#I said she was the first the media went apeshit over
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When transitioning first made a huge media splash: Caitlyn, January 2014.
#tw: deadname#I didn't say she was the first to transition#I said she was the first the media went apeshit over#Wendy Carlos was probably happy she had a lot less BS in 1972#not yet vintage#national enquirer#mtf#2014#trans*#technology#tabloid#and yeah I'm gonna say it:#I blame being with Kardashians for her change of life :-P
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Dream SMP locations/moments/characters as their respective canon Homestuck songs.
/rp /dreamsmp (based on characters, not creators)
Source: I said so.
SUPER LONG LMAO
The links go with the descriptions above them. Mobile formatting makes the list really confusing. Sorry about that.
The entire SMP. I tried to assign this to a specific event but I couldn't. Eternity is just too powerful. It literally has the best moment in all of Homestuck music history. That kind of raw energy cannot be defined by a single event.
[Eternity Served Cold]
Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur joining - L'Manburg War
[Sburban Jungle]
Pogtopia/Manburg War
[Welcome to the New Extreme]
The First Disc War(s, if you include the other disc-related conflicts)
[Showtime - Imp Strife]
The first half of the Final Disc War
[You Killed My Father (Prepare To Die)]
The second half of the Final Disc War
[Showtime - Piano Refrain]
The Eggpire after Tommy died (Yes I know I’ve made this joke before shut up it was my best meme)
The Banquet. Before the... y’know... murder part.
Actually no, The Banquet including the murder part.
[Pumpkin Party]
Ghostbur entering the prison
[Love You]
Revivedbur exiting the prison (er, just kinda showing up where he died I guess
[Hate You]
Manburg Festival (October 16th)
[Harlequin]
January 5th (New L'Manburg Festival + Ranboo's Panic Room)
[Dark Carnival]
The period between Tommy's death in the Prison and Tommy's revival
[Heir Of Grief]
Ranboo & Fundy's ice cream shop; Niki & Puffy's flower shop
[Moonsetter]
Revivedbur and Quackity with the burger shops
[Beatdown]
Ranboo and Tubbo with the burger shops
[Candles And Clockwork]
Jack Manifold. Just. In general. (AND NO IT’S NOT JUST A SOLLUX JOKE YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I SAW ONE OF YOU FUCKERS MEDIA SHARE THIS ONE TO HIM LAST WEEK)
[La2t Frontiier]
That little arc where Tubbo was trying to be a detective instead of mourning the violent and brutal death of his best friend
[BL1ND JUST1C3]
Doomsday
[Even In Death - T’Morra]
What? You thought I was going to say Carne Vale? You thought Doomsday was [S]: Game Over? Amateurs.
When Dream and Techno inevitably break out of the prison because let’s be real that’s happening one way or another (bonus points if Techno finds out about Dream manipulating Ranboo and goes apeshit)
[Carne Vale]
My DSMP sona when she encounters someone who manipulated the kids
Las Nevadas/ Casino Q
[Black]
The Syndicate lmfaooooooooo (I’m only half kidding here)
[I’m A Member Of The Midnight Crew but it’s the nice a capella version that everyone likes because it’s objectively the best one]
That one time Tubbo finally went to visit Tommy in exile and thought he [S] Game Over’d himself
[Flare]
The stream where they created Church Prime
[Creata]
PLEASE let Tommy just go apeshit ONE time every time he does even one SMALL THING for himself the entire fucking universe turns on him please he deserves to let it all out and kick actual fucking ASS EVEN ONE TIME COME ON
[Valor]
Tales From The SMP/ Karl in General
[Temporal Shenanigans]
Karl’s karaoke nights (yes I know this one isn’t a canon song but it’s a mix of 3 canon songs plus Space Jam okay it counts)
[Slam Jam]
Anyone remember the Karl Reef?
[Fuchsia Ruler]
Wilbur turning a drug van in the woods into an entire country
[WV: Become the Mayor of Cans]
The Dreamon Hunters, my absolute beloveds. My favorite arc on the entire SMP.
[At The Price Of Oblivion]
Tubbo sitting over the remains of his country on L’Manburgian Independance Day earlier this month (yes I’m spelling it as “Independance” because that’s what their constitution said okay it’s their fault not mine)
[Three In The Morning Aftermath]
Tommy leaving Exile (or him being revived I guess idk)
[Savior of the Waking World]
If Sapnap ever DID ANY LORE COME ON MAN YOU HAVE THE MOST POTENTIAL HERE
[Time On My Side]
The big final battle against The Egg that we never got :(
[Battle Against an Unfathomable Enemy]
Enderwalk Ranboo it’s literally perfect
[Black Rose / Green Sun]
I don’t think I even have to tell you what this is for. Look at the title. You’ll know.(Dream in the Prison in case you’re seeing this way in the future and don’t have this context)
[Constant Confinement]
Ranboo & Fundy doing dumb shit together (the good ol’ days)
[Wacky Antics]
I could use this for an actual, plot-relevant location, but no their SCUFFED-ASS NETHER IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SOMEONE JUST FIX IT IT’S SO GARBAGE (except for the portal hub that looks really nice)
[Underworld]
Ranboo’s lil’ Ender particles (chat) jammin to fuckin’ Cabinet Man or some shit during lore
[Arcade Thunder]
Tubbo’s execution
[Trials And Execution]
Clingyduo when they actually get to fight/hang out together canonically
[Skiain Skirmish]
Revivedbur (yes I’m serious)
[Hardchorale]
Dream XD
(I FORGOT IT HAD THE FLOWEY LAUGH AND I GOT WHIPLASH WHILE TYPING THIS DUSIGYUSIHV)
[Lordling]
Dream getting posessed by the Dreamon and having to be exorcised (yeah remember that? Probably not.)
[Sunslammer]
The Inbetween and The Other Side fighting to get Karl to listen (Another one I’m pretty sure is canon)
[Derse Dreamers]
The final battle of the SMP. It’ll happen eventually. It can’t last forever, you know
[Rex Duodecim Angelus]
This went from a shitpost to a very long, fairly accurate (and fairly full of memes) analysis help I’m so tired.
Honorable mentions that I couldn’t add because they’re technically not canon songs:
Eret all the time
[Let Me Dance, Let Me Glisten]
The Eggpire just being able to understand The Egg (I say sarcastically, as if I don’t have this song written in a fictional language memorized)
[Futma Kul Shemtor (Hymn of the Horrorterrors)]
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would you look at harold osborn roaming around the avenger’s tower! they’re supposedly harry and work with oscorp, identifying as a civilian. they are around here often, so i wonder what’s got them here today. it’s been said that they’ve been acting off for one month, so maybe it has to do with the tower. lets just hope the new york times doesn’t have much to say about them in the future.
( @rewrittenintro questionnaire and about under the cut! )
statistics:
name: harold theopolis “harry” osborn
age: 23
faceclaim: gavin leatherwood
alias: harry
powers/skills: harry has no powers, but is pretty intelligent, currently getting a graduate degree in chemical engineering. he’s skilled in science, math, and law, but his skills are almost exclusively academic. he also has money
alliance: none
threat level (out of ten): three - harry is intelligent and has influential power through his family name, but lacks the physical powers and/or tactical gear to be a true threat. he’s also currently still a civilian, meaning he hasn’t taken on his father’s mantle (in fact, he’s completely unaware of it, if it even exists yet)
history file (link wiki): 1, 2, 3
notable changes from 2012 to the timeline they were pulled from: his dad’s been acting really strange lately, putting strain on their relationship. harry’s not sure what’s going on or why his father is acting this way, but their constant tension is really putting a toll on harry.
last memory before ending up in nyc, 2012: getting ready to sneak into his father’s office, trying to find out what he’s been hiding from him.
questionnaire:
How are you feeling? Physically and mentally.
“Well, I woke up hungover, if that tells you anything,” Harry joked, resting his head in his hand. “But in general, pretty alright. Classes are tough, but I wouldn’t exactly expect anything less.”
Where are you living? The same place you lived in 2012, or displaced to a random apartment? Explain to the best of your ability.
“I’m living in an apartment near school. My dad originally wanted me to stay home, but it’s not like we can’t afford a place of my own, you know? Besides, he’s busy with work, I’m busy with school. It’s not like we would have seen each other, anyway.” His last sentence contained an almost bitter note to it, but the way Harry folded his arms across his chest indicated he wasn’t going to delve any deeper than he already had.
