#I unfortunately am not built like that. but I hope everyone who does has a fun time

[nite-puff]

something small and quick for the first day of kiyotaka week because i couldn’t not do the fire prompt.

alt/close-up:

reblogs are greatly appreciated :D

#*pssst* I’m still taking drawing requests #thanks to everyone who gave me one so far #I just found out about today’s prompt and then blacked out #so I’ll get to the requests tomorrow #danganronpa #kiyotaka ishimaru #kiyondo ishida #kiyotakaweek2023 #kiyotaka week 2023 #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa fanart #doodlepuff #don’t expect me to do the rest of the week #I unfortunately am not built like that. but I hope everyone who does has a fun time #becuase our guy deserves it

[onlycosmere]

What book sequel are you STILL waiting for? 

marsh642: It's been weeks since Brandon Sanderson released a book. I hope he's doing ok /s

PattableGreeb: One day I hope to be like that guy output-wise. Not necessarily in terms of volume, but like, the sheer ability to just get into it and commit without much fuss.

erossthescienceboss: I’m a writer, and deeply envy his ability to work within a schedule and use his time. Has he ever experienced writers’ block? At all? Like, I’m in nonfiction — I don’t even do creative writing! Yet so often, it’s like pulling teeth.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is a great book for those of us prone to writers’ block and procrastination (I related to Anne’s writing struggles deeply, and often wonder if she has undiagnosed ADHD) but I’d love to read a Sanderson guide to Actually Writing and Getting Shit Done.

Brandon Sanderson: I'd say that what you do, in nonfiction, is a different beast than what I do. I find nonfiction like pulling teeth too, sometimes!

Of course, fiction can be like that too. I do experience writer's block, but I am fortunate in several ways. One is that I managed to build a very good work ethic during my unpublished years, one I was mostly able to maintain after going professional. I also found a multitude of strategies for dealing with writer's block that have been helpful.

Once in a while, a book just doesn't work, though, and I DO abandon it and get into a funk for a while.

Simple guide for me is:

1) Make manageable goals.

2) Write consistently, and develop habits. Long hours are not as good as consistent hours. Crunching on a book burns you out. Instead, I follow the Stephen King method of shooting for around 2k words a day.

3) If I get into a funk, write anyway, planning to throw those words away. Then re-read them the next day and see if they are actually terrible, or if I was in a funk. Most common result if the words are bad is this: writing them gives my brain something to fix, and it does, giving me a new scene to try. But if I just stop, and don't write the bad words, I get stuck.

4) In emergencies, having something fun and different to work on can give a breather. This is where the Secret Projects came from.

Good luck! Don't know if that helps, but I hope it's at least interesting.

xXCoffeeCreamerXx: Step 2 is where I get caught up. I know I need to build good habits, but I simply can’t get started/stay consistent enough to form those habits. So is there a tip 1.25, 1.5, 1.75?

Brandon Sanderson: There is, but it's unfortunately not going to be quite as useful. That's the step that is most likely to be the tough one, but diagnosing what is causing it is a little like trying to diagnose a disease from a headache. Basically anything can cause you to have trouble building the habits, and so general advice is tougher to give. The solution will really depend on your personal psychology.

How have you built other habits? What motivates you? (Loaded question, I know.) An easy trick is to put your writing time just before or after something you do every week already, and don't have trouble remembering to do. Have a weekly raid with the WoW team? Add writing in before it for two hours. Go to the gym on a Saturday? Build a playlist of mood music for your story, imagine it while there, then stop at a library/cafe always on the way home and write for a few hours as part of the weekly routine.

Involving others in your life can help. Telling them your goals, and getting their buy-in to make you responsible. Starting/joining a writing group (which isn't for everyone, mind you, but works for some of us) so you have a responsibility to submit can work too, depending on if you're the type who will fill bad not having something to share each week after you promised to do so.

Like the cafe suggestion above, a lot of people have more success building a habit if it's something they go out and do--rather than something they do at home, particularly if you're trying to write in a space where you ordinarily relax.

But really, there's a WHOLE lot going on inside of us in regards to motivation, and the individual brain brew is unique to us all. I am helped by keeping a spreadsheet of work done, so I can watch the numbers count up and see my progress. Others I know need a stick or a carrot. Others work on a yearly habit (writing during the summers as a teacher, for example) rather than a weekly one.

And all of that is assuming you're not avoiding writing for other reasons, such as performance anxiety, fear of the blank page, or a sense that something's wrong with your story you don't know how to fix.

Best of luck. Like I said, the advice here might not be as good/relevant as either of us would like. But maybe there's something in it you can take away.

#writing advice #long post #brandon sanderson #cfsbf #root #branderson

[theotherseapancakes]

Psssst. You mentioned no one cares about Philemon, but now I'm curious if you have any thoughts about his role in the games after he disappeared. And for sillies sake, does he have anything to do with the Dance games?

I have been waiting my entire life for this. Anon do you realize how verbose I'm going to get. DO YOU REALIZE? I hope you like read mores. Let me preface this with I am aware and have seen some popular theories, so I'm going to sidestep a lot of them and present one I've built since... well, I became a Persona fan as a teenager. MAJOR PERSONA SERIES SPOILERS LIKE THE ENTIRE THING OK? OK. yes even royal.

The P2 PSP additional scenario is so incredibly important and I think everyone missed the point of it. THE PERSONA 2 PSP ADDITIONAL TATSUYA SCENARIO!!!! It's beyond important, because it reveals to us Philemon can have more than one Avatar we know about, just like Nyarly. (Casual reminder he's like half the shopkeeps in P2. Time Count, anyone? Why was the Time Count so hot. Anyway.) Disclaimer: I'm just a casual fan who has played a LOT of Persona and SMT. I haven't gotten around to all of them, but I've played/finished both paths of 1, 2, 3 (and p3p) as well as 4 and 5. Didn't manage to get my hands on Golden but I've seen enough of it. (It's funny you ask about the dance games, they're the only ones I don't have right now! But my roommate does, and will be gone for a few months soon, perhaps I will take the time to start with p4DAN. I'm atrocious at rhythm games though so more than likely I'll find a video. Anyway.) WHAT is Philemon? If we can't define that, we can't talk about The Positivity Guy Ever.

So let's talk about Phil. He's a fascinating character. His Persona is just a form of Himself, But Cooler. And he seems to HAVE no set shape, not unlike Nyarlathotep. People have various theories about Shadows and their origins etc., but Phil is more like that vote of confidence in people. I think, personally, that after the end of Innocent Sin, Phil's been pretty weak. We see in Eternal Punishment he's fading pretty roughly, and has a hard time talking to the party. Presumably ending Nyarly might to some degree fix things when Deja-vu Boy goes home, but... the problem is, we don't know how fixed they truly ended up being, or the full depth of how much he could/did expend!

In fact, the first time we even see Phil without the dumb mask is when Tatsuya decks him. Pay close attention to that fact. To the mask motifs here. I want you to really soak in Phil's everything. He's a leader. A kind soul. He's the good of people. He wants to believe the best.

