the UK) and as a result I just picture drunk Amy whenever I see ur URL

BEST EDITS WINNER: @juliadorable RIGHT OKAY SO JULIA (julia) is one of these people I’ve always wanted to chat to bc she seems amazing but what I absolutely love about her edits & gifs is that she picks/ creates posts for some of the most underappreciated moments in the show!!! I love em and this blog is a blessing thank u sm RUNNERS UP: @jakeperallta aka @deepshadows !!! look at these edits immediately oh my god they are actually incredible and so creative!!! i’m not worthy!! fam I love ur edits so much thank u for providing me w this goodness <3 follow alexa immediately on both blogs seriously @brown-aces I won’t lie I’m not sure if these count as edits but I legit couldn’t not include you because of THE INCORRECT QUOTES TAG. this is legit one of my fave things and ur posts never fail to make me chuckle

BEST GIFS WINNER: @fourdrinkamy okay so not only is Emma gorgeous, talented, super clever and just all-around marvellous BUT her gifs are like... so good they’re satisfying? like I spent a good half hour just scrolling and admiring ‘em RUNNERS UP: @amesantiagos okay this girl has such an eye for colour and aesthetic I’m not kidding everything just looks so Good!! like I adore her stuff to the point where I followed her on insta too (hi Amy I’m darcey_wm if ur wondering where I am) bc it just looks so damn good @sergeant-santiago I’m just.... like.... shooketh..... I’ll get back to this later

BEST FICS (oh my god what a category I legit could NOT pick someone lol this was painful bc u guys write the best shit) WINNER: @elsaclack this feels a little obvious/predictable of me bc I’ve rambled about em’s stuff before but Dear Fucking God can this woman write. her fics and the way they had me laughing/crying/glued to my phone are the reason I RUNNERS UP: @peraltiagoisland MICHELLE aka the love of my life KNOWS HOW TO KILL ME NO MATTER THE TIME NOR PLACE dear god I recommend so hard,,,, jump in and give the drama club au a spin trust me u won’t regret it @jakelovesamy oh my god okay so let me tell u. let me TELL U i did not realise that this gorgeous girl was on AO3 but then I clicked over from her blog and it all came flooding back once I recognised her handle!!! I recommend u go and read ‘and all my world is losing light’ bc it’s gorgeous @oceanvirus again I didn’t mean to have three runners up but I had to bc I’m just..... a piece of shit lol BUT ANYWAY please please go and read Bella’s stuff I love it so much

BEST ICON WINNER: @brown-aces GIRL THIS ICON FITS THE THEME SO WELL AND ALSO IT’S THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE ROSA LOOKIN FIERCE so obvs I’m obsessed RUNNERS UP: @jakelovesamy bc it’s adorable and I adore it @three-drink-amy bc it’s my beautiful, smiling boy,,,, grinning at this wonderful blog

BEST DESKTOP THEME WINNER: @smolsamberg okay kara’s blog is gorgeous anyway (go follow!!!) but this theme is fuckin funky as shit??? navigating it genuinely felt like operating the sexiest lil website on earth and for that I am grateful RUNNERS UP: @bastillebananas this theme is FUCKING ADORABLE not kidding I love it omg I had so much fun w it (also hi fellow fan of bastille!! I’m seein ‘em this summer at a festival exciting) @amesantiagos this theme is so cute oh my lord (almost as cute as the wonderful Amy who runs this blog!!! seriously it’s just so wonderful and satisfying and Good Choice my guy I love it (and u)

BEST MOBILE THEME WINNER: @swansongcas MATE omg your blog is so satisfying and blue and just like.. sexy to look at so well done my guy!!! also helps that I adore ur blog in general but omg is it aesthetically pleasing RUNNERS UP: @oceanvirus bella your mobile theme is almost as sexy as u ;) x (I’m sorry if that was creepy I promise it was well-intended) @two-drink-amy okay this is partially bc of the adorable icon but mostly bc of the theme and I just... it’s so bright and sweet and honestly just reminds me of my joyous response to every b99 episode ever WHEW OKAY SO BEFORE WE DO THE BEST OVERALL BLOG,,,, I WANNA JUST THROW A FEW SURPRISE SUPERLATIVES / FUN CATEGORIES

this is also gonna include some honourable mentions bc I am supported by some brilliant people and also bc not everyone I wanted to put in on here I could??? which is crazy so:

A big round of applause to the X-drink Amy crew who I see all the time and firmly believe should all be led by the adorable @full-santiago ?? like a little clan of Amy-themed URLs: @two-drink-amy / @three-drink-amy / @fourdrink-amy / @fourdrinkamy / @fivedrinksantiago / @six-drink-amy (I’m sure there’s more of you out there but these came to mind and I want u all to form a band or something)