What do YOU think we should do about the situation at hand? Try to go back home? The original mission of stopping Thanos? Rewrite the entire story?
Harry blinked in surprise. “What do you want me to do about it? I don’t know! I’m not like Spider-Man or anything. My specialty’s in air pollution, not doomsday, so time travel isn’t exactly my forte. Stopping Thanos would be nice, though.
What will you DO about the situation at hand?
“Again, what am I supposed to do about it?” he asked incredulously. “I don’t have that kind of equipment. Honestly, I’m gonna get a head start on the work that took me years to finish, and hopefully by the time the Avengers figure this out, we’ll return to a much less polluted New York.”
Is there anything that you think needs to be done?
“I don’t know. The physics of time travel or whatever weird space-phenomenon did this is outside my wheelhouse. I don’t know the first thing about what happened, let alone what’s going on.”
If need be, would you be willing to team up with the government and SHEILD to recoup and help the situation at hand?
Harry scoffed, averting his eyes from the conversation. “I’m not the right Osborn to be asking that question to.” His dad had plenty of hands in the pockets of government agents, but whether he would offer Oscorp’s help, Harry wasn’t sure.
What are your worries?
That I’ll fail mom. That dad will keep pulling away, or that he’s doing something stupid. That he won’t accept my research. All of these thoughts flooded Harry’s mind at first, but he didn’t dare say them out loud. All he answered, with a low voice, was, “That things could get worse.”
What do you think are the pros about this situation?
“I mean, if there is a bright side, it’s that I have the knowledge to get my research done sooner.” Harry finally smiled. “I know it sounds selfish, but the sooner I can get this right, the sooner we’re on our way to a New York not plagued by air pollution. Is that really so bad?”
Anything else?
“Yeah, have you seen Peter? I think I left my keys at his place. Or, I hope I did, otherwise I’m screwed.”
about:
harry osborn is the only child of norman osborn, founder and ceo of oscorp, an industrial giant with fingers in just about every pie, from the medical field to up-and-coming technology.
his mother, emily osborn, was an environmental lawyer, who harry looked up to for her strong convictions and her compassion. she died when he was thirteen from oshtoran syndrome, a rare genetic disease. harry worries he might have the same genes, and hopes they remain dormant.
had some acute lonely rich kid syndrome growing up, but this got better as time went on and he went to college aka got more autonomy
his mom is part of the reason he was inspired to pursue an advanced degree in chemical engineering. his current focus is on finding a way to decrease/eliminate air pollution in NYC
this is part of what’s been causing some strain on his relationship with his dad, who harry is realizing might not be on board with harry’s ideas (for selfish reasons)
is also interning at oscorp while he's in school (and being groomed to take over for his father)
harry is also unaware of his dad’s true intentions or identity (aka if norman is currently/becomes the green goblin, harry has no idea)
still wants to fix his relationship with his dad because he’s the only family he’s got (if anything happens to his family he Will Go Apeshit because he already lost his mom when he was young he can’t lose his dad too)
has yet to realize he’s actually good at/big into revenge (a trait he got from his dad, but he’s yet to be in a situation where that’s really required on a dangerous scale)
doesn’t realize his blindness to the feelings of others (and thus his potential to hurt others depending) when he’s blinded by his own strong emotions
has yet to uncover his father’s identity, spider-man’s identity, or feel blindsided by both. there’s definitely potential to take on his father’s mantle, or maybe this time around, things will be different. but the apple never falls far from the tree...
ooc:
( this harry is pulled from a few different sources of media, mainly comics, the spider-man ps4 game, and the 00′s spider-man films. some creative liberties were taken since he isn’t an extremely fleshed-out character in the modern adaptation he’s in and he’s had many different arcs throughout the comics )
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Title: Dance Me to the End of Love
Artists: @still-lovelygarnet (sketch), Lighinz (Ink), @the-mad-starker (Color + Writer)
Notes:
Lighinz: This was the first piece of starker fanart I’ve ever worked on and I’m so glad it was with my lovely teammates. They’re such inspirations! It’s been amazing seeing this all come together. ❤️❤️
Garnet: This drawing has been a journey for me, and I am so happy to see it finished! It’s a beauty and I am proud of my wonderful, stunning, hard working and stupidly talented teammates, @the-mad-starker & Lighinz! And let’s not forget the fic that comes with it, Mads being an absolute trouper as always. ❤️❤️ Thank you guys for having me!
Mads: I had absolutely no idea how much work coloring was but my teammates were always so encouraging and supportive. QAQ I’ll never take fanart for granted again QAQ But I’m happy I gave this a shot and I’ve learned so much. Thanks to my teammates and for this event for bringing us together 💗
The social media sites and media had gone apeshit over the leak. A certain document started circulating, a marriage license.
Tony Stark was married.
The only problem was, whoever had done it had blurred out his spouse’s name.
Fic below the cut!
February 14, 2020.
A Friday night to remember since it was not only Valentine's Day but also the Stark Valentine's Charity ball.
Every year, Stark Industries would raise thousands and this year, it would be no different. Most likely, they'd be able to raise more than any other year previously since the spotlight had been on Tony for the past week.
An important document had been leaked.
A marriage license.
It came as a shock.
The social media sites and media had gone apeshit over the leak. A certain document started circulating, a marriage license.
Tony Stark was married.
The only problem was, whoever had done it had blurred out his spouse's name.
And so the paparazzi were on the hunt for a Mrs. or Mr. Stark only to find out Tony had taken a two week business trip.
False, they had discovered. The business trip was actually a honeymoon and the trail went cold until now.
Tony had managed to avoid them once he came back, no husband or wife in sight. That caused an even bigger commotion since it piqued everyone's curiosity. It was easy enough for Tony to remain unreachable, considering the man lived in the penthouse above Stark Industries.
It wasn't as easy for Peter though since he still lived in Queens with his aunt, but no one was all too interested in him. No one, except Tony.
Tony, who, despite Peter's insistence that he didn't need to be picked up, had arrived at his aunt's 5:30 on the dot. It wasn't unusual though since Tony was just spontaneous and hard to say no to.
Peter's boss and mentor sat beside him in the limo driving them to the event. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander over the man sitting beside him.
Tony Stark was aglow from all the sun he'd been enjoying and more than that, he was genuinely happy. The smile on his face said as much, a charming and almost dopey smile that not many were accustomed to seeing. Marital bliss suited the older man even if his smiles deepened the lines on his face.
To Peter, Tony has never looked so handsome.
He fidgeted in his seat, still not used to wearing the kind of attire that's required for these things.
Tony picked out his suit though, a cream-colored piece that only seemed to accentuate his slim but fit body. In contrast, the older man had worn a navy blue suit along with a very light, almost white, pink shirt. A rose was tucked into his shirt pocket and Peter smiled at the sight.
"The polls for the identity of Mrs. Stark is pretty funny," Tony mused as he scrolled through the media sites on his phone.
"Who's winning now?" Peter asked as he leaned closer to peek at his phone.
Pepper Potts's name was nowhere in the list but only because she had adamantly denied it from the very start. The paparazzi had also proven that Ms. Potts had been attending a company business while Tony had disappeared for his honeymoon.
"Who is that even…?" Peter laughed. "Natasha Romanoff…?"
Tony bumped his knee against his and chuckled.
"They got a hold of the guest list," Tony explained, "that's why she's jumped up in the polls."
Peter hummed but leaned back.
"Too bad the only person accompanying you is your protege," Peter said, knee bouncing as he scrolled through the list.
There was a separate poll for men, too, since Tony wasn't exactly shy about his preferences. Peter's heart skipped a beat when he saw his own there, listed near the very bottom at place number twenty-one out of twenty-five.
Warmth. Tony's hand settled on top of his bouncing knee. His wedding ring glinted in the light, a simple golden band with one studded diamond embedded inside.
"Breathe, kid," Tony instructed gently. "You sure you wanna do this? I know these public things aren't your scene."
Peter was anxious and it was obvious. He took a deep breath, stopped his fidgeting, and focused his runaway thoughts.
He knew that if he had said so right now that Tony would bring him home.