Anyway, most of these things overlook what I find really interesting as we've gotten more games worth of lore: he and Nyarly aren't the only eldritch entities walking around like that. Yes, Nyx is one too. Yes, it's probable she may even be their 'mom'. It's possible they all came from Nyx initially, but it's also possible (and should be considered) they too may have been outsiders at one point. We need to ask ourselves how far the human collective unsconsciousness can go. Is that sea infinite? Could it affect other worlds? Think about Aion in Devil Summoner Soul Hackers 2. Yes, I am asking you to think about Soul Hackers 2. Deal with it, I don't care. They're sister series. They share many things. SO! Did the shape of the human mind change a bunch of eldritch creatures and make them interact with us even more after Nyx smacked the moon a gazillion years ago? Is there multiple worlds? Weird bullshit? Just the two? Hmm. Well... I, personally, think so. I think he was touched by humanity just like Nyarlathotep, but in the other way. The reason I bring this up is two-fold. The first is Nodens. Now, we don't know much about the actual Nodens, unfortunately, just some speculation. Which is a shame. (If anyone has more info I'd love to have it, ngl. As a pagan this shit fascinates me.) But what we do get on him in Lovecraftian lore can provide us some intriguing possibilities about Phil's everything, which the games love to keep really rather vague. (And this is putting aside that his human Persona is based off the obviously bogus Jungian Spirit Guide, but we love an old guy in a mask anyway. He probably felt that was more 'friendly' for humans, hah.) I believe that Nodens, and Phil by extension, are just as responsible for nurturing and keeping the collective unconsciousness alive and positive. We see the butterfly symbol everywhere. We see it with Lavenza, too. "This is truly an unjust game." So was the bet Phil made with Nyarly, a game he rigged. Phil made the mistake of thinking the Crawling Chaos wouldn't cheat, a mistake he is never making again, I assume, if he can help it. Shit, you could view his boss fight in P2EP as him trying to train the EP crew to beat the snot out of Nyarly, even. But off topic. If Nyarly is basically the father of all Shadows, and they and Personas are the same coin, it makes me wonder a lot of things. The two have always been portrayed as simultaneously diametrically opposed, but also not? They have identical halls in P2. They have similar powers and talents... I think after Persona 3, Phil's remnants sank into the Collective Unconsciousness, to attempt to rehabilitate humanity from what it lost, from what he himself lost. I think Igor took over the room, because he took a backseat to recover. It would go a long, long way towards explaining why only SOME characters have the tier of the Wild Card, which is similar to the 'original' Persona power. (Having multiple.) He was took weak to remain in his Spirit Guide (Philemon) form, and had to abandon it to return to the depths as Nodens... So. Let me go back to Nodens and make some notes about design.

Nodens, as seen here, sort of resembles an iron maiden. It really brings to mind the idea of maybe Tatsuya or someone's humanoid form sleeping within it, doesn't it? Fitting for an aspect of Philemon! ... You probably can see where I'm going with this, but let me pull up some screens to finish the point:

That's right! It's Azathoth, Baby! I believe that unlike mythology, he's yet another aspect of Philemon. Eldritch positivity, in too much force, could be used for accidental bad, too. (Reasons Maruki is my favorite Law Hero, haha.) Let me explain. I think Philemon always existed in... let's call it parts. Azathoth is said to be a dreaming god in whom's universe we all just happen to be alive inside, right? "Dream of butterfly" (Philemon) "Or is life a dream? Don't wanna wake up. Cuz I'm happy here." That sure is thematic to what Maki goes through in Persona 1, and what Maruki's beloved suffers, isn't it? ISN'T IT. The "true reality" he creates... would help Maruki create in the additional Semester--would be something most humans would never pass the muster to even try to control. But we have seen Phil test a few people and find them worth passing before! However, that seems like ages ago. Why has he been so quiet? I think because he was spending time conserving his energy. He believed in humanity enough to give Makoto a push when it was needed in p3 (or femc, if you play her), but otherwise trusted Igor while he restored what needed it. But in Persona 5 Royal, he hand-picked Maruki, didn't he? At first, when I played Persona 5 Royal, I really thought it was some part of Nyarly, but I no longer believe this to be the case. The coloration and symbolism in the background (the golds, the whole garden of eden themes, the way his Palace was laid out), the whole sea of soul motifs in P3Re later... mmm. I have a lot of thoughts about this, but this post is already way too long for one simple ask. So let's wrap up by going one step further and looking finally at Nodens' dialogue to the party in the Extra Scenario in Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (PSP). The following is a transcript, you can find a video here:

Nodens: This is the memory of the lost child whom you all seek. Nodens: Memory occasionally brings about much distress and suffering, but it is absolutely vital to distinguish oneself from others and manufacture one's own psyche. Nodens: Ever since it began, life's memory has accumulated unbroken, passing through individual experiences and spanning several generations. Nodens: And so it has given shape to Kadath and the Collective Unconsciousness, thereby becoming a foundation for the next generation. Nodens: Even if the roots of the world are directed by fear and anxiety, never forget that the true essence of life is brimming with joy. Nodens: You must not stop seeking the answer for why life was born in a cosmos progressing towards absurdity and chaos. Nodens: Life brims with joy, bringing about balance in a universe predestined to heat death, and that allows the world to live a long time.

So to answer your question, I think he's taken a much subtler role. I think he's influencing people by pretending to be a Persona for Maruki, because he believes it will help them grow. I don't think he was intending a forever-control vice grip, but rather to prove a point. No matter what, the primordial chaos of humanity will rise up for chaotic good, lawful good, whatever "good" is needed. Azathoth is... interesting. Adam Kadmon is also interesting. But mostly I HIGHLY suspect we may see him again in Persona 6, or at least I'm hoping so. It's my personal pet theory by then he'll be less faded and come back to us in a new form of some kind. He's never had a set one, after all. Now for funsies about the dancing game, well, he's a positive guy, he wanted to just make sure everyone had their fitness regimen checked off. Obviously. (This is a joke.) Did the devs intend this? I'm honestly not sure? Like there's a lot of nods to older Personas in 5 and now 3RE especially, but it's definitely worth chewing on. I could go on and on about things I think he's connected to, but ultimately they have the final say lol. I'm just a crackpot conspiracy theorist on tumblr who really likes Philemon. He and the Room are my favorites. :) Ask me about attendants for additional dumb, sometime, I guess lol.

