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purrplegyuu · 3 days

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The best for both of us | Choi Beomgyu

Pairing: Writter!oc (named Seoli), animator!Beomgyu

Warnings: penetrative sex, oral (fem receiving), clitoris stimulation, unprotected sex, overstimulation, poor plot, gaslighting, non corresponded love, toxic Beomgyu, soft som Beomgyu, sub reader, lemmie know if im missing something.

Word count: 2,6k

Masterlist

“We’ve already read your book and it’s amazing. We also saw the animations, and we all thought they are perfect for our style. However…” he stops talking.

“However, it’s too disturbing for anyone under fifteen” says his boss. The woman, the owner of the video games company, who wears an expensive suit that screams everywhere she’s a squared closed box. I don’t really know how she manages a video games company. “Which wouldn’t concern us if we didn’t want the money, but we need this project to be suitable for all ages”

“I talked about this before, I have already rejected various contracts because I’m not interested in any project in which my art is changed” I say.

“Well, as I already said before, we need this to be suitable for all ages”

I stand up, taking my documents from the table, and when I’m about to leave, Beomgyu takes my arm, forcing me to sit down.

“Well, why don’t we listen to their proposal?” He asks, looking at me with killing eyes, which I don’t really understand since he’s always been on my side when I rejected last projects for the same reason.

“Yeah, sure. We just thought it would be better if Kira’s enemy isn’t her mother but her father. This way, we can avoid some future problems with angry mothers” one of the workers points out in the presentation, the part where all of the changes appear. I frown, disgusted. “We can also make her boyfriend the good guy instead of just another enemy—you know, for the love scenes we need to create a fandom” A good boyfriend? In real life? I cannot help laughing sarcastically at this, to which Beomgyu hits me with his elbow on my arm. “And she might also change a little bit—see, this is Kira before, and this might be her after” the picture on the presentation shows the draw Beomgyu made with my instructions. I told him to use only black ink, and draw it very messy. I remember the day we decided that this art style was just perfect for my book. When I created Kira I was thinking of the worst part of the world, I even got inspired by my own life. She’s too thin because she had very poor eating habits, she’s tall, her hair is messy and greasy and the clothes she wears are made for someone bigger. Which makes a big contrast with the whole new character they made—this Kira is short, and has a big pair of round boobs, a tiny waist and big thighs; her hair is pretty and… she just seems like another video game girl character.

“We will skip her eating disorder, and she will not die at the end. There’s obviously more changes to do, but those are the most important ones”

Everyone looks at me while I try to do as much as I can in order to not explode there and then. I feel just so offended that I cannot even speak. Even if I open my mouth, nothing comes out.

I stand up, take my papers and get out of the office, not even worrying if Beomgyu tries to hold me once again.

After an hour or two of getting back home, I finally start to calm down. That’s exactly when Beomgyu enters home too.

“Fuck, you could have waited for me, you know?” He wasn’t mad, that’s just his usual behavior.

“Seoli, we need to talk” I do not turn around to face him, keeping up on reading the instructions of the new bedroom lamp I just bought. “Seoli” he takes my hand, forcing me to turn around. “Why do you keep rejecting any minor change in your books?”

I turn my eyes. “You should know that, Gyu. My books are all too personal. If I write something is because I feel it, and I don’t like it to be changed”

“Yeah, I understand that, but you cannot keep rejecting every opportunity you have” he sighs. “See, babe, I think this is the best company you’ve been contacted by, and if you want to succeed, you should sign with them”

I frown. “Why do you like this company that much? I’ve rejected thousands of companies before, and you always supported me”

“I’m just looking for the best for both of us. We’re twenty now, but soon, we’re gonna be thirty, and forty, and fifty; we need to make money for the future… this isn’t a big company—small enough for you to be important and ask for almost everything you want, but also big enough to succeed monetarily and as an artist. This is just what we need”

“I don’t care about the money, everything I care about is being loyal to myself. I won’t sell myself and my art to some shitty company. The things they said to me in that reunion were almost insulting! How the fuck am I supposed to be fine while seeing one of my deepest books being thrown away this bad and be happy with it because I MIGHT get two hundred dollars a month from now on?! Specially in this one book!… this is almost my own autobiography…” the last words were almost audible, very low in contrast with the rest of my screams. It hurts my heart as I said it.

I see some kind of compassion in my colleague’s eyes. We never talked too deeply about it, but I did tell him that most of my books have some kind of self insert somewhere, but never as important as this one.

He takes my body in his hands, hugging me so comfortably as one only time before—when I confessed to him, and he said sorry because he couldn’t correspond to me.

He moves apart without letting me go, and unexpectedly, takes the back of my neck and kisses me. He only touches my lips with his once, moving away just a little, and then kisses me deeper when I take the back of his neck also with my right hand and his shoulder with my left hand.

He’s gentle at first, only leaving some close mouthed kisses on my lips, until he notices I’m more eager, and then, he devours my mouth whole like it's the last thing he’s gonna do on earth.

His hands travel all over my body as he starts kissing the side of my neck, sucking on my skin, biting and then licking, to which I cannot do anything but hum in pleasure—he touches my back, caresses my waist and pushes the hem of my gray shirt up.

I squeeze his shoulder when he take off my shirt and starts kissing my clavicles, and scream of pleasure as he bites the bone.

While devouring my torax, he manages to take off my black bralette, and kisses all of the skin of my small breasts, making me wonder if he actually likes the curvy girls he shows me of it it’s always been nothing but a façade in order to no look like a pervert.

He takes my hand from the back of his neck, moving away from me, unbuttoning my low-rise jeans and lowering my panties, then guiding me to sit on the couch. I oblige, and soon he’s kissing my body again, my abdomen, my pelvis, my thighs—which he takes and puts them over his shoulders before looking at me, right in the eyes as if looking for consent, but keeps going without a second of thought.

I scream when I feel his muscle exploring all of my cunt without a warning.

“Gyu-“ I moan while tapping his back with the tip of my foot.

He notices I got more sensitive everytime he stimulates my clitoris with his tongue, so he decides to do precisely this while one of his fingers caresses my entrance. A second finger enters, and he starts scissoring as if measuring if something will be able to come in.

My hand found its way on Beomgyu’s fluffy hair, which I take strongly trying to move it apart but also trying to keep it as close as I can.

