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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Darkwing Duck Reviews: Darkly Dawns the Duck Pts 1 and 2

It’s a Darkwing Double Feature! Just in time for his ducktales special, I take a look at the introduction of everyone’s favorite Daring Duck of Mystery. In his daring debut we meet Darkwing Duck, an egositical and attention hungry superhero who soon finds himself having to look after a feisty orphan to keep her from getting nabbed by local kingpin of crime Taurus Bulba with the help of his biggest fan. Darkwing owns the night under the cut with decades old spoilers.

Let’s Get Dangerous.. is tommorow so with that in mind i’m doing a darkwing double feature to refresh myself before the big special. So i’ll be covering both the original series pilot “Darkly Dawns the Duck” and the ducktales reboot episode “The Duck Knight Returns”. Let’s Get Dangerous Itself because I was so wiped yesterday I didn’t get the other review done and unexpectly got acess to the new episode way earlier than usual so i’d rather focus on that. Got it? Good. Let’s continue past me.

As usual with a new show a breif bit about my history with it: I watched it years ago, as a friend of mine lent me the first two discs of the season 1 dvd and never found the third one nor asked for them back, nor cared I had them. I thoughtly enjoyed it, had a great time and then it took me a decade or so to actually watch the series again due to a combination of being too stubborn to just buy the season 1 dvd again, a very darkwing move of me in hindsight, and then when disney plus meant I had all episodes at my finger tips I.. sat on them till now.. though to be fair i’ve sat on a LOT of great shows on there including the mandalorian, gargoyles and boy meets world. I have a bad tendency to procastinate, the fact this is coming out so late in the day should be a giveaway. I did read about half of volume 1 of the comic and all of volume 2, so there’s that at least. Point is this new episode finally made me decide to get off my ass and watch darkwing once again, starting with the pilot and the episodes related to the fearsome four to be ready for tomorrow to see what the differences are (Thoguh I did remember bushroot vividly, so I had that at least). Something to note before I get started talking about the pilot itself though, is the episode order for Darkwing Duck is a Darkwing Clusterfuck. Now I do understand WHY they aired this way: While some episodes do logically take place after other episodes, you can reasonably pop on just about any darkwing and watch it and enjoy it with minimal need to know what happened in previous episodes, kinda like batman the animated series oddly enough. It was also aired between two networks so on some level I get disney’s confusion here.. but on the other hand it’d take ten minutes, they clearly can call up the creator easily as Tad Stones made a cameo in ducktales 2017 we’ll get to so they could easily get a better order from the creator himself, so they really don’t have an excuse for this, or for slapping the pilot in the middle of season 1. Then again both ducktales 2017 and x-men the animated series were sort of a mess order wise when first put up, so not giving a shit about where episodes are placed for re-watching clearly is a pastime of theirs.

Now i’ve got that out of my system we can dive into the episode itself and a breif plot synopsis. Darkwing Duck is the superhero protector of St. Canard, a masked vigiliante who takes out crime but wishes he actually got fame and credit for his work. Kind of like Booster Gold but without taking endorsments or as far as we know coming from the future. He also has nothing else as shown by the fact he fights crime, does a training regimine to prepare his breakfast that’s a delight to watch then prepares to sleep. It’s an intresting concept, a hero who HAD a civlian identity once, as the rest of the series would play out, he just no longer needs it. And it’s also ahead of it’s time as batman would explore this idea both seriously with bruce wayne murderer and comedically and seriously with the lego batman movie LONG after this series aired, meaning the writers here figured out what many probably knew about batman and put it into their parody version: Batman is the real identity and Bruce is the mask. Batman only keeps his old self because the bruce id is useful to him: It keeps people away from his company, puts up a playboy facade that draws attention away from him being batman, and allows him to do various charities and what not and help honor his parents in a way that dosen’t involve swooping in and kicking people in the throat. And as seen with bruce wayne murderer when the option to throw bruce away for good came up Batman gladly took it. This is the same idea: Drake Mallard ONLY cares about crime fighting, has no friends no family, we never do find out jack about his family hopefully if there’s a full reboot series Frank and Matt fix it for their version. He has nothing, and is fine with that. He hasn’t really had a reason to care about anything else than his own glory and works alone not because it’s less efficent but because his oversized ego means he dosen’t want to share credit. IT’s an intresting start and his ego would be a defining bit of who he is and used intrestingly int he reboot but we’ll get to that there.

His life changes forever though when local crime boss Taurus Bulba unleashes his latest scheme: To steal the Ramrod, a gravity manipulating device created by the late Dr. Quackmeyer.. late because Bulba’s men killed him and were dumb enough not to get the arming code for the ramrod first a year ago. Bulba is also behind bars but in one of my faviorite gags of the episode despite the warden’s constnat gloating, Bulba has taken the “Supervillian makes jail into a base” Or “Jail is nothing to a supervillian who can easily get out trope” to ludcrious machines. He has whole meetings with his minions, keeps the ramrod once he gets his hands on it in the laundry and has a ship SHAPED LIKE HIS FACE built into his cellblock. I’ts just so over the top it’s glorious. But yeah since Bulba can’t go after it at first he sends his three goofy minons, one played by eddie “Mandark” deezen in.. love that guy.

THey do end up stealing the ramrod thanks to the help of bulba’s cool, non-anthromporhic condor who he uses as his right hand man and as his link to his minons via a small tv aroudn it’s neck. That.. is awesome. Darkwing spots the condor but fails to stop the three stooges or the condor and gets unknowingly blamed for the robbery..and stopped to get glamor shots not realizing the guy thought he was a criminla which.. fair enough. It is a shadowy disguise after all.

Darkwing ends up grabbing onto the vulture sonic 3 style, but ends up falling off him into a hangar where we meet the original version of Launchpad McQuack, whose apparently quit working for scrooge and has his own hangar now though it wouldn’t be a stretch that scrooge bought it for him.. he does , stingy as he is, appricate hard work and launchpad wanting to start his own buisness and while hte planes were probably all on launchpad, Scrooge would gladly buy a run down buliding for a loyal friend who wants to put in some hard honest work. Plus it’s a free place to store any vehicles he has in the st canard area.. I mean it’s still scrooge. And yes I know the whole “Tad stones said they aren’t the same universe” non sense. I do have the utmost respect for the guy and he seems really, nice but I don’ tlike that, no one likes that and both the comics and the current duckverse with the ducktales reboot entirely ignore that for good reason.While the two shows are diffrent in tone they stil lfit and it’s not a stretch for launchpad to want to spread his wings or failing that scrooge to help push him out of the nest and give him his own buisness or one of scrooge’s to run.

But while Launchpad does help DW with a propeller plane they fail and while launchpad offers to be his sidekick, DW gives him the old I work alone bit. However him being alone won’t last for long as Bulba still needs that arming code and since his only lead is Waddlemeyer’s grandaughter who grew up in his lab, he sends his buffonish minons to go get him. Why he never sends his lone female minon with them is because it’s funnier if she dosen’t I guess. Which it is so fair enough. So thus we enter Goslyn, who the head of the orphanage is fed up with due to her antics. Goslyn is played as most of you knwo by christine cavanagh.. I honestly forgot and it still throws me off a bit she’s using what would later be her chucky finster voice for a character so completely diffrent. Granted it’s not unusual in voice acting, just weird here and only for me personally having grown up with rugrats but not darkwing. The orphanage head is a bit less jarring as she’s played by Marcia Wallace, aka Edna Krabable from the simpsons but A) that show was already running at this point and B), the character is basically a nicer version of edna versus chuckies voice coming out of a tiny if immensly fun to watch hellion. I do like goslyn, sh’es a fun character even in her shadier moments, it’s just something i’d forgotten about i’ll need to get used to is all.

Bulba’s hired goons come in claming ot be friends of her grandpas and we actually get some really heartwrenching context for Gos’ behavior: While she does act out she actually LIKES THE orphanage.. ti’s just her friends keep getting adopted while no one wants someone “full of spirit”. It’s heartwrecnhing to hear.. and only gets worse when the goons try and kidnap her. Thankfully Darkwing.. also kidnaps her, but he kindaps her from kidnappers and while Goslyn naturally takes a second to realize he’s the good guy them shooting at him clues her in. Darkwing, in a rare for the series as a whole moment of reason and not wanting to just power though something himself TRIES to do the responsible thing and leave gos with the police where she’ll be protected.. but given they think he’s a wanted criminal they shoot at him.. and the small child in his motorcycle. Yup that’s the police alright.