#persona #persona 1 #persona 2 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #persona spoilers #p5r #philemon #persona 2 innocent sin #persona 2 eternal punishment #nodens #text #long post; #SORRY NOT SORRY THIS IS ONE OF MY ETERNAL BRAINROT QUESTIONS HERE #I live and breathe overthinking SMTPersona

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

im sorry shadow's backstory is What

oh i LOVE explaining this to people so let me clarify: everything i am about to tell you is one hundred percent canon. everything. you can look it up on the wiki or playthroughs of sonic adventure 2 and shadow the hedgehog if you dont believe me.

so

shadow the hedgehog was created in a test tube in space we'll start there

he was created on a space colony by eggman's grandfather, dr gerald robotnik.

gerald was working with the government to make an "ultimate lifeform" in order to achieve immortality. his main motivation is to find a cure for his granddaughter maria, who has a rare chronic illness called "NIDS" which is. AIDS. it's just AIDS. anyway she doesn't have long to live unless he can figure out this ultimate lifeform thing

gerald tries to make this thing but it just makes a really big lizard that wants to kill things so he stashes it in the space-basement and hopes that won't cause problems later

in order to actually make the ultimate life form this time he makes a deal with.... a fucking demon alien hivemind leader from a creepy comet that circles the planet

if you have seen the shadow snapcube fandub, this is the devil from the bible. canon name is black doom

so gerald takes some of black doom's dna and uses it to make shadow the ultimate lifeform

yes this means shadow has two dads

gerald does figure out the demon alien is probably gonna betray him tho so he builds a giant fuck-off canon on the space colony in case they need to kill him

shadow is raised on the ark alongside maria as his sister-figure if not like literal sister. the two of them have never been off the space station and dream about seeing earth

unfortunately the military finds out that there's like suuuper deadly weapons on this ship and they're like "wtf we're the us military nobody can make deadly weapons but us" so they do what any sane person would do

they go on the space colony and massacre everyone

seriously. some people managed to escape through escape pods but like they just kill everyone. one survivor in shth clarifies that his entire family died that day

the military also shoots and kills maria in front of shadow. while she doesn't have a canon age in the games, the anime lists her as twelve

maria manages to send shadow off in an escape pod before dying and asks him to take care of the earth for her and give the people on there a chance to be happy because she's a fucking angel

the military finds shadow's escape pod tho oops

anyway gerald was taken into police custody and when he finds out maria is dead he literally SNAPS and decides that blowing up the planet sounds like a good idea

he figures he wont be able to do anything in his prison so he finds shadow and MANIPULATES HIS MEMORIES to make him think maria made him promise revenge, then tells him to use the cannon he built for the demons and use it to blow up the whole planet

the military then puts shadow in cryo and EXECUTES GERALD BY FIRING SQUAD ONSCREEN

shadow is then woken up by eggman after a 50 year timeskip

schenanigans happen and he ends up deciding not to take revenge and then he dies. but wait he didn't die he just fell to earth and lost all his memories so the demon alien dad manipulates him into revenge again. then shadow gets his memories back and kicks his dad's ass

and now he's just kinda hanging out

and we are going to see ALL OF THIS in a CHILDREN'S MOVIE december 20 2024

#mine #shadow the hedgehog

[fizziepopangel]

Hey! I really liked your helluva boss headcanons, they're very interesting and realistic! Do you have any for Stolas? 😀

I do actually have a few! Ask and you shall receive, my friend! I hope you enjoy😋

“Oh shit. Am I in danger right now?”

When he was young, the prince built little communities for the toads and frogs that he found within the garden sometimes. This is what sparked his joy for being in the garden and he still tries his best to make the palace garden comfortable for the small amphibians that he sometimes comes across there.

Despite being a powerful demon, Stolas hates horror movies because he scares far easier than he cares to admit.

He has bald spots from where he's pulled out his feathers during panic attacks or times of overwhelming stress but learned to hide them well over the years.

Stolas is easily excited by small things which can easily be seen through his daughter’s social media where she frequently posts pictures of her father reacting in childlike wonder to things most people wouldn’t think twice about.

Baby Stolas was bathed in a bird bath the same way babies are bathed in the sink sometimes when they're really small.

Sometimes Stolas will sleep with his old stuffed animal. It brought him comfort as a child and though he's a bit embarrassed to admit it to most people, it still brings him comfort after nightmares.

He understands his duties as a member of the Goetia family, but he always wanted to be an artist or botanist rather than a prince.

Stolas’ primary love language is physical touch which tends to make him a wonderful, affectionate partner and friend…. Unfortunately, the prince also experiences touch starvation quite easily.

The abuse he took from Stella worsened after she became pregnant with Octavia because she soon found he would give in to any demand she had if it meant keeping their daughter safe if she even acted as if she might threaten the child in some way. 

He suffers from migraines due to poor vision because he's struggled with focusing both sets of his eyes at once since he was a kid. His father never took him seriously and he was often teased by others about having one set of eyes closed to both help him focus on things and get rid of his migraines…. He still does this sometimes when he's alone because he's still afraid of being teased or seen as weak.

He has a deep appreciation for classical music, but he loves dancing around to trashy pop music more than he likes listening to the classics people are used to hearing him listen to.

Blitz can be quite rough with him in bed and despite enjoying it for the most part, he wants something more… sensual sometimes. He had hoped it would be after their date at Ozzie's.

He's put off teaching Via magic because he doesn't want her to grow up just yet but he's found that their magic lessons are often some of their best bonding activities and he learns much more than he thought he would about his daughter with each lesson they stumble through. 

The demon prince is still afraid of the dark. Only his daughter knows.

He uses his human form to attend pride parades in the human realm. He loves it and has made many human friends in the years he’s attended.

Stolas doesn’t use his full demon form very often because despite how well he hides it, it takes a lot of energy and it leaves him fairly exhausted.

Unbeknownst to everyone aside from Blitz, Stolas keeps a journal of poetry he writes.

Despite the fact that they are one of the lowest classes species in hell, Stolas doesn’t necessarily view imps in that manner because he sees himself as having been raised by them since he was raised more so by the imps who served his family than his parents.

He has a major sweet tooth and chocolate ice cream with whipped cream and cherries on top is his favorite sweet treat.

Stolas tends to his garden daily and has named each and every one of the plants he cares for.

#fizziepop thoughts #helluva headcanon #helluva boss #vivziepop #stolas goetia #helluva boss stolas #stolitz #helluva boss octavia #requested by anon #requested headcanons #stolas needs a hug #Yes stolas is one of my favorite characters

[svtminji]

📁 ⠀⠀⠀ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ johnji files -> dispatch exposé & confirmation

Along with the previous couple exposed today, Blackpink's Jennie and EXO's Kai, the pair was exposed by a close friend of theirs. The mutual stated that they had been dating for a few months and were seeing each other regularly. Photos were sent to us by the friend and we will not be disclosing due to privacy. Whether Dispatch will disclose the photos or not, their interactions at events are something else to look at to confirm their relationship. Thus being said, perhaps fans of both groups will look into the SEVENTEEN and NCT interactions.

Minji has posted on her Instagram, doimizu, labeling posts with captions of "john + mizu = happy days :D", "pics by bff:/", or "missed my trainee bestie <3!!" and all of the posts had the official NCT instagram account tagged. Some of her stories had captions such as "don't sugarcoat me 🙄🙄🙄🙄", "with da bestie 💪😈" , or "w john !!" while holding his hand.

Whether Minji meant to make her relationship public by sharing her moments with Johnny, these stories were captured a few weeks before they started officially dating, according to the close friend.

Both SM and Pledis Entertainment haven't said anything currently about the matter, especially SM with two of their artists dating life being exposed.

While looking through with each artist, both of their agencies responded with these statements:

Hello, this is Pledis Entertainment. By talking to our artist, Minji, we came to the conclusion that she is currently dating NCT’s Johnny. She also confirmed that they had been dating since September of 2018. With the reporter being a close friend, she stated that she would have a personal talk with the friend and resolve a few problems. Considering this next year is Minji’s fourth year as an idol, we do not see a problem with her dating. We hope everyone can support the couple and withhold their negative views.

