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plato-repulsed-culture-is · 6 months

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sorry if this is a weird question, but um, a girl i know asked me out. Shes aplatonic but alloromantic and allosexual. I do like her back, but im a bit worried.. ive dated a guy before who didnt have friends and what ended up happening is that i had to support him 100% of the time when something bad happened and i had to be with him after school every day because i was the only person he talked to and he would get lonely otherwise. He even threatened to do bad things to himself if i went to a friend's sleepover because it made him feel bad. Im really worried that something like this would repeat... it lowkey traumatized me i think. Is this a valid concern or are aplatonic people different and they dont really need much emotional support compared to non-aplatonic people? Or was my ex just uniquely an asshole? Thank u so so much if u respond

I am prefacing this with a disclaimer that this blog was never for giving people advice, especially when they view aplatonics with such suspicion and are not actually asking any advice related to plato repulsion which is what this blog is about. I can also only go off of your statements here to draw conclusions, and I am assuming you are stating the truth here (especially as this is online, I know there is a possibility people can lie, but may also be telling the truth.). Also, we are not responsible for anything that happens to you emotionally or otherwise if you make decisions based off of this advice, because thats not within our control.

From what you said, your ex sounds like he was being rather toxic and manipulative towards you. That kind of behaviour is harmful (threatening self harm as a form of control, trying to control who someone spends time with, and not respecting peoples boundaries regarding interaction or emotional support, are all harmful actions.) and nobody should be acting that way towards others, we're sorry that happened to you. You also don't need to be concerned that someone will act this way towards you just bc theyre aplatonic. Your concern is valid, but it is in no way something that will inherently apply to aplatonics.

If you are concerned about whether this person has unmet social needs then you should just ask her about her social needs and emotional needs and what she expects in a relationship, and communicate about your needs and emotions regarding these things too. If its possible to, maybe mention that you have past issues or trauma in relationships which is why you want to be careful about dating, while not making it seem like aplatonicism is inherently a reason you think someone might hurt you(because it's not).

Set boundaries about what amount of time you want to spend with someone you're dating, and state your limits regarding how much you are okay with emotionally supporting someone / what topics you are ok with talking about / etc. . Don't assume that someone will be toxic or abusive towards you just because they're aplatonic. Its not really like your ex was inherently aplatonic just because he didn't have friends, and it may even be more likely he was alloplatonic.

Some aplatonics have and/or want friends but some dont, and moreover, if someone doesnt have friends by choice, that's very different from someone who is lonely because they don't have friends and mistreats a partner because of it. I will also add here that I don't intend to malign mental health issues just because it sounds like your ex may have had them (as you mentioned loneliness - which is different from just being alone or even liking solitude) ; mental health issues do not innately make someone abusive or toxic, and one can have mental health issues and still be respectful to people.

Someone without any mental health issues can also still very much be abusive or toxic towards others. And honestly, if you associate the concept of aplatonicism itself with this trauma then maybe its not in the best interest of you or the other person to date? And if it applies maybe it could be possible that you are simply not ready to date someone again after what happened, which is also okay, but I don't intend to assume that or be harsh in stating it as a possibility. I will also add that not having friends is not a 'red flag'. If someone has a preference to date/ be involved with people who have friends, that's okay, but not having friends is not inherently a 'red flag'.

Some aplatonics may not get lonely if they don't talk to people (but this can also be true of alloplatonics), and just because someone is aplatonic doesnt mean they will expect their partner to support them all the time to an unhealthy level or to an extent that crosses their boundaries. I will also add that there is no surefire way to tell whether someone will be abusive or toxic, although if they cross your boundaries or are disrespectful to you from the start, its worth staying away from them. Even ppl who are very kind to you initially may at some point abuse you or mistreat you, and theres no way to tell for sure whether or not this will happen because thats kind of how social relationships of any kind are.

But don't profile aplatonics as inherently more likely to be abusive or toxic (I don't know if this is intentional on your part, but hearing the word 'aplatonic' and making all these assumptions about how one may be in a relationship wounds like either this and/or like a trauma trigger extending to the concept of aplatonicism). Not all aplatonics even approach social relationships the same way, and even those who don't have friends are still capable of respecting boundaries in relationships they engage in. I wouldn't say that aplatonic people don't have emotional needs, but people in general have varying social needs and emotional needs. Some people who don't want friends may specifically not have a social drive towards having friends, but this may also apply to people who want friends.

If someone is happy without having friends then they probably don't seek emotional or social fulfillment from friendship. They may have other relationship types even if they are aplatonic (such as familial , romantic, sexual, alterous, etc.) (I don't know if you and this girl are monogamous are not but if you are intending to be monogamous that obviously is excluding sexual and/or romantic then) , and I will add that people don't always need social relationships/ bonds for emotional support. Some people may process emotions through journalling, or may go to a therapist, or such.

Some people may have people they talk to sometimes but don't call them their friends. Having friends does not ever guarantee anyone emotional support, and neither does any other relationship. It just so happens that a lot of people end up mutually (i.e. more or less both ppl give the other emotional support, it doesnt have to be equal so much as it is respecting the boundaries of both people. It is also possible that people may be incompatible in this regard) giving emotional support due to just being around people they are close to and also due to having some kind of emotional connection.

Anyways, long answer short, aplatonicism doesn't say anything about someone's social needs or emotional needs, and neither does alloplatonicism, and its often better to communicate with people you are close to or are looking to be close to, about important aspects regarding relationships.

(Also stating here that this is not an advice blog, we will be deleting any asks seeking advice from now on. If you want you can send in asks as reply to this response, as long as you aren't asking for more advice)

Anyways I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do.

(Additional disclaimer - to anyone who sees this post - do NOT suggest that 'narc abuse' 'borderline abuse' or whatever is real, do not imply mental health issues cause ppl to inherently be abusive, and do not treat having no friends as a 'red flag', regardless of platonic orientation or favorability)

#aplatonic #tw aplphobia #aplphobia #tagging just in case bc idk if it was intentional but the assumptions anon makes seem rather aplphobic #tw manipulation #tw abuse #to trigger warn for mentions of what anons ex did - not sure how else to tw it #asks #advice #I was thinking of deleting this but in case it was genuine I didnt want to like leave it unanswered #I hope it didnt come off too harsh #I was thinking maybe Id need to mention how my relationships w my partners work but I felt that it wasnt very related to this and was too #personal to reveal to someone who I cant even be sure is asking this in good faith mainly bc of how often ppl troll aplatonics and atertiar #the disclaimers are because I dont want this to be used for bigotry #dating #anon asks #not plato repulsed culture

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vaguesxrrow · 25 days

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this was for a request for an edwin payne/gn reader dating hcs but i accidentally deleted the ask SORRYYY 😭😭 if you requested it here you go !!

edwin payne/reader dating hcs

a/n: there is nothing in this pertaining to the reader's gender but i'd like to clarify they are not a girl, as edwin is not attracted to women (to my knowledge)

reader can be read as either alive or dead

tags: gn!reader

what dating edwin payne would be like...