A big fat shout out to emily aka @jakefreakingperalta who!!! made these valentines cards that I used this year for my friends but never knew the source of!!! another example of the funny and amazing ppl I follow here

an honourable mention for the amazing @tiadorable whose comments on my first works on AO3 (and my more recent stuff, too!) made me smile and motivated me so much <3 now for some superlatives!! follow these people rn!!! and if ur here please feel free to come ask me to write or make anything for u ever I love u

most likely to lure me onto the sin train and never look back: my girl erica aka @startofamoment.... can u believe.... the creativity and the happiness/giggles this lady brings me

most likely to literally ruin my fucking life thru writing: obviously em?? aka @elsaclack. I appreciate this is a fairly harsh title but dear god the things u could make me feel?????? also a brilliant woman i love u

most likely to always have complete faith in me, chat to me constantly, make me smile, & constantly be a complete angel w a heart of gold and amazing writing: @peraltiagoisland. need I say any more????

OKAY so the big 1:

BEST OVERALL BLOG RUNNERS UP: everyone who reblogged my first post. not a cop out. not kidding. u guys are amazing WINNER: @sergeant-santiago okay okay okay let me tell u about this blog. everything from content to quality stuck out to me when I was looking through everything for the blog awards and I was just completely blown away and in awe??? this girl is perfection and if you’re not following her blog then I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY get ur late ass over there bc u are missing the fuck out. I can’t stress this enough!!!! alright!!! I think we’re about there!! thank you so much (again) for 1.5k. u guys are wonderful

#this took me... forever #I'm sorry it took so long!!!!#I just wanted to make sure I could pay attention to as many people as humanly possible #bc u guys r worth it #thank you thank you thank you for 1.5k #and the support my stuff gets #darcey speaks #1.5k blog awards #blog recs #fic recs

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thetwistedrope · 7 years

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Hey if you're around and not busy and stuff, can I ask for you to weigh in on a thing? Someone named xoxogarnet is kicking up a fuss in the spirit companions tag about how "relationships" with spirits are fake and impossible and letting newbies think that they aren't is dangerous. And you've always got such well-thought-out opinions, as well as this being an area of expertise for you, I think you would be a good influence on the conversation.

First I want to say thank you for asking me this off of anon. Since most folks ask for input while on anon (which I will no longer oblige 9 times out of 10, just fyi for those reading.) So thank you for that.

I’ve flipped through the thread, and it definitely is a dumpster fire from start to finish. For those who don’t feel like looking at the original, here are some choice bits…

Dating Spirits, is NOT a thing. You are not dating a God, you are not in a committed relationship with an angel or demon, or anything that falls under the spirit/entity category. You aren’t creating “children” either, just thought forms/tulpas/entities that may or may not develop free will.

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY. This is TOXIC and everyone who is doing this is either being taken advantage of by something darker or are willfully misinforming other witchlings of how to abuse Spirit Work!

I have seen my fair share of ridiculous claims in the magical community but to all the witchlings and Spirit Worker’s new and experienced, THIS IS BUNK. Its not what Spirit Work and Companionship is about.

and

Seeing run of the mill entities in ‘relationships’ with people is alarming as well because I fail to see how it takes the place of a living person. The human body craves touch and I don’t mean just 'sex’ and other sexual activities, I mean hugs, hand holding, pats on the back, kisses, snuggling, tummy rubs, etc! You simply can’t have that with an entity not on this plane! Its why I keep saying this is so unhealthy, because it IS. You can’t start your life with a Spirit, a spirit can’t take you to dinner or drive you to the doctor when you’re sick, or push you on the swings at the park. No matter how you slice it, a 'relationship’ with a spirit is just an affectionate friends with benefits type of deal, it doesn’t fix or replace the need for a real living partner.

and

These kind of unhealthy emotional attachments just helps people and spirits take advantage of casters who don’t know any better and I was noticing that the vast majority of people doing this are brand new or a few years in and this is not helping these new witchlings experiment with their Craft, SAFELY.

And i know that you had asked me to weigh in on the conversation, but I’m of the mindset that OP will likely not be persuaded into any sort of other thinking. Given that the thread has over 100 notes as of right now, I don’t expect that they’d be willing to listen to anything I say.

However, for those who are interest in spirit work and/or spirit relationships, I can say this much:

OP is not wrong in that it’s not something that everyone has to do. It’s also not something you should just run into without thinking it through and quadruple testing your discernment. I understand their concern, as it is a good way to wreck your life if you’re not careful.

