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#I know they have a platonic relationship but let me dream
floatyflowers · 2 months
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Dark!House of The Dragon Men x Reader
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You tried to balance your relationship with the greens and blacks despite being Rhaenyra's daughter.
And it worked.
With Aegon II Targaryen
Both of you are close in age, as you are older then Jace.
Aegon found himself falling for you, due to many factors, not only because you are beautiful.
You are kind, intelligent, and most importantly YOU LISTEN to him.
Both of you spend too much time together with or without your mothers knowledge.
The only time he stood up to his mother is when she spoke about you in a horrid manner, calling you a bastard.
"If you dare speak about her like that ever again, I will go and inform father!"
He later on becomes your betrothed by Viserys' order to unite the house.
With Aemond Targaryen
You never mocked him like his brother and your siblings.
In fact, you became his friend and shared his interest in reading books.
The only one in house Targaryen that he felt connected to is you.
Sometimes you would sneak into his chamber in the middle of the night though the hidden passages to just chat.
So, it's hard for your Targaryen uncle not to fall for you, he even looked past your legitimacy.
You literally stood by his side when Luke took his eye and comforted him.
But hearing your engagement to his older brother made his blood boil, and he took an oath to steal you away.
Especially after claiming Vhagar, he realized he now has the ability to burn down anyone who he finds as a threat to his affection towards you.
"Don't worry, I will protect you, dear niece"
With Jacearys Velaryon
He respects and loves you dearly, you are his role model.
That is why he started to bully Aemond when he saw you pay attention to the silver haired Targaryen more than him.
When puberty hit him, he began to slowly develop feelings for you.
And what increased those feelings is that he heard his mother mention something about marrying you to him.
But all his dreams came crashing down when Viserys' announced that you would wed Aegon.
And when you actually did marry Aegon, and after years where Viserys' held a feast, Jace tried to convince you to return to Dragonstone with him.
The night he got in a fight with Aegon he let out all his fury, even if he promised to behave.
"Annual your marriage to him and marry me instead"
With Ser Criston Cole (Platonic)
He is your biological father.
And he knows that, so unlike his bad treatment towards your mother and siblings, he treated you kindly.
At the age of ten he revealed to you that he is your real father.
At first you didn't believe him, but as you grew older you did begin to realize the truth.
Instead of avoiding him, you decided to be friendly and call him 'father' when you both are alone.
One time, one of the servants accidentally spilled soup on you.
The next day that servant was found dead.
"I'm your father before being the Queen's sworn sword"
With Gwayne Hightower
He flirted with you before your wedding not realizing that you are his nephew's bride.
Gwayne hates Rhaenyra, but the thought of you being her daughter left him in disbelief.
You are nothing like your mother.
Everything about you scream honor, virtue and kindness.
Gwayne even tried to convince you to runaway before it's too late.
"You still have time to not marry Aegon"
Indeed, it's awful to say that about his nephew.
But he cares about your well-being more than Aegon's happiness.
And it really shows during the war.
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astonmartinii · 6 months
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ballad of lovebirds and puppy dogs | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x fem actress!reader
face claim: rachel zegler
everyone is a hunger games fan, even if you say you're not a hunger games fan you are. this includes lando norris.
based on this request: could you please do a lando norris smau with rachel zegler as the fc!! where the ballad of songbirds and snakes recently came out, twitter could be freaking out over it, and then someone spots her with lando or something!! take it from there queen that’s just my like base plot‼️‼️ - @inejghafawifesblog
MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?
yourusername
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liked by tomblyth, landonorris and 1,231,866 others
tagged: tomblyth
yourusername: kinda have a movie coming out, have yall seen it?
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user1: ANNOUNCE RELATIONSHIP NOW
user2: friendships can exist between men and women you know?
user3: look at her holding his arm though that shit ain't platonic
hunterschafer: my favourite girl in the whole world
yourusername: that's crazy because you're my favourite girl in the whole world too
hunterschafer: crazy when that happens huh
tomblyth: does that mean i'm your favourite man in the whole world
yourusername: my lawyer said i can't answer this question
tomblyth: god you get a boyfriend and all of a sudden i don't mean shit
this comment has been deleted
tomblyth: does our frolicks in the woods mean nothing to you?
user4: WE SAW THAT GRANDPA
user5: sooooo. there is a man.
user6: and it's not tom :( so disappointing their chemistry was insane
user7: babe that's called acting
user8: lando norris in the likes i knew my man had TASTE
user9: i knew there was a reason i liked that man
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f1gossipandtea
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liked by user13, user14 and 12,309 others
tagged: yourusername, landonorris
f1gossipandtea: lando norris was spotted multiple times out in monaco with y/n y/ln !! this comes after his appearance at the premiere of her new film the ballad of songbirds and snakes. do you think they're a cute couple?
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user15: try not to say parents challenge (impossible)
user16: has someone looked into my brain and pulled out my dream threesome and made them a couple
user17: i need them to give me a chance for real
user18: i am defo anti-paparazzi but thank you for these absolute gems xx
user19: those motherfuckers must've been camped out cause literally got the whole itinerary
user20: this feels like such a random couple but after watching the BTS of tbosas they defo have very similar personalities
user21: i did a lil bit of sleuthing and tom has posts of him at races? so do we think he suggested lando? or showed him to y/n?
user22: i also had a wee look and y/n follows basically all of the grid and a couple of the retired drivers so that tells me she likes the sport? like if she just liked lando surely she'd only follow him and maybe some of his friends?
user23: so like my vision is y/n y/ln either performing or singing the national anthem at one of the american races
user24: someone get this gal in the fia stat
user25: who is this girl? she's too irrelevant for lando ...
user26: and who are YOU? he's not going to pick you girly
user27: she's in the top film in the world for weeks now ... let's not be silly
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landonorris
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liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,833,209 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: what the paps didn't get ...