That, more than anything, was what had Peter returning the smile. It was a bit strained from the upcoming event, but it was there. He settled a hand over Tony's and felt the smooth, hard metal beneath his fingers. A gentle squeeze was given to show his appreciation.
"I can do this," Peter said and then corrected himself. "I want to do this."
"That's my spunky little intern," Tony smiled back at him.
"Not an intern anymore," Peter reminded him with a fond shake of his head.
He hasn't been an intern for almost two years and was expecting to take over as the R&D department manager of Stark Industries within the next six months.
And the relationship between him and Tony...
Tony grinned at the correction.
"Of course not. How do I keep forgetting?" Tony pretended to chide himself.
Peter was about to make a quip about his age but then the limo came to a stop at the entrance.
Outside, he saw the crowd of reports just waiting to catch a glimpse of Tony's spouse who they expected had ridden with him. He wondered how they'd react when they see just little old Peter Parker trailing after his boss.
Everyone was used to seeing Peter by Tony's side since he joined SI. Tony, himself, had called Peter his protégé, his next big project, the rising star of SI… the list of affectionate nicknames go on and on and has accumulated into a big pile of endearments.
Peter cherished each one.
"Knock 'em dead," was the last thing Tony said before they went to face the crowd.
The camera flashes were blinding. Even after two years of it, Peter still forgot to expect them until it was already too late and dots were dancing in his vision.
As expected of Tony Stark, he owned the audience's attention and smiled at every camera turned his way. Peter followed behind and was careful to keep away from the reporters.
No one was really interested in him since it was Tony that they wanted to get at.
Peter watched, amused, as Tony deflected every inquiry regarding his spouse that was thrown his way. This was a charity ball, after all, and the older man turned every question into answers that promoted and brought the attention back to the event in question.
Peter didn't know how he did it but it was a superpower he'd have to learn in the future.
The event area was decorated in a beautiful mess of Valentine's Day colors. The tables were set in white with stunning displays of bouquets. The roses were in full bloom, vibrant reds that popped out when surrounded by the more gentle pinks and whites of the surrounding flowers.
Crowds of people already sat at their tables, socializing and having a good time with wine being served.
It was a very large event and just standing there, taking it all in, Peter felt he could've easily lost himself in there. But then he felt a strong and familiar presence by his side and he turned, finding Tony right there beside him.
At that moment, the room could've been filled to capacity and Peter wouldn't have noticed anyone else besides Tony.
To him, it was obvious that he was in love with his boss. To others, maybe it wasn't as obvious since they liked to think of him as Tony's mini-me.
A lot of people also felt that they knew what Tony's feelings and thoughts were. It was easy to believe that since Tony was such an outspoken and outgoing person. He could talk on and on about something, injecting his insights and thoughts on a subject, and the listener would only have a glimpse of who Tony really was.
So, everyone thought that they knew Tony Stark because of his past reputation and his easy-going personality.
Then Tony did something like secretly getting married and people suddenly realized how very little they knew about him. They hadn't even known he was dating, let alone serious enough to pop the question.
They didn't see Tony the way Peter did, didn't know him the way Peter did so how could he blame them for being so oblivious?
Every smile Tony gave to others, he gave twice as many to Peter in darted glances and quick flashes. He always pulled Peter into the conversation and Peter wondered if others recognized just how often Tony spoke about him.
Maybe they did. Maybe they brushed it off.
That would change tonight.
Many had asked about the mysterious Mr. or Mrs. Stark. Curious eyes searched for Tony's spouse by his side and seemed to slip right over Peter. It didn't upset him at all. It made him happy that he was such a well recognized figure in Tony's life.
The money came pouring in for the charity and Tony gave them his dazzling smile. Appetizers were served, the guests' chatter dropping to low murmurs as they were served finger foods that could've easily replaced dinner with how generous it was.
A short speech was made and Tony looked so handsome with the mic in his hand and a bright gleam in his eye.
Peter, from his seat at the front table, could practically feel how the guests were hoping for Tony to introduce his spouse.
And like the tease Tony was, just shortly before concluding his speech, he had the audacity to say, "I know many of you are dying to meet my sweetheart." He gave the crowd a wink, "And it is Valentine's Day so it would make sense, huh?"
A pause as the crowd waited patiently or impatiently for the big reveal.
"But this ball isn't about me or my newly beloved, but we'll see if we can get some more surprises in by the end of the night. Dinner should be coming out shortly and then, we'll get to the fun part of the evening. Dancing!"
Tony rejoined the first table, completely at ease with his selected dinner mates. He flashed Peter a quick grin before he nudged his seat closer.
"What do you think? Will they be lucky enough?" Tony leaned in to ask.
Beneath the table, a warm hand settled on his knee, a reassuring weight. Peter had to fight to keep the smile from splitting across his face.
The whole dancing part of the event made him nervous and Tony had promised him that he didn't need to. Just thinking about it made his heart pound but when he looked at the older man, he felt it melt into a mess of goo and affection.
He subtly slipped his hand beneath the table, settling it above Tony's and gave it a squeeze.
"Maybe," he said with a faint smile.
They withdrew both their hands as the waiters came out and served dinner. The dinner SI provided for their guests was almost decadent. It warmed their bellies with good food and along with the alcohol from the open bar, laughter and smiles were being exchanged with ease.
The clatter of utensils working over near and veggies filled the room and the soft quiet conversations lulled as people ate.
And just as dinner was wrapping up, a familiar tune started to play. Peter glanced and Tony and found the man staring back at him, unabashed and grinning from ear to ear.
He returned it with an exasperated shake of his head, but when Tony held his hand out… Peter took it.
He was pulled from his seat and led onto the empty dance floor. The music swirled around them and the entire hall fell into a hush as more and more people noticed the pair on the floor.
Tony led Peter in a dance and it was there that everyone's eyes were finally opened to the truth.
The person they had been looking for all evening had been by Tony's side the entire time.
There was no doubt about it now, as the audience's eyes followed the pair. Fluid, graceful movements… Hand in hand, they swept across the dance floor, perfectly in sync in body, as well as mind.
It was undeniable, the tenderness that spread across Tony's face as he looked at Peter
Undeniable, when Peter smiled so sweetly at him.
They danced and danced and to Peter, it was like the entire hall disappeared. There was no one else but them and all the anxiety, all the doubts faded away as he looked into Tony's eyes.
They had taken a long path to get where they were today. What started as a simple, professional relationship slowly transformed into a quiet, but comfortable silence as they worked.
The silence became filled with chatter and once one started talking, the other would answer. Their quiet work hours became filled with laughter and scandalized jokes then with soft teasing. The hunger for each other's company grew until it spilled out of the lab and brought them together in movie theaters then quiet little evenings in Peter's apartment.
Their first kiss was a memory that made them both grin and laugh. A moment of spontaneity as Tony babbled on and on, a flush of excitement tinting his cheeks red. Then shocked silence as Peter shut him up with a press of his lips.
Do that again, Tony had dared and Peter hadn't backed down since. He'd done it countless times until they were both breathless from it.
Countless dates and secret smiles being exchanged at the office. I love you's being exchanged softly and meaningfully. Reverently. Then the ease in which those words came, each dropping it casually in their texts and whenever they parted. It didn't make those significant words any less meaningful. In fact, it only reaffirmed, over and over, how they felt about each other.
Months fast-forwarded and then Tony was kneeling in front of him, a black box in hand and Peter staring dumbly at him like he hadn't expected it at all. The mister to my Mr. Stark, Tony had casually said once upon a time and now… Now, the ring sat on Peter's fingers, a quiet but unbreakable declaration.
All those memories whirled around them as they danced. The ease in which they trusted one another was obvious. The love they had was now glaringly obvious, as obvious as the beautiful sparkle that Peter's diamond ring gave off, a perfect mirror to Tony's wedding band.
And when the song came to an end, Tony's mic turned on. That voice that Peter has heard whispering love into his ears come on the speakers, breathless from excitement and exertion.
"I don't need to make introductions," Tony said while looking into Peter's eyes. "You all know who he is."
--
Thank you to our wonderful artists and writer who participated in the first Starker Games!
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The Distance Between Us
Chapter 25: Back to School Blues
Pairing: Rowena x reader
Summary: The new semester starts, and new friendships form.
Editor: @miss-moon-guardian
*****
Funny thing about consequences — they tended to bite you in the ass.
Hard.