- before you started dating, or at the start of your relationship, edwin would be a little closed off (as is expected from him) but it was still obvious to everyone he had a soft spot for you

- even if he didnt outwardly show how taken with you he really was, it would be obvious through his actions alone

- on cases, he would especially watch out for your safety

- if you're sick or feeling even slightly unwell he will suggest you take a break from this case

- "i will come back to you. i promise." when you protest that he might need you there

- he'll give you long, long hugs when he returns

- lying in bed together after the case, facing each other, as he tells you about it

- would lay down with his head between your shoulder and neck, tracing patterns over your hand and wrist

- isn't terribly fond of pda but cheek kisses and hand holding, or linking your pinkies together are always on the table

- will also let you, and enjoy it when, you latch onto his arm

- this boy would totally try to court you

- at first his gifts would be typical types of gifts, like flowers or something expensive and fancy because he wants you to think highly of him

- but then one day he finds a silly stuffed animal he thinks you'd like and gives it to you

- you LOVE it ofc, and you dont waste a second in telling him

- he's a bit surprised but is happy you love it and would grin at you fully once you promise that yes, you really do think it's lovely

- after that, if he finds anything he knows you'll like, or if you say you want something, he WILL get it for you

- edwin taking you out on dates:

- he would put a lot of effort into your first date because, with all the running away from supernatural beings that want to kill you, he thinks both of you deserve a little normal

- imagine: a museum date, but at a kind of obscure museum that showcases ancient artifacts or something

- edwin would know a lot of facts about the different pieces and tell you about them

- however he will feel bad about going on too long, because this is your first date and he doesn't want to put you off already

- "i... apologise. i'm rambling."

- you: 'i don't mind. it's... attractive how smart you are."

- you were totally gonna say 'sexy' but is edwin really ready for that?? maybe not.

- then you kiss him before he can react, and his system kind of crashes (yeah, definitely not ready for 'sexy' just yet)

- he appreciates how you value his whole personality and genuinely love all parts of him

- he loves you just as much, if it wasn't obvious

- his love languages would probably be quality time and acts of service

- constantly making excuses to be near you

- "[ ] and i will go conduct some research in the library, the three of you can interview the witnesses."

- he thinks he's being subtle but charles, crystal, and niko always grin at you knowingly

- "have fun, lovebirds! try not to get distracted," <- coming from either of the other three, or maybe even all of them in unison

- edwin will splutter and blush

- once he realises there's no use in hiding how whipped he is for you, he'll outright say he wants to "go with his [boyfriend/partner]" to do whatever he wants to do

- he likes saying it out loud that you're together - it makes him feel giddy inside in a way no one else has before

- if you want a specific book for your research he'll take finding it very seriously

- you need a book from the top shelf? he's on it (like, literally on it, because if there's no step stool around he might actually climb the bookshelf)

- getting tired from your research? he'll mirror travel to a coffee shop and get you a drink and a sweet treat

- edwin would get jealous, and once he's secure in the relationship he would show it

- in the case of you being alive: imagine someone trying to flirt with you, maybe in the library or something from the earlier scenario

- he would knock over a book on purpose to spook the person who dared to flirt with HIS s.o

- when you tease him for it later he'll mutter something about being 'possibly a bit jealous.'

- it isn't that he doesn't trust you, as he will of course clarify, he's just very protective

#edwin payne/reader #edwin payne x reader #edwin payne x you #edwin paine/reader #edwin paine x reader #edwin paine #edwin payne #dead boy detectives x reader #dead boy detectives headcanons #dead boy detectives/reader #dead boy detectives #dbd

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casualworf · 14 days

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ok i have a post to make and im just typing this out because im actually so fucking sad and i don’t know who to talk to about it so here i am

genuinely not making this so people will ask me about it

this is a journal post

and also in case the person in question ever sees this, this is how i feel

ok um so a while ago i had someone message and ask me if they could pay me for like snap sexting or whatever

im like hell yeah! very cool i like when people want to pay me and i like sexting so this is good situation

we sext and all and im new to this so i didnt know how to be like “well here is my cashapp.” and he never asked

well we keep talking for a few weeks because i genuinely like talking to him and i guess he liked me too, but i do have times where i can’t reply and im not always accessible because im a normal person with a life 😞

i had a dream about him the other night and it was really cute and sweet and i messaged him the dream on snapchat and was waiting a few days for him to open it and then this morning i realized that he probably deleted me

well. he did delete me. blocked even, so i can never try to follow up. i never got paid (the fucking cheap ass price we agreed on) but that’s not even what i care about

i don’t think he’s in the wrong, i know he’s just protecting his own feelings but i am like actually so incredibly hurt by the way this happened

i wish i at least got a message saying that he was done talking to me. i have too much experience with this and it hurts so fucking bad

i’m sorry i’m not a perfect person to talk to and message ☹️

i promise that hurting someone’s feelings is never ever what i want to do

anyway. i’m gonna be fucking crying all day

#blocked me on Apple Music too😭 like what the fuck :(#i just couldn’t reply all the time. ☹️#ugh i don’t want to feel this sad about this

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scrollypoly · 2 months

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Stirringjuice is trans guys, stop spreading false info that they're transphobic. I think its really odd that Alex dropped being trans saying it was a joke, that makes me upset that he called being trans a joke, like that should raise red flags. There are unfortunately people who fetishize trans people and being trans, that's what Kister was doing.

Edit: hey nvmd on that first sentence, i spent an hour writing up my thoughts on that document and tumblr ate it! So now i have to re type all of that and im pissed :)

I just finished reading the document and reblogged my post, so if you want to see my whole thoughts, theres that, but im gonna respond to this instead of deleting it like i was going to.

Hi! Im also trans. Being transgender does not absolve you from making transphobic or transmisogynistic comments. And there was definitely transmisogynistic rhetoric that was used as an argument against Alex's case. It does not matter how Alex ultimately identifies as, as in the time where they presented as transfeminine, simple comments about their clothing with no implication were called predatory, their presentation as feminine was called predatory. And i wont lie, we cant even see how they were dressing in those pictures that they gave, because the entire photo was censored out. Why use a photo as evidence of fetishistic or predatory behavior if we cant even see the photo?

I do think Alex did have inappropriate interactions with people in that server. But them simply dressing femininely and saying they want to be feminine or a girl is not anything inappropriate or predatory.

As for Alex saying it was a joke, I said in my prior post that i didnt really believe what they said here, and i think that for a couple reasons. One, Alex seemed pretty genuinely engaged with their presentation and seemed happy and comforted with their presentation. And two, Alex's mental health patterns have shown that they are a person who clings to the comforts and support they can get from people, and also shows that they are a person who isnt grounded with their self very much. So rather than looking at an out of context screenshot . . .

. . . Im going to look at the pattern of behavior that i see and draw my conclusions for that. And even if Alex isn't transfemme or just likes crossdressing, theres nothing wrong with that either. Theres nothing wrong with dressing femininely, whether you are feminine or not.

