#I’m actually so exhausted it hurts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

little-emerald-snake · 3 months

Text

A check in / posting update

Hello friends, I apologize in advance because this may be a bit of a ramble.

As many of you know, I’ve been on an aggressive posting schedule since October. While it’s been an incredible push to grow as a writer and a challenge to my ADHD to retain a strict schedule I must admit it’s really been stressful behind the scenes.

I’ve recently transitioned into a new full time job (yay better pay and paid benefits) and will be starting school in the fall. That being said, something time wise has to give.

Hang on though, just because I won’t be sticking to a direct posting schedule doesn’t mean I will disappear entirely or stop writing. I still have some requests I’d like to work on as well as some extra ideas I really want to get out there.

All this means is my posting may be a bit sporadic. I’ll still be active and I’ll still take requests as well as post my own ideas. I just need a bit more time in my day for other things. (Like my real actual life. Crazy, I know.)

This also is to help me have the time to make a longer chaptered work I’ve had sitting in my brain and my drafts for ages now.

I really endlessly appreciate all the love and support sent my way and if I could I’d thank each and every single one of you personally for supporting my 4 month writing binge, I would.

As a finale for my insane writing stint. I have one final work set to post tomorrow and that will be the last of my January posts.

Much love, Sylvie 💕

#personal #hogwarts legacy #writing #I’m actually so exhausted it hurts

16 notes · View notes

shokupanko · 2 hours

Text

Happy 10th anniversary to the most handsome lady ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

13 notes · View notes

mochiwrites · 2 months

Text

blegh

#delete later #this is me just yelling into the void for a moment #but god I think I need to look into doing smth about my meds #:))) been on a steady mental health decline since at LEAST august #and it’s only gotten worse since the new year started cries #I’m trying to do homework and I can’t even focus on it #struggling so bad #but I don’t. trust anyone to actually talk and I’ve been pulling closer to myself #so I just bury myself in school and writing and distractions (there aren’t many)#I don’t know I think I’m tired #really tired of how things have been #how alone I feel #life has genuinely felt exhausting lately #all of my relationships feel so superficial with the exception of like. a small few #I want deeper connections but lately I feel like I’m just not built for friendship #it really feels like I’m just not supposed to have friends because I’m not a good one or I’m not a good person and I just Exist #in loneliness #and that hurts SO bad #can it please get better already #please #between online and irl I am at my limit T-T #ANYWAYS. back to being productive and doing stuff

11 notes · View notes

tonariofjananda · 1 year

Text

I think about this moment a lot.

Like. It feels really rude that Fushi’s just brushing Tonari off like this, jerking his hand away as if he’s annoyed she even tried to touch him in the first place. The fact that we don’t even see his expression when he does this makes it feel extra brutal. But I think a lot of people see this scene as if Fushi rejecting Tonari’s ‘advances,’ so to speak, and I’m not convinced that’s what’s happening here.

Like, yeah we see that big love bubble at the corner of the panel while she’s telling Fushi how important he is to her, but Tonari’s just reflected on how she feels about him and ultimately rejected her own feelings. Romantic love is not something she wants to feel for Fushi. So I don’t think she was working her way up to a confession. At least, not intentionally (it’s not her fault Fushi’s an empath)!

Instead I think this scene is supposed to be a parallel of the moment that happens between Gugu and Rean.

Gugu doesn’t tear his hand away from Rean’s because he doesn’t want to hear her confession. He isn’t running away because he doesn’t love her back. Gugu pulls away from Rean because he’s rejecting the concern she has for him and his safety. He realizes there’s something greater that he needs to focus on, something he feels only he‘s strong enough to take care of. And he wants to take care of it to keep her and the people he loves safe. Gugu loves her, it’s just not the right time for him to indulge in it.

In my opinion Fushi feels similarly to Gugu (not the reciprocation part though). He appreciates Tonari’s concern and love for him- that’s why he smiles a little and thanks her- but it’s not the right time for him to indulge in that. He‘s still trying to prove that the world is at peace (something he’s doing because of her, for her), he doesn’t need or want her getting involved in his fight against the nokkers.

I wanna reemphasize that I’m not trying to argue that Fushi secretly reciprocates Tonari’s romantic feelings- he’s already said he’s never felt that way about anyone before. I just don’t think he’s outright rejecting them either.

I think the hands in this scene are also what get people thinking this scene is a little more romantic than it is. It’s a standard cliche where one character stops another from leaving after all lmao. But this to me is what solidifies this as a scene that’s not inherently romantic.