Rowena wasn't even mad. At least that was the impression you got from the spam of texts and private message boxes on every social media site you'd friended her on.
You ignored them all.
You hadn't talked to her since the morning of January first.
You'd woken up snuggled against her under the covers. What led to that, you didn't know. Everything after the kiss, which was when you'd resumed drinking, was a blank. You were pretty certain you hadn't had sex, but everything else was a mystery. If you'd shared more kisses, they were lost to the hangover.
Rowena claimed you hadn't.
You had taken her word for it.
As if waking up in her arms wasn't enough, her mother had greeted you on your way to the bathroom and had asked you to stay for breakfast.
You had, and afterwards you were gone.
Future you would sort everything out, you'd thought. If you ignored Rowena, the problem would go away until future you was ready to deal with it.
Then days melted away and the first day of school was here, and you realized what an idiot you'd been.
It was easy to not talk to Rowena, to act as if her messages didn't exist, when you didn't have to see her in person. It was easy to hate yourself, to go over the events of the night and beat yourself up. To tell yourself, over and over, that she deserved better than a friend who took advantage of her when she was at her most vulnerable.
Everything was easy when she wasn't standing right in front of you.
Ashamed of your behavior as you were, you knew you couldn't ignore her anymore.
It was time to face the music.
If it were up to you, you would've postponed seeing her. But you couldn't do that to her. You'd hurt her enough as it was.
Rowena didn't have Olivette anymore. Didn't have Olivette's little posse or Lucifer. Didn't have their friends and acquaintances on her side.
You were her friend now. You and Sam and Crowley and the rest of your little group. If any of them had a problem with that, you would deal with it. But you couldn't leave her alone.
Breaking it off with Lucifer and Olivette was hard enough. Having the entire school hear about what she'd gone through, what they'd done to her, probably even harder. There would be leers, and sneers, and rumors.
She couldn't be alone throughout it all.
You wouldn't let her be alone.
She was alone back in Scotland. Had to suffer through bullying and isolation without a single ounce of support.
Never again.
You'd made a promise to be there for her and you intended to keep it.
You waited for her at the gate. Your frozen bones begged you to go inside, but you wanted to walk her in. Wanted to show the sneering popular kids and the rumor-hungry vultures that she had someone on her side.
"Hey," you said as way of greeting, an awkward smile blooming on your mouth. Your heart raced, panicked, anxious, heat rushing into your cheeks.
Rowena blinked. "Oh, so you are talking to me. Could have fooled me."
You deserved that.
"I wasn't—"
"You were."
You definitely were.
"I just…" I just hated myself so much I couldn't bear to talk to you. You would have to explain it. You owed her that much. "Can we talk about it later?"
She narrowed her eyes, suspicious.
She had every right to be.
You hadn't given her much of a choice.
"Fine," she said after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.
You breathed out in relief. "Thank you," you said and meant it, from the bottom of your heart. "I'm sorry."
"Later, remember?"
"I know, I just… I need you to know you didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't avoiding you because I was mad at you."
"I figured as much."
"Right." What did she think was the reason? Was she as mad at you as you were? "So, um, let's go in."
She stared, a knowing look in her eyes. "I don't need a babysitter."
Expect her to go for the defensive. "We're still friends, aren't we?"
"As far as I know," she said with a shrug.
You deserved that, too.
"As your friend, it's my duty to look out for you."
"I can take care of myself, Y/N. I'm not made of glass."
But, even as the words fell from her mouth, you could tell she appreciated your support. Her voice was too soft, tone too mild for anger.
She could play tough all she wanted — she wanted you to be there as much as you wanted it.
"We all need backup, don't we?" you asked. Before she could utter a retort, you said, "You know they're gonna be assholes."
"I know that, thank you very much," Rowena said. "I've spent four years with them. I know how they work."
"Then you know you shouldn't be alone." She scowled at you. You sighed. "I made you a promise, didn't I?"
"I suppose," she conceded.
"If they so much as look at you wrong, I'll kick their asses."
"Please, don't," she said half-heartedly. "I think I've used up all my get-out-of-trouble cards on Fergus."
You were flattered by the mere fact she considered it.
"What did happen with Crowley? He didn't tell me much," you said as you started walking inside. "I just know that your mom threatened Principal Shurley."
"Och, she was furious," Rowena said, an amused smile playing on her mouth. "Threatened to involve the police and sue him and the school."
Damn.
"She's badass."
She tilted her head up proudly. "Aye."
"Like mother, like daughter," you couldn't resist commenting, which earned you a significant look. One of those that resembled that of a cat eyeing its prey, eating its vulnerability up like candy. Compliments — Rowena MacLeod's drug of choice. "Did you have to be there?"
She nodded. "They called me out of class. I wasn't planning on saying anything, but Principal Shurley wanted to expel Fergus. Our mum was out of her mind. She didn't know what to believe. You know what Fergus is like."
You knew better than you liked to admit.
Trouble was practically the boy's middle name.
"So I told them everything," Rowena continued. A bitter chuckle escaped her. "Mum went… I believe the term you would use is apeshit."
You let out a chuckle of your own. "I can imagine."
"Lucifer isn't supposed to come near me. But I imagine he'll find a way."
Just as the words left her mouth, some of the kids looked at her and snickered. A couple of friends leaned closer to whisper to each other. A few of the popular girls, among them members of Olivette's little group, mumbled something indecipherable that made them all burst into giggles.
You glared at each and every one of them. Instinctively, your arm snaked around Rowena. You pulled her to you, against you, your grip on her tightening as you entered the school and passed by more onlookers.
Come on, you thought, almost challenging them. Do something. Say something loud and clear. I fucking dare you!
You were ready to wipe the floor with whomever thought themselves brave enough.
Or kick them in the crotch while screaming like Tarzan.
Whatever sent the message that Rowena wasn't to be touched, or hurt, or bullied. That she had you now, and, unlike her previous friends, you weren't just pretending to care about her.
You loved her.
So much.
Too much.
If anyone were to try anything, they had better be prepared for the only thing worse than an overprotective friend was an overprotective friend with more-than-friendly feelings.
"He's a coward," you said. "So are they. Look at them! It's like they'd drop dead if they didn't gossip."
"I'm sure that is exactly what they think would happen," Rowena said. "Everybody loves a juicy story."
She made no attempts to remove your arm. Gave no signs that she was uncomfortable. She just walked beside you, with your arm around her, head held high and proud as the crowds stared and whispered. Every step she took was graceful. If the unpleasant attention got to her, she didn't let it show. Instead, her face was a blank, a mask of frost as cold as the air outside. Her safety blanket.
They couldn't hurt her if she didn't let them.
They couldn't do anything if she didn't let it show.
A chorus of greetings suddenly erupted as your friends, standing in a circle by a wall as always, noticed you coming. High fives were exchanged. Jokes told. Smiles bright on mouths. As if you hadn't seen one another for a decade rather than two weeks.
Meg had her arm around Castiel, who was awkward as ever. Dean high fived you. Crowley made a sarcastic quip that made you laugh and roll your eyes at the same time. Sam gave you a gentle smile.
All was the same as always.
Then their eyes landed on Rowena, who was still wrapped in your one-armed embrace, and a quiet, deafening, uncomfortable, settled down like fog.
Cheeks flaming, you pulled your arm back. A tad too quickly for it to not be suspicious.
Your friends noticed, but no one said a word. They just stared, eyes narrowed into slits. Scanned you like microscopes, taking in every detail, every twitch on your face, every flickering emotion you tried your hardest to hold back for letting it show would make everything worse.
"Rowena, it's nice to see you." Sam was the first to break the silence, kind and courteous as always. Friendly to the bone. The only one who didn't mind her presence and, you were certain, would welcome her into the group with open arms.
"Samuel," Rowena said with a nod. Her face was a mask of steel, a well-manufactured facade. A protection against the awkwardness for she'd had enough of it for one day and she wasn't going to let it get to her. "Always the flatterer."
He grinned. "How are you doing?"
"As well as one can when they're the school's punching bag." It came out bitter, sour. Raw with emotion she wasn't willing to let show.
"You know that's not true," you told her, laying a hand on her shoulder.
She eyed it, cautious, but let it stay there. "Isn't it?" She snorted. "Not that it matters. Been there, done that, aye? I'll get used to it."