So with no other options Darkwing takes gos home, hyjinks insue including her activintg the breakfast thing. But the two genuinely start to bond. While Darkwing dosen’t WANT to keep her around, the whole not wanting connections thing, it’s clear he’s growing fond of the little snot as she holds her own with his trianing course, they have a tickle fight and in the sweetest moment of the episode the two sing little girl blue, a song her grandfather used to sing her to sleep that she teaches darkwing. It’s an utterly heartmelting bit and Cummings and Cavanagh really sell the hell out of it. It also however turns out ot be plot relevant: Turns out just in case Dr. Waddlemeyer hid the code for the ramrod in the song, and when Darkwing sees a photo Goslyn got from bulba’s goons, he realizes this and realizes that depsite thinking she didn’t know it Goslyn had it all along.. and that as long as h’es around she won’t know. Bulba is naturally livid at his minons failure and decides now’s the time to take this into his own hands and while he actually liked the prison hq setup, as it did make sense as it was the perfect cover and the warden was too full of himself to realize Bulba was still active and too convinced the bull was beaten down when he clearly wasn’t, but instead as mentioned above awesomely converts his cellblock into a flying ship in the shape of his own head. Bulba.. is a great villian and I only think the show didn’t use him more because he’s a dead serious, deadly dangerous villian in an otherwise goofy but fun superhero parody show. The show later gained Negaduck, so they had a more dangerous threat for darkwing that fit the show’s tone better while still being utterly terrifying, and likely simply didn’t need him till the idea for the steerminator came up. But I love the guy: he reminds me a lot of the kingpin, a threatning villian who uses his sheer size to beat our hero down, is cool and suave and is an utter mastermind at planning. He also wears a nice suit. And naturlaly he has a plan to take out darkwing since despite the two never having met, as Darkwing disparages when Goslyn assumes their lifelong mortal enmies like in the comics, they know of each other.. and thus bulba knows exactly what trap to spring to get him out of the way and goslyn into his ship: He flashes a message in morris code that he wants to surrender to Darkwing while stroking his ego a LOT. And it works... while i’ts an obvious trap Darkwing’s so full of himself he goes despite Goslyn telling him it’s very obviously a trap. Naturally everything goes pear shaped as a result: Bulba shows up, revealing gos not only to be right but easily pummling Darkwing. Which makes sense: While Darkwing is a vetran crime fighter and secret agent, Bulba’s been at being a villian longer clearly as he’s built up enough of a rep both for Darkwing to know him out of hand and for the warden to be proud capturing him. Given what univese this is, it probably isn’t Bulba’s first round with a superhero and given at this stage St Canard only has one.. yeah Darkwing is outclasssed and the police grab him while Bulba scarpers. And while Gos puts up a good fight using the trianing course, Bulba’s vulture gets her. Bulba has everything he needs. Darkwing meanwhile actually bemoans what a dick he’s been, that the first person he’s cared about besides himself in possibly ever is now in the hands of a murderous mastermind, and that he’s stuck in jail with no one to call on for help. Thankfully.. help arrives.. and by help I mean launchpad backing the ratcatcher, Darkwing’s bike, into the prisoin. He DID come just to bail DW out despite his earlier jerkishness, but backed in and Darkwing not beliving superheroes have time for paperwork, decides to just bust out. And to be ifair int his case he’s probably right as you know, a ten year old might die if they don’t get there in time. So off they go.. but with Bulba in the air they need something with wings to catch him. ANd luckily as Launchpad mentioned earlier he’s been working on something special for darkwing. It’s with this we enter the thunderquack, which is DW”S awesome headshaped plane. It’s just cool it’s got a nice design, goofy enough tof it the universe but cool enoguh to still be fun to watch. Darkwing has really damn cool vehicles, as the ratcatcher is also awesomely iconic. But yeah the thunderquack impresses darkwing and rightfully so and he decides to make LP his sidekick afterall. So now our heroes fly into the danger zone and attack bulba’s airship with Darkwing landing on the bow and a scuffle insues with darkwing and hte minons.. who use actual guns which for a 90′s kids show is a suprise, especially one this intentioanlly goofy, but boy is it nice. However Bulba, being awesomely evil, isn’t dumb and instead of fighting darkwing, which he could win but would win him nothing and having gotten nothing out of goslyn, figures the hero might know the code.. and while Darkwing lies and says he dosen’t, Bulba points out .. he’s right.. but he’s always been a gambling man and has his condor drop goslyn to lure drake into telling him , with DW putting in the code and bulba testing it with a bank robbery.. before predictably having his condor drop the girl because he no longer needs her. Thankfully launchpad catches her in time and then they get revenge on the condor with the thunderquack BITING IT.. which is awesome. Hopefully the reboot version does that.

Darkwing meanwhile saves the day, his new daughter and the city by simply sneaking over to the ramrod and mashign the keys till it overloads, silly, but undeniably awesome and effective. Bulba TRIES to finish off darkwing this time for foiling his plan.. btu the ramrod explodes and while bulba’s minons and goslyn and launchpad are safe... bulba and darkwing are apparently dead and it’s effective. A few weeks later Goslyn’s back at the orphanage utterly distraught and broken at being basically orphaned again. Naturally though Darkwing’s alive, having taken his old identnity back since now he has something worth using it for and adopts her, hinting at who he is so she goes with him. And Drake has changed.. sure he’ll still be as egostical and impuslive as he was here.. but he’s no longer just darkwing.. he’s drake again as he has someone worth fighting for.. two someones in fact. He has a friend, a loyal partner to help him fight cime. And more importantly.. he has a loving daughter. And both needed each other: Goslyn needed someone who understood her despite her manic energy, and Drake needed someone who needed him and not darkwing, a reason to be a person outside the cape and cowl and outside the attention again. He needed a reason to live again... and he’s got it. And it’s going to be great.

Final Thoughts: This pilot is excellent. Well paced, plenty of laughs, tense action and great introductions for everyone involved as well as a hell of a vilian> This is how you do a first episode: it introduces the main themes of the show, both comedically and dramatically, introduces the cast and gives us a one off , or rather two off it’d turn out, villian whose compelling and intresting. IT’s really damn good stuff and I can’t wait ot see what frank does with a simlar story tommorow. Until then, stay safe, and happy hallowen. We’ll be back shortly for The Duck Knight returns and then Let’s Get Dangerous tommorow.

#darkwing duck #reviews #ducktales #darkly dawns the duck #drake mallard #goslyn mallard #launchpad mcquack #tarus bulba #the disney afternoon #the 90's

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that-cunning-mind · 4 years

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The Untitled Chuckie Sputterspark Origin Fanfic Pt.1

(Guess who wrote a fanfic for the first time in years lmao...

Read below if you want to see my take on how @based-ducks and me thought up of Quackervolt fankid Chuckie Sputterspark’s origin...somewhat)

As the crisp, evening air descended upon the moonlit shadows of St. Canard, a particular purplish protector of the poor found himself investigating a case of deductive interest. A case of shadowy intrigue and mystery. A case that would decide the future of St. Canard in its epic battle between good and evil.

A case of price gouging tickets at a pizza arcade.

“Twenty dollars for an adult ticket and twelve for kids over ten years old? Why these crooked capitalist crooks, thinking they can force parents to come in here and charge them extra! I should just quit SHUSH and open up one of these places myself! I’ll be richer than Glomgold!” Part-time superhero and full-time parent Drake Mallard grumbled under his breath as he handed over his card to the tired teenager manning the cashier. His daughter, Gosalyn, was busy putting on the paper bracelets on herself and her other father, Launchpad McQuack.

“It can’t be that profitable,” Gosalyn said, “I mean, they’re taking out all of their animatronics! Can you imagine Pepper Panda’s Pizza Pagoda without Pepper Panda and the Pie Gang? I tell ya, there’s gonna be rioting in the streets after tonight! RIOTS!!!” Launchpad, not expecting the outburst, startled and ripped his flimsy paper bracelet.

“Eheheh,” he laughed nervously, “you guys got any tape or...”

“Ten dollars to replace any missing or broken bracelets,” said the cashier.

Launchpad turned to his husband with big puppy-dog eyes, a method that tended to work about 99% of the time. Drake grumbled some more as he took a solitary bill out of his wallet.

“If it wasn’t for our case,” Drake whispered harshly as they walked inside the pizza eatery, “I’d leave you outside in the car.”

“Aww,” Launchpad pouted, “but you know how much I love coming here! Plus, I know how much the animatronics scare you, DW.”

Drake scoffed. “Scared? The daring duck detective isn’t scared of any cheaply-made robot! Drakey Mallard, on the other hand, never recovered from that time he thought Cheddar Charles was going to bite him at Elmo Sputterspark’s tenth birthday party.” As he spoke, a run down animatronic of a child-sized rat in blue overalls and a yellow shirt sprang to life, scaring Drake into Launchpad’s arms. Gosalyn just rolled her eyes and sighed.

A crackly speaker from the animatronic known as Cheddar Charles started. “Hey kids! Pepper Panda and Pie Gang’s Nighttime Spectacular is about to start in ten minutes! Grab a seat now!”

“I’ll go grab us a table,” yelled Gosalyn as she ran to a booth.

Launchpad let Drake climb off of him, then sniffed and wiped away a tear. “I can’t believe it, after forty years the Pie Gang is going away for good!”

“Launchpad, the case? Remember the case?” asked Drake.

“Buh-“

“We’re here to stakeout the joint and lie in wait for that nefarious thief, Dr. Anna Matronic! Dishonorably discharged from the Imagineers, that raving robotics rascal will be using the Pie Gang’s farewell show to unveil her deadly creations. Little does she know that I, Darkwing Duck, will be waiting for her! Now, any questions?”

“Uhh, can we order the extra-large with cheese?”

Drake simply sighed as he moved to sit down on the sticky seat.

“Gee DW, what makes you think she’ll show up with all these people around?” asked Launchpad.

“Because, as a former Imagineer, she’ll no doubt want to watch such a historic show one last time. Although, I can’t imagine what kind of psyche an adult must have to want to watch Pepper Panda and the Pie Gang willingly.”

———

“Come on Megsy! I’m not gonna miss Pepper Panda and the Pie Gang’s final performance because of you!”

Little did Darkwing Duck know that behind the scenes, his two mortal enemies Quackerjack and Megavolt would be attempting to watch the show as well. However, they were taking a break from their usual crimes and attempting to have their monthly date night, per Quackerjack’s insistence on coming to see the last hurrah of the animatronics he grew up watching. Megavolt, meanwhile, was trying to carry leftover pizza boxes up the scaffolding over the stage as he and Quackerjack prepared to take their seats.

“You know, I think I kinda remember coming here as a kid,” said Megavolt. Quackerjack was surprised to hear this, as it was rare for Megavolt to remember anything before his fateful transformation into Megavolt. He pressed on with a simple, “Oh?”, demonstrating a rare moment of selfless interest.

“Yeah,” Megavolt continued, “I think I had a birthday party here once. Mom forced me to invite everyone in my class, so I spent most of the day playing with the animatronics. I even got Cheddar Charles to almost bite this one duck, Jake. Or was it Lake...” Megavolt trailed off as his train of thought was derailed yet again.

“You must have been quite the kid growing up, a public nuisance in the making,” laughed Quackerjack. He looked off to the side in an almost wistful manner. “Though if I was a parent, I wouldn’t force you to hang out with any snot-nosed brats that stuck their faces into an arcade game!” Megavolt twitched, deciding not to tell Quackerjack that he definitely remembered sticking his face into arcade games as a kid, one of the happiest moments in an otherwise bullied childhood.

But more importantly, Megavolt picked up on Quackerjack’s wistful tone and cursed himself internally for bringing up his childhood. “Come on Quacky,” he whined, “we’ve been through this already. We can’t just-“

“Well, so what?” interrupted Quackerjack, “It’s just not fair! Lots of kids have parents that go to jail!”

“Yeah, but their parents aren’t criminal masterminds guilty of trespassing, theft, vandalism, and littering!”

Quackerjack pouted, “You throw a banana peel on the ground one time...”

“I’m serious Quacky,” Megavolt frowned, “we can’t just bring a kid into the super-villain business! Do you want to be like Dorkwing and have a pipsqueak get in our way?”

“Need I remind you,” hissed Quackerjack, “that his pipsqueak is fully capable of handling herself?”