Once he positions himself on the perfect way to have me screaming his name once and again and again, he starts doing it nonstop, faster, and holding my body by my pelvic area so I don’t move too much. My whole body trembles from pleasure, and I feel the knot on my lower abdomen tightening so much I feel it’s about to break.

And within thirty seconds morr, my whole body spasms under his, while I scream nonesenses and cry his name. He keeps on licking my whole cunt, cleaning me from my orgasm, making me cry at the oversensitivity. I try to push his face away, however, my strength after an orgasm is always null.

He goes back to the same speed as earlier, to which I scream: “Too much, gyu!”, but he doesn’t stop. Instead, his pace becomes even faster, making my head spin as I unexpectedly orgasm once again, faster than the first time.

He caresses my pelvic bones, licking my juices from his face. He stands up and kisses my lips once again, letting me taste my own cum.

I hear his right hand unbuttoning his jeans while his left hand helps him hover over me. I hear his clothes fall to the ground, and then, his tip touches my left thigh. I move away from the kiss for a second, moaning as I mentally prepare myself for having sex after one and a half large years of not being active.

“I know it’s always been hard to go through changes, babe,” he mutters in between kisses. “but everything I’m doing is looking for the best for you. You’re really successful with your books, but you don’t know if it will ever change as you grow up” the contrast between his lovely words and his condescending voice tone, and his hand lifting one of my legs up to my ribs making me go crazy. “Besides, you can ask for any change you want, and as long as it doesn’t make the game too disturbing for kids under twelve years old, they will accept it” the tip of his cock touches my clitoris at first, and then, he explores my whole cunt, looking too casual in contrast with my high expression. “Seoli, I will always be by your side” and suddenly, that option didn’t seem like trash anymore.

With that, he puts the head of his cock inside my entrance, to which I scream squeezing his shoulder. He goes back to kiss my clavicles while going on until he bottoms out. Feeling his tip against my spongy point, the deepest part of my cunt, makes me forget about all of the doubts I have, and I already know that the second I wake up tomorrow, I will be calling the company and ask for them to meet again.

He doesn’t give me time to get used to his big size, and starts moving immediately after he bottoms out, at a savage pace that makes my head spin. The way he’s hitting my cervix strongly over and over again has me cumming after less than two or three minutes. He doesn’t stop there though, and doesn’t even slow down. The second orgasm comes after maybe five minutes more, much more intense and piercing. My legs tremble, and he chuckles while taking my other leg and lifting it up to my chest also, making his cock go even deeper.

He holds both my legs up with one hand while the other stimulates my clitoris in circular motion, nonstoping, without giving me time to recover.

I cum once again, and my whole body feels so tense I feel like I'm about to break.

“Gyu-yu, I can’t anymore” I cry, the tears spilling from the corner of my eyes as I take his shoulders, trying to move his body away from mine. “please”

“I know, sweet, but you’re gonna help me cum too, right? You’re not a selfish princess, right?” His face is not close to mine now, and my legs find their way on his shoulders while he prepares himself for fucking my cunt faster and stronger than before.

I squeeze the silk of the couch, while my tears run down my face and all over the couch, and I scream his name over and over. His pace becoming even more animalistic as I feel his cock twitch inside of my vagina, the heat inside of me making me feel like I’m about to be torn there and then. The feeling is so unbearable, but also addictive. At this point, I don’t even understand myself.

He cums inside of me with a guttural growl, and keeps fucking his cum in for some seconds before using his hand to try to put his cum in when it tries to escape. I cum on his fingers one last time, and he leaves a kiss on my forehead.

(…)

I fix my lanyard with my work ID on my neck, holding my drawing tablet and the handmade sketches I’ve made.

“Oh, see! There’s coffee over there!” Beomgyu says amazed.

“Every company has coffee for workers, Gyu”

He goes to get a cup while I look for the office. The boss asked me to meet her once I accepted working with her. I signed the contract a week ago after making her accept the clause of letting my opinion be the most important one over there.

“Oh, Seoli!” That voice… it’s just impossible to forget it. “Oh my god, I’m so excited to see you again! Ever since high school I knew you were gonna succeed, you’re so talented!”

We went to high school together, and after we graduated, we also went to the same college. She stuck to me since then, but I never liked her a lot. She wasn’t a bad person, I just didn’t match her energy. However, I did everything I could in order to separate her from me in college, right after I realized Beomgyu liked her. Beomgyu and I met at college—the three of us decided to study an art major—, and it took us only one semester to start living together as roommates, and two more months to start working together on the animation of my books. We left college so we could put all of our time on making money with the animations, and luckily, that was enough for Beomgyu to forget her. At least that was what I thought.

“Dami? Do you work here?” I ask.

“Kind of. My mother is the owner of this company, and she likes me to participate on all of the projects. We’re gonna be a team! Just like in college!” She says with a big smile. “Where’s Beomgyu, by the way?”

Everything makes sense suddenly, why did he get so excited when I received the invitation to this company, and why was he so eager for me to come, and why did he want me to stay here.

I turn around slowly, and as soon as I find him with a scared expression, I feel my eyes ache.

He fucked me so he could get a chance with the one girl he likes.

How dumb.

#purrplegyuu #beomgyu smut #txt smut #beomgyu overstimulation #choi beomgyu smut #tomorrow by together | purrplegyuu #beomgyu soft dom #toxic beomgyu #tw: gaslighting #kpop smut #the best for both of us | beomgyu

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mtchee · 2 days

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Inconspicuous Observations - [Albedo Kreideprinz] GN

blurb:

You thought your little crush on Albedo was a secret only you would know. However, you suspect that might not be the case when the very subject of your affections seems to know more than he lets on...

cw: not edited, second-person-pov, reject shop paimon, albedo is kind of a little shit??, sucrose bless her heart, i made [name] competent are u proud, 16+ suggestiveness, no smut but relatively implied

| masterlist | genshin impact collection |

[2.4k]

"Huh," You hum to yourself, "he's actually here for once..."

You eye down a particular blond alchemist as he chats to Timaeus over the alchemy crafting table.

You blink, physically spinning around a couple times, "Where's Sucrose?"

"Think she might still be up in Dragonspine?" Your sunset coloured companion, Kiko, provides some food for thought.

"Mm, no. I don't think so," You avert your eyes from Albedo and continue your way towards Good Hunter with a create of fresh produce, "Sucrose can't handle much cold, and she gets too scared if she's by herself."