You shouldn't have to, you wanted to say. Your heart ached for her, broke into a thousand pieces.
She didn't have to get used to it.
She didn't have to take it.
She didn't have to live with it as if it were a normal part of life.
No matter what she'd done, who she'd hung out with — she didn't deserve to suffer like this.
"Rowena…" you trailed off, unsure what to respond.
To the surprise of everyone, Meg spoke up. "Punch them in the mouth." All eyes turned to her. "What? It's what I'd do. Whenever they say anything — or, hell, if they just look at you wrong — punch them. Hard. Won't be long before they start fearing you. No one wants to talk shit about a crazy chick, right?"
Rowena smirked, quite impressed, by the looks of it.
You shared the sentiment.
Meg was right — a good, well-aimed punch was a sure way to shut any foul mouth.
"No!" Sam said, horrified. "You can't just go around punching people!"
"And they can go around spreading rumors?" Meg scoffed. "I don't think so."
"That's not what I meant."
She ignored him. "Lucifer tried to spread shit when I cut him off. Didn't get too far." She raised up her fist proudly, balled so tight her knuckles were sheet-white. "Turns out, people love not being punched more than they love gossiping."
Well, shit.
Who would have thought Meg, of all people, would accept Rowena so quickly?
It made sense, you supposed. There was a time Meg used to be in the same boat. Lucifer's little toy, pushed around and talked down to. She was into him, and he used that to his advantage. She wasn't good enough for him to date her, but that didn't stop him from teasing her. Didn't stop him from flirting and backing away at the very last moment. Didn't stop him from giving her hope and then crushing it without regard for her feelings.
She got out.
And so had Rowena.
Their personalities may have different, but this was one thing they had in common.
"I can punch them for you," Meg offered.
Rowena blinked, startled. Utterly taken aback. "You would do that?" Her tone was disbelief personified.
Meg grinned like it was Christmas. "Why not? You're part of the gang now, aren't you? Besides, any enemy of Lucifer is a friend of mine."
"I…" Rowena trailed off, at a loss of words. She didn't know Meg. She knew she used to hang around Lucifer and that she was dating his brother, but aside from that, she knew nothing about her.
She was sure Meg knew plenty about her; how she used to join in on bullying; how she laughed at others' misfortune; how she stood aside while her — now former — friends made people's lives a living hell.
And yet, despite all that, she wanted to help her. She welcomed her with open arms and was already treating her as a friend.
Rowena couldn't understand that.
You hoped she learned to soon.
This was what friendship was. What love was. Acceptance. Protection. Kindness.
Heavens knew she needed plenty of it.
"Kill me now," Crowley commented dramatically as usual.
You sighed. "What's your problem now?"
He looked at Rowena pointedly. "She's my problem. As if living with her's not enough. Now I have to be around her at school."
"As if I enjoy your presence," Rowena shot back, face scrunched with distaste. "Don't flatter yourself, Fergus. This is not a walk in the park for me, either. I most certainly don't mean to intrude."
"Hey, hey!" you said, hands up in a placating motion. "You're not intruding." Crowley scoffed and you fired, "She's not! She's my friend and she has every right to be here."
"I think what Crowley is trying to say—" Dean tried, ever the devil's advocate. He never liked Rowena. Even after he'd found out what she'd gone through, he remained suspicious of her. He fully supported Crowley beating the shit out of Lucifer — he'd admitted he would've done the same — but his feelings about her remained unchanged.
You cut him off. "Crowley's being an ass!"
He was entitled to his feelings, but he had no right to talk shit about her.
Rowena was your friend — his brother's friend — whether he liked it or not.
Either he deal with it, or you cut him off for, though you'd known him for far longer, Rowena was the one you loved, the one you'd sworn to protect. What she was to you, Dean could never be.
Your choice was clear in the matter.
"Does anyone else have a problem with Rowena being here?" you asked.
"No," Sam said.
"I was clear, wasn't I?" Meg said.
"Why would I?" Castiel said.
Dean just shrugged, not in the mood for arguments, while Crowley rolled his eyes.
"There," you said. "She's staying."
"I don't want to impose," Rowena said, staring pointedly at her brother.
"You're not imposing. You heard them," you told her, squeezing her shoulder. "You're my friend. Where I go, you go."
"Yeah," Sam said. "You're one of us now."
She didn't seem too thrilled at the prospect for your group was far from what she was used to, but she pulled on a smile, bright and happy.
Looking forwards to her new, secure life.
"Welcome to the team," you told her, intent on making sure she got it.
*****
Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock
#rowena#rowena macleod#spn#supernatural#spn family#rowena x reader#crowley#sam winchester#dean winchester#meg masters#castiel#my fics#fanfiction#high school au
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My OUAT Rewatch -- S6E10 -- Wish You Were Here
Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive
This episode was glorious. GLORIOUS. I mean yeah, there are nits to pick at and I’ll certainly do that, but this was basically a Swan Queen fanfic come to life with Princess Emma and her “Prince” -- er -- Queen -- and the CS fans went totally apeshit and it was BEAUTIFUL.
BEAUTIFUL.
No game show today -- Emma’s supposed to look like that, and she even slams herself for it. Like I said . . . . . GLORIOUS. And Emma wants Regina to have the “key to her kingdom.” ACTUAL LINE on the show. Bless.
It took them TEN episodes this season to get to an episode that didn’t make me bored or stabby or just say “well this isn’t THAT bad” -- I mean the ratings are below 1.0 at this point due to 9 episodes of utter bullshit, but at least we see the light at the end of the tunnel? Sort of?
Also this guy. Come on in, the only thing being dragged in here are the writers, the CS fans, and the utter stupidity of the logic of the Wish Realm . . . . . which we will have MORE fun with in S7!
Okay, first of all -- let’s link this BEAUTIFUL post paralleling Sleeping Beauty and her prince to Emma and Regina . . . .
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/180498595422/frankie-blue-sq-sleeping-beauty-prince-phillip
So before the nitpicking starts, lets discuss the things I enjoyed:
1. Swan Queen OBVIOUSLY
2. Rumbelle FINAL-FUCKING-LY having a conversation and not being a pile of OOC bullshit. I still have nits to pick at that -- but they’re tiny nits and being starved for content after being fucked over by the writers for THREE YEARS now I’ll take what I can get. Which is sad but it is what it is. So the content wins over the nits to pick. For now.
3. Okay, I enjoyed much of the Wish Realm. I mean -- I have nits there too and those I WILL pick at, but most of that will be in S7. But at THIS POINT -- it was about 85% fun, 15% bullshit. See below for bullshit.
So that I enjoyed. It was truly the first episode of this season that I consider to be, overall, actually GOOD. Good writers should not have their first quality episode in their SIXTH SEASON to be halfway into said season, but these are not good writers so is anyone really surprised? Also, I pointed out after EPISODE FOUR that the writers had already switched gears by killing off one of their touted S6 villains so I’m presuming, aside from Aladdin and Jasmine, that the rest of the Land of Untold Stories will REAMAIN untold because the writers have the attention span of a gnat and suck at follow through. Am I correct?
(Oh lord I’m SO GLAD A&E never got their hack hands on THAT. Can you even imagine?)
So aside from Agrabah stuff, say bye to the Untold Stories. Perhaps you will be found on A&E’s AMAZING STORIES that is currently hiding on Apple+TV with zero accolades or attention. Which is really what they deserve.
One more nit to pick at the writers -- can you please -- PLEASE stop with the rape stuff? Look . . . . we all know that you have some sort of fetish for female rapists, you already have two of them in canon and you’ll be adding a third in S7. STOP. Its gross. Its never addressed the way it should be. So the Evil Queen making rape suggestions to Aladdin, and the only response from him is “ew” and its played at FUNNY?
I mean if this were the first time the show had ever done anything like this, MAYBE it could have come off as a comedic moment. MAYBE. But in S6, after a long history of rapey shit? Nope.
Okay . . . . . onto the CS fan stuff . . . . now this IS funny, and it may take a while . . . . .
I think by now, anyone reading these reviews, present or future, if you’ve gotten this far, you GET that I’m not a Hook fan or a CS fan. But I’m not really sure if you understand just HOW BAD it was while this show was originally airing. And since we’ve now hit THE episode where the CS fandom lost their collective shit in the most ridiculous way possible, I think this is a good point to explain -- especially for those who weren’t there during the original run -- what was up with this.