Youre still allowed to be hurt by his statements, you can have your personal feelings about everything thats happened. But I am too, and im gonna point it out when i see harmful rhetoric used

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vampire-fanboy · 5 months

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Rock Trolls shouldn't of been the ones to want to "unite" everyone by making everyone the same as them

said this earlier on twitter but seems easier to say/explain on tumblr idk why anyway

on twitter i said:

"can i speak for a second and say I wish in the second movie it wasn't the rock trolls trying to make everyone the same? its exactly what punk irl isn't about (rock came from punk) idk, I feel it could've been more interesting too if it was a diff type"

(i think some of the things i said there was incorrect like rock coming from punk but who knows i get my timelines mixed up sometimes LOL if that is incorrect ignore i sowy) anyway

i was thinking abt that again bc i think its interesting and like... to talk about it more here like- hm... idk

(click read more or something if you're genuinely interested in this lol)

i wish in the second trolls movie that the rock trolls was not the ones to be trying to make everyone the same as them, i can't begin to describe that is the entire opposite of what "rock" really is, or at least the type of rock they was displaying is the opposite of what it is

they was leaning a bit into the "punk rock" typa vibe with them due to their designs and such, the music not so much but design wise they feel like they lean towards punk rock, and if thats the case we can assume that "rock" in the movie also encapsulates "punk"

so with that being said it bugs me just a tad bit, that rock of all of them was used to be the ones to be like "we want to make everyone like us! make everyone the same to unite us!" bc thats so far from what actual punk is, in fact the whole thing about punk is to go against authority and express ourselves (yk, our differences)

ik im probably nitpicking a bit but i grew up with a punk for a dad (as in he was literally around when punk was formed, 1970's) LOL, its been apart of my life it is apart of my life so i know a bit about punk culture and what they stand for

SO IDK at the end of the day i dont really care, its a kids movie and i can see by default why they chose rock out of their options to be such a role for the movie, but idk! it just makes me a wee tiny intsy bit :( as punk literally does not stand for uniformity, it fights against systems that wants us to all be the same, it fights for individualism

but w/e, punk has that "aesthetic" that makes it easy to be like "wow theyre intense" bc visually they can be intense LOL, they're also easy to paint as """the bad guys""" due to their aesthetic (big quotes around the bad guys as more near the end as we know barb wasnt really trying to be evil, nor in general are the rock trolls aggressive and/or evil inherently)

anyway to end this off i love barb and i love the rock trolls, theyre so awesome i wish we had more time to develop barb a little bit more felt like she didnt get the screentime she deserved imo, live laugh love barb i dont express my adoration for her enough

if i delete this sorry i got anxious i dont expect this to get attention but if it does (positive or negative) im going to delete it (i have bad social anxiety)

soz if you did find this interesting and i delete it blehh

#issak.txt #trolls #trolls dreamworks #rock trolls #barb #queen barb #anyway dont take this so seriously bc at the end of the day idgaf enough #its a kids movie with a REALLY good message about differences along with history and much more #and i loveee it <3 i love the second movie sm its REALLY good #dont think people give it enough credit sometimes honestly #but yeah just a very minor small nitpick of mine #at the end of the day i dont care that they chose rock trolls for that specific role #im just overly aware of punk and what it means to be punk #im going to delete this post if this gets too much attention btw i got bad social anxiety #and im not up to debating/discussing things tonight. im tired #k bai

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underratedandoverit · 10 months

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Speak My Mind

“i need you now” kisses with orangekip :3c - requested by @midnightpretenders0

“i need you now” kisses: them fisting your shirt into their palms, your hands under their shirt, cold fingertips against their skin, and panting, moving down from their lips to their neck, soft moans that turn louder, shirts being pulled off haphazardly (from this list by @jasminesfury)

~2,5k words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

okay if you saw me post this a few days ago lets pretend you didnt. i put it back in the burner after not really liking it and then i got an idea how to add to it so now its back and its better and yeah i do like it a lot more. also i deleted the original post and accidentally drafted the reblogged version so i cant reply to the ask again or edit the original so heres a new post sorry

it starts fluffy, it develops into something more heated, moves to a hurt/comfort territory and ends with comfortable levels of body worship and comfort/fluff. i marked this as mature on ao3 but it doesnt really go anywhere that deep, but just in case since it touches some topics.

cw: body image issues and whatever kind of extreme fluff body worship brings. its not like explicit at all, but you know.

(im also hesitantly going to put out a request for feedback for this one like. i dont want constructive criticism, i would just like to hear what you think if you read it. with this one it would mean a lot as im extremely unsure how i feel about it. so if you could spare a word or two after reading it would be very appreciated ✌)

@stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

on ao3

---------------------------

Cassidy’s fingers curled around the coils of Kip’s hair absentmindedly, watching the television screen from the corner of his eye without really paying attention to what was happening on it. He was unfamiliar with the game Kip had picked but enjoyed observing it every now and then nonetheless, for what little attention he was able to pay to the bright colors and fast moving objects. Or maybe it really was that Cassidy enjoyed spending time with Kip, no matter what he was doing.

At least the game seemed to be less hectic than the stuff he usually played, as was suggested by the much calmer presence Kip had sitting on the floor in front of the couch, and the much less frequent use of curse words. He still occasionally let out a few curses or otherwise loud, grumbling noises when faced with difficulties, but Cassidy playing with his hair seemed to help calm him down rather quickly whenever that happened.

They existed in the living room in perfect harmony, one’s presence in the room calming the other, just sitting there doing their own things as Cassidy scrolled through his phone with his other hand.

Pausing the game, Kip straightened his back, stretching his arms over his head, landing one of them on top of Cassidy’s as he brought them back down. Interlacing their fingers together Kip carefully tilted his head back, looking at the blond with a smile as Cassidy continued to play with his hair, still trying to focus on his phone.

But without the sunglasses Kip could see the softening look in his eyes and the small smile tucking in the corner of his lips, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“Clementine?”

Cassidy still didn’t look back at him, but let out a quiet sound of acknowledgment. Kip carefully squeezed the hand he was holding with his own.

“I love you.”

Cassidy finally broke eye contact with his phone, shifting his gaze to the Brit, watching Kip looking at him basically upside down with his head tilted back against the couch cushion. It wasn’t a new thing for Kip to be telling him this, or to break the news at a random moment, but something about this very moment he decided to do it yet again it felt genuine. Serene.

Before Cassidy could speak up, Kip carefully pushed himself off from the floor, not so carefully moving to the couch as he basically flopped on top of Cassidy who had just been lounging on the couch so far. Kip just chuckled at his slightly annoyed groan, wrapping arms around the blond’s midsection as he buried his face into the crook of his neck, letting out a sigh. He got so comfortable so fast that Cassidy didn’t even have time to stop him, just accepting that Kip was there now, acting almost like a weighted blanket on him.

Shaking his head a little, Cassidy could feel his lips twisting into a soft smile though as he ran a hand through Kip’s hair again.

“I love you too.”