"Eh? But she's always couped up in her lab anyway..."

"Yeah, but Dragonspine's a whole other kind of isolation."

"I guess so." Kiko hums, floating beside you idly.

The two of you approach Sara at the counter, where the woman gives you a bright smile.

"Ah! Yes, thanks so much! Just leave those by the kitchenette, I'll handle them from here," Sara bows her head thankfully before handing you a bag of rewards, "what would we do without you?"

"You'd manage perfectly fine, I'm sure," You grin sheepishly, "thanks, Sara! I'll take you up on that lunch offer tomorrow if that's okay with you..?"

"Sure thing," In compensation for one of her most recent requests, the owner of Good Hunter promised a hearty meal without cost, "see you tomorrow!"

"Bye bye!" Kiko waves dutifully, you giving out one last smile before heading off.

As they you the plaza, your eyes draw over the chief alchemist, drinking in his usually rare appearance in Mondstadt.

"Psst," Kiko mutters loudly, "you're staring again..."

"Shit--" You snap your gaze away and book it from the plaza, ignorant of the way Timaeus and Albedo's attention darts to you momentarily—the latter with a light chuckle.

"—I was not."

"Don't start." Kiko deadpans, "I don't mean to make this worse for you—"

"Then don't—"

"—But I'm pretty sure he was staring back."

"Shut." You glare at your floaty friend, "you are gonna get me caught out."

You huff, crossing your arms as you head towards the Favonious library.

"And I can't have that."

"C-Caught..?"

"Oh!" You reel back, almost bumping into your mint haired friend.

Sucrose flinches back slightly, having expected an impact, but simply gives a small smile as she fixes her glasses back in place.

"Sucrose, hey!"

"Hi," She waves meekly, a couple of books clutched to her chest, "hav-have you seen Mister Albedo anywhere...? I-I'm suppose to be watching my experiment at home but he needed these books at noon..."

"Mm, sure. I saw him in the plaza before, with Timaeus. Do you need any help? How come you guys aren't in Dragonspine?"

"Well, we've recently had a breakthrough in one of our elemental analyses and had to report it back to Acting Grand Master Jean," Sucrose shuffles her feet, not necessarily in discomfort, but mainly out of habit, "s-so we decided to break in Mondstadt for a while. Um... I, uh, I heard that Mister Albedo has found some other source of interest recently! And... And he's been insistent on pursuing it for a while now..."

"Really?" You tilt your head curiously, "huh, interesting... well, good for him! Fill me in on the details of your experiment later, yeah? I won't hold you up anymore."

You don't have the biggest interest in alchemy, though understanding certain aspects of the science came naturally to you--plus, it's something Sucrose is passionate about.

You didn't mind sitting through one of her long tangents, seeing as it made her happy she has a friend willing to listen.

"Oh, alright. S-Sure! Thanks, [name]!" Sucrose flushes, smiling at you before you off, "may the wind lead..!"

"Mister Albedo!" You blurt out in surprise once you reach your home in Springvale.

It's been a few days since you and your mushroom fairy companion ran into Sucrose and learnt about their little break--but it was odd to see the chief alchemist so far outside of Mondstadt's walls, unless he was in Dragonspine.

Said male turns around with a pleasant hum of surprise, though his expression didn't portray such.

As a matter of fact, he looked as though he had been expecting you.

"Oh, [name]," He smiles gently, "pleasure to see you again. I was just looking for you, acutally."

Ah, that makes sense then.

"Really now?" You return his greeting with a slightly stressed smile, reaching up to rub the back of your neck.

Albedo hums affirmatively, "Indeed."

There's a hint of smugness hidden within his expression, shown through the subtle inward bend of his brows and his low smile, "I missed you at the plaza the other day, after I concluded my conversation with Timaeus, if you recall?"

"Oh, right..." You swallow uncomfortably at having been caught out, "y-yeah. Sorry, I didn't want to bug you."

"It would be no trouble at all, really," Albedo reassures, "I've recently concluded some reports and have returned to Mondstadt for a while to recouporate. Like I said, I was looking for you anyhow."

"Ah, I heard about that from Sucrose," You brighten before shrinking back in on yourself, "is... there something I can do for you?"

"Mm," Albedo nods, clasping his hands in front of him as he takes a step closer.

"I was wanting to invite you to join me for an unforseen amount of time within the next few days. Nothing major, don't worry. There's just... something I've been meaning to look into, and the company would be muchly appreciated."

Maintaining eye contact with the jittery individual in front of him, he makes sure to keep your focus on his face while he reaches out to grasp one of your hands between his.

He caresses your knuckles gently, a cheeky glint appearing in his eyes at his accomplishment.

"Me? Oh, uh... sure!" You beam, feeling your neck grow warm.

You remain oblivious to his proximity and his gentle hold on your hand for the time being.

"Is there anything you'd need me to... do..?" You swallow nervously, eyes widening a fraction at the feeling of his fingers tracing the line of your wrist.

You feel your mouth go dry, but play it off with another stressed smile.

Albedo gives you an uncharictaristically sweet, closed eyed grin.

"Nothing at all, dearest. You being there will be more than enough."

--Aaaand your heart drops to your stomach. He knows.

He knows something.

Your eyes flutter as a wave of panic rushes through you, though you force yourself to keep still. Your body tenses ever so slightly, and your surging thoughts leave your ears deaf to the light chuckle from Albedo's lips.

As he opens his eyes and gives you another, though much softer, smile, you can't help but feel as if he can peer into your mind; making you feel tingly and vulnerable for no more than a split second before you console yourself with rationality.

And so that's what you do for the next three days.

Frantically compose yourself from the panic Albedo induces with his unusually long stares, flustering words, and oddly sweet actions.

In his job as an alchemist, you understand that most of Albedo's habits and tidbit traits have stemmed from his work—hence his pensive stare and blunt tone.

But (from what you can recall) the past three days have been extremely unwarranted.

On the first day, after waving bye to Kiko who promised to look after the house, Albedo took you to the Stormbearer Mountains to sample some valberries.

You were happy to oblige, weaving a basket with your recently aquired dendro vision before skipping back and forth between valberry bushes to collect the fruit.

Albedo didn't contribute to much, which was fine--instead, he often stood by and watched you. At one point he stopped you to ask if you could grow a valberry plant of your own so he could sample the potential difference between a natural borne fruit, and one born through a vision.

