#I’m getting to know myself better

[extreme-neutral]

Dad and the dog meme

Reference image

Bonus under cut

don't worry, I left the old man mustache to keep him company

#If it was done before - don't tell me #I was so proud of myself for coming up with this #and so giggly when making it #i don't wanna know until monday. #my art #fhr #fhr Steel #Wei Chen #Sidestep #Cyrus Becker #ricardo ortega #fhr spoon #steelstep #dad and the dog meme #btw I’m getting better #with this silly-sketch-an-hour-tops thing #Only took me a whole evening this time!

[i-am-l-ananas]

just because your peers are reaching “life milestones” before you doesn’t mean you’re falling behind in life. You’re not behind in life. You’re not you’re not you’re not you’re not and maybe someday you’ll believe it

#one of those nights folks! #I know when and if a person reaches so called life milestones is arbitrary!!! But why am I so behind??? #it’s just. more people I grew up with are getting married and having kids #I don’t even think I want kids!! #it’s just that it goes along with them having the relationships and stability to do so!! #and I’m envious of that! #and it’s pathetic that I still blame all the bullying I went through for my lack of relationships when I know it’s really my own fault #for not bettering myself and going out and meeting people and instead waiting for a future where I’m no longer disgusted with my body #ack sorry if you opened the tags only to be slapped in the face with vent #it be like this sometimes

[smoak-luthor]

I’m finally watching The 100 ~yes it’s a bit late I know but when Clexa was a thing I still thought I was straight so I kinda didn’t care about them. But a few weeks ago I was talking to a friend and she said I should watch it cause it’s part of the “sapphic culture” .. 😅

I have to admit overall the show is way better than I thought it would be but today I watched the episode that Lexa died. GOD IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING. Of course I knew she would die but the way they decided to kill her was so stupid. A stray bullet?! Really?!? I thought she was going to die in battle or something!!! Lexa had so much potential and she’s more interesting than like 90% of the characters! And I love her relationship with Clarke. It made me so upset that they didn’t have more scenes together.. Did they really killed her just for shock value? Is that one of the reasons why people were so mad when it happened?

ANYWAYS

I have so much to talk about this show but it’s 2024 and I’m pretty sure no one gives a fuck anymore.. 😅

#Clexa #The 100 #can’t believe I’m actually invested in this show #why am I doing that to myself?!?! #the show is stil interesting now but I know it’s going to get worse #and I hate most of the main characters I was hoping they would get better #why the ‘sky people’ are so fucking dumb??? #also #the AI/City of lights plot reallyyy annoys me #no one is going to read this but I really needed to rant 😅

[pallanophblargh]

I’m gonna have to accept my brain may always be soup at this point. But it beats feeling tortured all the time?

Anyway, pointless tattoo plotting. For myself. I don’t think it’s wise to consider what is basically an upper arm sleeve for my first, but it’s fantasy land if it’s just in the sketchbook and honestly? Anything to kick at the art block.

It’s all birds: blue Jay and Baltimore oriole, with fresh spring green ash leaves and an autumnal red oak. And maybe a hexagon in there somewhere, I can’t sort that out.

Anyway, this would encapsulate a lot of my favorite things in one go. All that’s missing is bugs! And a loon and pines, but that’s going on the other arm!

Maybe it’s futile to say this, but this humble scribble is for my use only.

#sketchbook #birds #wings #blue Jay #Baltimore oriole #favorite colors seasons trees etc all checked! #I had some wholesome moments with my parents when we went looking for orioles around my birthday this year #we found several so I’m giving them more positive associations #also they’re orange and beautiful what’s not to love? #green ash as a sad tribute to an icon I’ve resonated with since I was very young #red oak because blue jays and your stereotypical symbol of strength and perseverance #always loved the intelligence and beauty of blue jays I think they may have been my spark bird at a very young age #a messy sketch but it’s better than a whole lot of nothing #y’all I don’t even know where to begin with which bugs and where! #im getting ahead of myself #as usual!