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user28: screaming, crying, throwing up i did not know i needed this so much
user29: i am so unwell this is so cute
user30: i was so on the y/n and tom train but i am happy to say it has been hijacked by lando
yourusername: paps didn't get our good angles :(
landonorris: i'd like to keep the best angles to ourselves
yourusername: no for real, for MY eyes only
maxfewtrell: god you people are obnoxious...
landonorris: you literally told me to stop complaining about being lonely and now i'm being attacked 🤨
maxfewtrell: NOT LIKE THIS THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE
yourusername: fuck them kids
landonorris: what y/n said
danielricciardo: free enchante promotion, y/n you're invited to my wedding
yourusername: the girlfriend effect x enchante goes crazy tbf
landonorris: are you saying i didn't dress well?
yourusername: you either didn't dress well or can't pack for shit you came to GEORGIA IN THE SUMMER WITH A SUITCASE FULL OF HOODIES
landonorris: but that's my brand :(
georgerussell63: the twitch quartet formally announce our disappointment about finding out about this relationship via @f1gossipandtea, we expect a big apology and perhaps and visit from tom
tomblyth: i am THERE
yourusername: eh i think that's on lando .... but real question is who follows @f1gossipandtea
georgerussell63: me duh, i need to check for potential GDPA incidents
alexalbon: i also follow it 👍 no real reason i just like the drama thanks @charles_leclerc and @carlossainz55
yourusername: LMAO
charles_leclerc: i am disappointed in you lando. ALEX WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN
carlossainz55: ???
landonorris: lol would you have even believed me ?
georgerussell63: no
alexalbon: no
charles_leclerc: no
yourusername
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liked by hunterschafer, landonorris and 1,339,309 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: some cheeky behind the scenes pics, including lando demanding to be pampered while i was in hair and make up
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user31: i hope lando can fight (i have brass knuckles on, sorry not sorry)
landonorris: UMMMM ???
yourusername: soz babe they're just passionate
user32: HE WAS ON SET? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING?
landonorris: how dare you !! the makeup girlies LOVE ME
yourusername: sure, if that's what you wanna believe
landonorris: they liked me better than you they said so :p
yourusername: they were just being nice i told them you're fragile
landonorris: i am NOT FRAGILE I AM SOFT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE
user33: okay now i get them 100%
maxverstappen1: so this is why you didn't play fifa with me 🤨
oscarpiastri: so this is why you abandoned me at the airport 🤨
danielricciardo: so this is why you blocked me after i called you seven times in a row it was an emergency you ASSHOLE 🤨
carlossainz55: so this is why you've ditched golf dates the last couple months 🤨
alexalbon: so this is why you didn't come to watch tbosas with me and lily 🤨
georgerussell63: so this is why the GDPA chat was muted on your phone 🤨
yourusername: i ain't reading alla that, i'm happy for you or i'm sorry that happened, i'll see you all in the parking lot at the vegas gp
landonorris: ...sorry?
user34: Y/N IS GOING TO THE VEGAS GP?
maxfewtrell: actually could you have him more often?
landonorris: AHAHAHAA :(
yourusername: gladly :)
landonorris: :)
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f1
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,441,723 others
tagged: landonorris
f1: lando's new helmet for vegas... we wonder where this inspiration came from?
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user38: IS THAT A BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES HELMET
user39: maybe men do deserve rights
landonorris: the ballad of songbirds and snakes is out in cinemas everywhere now !!
yourusername: i knew they should've given you a cameo
landonorris: THERE WAS A CHANCE OF THAT?
yourusername: no, but it would've been funny tho
landonorris: don't get me excited like that :(
danielricciardo: maybe you could have a cameo in snow white, you are what the kids call a short king... sorry
yourusername: LMAO
landonorris: can we stop bullying me on my special post :(
yourusername: sorry babe, i love you and i love your helmet, thank you xxx
landonorris: THANK YOU :)))))
maxverstappen1: so you're telling me i sat through whatever the fuck that opening ceremony was when you could've had y/n perform the whole time?
yourusername: new agent incoming?
landonorris: I KNEW YOU WATCHED THE FILM
maxverstappen1: i am a supportive friend?
landonorris: you didn't even know her?
maxverstappen1: i saw you at the premiere, went through your instagram, saw you only followed her, put two and two together, went to see the film because we're friends by proxy now 👍
yourusername: i am scared and impressed
landonorris: fine... that's kinda cute
user40: okay soz i love this relationship and all the friendships starting
user41: okay but @yourusername who is winning the games
yourusername: fernando or valterri they scare me
fernandoalo_oficial: compliment!
valterribottas: i'll take it
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landonorris
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liked by maxfewtrell, yourusername and 1,723,990 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: i wanted to impress her :( she's a lot better at her day job
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user46: (i'm glad he's okay) lando really was the 'this one is for you babe' and misses meme this weekend
landonorris: not wrong
yourusername: GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND STOP TALKING DOWN TO YOURSELF
user47: currently picturing y/n whisper yelling positive affirmations at lando
yourusername: yes !! baby boy is way too hard on himself and NOT on my watch
landonorris: :)))
yourusername: you did so well this weekend, i loved watching you do what you love - don't be too hard on yourself !!
landonorris: i just wanted to do your helmet proud :(
yourusername: i am more than proud
landonorris: can you sing to me in your country accent again?
yourusername: of course
maxverstappen1: is this a kink?
landonorris: 1. no it's not a kink 2. ASK ME IF I'M OKAY BEFORE YOU TRY TO KINK SHAME ME
maxverstappen1: you're actually spelling even better maybe a concussion was what you needed
yourusername: TOO SOON MAX
maxverstappen1: did you just send me a picture of lando pouting
yourusername: yes ! say sorry now !!!!!
maxverstappen1: fine. i'm sorry lando. i'm glad you aren't hurt and that you don't have a country accent fetish
user48: are these the new terror trio?
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 1,552,589 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: don't listen to this bozo, he's the most talented boy in the world
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user49: THEY HAVE A CHILD?
user50: that's a dog...
yourusername: just because i didn't birth him, doesn't mean mr. fluffy isn't my biological child
landonorris: i'm not a step dad i'm the dad who stepped up 🆙
tomblyth: tom blyth erasure
yourusername: boo you whore
tomblyth: ermmm EXCUSE ME?
yourusername: lando appreciation post must be mean to all other men, sorry !!
tomblyth: understandable, continue.
landonorris: the most talented??? coming from you??? this is high praise
yourusername: and you BETTER take it
landonorris: yes ma'am
maxverstappen1: is this another kink?
landonorris: MAX?
maxverstappen1: it's winter break i'm bored and you have a GIRLFRIEND so i can't terrorise you in person :(
yourusername: attempt to kink shame us one more time and i'm sending mr fluffy at your ankles
yourusername: fuck it i'll send ankle biter yuki in as well
yukitsunoda0511: i'll do it
yourusername: @landonorris i see why he's your favourite now
landonorris: yuki-san!! can we give mr. fluffy a brother?
yukitsunoda0511: i love you guys but i see you way too much as it is
yourusername: harsh crowd
landonorris: at least you have me?
yourusername: TRUE
user51: my life pre and post y/nxlando was so vastly different - i love them
note: thank you for the request !! i have been swamped with work... and recovering from my birthday weekend. i hope you enjoyed it!! i love the hunger games and i can't wait to see tbosas !!