However, OP is assuming a fuckload about what people in these relationships think and how they advise people who are interested in non-corp relationships. And I think they’re throwing the baby out with the bathwater in a lot of their responses. Assuming a lot, and bordering on ableism in some of their responses (or more accurately, who they’re agreeing with in the responses.)

I think anyone who is in a non-corp relationship knows that it’s not easy, that its not always fun, that these entities are not around to help you with things. That you can still get lonely because a spirit is not a physical being. that doesn’t invalidate the relationship, though. Nor does it mean that non-corp relationships can’t add to someone’s life.

I have been in a physical relationship with someone for about ten years now, and I never set out to get a man harem, but let me tell you, my menz add to my life in a way that my physical SO can’t. Similarly, my SO adds to my life in a way that my non-physical menz can’t. My non-physical family enriches my life in many ways and anyone who says otherwise can Fight Me.

I guess the overall takeaway is that OP’s posts are filled with “been there, done that, stfu” because nothing they’ve said is not anything I haven’t heard before. All of their crying and whinging and pearl wringing is old news that won’t stop ppl from forming these relationships, nor is anything they’ve said going to prepare someone for being responsible and informed about any sort of relationships they form. Its all of the most frustrating elements of these conversations rolled into one thread.

TL;DR: I’m sorry that people assume so much about consorts and spouses and that everyone has to put up with this fuckery on the regular. You keep doing you and just be sure to be smart and responsible about how you form these relationships and everyone can take a long walk off a short pier

*rolls away*

#asks #non-corp relations #spirit spouse #god spouse #dirty spirit spouse in the god spouse tag #kemetic consorts

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ecstasybread · 7 years

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so i’ve been Absent from this hell site

brief relationship turned sour

b/c this manboy is emotionally stunted and it was emotionally abusive, b/c of his total indifference to my wellbeing, also his horrible politics my god, he’s not vocal about them or anything b/c #masculinity despite ~socially liberal attitudes to sex/uality, gender to some extent, race, etc

like it’s ok i’m anti-zionist b/c he’s ½ lebanese, it’s not ok 2 criticize capitalism when his whole identity is contingent upon what he ~does, but all his jobs have been handed to him by his daddy, and he’s gonna inherit this current company most likely. CRY ME A FUCKIN RIVER about job stress, and keep doling out job search advice. the self-awareness!!1! meritocracy!1! immigrant daddy’s bootstraps!1! the free market only rewards the best and the brightest, not children of company owners without the requisite skills who need to learn on the job, then hire acquaintances to do drudgework b/c you’re above the task you’ve been given even though YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY DO WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO AT THE COMPANY YET. omg. idc it’s just so ridiculous

he led me on with his politics early on, like late april apologized of his own volition for pulling some BS about music now being valuable to our economy because it doesn’t produce material good… he was probably still trying to impress me, and i wasn’t having any of it, what libertarian nonsense. this basic bitch literally is obsessed with cryptocurrency. talking about MATERIAL GOOD and useless garbage waste of time. he also works for a company that is contracted to make handbag samples for a big designer brand (ugly WASPy clothing and accessories… w/e) so do not talk about value when that ugly overpriced shit is not demanded by ~society, nor do those handbags feed anyone

he’s also subletting from a friend, despite asking to be on a break an hour after i mentioned her idea, and after we’ve broken up, like it’s tactless to do this. find another room/apartment. god knows you throw money at people. he sees every human interaction as transactional. in fact has directly said every human interaction should use venmo. over 2 weeks ago he ended up lording money over me and then blocked me on that app and elsewhere lmfao, i told him via comment “i know you think you’re your earning power at daddy’s company but i did not ask for your money.” that was 2 much truth for him. he also unblocked me recently on venmo… because that’s his life source and he’s a nosy garbage human

for all of june, which was still part of the relationship despite him asking to go on a ‘break’ from/with me (but still pleaded to see me, talk to me, and can i go to your friend’s party…), and most of july when we weren’t together (’i’m not ready to date’ he writes, like yeah, but you were also stringing me along, iced me out, and emotionally abusive in insidious ways… doing and saying careless shit, dropping worrisome one-liners on me over chat and in person, not being able to hold a conversation or form impressions, it’s so draining to be around that, to have to be “on” 100% of the time and worry about this person you came to care about b/c you do when you get to sort of know someone in any context, especially in an ~intimate one, someone who never has a good thing to say about anyone in his life - parents, sibling, exes he’s ‘friends’ with, exes he’s not over, former roommates he’s not on speaking terms with (because he’s habitual about the lording of money over ppl), acquaintances, friends…