See, the CS fans, once S4 started, got collectively more annoying with every episode. And it wasn’t just the general fans -- although they WERE bad -- they had a handful of ringleaders that were just flat out AWFUL people that would hijack the posts of fans of Rumbelle or Swan Queen or Swanfire and just tear into them for no reason. And if they couldn’t hijack because they were blocked, they’d screen cap and proceed to harass on their own blogs. This was a DAILY occurrence. DAILY. For THREE YEARS. Also, many of us are very certain that the IMDB boards got shut down -- ALL OF THEM -- because of an especially rabid CS fan that went there for no purpose other than trolling, and there was no option to block on IMDB like on Tumblr.
Also, the CS fans had the support of the media. Every media outlet was up CS’s ass by S4, deserved or not. It was VERY difficult to find any outlet that said positive things about Rumbelle or Swan Queen, and when we did it was cause for a tear-filled celebration of joy and relief. And this RARELY happened.
Also, there was one particular reporter for Entertainment Tonight, Leanne Aguilera, who was so far up CS and A&E’s ass that she probably qualified as a legitimate hemorrhoid. She liberally blocked Rumbelle and Swan Queen fans on Twitter and wanted NOTHING to do with us. So when she’d “ask for questions” on Twitter for interviews, of fucking COURSE they were all going to be CS questions, because EVERYONE ELSE was blocked by her!
Lastly, ABC’s official social media everything was CS this and CS that. They promoted the shit out of them, non-stop, and did so without apology. And Adam, one of the head show runners, mostly ignored fans of Rumbelle and Swan Queen on Twitter, but he’d HAPPILY engage with the CS fans. DAILY.
Also, we non-CS fans were told -- repeatedly -- to shut up or stop watching if we didn’t like what we were seeing. They heaped praise upon praise to Adam and the writers and thought that we were the most horrible people on the planet for even DARING to challenge their brilliant skills.
So knowing all of THAT . . . . after this episode . . . . which was basically a Swan Queen love letter . . . . . the CS fans LOST THEIR SHIT. Here are some of the glorious results of that . . . . . . .
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154091883637/omg-that-episode-swan-queen-af-tribute-to
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154061253177/c-fans-being-obtuse-as-fuck-on-twitter-this
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154088222312/and-the-hits-just-keep-on-coming
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154075793467/honest-question-are-the-disgruntled-c-fans
Please make it a point to check out the replies in that last one because some of them are BEAUTIFUL, and also there is a flat out HIJACK of that post that pefectly illustrates all of the bullshit that I just laid out for you here. Eh, I’ll make it easy for you -- here’s the hijack -- with comments:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154118960442/honest-question-are-the-disgruntled-c-fans
Okay . . . . the wish realm . . . . here are the 15% of things that I call bullshit on:
So Neal/Baelfire is dead in EVERY REALM. Whee. We get it. But also . . . . if he was IN this realm, then why would Rumple need to be searching for him via dark curse? Makes no sense.
Speaking of Rumple -- in S2 he said he was NOT trapped and could have escaped any time he wanted to, he just didn’t want to. So WTF?
Why is Henry still named HENRY?
Why is the Wish Robin Hood YOUNG -- he should be the same age as Snow and Charming.
Now I know that A&E had some bullshit explanation, which some people bought, but going into S7 -- it’s just stupid. STUPID.
Finally, I made a post after this episode -- which TANKED in the ratings, BTW -- that I’d like to share:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154082059462/so-the-ratings-tanked-last-night-for-ouat
I stand by that post. And frankly, I think I was RIGHT about the rest of S6. And everything else.
Points tally:
40 points to start
5 points for Swan Queen
3 points for the implied Swanfire
1 point for in character Belle -- I personally don’t feel she’s THERE yet, but A for effort
5 points for in character Rumple
5 points deducted for Hook
Despite the nits to pick, I can’t deduct anything more and I’ll give this one the 25 bonus because it’s really pulled the show out of its slump.
Total points: 74
Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!
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Teen Titans Spotlight #7: Hawk
I finally found Rob Liefeld's reference for drawing guns!
This was the airport in Denver before it was replaced by the Illuminati.
I thought this scene was going to instantly morph into the cover. Stupid airports and their no guns policies! Although this was 1987. Couldn't you bring anything you wanted onto a plane in 1987?! Maybe I'm thinking of flying in the seventies. Once when I was seven, I remember sitting next to a guy flying with fifteen goats and a keg of sulfuric acid while I let the tired Catholic priest seated next to me rest his head in my lap.
Excuse me while I draw a MAGA cap onto Hawk in every panel of this comic book so it reads more like 2019. He's got their philosophy down pat on the first page! "I love everything lefties hate even if I don't know anything about those things! At least I fucking know what the 'AR' in AR-15 stands for! Idiots!"
The only problem with this initial scene is that the anti-nuclear canvasser puts his hands on Hawk and then security proclaims there was no provocation. No wait. I used the phrase "the only problem" wrong because there are multiple problems with this scene. One of the problems, I admit, stems from me reading this in 2019. When I first read the panel with security saying, "Let's go," I didn't read it as security breaking up the fight. I read it in the voice of every fucking kid on Twitch or Mixer ready to escalate some shit. I thought the fight was just getting started! Another problem because I should probably wring out more than one extra problem after saying this scene had more than one problem with it is that the canvasser even continues to argue his point with somebody who threatened to give them a fat lip. He's never going to get any signatures from willing people if he spends all his time arguing with people who are obviously not into his groove. Canvassers need way thicker skin than this guy has! Just say "Have a nice day!" and move on!
I didn't know that stripping down to your underwear was a valid defense for violently going apeshit bananas in public.
It's actually worse than stripping down to his underwear. Hawk actually had to unpack his costume and get into it to prove that he had the right to punch a hippie. Security is all, "Well, since you got the Twinkie product placement in, I guess we have to let you go. But don't go punching anybody who isn't a terrorist from now on, you got me?!"
The Stapleton Airport Security team have ferreted out a plan by "one of these Middle Eastern terrorist gangs" to sabotage the Crow Mountain Nuclear Power Plant. Hawk pulls his mask down and screams, "Not Crow Mountain! Nuclear is my favorite!" The Security Chief says, "Hopefully the guy you punched was actually one of the terrorists because that would make your actions seem less crazy in context later (even if you didn't actually know he was a terrorist) and also make our story seem less bigoted by making the terrorists white guys." Hawk responds, "Why isn't anybody biting my Twinkie? Don't you understand what an imperative is?!"
Now I wish Hawk was a violent, short-fused asshole who was only concerned with proper grammar.
Hawk tells the security guys that he'd love to help kill a few terrorists so call him if some shit goes down. Security is all, "Apparently we can't charge Teen Titans with assault so, um, enjoy your stay! Try not to punch too many Coloradans!" But they seemingly come to their senses when Hawk is out of punching range.
With all these snack references, I suspect the terrorists will be stopped by their love of fruit pies.
Hawk is in Colorado to attend an anti-terrorism seminar at a corporate funded think tank called the Kellogg's Group. Why is this comic book insisting on making my mouth water?! Does it know I'm currently not eating sugar?!
Hawk is the only hero to attend this anti-terrorism seminar because the other Teen Titans, the Justice League, and the Outsiders declined because they didn't want to be seen endorsing any particular group. Infinity Inc. wasn't invited.
Hawk makes a huge splash at the seminar with logical statements and incendiary truth bombs.
Almost got that terrorism sorted! Time for a Ding Dong!
Hawk leaves the meeting to go look at Colorado's natural beauty while fuming about wimps and losers. I'm sympathetic to writer Mike Baron's leftist viewpoints so I'm not going to start calling Hawk "Strawman" during this commentary. But, I mean, he's really quite the caricature of the super-patriotic, support-the-police-at-any-cost, hippies-fucking-suck redneck, isn't he? I probably didn't use dashes correctly in that last sentence but I felt it made it somewhat clearer. For the layman! I know grammar nerds are going all Grammar Hawk on me! "You wimp! You loser! You should be gunned down the Israeli way!"
The National Guard stops by in a helicopter to tell the Kellogg's Corporation that they need to evacuate. The Stapleton Airport Security Guard Detectives were right! Terrorists have captured the Crow Mountain Nuclear Plant! Hawk watches from his idyllic perch on the mountain and thinks more of his profound thoughts.