Hello, this is SM Entertainment. We talked to our artist, Johnny, and came to the conclusion that he is in-fact dating SEVENTEEN’s Minji. We would also like to confirm that they had been dating prior to the announcement. We cannot interfere with his life outside of idol activities, so we ask fans to support the couple. Thank you.

Although it was not needed, Minji made a personal statement on her Instagram.

Hi. This is Minji from Seventeen and I am deeply sorry for announcing this after seeing the current news. I’ve always wanted to announce my relationship with Johnny and being beaten to it really hurt me. This relationship was built from a friendship that I hope lasts even after we depart from each other, if that does happen. I am not currently aware how my partner feels at the moment but I can assure you that I am happy, yet sad at the same time. I didn’t want to feel the same pressure as every other artist who was exposed by the news, but unfortunately, I am standing in their shoes as well. I hope everyone understands that I am truly sorry for having to announce this. Thank you for your understanding.

The post’s comment section was filled with both support and hate, which later became silenced with Minji disabling comments. We truly offer our condolences to the couple and we wish them a very safe and healthy relationship!

PHEW.. here’s minji and johnny’s dispatch articles. i had no idea how i would figure this out but i hope this was fine 😭

wanted to start with johmin before i worked up to jeongmi. definitely writing jeongmi article soon tho!! #myactiveera

svtminji est. 2023

#svtminji #kpop #kpop oc #seventeen 14th member #seventeen oc #seventeen #kpop added member #seventeen added member #seventeen female member #kpop female oc #seventeen x oc #seventeen female addition #kpop female addition #kpopidol #johnny suh #johnny x oc #nct johnny #johnny suh x oc #news:dispatch #news:koreaboo #nct:johnji

[this-is-an-open-letter]

Since I know you’re in both fandoms, I wonder if you share my cringe when I see Taylor fans going absolutely nuts over Travis Kelce and making videos about how perfect he is (and how terrible apparently Joe (now) was all along). It reminds me a lot of the VM mania.

It’s really unhealthy to be that attached to the relationship of other people. I just keep wanting that stuff off of my feed. I always agreed with you when you told people not to make assumptions about VM, and to believe them when they told us they weren’t together. But after having lived through Taylor‘s adult life over the past 13 years, you would think Swifties would’ve gotten that memo

In a lot of ways the TS fandom is so unlike any other fandom to exist and a lot of that has to do with the parasocial relationship fans have with Taylor, which isn't uncommon within fandoms, but no one has that like Taylor does. And the reason its so different is because Taylor has literally met thousands of her fans in an intimate setting, she actively still remembers having met them, she shares/shared inside jokes with them. No one else has that and that has caused both good and bad within her own fandom.

I can say for myself the over hype of her and Travis only gives me pause because Taylor's overexposure rate is always very very high. Right now she's the most popular she's ever been and not just in music but actively the media and online chatter is all about TSwift right now and its all positive, which is very new. And even though I wasn't part of the fandom back in 2016 when things were at an all time low for her, even I was aware of the hate and vitriol that surrounded her. We're in a new era that has never existed for Taylor before. Being this likable just has everyone ready for the other shoe to drop, which is unfortunate. I don't think its likely to happen - she's sort of surpassed the media having any control over her narrative and has literally become untouchable.

But I do agree with you, I think because this fandom is SO loyal to Taylor they will cut and run no matter who it is, no matter how much they once praised Joe for being in Taylor's life. Its immature and really we know nothing of what happened, but that is literally how fandoms are built. Very little truth and a whole lot of opinion.

I've been bit once, twice, thrice so I've learned my lesson....shipping real life people is never a good idea lol. But I mean I am all for Taylor to get hers, go off girl. If she's comfortable to be more public than she's ever been, there's nothing wrong with that for me. Fans need to stay in line (which they won't and never have) but its all genuinely coming from a good place of fans just wanting the absolute best for her. Most people understand how to toe the line respectfully....we can only hope that remains.

#taylor swift #travis kelce #always hopping for the best #asks

[baladric]

💘💫🤍🪄 🦋 for the ask thing!

ehehe thank u anon!!!!

💘 Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

honestly kind of all of them? i am chronically dissatisfied with my end products—mostly because i look back at them and see nothing so much as pacing issues, and a propensity to attribute too much emotional intelligence to my pov characters. i'm not going to rewrite them, but if i had a perfect world and limitless time, i'd rework both Sweet Hope and a pearl in my hand. they're both so good, but they could be so much better :')

💫 What is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i'm very partial to the comments that involve people quoting the bits that personally victimized them >:3c with a very loud shout-out to the wildly sincere and personal ones—i write because reading has helped me through every hard moment in my life, and hearing that i've given that gift to other people means the fucking world to me

🤍 What's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

i think generally people pick up what i'm laying down, but one thing that irks me a little is a minor trend of people reading Sweet Hope and walking out with the "Maia Drazhar Is An UwU Cinnamon Roll" thing still lodged in their heads. as a person who's been categorized by many abusers/toxic loved ones as A Faultless Ray Of Sunshine, i can say that it's an awful, awful place to be, and unfortunately i take my job as Disillusioner Of Maia Drazhar's Fawn Image very personally whoops, which was kind of a central motivator for me in writing that story? like that's one of the core themes, right? maia's aunt attributes a faultless and innate Goodness™ to maia, and everyone gets Upsetti about that because they all recognize that maia chooses to be good, though he has every reason in the world to be callous and cruel—and that it's the deliberate choice of compassion and consideration that defines him, and not some like. idk built-in Sweetness Coding. he is not good or sweet—he chooses goodness and sweetness, and that distinction is very, very important to me, and to my interpretation of maia, because it allows for the complexity of human (elvish lmao) error. he doesn't always say the right thing, nor should he be expected to by those closest to him. he doesn't always make the correct choice, nor does anyone. so like. idk!! he's not A Cinnamon Roll!!! that is very reductive to me and rubs me very wrong!!!!!!!!

🪄 What is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

if it's a longer fic, there is a great deal of celebratory shouting and probably some excited dancing, followed by a jittery lap around the house before obsessively refreshing the fic page to watch the hits go up lmaooooo. for ficlets, i tend to say "NICE" very loudly, drop it and go do something else with a warm ember of satisfaction in my heart. usually there is a little drink involved in both of these.

🦋 What are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

oh boy uhh, everything kind of!! i worry a lot about my characterizations, bc i definitely have Opinions and i've come this far without getting my ass cancelled but i do worry about dumb stuff like oh no what if people don't like that i refuse to believe goblin emperor elves are all Literally paper-white and perfectly blonde or shit i shouldn't have leaned so hard into selectively mute link. and i do worry too about the self-indulgent Breakdown parts of my writing, eg the whole scene in Sweet Hope of maia breaking down at the opera or the big in pearl in my hand where link wigs the fuck out on sidon. those always feel too loud to me, somehow, like i've allowed myself and my characters too much license or awareness or Clarity or something? i usually refuse to reread those parts of stories tbh. like i'll do a cursory editing pass and then never ever touch those sections again bc i just get so embarrassed ;alkdfjwa;d

fic writer ask meme!!