You were hesitant at first, unsure if you had the capability to create such produce so quickly due to your inexperience.

However, after some encouragement from Albedo, you managed to do so—jumping up and celebrating happily whilst the blond smiled fondly.

On the second day, you went to explore the windwheel asters by the border of Stormterror's lair.

You were a bit tense the entire time because of the unknown territory.

Albedo on the other hand, was rather confident; he offered you an arm and, with the promise to protect you, led you just below the cliffs of the windy ruins.

You collected a few of the orange flowers, and the chief alchemist was rather affectionate with his actions. Aware of his friend's unease, he often stuck close to you, even resting an arm around your waist and holding your hand as he led you around.

The third day really set it off for you.

The time, you ventured to the point of Starsnatch Cliff to collect cecelias. Albedo hadn't disclosed the purpose for the collection of this particular flora, but you didn't really mind anyway.

Rather than exploring during the day, as you had done prior, you went during late noon which later transformed into the darkened evening.

Starsnatch cliff was rather peaceful; the night warm and accompanied by a lovely breeze. You had been humming to yourself quietly whilst collection cecelias, Albedo watching dutifully on standby.

You didn't make as much conversation this time—but when you did it constantly ended with you in a silently panicking mess.

"Mister Albedo, are you sure you want to do this so late? It's already quite dark..."

"Not to worry, [name]. You are the only light I need."

"Oh wow, the stars are so pretty tonight."

"Mm, I suppose they are indeed. Although, they certainly dull in comparison to the glisten in your eyes."

"Uhm... Mister Albedo? I've gathered these ones so far..."

"Oh? A bouquet? For Me?"

"W-Wha—? I—What are you on about? You asked me to collect these..!"

Which leads you to now.

Couped up in Albedo's study by the Favonious headquarters, with you pointing an accusing finger at the bemused alchemist.

Your resolve wavers, and as your eyes flutter, you're quick to drop your defensive stance. You'd met with Albedo in his office after he'd called for you the following day, the man having recently just disclosed the purpose behind your outings.

You take in a sharp breath before exhaling.

"...What do you mean you've been... examining me..?"

Albedo tilts his head with wide doe eyes as though the answer is obvious. He gives a small smile.

"It's as I have stated, I've been observing you. I've taken meticulous notes on your usual behavoural patterns and quirks—unwritten, I should mention," He says like that clears things up, "I've wanted to keep this information to myself."

He continues to watch you and your reaction to his words. His eyes grow half-lidded at the sight of your jaw locking in place--not from anger, but out of embarrassment.

He grins softly at the sight of you raising your shoulders defensively, attempting to make yourself smaller in hopes of shrinking away.

"Okay, well," You dart your eyes off to the side, "why?"

The blond's grin is no longer as soft, though is by no means malicious, "I believe you already know why."

Your stomach drops, and you feel humiliation wash over you.

Just your fucking luck.

He's observant.

Incredibly so--his golden oval eyes are often the cause of your nerves, his hard stare making you feel as though he can see right through you.

Albedo's intelligence is undoubtably terrifying.

While it's evidently helpful in terms of evolution and alchemy, it does no good in keeping your secrets, well, secret.

You have a hard time keeping your mouth shut as it is, and Albedo's piercing stare only makes it harder.

As if sensing your panic, the chief alchemist closes his eyes momentarily with a gentle hum before standing up from behind his desk.

He moves around it, making his way in front of the—mildly petrified—individual.

He opens his eyes again, looking at you with a knowing gaze that makes your knees weak. You open your mouth to speak, bundling up your courage before pathetically tripping on your tongue when the blond simply quirks up a brow in question.

Albedo huffs out a quiet laugh. He leans forwards slowly, stopping only inches from your face.

He hums at your panicked expression--the need to both run but the dying will to stay tears you up inside.

He smiles softly, "...May I?"

You blink.

And then nod.

Albedo tilts his head teasingly at your lack of words, and he reiterates himself, "Is this okay?"

He leans closer once more.

Your eyes flutter in disbelief before you swallow and reply.

"Archons, yes."

He kisses you with a gentle hum, savouring the feeling of your lips against his.

You, testing the waters, hesitantly attempt to deepen the kiss. A relieved sigh escapes your nose when Albedo doesn't fuss and simply follows your lead.

You flinch at the feeling of his hands coming to grip your waist, squeaking when he squeezes you affectionately. You wrap your own arms around his shoulders, hands perched behind his neck.

With your tongue swiping against his lips, you become pleasantly surprised when he opens his mouth to invite you in, only to suckle on your tongue with a quiet moan. You feel yourself flush in embarrassment, and the urge to hide away returns as you try to slink away.

Albedo doesn't let you get very far.

He parts the kiss with slightly swollen lips, taking a moment to breath before diving back in for more, pressing you against the door for leverage.

One of your legs subconsciously rise in an attempt to curl in on yourself—and so he grabs it, wrapping it around his hip and locking you in place.

Your breath hitches in your throat, forcing out a high pitched groan. Your given little to no time to dwell on the embarassing noise before the man attacks your neck in a series of kisses and licks.

As his hands trail all over your body, he begins to feel you tremble and arch for his touch.

With your hands reaching into his hair, he moves his mouth further down your body, soaking in every whimper and moan and cry that escapes it.

He bites back a knowing smile, a red blush coating the apple of his pale cheeks.

It seems he had kept you both waiting for a little too long for this.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #gi x reader #x reader #character x reader #albedo x reader #albedo kreideprinz x reader #mtchee's library #mtchee's tea & story house #spicy content

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tranakin-skywalker · 1 year

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Padme sketch

#padme amidala #Star Wars art #myart #I really need to get in the habit of drawing more #burnout is a bitch

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libelelle · 1 year

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not wednesday anymore

#jfc i need to practice more. anyways gonna go draw a new pfp #sonic #sth #sonic the hedgehog #tails the fox #miles tails prower #sonic artventure #digital art #this is really just practice i need to get in the habit of rendering things again #also BACKGROUNDS #this is the first time in a WHILE that i even bothered with one

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galoogamelady · 9 months

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Hi!! I love your work!

Do you have any tips on how to stylize hands?

Thank you <3 I hope you’re feeling better!