Them grabbing at each other like this is a much older, a much deeper thing for them. Back when they were on Jananda, they’d often grab at each other’s wrists because they could never quite see eye to eye. Tonari specifically would grab at Fushi’s wrists a lot when trying to impose her will on him and drag him along. Once they start understanding each other, however, their hands actually touch (ex. Tonari pressing Oopa’s blow dart to the back of Fushi’s hand).

This scene is a little mix of the two. Tonari’s grabbing Fushi’s wrist to stop him from leaving (imposing her will on him) but her hand overlaps with his palm a little (trying to understand him). Tonari doesn’t know what’s happening completely, but she knows enough to know something’s wrong. In a way, Tonari grabbing for his hand is her appealing to Fushi to open up, to let her in, follow through on this connection that’s always been theirs.

But he doesn’t. Fushi rejects it.

I think the chapter image shows it all pretty well too. They’re both reaching out for each other. But while Tonari’s solid in her attempts to reach him, Fushi's all fuzzy. It's as if these are his emotions. Like, subconsciously he wants to reach out, but he can't. So close, yet so far…

#TYE Spoilers #Nova Rambles #Fushi #Tonari #Tonari of Jananda #ToFu #To Your Eternity #Fumetsu No Anata E #To You The Immortal #I have no clue if this makes sense I’m actually exhausted and spent the last few hours typing this out #i was supposed to post some art today actually #but I’ve had these thoughts for so long that I just kind of needed to get them out #it drives me nuts how nobody ever points out the GuguRean parallels between these two when I feel like they’re Right. There #Like. I feel like it romance codes them a little #i want to clarify I DONT THINK FUSHI LOVES TONARI ROMANTICALLY #they’re just like. Romance Coded. Oima ships it a little 🤏#but will she ever make them canon? I don’t think so. Her Silent Voice protags were hunted to have romantic feelings for each other #but I don’t think Oima ever actually paired them up. so I wouldn’t be surprised if Tonari and Fushi just never become a thing #that’s not what TYE is about anyway so I wouldn’t be too upset #ive said it before I’m more interested in them in terms of Tonari’s one sided emotions anyway so I’m Ok (even if it hurts 😔)#… or who knows maybe after that 500 year timeskip we’ll find out Fushi and Tonari started dating for some reason LMAO #that’d be so cursed #…. sigh. i guess i shouldn’t rule it out tho. weirder things have happened in this damn series #Anyway.#Goodnight. I’ll post the art later 🥱#if you’ve read this far omg im so sorry

38 notes · View notes

augustinewrites · 6 months

Note

mourning like a victorian widow IM IN SO MUCH PAIN BCOS OF HIM

lies down and tries not to cry

cries

#[💌—inbox]#IM SO UPSET ACTUALLY #HIS FINAL SCENE 😭#THE TRANSITION FROM THE CONTENT LOOK ON HIS FACE #TO HIM IN SO MUCH PAIN AND JUST EXHAUSTED #IT HURT ME SO BAD ACTUALLY #i wish he’d just turned around and gone to shoko #but i know it’s not in his character to walk away from people who need protecting #i’m crying #jjk spoilers

11 notes · View notes

jocelynships · 1 month

Text

I totally didn’t cry over the fact the X-Men aren’t real last night before bed haha who does that

It’s me. I do that.

#in my defense this has been such a shit week at work #and I’m like. barely hanging on with everything rn #I gotta get through today but idk if I have the strength #and I just want my family rn #rewatching WAXTM and then X-Men 97 finally coming out just. reminded me how much I love these guys #and god infucking missed them #however it just reminds me how much it hurts that they aren’t real tho #anyways I was gonna go hang out in the parks tomorrow but uh #out of state spring breakers are coming #so it’s probably gonna be too busy #and I’m just physically and mentally exhausted #I think I’m just gonna stay home and work on commissions #to the people I owe art I promise it’s coming I’m working on things a lot slower than I’d like #and I feel terrible about it tbh #work has just been sucking me dry and I have no energy #I haven’t even been drawing for myself #anyways. I promise I’m working on stuff I just need actual energy and not to sleep all fucking day

6 notes · View notes

planetsallalign · 1 year

Text

Last night was our office holiday party. I drank too much, danced all night and didn’t go to bed till 3:30am. I am too old for it so today I’m just a video game playing pile of mush.

#no hangover somehow and I can’t believe it #but I’m so exhausted and my whole body hurts from the hours and hours of dancing #but it was so much fun and I didn’t do anything I’d regret or feel embarrassed about which seems to happen to someone every year 😂#I also felt like I looked really good in my sparkly dress with actual make up on

28 notes · View notes

tracle0 · 1 year

Text

Girl are you telling me, all this time, I should’ve been writing something else????