MAGA!
What the fuck is Hawk toting around in that ginormous case? Is it Mike Brady's architectural designs for a new theme park? Or is it a Banana Splits poster?!
I'm only five pages into this comic book and I don't think I've ever been so entertained. Hawk is fucking nuts. Is every character with "Hawk" in their name a ranting aggressive conservative bastard? Maybe it's characters with "Hawk" in their name or characters whose names begin with "H" and end with "K"? Is that what made Hulk so angry? Was it welfare queens, immigrants, and the estate tax?
Inside Hawk's gigantic tube is the Hawkglider. That's just a hang-glider made from PVC pipe and a re-purposed parachute.
"If you want something done right wing, you've got to do it yourself!" is the original Ayn Rand quote.
Hawk is a big dumb fucker. He might be the anti-Batman. He glides into the power plant to discover a guard unconscious on the ground. In one panel, he notices the guard has an insect bite on his neck. In the next panel, Hawk gets big by an insect and doesn't make any kind of intuitive or logical connection between the two. Instead he just explodes again, calls the bug a wimp and a loser, and rushes inside to kill some terrorists.
For such an angry guy, he sure sneaks comically.
Hawk discovers more guards out cold with bug bites. That makes him think, "More bug bites...what the heck...they should have called Orkin." Immediately followed by this panel:
"Gah! Where's my gun?!"
Hawk needs to stop being so comically angry, conservative, and stupid or I'm going to scan every panel in this issue.
Now I need to add misogy...wait. Is her name "Stupid Broad"?!
Hawk recognizes Stupid Broad because she was with Jerry, the hippie trying to stop nuclear power. She was outside protesting when the terrorists took over and since she had a wrench on her, she thought maybe she could stop them.
Stupid Broad introduces herself as Bonnie so I guess Stupid Broad is her superhero name. Hawk continues to curse the bugs and tells Bonnie to keep her wrench handy. At least he recognizes a superhero team-up when it's happening. How long before he accidentally calls her Dove?
Now I'm imagining Batman hunting The Riddler with some Gotham Police while he mumbles, "Never let it be said that Doctor Wayne's little boy was stupid!"
Christ. I'd forgotten just how long we've been dealing with this whole "leftist media" bullshit. But it fucking worked. The media was so fucking upset that they kept getting called biased that they simply stopped actually reporting on news and just became parrots of right-wing talking points. It's no surprise that I probably have spent more time shitting on journalists and newscasters in these comic book commentaries than I've spent shitting on Republicans. Because the journalists should know better and have instead chosen the easy, cowardly way of avoiding constant criticism.
Hawk continues to ignore the bug situation until a giant Preying Mantis made out of bugs approaches. It calls itself Arachnid and it wants an end to all sort of fun things: nuclear power, the destruction of the rain forest, the use of chemical pesticides, the production of acid rain. It's practically asking for an end to humans! I hope Hawk kills it!
At one point during the confrontation, Bonnie asks about the Arachnid, "What is it?" This is how Hawk responds:
At first I thought he was being controlled by the bug bites. But, no, this is just his standard demeanor.
After Arachnid states its grievances, Bonnie shouts, "Right on!" Hawk yells, "SHUT UP!" Is this the kind of comic books Comicsgaters are dreaming of going back to? Except for the part where the audience understands Hawk is a huge asshole. They probably read this and, every few pages, rush out into the street to find another guy to high five.
Bonnie starts talking about some Frank Herbert book while Hawk asks out loud, "How does a bunch of stupid bugs expect to destroy a nuclear power plant?" Luckily, Arachnid is a helpful bug golem. It's all, "Termites!" Hawk should have saved his Orkin line for this moment!
There's only a few pages left so when do they introduce the Fruit Pie Wizard and his magic wand of fruit pie creation?
Arachnid disappears into some cracks while the nuclear plants alarms go off, warning of an imminent meltdown. Hawk's plan is to randomly throw switches hoping to get lucky enough to stop the meltdown. Bonnie's plan is to look disaster in the face and find the silver lining.
So every thing he said up until this point was supposed to be encouraging and complimentary?!
Before Hawk can start throwing switches and writer Mike Baron has to do some actual research on what effect that might have on a nuclear power plant beginning to meltdown, Hawk notices an organ in the control room. Hawk's new plan is to hook the organ up to the PA system, play some screechingly high notes, and drive the bugs away! If this works, lawmakers will probably introduce a bill to put organs into every public space, just in case of another terrorist attack by insects.
Hawk's plan works and the police thank him for saving Colorado. Then they immediately turn on Bonnie and threaten to arrest her for trespassing. She doesn't strip down to her underwear to prove she's a Teen Titan though, darn it. Instead, Hawk uses his pull as a Titan to get her off the hook. The cop doesn't appreciate it but what can he do? This is Teen Titans Spotlight On: Hawk, not Teen Titans Spotlight On: Podunk Denver Police Officer.
Later, Hawk returns to the anti-terrorism seminar and basically proposes organs in every public place. What a fucking douche.
The issue ends with Arachnid extending an invitation to Hawk to meet with its queen to discuss negotiations of peace with the insect kingdom. Or maybe it's just Queen Bee behind this all and she's in some serious need for an angry fuck.
Teen Titans Spotlight #7: Hawk Rating: B+. Fuck, I was entertained. No wonder all these assholes love Fox news. It's fun having people tell you that what you think is right and confirming your beliefs that the people who think differently are angry fucking dumbies.
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Ready for your selfie: why public spaces are being Insta designed | Life and style
Ready for your selfie: why public spaces are being Insta designed | Life and style
I f you are ever in Madrid and looking for a bite to eat, you could do worse than to head to Sobrino de Botín. At the world’s oldest restaurant – it opened in 1725 – you can experience a well-reviewed suckling pig supper, while soaking up the atmosphere. It was once frequented by Ernest Hemingway and is still hugely popular, but that has not stopped TripAdvisor reviewers describing it as “cramped” with “narrow stairs”. In the 18th century, lighting and ambience would have come secondary to the food and some good booze (as Hemingway himself said: “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine”), but in 2018 the customer demands much more. In this digital age, the places we choose to visit, eat and stay at increasingly need to be Instagrammable. Design has become, if not all, then at least the starter and the dessert. This new priority doesn’t just mean creating food that can be photographed for social media, although plenty of eateries already cater to that need with the likes of grey ice cream and multicoloured bagels. Instead, the challenge for businesses is to make their premises attractive to social media influencers, so they pose up a storm in front of your store or hotel, luring in followers hungry for the perfect photo opportunity. Evelyn’s Cafe Bar , in Manchester’s Northern Quarter, has capitalised on the modern customer’s desire for a photogenic backdrop. Angus Pride, the manager, says he was inspired by cafe culture in Los Angeles, “as that felt most aligned to the concept of Eastern and Middle Eastern small and large plates we deliver”. Social media imagery was never part of the bar’s original plan, but “when we realised we were so ‘Instafriendly’, we adapted our approach and it’s now key to everything we do.” The cafe uses a mixture of textures and materials and is full of the obligatory hanging plants, but, says Pride, it puts a premium on design that has “longevity over something more contrived for the purposes of social media”. It is not just interiors that are being reshaped. Renowned architect Richard Rogers considers the Tuscan town of Pienza, now a world heritage site, as the first great attempt at a humanist urban design. Under Pope Pius II, the town was remodelled in 1459 around a main square that feels like an outdoor room – encouraging visitors to linger and revel in its beauty. When I lived in Shoreditch in London, I often wondered what the Pius would make of the way it does the same, but in a very different way. Shoreditch, often prefixed with the word “trendy”, works hard to seduce anyone with a smartphone. Its cafes and restaurants are stuffed with hanging plants, rose gold and inspirational signs, details designed to be featured online. Because of the murals, pop-up shops and famous flower market, this often means a quick dash to the shop for milk is hampered by tourists’ impromptu photoshoots, thanks to the endless opportunities for stylised social media posts. A day spent in Shoreditch, a place where everyone’s gaze is filtered through a lens, can begin to feel almost unreal. The spectacular regeneration of King’s Cross in London in recent years has gone further. Glittering glass buildings have shot up alongside plant-covered walls, colour-changing fountains and kitsch billboards. Every part of the area now features something that looks like a prop – from steps covered in fake grass where people eat lunch to a giant neon swing that cries out to be photographed. Then, at King’s Cross station, there is the fictional platform 9¾ that featured in the Harry Potter books, where fans queue to “crash” through the barrier. There is even a professional photographer to mark your moment. Kate