I don't have a moodboard of hands I really like but I think it's a good idea to study what details you enjoy on your favorite styles. For example: I really like how in MHA they often don't draw the nailbeds, just the part of the nail where it starts separating from skin. I think it's really tasteful and simple, yet realistic, so sometimes I do this too:

My other example would be to pay attention to details and lack of details. Sometimes this can add to the funny factor too, like when a simplistic cartoony creature has an extremely realistic looking hand. But anyway here's my quick brainfart on the matter:

If you're gonna draw long nails, you better watch some nail videos to learn the ideal shape and weight etc. of them. It's so easy to make them look like dog claws or nasty old crone hands! Sorry, this turned into my personal nail drawing preference lol

I don't have any very smart advice on drawing stylized hands beyond "use real life / 3D reference still" and "practice until it looks ok" :') Pay attention to which way the individual shapes bend. If you don't study real hands and only copy other artists' hands, you might learn a few wrong things (but I guess this applies to most real life studies).

Oh and I'm feeling better now, thank you! ^^

#I have some bad habits like I really need to pay attention when I draw knuckles at some angles #because they get way more rounded than you'd think #I have a long way to go until I can draw hands in a way that I'm 100% happy #personal #art advice #hands

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isjasz · 1 year

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The brainrot continues (Blame @vesperionnox and @cherrysherin we are dragging the whole server down with this au)

Part 1

#desert duo #LoSBotwAU #grian #goodtimeswithscar #pearlescentmoon #solidaritygaming #desert duo au #totk spoilers #if you squint #my art #isdoodles #i thought i got over this -> gets dragged back into this au immediately upon one mention #i really should have a tag for this au but i have no idea LMAO IT HAS PPL FROM HC EMPIRES AND LIFE SERIES HOW ARE U SUPPOSED TO NAME IT #the struggle has been resolved: jimmy is now a rito because canary dying first is just too good #scheduled so i dont procrastinate on posting this again #tumblr only bc bless tumblr for accepting more than 4 images <3 i have no idea how to post these on twt so nope LOL #(edit: nvm i caved im still gonna post some)#goddamn i need to get in the habit of posting more or THEY ALL PILE UP #OFOJASIOEJEKALJKSJ IM SO NORMAL OVER THIS AUUUUU #tho it has been slowing turning from desertduo angst into we must draw everyone in this au and put grian in links every outfit #still id call that a win #and btw feel free to send me any ask about this au ill be happy to answer HASJAHHAS #insanity in a nutshell: whatever this is #yeah idk what the dark link one means either idk enough about his lore to make sense of it HELPDDP #THE CRISIS HAS BEEN RESOLVED IT HAS A TAG NOW CHECK IT OUT HEHEHEHRH #yep its just the legend of scar we are geniuses LMAOAOAO

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secondchoice-ragdoll · 11 days

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#T's “what did u call me? do u think whatever that is is hot? okay then good”#i love the tour pic above K!#and i love how they r still plucked abt not being in Dune2 #K the avid winker...#its so cute how T is featured on this album of K's too😭😭😭#T wants to be left alone (on the phone) on her bday and K wants attention... well... ((once again relating to K))#T looked at Ks belly in a suprisingly like? soft way? idk i might have hallucinated that but who knows.#fuck whoever didnt visit K when she would have wanted them to.#its sweet how T visited her! (srsly cant u just communicate who wants what in this situation so its no suprise? ik its hard for them but😭)#T describing Ks party attending habits!!! they know each other soooo well🤭#aaagh how they have to act like they cant easily spend 2 hrs together having fun when they literally cant wipe the smiles off of their faces #(lesbians..... lovesick idiots.......)#oh they r always facetiming! so adorable :(#T was so excited that they r linked! like girl u do not need more confirmation for that research do u?😭#K watching the pod...... my heart......#why dont they just sit closer if they will reach across a whole fucking room to touch eachother?? like it sounds easier for me but u do u!#i really get a kick out of K mentioning TRHPS anytime she does it bc ik it was such a big thing in Ts life and ugh😭#constantly praising each other😭😭😭😭😭 what if i start sobbing huh #well maybe T is trying to get K to learn how to flirt so that she can practice on her? just an idea?😁#K putting her leg up on T?????? hi what? jist sit in the other's lap u creatures... its okay we can all look away for a sec if u need it...#their art! i fucking love it! both of it! its art at its finest🛐 and id kill to see a collection of their drawings bc cmon they r amazing!#its cute how they r talking abt smth and then they go “oh wait we were there together!”#its almost as if they actually spend time hanging out😱 (dont let the police know!!4!4)#“if we were on DR now-” okay but why r u still dreaming of that miss T?🤭🤭🤭 (who could blame her)#them watching the movies the other one recommends is the closest we can get to them watching an actual thing together (outside of NF)#also im so happy T spent time w K on her bday :(((#trixie mattel #katya zamo #tbatb #the brians

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rumiraclemi · 2 years

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so stoked that jay with wings is finally real

#jrwi #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #really need to get into the habit of drawing more #also. the wings were described as green right. bc thats her magic color. right?#i did all this and didnt even think of going back to the ep to check #if they're not then. rip me i guess

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gamebunny-advance · 2 years

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GAB: Neon J. Edition

I've been kinda busy with some IRL stuff lately, so I haven't found much time to draw. In the meantime, I've started using a habit tracker app to try and motivate me to make some more positive changes in my life. Today, I finally decided to add, "draw for at least 1 hour a day" to my dailies list, so hopefully I'll have at least one thing to post a day for a little while, even if it's kinda shitty.

Anyways, as you can probably infer, this is what I did today.

Kinda~

I actually did the sketch for Neon GAB a few weeks ago to go with the Kun3h0 1010s I did, but since I stopped drawing again, I got really rusty (again), and this was one of the simplest sketches I had to try and get back in the groove.

Normally I would post a doodle dump of all the bad sketches I've done since the 1010 oddloop animation, but instead I'm gonna try to use those for my drawing hour for the next few days, so you'll get them eventually, just as a drip feed (and since I'm working on them, they should actually be something worth looking at for 5 seconds).