The content sound Kip let out sounded almost like purring to him, vibrating through Cassidy’s entire being. He was sure Kip could feel his heart rate accelerating against his own chest, as he could feel the smile on the Brit’s lips against the skin of his neck. Kip didn’t say anything, but it was fairly obvious, especially based on the soft sounds he continued to make as he pressed a soft kiss on Cassidy’s neck.

“Clementine.”

His voice was barely louder than a whisper, peppered with kisses as Kip continued to shower him in small pecks of affection, carefully tracking his neck up to his jaw. Cassidy’s breathing tightened a bit as he felt Kip’s hands moving from underneath him, crawling up his sides onto his chest, carefully tucking on the front of the white t-shirt he was wearing.

Kip sat up, easily straddling him, hands pressed on Cassidy’s chest as Kip smiled down at him, tilting his head to the side a little, almost acting coy in the moment. Cassidy ditched the phone from his hand, arms wrapping around Kip’s waist, hands slowly sneaking up to his neck as he carefully pulled the Brit lower until they were face to face.

Kip chuckled at him a little, but the soft blush lingering on his face from Cassidy taking the control was very obvious.

“My,” Kip whispered, leaning closer to press a little kiss on Cassidy’s lips. “Sweet.” Another kiss. “Little.” Kiss. “Clemen--”

He couldn’t finish the last word before Cassidy yanked him close, pressing their lips together. His hand brushing into Kip’s hair and the back of his head pulled him closer, the almost embarrassingly unintentional moan Kip let out against his mouth allowing Cassidy to deepen the kiss. Kip obviously didn’t mind it, but his hands grabbing onto the chest of Cassidy’s shirt with such noticeable force were a clear indication that maybe he desired something more.

Kip barely let go of the shirt as Cassidy finally pulled them apart, both audibly catching their breath. The blush had definitely gotten stronger on Kip’s face, cheeks glowing red as he rested his forehead against Cassidy’s, eyes closed, trying to calm himself down. This was what he had intended, sure, but the intensity still always caught him off guard when it came to Cassidy. He wasn’t used to this, this being one of the few activities his boyfriend decided to show eagerness to participate in.

“Cle-clementine…”

Cassidy smiled at him, hands running through Kip’s hair and down to his neck, gently nudging the neckline of his shirt. It was fairly obvious what he wanted, Kip obliging as he pushed away from Cassidy’s face, helping him pull off the shirt. As he sat there on top of the blond, eyes still closed as Kip was trying his best to still compose himself after the air that had been knocked out of him with the first kiss, he could feel gentle fingertips against his exposed skin as Cassidy traced them along his abs, climbing up to his chest.

“Has anyone told you before how hot you are?”

Kip’s brows furrowed a bit at the sudden shift of the tone, eyes opening as he looked down at Cassidy, the bright blue eyes staring back at him almost too intensely again. Kip swallowed thickly, trying not to think about the question too much, but he carefully shook his head after a moment.

“No, not really. Not like… This, I guess.”

“Well,” Cassidy smiled at him, almost a smirk forming in the corner of his mouth as his hands firmly planted themselves onto Kip’s chest. “I do. I think you’re hot.”

Kip could feel his whole face heating up, surely Cassidy could feel his racing heartbeat through his chest as well. He watched as the blond smiled, the look almost unbearably adorable on his face, his hands sliding down Kip’s sides as he took in the sight of his boyfriends unclothed upper body sitting on top of him.

“I think you’re really hot,” Cassidy mumbled, averting eyes with Kip as he was now slightly blushing as well, a soft pink shade covering his face as his hands slid down to Kip’s thighs. The Brit just turned his face away, almost ashamed at the sudden compliments as he felt Cassidy’s fingertip drumming against his toned legs.

“…Shut up.”

Cassidy chuckled at him softly, hands easily slipping to Kip’s lower back from their previous position, making the other man noticeably shiver against the touch.

“I mean it though.”

“…No you don’t.”

Cassidy’s hands stopped, brows furrowing a little as he glanced up at Kip’s face, noticing the look that the Brit still wasn’t returning to him, biting his lower lip as he looked almost ashamed to be in the position he was in. This was far from the first time they had been like this, and yet this time specifically had triggered something in Kip that obviously made him more uncomfortable than he led on.

“Kip--”

“It’s fine,” he stated, cutting Cassidy off, hands finally letting go of the t-shirt he had been holding onto this entire time, Kip trying to push himself off of the blond. He got up on his feet, Cassidy quickly sitting up on the couch, hand reaching for Kip, grabbing a hold of his wrist.

“Wait. What’s wrong?”

Kip didn’t turn back towards him, he just stood there, feeling the burning sensation of Cassidy’s hand around his wrist, holding him in place. He didn’t try to fight it, but it was obvious how much Kip wanted to just walk away from all of this, despite not making the full effort to do so. Cassidy wasn’t going to let him go though, knowing that whatever it was that pushed him over the edge like this, it had something to do with him, considering how fine Kip had been with all of this just moments before.

“Hey.” Cassidy gently tucked Kip’s arm, carefully pulling him back on the couch. Kip obliged, sitting down, eyes still averting looking back at Cassidy, the blushing having turned into shame he didn’t want to share with him. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for, but it felt like the right move. Kip took in a sharp breath, but remained silent. Cassidy carefully observed the side of his face, trying to read half of the look he could see, honestly focusing more on the racing heartbeat of Kip’s that he could feel through the hold he had of his wrist.

“...I still mean what I said though.”

Kip tensed up at his words, just as Cassidy thought. So this was really what it was about. Before Kip could argue with him, Cassidy let go of his wrist, shifting on the couch as he pushed himself up, easily straddling Kip’s lap. Much to his surprise the other man wasn’t trying to push him away, but Kip still avoided eye contact, almost as if he was just playing along to let Cassidy do his thing and be happy about it more than anything else.

With a soft smile on his lips, Cassidy’s hand gently cupped Kip’s cheek with one hand, carefully turning his face towards him. Kip’s eyes almost immediately fell down and away from his, but Cassidy tried not to let it discourage him. Instead he grabbed a hold of Kip’s right hand, watching his eyes follow along with it as Cassidy lifted it up to his face, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it.

“I love you,” he stated softly, pressing another kiss on the back of Kip’s hand. “I love every inch of you.”

Kip didn’t stop him this time, Cassidy taking it as a good sign as he kissed his knuckles before peppering little kisses on each of his fingers. “The way you move your fingers is… Mesmerizing.”

He could feel that Kip wanted to pull his hand away from him after that statement, but Cassidy firmly kept his hold, moving to gently kissing Kip’s fingertips, Cassidy’s voice was barely louder than a whisper between each kiss. “I love the way your touch is always so gentle even when you don’t intend it to be so.”

Kip just watched him, quietly, as Cassidy proceeded to kiss up his hand and then his tattooed arm before reaching his shoulder, leaning slightly closer to his ear until the hot breath tickled him slightly, sending shivers down Kip’s spine.