[cupiidzbow]

I am literally over the moon rn TYSM @lovebugexe FOR THIS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL COMMISSION. U SHOULD COMMISSION BEA IMMEDIATELY. like im soso happy best day of my life 🥹🫶🏽💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#IM SO INSANE U DREW HIM SO CUTIE PIEEEE IM SO OBSESSED….. #I wanted to get a treat for myself for the holdiays and this was even better than I could even imagine ….. WAAHAHSSHSHSHGSGS BITES MY FIST #I’m literally so happy …… I don’t even know what to do rn I cannot stop smiling 😭😭😭😭 #LITERALLY COMMISSION BEA RN THEIR ART IS SO CUTE …….. #THANK U SOSO MUCH ONCE AGAIN AUGGHHHHGGH FALLS TO THE FLOOR GRIPPING MY HEAD #self ship #self shipping #bipoc self ship #🦍🏄‍♂️🌊 #gifts! 🎁 #FAVE #ULT FAVE

[theswedishpajas]

[Mii Maker Music]

!!Find the palette in this thread!!

#my art stuff #beetlejuice #cartoon #toonjuice #digital art #bugs #emoji #I made my own brush for the bugs so I can use them in the future #I’m trying to make art more enjoyable for myself and that means making it much less complicated and take less time #so I’m hoping to use this brush more in the future when drawing beej #or things in general #I’m getting better at lightning the weight I put on myself with my art #but it’s an upphills battle and I am STRUGGLING #I’ve been using this eene inker randomly for a while now and it’s making art so much easier to do for me somehow #but it looks so disgusting in my art. not cus it’s an ugly brush. I think it’s really nice-looking actually #but I have such a strong need for all my art to look clean and for every line to be intentionally put where it is #I have a tendancy to go in and fix singular pixels in EVERYTHING when I draw. even if just to make it intentionally look unintentional #but this brush does it on it’s own and I haven’t felt this relaxed while making digital art in MANY years and it’s STRESSING ME OUT #but it’s good that I can relax. That’s the goal. I want to be able to rnjoy drawing again. #The biggest hurdle is my autism hating change but once I’m past that I know I’ll be right as rain #in the meantime I hope people can still enjoy what little stuff I mannage to crank out randomly #also don’t ask me what the style is. my hand just went off with the “whatever just get it down real quick” mentality #I really need to draw the sweetheart more… I say when he is all I draw besides myself anymore-

[sprout-fics]

Google search: How to make fanfiction fun again

#I’m probably just hormonal or something stupid #but I’ve been getting really depressed about this blog recently and I’ve been thinking more and more about deleting and starting over #or leaving it as an archive and abandoning it #I get so stressed about posting and nervous about interactions and it’s ruining the experience for me #and I know it’s my fault because I’m just fucked up and in need of so much more therapy than I currently have #but at this point I’m forcing myself to have fun in here #it’s not coming naturally #and I have a really really hard time letting go of things that once brought me joy #so I’m kind of hanging on hoping things will get better but they aren’t #I’m not making any decisions yet #but I am going to start backing up my stuff and crossposting to ao3 so it’s all there too #and I’m sure someone is going to come and tell me this is the wrong reaction #so I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

I've been thinkin' too many thoughts about the clones recently...anyways...

If it had never been acknowledged in universe…I think I might’ve been able to ignore how unbelievably fucked up the whole clone army concept is

I might’ve been able to accept it as just a convenient plot point for the republic to have an army to use

That’s what most stories do…they use a faceless army of “disposable” soldiers so that viewers don’t get too upset when so many die in battles

It’s what keeps those stories from feeling too dark

Hell, the stormtroopers from the OT are one of the most famous examples of that

But the thing is…it is acknowledged in universe

Multiple characters on multiple occasions have pointed the fucked-up-ness of it all

Even Obi-Wan in the AOTC novel is kinda horrified at the concept when he sees the clones for the first time