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akumakosuke · 3 months
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Satoru Gojo was born a god among mortals.
From the moment he opened his eyes he was automatically better than everyone, worth more than everyone.
Satoru Gojo stands alone atop a pedestal at the pinnacle of Jujutsu Sorcery, forever destined to bask in the glory of being the strongest. No one could ever dream to reach his level, he didn’t dream to reach his level but it was cast on him like a curse.
He is a cursed child indeed.
Exactly a week after the miracle birth of Satoru Gojo another clan also welcomed a miracle birth.
M/n Goto was born a god among mortals.
From the moment he opened his eyes he was automatically better than everyone, worth more than anyone…except…
M/n Goto forced the pedestal to grow.
Satoru Gojo tipped the balance of the scales and M/n Goto totally destroyed the scale.
All curse users went into hiding, curses became almost completely inactive for an entire year following the birth of two gods.
During the first few years of their lives they remained blissfully unaware of how deep their destinies intertwine, how truly connected they are.
The day they met was another day to go down in the history books.
Two lone gods, wandering a world that will forever be beneath them, filled with people who will forever be beneath them.
Their paths cross and in that moment time stands still for the young gods, a feeling they’ve never experienced, a sudden tugging at their souls, telling them to turn around and they do.
Crystal-like icy blue orbs clash with star-like fiery red orbs and in that moment two lonely gods became a little less lonely.
The two grew close much to the dismay of many. They knew of their places in the world and they knew no one else understands but them. No one else understands they’re cursed children.
Days of meeting for play dates turned into weekend sleepovers, weekend sleepovers turned into months of bonding, months slowly turned into years and M/n and Satoru thrived, they grew and changed but their bond only got deeper.
They pushed each other to the limits, forcing the other to evolve and keep up and evolve they did.
By the age of 15 they were both Special Grade sorcerers heading into their first year at Jujutsu tech.
Their relationship has also evolved over the years much like their power.
They’re best friends, sure they’re closer than most best friends. They have regular sleepovers and share the same bed, unable to fall asleep without cuddling and sure they are affectionate in public, always staying glued to the others side, an arm around a shoulder here, hands resting on the others hips there and maybe they have kissed a few times but that’s just them being best friends, totally platonic!
Do they have an unspoken agreement to reject any advances from other people? Yes.
Do they acknowledged the agreement? No, that’s why its unspoken, just like the reason they reject everyone else, an unspoken mutual agreement to be each others and only each others without putting any labels on it, besides its not like there’s anyone else alive that could ever tear them apart, come between them or even stand on the same level as them.
Suguru Geto.
The moment M/n and Satoru met Suguru their pedestal was forced to widen again.
They were confronted by another and they had mixed feelings about sharing.
--------------------------------------------------
Okay so I was thinking of making this into an entire fic but im not sure.
I have a lot of ideas already, especially about the in depth relationship of the three of them and how they would function.
It would focus on M/n, Satoru and Suguru and how their relationship develops throughout the years in Jujutsu Tech and what would happen during the hidden inventory arc with M/n present and how he would affect the story.
There will be smut of course with Domtop Amab M/n and Subbot Satoru and Suguru .
Let me know if I should make a full on fic or just a smut with a bit of plot sprinkled in~!
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sleepyhollands · 10 months
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false god
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PAIRING harry styles x reader
SUMMARY harry’s having trouble finding enough time to spend with y/n, even after she drops everything and joins him on tour. when they talk, they only seem to argue. when they don’t, they only seem to fuck.
WARNINGS she’s an angsty one— lots of miscommunication, poorly executed arguments, and general couple fighting content. BUT!! there is lots of really cute fluff at the end :> also, beware of smutty content such as soft!dom harry (my favorite), oral (f!receiving, implied m!receiving), unprotected p in v, a brief hesitation to get naked on y/n’s part, an even more brief mention of bondage play, harry leaves like one love bite, and tooth-rotting holding each other while having sex content. lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT 5.5k
AUTHOR’S NOTE fun fact this was supposed to be done months ago and then literally everything that could have gotten in my way did just that. but she’s here now!! writing this was a challenge but i feel so good about it now that it’s complete and i can’t wait for you all to read it. please lmk you enjoyed by leaving feedback and/or reblogging!! special thanks to @cherryjuiceblues for beta reading for me <3 ily <3
LOVER SELECTION one-shots here.
copyright © sleepyhollands. all rights reserved. || my masterlist.
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“harry, it doesn’t matter if—”
“it does to me!”
“hey, there are two people in this relationship, you know.”
“yeah, an‘ one of ’em feels like right shit on what’s meant to be the greatest tour of his life! doesn’t that mean anythin‘ to you?”
“of course it does, i just—”
“really? ’cause y’could’ve fooled me, love.”
“harry, i swear, if you interrupt me one more time, i’m booking the next flight home.” 
… tour had been going really well for harry! he was playing back to back sold out shows in some of the biggest cities in the world, with adoring fans lining up by the thousands, itching to hear him sing live. he’d already had some really sweet interactions on stage, and no crazy mishaps had occurred (he was especially proud of himself for having ensured everyone’s safety so far). just in the last week alone, he’d been nominated for three different awards for his newest album and performances. anyone could see that he was living a dream— the dream, really. the kind that only comes true once in a blue moon. 
and yet… tour had been going really poorly for harry. now, he doesn’t like to complain about much; he knows just how fortunate he is, and actively tries to see the bigger picture when frustrated. but it was really hard to zoom out of his particular situation when he was so zeroed in on a particular aspect that had been bugging him for weeks— y/n. 
don’t get him wrong! y/n herself wasn’t what was bothering him. it was more so her presence, and his… lack thereof. 
if there’s one thing harry prides himself on more than anything, it’s being an attentive lover— even in the most innocent and platonic of ways. he tries his absolute hardest to be a supportive brother, a considerate son, a (hopefully) decent role model to those who look up to him, and especially a present, loving boyfriend. and for the most part, he’s just as successful in those aspects as he is in his career. in fact, y/n regularly speaks of how harry treats her like she hangs the stars in the sky just for him, how he makes her feel like the most special girl in the world. 
but this tour was taking its toll, and harry was taking it out on y/n. he’s never been great at communicating everything in the most positive of ways— that’s where he turns to songwriting— and he’d let his emotions get the better of him after letting them build up for the past couple of weeks. he wasn’t proud of himself, but he needed an outlet. 
harry didn’t mean to start the fight. but when y/n asked him where he’d been after a last minute management meeting following that night’s show kept him an extra half hour later than he said he’d be, it was like all the frustration just erupted. inadequacy is one of his least favorite feelings (next to loneliness), and being a barely-there or only-sometimes-there boyfriend couldn’t be more of a trigger for that particular emotion. 
now here they were, vexation filling the tour bus around them like a fog they could barely see through, inhaling it with every breath and releasing it back into the atmosphere surrounding them. harry huffed out a sigh, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he angrily looked out the window of the tour bus to distract himself for a moment, having to mentally step away from the argument at hand, even if just for a few seconds. watching as the dark streets outside shined with the headlights of other vehicles, he found himself wishing he were in one of them. it would be nice to be in a car alone, nothing but his thoughts and some music to keep him company. 
but he had real company. she was standing not six feet away from him, emulating his defensive position with her arms drawn across her own chest, jaw clenching and relaxing every other moment. when he finally turned to look at her again, he exhaled loudly. 