#Writing #Am writing #My writing #writerblr #spilled ink #Prophet wip #So I’ve been trying at TCD for perhaps a year and a half now and have been unable to get anywhere with it physically #I have a good plan and steps to take to execute it but I have completely burnt any desire to write it out of myself through exhaustion #The other night I was like haha let’s just give this a go and it just POURED out #Fucking. MMMMMM.#I am fully expecting to reread parts and hate them very soon. But for now I am just !!!!!#So this story opens with my lad Cain getting possessed. The thing tries for a hostile takeover first - burn him out of his own mind #And then Cain is like actually that’s not cool don’t do that and the thing is like oh my bad okay #And just slivers into his mind to twitch and tweak him from there. Which works. Sucks to be him #It’s a story about brothers and hurt and religious pain carried by one guy #Cain is gonna try and break every statue the gods have as their grave. Theo is gonna try and stop him #Not because Theo particularly cares for the gods (although Raya does) but because that’s his brother and he’s running himself into #the ground and something is very clearly wrong #I have no idea what I’m doing for a lot of it. But I also have a rough enough idea that I can use that and improvise on the way #Which is something that has worked for me very well previously #I give TCD a kissy on its head and lay it down to sleep for a while. I shouldn’t have tried to start you so soon #I can only hope I can recover something out of you because god I want to write it so badly #Okay that’s all from me thank you for reading my tag ramble. If you hear nothing else from me #Then writing is either going really well or horrifically badly #Trade-marked

40 notes · View notes

upgradebitch · 3 months

Text

this project is going to kill me

#like SO MUCHgrowth and balls and discipline is required from i who has just gotten better at leaving the house more than once a week a few #months ago but it’s good i’m just terrified of bungling it up and ihave to be so vulnerable and constantly change my mindset and perspective #and my brain hurts and my chest is TIGHT and i have to get used to making mistakes and actually learning from them and i can just taste the #finality of it all but i know that it is GOOD because i WANT these changes and i WANT to be smarter and braver #it is exhausting and terrible but i know it will be glorious if i can just PUSH. and not freeze in fear anymore #i’m still not taking medication so this is just everything coming at me raw which might not seem like a good idea but i… want to feel everyt #hing? exposure therapy in place of actual therapy because she’s on annual leave ha. as long as i know i’m doing the best i can along with #making my shifts and keeping up with people i care about inbetween and learn how to budget and looking for a probably secondhand dslr camera #for a good price on time and talking to more people than i can stand and trying not to perform while not acting like an emotionally #constipated child at the same time and #making sure i give myself time to STUDY and rest but mostly STUDY #after all this is done i’m going to apply for an adhd assessment and sleep for 3 days

2 notes · View notes

sizablelad · 4 months

Text

mmmm list need to remember

fill in assignment flow chart thingy

send birthday letter

330 reading response

BIBLE!!!!!

376 both reading responses (and others if feeling ambitious)

kiss kitty on head

make mushroom barley soup yippeeeeee

refill meds

more stamps

banking shtuff

talk to aviva about editing journal

talk to poland lady about scheduling

HUNT DOWN ULA. MAKE HER RESPOND.

love kitty with my whole heart

call anna

imma esplode. too much. and i am on crutches mid montreal winter. barf.

#my leg actually genuinely hurts every time i do more than laying around #……which is every day rn #and i finally managed to get an appointment after spending HOURS every day trying to figure out how to get one #but it’s still at the end of january #i’m so freakin. exhausted. disabled people how do you do it.#might have to straight up drop out of school if i need surgery i cannaur take it.

4 notes · View notes

cluelessbees · 7 months

Text

.

#I’m quite literally so tired of celebrities chiming in on Palestine #I just saw a post that showed noah agreeing with a TikTok video and the TikTok video #is the most anti-Arab thing I’ve ever seen #and I’m just like #I’m so fucking angry and hurt and tired #like why is this conflict so complicated just because it involves Arabs and not white peoples?#Ik we all talk about the antisemitism with this whole thing #but we need to talk about the anti arab rhetoric too #I’m so tired of being called lazy or savage or uncivilise or terrorist #like it’s actually exhausting #anyways rant over lol

3 notes · View notes

artificial-condition · 9 months

Text

Having a gap year was really great for me because it was the first time in my adult life that I was able to just sit with myself. Figure myself out. Work on myself. Even though I had been an adult for several years, I feel like I really matured in my year of nothing. I now feel much more firm in who I am, even with opposition; I have always been a big pushover, letting other people do whatever they wanted and letting my desires go to the side, but now I am much more likely to assert what I want and tell people no. I’ll just do and be without analyzing what others want or expect of me, and it’s so refreshing to let that go. People really do grow in the cracks