“Ugh,” shuddered Megavolt, “don’t. Remind. Me. I still have the bruise marks from the last hostage attempt...”

“See?! The two of us could totally take care of a kid! All a kid really needs is food, a loving home, a pocket grenade...,” Quackerjack droned on, almost forgetting the point of his argument. Megavolt had to snap him back to reality if he was ever going to finish this conversation.

“Hey don’t get me wrong, it’d be nice to have some kids that aren’t just the poor, enslaved bulbs of St. Canard,” said Megavolt. “But, don’t tell me you aren’t the tiniest bit worried of screwing the kid up?” At this, Quackerjack pursed his lips and went uncharacteristically still, not daring to look at Megavolt in the eye.

“Besides,” Megavolt continued, “what if we go to jail without it? How would a normal kid protect itself? What if F.O.W.L or Negaduck found out about them and-“

“Oh alright fine! You’ve made your point, gloomy pants!” Megavolt shut his mouth quickly, turning to get a slice of week-old pizza and hopefully move on from this talk. Quackerjack pulled out his beloved Mr. Banana Brain, in an effort to calm himself before his temper took over. “Some date night this is! I’ve seen better chemistry in a high school science lab!”

“Butt out, banana boy!” Megavolt grumbled. “Great, could this date get any worse?”

The explosion that rocked the building answered that question.

———

The duck family ducked under their table as dust filled the room, sending screaming families in a panic. A giant hole had opened up in front of the stage, and from it rose a goose in a purple trench-coat honking maliciously. This was-

“Dr. Matronic!” Drake shielded Gosalyn behind himself as Dr. Matronic climbed onto the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” she cried out, “children of all ages! To all who come to this happy place, Pepper Panda’s Pizza Pagoda is now MY Pizza Pagoda! Which means the animatronics are now mine to keep! Mwahonkhonkhonk!”

Gosalyn stuck out her tongue in disgust. “Ugh, you call that an evil laugh? A baby would sound more menacing than that!”

“Never mind that now,” said Drake, “we’ve got to get these people out of here! Launchpad, Gosalyn, evacuate the building while I keep her busy.” With a plan of action in place, the daring duck of mystery went off to find a broom closet to change in. Unfortunately, it was a very tight squeeze, as Drake tried to change and avoid the brooms at the same time.

“This night couldn’t possibly get worse...,” muttered Drake.

——

“Megavolt! That stupid doctor just ruined our date night!” Quackerjack’s temper had come out in full force, and now he was ready to let it all out.

“The nerve of some people! I mean, who breaks into a pizza parlor and steals the animatronics??” Megavolt yelled. Sparks started to fly as he locked onto the target of his ire, who was beginning to disassemble the helpless robots. “D’ohhh! Well at least it can’t get any worse.”

The blue smoke cloud that burst out answered that.

“Gah! Will you stop saying that!” shouted Quackerjack.

“I am the terror that flaps in the night!”

“I am the cheese pizza that burns on the taste buds of crime! I am Darkwing Duck!” Like clockwork, the purple caped crusader appeared out of the smoke.

“Oh no. It’s Darkwing Duck. Whatever shall I do,” said Dr. Matronic, not intimidated in the slightest. Failing to frighten his foe, Darkwing pulled out his gas gun as his mood worsened.

“Listen here doc! I may not like these rusty robots, but there’s no way I’ll let you take them away! Now suck gas, evildoer! Schpadoink!” As he shot off a canister of knockout gas, a Dalmatian puppy came out from behind Dr. Matronic and caught the canister, throwing it away from the doctor.

“What the-!”

“So,” Dr. Matronic grinned maliciously, “you don’t like rusty robots, eh? Well, I’m sure you’ll find that they have their uses!” Dr. Matronic pulled a walkie-talkie from her coat, and yelled, “Code 101: ATTACK!!”

From the crevice, a noise of barking and howling approached, growing louder and louder until from out of the hole, one hundred robotic Dalmatians came bursting out.

Darkwing gulped, hoping to hide his nervousness. “Alright, you digital dog deviants, prepare to face the might of Dark-AAAACK!!” The dogs never let him finish, immediately pouncing on Darkwing and biting everything that belonged to the flapping terror.

“WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND DALMATIANS!!!”

“Well, since you’re tied up at the moment, I might as well explain my origin story,” said Dr. Matronic as she got to work detaching the Pie Gang from the stage. “You see, those Imagineer fools said it was impossible to make one hundred and one animatronics! They said it was too expensive! That I was a lunatic! Well who’s laughing now, huh?! Mwahonkhon-AHH!”

Before the doctor could finish her evil laugh, a bolt of electricity from behind the stage curtain zapped her and sent her flying off the stage. In her hands she grasped the Cheddar Charles figurine, the remote controlling the chaotic canines flying off somewhere else.

Megavolt stepped out onto the stage, a wide manic grin on his face as his hands lit up. “Well, looks like we’re the ones laughing now, and much better at it too! Aheeheeheeheee!” With a flick of a wrist, Megavolt shot another electric bolt at the pack of piranha-like puppies, putting a stop to their attack on the poor, punctured defender in purple as they scattered off.

“Th-thanks for that...Megavolt,” Darkwing said shakily, as he attempted to stand up and not jostle his wounds at the same time. “Wait a minute, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I swear, if that lunatic toy-maker Quackerjack is here too I’ll-“

What Darkwing would do, Megavolt would never know, for at that moment Quackerjack decided to introduce himself with one of his patented exploding toys. Laughing maniacally, he took out his signature mallet as he attempted to stomp out any robot trying to attack him. Dr. Matronic began turning her attention towards the most annoying threat in the room, directing robot after robot at Quackerjack.

“What, did all the freaks decide to come out tonight?!” yelled Dr. Matronic, as she whipped out a small flamethrower aimed at Quackerjack. The jester merely giggled and blew raspberries as he dodged all of her flame attacks. Darkwing and Megavolt, however, were not as lucky, and had to hide behind an overturned table to avoid the flames.

“Oh great,” sighed Darkwing, “the cherry on top of my already lousy sundae. Could this possibly get any worse?” Megavolt let out a yipe and braced himself.

“Uhh, you alright there Mega-,” asked Darkwing, before Megavolt clasped a hand around his bill.

“Don’t say that again! The universe has been more vindictive than usual today whenever somebody says that!”

“Alright alright, I’ll stop! Now, either help get me rid of this riddle-some ridicule of our rights, or GET OUT!” Megavolt’s train of thought got back on track, his temper overtaking him as he remembered his terrible night.

“Uhh, Sparky-“ said Darkwing, before a stray bolt from Megavolt zapped him away as the electric rodent turned back to Dr. Matronic.

“YOU RUINED DATE NIGHT!!!” roared Megavolt. Darkwing was dumbfounded, for once Megavolt hadn’t responded to his hated nickname of Sparky. Dr. Matronic began to worry, as she was inexperienced against the full force of the Quackervolt duo. Darkwing stepped back, hoping to get the upper hand as the villains fought each other when who should appear but Gosalyn.

“Don’t worry Darkwing, I’ll help ya!” cried Gosalyn.

“Gosalyn, NO!” Darkwing dived towards his daughter, shielding her from the wayward flames with his cape as he caught the full brunt of the attack. Dr. Matronic took the time to gloat evilly at her fallen foe.

“Well well well, guess the Pizza Pagoda is serving roast duck tonight! MWAHAHAHAH! How’s that for an evil laugh, by the way?” In her distraction, she failed to notice Megavolt and Quackerjack charging up the remaining animatronics, bringing them back to life.

“Hey lady, ever heard of the Bite of ‘87!?” they both yelled.

“The Bite of ‘87? That’s just a-“ Dr. Matronic looked back and saw the looming, terrifying animatronics trudging towards her. She gulped.

“...Just a myth,” she finished quietly.

As the robots began their attack, Launchpad came in and helped Darkwing to his feet. “Gee DW, how’re we gonna stop those three?”

“Oww, can’t we jus’...let ‘em kill each other?” Darkwing meekly asked.

Gosalyn, guilty over her father’s second degree burns, tried to remember about any useful information pertaining to the animatronics.

“Well, I read online that old robots used to explode from time to time...” she suggested. Inspiration struck Darkwing, reaching into his pockets for a special gas canister.

“Launchpad, hand me my gas gun!” With his weapon in hand, Darkwing loaded up the canister and aimed between the animatronics. “Get behind that column,” he motioned.

Megavolt, taking a break from the action that was almost too exciting to put in words, took a side glance to see Darkwing’s fan club hiding behind a concrete column. As he wondered what was going on, the duck pulled out his gas gun and yelled, “hey Dr. Matronic, see if your pooches can stop this knockout gas!”

Darkwing shot out the canister towards the animatronics and quickly took cover. As planned, Dr. Matronic took aim with her flamethrower, unable to tell the difference between knockout gas and explosive gas.

FWOOSH!

KABAM!!

“SHPOOSH-“

“Dad! Do ya have t’ make sound effects right now?”

“Oh, right, sorry,” Darkwing sheepishly said. “Well, better make sure no one died or anything.” As the smoke dissipated, he could see Dr. Matronic knocked out on the ground, singed and certainly not triumphant. Quackerjack, who had tried to run from the explosion, was somehow still standing, albeit close to passing out at any second. Behind them, all of the animatronics were nothing more than scrap, their somewhat cute faces now melted and resembling characters in a subpar horror video game franchise.

Megavolt was nowhere to be seen.

“Uh-oh, Megavolt?” The prospect of being arrested for manslaughter began to unnerve Darkwing. “Hey Quackster, you seen your boyfriend anywhere?”

The only thing Quackerjack heard through his concussion was ‘Megavolt’, and tried to snap out of his daze as best as he could.

“Megsy! Sparky-poo, where are you!? Ooooh, I’m gonna get you for this Darkwing Duck!” But before Quackerjack could get him, the sound of police sirens could be heard in the distance.

“Mmm, but maybe not today,” said Quackerjack, and then took out Mr. Banana Brain. “Time to hit the road, Toad,” he said in a falsetto voice.

“MEGAVOLT! See you at the hideout!” And Quackerjack ran backstage, toppling over Launchpad who had attempted to catch him.

“Ah geez, sorry DW, he got away. Should we go after him?”

“Nah,” said Darkwing, “I’ve got enough on my plate with Miss Robot over here. Also I gotta make sure Megavolt didn’t explode or something,...”