“we were crazy to think that this could work,” he mumbled, barely audible to y/n, but she was able to make it out. 
even when they fought, the girl seemed to be in sync with him, inhaling deeply, subconsciously countering his previous expulsion of breath. the yin to his yang.
“what are you talking about?”
harry groaned at her words. how didn’t she get this? “y/n, i’m never around! i wake up when you’re still asleep, prepare for the day, go to the venue, help set up the stage, sound check, rehearse a bit, and then ’m off t’go get ready for a show that lasts two hours. almost each night! i come back exhausted and aching to sleep! where d’you see yourself fitting in there?”
when y/n realized it was her turn to speak again, she said, “first off, do you think you could please calm down a little? i can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”
his eyes narrowed. “like what?”
“when you’re acting like a child, harry! i mean, for god’s sake, i’m not nine! i can handle hanging out on my own for a few days at a time and just getting to cuddle with you at night until you have a day off. it’s not like i don’t have things to do throughout the day, too.”
while harry tended to say things he didn’t exactly believe in the heat of the moment, y/n meant every word she uttered. she really was content relaxing in the tour bus or a hotel room taking care of work on her laptop, catching up on new episodes of her favorite shows, or even going out to explore whatever new city they were in by herself. harry had breaks between show days once or twice a week, and the thought of having those days to themselves was enough to sate her desire to spend time with him. it annoyed her that he didn’t understand that, as she’d never been the clingy type and was always very self-sufficient. 
“oh, i’m acting like a child, am i? right, i didn’t realize that wanting t’be present in my relationship with my girlfriend was childish, but hey, you learn something new every day, i s’pose.” 
oh, y/n was really starting to seethe now. letting her arms fall to her sides with a frustrated puff, she began again. 
“god, harry, you’re not childish for wanting to spend time together! i’m saying you need to realize that i’m perfectly capable of waiting for your days off to really spend time with you. you’re acting like we can’t function without each other!”
“the whole idea of you comin‘ on tour with me was to have this time together, y/n,” harry fired back. “if we’re barely going to get to see each other anyways, then what’s the bloody point?”
harry might have spoken too soon. at least, that’s what he thought as he laid overtop y/n on the tour bus couch, because now the point might very well be getting to just feel her lips on his every now and again. 
it was late; harry had just come back from a show. usually, he’s too tired to do anything but crash onto a cloud-like mattress after all the jumping around he does on that stage, but this time all he wanted was his girl. it’d started innocently enough, with harry pulling y/n into his lap on the worn, red leather of the couch. his hands roamed along her hips and down to her waist beneath her soft hoodie (which wasn’t even technically her’s, but is it really theft if harry just leaves his clothes lying around for her to nab?), exploring the soft expanse of her skin, not straying any lower. her own hands were hidden in his curls, lightly scratching at his scalp in what she hoped were soothing motions. 
harry knew he was done for once he initiated the kiss. tentative at first, he pressed light pecks along the corner of her mouth, quick and feathery, like he didn’t really care if he got to kiss her so much as he got to hold her, or simply be with her. but soon, the eagerness set in, like he wasn’t sure when the next time he’d get to have her was, and suddenly he was capturing her mouth with his own, barely giving her a chance to breathe as he tasted her. while harry never really believed in a higher power, he could have sworn he found religion in her lips. 
things only escalated from there. it wasn’t long before harry was wrapping his muscular arms around y/n, so tight that he accidentally squeezed too hard, earning a squeak from the girl. he muttered a hushed but sincere “’m sorry, darling,” to compensate. one hand supported her head, the other splayed across her back as he laid her against the cushions so that he could keep loving on her on the way down. he relished her little whimpers that she tried so hard to suppress, grinning against her jawbone, her neck, any skin he came across on his journey south to more pressing territory. 
harry didn’t bother removing y/n’s hoodie, opting instead to push it up past her naval in favor of gaining access to the waistband of her fluffy sleep shorts. he felt her hands tighten their grip ever so slightly on his shoulders as he hooked his fingers under it, relaxing again when he rubbed the pad of his thumb delicately along her hipbone, reminding her it was only him. 
it was a thing with y/n. she loved harry, of course she did, and she trusted him more than anyone. and maybe it was the way she was brought up, or perhaps a few poor experiences with sexual partners in the past, but there was always a fleeting moment of anxiety before shedding the clothing barrier before sex. like dipping a toe into a cold lake and hesitating a little, then ultimately deciding that jumping in wouldn’t be so bad. 
harry never pried. the first few times they’d slept together, he noticed her nerves, and asked her if she was sure she wanted to continue. y/n had said yes each time, and after a while, he stopped asking. but still, whenever he noticed that brief nervous shift, harry gave her a chance to change her mind. 
this time, he bided his time by sponging tender kisses right above where his fingers were still half hidden under her shorts. he wanted her to feel safe, and taken care of, and he hoped his gentle touches and even breathing could remedy her anxiety. as he waited, harry’s mind drifted…. he was getting lost in the feel of her soft skin, its dips and curves and blemishes. he thought about her waist, how his hands fit so perfectly against its sides; her tummy, and how the muscles there jolted when he tickled them; and her hips… god, if y/n’s body was a church, her hips could be the altar. harry was ready to say a prayer right then, thanking every higher power for blessing him with this gorgeous girl—
“harry?” his love’s melodic voice interrupted his thoughts, and harry’s eyes snapped up to meet hers, his nose continuing to skim just above her navel. “um… you can keep going. please.” 
the corner of harry’s mouth quirked upward, and y/n could have sworn she caught a glimpse of mischief in the jade of his irises, but it was gone in an instant, as he wasted no time in stripping her of her bottoms.