And it’s soooo hard to look past that

Especially with the jedi…I find it so hard to accept that the jedi are able to just ignore and accept it once the army proves to be useful

And like, yeah, when I look at star wars as a whole I understand that a lot of inconsistencies like this are just an inevitability with massive franchises

But it gets super frustrating to hold onto my suspension of disbelief capabilities when these problems are literally mentioned to and acknowledged by the jedi

Especially because I mostly love the jedi

#I just have to remember that ‘just because’ is a perfectly okay reason for stuff in fiction #that not every thing that happens can be completely rational or else there wouldn’t be a story #If I don’t then I’ll constantly be getting in my own way #stopping myself from enjoying things that are supposed to be fun #Anyways I’m gonna go back to watching tcw now #and gaslight myself into believing that the clones have rights so I can keep supporting the jedi :) #but like seriously #millions of SENTIENT HUMAN BEINGS being engineered and grown in a lab #with the specific purpose of fighting in a war that they have absolutely ZERO say in #and the reason they’re seen as better than the NON SENTIENT droids is because they can think creatively #aka THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR OWN MINDS AND THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS #and they literally have no choice but to fight in this war #not okay #at all #okay I'm gonna stop now or I'll lose my mind #btw I know the jedi weren't responsible for all that #but for the most part they were okay with and/or ignored that whole clones have no autonomy thing #:/ #star wars #sw the clone wars #the clone wars #sw clones #sw gar #kamino #aotc #attack of the clones #obi wan kenobi #stormtroopers #clone troopers #jedi

[figofswords]

anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already

#the problem is. actually there are several problems #1) I’ve been out of the Batman/dc comics phase for almost a year so I don’t care that much about the topic #2) I am fifteen pages in and have not touched it in months so I’ve completely lost my train of thought #3) I can’t just reread it because I hate first five pages or so and I know I need to change it but I was trying to finish before editing #so now my only solution is I need to open up a new doc and completely restructure the whole thing by splicing together the existing writing #so that I can figure out where the hell im going with this and make sure things fit together better #unfortunately that sounds fucking exhausting #but I told my mentor I would have an update for him by the end of the week and. well. it’s the end of the week #I have to present it in April. I have to write and submit an abstract in March #the school gave me $1500 for this stupid essay and if I don’t have anything to show for myself. #well. I don’t know they can’t take the money BACK but it’s not a good look #and also I would feel bad #I did the research!!! i interviewed comic writers even!!! I just haven’t finished WRITING IT DOWN #and I KNOOOOWW once I get started it’ll be fine once I’m going I’m going #but STARTING is hard because I feel like I have to finish it in one go which makes it so huge and daunting #I’m like. slamming my head into a wall. just write a couple sentences Jess something is better than nothing #just start it you don’t have to finish just START just MAKE the new DOC #I know!!!!! that is what my therapist would say!!!! Jess you’re trying to oneshot it bc of your dumb adhd brain!!!! #stop looking at it like that and making it scarier!!! #but even tho I know that logically I’m still like oh I should put away the dishes o should make bread #I should work on my six different art pieces I should do laundry i should play with the puppy I should go for a walk I sh

[taakitz]

sorry this is random as fuck but. does any1 have any advice (or reading recs) for drawing with less expectations/pressure on yourself? like. advice on how to just enjoying the act of making art vs. drawing with the final product in mind?? how do i enjoy art again.

#i haven’t drawn in a month maybe two #i just get so Scared (for lack of a better word) over something i should Enjoy #i have been talking to my therapist about this and it helps for suresies but i feel i need insight from ppl who have Been Thru This #being an artist is such an integral part of my identity and i hate that i’ve put all of these expectations onto myself cause of it ): #i don’t know how to love making art if the art isn’t a perfect finished piece. #i know people always say ‘make bad art!!!!!’ but i don’t know how to learn to enjoy making bad art? #and i can’t slog through smth i don’t enjoy at least a little (adhd) #and i just. i want to love making art again. #like when i was in elementary and middle school just drawing in a lined notebook no expectations just drawin pokemon and animals #idk. i’m not that upset i just needed to get these thoughts out before i go to work #‘i’m not that upset’ (<<< he is lying)

[starbuck]

with respect to myself, this whole “i need to wait till i’m out of school to date,” “i need to wait till i’m more historically, politically, and culturally educated to date” is all bullshit. it’s the top surgery. that’s the holdup. they chop these tits off and i’m ready to go.