“Ughhh,” groaned Dr. Matronic, “that’s DOCTOR- wait. The animatronics! What have you done to them you fiend?!” Before she could freak out entirely, the police came in, slapping handcuffs on her and leading her away.

“Why I say I say, ah-thank you Mr. Duck sir.”

The team looked back and saw a rotund rooster in a tacky pizza print suit come up to them, taking Darkwing’s hand and shaking it profusely. “I am the owner of this here establishment, Rolan N. Dough the Third, thought you may call me Mr. Dough. I must congratulate you sir on a job well done!”

“Ah-yep, yep, yep, all in a day’s work for Darkwing Duck, Mr. Dough!”

“So you’re not mad that he blew up your animatronics?” piped up Gosalyn. Darkwing hurriedly placed his hand over her bill, “Gosalyn! Ix-nay on the obot-ray! Ahaha, kids...”

“On the contrary, Mr. Duck, I’m overjoyed! Thanks to you, I’m gonna save a fortune on properly preserving those robotic freaks! And receive a rather sizable insurance check! A nice little profit for today’s events!”

Darkwing soured, remembering his distaste for the Pizza Pagoda once more. “You’re welcome, sir.”

“I simply must reward you! How does a coupon for a free pizza sound?”

Launchpad’s stomach rumbled at the sound of that. “Gee DW, can we cash it in now?”

Darkwing sighed, “Fine, fine, we’re not coming back here anytime soon.”

As Launchpad and Mr. Dough made their way to the pizza station, Darkwing crouched down to check on Gosalyn for any injuries.

“You ok?” he asked. “I mean, aside from seeing your favorite pizzeria in ruins that is?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I’m just sad the Pie Gang met their end like that.”

“Well it’s an Italian eatery owned by a Southerner themed around China, it was bound to end horribly. You gotta admit though, it was a pretty cool explosion.”

“Okay yeah, it was pretty cool. I mean the way that flamethrower just went GWOOSH and the canister was like SCHPAAAAM! Not too bad from Darkwing and his helpful sidekicks, huh?”

“Oh, that reminds me, you’re still in trouble for running in like that.”

“WHAT? Daaa-uh, I mean, Darkwiiiing!” The two walked away, preparing to stop Launchpad from spending more than $50 on pizza.

“Hmm, I feel like I’m forgetting something though,” said Darkwing.

“Ah well, I’m sure it was nothing important,” reassured Gosalyn.

———

In the subterranean hole where Dr. Matronic had come from, Megavolt had begun to regain consciousness, slowly sitting up as he willed the surroundings to stop spinning.

“Owwww, that’s it, next date night will be at the mini golf...”

From below, he could hear the faint voice of Quackerjack at hysterics, then fading away. Then he heard the shrill voice of Dr. Matronic screaming over the ruined animatronics. Megavolt perked up, remembering the explosion with clarity now.

“NO NO NO! The animatronics! Darkwing Duck and that stupid doctor lady ruined my childhood! This is worse than that reboot of my favorite movie with an all-female cast! Why I oughta-OW!!”

In his rage, Megavolt failed to notice an object in his path, and stubbed his already fragile toe against it. He was prepared to blast it to smithereens, when he noticed something familiar about the object.

Something metallic.

“Wait...it can’t be,” he muttered. He crouched down, digging through the rubble until the object was set free. It was Cheddar Charles, banged up a little but perfectly intact.

“Oh you poor thing,” Megavolt cooed, “you must’ve fallen down here after that mean old Darkwing blew us up!” He cradled the orphaned robotic mouse in his arms, feeling his paternal instinct flare up as he gently dusting the dirt off of it. A ghost of a childhood memory panged within him, recalling a time in his life when he felt safe and loved, unaware of the harsh realities of life that would face him later on.

Was it too insane to believe that he could pass that love on to something else?

He loved Quackerjack. He loved his life of lightbulb liberation. But if Megavolt was honest with himself, maybe there was something nice to the whole family concept. Maybe the idea of taking care of something and watching it grow with someone he loved seemed exciting to him. Maybe Darkwing had the right idea about having a kid sidekick-

Nope. It’d be a cold, day in Hell before Megavolt would admit to being jealous of Darkwing Duck.

He took out one of his trusty light bulbs to illuminate the scene, when an idea came to him.

“Wait a minute,” he said, “Quacky and I want a kid. This little guy doesn’t have a family anymore. That means...that means! Wait, where was I going with this?”

The Cheddar Charles let out a shock, charging up Megavolt once more.

“Oh right! Welcome to the family, new son! This is gonna turn out way better than that time I split Darkwing into two.” He took his son into his arms, already bonding with the temporarily lifeless robot.

“But ya know, Cheddar Charles is kinda long for a name. How about I call you...Chuckie!”

------

Meanwhile, on the other side of town…

“OH MY GOD,” cried out Drake Mallard, “I BLEW UP MEGAVOLT!”

#darkwing duck #quackerjack #megavolt #quackervolt #drake mallard #gosalyn mallard #launchpad mcquack #implied drakepad #my stuffs #fanfic #chuckie sputterspark #one of these oc's is actually #canon to the dwd lore #can y'all guess who it is lol #this took me way too long pfft

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mageicalwishes · 4 years

Text

Read on AO3: here

Read the previous chapter (On Tumblr): here

Summary: “I’m egging your house for a dare, but you’re parent is a cop and now they’re yelling at me, so I told them you were my ex and you wronged me, and now you’re coming outside, so please just go along with this, I really don’t want to go to jail” AU When Simon Snow agreed to egg some posho’s house, he never thought he’d find himself here - The only thing standing between himself and a criminal charge, the word of a handsome stranger.

Chapter: 4/?

Words: 3,831

Baz

SS (20:14): What are you up to anyways?

ME (20:15): Well, I was reading a book. But now I’m talking to you ... Obviously.

SS (20:15): Oh shit, sorry. I can text you l8r if you prefer. I didn’t mean to bother you.

ME (20:16): No. Don’t worry, you're not bothering me. I wanted to talk to you … You’re far more entertaining than Austen, anyway.

SS (20:16): Okay cool :D

SS (20:16): Austen? Like ... Jane Austen? Is that for school?

ME (20:17): No. Just for fun.

SS (20:18): WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?

SS (20:18): I had to read Pride and Prejudice for the GCSEs. It nearly killed me!

SS (20:19): I’ve never really been the best at reading, but that just took the piss! I swear to God, I didn’t understand like half of the words!

ME (20:20): That's understandable, to be honest. I will admit that the language can be a little 'flowery' at times. If you’re not really into reading, Austen isn’t exactly the most accessible literature. The stories are good though.

ME (20:21): Did you watch the film?

SS (20:23): Yeah, no kidding. I despised that fucking book!

SS (20:23): And, kind of. We watched, like, half of it in class, but we never finished it - Ran out of time.

ME (20:24): That’s unfortunate, it's pretty good, as far as adaptations go. I have the DVD somewhere. If I can find it, we could watch it together when you come over, if you’d like?

SS (20:24): Aw yeah defo :) That sounds good.

SS (20:24): Are you free tomorrow?

SS (20:25): Not for me to come over dw - I know you want to wait till your dad is away.

SS (20:25): If not dw. I know it’s a bit short notice. Soz.

ME (20:26): Don’t worry. I’m free, as far as I know. Why? What did you have in mind?

SS (20:26): I was wondering if you wanted to come play footie with me?

SS (20:27): Josh and Nathan are out.

SS (20:27): So it would just be us 2.

SS (20:28): If that’s okay with you? I know footie with just 2 is a bit difficult.

Pathetically, my chest surges at the sight of it … Just us two. It’s more than okay. It’s perfect.

BP (20:30): That’s okay, I’m sure it would still be fun - I’d like to come. What time were you thinking?

SS (20:30): 1:30ish. I can do later/earlier if it’s better for you tho.

BP (20:31): No, that won’t be necessary. 1:30 sounds fine.

SS (20:32): Okay good :) The pitch is a few mins away from the home. I could come and pick you up if you like? We could walk down together?

BP (20:32): Is my house on the way?

SS (20:33): Nah. Not exactly. I don’t mind tho it’ll only take, like, 15 mins more.

BP (20:34): I can just drive down to your house. There’s no need for you to go out of your way.

SS (20:34): Oh okay, sure. Sounds good :)

SS (20:34): Lazybones ;)

SS (20:34): Do you need my address?

BP (20:35): Yes, Snow. As talented as I may be, I’m not a psychic.

SS (20:35): Aha lol. Bigheaded much?

SS (20:36): I live on Pallot Road. Number 61.

SS (20:36): Do you know where it is?

SS (20:36): Idk the postcode off the top of my head. Soz.

BP (20:37): Yes, I know it. I’ll be there at 1:30.

SS (20:38): Cool. Can’t wait :)

I falter, unsure of how much of myself I’m willing to give away. I’ve never been good with openness - Hiding behind sharp words, and a false air of indifference. In that respect, I’m Snow’s antithesis. He’s a boy without walls - Open and forthright, to a fault. Defenseless, yet not afraid. I don’t believe that he’s ever tried to conceal any part of himself, around me - Even when we were literal strangers (Which, despite how it may feel, was barely a week ago). And, we’re certainly more than that, now (Well, I hope so, anyway). So why should I keep pretending? Why not just be real? Why not be a little more Simon Snow? I mean, he could hardly fault me for it - That would just be immensely hypocritical.

I type out my response in a rush, staring down the screen critically. Realistically, all I’m doing is parroting him. And while I know that, it feels like something much more. It feels like a partial admission of another truth. Another, much more frightening truth … That Simon Snow appears to have found himself in my affections, in a way that nobody else has before. That being with him makes my heart pulse, and my soul sing … That I’m a helpless, lovelorn fool.

Nevertheless, I scrunch my eyes closed, and hit send quickly (Before my courage, inevitably, dries up).

BP (20:43): Neither can I. It’ll be great to see you again.

————————————————————————————

He’s already standing outside when I pull up to his house. His bronze curls whipping around in the wind, messily, and a hand tracing the hem of his hoodie absentmindedly.

Shyly, I slide out of the car, and pace over to him.

“Good morning, Snow.”

“Hey, Baz!” he chirps, smiling over at me.

“You’re actually ready on time, this time. Congratulations!” I toy.

“Hey! Piss off!” He gruffs, sweeping his hair back, out of his face. “I was three minutes late. That doesn’t even count!”