“god, h-harry,” panted y/n, her grip on his curls constricting with every lick to her core, “’s so good, oh—”
“would feel even better if y’stopped trying t’run away from me, wouldn’t it? don’t wanna have to tie you down.”
y/n couldn’t help it! it wasn’t her fault if harry’s tongue was just too good and her body’s natural reaction was to attempt to escape his grip for a little relief. if anything, he should be happy— they’d been at this for so long y/n lost count of the minutes, and after two toe-curling orgasms, one would think harry’s jaw could use a break. 
but that thought flew out the window when y/n remembered who she was metaphorically in bed with. 
“’m sorry…,” she whimpered, gripping the side of the couch cushion as her eyes squeezed shut.
“don‘ have to be sorry, darling,” harry mumbled against her folds, chin glistening with her arousal as he placed a soft kiss to y/n’s clit, making her jolt in his hold. he breathed a short laugh, adjusting his arms so that one held her upper thigh next to his head, while the other pinned her hips to the red leather, restricting her ability to move. “jus’ wanna make you feel as good as possible, is all. will y’let me?”
harry turned his head, nipping at the inside of the girl’s thigh, and she gasped at the brief assault on the softest skin of her body, now adorning the mark of his front teeth that she loved so much. she shuddered a breath as best she could, and harry could tell by the way her knuckles were turning white in their grip on the couch that she was trying her best to be good. feeling a twinge of guilt, he figured maybe he should offer her a second to breathe. y/n opened her eyes when she felt harry’s lips retreat from her aching cunt and the weight of his head rest against the love bite. 
“hey.”
y/n cast her gaze down upon the boy (who looked far too innocent, considering what they were doing) with his cheek laid on her inner thigh, stray hairs tickling her just a tad. playfulness swam in his eyes, but there was an underlying current of concern. 
“doin‘ okay?”
she nodded, gulping. harry noticed. 
“because we can take a break if you want to. just say the word, okay?”
“i will, i-i promise. but… can you please keep going?”
that was all he needed to get right back into it, only with even more fervor than before. when y/n reached her third and final peak of the night, her whole body shook, and harry had the pleasure of getting to watch as he helped her ride out her high. he almost came in his pants, rutting his hips into the sofa, moaning against her core, begging her give it t’me, love, that’s it.
harry pulled back when she started pushing at his head, whining for relief as he gave one final lap at her core. he grinned at her fucked-out figure as he wiped his face on his forearm, then took her hand that had been grasping at the cushion in one of his, bringing the back of it to his lips for a gentle kiss. 
“feel all right, baby?”
“mhm,” she hummed between heaving breaths, glancing at what she assumed could only be a quite painful stiffy between his legs as he sat up, “do you?”
harry followed her line of vision, offering her a chuckle and an i’m fine, using his free hand to smooth his thumb along her brow. before he could even register it, her palm slipped from the grip of his other hand and traveled down to rub against the bulge in his pants, earning a sharp hiss from her boyfriend and a deep groan soon after. 
“why don’t you let me repay the favor?”
harry was pretty sure y/n was asleep. if she wasn’t, she was definitely on the verge— her breaths were deep and even as she laid in his hold, her head on his chest, ear pressed overtop his steadily beating heart. and who could blame her? the evening’s activities had worn her out, which meant harry had done his job properly. he was more than happy to be wide awake, running his fingertips up and down her arm, inhaling the sweet scent of her fruity body wash while she dreamt if it meant she was rested and content and happy. 
moments like these made harry think they could get away with it. the long hours spent apart, the hectic schedules, the fighting. sure, it was tough, and yes, they both had a temper that rivaled one another’s for the ‘least amount of patience award’ on any given day. but every missing ounce of patience was compensated by double its weight in love. they loved one another enough to make it work. 
they could make this work. 
right?
“jesus, harry, how do you think that makes me feel? you’d honestly rather i not be here? are you actually that insecure?”
“c’mon, y/n, you know tha’s not what i meant.”
y/n felt like they were going around in circles, having the same fight over and over again. only this time, the couple found themselves in a beautiful hotel room, with a beautiful view overlooking a beautiful city. and instead of getting to enjoy it, y/n was glaring at harry though the vanity mirror, his back facing her as he tamed his wild curls for tonight’s show… which he had to leave for in just a few short minutes. 
the balled up fist on y/n’s hip flew up to her face, fingers flexing to pinch at the bridge of her nose as her eyes squeezed shut for a moment. 
“i can’t believe this. i dropped everything to be here with you— to support you on the most incredible tour of your career— and instead of being happy i’m here as opposed to the alternative of thousands of miles away in a different time zone for months, you’re sitting here bitching about being too tired?” 
harry sighed deeply, only infuriating y/n more. “you’re missing the point. ’s not that i don’t want you here, or just that ’m too tired. ’s knowing you’re sitting around by yourself, waiting on me while ’m working, when you could be out with friends and family, or sleeping in the comfort of your own bed—”
“that you’re not in!” the girl loudly interjected— how didn’t he get this? “i put all those things aside for us, har. it’s not like i’m leaving my life behind for years. christ’s sake, the tour is over in two months! but somehow, being away from my home and routine is easier than being in the same room as you right now.”
harry contemplated his next words carefully, turning them over in his head a few times and editing any obvious mistakes, leaving the pair of them to marinate in suffocating silence for a good ten or so seconds before he finally spoke. 
“y/n… i can’t be a good boyfriend and a serious artist simultaneously, okay? not while ’m on tour. i can’t keep losing sleep over how well i’m balancing—”
“okay, you know what, harry? you know what? maybe you should just leave me, then. wouldn’t that be easier? you’d be able to sleep better at night, right?”
they both knew she didn’t mean it, though harry couldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt to hear. but she was pissed, and harry knew better than to try to reason with her when she was like this. 
when she realized he wasn’t going to respond, instead electing to stare brokenly into the mirror, she continued. “you know damn well how hard i work for this relationship. i’ve flown across the oceans that have separated us, driven for hours just to get to see you for, like, one— hell, i’ve skipped some of my most important classes so we could go to shitty dive bars in the middle of the day together! yeah, remember that? i love you, okay? people who love each other are supposed to be grateful for any time they have together at all, no matter if it’s every day or once a year.”
y/n took a breath, finally cooling down after her heated rant. she took a moment to take in the sight of her boyfriend, dressed so vibrantly, feeling anything but. 
“they warned us about times like this,” the defeated tone of y/n’s whisper was enough to finally get harry to say something. 