“The way you’re decorated makes you such a work of art I can’t stop admiring you.”

“Orange, please.”

Cassidy pulled away a little, trying not to let the rare usage of his name rather than the affectionate nickname that escaped from Kip’s lips bother him, pressing a quick kiss on his lips instead. “Shh. I love your voice, but not now.”

As Kip fell silent again, slightly taken aback by Cassidy’s almost assertive behavior, the blond pressed a soft peck on his cheek. “When you laugh and your dimples are showing, it drives me insane.”

He could both feel and hear Kip’s breathing tightening up with each word, but Cassidy was far from being done as he carefully kissed the Brit on the eyelid he closed on instinct as Cassidy got close, trying to ignore the mild taste of salt he was getting back. “The intensity in your eyes makes them sparkle brighter than the stars in the night sky.”

As Cassidy moved over to the other eye, not only was he able to taste them, but the tears were visible this time as well. He didn’t want to stop, having the feeling in his heart how important that moment was, but Cassidy gave Kip a moment to process everything before he leaned in again, for another soft kiss on the other eyelid.

“When you look at me, I feel like the most loved person in the world.” Cassidy pulled away, leaning closer to press a kiss, slow and methodical this time, on Kip’s lips again. “And I want you to feel that too.”

Kip didn’t say anything, but Cassidy was able to see the floodgates truly open just before Kip leaned closer, burying his face into the blond’s chest, letting out an audible sob. A soft smile crossed Cassidy’s lips as his arms wrapped around him, pulling Kip as close to him as possible, hand running through his hair slowly as his other hand rubbed his back.

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

They sat there, in each other's arms, for a good while as Kip just quietly cried into Cassidy’s shirt, the muffled sobs melting his heart. As bad as making Kip act like this was making him feel, something in Cassidy told him that he sorely needed this. They didn’t talk about it a lot, but he knew Kip worked extra hard to keep up with his appearance and yet rarely got compliments on it, for whatever reason he really didn’t understand. What Cassidy didn’t know was that it was such a taboo subject for him that this was going to be the reaction to it, but at the same time he was happy that they got to this point.

If anything, he was able to say the things in a way he truly felt and meant directly to him. It wasn’t about proving a point, it was about showing Kip that Cassidy actually cared.

After a while Kip’s sobs quieted down, his face still buried in Cassidy’s chest as he leaned closer, pressing a little kiss in the Brit’s hair, getting a soft whine back from him.

“…Clementine.” His voice was barely a whisper, but the return of that nickname made Cassidy smile just a little bit wider. “I love you.”

Cassidy’s arms unwrapped from around him, the blond leaning slightly away to put some space between the two of them before his hands reached for Kip’s face, carefully lifting it up to look at him. Cassidy’s heart fluttered a little at the glimmer of tears in his eyes, but more importantly at the soft smile now crossing Kip’s lips as well. The Brit was the first one to lean closer, it being his turn to steal a kiss from Cassidy’s lips.

“I love you too.”

#fic #request #character: kip sabian #character: orange cassidy #ship: orangekip #aew fanfiction #wrestling fanfiction

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vhvrs · 6 months

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oh my gawddddd i know i already went off in the tags abt it but SERIOUSLYYYY that pmv is so so sooo incredible. like i saw it 12 hrs ago now and im still in like stunned shock abt it. super super awesome. if u have any fun like behind the scenes info abt it id love to hear but if not just… WOWWW thanks so much for making it even. life changing genuinely

EEP THANK YOU. SO SO MUCH!!! thank you so much i got into a crazy fixation state making it in time n was worried abt the end result bc of it as the died but!! incredible relief now. going to babble at u for a sec as my form of gratitude gbgbvb

id share my thumbnails but i kindve deleted them bc they were lagging my phone + i tend to delete them for my pvs BUT i do still have this video here of the wip version of it i made w them! my process is really just lie in bed for hrs to the song thinking -> making thumbnails -> putting the thumbnails together in whatever (i used capcut in this case) to create a template ready to be inserted w the finals -> uhhh make the finals!

was trickier bc i cut like a minute of the song for the sake of the.... story?? of the pv flowing better. specifically the part where the song glitches out over prime lunging at c137 + where rick sees the beths. and bc i do NOT think i could do a 3min pv. ive never done one this long b4 as is fhfgvb

theres also arrow cues in the wip so i can complain abt how annoying it is capcut doesnt have a simple slide or zoom feature. i really wanted to have the living room & evil rick on the ground frames slide -_- this is also why the zooms kindve stutter bc i had to combine a zoom in and zoom out effect. but i have to cope w the programs im using

oh heres the variants flashing part bc in order to have it actually zoom how i wanted i had to make them a separate video to import in

BTW. THUMBNAILS (1st not finished bc it was from an old file but rest recovered from trash) (u can see i was actually planning to do the full song. the final page is misc glitch frames bc i had realized i didnt have enough)

SORRY if thats way too much info i can talk abt any specifics too but i always wanna share my process w stuff so fhvbb thank you for asking + again for the epic words o7

#marsbotz #dork art

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jiilys · 1 year

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deleted scenes deleted scenes

going to shamelessly use this to talk about worthy punishments behind the scenes

at the top of the document i have 'troubles always gunna find you baby / but so am i' from western nights by ethel cain because literally. thats them

heres a bunch of random sentences that got cut because i never built the scenes to go around them:

Sirius, in charge of paying literally one bill, realised he forgot when the kitchen light went out. Lily told him not to open the fridge and they ate bread for dinner, sat on the kitchen floor with candles on. She would have taken a picture, only her phone had run out of battery three hours ago and she couldn’t open her laptop without seeing the thesis document and feeling sick.

"James sent you a pie but I ate it" Sirius said, holding the pie box and not even looking guilty.

The masters she was meant to do in two years she was now going to do in three, sat on the phone with uni administrators trying to explain how her brain felt laden with cement, unusable actually, and she needed the time to figure out how to be a person again. Sirius, mysteriously, would always appear with a biscuit packet at the end of these conversations, and, after a particularly horrible one, a bottle of tequila he’d had delivered, and she chewed him out for spying but not really.

They pulled the tattoo gun out out over the next few months, mostly keeping to his back and arms, easily coverable. His visa case number. A crudely drawn square. ‘Jimmy’ in a heart with a cross through it. They got really drunk once and Lily almost wrote ‘sense and senseabitch’ but they couldn’t figure out how to spell it (senseabitch or senseabitchity).

Something James had said to him once, after doing something insane to impress lily in school: I heard her voice, what was I supposed to do?

Sirius has spent his life being distracting. It is, in fact, maybe the only thing he is good at.

heres sirius getting a haircut. i have no idea why i didnt put this in i think i forgot:

“It needs more off the top.”

“You just said that.”

“It still needs it.”

“How can you even see the top?” Sirius accused.

“It looks weird–“

“It’s gunna– Lily!–“

Lily had taken a large chunk of his hair and was carefully cutting against the comb, “he’s right, there’s too much at the top.”

“Oh my god–“

“It was making you look like a poodle.” James added.