“Au contraire - It most certainly does count. I was deeply inconvenienced by your casual approach to promptness. I had to sit on the stairs for a whole five minutes ... I looked like a complete prat.”

“Not my problem,” he shrugs. “You didn’t have to wait right by the door, you moron. That is completely on you.”

“Whatever,” I scoff, my face flooding with heat.

He lets out a laugh - Deep and rumbling. “You know for a smart guy, you really are awfully dumb sometimes, Baz”

I roll my eyes dramatically, unable to think up a comeback. Stumped, I decide to move the conversation forwards ...

“Have you got everything you need?” I ask, nodding my head towards the backpack in his hands - Not even bothering to question why he’s chosen to hold it that way.

“Yep. I brought a ball, and everything!”

“Perfect,” I mumble, nudging my hand against his, and pulling the bag from between his fingers. “I’ll just put this in the boot, and then we can go ... Hop on in, Golden boy.”

————————————————————————————

Simon

Baz is ruthless on the pitch (Just like I’d imagined he’d be) - Pelting across the grass at a breakneck speed, and booting goal after goal into the back of the net. Truly, He’s a sight to behold - All straining muscles, and wicked grins. I’d be basking in it … If I wasn’t so bloody annoyed.

He’s absolutely thrashing me (Of course) - 5 to Nil. It’s an absolute disaster on my end, having, apparently, lost any sort of scoring capability. And, to make matters worse, he’s not exactly coy about it - Assaulting me with a constant stream of ' Are you even trying, Snow 's and over-exaggerated, false yawns. Utter prat.

In my desperation, I stick my leg out in a particularly botched attempt at a tackle, accidentally clipping the back of his ankle, and sending him tumbling to the ground. Shit.

“Oh my god,” I breathe, squatting down onto the floor besides him, and flipping him over with a tug to his shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry. I was trying to get the ball, I swear I didn’t mean to do that.”

He glares up at me, his full lips twisted into an acrid scowl. My stomach sinks at the sight of it. Shit. I’ve really fucked this up.

But then, he’s chortling heartily (Apparently incapable of maintaining his cruel act, any longer). His face scrunching up delightfully, as his eyes well up with joyful tears.

“What the fuck even was that, you complete barbarian,” he laughs, clutching at his stomach, stupidly. “Couldn’t stand losing, so you thought you’d just try knocking me out instead ... That is definitely a foul, Snow”

“I know, I know. It was an accident though, I swear,” I whine. “Just ... Shut up, and let me help you, you dick.”

I stick a hand out, pulling him up into a sitting position. He’s a mess - Small clumps of mud and grass clinging to his face, and a nasty, bloodied scraze disfiguring his knee. Yet somehow, even with all the marks of my stupidity, he still manages to look infuriatingly good.

I take his face in my hands gently, tilting it towards mine. The laughter dies out, suddenly - His face falling marginally, as he goes eerily quiet. Unperturbed, I continue my ministrations, brushing my fingers across his face, sweeping away the debris as I go.

“I really am sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

“It’s alright, Snow. I was only teasing. I know it was an accident. It’s fine, really, it’s just a little scrape - Nothing a wash and a plaster won’t fix.”

“Okay,” I huff, relieved. “I didn’t bring any with me, though ... But, there’s a first aid kit back at home. We could go and patch you up there?”

“No. If it’s alright, I’d rather do it back at my own house. It’ll be much less awkward that way”

“Oh,” I drone, my voice weak with disappointment. “Sure.”

How the fuck did I manage to mess things up so quickly? We were supposed to spend the rest of the day together (I mean, neither of us ever actually said that, but it was definitely assumed), and now, within one poxy hour, I’ve managed to kill all chances of that. I'm such a bloody idiot.

“Cheer up, misery-guts,” he giggles, “There’s no need to strop - You can come too. You might just have to sneak in through the window, or something.”

“Okay, sure,” I beam, stupidly elated. “I can handle that.”

————————————————————————————

Baz

As it turns out, he really can't handle it.

“Christ, Snow,” I hiss. “You’re being way too loud. Shut up.”

“It ain't my fault! I don’t know why the fuck you thought I would be able to climb up this thing properly. It’s made for flowers Baz, not people!”

He has a point, to be honest. I knew that getting him up the trellis would be a challenge, but we didn’t exactly have many other options.

I thrust my hand out of the window, gripping onto his forearm tightly, and shifting my weight to support him properly.

With that, his body starts shaking violently, a poorly concealed chuckle escaping his lips.

“I told you to shut it, moron,” I scold (Although, there is no real malice in it - The smile is clearly audible in my voice).

“I’m trying, really. It’s just - It’s just this is like some shitty version of Romeo and Juliet, Baz. You can’t blame me!” He laughs. “It’s funny!”

“Yes well … Romeo was much more graceful about it than you!”

“Shhhh. I’m doing my best. I’m almost up! You should’ve gotten me a rope or something, it isn’t my fault!”

“Oh yes, Snow,” I deadpan. “Sorry. Let me go and grab the ten foot rope I keep under my bed at all times”

“Hey! I don’t know what kind of kinky shit you’re into! You could've had a rope lying around somewhere!”

I don’t even try and justify that with a response, choosing, instead, to focus on helping him up.

Eventually, we manage to pull him into the room - Snow plopping down onto the floor, with an unceremonious thud.

Laughing hysterically, he props himself up against the wall besides me, and rests his head against the side of my shoulder.

“Thanks for helping me up. I was so scared I was gonna fall back into that stupid rose bush.”

“It’s no problem. I didn’t really fancy having to explain to Father why you, of all people, were sneaking into my bedroom.”

“Hmmm,” he hums, his throat vibrating distractingly, against my shoulder. “You need me to help you with your leg?”

“No. I can handle it … I was going to have a quick shower, actually, if that’s alright with you? Get it properly cleaned up and everything, you know."

“Oh yeah, that’s fine,” He murmurs, lifting his head up, and shifting his body sideways (Away from mine). “What - I mean what am I supposed to do, though? Do you want me to hide somewhere?”

I puff out a breath, amused by his sincerity. “No, Snow,” I drawl. “You don’t have to hide yourself away in the wardrobe. You can just wait around here. Nobody is going to come in - Don’t worry.”

“Oh, right” He mumbles, glancing his eyes down towards the floor. “Cool.”

“Yeah. There’s plenty here to keep you entertained, though. You could play on the PS, or watch some TV … Or, you could read something, I suppose. Although, I know you’re not big on that.”

He smiles over at me, his freckled cheeks puffing out wide. It’s frustratingly adorable.

“Yeah, maybe not that. I’ll probably just watch TV, if that’s okay?”

“Of course it’s okay. I wouldn’t have offered otherwise,” I say, jumping up, and treading over to the en-suite door. “I won't be long, though, honest - I’ll be back in half an hour, latest.”

————————————————————————————

It definitely took me longer than half an hour. Although, that was Snow’s fault entirely - His lovely tackle, had left awful clumps of mud matted into my hair, so I had to give it a proper wash.

When I step back into the room (My hair still annoyingly damp), Snow has got himself starfished out across my bed, his chin propped up in his hands. He looks completely at ease, laid out in my bed like that - Even with the, admittedly, rather intimidating decor of my room.

Stepping besides the bed, I scoop his legs up in my arms, and swing them over to one side of the bed - Making room for myself besides him.

“What are you watching then, Snow?” I ask, laying myself down onto the duvet.

“Dunno. Some crap cop show. I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“No?” I ask, gasping with faux incredulity. “Would you like to play some FIFA instead? That way I can thrash you again, without sustaining any serious injuries.”

“Don’t be a wanker, Baz,” he scolds. “You know I didn’t mean to do that!”

“I know, I know,” I coo. “I’m only messing with you. Don’t stress.”

He glares at me, pouting his lips out, slightly. “Okay then,” he agrees, a sly smirk spreading across his face. “I actually play a lot of FIFA, you know. So, I reckon I’m going to enjoy beating you … Would serve you right for being such a cocky bastard!”

I raise my eyebrows in challenge, punching out a quick, mirthless laugh. “I’d like to see you try, Snow. Do your worst … We’ll see who comes out on top!”

————————————————————————————

For all my arrogance, I will admit that Snow was actually a very worthy opponent (Although, I’d never tell him that).

Considering that I’d been playing everyday for the last two months, I had assumed it would be an easy victory - But, as it turns out, I was wrong. He put up a more than admirable fight - Actually leading for the majority of the match. But, of course, I still managed to beat him - Hammering in a goal on the ninety-third minute (Much to Snow’s dismay).

“For fuck sakes!” He fumes, throwing the controller down onto the bed, childishly. “I almost bloody had it, as well!”

“There, there, Snow,” I tease, pressing a hand to his shoulder in a mocking comfort. “There’s always next time.”

“Piss off, Baz!” He whines, flopping back against my pillows with a dramatic sigh. “I’ve had enough of this shitty game!”

“Alright,” I breathe, slowly laying myself down besides him, as I desperately try to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside me. “Do you want to play a different game, then?”

“No.”

“Okay,” I drawl, my voice rising with uncertainty. “So … You want-”

“Just wanna stay here for a bit,” he gruffs.

“Okay. We can stay here, then.” I agree, my voice hushed.

As silence settles over us, I steal a glance over at him.

He’s got an arm stretched out over his face (The synthetic material of his football shirt, straining against his broad shoulders, perfectly), and beneath it, I can see the hint of a smile playing at his lips.

Unobserved, I take my opportunity to scan my eyes over him, appreciatively. Sprawled out against my bed, he looks positively obscene. His hair mussed intoxicatingly, where it rests against my pillow, and every revealed inch of skin decorated with constellations of moles. For a moment, I envision pressing my lips against them, lavishing each and every mark with the attention they deserve, but I quickly restrain myself. Allowing my mind to wander now, when he’s so close to me, would be an irreparably idiotic move.

In an attempt to cool myself down, I flutter my eyes shut, and shift my focus onto the steady puff of his breathing - Slow and constant. In and Out. In and Out. In and Out …

————————————————————————————

Embarrassingly, I’m halfway to sleep when he speaks next.

“Baz?” he whispers, poking my arm lightly. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” I mumble, my voice deep and lazy with tiredness.

“Okay. Cool,” he sighs. “Can - I mean, can I ask you something?”

“Hmmm. Of course” I hum.

“It's just that, I’ve been thinking … Did - Did you mean what you said the other day?”