#aj answers #anonymous ask #ask #ask meme

[gelatocircus]

ℤ𝕖𝕥𝕒’𝕤 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 - 𝕍𝕠𝕝 𝟙

ℂ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕦𝕣 𝕄𝕒𝕟

Okay. So. I just want to start this by saying I have never really shared headcanons so publicly before and I am nervous 🧍🏽‍♂️

Also!! An important note is that all interpretations are valid, and you don’t have to agree with me! :]

These are just my thoughts!

•◌•◌•〚 ☻ 〛•◌•◌•

So, a bit of canon info that is relevant, for those who don’t know.

Centaur works at a museum, and entered the first annual robot tournament as a means to refurbish it with the prize money. He also likes gambling.

Headcanons under the cut cuz this is a long one

Also I added doodles to make this more fun ig, haha.

•◌•◌•〚 ☻ 〛•◌•◌•

- When first built, the museum Centaur Man is from was pretty well off! It was during this time they commissioned a robotics company to create him as their robotic tour guide. He specializes in Greek myth.

- Centaur is a huge nerd for Greek mythology, being both what he was built to resemble, and his job. When asked questions about it, particularly outside of work, he is likely to ramble for quite some time — though, he ends up embarrassed and apologetic when he realizes he’s been talking for too long.

His favorite character in Greek myth is Chiron, the wise centaur who taught many heroes, such as Heracles and Achilles.

- After some time, the museum became less popular. Centaur Man began looking for ways to get it back on the map, deciding, he’d need a good amount of money to do so. He took up the habit of gambling in hopes to earn this money.

- This hanging around casinos introduced Centaur to alcohol and smoking as well. Habits he quickly picked up on. He unfortunately is quick to get addicted to such things, another fun tidbit he found out about himself during this time.

He chooses to pretend he doesn’t have a problem when around others. Insists he only does these things casually and could stop whenever. This is definitely not true.

He is also pretty rowdy when drunk, which is something he finds himself particularly embarrassed about.

With a habit of jumping from bar to bar- he accidentally ran into Flash Man a few times. These two have since become drinking buddies, and will go out together for alcohol.

Unfortunately, they are both embarrassed of their drunk behavior, and pretend they don’t know each other outside of that.

- The only one who knows about Flash and Centaur’s friendship is Yamato Man

Yamato Man and Centaur are really close. And Yamato will come with centaur to bars and casinos. Not because he actually enjoys them, but more to stop centaur man from getting wasted or losing a bunch of money. Centaur causes problems and Yamato tries to get him out of them. As besties do.

- Working with tourists, Centaur is programmed with the ability to speak several languages. He was actually quite the translator for the MM6 bots before they could all understand each other.

Yamato however, still doesn’t like to speak English much, so he and Centaur communicate largely in Japanese.

- Translating ended up having him spend a lot of time with everyone from the tournament, so he became buds with them all, and tries to keep in contact. He is largely the glue that keeps them together.

- Hair hc! He has long brown hair that matches his tail in color. He keeps it in a braid. Goes down to about his mid back. (Was going to draw this for the post, but still can’t settle on a bang design 💔)

- I hc Centaur as Trans Man. He’s also Omniromantic. Doesn’t have a preference between men or women, but does feel like each is a different experience.

- After the tournament, Centaur found out he had a love for combat. He still gets together with Yamato and Knight for friendly duals.

- No one got any prize money because the tournament was a fake, and centaur is still salty about this.

- Does NOT like being treated like a horse. Do not ask to ride his back. It’s a no. If you’re really close, he might let you, but don’t expect it.

Doesn’t mind genuine questions about being a centaur most of the time tho. But can sometimes get annoyed with it as he does get asked most of them a lot.

Despite this he definitely does make jokes about him being a centaur. And will sometimes laugh if others do. Just depends on how he’s feeling.

•◌•◌•〚 ☻ 〛•◌•◌•

That’s all for now! Lemme know if you guys liked this post 👍

I have a lot of headcanons, so might submit more later if people are interested.

Thanks for reading 😎🤙

#long post #zeta.hcs #Centaur Man #Mega man 6 #centaur man mega man 6 #zeta.txt

[killian-whump]

I like how you approaches this argument, you are so objective.

My fear is that Colin is doing all this watching a contract from which he can't go out. I think everyone told him: "Hey! Let's do NFT! It's too cool! Trust us!" including his brother. Unfortunately, as you said, it's obvious that he doesn't have a true expert manager to help him. So he says "Ok, I'm not the expert. You are. Let's try this" and now he can see the big bullshit that they told him (and he told himself, onestly). I can't believe that someone can have fucked him like this, making him spend money in this shit.

As a fan I wait more the film "Lucky" in august, because it was better that he continued to dub, pending a major project, rather than embarking into this. It is also really strange for Colin publishing so stubbornly. When "Arcadia" came out he put only one post (or maybe two). Always super gentle and excited, writing a few stupid cute things. Now seems more than he's saying "Guys please I'm forced. No my fault. Wtf I have done?", meanwhile he screaming for what is happening to him.

I'm in love with Hook, and I admire Colin for his interpretation, so I'm sorry to see him in difficulty (and I am also a lot disgusted by these NFT brothers). I can't hate him, for me is a naive " victim" ( Not completely victim, maybe he would have to think about it better)

What do you think?

I agree completely!

It's almost certainly part of whatever contract he's signed that he's expected to promote the project - both the podcast and the NFTs. So he really has no choice but to keep posting/retweeting about it, regardless of how we feel - or even how he feels, himself.

I do think he was surrounded by people telling him all about how great it all is - and not enough exposure to the predominantly negative opinions the rest of the world has. The NFT community is very much an echo chamber, where they purposely "shut down" dissenting voices and write them off as "scared" or "jealous" or "not as smart/cool/etc as we are". And their entire business model is built on convincing newcomers of how awesome and profitable it all is.

And I think his brother's experiences likely helped support those ideas. Allen probably hasn't gotten anywhere near the hate/criticism that Colin's gotten - firstly, because he's not famous, and secondly, because a lot of his 'fans' are the younger and/or more impressionable members of Colin's own fandom. (I don't mean that as an insult to those fans - I was once young and impressionable, as well, and I absolutely threw unwarranted attention at friends/family of my faves when I was. Now I'm older and view things very differently; one day they likely will, as well. That's life.) The very fans who are appalled at Colin doing this are generally the kinds of fans that haven't been following Allen and frankly don't care what he's been doing. So I think the extreme negative reaction might very well have been a complete surprise to both of them.

All the more reason why Colin should have someone watching his back and guiding him in these kinds of matters. If his guidance is mostly coming from family and friends, he's just asking to get taken advantage of - and I honestly feel this time he has been. All one has to do is look at the negative press Brie Larson's NFT activity has generated and you can see it's NOT wise for a celebrity to get involved with the things unless they're truly willing to "ride or die" for the cause or they literally have nothing to lose.

But it warms my heart to see his fans come out and support and comment on his non-NFT posts when he makes them. I think he DOES have a very sincere and loyal fan base that will likely stick with him through this, at least for the short term - provided he continues to touch base with us through non-NFT posts at times. But I hope the contract he signed isn't for too long of a term, and I hope he gets out of it at the first opportunity. I also hope he hasn't sunk too much (any) of his own money into the crypto network.

And I'm excited for "Luck" too! ❤️ I think it's great that he's got another project on its way, although apparently there's some drama with the studio behind it - though I've completely forgotten what it was, as it wasn't of interest to me. At any rate, I hope that project goes better than this one!