#gbunny draws #nsr #1010 #neon j #OCs #GAB #of course I can draw for *more* than an hour #i just need to draw for *at least* an hour #maybe then I'll actually see some improvements~#ah the app i'm using is called 'habitica'#i've apparently had an account on it since back when it was called 'habitRPG' but i never used it #so far it's been going pretty good!#i've got a few better habits now #i always thought i was the sort to be more intrinsically motivated versus extrinsically motivated #but having a little RPG dude that I get to level up and collecting loot is my main motivator to do anything right now #plus it's free and not inundated with ads like similar apps so i can even use it on mobile without getting hopelessly annoyed with it #the only thing is that it relies heavily on self-discipline #so if you can't hold yourself accountable to complete your tasks and/or be honest when you miss tasks #it's not gonna do much for you #not sponsored or anything but i really do like this app and it's been working pretty well for me~#as someone who is very forgetful and easily distracted #my tasks are all magical girl themed~#oh! maybe that should be one of my drawing hours: making custom icons for my tasks~

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gemharvest · 1 year

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Getting frustrated with drawing humans again uuuuuuuuuggghh can we not please please PLEASE.

#ventings #dumped all my time into practicing animals and anthros so now when i cant draw humans as easily it makes me want to drop my face onto-#-cement and run it up and down like its a cheese grater. i knooowww i shouldnt compare my art to others' but i have a bad habit of going #`why cant i make it look this good` and its soooo demotivating. im just kinda frustrated in general today tho so maybe i should ignore it #knowing i need to do studies from photos of real people and practice fundamentals vs. needing to make art to unwind/ get out-#-hyperfixation thoughts and etc and not having enough time to do both bites and kills and sobs and wails #my doodles where i havent really cared about how well structured everything is have been freeing but i wanna make more serious-#-drawings and its just. its so fucking frustrating when i go to do it and it just feels so amateur still even tho ive been working at this-#-art thing seriously for years #tryyying not to fall back into drawing everything catified again `cuz its easier` but man is the comfort of the familiar alluring

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hakaiart · 1 year

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i looked through my art folders today and i have some (read: like 5) drawings from last year that i never posted bc they were too sketchy or not even coloured but i still like them and uni means i wont be able to post anything new for a while so hey. i may as well queue them

#i really need to get into the habit of posting my more doodle-y stuff too #theyre mostly sekai which surprised me bc i have been doodling mgram and m/goen nonstop lately #not art #even the art i posted just now is from a long while back #like '8 months ago' long while back #i just felt like cleaning it up #so. </3 yeah #finally. sekai art after (checks) ...9 MONTHS?#i still like sekai!! i play every day!!! i just dont post most of what i draw

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radrezi · 2 years

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tagged by @partyinthemysterymachine >:-D

the first 7 songs on my spotify repeat which i only now found out was a thing so thats. embarrassing

4/7 are sh songs yeah. yeah i know i was expecting it to be more actually also outing myself as disgustingly indie

and bro you tagged everyone and i dont think (i hope) people dont follow me on my main so uhhhhhhh

@sundybundy you can do it if you want :-) and anyone else i guess hehe

#mum never holds me dad loves a stranger moooore than meeeee #actually always on my mind from sm should be on here too but i think its not because i downloaded it and put it into spotify #nothing like smoking while listening to that song actually #i dont check notifications on my main sorry.... which is a bad habit because i get commissions here. uh. dm me if you need me babe #although really whos following this blog for art any more. you will get one 612 drawing and then i think im done #stopped rbing my sh art to here because i forgot and now theres quite the backlog that i dont want to think about so #maybe ill do it again. but eh

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dont-offend-the-bees · 2 months

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I'm SO TIRED the FUCK

#it's that kind of #I'd feel better if i did some real actual physical activity tired #but I'm too tired to get started #i need to start moving around more though #I'm really starting to drift from my writing/drawing/crafting/gaming bc i have to sit down all the time #and keeps my hands in similar positions and my muscles/bones are like nooooo #but i also can't nosedive straight into fuckin fulltime athletics #it's hard to get started and hard to keep the habit #but i felt p good yesterday when i was out and about and being a bit social #and now it's a plan-less lazy sunday and everytbing hurts and I'm SO fucking tired and i can't start anything #and I'm still a bit shaky #idk i really wish atm that i knew which of my ailments are bc of my general unfitness and which are genuinely things i should get checked #anyway who wants to come drag me out to physical activities so i have no choice but to go #mr. bees speaks

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inkskinned · 11 months

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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

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dizzykss · 9 months

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distracting dreams. longer name. könig notices you avoiding him. and it doesn’t take long for him to figure out that it’s all because of a little dream you had. marks. fingering. pussy play. semi-public. slight age gap

you couldn’t meet könig’s gaze for the entire day. the one time you did get a glimpse of him, his arm reaching over to grab a gun or a vest or something that you weren’t really paying attention to, your mind started whirring. your little dream had come back to, despite your inner protest, the memory of könig’s hands sliding down between your thighs made your stomach clench. heat making your cheeks flushed, along with your nose.

könig had noticed this change in your expression, as he eyes you. this only seemed to make your mind run laps, remembering the way his thick fingers jammed into you, while his heavy bulge kept nudging against your widened legs. fuck. in that moment you spared him a small smile and quickly turned to take business elsewhere.

as the day got later, your pussy craved for something that you knew you’d never get. i mean how pathetic can you get? honestly. but what you hadn’t realized was how attentive könig was to you. having been your mentor and supervisor he had grown a keen eye to your habits. you had never minded making eye contact before, or at least as much. but now you actively avoided it. and when könig made the mistake of letting his gaze drop he saw the way your thighs clenched tightly together.

he wasn’t a stupid man, he knew what that meant. and though the clear age gap and status provided you both with a clear ‘forbidden zone’, könig couldn’t help but keep looking. you were a pretty girl. könig also wasn’t blind. he knew the random stares you got, the passing compliments. he hadn’t thought much of it, but as he soon became aware of your dire need to avoid him he grew curious.

“i need to speak to you.” könig says to you in his normal professional manner that has you thinking you’re in the clear. but the moment you two end up alone he draws in close, far too easily lifting you onto the nearby table. your eyes expand as his large hands holds your thighs apart, and around his hips. “why are you avoiding me?” his question is simple. but you’re too awestruck to come up with a lie as you just gulp.

he’s testing a theory. your avoidance of eye contact, flushed cheeks, and clenched thighs all lead to something that is making könig second guess himself in thinking his plan is all for research purposes. did he want you like this? did he like the fact that you looked so flustered?

“alright, answer me this then. what did you dream about the other night?” his straight to the point question is nothing like the könig you knew. in fact this whole ‘confrontation’ is anything but. he doesn’t waste his time conversing in deep detail, or asking any questions that lead to said conversations. his question is followed by your further silence. what were you supposed to say? ‘yeah, i dreamt of you fucking me until i could barely breathe’.