Beavis, an expert in vintage interiors , thinks this kind of pop-up urbanism is becoming the norm. “The things you see on Instagram, such as pastel-coloured houses and walls, seem to be becoming more visible in cities and suburbs. Instagram selfie-wall opportunities are cropping up everywhere, even at events. This is now the norm, so it makes sense for architects to plan them in. What will happen is that all our communal areas will take on a new look and feel to match the Insta need, but, in reality, this is what a trend is: something popular that works into our spaces and life. In 10 years, it will be something else.” London is not alone when it comes to installations that pander to our need for visual entertainment on our streets. In statistics released by Instagram for 2017, New York was the most photographed city, followed by Moscow and London. But, perhaps more than anywhere else, Los Angeles has realised and harnessed the power of social media when it comes to design. A city nestled below the famous Hollywood sign, it should not be much of a surprise that the demands of the lens are important to residents. Alexandra Lange, the architecture critic for the interiors site Curbed, points out that it it is home to one of the first cafes to catch on to social media. “Intelligentsia’s Silver Lake Coffeebar (designed by Bestor Architecure) is one of the first examples – everyone took a “shoe-fie” on its tile floor.” A search on social media shows the venue is a riot of colour, where the deep blue tiles command the most attention; the cafe now has 20,000 tagged photos by customers on Instagram. Amelia Perrin, a writer and Instagrammer with more than 10,000 followers, is keen to visit places that will provide her with a good photo. Some restaurants, such as the Dirty Bones chain, offer a “kit” to help you get the best shot. “I’m definitely swayed to go somewhere by amazing looking food, but places that make amazing-looking food know it will be captured, and tend to make the interiors match the food in terms of ’gramability, which makes sense when social media is a sort of currency nowadays.” While Perrin says she wouldn’t go to places just for nice decor, she believes venues know that food and decor “definitely go hand in hand” in importance. “I’m more than happy to go to a crappy-looking cafe if I’m told the food is incredible, but who wouldn’t want to sit in beautiful surroundings instead?” Perrin admits that she is swayed by venues that look great in photos. “I wanted to go to a beautiful cafe for my birthday afternoon tea, so we went to Mad Dogs and Englishmen because I’d heard the interiors were stunning. They do rotating afternoon tea themes and I didn’t even bother to check the menu or what we would be eating because I was so excited about how the interiors looked, whereas usually I meticulously check menus. The food was amazing in the end, but I definitely chose to go there based on photos I’d seen of the decor.” Eye-grabbing restaurant design is nothing new: the neon-lit cafes of the US in the mid-20th-century often featured giant hot dogs or doughnuts on their roofs. But although both approaches are to attract customers, Lange says there are important differences. “The stylish roofs of the 1950s (often called Googie architecture) were specifically designed to attract the attention of drivers and be visible across lanes of traffic, serving simultaneously as billboards and working restaurants. While photos from an Instagram-bait restaurant do serve as digital billboards, I think there is a big difference when you bifurcate the experience and put a premium on attracting people who aren’t [in the area].” Stefani Ellenbecker, the executive director at lifestyle blog Wit & Delight, echoes the need to keep design functional and evergreen in the face of huge social media trends. “For us, it is more about what feels best or looks the most cohesive rather than always striving to stay ‘on trend’. Because we are increasingly viewing life through our phone lens, I think our lives, in a way, are becoming distorted. In our designs, we always try to encourage ‘functionality’ first and foremost.” It is not just venues and neighbourhoods that are adapting their spaces for the smartphone generation. Museums and public buildings now look to social media to raise visitor numbers. The Louvre is the most photographed museum on Instagram – unsurprising when critics have long bemoaned the daily scuffle to get a photo of the Mona Lisa. But the museum’s popularity has recently been boosted by Jay-Z and Beyonce’s decision to film the music video for Apeshit there. In response, organisers have introduced a 90-minute tour on which you can view the art featured in the video (and, naturally, take selfies to prove it). Other venues are hosting exhibitions that go bold on scale, colour and interactivity. Rain Room , an installation at the Barbican in 2012 that made you feel as if you were caught in a torrential downpour, has now travelled around the world and been documented by hordes of people. In Venice, sculptor Lorenzo Quinn’s giant pair of hands reaching out of the canal and stretching up a building became the photograph for tourists to get as they chugged by on a waterbus. It is unclear how many of them knew that the sculpture was intended to highlight climate change and the threat it poses to the island city. The art critic Waldemar Januszczak , in a review in the Times of the Frieze Sculpture exhibition (currently on show across Regent’s Park in London), praises the reinvention of public sculpture: “It used to be pious, repetitive, dull. Now it is inventive, varied, fun.” As you walk around the display, there are giant penguins, oversized Wendy houses and glass boxes alongside gleaming towers and even a gloomy un-inspirational Quote: : “Everything is lost.” But it is hard to ignore the number of people viewing the exhibits solely through their phones, using the art as a sidekick in a fun selfie, or perhaps just wanting others to know that they have imbibed some culture and not just spent time sunbathing. The best example of the power of the new breed of online photographer was perhaps the 2017 retrospective of the Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama in Los Angeles. Tickets sold out within an hour. While Kusama’s paintings and objects were on show, the real draw were her “mirror rooms”. One visitor, in their quest to take a great image, damaged an installation and a 30-second time limit in each space was swiftly implemented. The popularity of these spaces, packed with kaleidoscopic lights and seemingly endless mirrors that enabled the perfect selfie, ignited a debate about whether the way we have consumed art has changed. Are we simply using it now to bolster our own image? According to Culture Track , a 2017 report by a marketing firm that tracked more than 4,000 cultural consumers in the US, respondents said they would rather have fun than be educated by cultural offerings, and preferred experiencing new things to learning something new at exhibitions. The study also found that the majority of responders wanted digital experiences in all cultural activities. Perhaps those surveyed should consider the US Museum of Ice Cream . Far removed from the educational school trips of your childhood, here you can jump into a pool of sprinkles, gambol in a field of gummy bears and, most importantly, document the whole experience. The venture has become a digital phenomenon, with more than 160,000 tagged posts on Instagram. Photos show giant sweets, unicorns, happy people on pink swings and others posing in the mocked-up supermarket. Alexandra Lange points out that new attractions, such as this or the Colour Factory, another travelling exhibition, seem to have been designed almost entirely for the crowd with cameras. “What looks good in a photo is a very shallow, static backdrop with a bright colour or scintillating pattern. But that has very little to do with comfort or flow or dwell time, which require depth and choreography and, usually, places where the eye is more attracted to the people you are with than to the decor.” Attractions such as Dreamland in Margate have even created a whole day out designed for you to snap away – signs that used to say “no photographs” increasingly now plead with you to “please take photos!” and add their hashtag for good measure. Lange says the trend to document everything we see online has led some architects to play with scale and shape to grab attention. She points to the Bjarke Ingels Group (BIG) as the firm leading this trend – it has designed a hotel with a ski slope on its roof, buildings that appear to be dancing together and a theatre shaped like a bow. The same firm recently designed a building designed to look like giant colourful Lego blocks. “For architecture, [the trend] is for more outrageous shapes – BIG has played that game incredibly well, and you seen less well-known firms picking up on it.” What does this all mean for innovation in design? The more we rely on our smartphones, the more our ability to concentrate seems to dwindle, so the shops and spaces we visit are forced to work harder to offer us new ways to experience life through our gadgets. We shouldn’t be surprised if the places we frequent begin to blur into each other. As Lange says: “Designing from Instagram for Instagram seems like a snake eating its own tail. Everywhere looks like everywhere else and the eye grows tired of bananas or concrete tiles or mirror rooms.” So many of us seem to view our surroundings only as a backdrop to our personal portfolio. But this comes at a cost. In the myth, when Narcissus looked down into that wonderful pond, it wasn’t the beauty of nature he admired: all he saw was his own reflection. Now it seems we are all content to dismiss the beauty around us in favour of fiddling with filters.
from Christian David Biz https://ift.tt/2LhhdRQ via Article Source
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