I scoff, quietly. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific, if you want me to answer that, Snow.”

“Right yeah. Obviously,” he huffs, clearly frustrated.

Opening my eyes, I tilt my head over to look at him - Our eyes meeting immediately. His deep blue boring into my grey. This close, it’s far too intense.

Caught off guard, and humiliatingly wonderstruck, I avert my eyes, focusing my gaze on the canopy of my bed, instead. I feel my face flush with heat, once again, and pray to God that he doesn’t notice. That would be the last thing I need, right now.

“I just - I mean what you said to your dad,” he continues, stammering slightly.

“What bit?”

“When you were all like - 'Oh don’t worry Father, he's one of mine',” he explains, making an absolutely atrocious attempt at mimicking my accent. “I just mean like - Do you really have lots of, like - I don’t know ... Guys?”

“No,” I drone. “There’s no one else ... Never has been. I just said that to get him off of your case. He doesn’t really like talking about that stuff, so I figured it would be effective.”

“Oh,” He breathes. “Okay.”

I pause, unsure of what else to say. The silence stretches between us painfully - Tangible tension flooding the air. And then, I feel it. It’s barely a brush at first - Easy to play off as a simple accident, given our close proximity. But then, he continues. Pressing our hands together more fervently - His skin impossibly warm against mine. It’s searing - The contact lighting me up from within, as hopeful sparks ignite within me.

I gulp, audibly. “Why?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

“Just - I’m just like … Curious, I suppose,” he murmurs, his finger tip tracing it’s way along the side of my thumb. It’s feather-light, but it weighs like lead in my heart. And I think that, maybe (just maybe), he might be trying to tell me exactly what I want to hear.

He presses on, nervously, his voice wavering slightly. “It’s just that -”

Suddenly, there’s a banging at the door - Loud and insistent.

Panicked, I shove him off of the bed, sending him flopping onto the floor with a girlish yelp. Biting back a laugh, I rush over to the door, and pull it open ever so slightly.

“Basilton. Dinner is ready. I don’t know what on earth you’re doing in here, making all that racket, but you need to come downstairs now,” Father chastises.

“Of course. I’ll be down in just a minute.”

“Alright. Hurry down though. Please don’t keep us all waiting. We don’t want to start without you.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Father,” I taunt, my tone laced with sarcasm. He’ll definitely lecture me about that later (He’s never impressed with my 'petulant attitude'), but, right now, I don’t particularly care.

Closing the door behind him, I scurry over back to where Snow is sat.

“You have to leave,” I whisper, rushing out the words with a frightful urgency. “I’m sorry. I lost track of time. You just - You really have to leave. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone ... So, you can't really stay.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he hushes. “It’s fine. Don’t stress. Do you want me to go right now?”

“No,” I cry. “Just - Wait until I’ve been down at dinner for a few minutes - Then you can leave … That way, you can be certain nobody will be creeping around outside.”

“Okay, sure.” he says, smiling over at me.

Looking at him - I hesitate. “But - Are you sure you’ll be okay climbing? If you’d rather wait, I’m sure that I can find some other way to sneak you out, a little bit later. I could say I'm going out to the bin, or something. If you were quiet, we might be able to get away with it.” “Baz,” he sing-songs, teasingly. “I’m sure I can climb down without your help. It’s only one floor.”

“Yes well,” I deadpan. “Forgive me for thinking it may be best to find an alternative route. You didn’t exactly dazzle me with your speed or grace in getting up here.”

He snickers, squinting his eyes at me daringly.

“Yeah, but it’ll be easier going down. So chill. I can handle it - Trust,” he reassures. “You’ve seriously gotta go and get your dinner now, though. If your dad comes stomping up here to yell at you, it’s game over for me! And then fussing over this would've been entirely pointless”

“Okay,” I huff, standing and pacing over to the door, reluctantly.

Flashing him a quick smile, I call out a quiet “Message you later, Snow,”, and then, I leave him.

————————————————————————————

I’m just tucking into my dinner, when an almighty crash tears through the hush of the dining room. Of course, I know what it is immediately - Simon bloody Snow falling off of that god-forsaken trellis.

Fucking hell. I knew I should’ve tried to sneak him out another way.

I mean, what if he’s hurt himself? It’s not exactly a steep fall, but it’s certainly enough to do some damage. And the only reason he is even here, is because of my stupid, desperate plot to get to spend more time with him - And now, he's probably laying out there with a broken leg, or something. God. I'm such a selfish dolt.

Anxiously, I slide my phone out of my pocket, beneath the table, and hurry out a quick text.

ME (19:27): Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Do you need help?

I wait, holding my breath as my leg bounces under the table, impatiently.

SS (19:28): Nah. Don’t worry. I’m good.

SS (19:28): I might’ve killed your flowers tho :/

SS (19:28): Sorry!

I smile to myself privately - Doing my best to hide my grin behind my hand.

That bloody disaster is going to be my undoing, I swear.

#carry on #wayward son #snowbaz #snowbaz fic #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch

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winchester-writes · 7 years

Text

Fearful Love Part 8

Jared Padalecki x Reader

Word Count: 1,510

Warnings: language, diagnosis of PTSD, panic attack

Summary: After leaving the convention Jared takes you to get you some help. Finally the feelings the two of you have for each other are revealed but how long is that happiness able to last?

A/N: Whoa!! Two fics out in one day!!!! Lmao I surprised myself and I know a lot of you have been waiting for this moment for a long time so here it is!!! I hope you all enjoy this!!! Unbeta’d so all mistakes are mine and feedback is greatly appreciated!!!

Fearful Love Masterlist

Jared had the convention workers cancel the rest of your appearances along with his own. Something that you fought him on.

“Jared no. Just because I’m obviously going insane doesn’t mean you have to leave the fans too. I feel bad enough that I’m leaving.” You scoffed as he nodded towards the leader telling her to continue with what he said. She agreed and left the two of you alone in the green room. Jared walked over to you as you wiped a tear from your cheek and gripped your arms bringing your body into his.

“I told you that I was going to take care of you didn’t I? That means going back to Vancouver and seeing your doctor with you. I’m not leaving you alone. We’re in this together, okay?”

You slowly nodded your head as you took in his scent, you could die here in his arms and die happy. Feeling his lips on the top of your head, you sighed in content and looked up at him, lying your chin on his chest. “Thank you, for everything. For being there for me and everything else you’ve done.”

He looked down at you and wondered if you could feel how fast his heart was being with how close you were pressed to him, “I’ll always be here.” Jared took his chance and slowly leaned down, brushing his lips against yours. He was hesitant at first giving you the opportunity to pull away if this isn’t what you wanted.

It’s been months since the two of you kissed on his couch but your lips were still just as soft and you tasted just as sweet. Sighing into his mouth you brought a hand to the nape of his neck, your fingers carding through his hair. His kiss was comforting, his lips moving against yours told you everything you needed to know, made you feel like you were the only important girl in this world. Something that never happened when you would kiss Aaron.

Pulling away, Jared looked down at you, smiling at your flushed face and your closed eyes. Leaning over he kissed both of your eyelids before you opened them. “Do you believe me now? I mean it when I say I will always be there. You’re...you’re my everything Y/N.” His thumb brushed your cheek bone as a tear slide down it. “I think I’ve waited long enough to tell you that. I was an idiot to push you away that night but everything had just gone down and I wanted to be a gentleman. I didn’t want you to think that I was taking advant-”

You cut him off as you brought your lips back to his, “I believe you and I’m sorry for kissing you that night. I was already developing feelings for you, you’re my best friend and I feel like that’s what draws me to you so strongly. You make me laugh, put me first and treat me like a princess. T-thank you for that….but I can’t let you be with me. I’m too broken, Aaron fucked me up. Hell this is why we’re leaving the convention right now because I’m so entirely broken I don’t see anything putting me back together.”

“Well then I guess I’m also going to have to show you that I’m the person that’s going to put you back together. I’m. Never. Leaving. I-I….I love you Y/N. I have since I first saw you.” Jared cupped your cheek when you gasped, he smiled and kissed the top of your head, not expecting you to say it back so quickly. He just wanted to let you have that reassurance and he means what he says. “Now come on, let’s go get you some help babe.”

Making it back to Vancouver and to your doctor, Jared sat next to you the entire time the doctor spoke to you. You specifically requested that he be there with you, holding your hand as the doctor told you that you have a small diagnosis of PTSD with some paranoia. Luckily it wasn’t too severe but it was a tremendous thing for you to hear nonetheless. You didn’t hear a thing as the doctor gave Jared specific instructions on when to take your medicine and what to do if you happen to have another episode.

You stood up when Jared took a hold of your hand and tugged on it. You weren’t even sure how or when you made it out to the car but when you realized where you were, your breathing picked up and the tears started flowing. All of this was too much to take in, especially with all the other problems and diagnosis you were given before this visit.

Good thing the two of you hadn’t made it out of the parking lot yet because Jared was by your side within a second. He took your face in his hands and turned it to face him, “Hey hey, look at me, look at me. Everything’s okay, I need you to breathe. Don’t hold your breath. Y/N, come on.”

After your little hyperventilation session, you quit breathing to try to stop but that was something you probably shouldn’t have done. “Y/N, please! Deep breaths, in and out.” You tried to do as he said but your body wasn’t responding the way you wanted it to and your eyes started to flutter. “Hey no no, don’t pass out on me.” That was the last you heard of Jared’s voice as your head slumped in his hands and your eyes closed.

What felt like hours later, you woke up in a bed that wasn’t normally yours. Sitting up, you looked around to notice you were in Jared’s room. “Oh hey, you’re awake. I hope you don’t mind that I brought you in here. It was the closest room and I just-”

“Jared it’s fine. Thank you.” You gave a tight lipped smile and held your hand out, “Come lay with me?”

Jared hesitantly nodded before he made his way over to the bed, lifting up the covers and getting in beside you. Instantly you cuddled up next to his side, laying your head on his fast beating heart which caused you to smile.

“I’m sorry about earlier…”

“No, don’t apologize to me. I understand that that was a lot to take in. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise.” He wrapped an arm around you pulling you close, taking a chance and rubbing his fingers across your arm.

You snuggled in closer, sticking your leg between the both of his and wrapping an arm around his middle, “I love you too ya know…and I’m grateful that you’re in my life.”