“it’s a simple question.” he speaks again, and this time you can feel your body come to life. but not in the way of action in more of a reaction to his hands now stroking your thighs. his hands can practically encompass them. that only seems to make your inability to speak more prominent. “if you aren’t going to say anything, i’m going to start assuming.”

yeah, maybe his ‘plan’ is turning into something more. he wanted to know what was bothering you. that if he touched you this close would you react with disgust or as you are now? but now his mind seems to wander. if he’s right about you fantasizing about him, and if you won’t talk, there’s only one way to understand more.

you can’t comprehend a thing as his hand slips down between your thighs and begins to rub right against your covered pussy. your mouth salivates as your hands grip on the material of his shirt. könig watches you closely as your gaze darts down in surprise, your lips parting. his fingers drag against your cunt as your hips instinctively shudder. yeah…he knows.

his other hand then moves over to the button and zip of your pants, skillfully unbuttoning and unzipping until his hand can completely slide past your panties and graze right over your weeping pussy. a small gasp leaves you as your hips move a fraction, your head now practically rested on his chest as he stands. his calloused fingers do wonders to your clit and more choked sounds leave you.

you’re embarrassed. but at this point nothing much is going on in your mind besides the repeat of ‘könig is touching me’ ‘könig is touching me’. he doesn’t say a word as he then slips two fingers into your hole, the stretch making a louder mewl leave you. könig’s free hand presses against your mouth to quieten you, as he begins to fuck you with his fingers, your clothes muffling the wet drag of your seeping pussy.

his hips keep your thighs from shaking too much as you press against them for support, your forehead against his chest drawing you closer to him. “do not make a sound.” he whispers to you, as he removes his hold on your mouth, his hand slipping to partially soothe and hold your head.

könig can feel you squeezing around his fingers, your breathing telling him how close you are as his thumb rubs soothing circles on your clit. your orgasm crashes over you as you mouth opens, panting against him. he keeps thrusting his cum covered fingers into you as your hips grind as much as they can. after a moment, your orgasm slowly decreasing, könig mutters something. “is that why you were avoiding me today?”

you can’t tell if he’s disappointed or not. and you’re still too scared to look him in the eye. even more now, that his fingers are spreading your arousal and cum all over your pussy lips, his hand still in your pants. “i’m…sorry.” you manage, your embarrassment catching up to you. he doesn’t reply a moment as he keeps playing with your pussy lips slowly. “is that a yes?” he hums.

“…yes.” you murmur back. the moment you say this, his fingers slide right back into your hole making you gasp, and grip onto his arms. you finally gaze up at him, as he begins to finger you again. “w-what—“ you choke out as your eyes threaten to roll, the heat in your core returning. you don’t know his reason for thrusting his fingers back into you. because all he knows is that he wants to watch you cum again.

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criminalamnesia · 1 month

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GOD I LOVE traitor and how strong you've made the reader. It's amazing! And I eagerly await any future parts, whether it's big proper story or drabbles. BUT, you come first and your life does so you do what you gotta and go be amazing! We can wait. Proud of you X

im so late to responding, but thank you! <3

here’s part six :) also not really proofread so I apologize for any errors! I’ll fix them later!

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

you don’t know how long you’ve been sitting on the floor, cross-legged amongst broken glass, brittle flowers, and discarded clothes, when someone knocks on the door.

you don’t move, don’t say anything. the noise seems distant— too far off to be real.

besides, if someone is really knocking on your door, they know you’re in here.

and if they know you’re in here, it could be one of five people. your former squad mates, or the doctor.

the knock sounds again. it shakes you from your stupor, yet you still make no move to answer it. let them come in; let them see what they’ve made of you. of who you were. of who you could’ve been.

the person on the other side of the door is speaking now. you register the muffled baritone as it fights to be heard from the hall.

you clench your fists, then unclench them— stretching out your fingers as far as they go. clench them again. unclench. stretch. repeat.

it’s a tick— a calming habit. you don’t think it’s working at the present moment.

the doorknob turns. you still don’t move.

the door is being pushed in, light from the hallway aggressively slicing through the darkness you’d left yourself in. you fought the urge to curl in on yourself.

you’d been so consumed by your anger— are consumed by it— but coming into this room and seeing that damn note was earth-shaking. it was terrifying, and it was a tangible reminder of the team’s unapologetic tactics. simon’s unapologetic tactics.

the voice is speaking once more, clearer now that the door is out of the way— but you can’t make out the words over the ringing in your ears.

a hand gingerly lands on your shoulder, and that’s when you snap.

you whirl around, throwing yourself into the intruder like a cobra striking its prey. clearly caught off guard, the person lets loose a ‘oomph’ and falls backwards as you take out their legs.

everything is fuzzy. the ringing in your ears crescendos, and it brings pain with it. you’re striking your target with reckless abandon, still not registering who is flailing underneath you.

punches land and land and land. nails scrape and scratch and draw blood. all you see is red— all you hear is the sharpening of a knife or the whirring of a saw.

and then there are hands on you, yanking you away from your victim. the red slowly starts to recede, the ringing in your ears subsiding.

it’s only then do you release you’re screaming.

its only then do you see the swollen and bloodied face of your doctor, lying a foot away from you. she sputters a cough, blood leaving her lips and splattering onto the man leaning over her.

“you need to calm down,” a voice speaks into your ear.

“calm down, or they’ll sedate you,” it says, and you finally stop screaming. you take a breath.

clench your fists. unclench. stretch. repeat.

it takes you another minute to calm down enough to realize the person holding you is simon.

the doctor is being carried away now, and you notice it’s johnny and kyle carrying her. you notice john is standing to your left, eyes full of sympathy and guilt as he looks at you.

“get,” you huff, reaching down to slap at the arms circling your middle. “off me.”

simon releases you instantly. you don’t hesitate to put distance between the two of you. a few feet, at least. he just stands there, eyes watching with an expression you can’t place.

“what happened, love?” john’s voice is a soft rumble as he speaks. he moves a hand toward you, but decides against touching you— even if he only wanted to comfort you.

“I—” you start, glancing down at your hands. they’re bloody again.