“what was that, love?”
the girl swallowed the little saliva in her mouth before speaking up a mere decibel. “remember what my parents said? ‘the road gets hard, and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith,’” she imitated her father’s deep voice, and if not for the circumstances, harry might’ve laughed. 
they weren’t lost, were they?
if there was such a thing as heaven on earth, y/n is pretty sure she’s been there. in fact, she goes there whenever harry so much as touches her. 
when he kisses her shin as they lay watching a movie together on the couch, pulling her leg up off his lap and craning his neck downward to meet it in the middle. when he runs his fingers down the bridge of her nose, making an exaggerated boop! noise once he reaches the tip, gently pressing against it like a doorbell. and especially when he has her like this. 
harry’s arms felt secure wrapped around y/n’s torso, her hips moving back and forth atop his own. the feeling of his cock twitching and shifting inside her while her nipples rub deliciously along his chest made her dizzy, like she had just gotten off a loopy rollercoaster. harry’s back arched just slightly off the plush mattress of their hotel suite’s bed when y/n gave a little bounce, arms constricting around her and forcing a pleased sigh to fall from her lips. 
the girl hid her face in the crook of his neck, and harry could feel each and every hot breath against his skin. lost in pleasure, he let his large hands migrate from her hips down to her bum, where he gave a small pinch to the flesh, eliciting a yelp and a small jolt from y/n. 
“sorry, baby,” he laughed, “couldn’t help m’self.” harry gently flattened his palm against the now tender skin, rubbing there softly in an attempt to soothe the little ache he left. when he felt satisfied, he shifted to rubbing between her shoulder blades instead, his other arm still wrapped around her lower back as she returned to her previous rhythm above him. 
y/n could tell harry was enjoying himself. his groans alone were evidence enough, not to mention the little utterances of “shit, darling,” and “so good t’me,” he frequently let slip. but perhaps he just needed a bit more to reach his high, because without warning his hands were on her thighs, gripping tightly as he began to thrust upwards into her at a much quicker pace than she had originally set— it had her seeing stars in a matter of mere seconds. 
“oh, god— harry,” y/n gasped out, gripping the edge of the plush pillow by harry’s ear. she could feel him hitting that special spot inside her with every snap of his hips, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling back into her head, muscles tightening all throughout her body. 
“almost there, angel… just…,” harry’s thrusts began to slow, becoming more deliberate, and now he was moving her hips to grind against his each time they met, sending y/n over the edge. 
y/n’s moans were long and drawn out as she came, body spasms making her hold on more tightly to harry for stability. she didn’t even hear him finish, too busy reveling in the euphoric feeling of cumming in his arms, surrounded by warmth and love and feeling the safest she had in a long while. 
it was moments like these where y/n couldn’t fathom how she’s ever been upset with harry. he was perfect, lying here under her unsteady body, breathing deeply not only to catch his breath, but to take in the smell of her. she wanted this for eternity. and if this was heaven, then surely hell was when they fought with each other. 
y/n thought she was dreaming at first, not used to being roused from her slumber by anything other than her well-timed alarm and the occasional bark of a dog on a nearby street. she expected that after blinking the sleep from her eyes a few times, the vague image of her favorite boy would dissipate, and she’d fall back into the comfort of her warm pillow. but when she squeezed them shut once, then twice, and her boyfriend’s face was still a foot away from her’s, brushing his fingertips up her nose and along her brow, she set aside her exhaustion in exchange for confusion.
now, harry knew better than to wake y/n up. in most circumstances, she’d tell him off, or gently kick at him to get him to leave her alone. he found it rather endearing, and it’s one of the reasons he’s so protective of her in her sleep— always holding her close to keep her safe, shielding her eyes from any light intruding on the space she lay, making sure both their phones were set to ‘do not disturb.’ but he had to make an exception, just this once. 
“darling,” she barely registered his whisper, “wake up f’me, please?”
a whine fell from y/n’s lips, her eyes scrunching shut as she turned her body away from him, which harry knew was code for let me sleep, for fuck’s sake! a smile graced his lips at the action, jotting down a mental note to make this up to her later. 
compensating for the newfound distance between them, harry scooted closer to her. he kneeled on the floor next to the bed, close to the pillows she rested upon. he laid one arm against the mattress, perching his chin on the back of his wrist. using his free hand, he continued to brush his fingertips lightly against his love’s cheek, her jaw— all along her face, really. god, her loves her face so much.  
“please, baby?”
harry had just come back from one of his best performances yet— the crowd’s energy was unmatched, the chemistry between him and his band members was palpable, and he’d managed to not get hit with any flying objects all night! but what really did it for him was the fan project he was surprised with at the end of the show. thousands of people in the room wore light-up bracelets that shone pink and blue during one of his favorite songs, ‘love of my life.’ if harry’s heart had been any more full in that moment, it might’ve exploded right there in his chest. 
he had been on cloud nine for a moment. but soon, realization washed over him in a way that squeezed at his lungs, stealing his breath for a second. the love of his life was somewhere miles away, probably sitting in their hotel room watching a comfort film, oblivious to anything he was feeling on that stage. he just wanted to go home to her and gush about what had happened, and how he wished she’d been there, and how it made so much sense that it would happen during ‘love of my life’ because it was the perfect representation of the amount of love he had for his, and how if she’d have been there, he would have looked directly at her and smiled the whole time. 
it made him realize how bloody stupid he was.
in retrospect, the conversation he’d needlessly just woken y/n up for could have waited until morning. but then harry wouldn’t have been able to sleep if he didn’t tell her he was sorry right away. 
a groan sounded through the room, followed by the ruffling of bedsheets as the girl turned back over to glare annoyedly at harry. he let out a soft laugh at her behavior. 
“’m sorry, baby. know you jus‘ wanna sleep right now, but ’s it okay if we talk for a mo‘?”
“now?” y/n asked in a gravelly voice.
“now, m‘ love.”
with a soft sigh, she relented, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her knuckles. harry caught the motion, bringing his hands up to pull hers away from her face. he didn’t like when y/n did that, as she always managed to do it too roughly. instead, he held her smaller hands in his own, getting up to sit on the edge of the bed, facing her. 
“what is it?” y/n asked through a yawn. harry looked at her for a moment— really looked at her— before responding.
“i’m sorry.”
it took her a moment to register his words. “for waking me up?”
harry laughed that dreamy laugh she loved so much, and it almost made up for the fact that she was up at twelve thirty in the morning. “no, y’little minx. not for that. well, yes, for that, but that’s not what i meant.”
“what are you sorry for, then?” 
harry looked at her with an expression y/n couldn’t place. it look him a few beats to speak. “i… i’m sorry i was such a prick before. i love that you’re here, an‘ that i get t’see you when i’m off. know you put aside a lot for this, an‘ i ruined it with m’own problems. didn’t mean to.”
y/n’s features softened at the boy’s sincerity, and if it weren’t for the warmth his hands encapsulating hers provided, she’d have reached out and held his face, peppering kisses over every dip and curve. 