If Jared’s heart could beat any faster it would have come out of his chest completely. He kissed the side of your head and then brought your hand up to kiss your knuckles, “What do you say I take you out on a date later? To that steak place downtown with that mac ‘n cheese you can’t get enough of.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face, “I would love that very much.”

“There’s that smile, I missed that.” He brushed his thumb across your cheek as you looked up at him, “I promise to make you smile and laugh for as long as you’ll have me. Will you have me?”

“Of course Jared, only if you’re fine having a broken girl like me.”

Jared sighed, “What have I said?”

“That I’m not broken and that you’ll never leave me and that you love me.” You said in a flat tone, hoping he didn’t hear the eyeroll in your voice.

“Say that last part again.”

“You love me.”

“And I always will.” Jared leaned down to kiss you as the doorbell rang and he sighed.

“That’s okay, I was going to go take a shower anyways.”

“Alright you can use my bathroom, right through that door and clean towels are in the little closet.” He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours before getting up.

He watched as you made your way into the bathroom, the both of you smiling at each other before the door shut behind you. Making his way downstairs he opened the door expecting someone to be there but instead, there was no one except for a bouquet of flowers sitting on the doorstep. Confused, Jared picked it up slowly to investigate it, picking the card up and reading it carefully; his nostrils immediately flaring at the words. Aaron was in jail for 5 years and he had no clue where Jared lived….so how was he able to send you flowers?

Jared walked outside, looking around before dumping the flowers into the trashcan. He was not going to let you see them or the letter, only the police would get it. Aaron must have someone working for him. Walking back inside, Jared plopped down on the couch, his head in his hands, “What the fuck is going on?!”

Part 9

Fearful Love Tag List **CLOSED**(If you’re crossed out it wouldn’t let me tag you): @abaddonwithyall, @pada-ackles, @balthazars-muse, @bookshido, @sincerelysaraahh, @demondean-for-kingofhell, @oriona75, @kittenofdoomage, @faith-in-dean, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @writingbeautifulmen, @waywardlullabies, @one-shots-supernatural , @winchesterenthusiast, @manawhaat, @aprofoudbondwithdean, @fangirl1802, @bringmesomepie56, @paigeinastory, @dancingalone21, @jerkbitchidjitassbutt, @latinenglishfandomblog, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @mysteriouslyme81, @tardis-is-mine, @lunatrixlupin, @angel-allie-winchester, @http-loveyou, @spn-dw, @pretty-odd-jen, @faegal04, @jared-padaloveme, @savvythedork, @crossroads-deanmon, @nicolejones412, @fabthemunster, @iamnotsaneatall, @evyiione, @skathan-omaha, @fandom-whore2point0, @atc74, @xtina2191, @arrwow, @deaninathighholster, @too-much-winchester, @smoothdogsgirl, @blacktithe7, @moose-lyfe, @crzcorgi, @waiting4thedoctor, @jpadjackles, @impalaimagining, @deanwinchesterisamazing, @wrong-universe, @elliewinchesterr, @supernatural-jackles, @sortaathief, @gecko9596, @ambocalypse, @sherrilynn67, @jensen-gal, @demonic-meatball, @nothin-after-79, @maui137, @ellen-reincarnated1967, @arryn-nyx, @love-kittykat21, @iamnotsaneatall, @jayankles, @devilgirlsarah, @poukothenerd, @moonstar86, @allieyolo123, @delessapeace-blog, @missdestiel67, @fangirlingfanatic2442, @bemyqueenofdarkness, @hexparker, @missdestiel67, @malecsunshine, @piketori1432, @charliebradbury1104, @mogaruke, @thewhisperingfox, @evyione

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whoinwhoville · 7 years

Text

Fanfic Author Profile

@chocolatequeennk, thank you for this template! What a great idea. I’ll be posting it on my blog, and linking to it as a permanent page.

Archives:

AO3 | Teaspoon (not currently posting new fic to Teaspoon)

Ships:

Doctor Who:

Ten x Rose | Tentoo x Rose | Nine x Rose | Eight x Rose, especially when Rose is dimension hopping.

I generally write Ten or TenToo x Rose rather than Nine x Rose, but only because I hear Ten in my head. I have a hard time writing Nine, but I DEARLY LOVE him with Rose. I read Nine x Rose.

TenInchFic:

Alec Hardy x Rose Tyler | Aiden Hoynes x Rose Tyler (under certain circumstances) | Jean-Francois Mercier x Rose (or Betty under certain circumstances.)

Rating:

All readers through E#pl1c!t (misspelled so icky blogs don’t find the word), though E is rarer for me. Generally I hover between Teen and Mature, with perhaps one scene in certain fics that might garner a high M or low E. There are a few exceptions.

DW ‘verse or AU:

Both.

Genres:

Action/adventure, romance, suspense, crack, humor (or attempts at it), AUs of all kinds, occasional period pieces.

Tropes:

Canon tropes: Downtime in the library. UST in the swimming pool. Breakfast in the galley. Chips, but not as often as most write them. If Rose ate chips as often as she eats them in fic, she’d have a premature coronary from clogged arteries. Rose wanders off. Jail happens a lot.

TenToo tropes:

Toaster fixing, jam, bananas, sexy specs, blue suit, brown suit gets tailored, but also jeans at Rose’s insistence, Janis Joplin coat (he has to really look for it, and ends up snatching it when no one is looking), Chucks, alias John Smith only when in disguise, although Lewis and Sarge happen too (also during sehksay times, which happen a lot.

AU tropes: coffee shops, libraries, book stores, universities, heiress, fairy tales, period pieces, WWII, spies, mutual pining.

Nopes:

Any romance between River and Ten or Nine or Eight... etc... I can’t change Big Finish canon, but I can ignore it and say she doesn’t travel back to meet other Doctors. Unpopular opinion: if her story and character had been written properly, I wouldn’t have been opposed to the Doctor finding love with her after Rose. Because see above -- Ten sending everything about himself through the Void into TenToo. Helps me cope with Eleven and beyond. To wrap my head around seasons 5+, it is the only way I can understand.

Rose with anyone other than the Doctor -- except under extremely carefully crafted circumstances. For example, I was very, very careful that it was 100% impossible for her to reunite with the Doctor when she fell in love with Alec Hardy in my ClosedVerse. No exception. Fobbed Ten as Alec is a good one, though.

Rose will never choose someone else over the Doctor. Ever. If she falls in love with someone in Pete’s World, and the Doctor makes his way back, she will never choose the other love over him. She will never choose anyone over TenToo, either.

Ten will never choose someone else over Rose.

Master x Doctor or any slashfic (just not my thing). I see them as best friends, or even like brothers way back when.

Prostitute Rose (I don’t read SDoaCG fic for that reason).

OT3

Jack x Rose

Master x Rose

Killing off TenToo to get her with Ten.

Kilgrave, Brendan, or now, Don Juan with Rose. Further, I won’t read “redemption” fic with this trio.

Cheating/adultery fic.

Babyfic:

Yep. I always tag. And I understand when people don’t want to read. I don’t think every story has to include this, but sometimes I do think it adds to the plot. Sorta fits well into FoundVerse, because of Jane’s character. I don’t think it always fits in a story, though.

Head canons that influence my writing:

Rose was altered when she joined with the TARDIS/Bad Wolf. Depending upon the story, this happens to varying degrees. If she regenerates, I won’t write her regenerating into a new person. Rose will always be the Rose that we are familiar with. I love her too much.

Rose will always the love the Doctor. However, I’m not big on either reading or writing pre-Eight x Rose. Mainly, that is because I’m not familiar enough. And I might have a bit of a squick when it comes to One, Two, Three, Four, Six, and Seven. Not because of how they look, either. No need to elaborate. No judgement. Just not for me.

The Moment was Bad Wolf -- saving the Doctors just like Rose and the TARDIS saved Nine. (Unpopular opinion -- i don’t hate the War Doctor, but that doesn’t mean I bought into the storyline. Seeing the Moment interact with him was quite amusing.)

GITF didn’t happen. I ignore it. It is a bad, bad dream. Maybe Mickey was dreaming it.

The Stone Rose happened. Ten calls Rose His Lucky Pants quite often, but in a flirty way. When TenToo comes around, her calls her His Lucky Pants, but not so innocently. {{wink wink}}

Regarding TenToo. When Ten regenerated into Eleven, his memories post-Journey’s End re-integrated with TenToo.

Dimension Hopping Rose. She jumped. A lot. She met many of the Doctors, and they all knew something was “up” with her, but I don’t necessarily think they figured it out. Since in my canon she isn’t bonded with the Doctor yet, they wouldn’t know they were together.

Sometimes TenToo doesn’t happen. The meta-crisis doesn’t always happen in my head. In canon, I think it made the most sense for the series, though.

TenToo is the Doctor. Period.

TenToo and Rose had a rough patch after BWB II. But they weren’t “estranged.” It just took them a while to catch their footing. But once they did, fireworks. Bam.

TenToo and Rose got married. In some stories, they have kids, in others they don’t.

TenToo successfully grew a TARDIS, but he still wanted to live a domestic life. While on Earth, the TARDIS disguises herself as a little, domestic cottage. No curtains or carpets. Shutters and hardwood. When traveling, the beloved blue box.

When either Nine, Ten, or Tentoo marry Rose, bonding happens. But so does a human wedding, because the Doctor wants to experience it all. Because the TARDIS is in her head, and because the Doctor is a touch-telepath, it happens.

TenToo and Tony are partners in crime.

TenToo and Jackie get along very well, except when they don’t.

Pete’s World Torchwood is a force for good, even if the Doctor has to advocate for that sometimes. Every institution gets off track from time-to-time. TenToo helps Torchwood as much as he can, but unofficially. Rose still works for Torchwood. TenToo might be an author, a teacher, or a professor between adventures.

I love Fobbed Ten. Love. Love. Love.

Ten and Rose were not intimate before they were separated at Doomsday. I can understand why people do have that head-canon, though. But not being physically intimate yet seems to make the tragedy of Doomsday that much more poignant for me. They were both, however, completely in love. They hadn’t voiced it, though. And they both knew the others’ feelings. The “Forever” scene sealed that for me.

Jimmy Stone was a jerk, but not abusive. I don’t think Rose would have put up with that.

Thoughts on other companions:

Donna, Martha, and Astrid were all stars. (Is Astrid a companion? She would have been great, I think. I didn’t know about JE when I watched VotD -- I’d kept myself spoiler free while watching on Netflix. I just wanted Ten to be happy.)