#anti nfts #tsr debacle

[eren-the-eldritch]

okay so since everyone (me) has been asking (no one asked) to see my eldritch god horror creation thing (i am making this up no one asked for this) i guess i can share a little(lot) bit

Ah'legethoth

In the case where man grows detached from the reality whither man is born; when one’s connection to the waking world turns into something purely physical as they resign from their pursuit of dreams and withdraw from held, if any at all, relations; when an individual only continues existence out of the necessity of living after being brought into being, it is then that their weakened mind becomes susceptible to his pull.

Exiled to ink black infinity, lone without a single nebula or kaleidoscopic galaxy to gaze upon, trapped long enough for many distant suns to fulminate, for many stars to have the time to realign themselves in a variety of patterns so much as to have patterns repeated, and for humanity to start anew many times over, there exists an incomprehensible primordial evil, peering into our plane of existence for vague reasons that can only be theorized. Whatever the goal, if any, of this malicious thing is, the success of it is bound to bring ruin to many.

He is said to invade the minds of once ambitious now apathetic drifters and hear the unfulfilled dreams of those who cannot bring themselves to sleep. Then, it is through noiseless whispers that he makes false promises of fulfillment and respite to those who cannot hope to gain it through their own insignificant efforts. In optical hallucinations and surreal visions, he comes as everything the human mind could ever develop desire for in another and provides every fathomable materialistic want to be dreamt of. His avatars and speech are crafted with perfect precision to deceive and manipulate. It is when you fall for his false promises of satiation; when the naivety of the delinquent subconscious mind makes the woeful decision to believe his deceit and mistake it for authenticity; when you favor his mendacious identity as opposed to living truth and your being relinquishes its hold on the last tearing, incorporeal cord anchoring you to this plane of reality and instead latches onto the thread that he extends, you are no longer your own. It is said that only then does he become visible to the unfortunate individual alone in his truest shape; an obscure mass built up by innumerable tendrils of the deepest black with an untold multitude of red threads that wrap around his form, each whipping through the air like a scorpion's tail before piercing it's victim and siphoning out a brighter red, but that red is not blood. No mortal is given the time to realize they were misled by this abomination.

Torn from their individual prisons of nothing, Ah'legethoth welcomes them into his own.

Epithet

Ah'legethoth

Legethoth

Lord of H’Soth

Lonely God

Separator of Souls

Promisor of Satiation

Lying God

Invader of Minds

Holder of Strings

Devourer of Dreams

Thing of Invisible Darkness

Him Who Promises Respite

Prince of Nothing

H’Soth

It is the deepest, shallowest plane of existence with an overwhelming brightness that blinds and dull darkness that disorientates. It is incomprehensibly vast, claustrophobically small, and full of the opposite of everything in all worlds that are to be and have been. It is full of emptiness, so empty that the space itself is only prevented from collapse due to the lack of substance present to fall. It is the realm of which the human mind will never possibly be capable of fathoming nor daydreaming of. The utter absence of presence that has never not been present.

This domain is the exact embodiment of nothingness that would vaporize the human psyche if bared witness to, leaving even more nothingness in its place, and it is said that it is the sole prisoner confined to this nothingness for unknowable millennia that rules over it as its Lord.

At some point, at this malignant entity’s will, this space slowly filled with distorted mockeries of earthen structures. Crumbling cliffs with debris levitating in orbit, samples of drastically different cities madly sewn together without any architectural sense, hard rain that never stops descending, looping forests with trees that bend without breaking in the false wind of the storms of his creation; all of it is his doing alone, changing indefinitely in response to his whims. It is he, Lord of H’Soth, who has full jurisdiction over whom is allowed entry and exit, though those who enter are never kept sane long enough to use the faculty of recollection and realize they are not meant for this place.

Simultaneously nothing and everything is H’Soth.

The Aimless

Of the recorded encounters with this beast, very few manage to capture a clear image of what this horror actually is. The inconsistencies and ambiguity of the being may be a direct consequence of its withdrawn nature that confines it to the night and all other places where light is obscure or away. It has been described as both thick and thin formless black smoke and shadow that slithers and squirms inchmeal flat against the ground like spilled liquid. When any place is completely submerged in darkness, they are unable to be discerned from the earthen shadows and darkness we are familiar with. It is a thing seemingly drawn to life yet does not appear to hold ill intent nor any intent at all. Though it can wrap around more tangible entities, the same is not true reversed; any earthen structure animate or inanimate is incapable of grasping this being. Little is known of them, their origins, nor why nor how they roam the mortal plane, but it is known that they must hold some connection to him.

They can be faintly seen billowing out from beneath his grotesque mien and tend to follow close behind where he appears, not as though they are restricted to his side nor as if they have any want to be there, but as if they have no other place to be. A few bolder ones will wrap around one of his million tendrils and camouflage their darkness against his. If they are not in view when he appears, they are sure to remain close, for it is his noiseless orders that give them purpose. It is only if it is his desire that they become hostile.

Spotting one of these beings is an almost sure sign that some manifestation of Ah'legethoth is near.

Necronomicon Page 1/???

ok that’s all thankies sm for looking :3 <3

#eldritch horror #cosmic horror #digital art #horror #eldritch god #eldritch abomination #any similarities in name appearance or otherwise are unintentional i prommy #ah’legethoth

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Hey, I was swiping away at tumblr and found your blog, it looked really interesting so I decided to make a match-up request. If its not too much trouble of course.

I was thinking, for Supernatural(if you are still doing them, I saw some past works with it but I didn't see it on your list) and Narnia.

I would like a one-shot, dialoge and scenario, and theme song.

Now without further ado

Ok so physically I am a 6' guy, i have really light almost golden brown eyes, orange hair, I'm decently built, want to work on myself a little more, this is irrelevant, I'm straight.

Personality wise, well I've been described to be kind of the scary friend. I've been know for not talking to anyone until I gain trust so usually i act like an angry introvert until I get adopted by a cheery extrovert, and then i show my true colors.

With my close friends i really talkitive, i love debating and making jokes, but not normal jokes i have a very Deadpool like humor, it's definitely an acquired taste for some people

I'm very loyal, i will fight till the end for anyone who matters to me but I'm difficult to open even to some friends ive had from 5 years ago i still am really closed off i don't like bothering other people with my problems.

Im also the advise giving friend i help my friends get over breakups, realize their feeling give them support everything, but i still won't talk about myself 🤣 i know it's not healthy but hey what can you do.

My love language is physical touch, nothing sexual, a hug, hand holding, grabbing the waist while walking, thingsike that.

I also think that the small things in relationships are whats really important, and that a relationship isn't 50/50, some days one person in the partnership has to give a little more when the other is t feeling well, it's about being there for the other person no matter what.

I ignore my emotions when it comes to liking someone, ignore it souch i even deny it to myself until it's to obvious or strong for me to ignore it.

I love teasing my friends, it's one of my favorite past times

And yeah, i don't think i have any more to say🤣

Anyway thank you in advance, and you've already got my follow!

Hello dear💖, unfortunately I'm not into supernatural I only remembered Sam and dean.

However I did Narnia so I hope your happy with that sorry if the oneshot is short.