“You’re mixing your metaphors.” Sirius said, shortly, “Before you said I looked like I’d been lost at sea for ten years.”

“Okay Lily, you looked like both.”

“I looked like a poodle at sea?”

“He’s mixing his similes, not metaphors.” Lily corrected, absently.

“Are you done?” Sirius asked.

“No.”

“Remus said you were looking slightly caveman the other day.” James added.

“You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

“Honestly,” James grinned, “Massively so, yeah.”

Lily stepped back, squinting. “Okay, I think the left side is quite a lot shorter than the right.”

“Brilliant, cheers Evans.”

“Let me see” James said, craning his neck on facetime, “I need screenshots for the group chat.”

“Christ.”

here's a scene i wrote ages ago and cut because i couldnt think of a better joke for the last bit, even though parts of it are okay:

Sirius was having a cigarette for breakfast when Lily walked in and sat at his desk and said “I think we need to spice things up”

“In what sense?”

“In our relationship.”

Sirius, overwhelmed with joke opportunities, genuinely couldn’t pick one and missed the window. “Okay,” Lily got up, clearly reading his expression, “I want to start this again.”

“No, wait–“

“No, I’m not giving you a chance–“ she said, leaving. She then immediately walked back in. “I think we should–“

“Spice things up in what sense?”

“We started this conversation again.”

“I didn’t,” Sirius said, “Are you finally propositioning me? Because I’m afraid you couldn’t afford me.”

“I was literally just going to suggest we go a day without talking so we would actually have stuff to catch up on the next day, but now I don’t think one day not speaking is enough.”

“Oh,” Sirius feigned disappointment, “My ideas were way kinkier than that.”.

“You just said I couldn’t afford you.”

“I’ll give you a discount.”

“Hard pass.”

“Snob.”

Lily stood up, “This entire conversation has been pointless, I’ll see you at dinner.”

“I can’t believe you just came into my room to tell me you didn’t want to speak to me anymore.”

“AndI turned down your prostitution offer.”

“You are a shit mate. James would’ve taken me up on it.”

“Yeah, well, he’s still got some start-up money.” Lily called, rounding the door.

also this:

They have a huge fight about whose turn it is to vacuum, full yelling, Sirius banging kitchen cabinets, Lily’s voice going hoarse. She goes in her room and tries to call James but the line is busy, which probably means Sirius is talking to him. This is so annoying that Lily goes and bangs on his door and tells him to hang up, Sirius yells back that he’s not even on the phone with him, which Lily immediately outs as a lie when she barges in the room. Sirius continues to lie loudly that it isn’t him and James puts on a high voice for ten minutes, fabricating an elaborate backstory until it’s just all of them –Lily standing, Sirius spread on his bed, James’ voice –talking shit for an hour until Remus comes looking, and then he joins in. That’s the day.

heres this random exchange:

"I wouldn’t mind going to jail"

"What if Remus wasn’t around to bail you out" Lily countered

"That would never happen." Sirius said, eating a donut for some reason.

they were going to have a big fight. it was actually one of the first things i wrote for it, and its not bad, but i couldnt have remus appendix/lilys thesis crisis/sirius depression stuff AND this. too angsty. anyway here it is:

Lily let him ring three times, before picking up on the fourth.

“You are fucking shite–“

“It’s your turn for coffee–“

“It’s nine am! You have never been awake at nine am! Fuck off!” She hung up.

The phone rang twice. She picked up fourth ring, third call.

“I said-“

“First of all, nine am is not an unreasonable time to call someone, secondly, when you were banging pots at all hours last week not sleeping and making some typically heinous bullshit I did all the dishes and said nothing because that’s my end of the deal, and for the record not all of us have the luxury of operating on English time one-hundred-fucking-percent of their blessed life, some of us are having to conduct company bullshit in a time-zone for a country they can’t even enter, and have been awake for four hours, and had to get out bed today. Grow up Evans.”

The dial tone was a knife.

Lily made the coffee, and walked into Sirius on mute on zoom, glaring furiously at a notepad. He looked up when she walked in, looking a little guilty and mostly defensive.

“I thought about spitting in this.” She held out the coffee.

His shoulders relaxed a little. If she’d been another person, any other person, she wouldn’t have noticed, “Only thought about?”

“Yeah. Sorry for last week.”

“Sorry for about five minutes ago.”

She shrugged, “Nine a.m. isn’t an unreasonable time.”

“Your cooking isn’t that heinous.”

“Liar.” Lily gave him the coffee, “How is the meeting?”

“Vitally important, so I’ve had them on mute for ten minutes.”

She smiled and hit the unmute button on his laptop. Voices burst in, Remus, half-arguing about system design, two unknown voices trying to shout him down

‘no murders’ she mouthed at him, backing out of the room.

He grinned, winked at her. Turning back to the screen: “Oi, let Lupin finish what he was saying–“

i rewrote that sirius depression scene a hundred times, i can't even tell you. a million versions of it exist and still i dont know if its right

lily was going to say this: “No I don’t” Lily took the bottle out of his hands, “You are not wrong, you’re brilliant. There is no charity, nothing works without you”

or this would happen:

No, no” Lily said, easing the bottle out of his hand,

“I’m weight. You can’t keep trying to bail me out. You can’t fix it”

“Whose trying to fix it? That’s impossible. But you can tell me.”

“Doesn’t do anything.”

“Yes it does,” Lily, stubborn, always, to the blood, “You know it does. Its the only thing that really does work, it’s just hard to remember. You’re not charity, or weight, no one’s bailing you out. We love you. I love you. And if that’s bailing you out then fine, that’s for free forever.”

alternately this would happen: Sirius wasn’t there for any reason other than he was bored at the bar and James was in the business of throwing lifeboats to people he loved. And Sirius always needed the lifeboat, the saving, the pulling back. Lily dragged him to every meeting, made sandwiches, wakes him up. Remus bullied him onto every call. Their club was the only one he ever wanted to be in, but that could not be enough forever. Without them he falls into Regulus’ crowd, dead in a tunnel somewhere, speed-racing. Remus hated that. James too. Sirius loved going fast

anyway there were so many. lily was also going to say this at one point but i never built a scene around it:

"Theres nothing more stupid than marrying your high school boyfriend but im going to do that"

all of the lily and sirius stuff at the end is inspired by this one line in my notes: it's weird. i don't remember the bad stuff. you were there.

also lowkey very proud of this title like when i thought of it i was like oh my god

anyway i have to run, talk more soon abt this stupidly large thing!!

#retirement lmao #worthy punishments

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sleepgarden · 9 months

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I would love to hear more about that quote if you’re comfortable sharing!!

Yes! Okay I'll write it under a readmore- content warnings for abuse and trauma, in this specific case sexual. ...It ended up very long, I'm sorry >< !! I hope it all makes sense at least.

Now that I'm actually about to write it I realize how much context i need to give, so I'll try to do it as simply as possible but this is actually the first time im talking about this piece in depth, so it may still be a little messy..