Amy and Rory are great together (no Amy pining over the Doctor). Clara and Danny in a healthy relationship would have been fantastic.

Other things of note:

Way back when, I wrote a significantly large TenToo x Rose series called the JazzVerse. Each story was named after a classic jazz work.

I named Tentoo. I... NAMED Ten...Too. Not a good move. I was very new to the fandom, and was one of the first fanfic.net writers to write significantly long TenToo fics. At one time, the JazzVerse fics were the most-read TenToo fics on fanfic.net. I really did like his name: Ian Noble Smith.

I didn’t know that naming the Doctor was a big, fat no-no, but I’ve chalked it up to ignorance. I don’t know if I’ll ever put the JazzVerse back up (for a lot of reasons -- I feel like the writing is pretty weak, for one).

Open for prompts?

But I can’t always guarantee that I will write them. {winkwink}

#author profile #i write fic #nine x rose #ten x rose #tentoo x rose

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mageicalwishes · 4 years

Text

A Smashing Summer - Chapter 3

Read on AO3: here

Read the previous chapter (On Tumblr): here

Chapter: 3/?

Words: 1,694

Simon

I slide down against the sofa, pulling my phone out of my pocket, with a smile.

ME (19:57): Hey, hey, hey, Bazaroo!

ME (19:57): I’m super glad you liked the scones! They’re my absolute faveee

ME (19:57): I’ll bring enough to share next time :)

ME (19:58): How are you today?

To my delight, my phone buzzes with a response, almost immediately.

BP (19:58): If you ever call me that again, I will block your number. I’m not even joking.

BP (19:58): And, I’m pretty good, thanks. Yourself?

ME (19:59): Aw :( Imma just have to keep trying different names till I find one you like, then :p

ME (19:59): I’m great! Had a pretty good day today :)

ME (20:00): Sorry I didn’t message earlier btw - It’s been a busy day! Me and the lads went into town and played some footie, and then I had to do some dumb history essay (Idk who told my history teacher she could set homework in the holidays, but I wanna fight them!)

ME (20:00): I fucking despise the Tudors. I mean, why the fuck would I care about socio-economic policies from like a million years ago! Grrrr!

BP (20:01): No worries, Snow. I understand.

BP (20:01): That is unfortunate - But, you got lucky with the Tudors, to be honest. I’d rather that, than the bloody Industrial Revolution. That is mind-numbingly dull!

BP (20:02): But, I hate to break it to you - If you think the Tudor dynasty was a million years ago, then maybe you should reconsider your subject choice. You’ll definitely fail the A-level, if that’s your level of understanding.

ME (20:03): Aha trueee. Sucks to be you :p

ME (20:03): And stfu!! I know it wasn’t actually a million years ago, you tosser! I was BEING dramatic - You should've realised, you know ALL about that, Mr. Roll-your-eyes-every-two-fucking-seconds.

BP (20:04): I’m unconvinced.

Stupidly, I scoff aloud - Drawing Nathan’s attention away from the television and over to me. He stands, trudging over, and plopping down onto the sofa besides me.

I groan, frustrated.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing. Nothing … Just wondering who you’re texting,” he drawls, the mocking amusement clear in his tone. “Got yourself a new girlfriend, or something?”

“No! I’m just talking to Penny,” I defend, my voice rising suspiciously. Fuck. I’m such a crap liar.

“You know, I know you’re lying, right?”

“Obviously,” I drone. “Just … Butt out of it, though, yeah? Please.”

“Alright, alright” he laughs, throwing his hands up in a mock surrender. “I’ll leave you be. But, if you wanna keep your little buddy a secret - I’d advise against laughing at their messages in the bloody common room, you divvy.”

“Noted,” I sigh, turning towards the door. “Don’t tell Josh though, yeah?”

“Sure, Simon. If that’s what you want, your secret is safe with me.”

“Cheers, mate.” I smile. “You’re the best.”

“I know, I know. I’m amazing. Just go and text them, you mug!”

I do (Obviously). Quickly jogging upstairs, and locking myself in the bathroom - Where I’m safely hidden from prying eyes. Laying myself down in the bathtub, I hammer out a reply, sending it off Baz immediately.

ME (20:13): Whatever, dickhead!!

ME (20:13): Also soz I didn’t answer. Nathan was being nosy lol.

ME (20:13): Anyway … You been up to much today?

Baz

Just as I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I won’t be receiving a response, my phone buzzes loudly against my bedside table - My chest swelling pathetically, as I reach out and grab it.

Typing out a response, I find myself smiling - Unbridled joy melting away my impassive neutrality.

ME (20:14): No worries, Snow. It’s not as though I’m just sitting here, desperately awaiting your every response. I do have a life outside of you, you know.

That's not exactly true ... But, he doesn’t need to know that.

ME (20:14): And, no, not really. I’ve mostly just been reading. I did try to teach Mordelia how to play chess, though - Which was fairly disastrous.

SS (20:15): Lol! Sounds good :)

SS (20:15): Who is Mordelia, though?

SS (20:15): Is that your girlfriend?

I stare at my phone, blankly - Trying to formulate a response.

ME (20:17): Seriously?

Barely a second after I've send it, my phone starts buzzing furiously - Message after message, pouring in.

SS (20:17): What?

SS (20:17): That’s a perfectly valid question!

SS (20:17): You haven’t mentioned anyone called Mordelia, I swear to God!

SS (20:18): I’d remember, for sure.

SS (20:18): It’s not exactly a common name

ME (20:19): I know that, Snow. I was referring to the girlfriend question!

ME (20:19): I thought that we had already established that, a girlfriend isn’t exactly on the cards for me - Given the whole fake ex-boyfriend situation.

SS (20:20): Bi people exist, you moron!

SS (20:20): I’m Bi. Lol.

SS (20:20): I didn’t wanna assume you were only into guys … Or that you were even really into them at all.

SS (20:21): You totally could’ve been Bi!

SS (20:21): Or straight! The whole ex-boyfriend thing was a lie, remember? - You could’ve just been a straight bro, pretending to be into dudes, to help me out.

SS (20:22): It aint a dumb question, really. So … Don’t be annoying!!

Oh. Okay.

Newly nervous, I begin typing out my response - Ensuring that I sound perfectly unphased.

ME (20:22): Christ, Snow! You seriously have to stop sending so many texts in a row. My phone is going to have a meltdown, if you keep it up.

Hesitating slightly, I continue.

ME (20:23): But, you’re right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it to sound as though Gay and Straight were the only options. I could’ve been Bi … Or Straight, I suppose. But, to clarify - I’m definitely not. I’m gay.

ME (20:24): I guess that - Where I’ve known since I was eleven, and I stopped trying to hide it a while ago now, I sort of forget that it isn’t immediately apparent to everybody else. Everyone in my Family knows. Everyone at College, too. So, I just, sort of, forget that I can still be perceived as anything other than what I actually am.

SS (20:26): Hush you! I like multiple texts!! It’s easier to keep my track of my thoughts, like that. If I try to put it all in one text, I forget what I wanna say.

SS (20:26): And dw about it, it’s chill! I know you didn’t mean it like that, I was just teasing :)

SS (20:27): I get what you mean tho. Coming out was so scary … But now I sort of forget that not everybody knows. I just like to assume they do lol. It’s stopped being such a big thing, now that I can just, like, relax about it.

Unsure of how to respond, I type out a simple …

ME (20:28): Yeah.

SS (20:28): Yeah :)

SS (20:28): Seriously, tho. Who is Mordelia? You never actually answered me lol.

ME (20:29): She’s my little sister.

SS (20:30): Oh lol! That’s crazy! I didn’t think you had a sibling.

SS (20:30): You don’t give off doting big brother vibes.

SS (20:31): More like … Spoiled only child, ones. LOL! :D

SS (20:31): Is she your only sibling?

Unable to help myself, I chuckle, quietly.

ME (20:32): Very funny, Snow. But I never said I was doting! I may be their brother, but I still have standards.

ME (20:33): And, no (Unfortunately). I have three more - Two sisters, and a brother. They’re my step-siblings technically, though. And they’re quite a bit younger than me. So, I was an only child for quite a long time.

SS (20:33): Cool!

SS (20:34): Do they all have stupidly posh names, too?

SS (20:34): And, do you like having siblings?

SS (20:35): I always wanted a brother, when I was little!

ME (20:36): Yes. Unfortunately, my family are incapable of picking normal names.

ME (20:37): And, yes. Most of the time, anyway. It’s nice to always have somebody to talk to - Or to play with (Although, I think I would’ve appreciated that more, if the age-gap wasn’t quite so wide). But, they do drive me up the wall, sometimes! Mordelia has taken to drawing all over my revision notes, recently - I’m sure you can imagine how I felt about that!

SS (20:40): Aw, yeah. That sounds nice!

SS (20:40): LMAO! THAT’S HILARIOUS! I feel bad for her tho … I’d hate to have your wrath turned on me! You'd probs make me cry lol.

ME (20:41): Yes, well. Despite what you think - My wrath was, evidently, not strong enough! She’s still bloody doing it!

SS (20:43): Aha lol! I like her! She sounds as stubborn as you.

————————————————————————————

A soft rap on the door, disturbs me from my conversation with Snow.

“Baz, Honey? Are you in there?” Daphne calls, her voice sweet and cautious.

“Yeah? You can open the door. It’s fine - I’m decent.”

“Okay,” she hums, pushing the door open slightly, and peeping her head in. “I just wanted to let you know that I'm about to start plating up dinner.”

“Alright,” I smile. “Thank you. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Perfect. See you then,” she sings, turning and leaving the room.

Hastily, I rattle out a text to Snow.

ME (21:14): As much as I am enjoying this, I have to go now, Snow. Sorry.

SS (21:14): Aw :( How come?

ME (21:15): I’ve got to go and eat dinner.

SS (21:15): At nine ?!?

ME (21:16): Yes, Snow - At nine. I must compliment you on your time-telling abilities!

ME (21:16): My Father insists that we eat dinner together as a family, but he was working late tonight … So, nine P.M steak it is.

SS (21:17): Aw fuck! You have steak! I’m well jel :(((

SS (21:17): But, okay, no worries! Hope you enjoy your dinner.

SS (21:18): TTYL :D

ME (21:18): Will do! Talk to you later. Goodbye for now :)

#carry on #wayward son #snowbaz #snowbaz fic #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch

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