his self-worth is derived from earning power/job and whether someone will sleep with him. his identity is based on… complete self-interest. libertarian economics and techie aspiring BS jargon. he didn’t go to school cos he didn’t have to, but also i suspect he has a mental block surrounding academia and won’t confront it, but still criticizes people who study things he doesn’t find ‘useful’ (so everything that isn’t abstract science and… idk, art. he’s no fuckin da vinci)

he doesn’t have anything going for him, or anything to offer tbh. but conventional looks (i guess 2 some) and he’s all surface level. and narcissistic

he doesn’t have many friends of his own, makes sense because he pushes people away with his behavior, believes that constitutes self-imposed isolation… yet tries to hang out with the friends of people he’s not on speaking terms with - former roommates, an ex (as it turns out my friend who kept their relationship on the DL, calls him ‘toxic’ -wish she had talked to me or something). it’s again, tactless, and weird loner shit. he tries to get sublets (if he has money why not just live alone? because he doesn’t want to live alone, yet is an emotional vampire and manipulative), other shit from people, purely transactional. his few HS chums have moved on and have literally moved away for college/work, etc. even him friend requesting/following my friends he briefly met is pretty weird to me tbh. he leaves no impression on people. just quiet

dumb and cute is ok but dumb and cruel? dumb, cruel, and Fiscally Conservative in the least? only ambition in life being ‘affluence’ - direct quote? someone who thinks they’re unprincipled and have shit values? n o p e. i mean good riddance. if i wasn’t open with my convictions this would’ve lasted longer. and his BS about needing a ‘break,’ we’d come back with new perspectives~* because he’s in relationships ‘for the long haul’ sounded like a threat then. and warnings/threats about ‘now i have to focus on my work/passions’ (gimme a break what other obligations do u have in life, when do u not focus on urself, an excuse to not pay attention to the person you're dating/a copout instead of breaking up tbh) are just lol

since it was my first whatever you’d call it, i guess i tried to ‘stick it out’ and i guess i also understand the perspective of someone being mistreated and emotionally abused cos you sort of hold out hope for decency and a return to the beginning, ~courting stage or w/e… oh wells. i’m doing better not knowing what he’s up to or being reminded what he looks like, should’ve unfriended/unfollowed first but i though that would be immature of me. welp should not have cared. we could never have been friends, and this wasn’t a serious relationship to begin with but i didn’t even get basic emotional respect reciprocated. i do not deserve that

ok this is more typing than i thought i’d do. i’ve been typing at my friends (hello some of you thanks for putting up with me)

and my intake interview at a mental health clinic was in the beginning of june, coordinator said it would take 4-6 weeks to find me a fit, it’s been 2 months i called a few days ago, they called back and said they’d call me by friday. but man i could’ve used a therapist these past few months lol. oh well i’m tryin

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blackandorange · 7 years

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i hope you don’t mind but i’m gonna rant a bit here cause i need to get this off my chest!! firstly, i just wanna say the hq!! fandom is probably one of the best fandoms i’ve been in for a few years now and i’m v happy in it, but the length this fandom goes to either paint oikawa to be the devil himself, or a literal angel who’s done no wrong is amazing. like, he is probably one of THE most complex characters in hq!! too, and making him out to be either good or bad just ruins everything about his characters that makes him so great in the first place.

(before i go on, i want to mention, the post that made me mad enough to type this went something like “here’s a list of all the reasons why oiks is perfect and good, but nooo keep calling him mean n petty” and basically just overlooked how shitty he treated kageyama, and ushijima (to a degree since ushi did retaliate in his own kinda way but that’s a whole different story and tbh, i could write a novel-length essay based on oiks relationship w/ both ushi and kags hahah).

On the other hand, the amount of posts just villainising him (mostly either new ppl to the fandom who don’t really know his character, or shiratorizawa fans in my experience tho i won’t say they are the only ones who do it cause i don’t want to generalise or anything) absolutely astounds me, so the aforementioned post just pushed me over the edge.

I won’t post a link to the post bc I don’t want to start anything, bc in the end Oikawa is just a fictional character, but I thought this was worth mentioning bc i do reference little pieces of this post, below.)

Okay, continuing on w/ the rest of Oik’s character analysis.

on one hand, he is extremely hard-working and dedicated to his goals, and he is loyal af to his teammates, but on the other, he’s so petty and spiteful, and prideful and while having pride isn’t necessarily a bad thing, having too much pride is. And what’s more is both of these sides of him can be clearly seen within the manga/anime so to ignore one side is just confusing as hell to me.