“i know you didn’t…. i’m sorry, too.”
“for what?”
“i should’ve listened better. you were trying to tell me how you felt and i just disregarded it. that wasn’t very nice of me, either.”
the right corner of harry’s lips tugged upwards, morphing his mouth into that little half-grin y/n adored so much. “think we can get past it, darling?”
the girl scooted forward the tiniest bit, harry’s magnetic pull too hard to resist. though they were the only two in the room, she whispered, “i’ll forgive you if you forgive me.” harry liked how she made something so simple sound like a secret deal between them.
harry’s half-smile quickly quirked up, completing itself, and y/n swooned over his dimples and adorable bunny teeth. a short and quiet breath of a laugh fell past his lips, and for a moment, he just looked at her. but his gaze caught a glimpse of uncertainty in her eyes, and his grin faltered a bit. 
y/n was always good at hiding her true emotions when she wanted to. not when it really mattered, don’t get her wrong— she wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit. but at dinner with her parents or meetings at work, she was able to pretend she wasn’t exhausted or annoyed. it never worked with harry, though. he could read and understand her like his own lyrics, and tonight was no exception. he saw through the mask of humor at her uncertainty, and a pang of guilt bloomed in his chest. 
he let out a sigh as he beckoned her forward by gently tugging her hands, still in his, toward him. “c’mere, baby,” he said softly, pulling his love into his lap. y/n curled into him, knees tucked upward into her chest as his strong arms found purchase around her frame, holding her tenderly but securely. one of harry’s large hands held the back of her head against him, her ear right over his heart, listening to it beat for her. 
“love you like crazy. you’ve no idea.” he peppered light kisses to the top of her head, so softly she might’ve missed one or two. “thank you for comin‘ an‘ s’porting me. means the world, honestly.” 
“i’m happy to be anywhere with you, har,” she replied in a voice honey-thick with sleep. “even if it’s just for a few minutes. always so happy to have you.”
harry closed his eyes, laying back into the pillows, bringing y/n down with him so that she was laying overtop his sturdy body, inhaling his every exhale. 
“you have me,” he said, though he was almost certain she didn’t hear him, likely already pulled into the void of sleep, drawn in by the comfort of harry’s arms, his smell, him. 
“you’ll always have me.”
taglist (final time using the old one, see new link in bio): @fahsey @caswinchester2000 @lmaotshollandd @jackiehollanderr @nervousdadmode @amii-nyc @skitmix @auggie2000 @voguesir @yourgoldengirls @hunnybunimdun @lolooo22 @atoris-fantasy
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puckinghischier · 2 months
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Bouy
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nico hischier x fem!reader, jack hughes x platonic!reader, luke hughes x platonic!reader
summary: reader gets dragged to the bar by jack to meet all of his teammates, but finds herself drawn to a certain swiss captain
notes: part 2 to locksmith!! probably some inaccuracies about various player’s personalities, but all in the name of entertainment, right? i didn’t proofread either, oops. don’t know if i’m happy with how this turned out but here it is nonetheless. hope you enjoy!! 🫶🏼
part 1, part 3, part 4
[4.6k]
~
The bar that Jack picked is surprisingly busy for a week night. It’s not overcrowded, but it’s busy enough to where you’re having to hold on to the back of his shirt so you don’t lose him. He leads the two of you over to a set of tables tucked away at the back of the bar. Jack is greeted with shouts and hugs as you drop your grip on him and simply stand back, letting him have his moment. You recognize a few of the faces, no names coming to mind, but most of the faces you’ve never seen before. You should know the names and faces of who you’re assuming are Jack’s teammates, but the truth is, despite your relationship with the Hughes family, you’ve never been one to follow hockey very closely. You don’t come from an area where hockey is a big deal, and though you understand the logistics of the game and you’ve traveled to watch all three brothers in some of their biggest games pre-NHL, your knowledge of the league’s players pretty much begins and ends with Jack, Luke, and Quinn.
“Long time no see, hallway sleeper,” you’re pulled from your thoughts at the sound of a voice in your ear. You turn to see Nico, no hat this time, soft, brown hair on full display. He was still wearing a white t-shirt, only his sweats have been swapped for jeans this time.
“Long time no see, locksmith.”
Nico laughs, and for the second time today you allow yourself to think about how lovely the sound is. “You know, all in a day’s work.”
“Sounds like someone really should have a conversation with the big heads at the NHL. Their poor players work so hard, only to have to pick up second jobs on their off days in order to pay the bills. Shame on them,” you joke.
“I know! Maybe it’s time I go on strike, put my full attention to helping pretty girls break into their apartments full time,” he responds, a small blush forming on your cheeks.
“Well I don’t know about all that, I need my own personal locksmith on call at all times. You can’t abandon me in my time of need!”
“Wouldn’t ever dream of it,” Nico places his hand over his chest, feigning offense. You glance over his shoulder, eyeing the bar, thinking about the vodka cranberry that’s calling your name. He turns and follows your eyes. “Did you want to go get something to drink-“
“Neeks!! What’s up man! We missed you today!” Jack cuts Nico off as he turns around, sticking a hand out in-between himself and his captain. “The kids were asking where you were, you totally have to come with us next time!”
“Yeah, man. Next time, for sure. Just needed a rest day, y’know?” Nico responds, slapping Jack’s outstretched hand.
The two begin their own conversation about the charity skate while you stand in the background. You know Jack isn’t ignoring you on purpose, but you’re getting a little tired of just standing around, deciding that you need that drink sooner than later to loosen yourself up a bit and prepare yourself for the endless stream of socializing you know is about to come your way.
“Hey, J, I’m gonna get a drink, okay? I’ll be right back,” you interrupt the conversation, knowing Jack would be worried if he looked up and you were nowhere to be found.
“Oh shit, Y/N I’m so sorry, I totally forgot to introduce you to everyone. Neeks, this is Y/N, Y/N, Nico.”
“Yeah, we met earlier. When you decided to lock the door on your way out this morning and Nico seems to be the only person with a spare key to the place,” you deadpan, watching a confused look glaze over Jack’s features.
“I left the door unlocked, I swear! I even double checked as I was leaving, because Lu-“ Jack suddenly pauses. “Luke must have locked it when he went to grab his beanie he forgot. I’m so sorry, Bouy,” Jack apologizes, letting the nickname he gave you when you were kids slip out of his mouth.
“Bouy?” you hear Nico’s confusion, looking between the two of you, clearly confused.
“We’re not even going there right now, just a stupid nickname from one summer as a kid, not even important. What is important is that I get a drink, ASAP,” you say, once again trying to make your way to the bar.