“I thought it was—” you try again, but stop yourself.

you thought it was what? thought it was who?

you had heard man’s voice speaking to you. your mind had twisted things— had given you something you wanted to hear, deep down— because it gave you the chance to strike.

it gave you the opportunity to tear apart whichever man from the 141 had been there to check on you.

and you know you had wished it was simon.

john takes a cautious step forward at your silence. “let’s get you somewhere private, yeah? somewhere to cool down.”

the fire licking at your veins has subsided in favor of the chill of shame. of terror at what you’ve done— what you’ve done to the one person you had on your side. the person who was truly on your side.

you don’t fight this time. you give a nod, then solemnly follow him down the corridor. simon falls in behind you.

john takes you to his office, opening the door and ushering you inside. you move without protest, stepping into the dark room.

the two men enter behind you, john flicking on the light while simon pulls the door shut. you would’ve laughed at the scenario if you were in your right mind.

but you weren’t.

you weren’t okay. you knew that you weren’t, at least physically, but what you just did…

there was no way you were going to be transferred now. you doubted you would’ve even before you attacked the doctor.

you’re going to be discharged. you understand why.

but it hurts. this is your job, your life. years and years on the battlefield don’t prepare you for life off of it.

“love?”

john’s voice brings you back to the present. you realize you’ve been standing in the center of the room, unmoving and unblinking.

you feel simon’s hard gaze on your back. you want to cry.

how did things ever get this fucked up?

“im fine.” you say, not bothering to turn around. you didn’t trust yourself to keep it together if you faced them.

“you’re not,” john states, and you roll your eyes.

“im not talking about this with you,” you bite out, circling your arms around yourself. “either of you.”

“you should at least talk to someone, love— this isn’t healthy.”

“please, stop.” you tell him, but john was never good at taking orders. he gave them, not followed them.

“you hated the therapist, and you haven’t spoken to anyone else since… everything.” he continues.

“stop, john,” you try again.

“you need to let it out, love. we’re here—”

you spin around then, fists dropping to your sides. “for the love of god, john, shut the fuck up.”

that stuns him into silence, eyes slightly widened and mouth agape as he looks at you. simon doesn’t move from his position near the door.

“you are the last people i would ever fucking talk to! I don’t even want to be talking to you right now, but you won’t stop trying. trying to talk to me, trying to make it up, trying to wriggle your way back into my good graces.”

you pause, sucking in a breath. “johnny must’ve relayed the message, and that’s why you’ve back off a little— but one wrong fucking move and you’re swooping again! you aren’t my dad, you aren’t my lover, you aren’t my friend, and you’re sure as hell not my fucking captain anymore.”

“so please, john, leave me be. the four of you have done enough.”

the room is silent for a beat, then two. then three. and then simon takes a step forward, removes his balaclava, and looks you square in the face.

he doesn’t open his mouth to speak, so you take the chance to.

“don’t start with me, simon. just don’t.”

“the note,” he says. “you read it.”

you just look at him, a disbelieving scoff leaving your mouth as you give a nod. “yes, I read your fucking note. and I saw the stupid flowers, too, after seeing everything else you wrecked. tell me, how long did you wait after you tied me up to tear it all apart?”

he just watches you. you want to scream.

the note flashes back into your mind.

‘hope you can understand.’

“does it make you feel better, thinking what you did was right?” you ask him.

“I wouldn’t have done it differently.” simon tells you.

you clench your fists. unclench. stretch.

breathe in, breathe out.

“and if the roles were reversed,” you said, watching him. “if you were in my position, would you have expected me to do what you did?”

“yes.” he says, without hesitation.

“you’re unbelievable,” you huff. “is that how little I meant to you? all that time, wasted?”

“that’s not what I said.” he tells you, and you shake your head.

“no, but it’s what you meant.” anger is bubbling up again. you feel overwhelmed; shame and fury battling inside you. the ringing building up in your ears again, emerging from the background.

you can’t do this.

“what i meant is what i said.” he takes another step forward. “you’re just too damn stubborn to listen, always have been.”

“just go, simon.” you tell him. “both of you. go.”

“I wouldn’t change what I did,” he says again. “to protect my team, my family, I would do whatever it takes.”

you bite your tongue. you don’t want to keep arguing with him. he was an unmovable object— there was no way to reason with him.

“im not sorry it happened.” he speaks. “i did what i thought i had to do. what i had to do to make sure my team was safe.”

“and you should understand that, considering this team is all you have, too.”

you don’t respond— and even if you were going to, a knock on the door breaks the tense silence in the room.

johnny pops his head in, his eyes full of concern. “doc’s alrigh’.” he says, his gaze catching yours. “jus’ some bumps and bruises. she’ll be jus’ fine.”

“and she uh— said she’s not pressin’ charges or anythin’. says she still expects to see ya in a few days for your check-up.”

that’s what breaks you.

a tear slips from your eye, falling onto your cheek. another follows, then another, and you’re sobbing as you fall to the floor of price’s office.

the three men are staring, but no one makes any move to comfort you.

probably wise, considering what you did to the last person who tried.

you faintly register the click of the door as it shuts again. you don’t look up— your head in your hands as you cry.

cry about what you’ve done, what you’ve lost. mourn your career and your family and your love for the man who doesn’t regret what he did.

unbeknownst to you, simon is the only one still left in the room. his steps are silent as he approaches you— leaving only a foot of space between your bodies now.

he watches you as he sinks to the ground across from you, his long legs folded over each other, the fingers of his left hand twitching as he finds himself wanting to reach for you.

he still cares for you. his feelings for you were what made him do what he did in the first place.

the love he felt for you, twisting into betrayal and hurt and agony. fueling his actions, his desire to hear you admit your wrongdoings.

passion made people dangerous. passion in love, passion in rage. it was a fine line, and simon had crossed it.

he understood what this meant for you. recalls the conversation he had with price earlier— how laswell was planning for your discharge instead of your transfer.

this was the end of your time with them, and in the military. the hands of the 141, damaging one of their own beyond repair.

he finds himself mourning alongside you, then. mourning what was and what could’ve been.

what should have been.

“im sorry for what we did to you,” he says, but it comes out as a whisper that you don’t hear.

“im sorry.”

thank you all again for your patience! I plan on tying this little series up soon :)

as a reminder, I no longer do taglists. if you want to be notified when I post, follow @troiastitans and turn on notifications. I only reblog my works there.

I hope you all enjoyed :)

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