For Narnia I ship you with:

Susan Pevensie✨

She is a strong character to say the least and takes everything seriously but wants peace. She does have sympathy.

She would be strong and yet she would need someone like you to protect her.

You come into the world by mistake since you were friends with Edmund and had to fight along with the other siblings.

The two of you have growing attraction once the adventures become more longer.

Susan had to protect her family and yet it would take her some time to start a relationship.

You: so, Susie what’s your next plan huh? We saved Narnia.

Susan: perhaps we shall see *holds onto you while walking through the passage way back to earth*

Susan was described as the best-looking queen in all of Narnia.

You were a knight and one of the best fighters there was, you protected the siblings even Caspian is jealous.

The two of you married outside of Narnia and had a normal life with your child being the next heir to the throne. They join in the adventures in the next generation with your hair and her eyes.

One-shot:

You had finally won the battle; Narnia was finally at peace, and everyone was ready to head back home. You couldn’t help but feel rather glad it was over, you saw Susan looking over toward the land. “We did it Susie, aren’t you glad” Despite the battle being over, Susan felt at home in Narnia, but she would need to go back home.

“Yes, I suppose so” you gripped her soft hand with a smile “come on I’ll be here right with you”. The two of you held hands as you walked home back to earth. You had hard feelings for the girl after all, you couldn’t wait to tell her how you felt.

Your theme song:

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta✨

#Narnia matchup #Narnia Matchups open

[clqveris]

started my ao3 back up this year. ao3 wrapped? I dunno. it's something

general rambling. reminder that the DOVES ARE DEAD some of these have nasty tags on them

I wish I could post something privately just for my mutuals. oh well

I say started back up because uhhhhh I wrote something in freshman year of highschool. It is my most loathed child and is now an orphan. It is in the very back of my ao3 inbox. Its statistics are on par with my current most popular fics. Goddammit.

Started writing this year because of Stardew Valley. Currently I believe it's one of the longest running projects I've ever worked on. Started it in February. Now it's December. I think it will be another year at least. My poor little farmer whom I give all the tragedies to. I dropped this game again earlier this year and yet still find the drive to write this. Amazing. I think I have the fic planned and then it goes and does its own thing sometimes.

All the TGED fics are the same to me. Least favorite children. The bad modding in the discord made me lose taste for the whole fandom, unfortunately. I am allowing myself to shit-talk this server on account of the poor moderation being in concerns to NSFW content, and that the server is not an adult only server. And some of the immaturity in there. Not immaturity as in "acting childish for fun" and "not being serious all the time," because acting like a mature adult all the time would be tiring and soul sucking, but immaturity as in "I am a child and my childish actions are not for fun but for throwing tantrums against things I don't like."

The count will forever stay at 4. The last thing I wrote for it I wrote all the chapters and then posted them all at once, and then forgot them. It is also my most popular fic. What a shame. I hope one day I will get a comment in my inbox that says "Why did you start writing incest." Otherwise, I respond to none of the comments on those fics.

My S-Class fics are my favorite children right now, besides the Stardew one. The only fandom I've ever written with an E rating for, and you know what? It's not bad. It's freeing. I get to be free. I forget all the time that they can be considered dead dove, for reason of the big fat Incest label on it. They feel tame to me, for some reason. Maybe they are. Maybe it's not my fault that one of the characters actually canonically tries to lock his brother up and has thoughts of getting rid of everyone else.

Perhaps one day they will surpass the TGED fics. Currently this one is the most popular of all of them, but I feel like that's about to change. Hm...

I don't really look at statistics except for the comments in my inbox, but here we go.

Subscriptions. I posted all the chapters of System Error at once, why are you subscribing to it?

Word count. No surprises here.

Bookmarks. frowns at System Error. get outta here

Comment threads. At least three of them are my favorite children.

Kudos. Hang in there cuckoo. your time will come I promise

Hits. You're telling me more people saw the high-speed competitive frotting and got less kudos than cuckoo? that's crazy

All in all? I'm blind. I don't see. Who is TGED? Never heard of them. I've never built a house in my life, your honor. All I know is Really Fucked Up Sibling Relationship with the author's poorly disguised brocon-

I also realize now, that most of the things I've written have something to do with extreme and unhealthy displays of affection. Stardew? You saw the yandere tag. TGED? Pretty sure that guy would blindly trust anything the other guy does. S Classes? I point out once again, the unhealthy codependent relationship between those brothers.

Now, as a reader. I need to bookmark more things I believe. I'm lacking. I'm slacking. I need to up my game 100 emoji.

If you read this far, I encourage you to comment. Putting all your thoughts about how a fic made you lose your mind in a comment is really fun, because then I don't have to just sit there and go "holy shit, that was an amazing fic, now I just have to sit here and act like I didn't read something that good." You can type it out and share it with the world. Highly recommend for when you're about to lose your mind over a fic.

[buzzerbeaterbin]

Like clockwork, I always manage to come down with some sort of respiratory illness every February and September ish; this time around however my body has endured some weird PMS, GI, and UO (my attempt to spare those in my circle who are not in medicine and do not have the same TMI-threshold) symptoms all month and starting Sunday I've been dealing with a feverish, achy kind of malaise with a nonexistent appetite for food or water. Not the strongest comeback after a month of an intense anxiety/adrenaline high (my second exam of the year was hell in ways I won't bore anyone with), but I am grateful for remote access to my education in the meantime 🙏 I just hope I'm able to not mess up my sleep schedule too much, considering I knocked out for hours in the early evening today and find myself writing this at 3am.

To state the obvious and expected: school has been exceedingly difficult. Not necessarily in a bad way though, at least all the time? I am constantly flipping between resentment towards the unreasonable pacing of a medical school education and feeling blessed and willing to probe about everything I learn about**; there's no shortage of academic and even existential enrichment these days, and as a kid who never took school as seriously as they probably should have, I'm holding on tightly to the opportunity to prove to myself that I can be the intellectually curious human I've always wanted to be. In short, these days have been an extension of last year - the arduous yet rewarding process of learning, period; about cells, the trajectory of an organic molecule in our livers, the phenotypical presentations of certain enzyme deficiencies, and the hardest one as of late - about how to maintain my sanity while being tested over and over again.

As I've been carrying the weight of this mental load, movement (in any form) has unfortunately been largely on the back burner. I'm hoping to never have to go a full week without at least fitting in some maintenance weight lifting, if not progressive overloading, but being sick this week might get in the way. The good news is I think I've nailed down a daily routine that I can start sticking to once I'm back in person?? I have one more true P/F exam before I'll start being tier graded (honors/high P/P/F), so the pressure is on to really figure out my strategies this time.