An example highlighting the negative side of his personality would be his canon relationship with Ushijima. From what i can gather from both the manga and the anime, there are two main reasons why Oikawa really doesn’t like Ushijima; the first would be simply because he always lost to Ushijima i.e. he’s a sore loser, but let me elaborate on this since it’s a bit more complicated. Since he is so dedicated and hard-working, it definitely hurt him a lot that he never won and that is both fair, and expected but A) Ushijima didn’t win just to spite/be mean to Oikawa, he won bc that is the logical thing to do (why tf would u play a sport where u don’t want to win); and B) in canon, it is never stated (and def correct me if i’m wrong here) that Ushijima did not work just as hard to get as good as he is so saying he doesn’t deserve to win is hypocritical af (also, i don’t think he was said to be a genius like Kags or Noya but i might be wrong on this again so take this with a pinch of salt). And so, bc one of the reasons why he dislikes Ushijima is just simply bc he keeps on losing to him, it kinda makes him a petty asshole.

However, the second reason why he dislikes Ushijima highlights the better side of his personality, mainly how loyal he is towards his team, and that reason is bc of what Ushijima says to Oikawa about his choice of school, and the strength of his teammates (despite the fact that Ushi wasn’t intending to be mean - nonetheless, he did offend/insult Oikawa AND stick his nose where it didn’t belong but this is another thing entirely, so i won’t get into that rn). The best (and only, i think) example of this is Season 2 Ep 25 where Ushijima says to Oikawa that he chose the wrong path, to which Oikawa defended both himself and his team by saying that he did not choose the wrong path and that his volleyball career isn’t over just because he never won and went to nationals. This clearly shows both his resilient nature, knowing that just bc he never went to nationals in high school, doesn’t mean that his vball career is over; and his loyal nature, towards his team as he doesn’t blame them for being the reason why he never went to nationals (despite this being an easy option), and instead feels pride (the good kind) towards his team, and the effort they had made.

Season 2 Ep 25/Chapter 148)

Despite this Oikawa still acts shitty towards people he doesn’t like. A point that was made in the aforementioned post that made me mad, was that, how Oikawa treated Kageyama had little to no effect on him (Kags) later, and that Oikawa felt some sort of remorse towards Kageyama after almost physically attacking him. (And while i must agree that the post did have a few good points highlighting the good sides of his personality, I don’t agree with this point). It is shown multiple times throughout both the anime and the manga, that Kageyama both doesn’t like, and somewhat fears Oikawa and while this is partially due to his skill as a setter, another reason why, is how Oikawa treated him in middle school. If he were intimidated by other setters purely by their skill level and their experiences as a setter, he would not be so intently interested in Kenma back in Season 1 Ep 13/Chapter, or would not be as jealous as he was when he heard Tsukishima had trained with Akaashi (I can’t exactly remember nor find where this was, but I think it was during either the Karasuno VS Seijoh match in Season 2, or the Karasuno VS Shiratorizawa match); but as he not intimidated by them, it shows that there is something else about Oikawa that unnerves him, and that is Oikawa’s personality and how he treated/treats Kageyama. Kageyama even said himself during the Shiratorizawa match in Ep 2 that Oikawa is the only person who scares him. To have such an effect on a person, that Oikawa has on Kageyama shows just how dreadfully Oikawa treated him in middle school and how that effect still lingers despite Kageyama and Oikawa having little contact with each other.

(Season 1 Ep 11/Chapter 27)

(Season 1 Ep 13/Chapter 34)

However, Oikawa slightly redeems himself with another example that draws attention to the better side of his personality, and that can be seen when Kags asked Oikawa for advice during Season 2, Ep 6, and Oikawa actually did give Kageyama some very helpful advice (albeit in a less than polite manner, but still give credit where credit is due). From this, it’s very obvious to see how much he has matured during high school because he would NOT have done that during middle school looking at how he treated kageyama back then. This means that he has grown enough as a person to recognise the immature nature of his actions and change them accordingly.

(Season 2 Ep 6/Chapter 83)

(can we also just stop and appreciate how pretty oiks looks in that last panel?)

So i think that trying to portray Oikawa as someone who is either villainous (bc of how he treats/treated kageyama and ushijima) or angelic/a victim (bc of how the fandom or ushijima(again) treats him) kinda just, diminishes everything that makes him such a great character in the first place, and that just makes me really mad tbh.

Oikawa just deserves so much better than how a significant percentage of the fandom portrays him :/

( sorry if some parts don’t make much sense!! >.< this is the first time i’ve actually written a character analysis thingy like this so my thoughts might be everywhere^^)

this post has been submitted by @tooruinspace.

#character analysis #oikawa tooru #this was already too long for me to add my thoughts on this too #submission

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