#my thoughts #I’ve worked on myself mentally #I feel like a fortress but not one with huge spikes and a dangerous moat to keep people out (like before when I was so afraid of people)#(because they could hurt me)#but instead I am like a fortress in that I am well built and stable and not easily knocked over #I built a little bridge over my moat that’s open on Tuesdays and Thursdays (and alternating Saturdays :D)#but also I’ve just really taken time to build habits like eating things (when I actually need to) that are sustaining #and got glasses for my eyesight to reduce headaches #finally went to the doctor and got migraine medication #went to the doctor TWICE MORE and tried different ones #made sure I got consistent sleep #learned how to balance productivity and fun so that I’m not wearing myself out to the point of dropping from exhaustion or a headache #I learned to listen to my body #I explored my sense of fashion!!!! which I didn’t think I cared too much about before!!!#(this was due to seeing fashion in the lens of my body not fitting into the things I liked therefore not thinking fashion was something for #me. but I pushed my boundaries and started wearing things that seemed fun ANYWAY and stopped caring about if it was *right* and #started thinking of it as a way to HAVE FUN and EXPRESS MYSELF)#(I *knew* that fashion was a form of self expression but I didn’t really get it until this past year.)#anyway. it’s been a good year in hindsight even though throughout it I had flashes of panic thinking I wasn’t going anywhere #but I grew in a different way sitting still than in the years I was *moving forward*#I’m ready to move now and I have new life skills to bring with me :)

3 notes · View notes

loudcycletaco · 9 months

Text

Realizing you’re a “maybe” to your “one and only” is another level of pain

#mentally unstable #mentally fucked #imma kms #not a joke #im gonna cry #bpd #im exhausted #actually bpd #I’ve never been this hurt in my entire life #i’m so done

6 notes · View notes

wormslikeme · 7 months

Text

Your boy is back at it again working himself into a flare up and still refusing to take a break because *deadlines*. I stg this project I’m working on right now might actually kill me. If you are able to please remember to take breaks and take care of yourself. Do better than me lol

#tourettes #chronic illness #tics #dysautonomia #pots #tic disorder #tourette syndrome #tourettes syndrome #personal vent #actually tourettic #flare up #im sick #i’m so exhausted #my entire body hurts so badly and there are still so many things I need to get done by Wednesday

3 notes · View notes

gamerhamlet · 8 months

Text

guhhhhh I love my solo bg3 run and character v much but my multiplayer campaign is so special to meeeee 💕 like tldr but it soothes a lot of the problems I have w dnd/forgotten realm’s writing to talk them out w others instead of slogging through them alone while writing revisions in my head

#v complex feelings about a lot of it!#not necessarily negative but it’s just… hmmm how to explain?#I’d enjoy dnd world-building/actual play shows/etc if I was able to consume more content made by other ethnic ppl…#there’s like a specific type of orientalism present in like. Every dnd product/show/book I’ve seen that gets exhausting to consume #sociopolitical writing is so western-centric and even it’s ‘criticisms’ r very…limited!#I’m not saying u gotta write a diplomacy dissertation when u write a campaign but gd would it kill bg3 to have an asian character #or write the g/thyanki better #it’s st I think a lot about as someone that write dnd stuff (running one campaign + tentatively plotting out two others)#and I regularly read wotc + dm guild + dm subreddit updates #and I’ve torn through a good portion of the 3e-5e campaign setting books + adventure modules #so this comes from a place of live as much as a place of hurt #*love #tho this is mostly just a post to shoutout how much I love jude + mei + sometimes ghost!bex

2 notes · View notes

peapod20001 · 9 months

Text

Cursed to be like, “wow joining friends discord’s sounds fun and I’ll get to meet people and see things and talk-“

But then...

✨ anxiety ✨

#random post #this isn’t really about any specific instance but just overall #like the first thought is ‘wow fun!’ and then I actually think about it and it makes my stomach hurt. idk #like. idk what it is. I’ve been asked to join a couple and my almost IMMEDIATE reaction is to decline #it took a long time just to convince MYSELF to make one for ME #also. the exhaustion of the day has suddenly been thrust upon me. so now I’m in mind and body limbo havaggwgehe #I’m jus <3 oughhhh I think about this sometimes but then the fear of not belonging kicks in #I don’t wanna be a lurker.....but I feel so out of place. idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3 notes · View notes