Godspeed to everyone working towards a time sensitive, stress inducing, energy draining or fate controlling project/goal/milestone right now - we're all in this together <3

10 things that have kept me nourished recently (I love fall):

CONCORD GRAPE SEASON YAAAAAAA (pictured above - NOT JUMBO BLUEBERRIES tho I have a soft spot for all fruits ofc)

Peanut butter chocolate chip larabars; I have adam tcharni to thank for introducing me to these

a ton of veggie-saturated japchae, porridge, and japanese curry courtesy of my mom but all very simple dishes to cook up as well if anybody needs meal inspo

finding this chocolate and miso banana bread recipe and making plans to bake it w a friend this weekend

planning a mid-autumn/chuseok potluck for this weekend to celebrate w my fellow asian american classmates! excited to gather and bool

The healthy minds (thank you ryan) and balance apps - both have built-in gameifying features that encourage a regimented approach to meditation in the same way that a lot of fitness apps do

seeing matthew's decorated spooky apt and watching season 4 of love is blind together as a mental pacifier before bed

deep cleaning/sanitizing my own apt

finding a volunteer opportunity for a trick or treat program the school hosts for the city kids

A very long but very needed talk with my brother who imparted tons of his invaluable wisdom

**Our existence is made up of long ass codes, created by strings of sugar, phosphate, and nitrogen-rich molecules. These codes are used to make proteins. But where the hell, then, does sentience come from??

#nourish #mental

[hydrus]

Version 527

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xK5SJ6CuezY

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.gz

I had a good week working on important updates to the build and a new media player prototype.

This build has special update instructions! All users who update from 526 or earlier to 527 or later will have to do this once!

full changelog

build update

A couple of weeks ago, I tried updating OpenCV (our image library) for everyone, but it caused a dll conflict and the program wouldn't boot. I am trying again this week, and since we have to do this change, I am also rolling in a long-planned change to the main exectuable names. 'client' is now 'hydrus_client' and 'server' is now 'hydrus_server'. Some users will have to do a 'clean install', and most will have to update their shortcuts or launch scripts.

As always--but particularly this week--please make a backup before you update. The following instructions are simple, but if anything goes wrong, you can always roll back to a safe backup.

Ok, the instructions, by situation, are:

- If you use the Windows installer, update as normal. It will do the clean install for you. Your start menu 'hydrus client' shortcut should also be overwritten with one to the new executable, but if you use a custom shortcut, you will need to update that yourself.

- If you use one of the normal extract builds, do a clean install. You also need to update any program shortcuts.

- If you use the macOS app, there are no special instructions. Update as normal.

- If you run from source, git pull as normal. If you haven't already, feel free to run setup_venv again to get the new OpenCV. Update any custom launch scripts to point at the new hydrus_client.py file.

A 'clean install' is as here: https://hydrusnetwork.github.io/hydrus/getting_started_installing.html#clean_installs -- You are basically going to be deleting everything except your database (to clear out old dll files) and then updating as normal.

To update your shortcut or launch script, simply edit it, and where it says 'install_dir\client.exe', just rename it to 'install_dir\hydrus_client.exe'. For Linux users, that'll be 'install_dir/client'.

If you have a custom firewall rule for the Client API, you'll need to update it for the new executable name too.

And that's it! Let me know if you have any trouble.

QMediaPlayer

This is for advanced users only. Also only users who run from source and use Qt6!

I integrated Qt's built-in media player this week. I hope that in future it may be a fallback for users who cannot run mpv. Unfortunately, while it worked surprisingly well when it worked, it was also very crashy. I've got it stable when running from source, but it seems to insta-crash when in a build, so that's something to figure out later.

If you are an advanced user who runs Qt6 from source, you will now see the new experimental Qt Media Player as a selectable viewer under options->media for audio, animations, and video. It has a number of limitations (check the changelog for the full list), but it does work in most cases. Have a play with it and let me know how you get on.

next week

This week was a lot of work for what felt like little outcome. I was disappointed that QMediaPlayer crashed in the build. In any case, I'm short on getting small things done, so I'll return to that. Just some little fixes and quality of life.

I am taking my vacation week on the 8-14th of June, so I have four releases left before then. I won't go for anything huge, but try, if I can, to tie up some loose ends.

#release

[redhairedlesbians]

you took away the mystery of knowing you.

pieces of your being that are meant to be inferred, not demanded

you brazenly shown of your personality

because you are not sure of it yourself.

you don’t know who you are, and so you must convince everyone who you are, desperate for them to believe the show, because if they can believe it, you can believe it too.

some part of me feels like you sucked a piece of my being out when you were around. you look at me, searching for some piece of my soul that you can devour and feed off of. another trait you can dust off, try on, and then take off as you please.

you care about pleasure, want, ego. you care about your own selfish persona without mind to those around you. they’re used to it. your soul sucking tendencies have less of an affect to those you’ve been nursing on for years.

you’re an energetic mind-fuck. you came into my life and stole from me like some little fantasy creature that movies swiftly through their thievery and scurries away with a quickness.

(and fuck you, and your fantasy creatures, by the way. i really don’t understand how you have the capacity to be the way you are and have such. BORING INTERESTS. and don’t get me wrong, i love fantasy. but god, i never have to hear you mansplain another fantasy game to me again. i get to learn without your demanding)

and god, i know you intend no harm. i think that’s what makes it worse of all: you cannot fix someone who doesn’t believe that their actions are their own when intention is to play. the most insufferable type of human. because the reality is, most people are not horrible people by heart. many people try their best and abide by their own set of morals that can change based on circumstance. people do not want to be the bad guy ever, because it feels terrible, and so they avoid it at all costs.

because, see for you, your ego is built on such a fragile foundation that an ounce of self reflection is simply too daunting of a task. you feel so deeply insecure that anything that slightly threatens your amazing person facade must. be. terminated. because if that threat makes it’s way through your fragile walls, your entire esteem comes crashing down. so when you don’t do something to hurt someone intentionally, because god why would you, you don’t feel the need to address your actions and how to fix them. to accept responsibility is to acknowledge defeat, and if you accept defeat then this entire facade is exposed. the walls you so rapidly built around the gaping wound in your soul will come crashing down and everyone will know you for what you are: a fraud. weak.

and i know that this is not your fault, but it does highlight a flaw in your being: resistance to change. you have a hard time changing because the shallow pit you grew up in has seeped so far into your bones that it seems more comfortable in the toxic wasteland than in the world i tried to show you. i tried to pull you out. i couldn’t. i wanted you to grow with me, alongside me. but as i grew larger you stayed stagnant, feet stuck in the gunk of the world you grew up in. i wanted to save you. i wish i could have. sometimes i wonder how you’re doing and for a split second i wish you well. i feel sad for you and sometimes i wish to pray on your behalf, share even more of me and send more of my energy in your direction. this urge is fleeting. i’m sick of giving to you. maybe one day this will change. but right now i am feeling much too angry to care. i stayed for so long because i felt bad for you. i loved you. you were part of my life for so long and i wish you had stayed alongside with me. but unfortunately, my friend. you’re going to be stuck in that gunk for a really long time. i wish i could take you with me. however i needed to let you go before you sunk me in with you. sometimes i hope you’re doing well. i felt bad for you. and i punished myself for so long knowing i should leave but understanding why i didn’t.

understanding you didn’t mean i deserved to be subjected to you. you’re a black hole, a energy sucking monster who made me feel horrible.

you took away my confidence and then returned it in increments. you drove me away from resources so that when you replenished them sparsely i would worship the ground you walk on. and it worked. i did. but i also hated you for how you made me feel, and i could never put a finger on it before.

i love who i am without you. i feel so free. i feel… happy on most days. i feel a joy in your absence and that’s so freeing. i fight so hard for myself and myself only.

thank you, but i’d like to be done now