At the time of making the piece I was at the end of a very long and hurtful relationship. During that relationship I was coerced, taken advantage of, and had my decline of consent ignored (that's one way to put it.. its hard to talk about lol). The timeline leading up to the illustration is hard to explain, but some time before is when i started accepting that i was trans. I allowed myself to see me as i am, explore my identity, approach my own thoughts/feelings with curiosity instead of fear. I gained a lot of confidence in that time (at least, compared to what i had before!) but i kept it a secret from my then-partner as they werent exactly accepting. With this newfound confidence though I expressed some desires to them that they gave a very clear and solid no to, so I immediately dropped it and moved on. (I should also say, i never really asked for anything in that relationship before. The things my partner did made me think that i was asexual for years, lmao) Later, nearing the end of it, is when i started realizing how truly awful the things they did were and how deeply it affected me. I felt like I had given (been taken from, actually) so much and had nothing to show for it. I also had the realization when thinking back about when I myself asked for something too but was told no, just how easy it was to accept that. In fact is was impossible to imagine not accepting it and getting them to do what i wanted anyways.

So to now explain the phrase "and now with thorns of his own, its the roses call to endure" The thorns are the shift of the dynamic, where as before the rose was the only one with them, the character in the illustration had now grown his own. Equally awful to touch or be touched by. He calls on the rose to endure just as he did. But, of course, I didnt feel that way. I would never want to do that to someone. I could never expect that from them, you know? How could I? And thats just it- thats where the anger came from: How could they?

The realization of what its like on the other end to be told "no" and to imagine pushing them to deal with it regardless was infuriating. The illustration calls on the rose to endure, but the anger in the piece is about asking it to do so. It's such an impossible thing to imagine doing, but something that I experienced for years. I was angry with myself for going through that, I was angry with them for everything they did, and i put it all in that illustration. It was genuinely one of the most healing illustrations ive ever made, and i officially ended the relationship soon after.

With all illustrations there really is more to it than can be said with a blanket explanation like that. But the major emotional force was driven by those things, if that makes sense? I am glad people can connect to this piece or see themself in their own way, however they interpret it. I've had people say they feel seen with it, or that its satisfying to them, and it fills my heart so much that it aches. As i said before, its bittersweet, but so meaningful to me.

I wrote this earlier today and while reviewing the draft I see how messy it is, but I'm going to post anyways! I apologize if it's incoherent- it's hard to tall about complex emotions like that. And due to how personal it is (the most personal I've ever been online I think) I'll delete it sometime in the future. Anyways, thank you again for reaching out about it! I don't get a chance to talk about my work very often. ♡

Thank you anyone who ready all that as well!

#Very messy and some parts aren't clear but it's okay. The gist is there I think #Have a wonderful day ♡

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pixeljade · 3 months

Text

Idk. I mean on the one hand threatening the CEO while saying "I wonder what itll take to get me banned" DOES fall under Play Stupid Games Win Stupid Prizes, but. I still have a lot more sympathy for Predstrogen than Photomatt in all this.

I get that threats of violence are never okay but enforcement has been alarmingly selective over Tumblr's history. Yeah Photomatt blames that on an "external contractor" but that doesnt let Tumblr off the hook imo, thats still a choice you made. You DECIDED to contract with them, and therefore you should take some responsibility, and not just shrug it off as someone else's doing. Foisting responsibility onto others is a very VERY childish move, up there with naming a company after yourself!

The reality is, as a trans woman online, I've been chased off one platform after another, while watching cis people who do the same shit as me get away with it endlessly. I got doxxed by Nazis on twitter way back when, you wanna know how Twitter protected me? By recommending I block the user. I got harassed so heavily during that era that I ended up having to delete my account, setting back my career YEARS, just to get a bit of peace.

Now here on Tumblr I've been slightly safer, but I still get death threats, suicide suggestions. And I've had a LOT of those continue on without a hitch on technicalities. "Technically they didnt tell you to kill yourself, they just told you to join the 41%, which could mean ANYTHIIIIING". 🙄 Still, I gave them the benefit of the doubt, because my work and life experience has shown me that moderation of communities is a tricky thing: make one move that could be viewed as overstepping policy or making exceptions, and you open yourself to lawsuits. I know this, I have written policy and enforced it in different spaces.

But the answer in these cases is to update your policies to clarify, not to continue blindly following these bad policies. And, in situations wherein a person with a platform DOES seem to be sending death threats over a genuine misunderstanding, maybe try talking it out with them first??? Does your policy not take that into account Photomatt? Every policy I've ever seen on user code of conduct allows for discussion. So why not just talk it out with Predstrogen and clear up the misunderstanding instead of deleting her account and threatening to call the cops on her?

@photomatt that post comes across to me (and seemingly the greater trans community here) as immensely tonedeaf. Predstrogen made a frankly extremely unserious "threat post" about you (car covered in hammers? Really? This sounds like a real threat to you?) most likely angry over some misunderstanding over the management of this site (something which transfem people are IMMENSELY on guard regarding because well, have YOU SEEN THE NEWS LATELY), and you decided to react by hitting her with a ban, no appeals allowed, and *threatening to call the cops on her*??? It straight up feels like you didnt even try to empathize, to recognize your privilege, to understand, none of that. And you may be thinking reading this "I shouldnt have to do that while being threatened!" But again, the threat example you use is not one which is really actionable on Preds part. Its a *joke*, albeit a poorly chosen one.

I did see a post this morning that said "if Photomatt saw the kind of death threats I receive daily he'd throw up" or smth to that effect, and god thats the truth here. If you want to prove otherwise then stop this crusade and talk it out like an adult.

Or you can just ban me too. If ya do you'll be setting back another trans woman's career. In case he does, mutuals, find me on bluesky, @cosmotropic.bsky.social! Because frankly I wouldnt be surprised if the lashback here causes another purge. Photomatt, do better or not, you have the choice here.

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powerpolyculeshowdown · 1 year

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hey i don't wanna be anti-fun or anything ofc but i wanted to mention that im pretty sure the art in this ask (post/711275984107798528/) is drawn by nelnal, who personally views sweet cap'n cakes as siblings! they said ppl can hc what they want with their character designs, but i feel like putting art of them by someone who views them as siblings on the polycule showdown isn't very good, idk - more of just a personal comfort ghhfhhghfg

i dont personally follow nelnal, but what other ppl told me is that they used the term brothers as likely a mistranslation of bros and later corrected that mistake? was that misinfo?

that aside, if the artist themself said they're comfortable with any headcanon, i don't really see a problem w reinterpreting their art. I'd agree w you if nelnal had said they're against the romantic headcanon, but you and others have said they dont mind, so i think its ok.