#for the record - i still think that those first two things are the WISEST course of action #but i’m just saying that i don’t think anyone could hold me back if the opportunity arises #because the top surgery thing is my real hangup #because that would be a LOT to go through with someone in a new relationship and i would rather Not #so it’s better to wait #and i have a feeling that MY confidence will increase a ton in the aftermath as well #i’ll FINALLY be able to dress how i want holy SHIT #no more needless layering and strategically shapeless flannels #thank GOD #and in the meantime i’ll just keep trying to learn as much as i can on the way there! #so that i’m as prepared as possible whenever the moment comes along #i’m really working on not being mean to myself about not knowing things #nobody comes into the world with this knowledge #and i was not given the resources growing up that encouraged me to learn these things #just because some people had parents or friends who introduced them to things when they were younger or grew up in cultural centers #doesn’t make them cooler or better than me #i am educating myself now and that is what is important #i enjoy learning and that is what is important #i WILL become my ideal self one day - i am getting better #i am not perfect - i am still fucking up a ton and insecure and stretching myself to the absolute limit #which is why it is probably NOT a good idea to date right now!!!!!! #but who knows… i’ll just go where the road takes me #and see how that works out

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

#my art stuff #digital art #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle” #I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style #but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!! #I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism #cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever #constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal #you know how it is 😔 #I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff - #- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it #which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance #I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead #it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong” #at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards #man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether #either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something #being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff #don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes #tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me #i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure

[hella1975]

SHE’S ON THE MOVE 🫶🏼

#asked the nice Airbnb lady the best way to Heathrow and it was NOT like the route I’d given myself at all #like yes the local is obvs gonna know a better route and I am taking her word at the end of the day #but I’m currently waiting for a bus to some random fuck off tube station when my own plan saw me just cruising along #to paddington and then getting the elizabeth line #oh well beggars can’t be choosers ❤️ london scares me i am just a rural girlie ❤️ #wish me luck on this stupid as shit bus ig #rwbt 2.0

[rintoki]

genuinely wondering why some players play genshin if not for fun… like it’s literally a game it’s not that serious….

#for context #sometimes i coop the azdaha domain for fun #and like most times people play like … normally ? i guess you can say #but sometimes you run into those AR 60 long time players or those like east asian whales #u know what i mean #and like they’re obviously cooping this domain for fun like do u rlly think they need help ☠️ #so sometimes they bring low level characters ir even lvl 1 characters #bc why the fuck not u play every character in the game enough times they get boring so u play a character u never play #even if it’s like lvl 1 #which is besides the point #bc this persons level c6 diluc has better stats than like 70% of the genshin playerbase #like i went to check this person diluc #has 2k atk 60/160~% cr/cdmg #like also even if the diluc has ASS dmg #it doesn’t matter bc there’s literally 3 other people in a coop domain #you telling me you’re not confident enough in your builds to solo this giant lizard #me personally i know any of my dps’s solo this domain any day #unless i’m playing healer or support #idc if the whole fucking team dies bc i know i can do it myself #this girl rlly was like ‘level 1 diluc’ #and just holding us hostage in character select #like BRUH JUST STFU AND PLAY DUDE #so i reply why does it matter this is for fun #and she goes #do you think this is fun? #THIS IS A GAME ???????? #WHY ARE YOU PLAYING IF NOT FOR FUN 😭😭😭 #even if we fail the challenge we can just play again??? #i fucking swear genshin players (derogatory) #delete later