Like for example if someone drew fanart and said no shipping, and someone sent me that without me being aware of the original artists request i would absolutely go and delete the post!! the only reason i dont think its necessary in this case is nelnal having said they dont mind other headcanons

still if it makes u uncomf and u feel better blockin/unfollowing pls feel comfortable to do so! i did just earlier go on my own vent about establishing and reinforcing boundaries, and i really dont want to make anyone uncomfortable, we just disagree on this (which is ok!!!)

the suggestion to unfollow was genuine btw i didnt mean it aggressively at all! i just dont want you to feel uncomfortable, y'know? but ofc ill be happy if you choose to stay too 💖

#polyasks

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foxcassius · 2 years

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it is so hard to feel like you have no hobbies and interests, and i feel like jiwon is going thru that rn. he recently decided playing starcraft tower defense mode is not a productive use of his time and deleted all his games off his computer but he didnt like replace them with anything so he's just bored a lot. he started going for walks but the sun goes down at 4:30 so it's pitch dark and freezing. i've been trying to encourage him to try something creative, namely painting bc he has seemed interested in it before, but he's like hesitant to get all the stuff you need to try it i think. but i've also noticed that when he calls me and i'm in my bed preparing to sleep, our conversations are very short and mostly full of silence. but he called me today while i was knitting and crocheting and we talked like nonstop, laughing and talking about different things. i guess you could make the case that when im in bed im like. sleepy. and therefore not good at conversation but genuinely i just think when you're actively doing something creative your brain is more alert and is happier and as such is easier to use for conversation. there's probably a research study somewhere about this. anyway, i'm thinking about getting him some stuff to start acrylic painting for no reason or occasion other than i love him and dont want him to feel stagnant and bored the way he does now.

#we could do it together it would be fun #t

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madohomurat · 2 years

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saying to a friend in a private email "women would like me more if i were born a woman" is not "admitting you only transitioned to get with lesbians." the fact that you say nothing about any of the actually bad things chris chan but did retweet from openly transphobic cis people spreading the lie that she admitted to not really being trans makes it clear what you really care about. You dont want to help her mother see justice, you want to not feel bad about treating other people's lives as reality tv. you dont "envy" people who dont know about chris chan because you had to go out of your way find out about her. no one forced you onto kiwifarms and made you read that shit. The kind of stalking that happened to chris chan happens constantly, and results in far more rape and assault than she is responsible for. her being a bad person doesnt justify any of that. the people who stalked her will continue to stalk countless others the same way, and people like you will feign disgust while eating it up

anon, in all honesty 99% of what i know about chris-chan is word of mouth from friends among other things. i actually dont know what kiwifarms is ive never been there. i genuinely do wish i didnt know anything about chris-chan. i havent been following the case either, i just saw the trending tag on twitter.

i didn't actually know i had retweeted from someone openly transphobic, either, and i apologize for that. i suppose i take peoples word for it solely because im not comfortable going out of my way to research her life even further because again i wish i didnt know anything about it in the first place.

but i can reason that even commenting about it as well as retweeting stuff spreading information that ive never bothered to verify the validity of isnt great of me or anyone else for that matter. i think i will go back and delete them from my twitter at least. i dont know who you are, anon, but im sorry if ive made you feel unsafe for those tweets. if you are someone i know, like a mutual or something, you can talk to me personally also, i dont want you to feel like this is something you have to say to me via anonymous ask. though i also understand if youre upset enough about this that you dont want to talk to me at all.

but i promise you im a very genuine person and you can talk to me about this more one to one, since i really dont know if this answer to your ask will provide you with any clarity or comfort regarding this. im sorry about this.

#cw rape #cw chris chan #cw transphobia

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checkers-dance · 2 years

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anyway after that we ended up talking about nct AND THIS LEADS ME TO THE FICS I WAS GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT BUT FORGOR. anyway, i was telling noxia abt how i remember discourse over the johnny/mark ship because people thought they "acted like brothers." so we ended up watching a video compilation of them (ill admit, i think they're kinda cute, they have this very dudebro x dudebro dynamic that i find really amusing). we read the comments and people are like genuinely terrified of admitting they like the ship its so fucked up 😭

so i got curious. i wanted to know if anyone had taken that idea and played with it. and yeah there were some incest fics IVNFJNJFNV. there was this one where johnny and mark hadn't seen each other and then when mark was asleep Stuff Happened. kinda messed up. and then there was another fic inspired by that one where the same thing thing happened but mark woke up and then they consensually fucked. good for them. im kinda obsessed with that idea ngl VBFJVNFJ.

anyway there was also some incest play so like not actual incest but still fun.

BUT THEN THERE'S THESE TWO THAT IM KINDA GENUINELY OBSESSED. BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN COMPLETED AND IT MAKES ME CRY, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

so the first one is this omegaverse fic where johnny goes in a rut at the same time mark goes into heat and bro. BRO. im such a fan of siblings doing stuff impulsively and then regretting it immediately and thats exactly what happened. neither of them were thinking straight so the next day they are both disoriented and confused and they both feel awful ITS SO GOOD, I NEED INCEST WITH GUILT AND COMPLICATED FEELINGS. but the fic hasnt been completed yet, and it was posted last year... im so scared it may never come back. i think im probably gonna dowload it just in case it gets deleted because i would not be able to handle it, im so attached.

AND THEN THE OTHER ONE.... i didnt think i would enjoy it much because it was dadson but bro. the writing is so good and the dynamic is so interesting. so basically mark is johnny's kid except he didnt know because it happened when he was a young teen and the mom never told him and gave up mark for adoption and its only now as an adult that hes making effort to contact his biological parents. (actually they meet when mark is like seventeen but they dont actually start interacting properly until mark is an adult). anyway, his adoptive parents turn out to be shit and they kick mark out because they find out hes gay. and also his ex was a dick and they broke up. he moves in with johnny and bro. they are so sweet. like they have this really interesting dynamic where they have a really cute familiar bond but then they also have a clearly romantic/sexual thing for each other thats also really loving and caring. BUT johnny isnt as happy about it as mark is because he wants mark to have a normal life eventually. but then he also indulges both mark and himself and then pulls away so mark is rlly messed up about it and it all ends up leading to this really bad argument between them. and then when johnny comes home mark is fucking GONE, HE LEFT, AND THERE'S JUST A NOTE TELLING HIM HE'S LEAVING, AND JOHNNY HAS NO IDEA WHERE HE IS. WHEN I TELL YOU I FELT PHYSICAL PAIN READING THAT, I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED AND THEN THIS HAPPENED, NOOOO. AND THATS THE LAST CHAPTER... THE FIC HASNT BEEN FINISHED YET.... IM SO FUCKED UP ABOUT IT.

NOOOOOOO NOT BOTH OF THE FICS BEING UNFINISHED.....AND THE CLIFFHANGER TOO....why are u so unlucky when it comes to this 😭. I hope at least one of them is continued. Also yes, please download the fics, it would be devastating to have a repeat of the jackson/jooheon fic deletion situation

And gjskfksjf, it seems like the discourse over this ship has spawned a lot of fucked up ideas in fic, I love that. The dead dove writers always win in the end <3

But hmmmm....dudebro4dudebro.....I was going to compare them to jookyun but I don't think either jooheon or changkyun can rlly be considered dudebros 😭

#asks

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