You walk away from the two men, sights set on an empty spot near the end of the bar. Admittedly, getting a drink seemed way easier in theory than in execution, because no matter how hard you tried, you cannot get the attention of the bartender. You’ve tried waving, yelling, and following her as she makes her way down the line of patrons, but to no avail. You give up with a huff, turning around and leaning your back against the bar, trying to brainstorm how to get a drink in your hand sooner rather than later. “What if I just go take someone’s drink, what would they do then?” you speak aloud to no one other than yourself.
“I would advise against that. Who knows what concoctions some of these people are drinking.”
You whip your head around to find no other than Nico himself standing to your left. You begin to think him sneaking up on people is a habit of his, seeing as this is the second time he’s both surprised you and caught you talking to yourself today.
“You’ve got to stop sneaking up on me, Jesus.”
“Sorry. You just seemed so lost in that head of yours. I’d ask you what you’re thinking, but I’ve learned if I stand here long enough you’ll just say it out loud,” Nico jabs, amusement once again present in his brown eyes. It seems that’s a common occurrence whenever you’re in his presence.
“If you think I speak my mind now, just wait until I actually get a few drinks in me. You’ll be begging me to shut up,” you joke, turning slightly to see if the bartender is anywhere near your area.
“How about we test the theory. Need help?” he asks, challenging your words.
“I mean, be my guest, but I’ve been trying for what seems like forever,” you grumble, moving over slightly to make room for him at the bar.
You watch him stick his hand out, the bartender almost immediately looking over and nodding, signaling she’ll be right over. Your jaw drops. You were a little pissed, honestly. How in the hell did he just do that? You turn your head to look at him, eyes narrowed.
“How in the hell did you just do that?” your mouth mirrors your thoughts.
“Oh y’know, I have my ways,” he says, eyes twinkling, smirk on his lips.
“No, I demand to know. There’s no way I’ve been standing up here for the better part of fifteen minutes with not even a glance in my direction, yet all you have to do is stick your hand out two inches from your face and suddenly you’re next in line,” you spit out, your tone showing your frustration at the situation.
Nico opens his mouth to respond, but a voice from the other side of the bar sounds before he can get a word out.
“Hey, Neeks, what can I get for ya? Your usual?” the woman serving drinks asks, using the same nickname Jack calls Nico.
“Nah, just a Michelob for me tonight. Got morning skate tomorrow,” he tells her, seeming familiar with the woman. She turns to you, giving you the opportunity to really look at the girl. She was short, but not shorter than yourself. She had platinum blonde hair that was tied back into a high ponytail, a pen stuck right through the middle of it. She was wearing a bright green cropped tank top with black leggings. Her make-up was the perfect combination of natural, yet bold. She was….really fucking pretty. Like, intimidatingly pretty. The kind of girl that would make even the most confident of women feel slightly insecure, to no fault of her own.
“Is that all or…?” she trailed off, looking at you expectantly.
“Can I just get a vodka cranberry? Double?” you asked, suddenly regretting your decision to not even wear make-up tonight.
You hear her scoff through a “Of course, coming right up,” before looking at Nico once again, then hurrying off to grab Nico’s beer and your cocktail.
“Is there something wrong with a vodka cran up here? Why the attitude?” you spit out, annoyed that she clearly found an issue with your choice of drink.
“You just have to ignore Jess, she’s a bit of an alcohol snob. Thinks everyone should drink top shelf or not even bother drinking at all,” Nico gives you the girl’s name.
You were going to respond to the fact that the two are on a first name basis, but your drinks arrived before you had the chance. You looked up to thank the girl, Jess as you now know, but shut your mouth when you saw the exchange happening before you.
“Just add it to my tab, Jess. Both of them,” Nico tells her, grabbing the bottle of Michelob sitting in front of him.
“Sure thing, Neeks. If you need anything else just give me a shout. You know where to find me,” Jess lets her hand linger, briefly brushing against Nico’s. You look up to her face, seeing the sultry look in her eyes, her chin slightly dropped. She’s looking at Nico like he’s a meal and she hasn’t eaten in days. Glancing over at the man standing next to you, you notice his entire face is flushed red, up to the tips of his ears.
Your brows shoot up in both surprise and understanding. These two have slept together! Her actions a dead giveaway, albeit subtle. Girls recognize girls, you know? It surely explains why he was so quick to get her attention when you couldn’t even get so much as a glance. You’re fighting against every single muscle in your face to not break out into laughter, finding this amusing for some reason.
“Yeah, gotcha. Thanks, Jess,” Nico replies to the girl, stepping back a few inches from the bar.
You turn and follow him in the direction of the tables from earlier, trying your hardest to not get lost in the crowd of bodies you’re having to weave through.
“So, you didn’t tell me that all I had to do to get the bartender’s attention was sleep with her,” you said, stopping Nico in his tracks.
He turns to look at you, eyes wide and face red, seeming a little embarrassed. You worry you’ve already stuck your foot in your mouth much too early into the night.
“How did you- What makes you think-“ he fumbles over his words.
“I’m a girl, silly. I know when another girl is giving a man the ‘you gave me one of the best nights of my life and I want to do you again’ eyes. Nothing to be ashamed of, she’s gorgeous,” you interrupt, amused at his embarrassment.
You actually think its kind of sweet he seems embarrassed. You half expected him to meet your comments with a smirk and puff his chest out a bit, proud that he’d scored such a beautiful woman, but he’s not. You’ve met plenty of Jack’s previous teammates over the years, most of them cocky assholes that care about nothing more than who they can sleep with next. Never missing the chance to boast to all of his buddies about the blonde chick he managed to sneak into his room last night.
Nico’s response was the complete opposite of that. He almost recoiled at your words, looking like he wanted to crawl under the nearest table he could find and hide there until the end of the night. It’s a refreshing contrast to what you’re used to. You start to feel a little bad for even bringing it up.
Nico stands still, staring at you like he’d rather be anywhere else at the moment, beer forgotten in his hand. You can see the wheels turning in his head on how he’s going to get out of this situation. “Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s none of my business. I didn’t mean anything by it, I’m just used to Jack’s other friends that never shut up about who they sleep with. My filter has a few holes in it I need to patch up I guess. I haven’t even had a drink and I’m already sticking my foot in my mouth-“
“I haven’t slept with her.”
Your mouth snaps shut mid-sentence. You stare at the man in front of you, noticing how he keeps fidgeting, clearly uncomfortable. He keeps shifting his weight from foot to foot, switching his beer from left to right to run whichever hand is free through his hair. His eyes keep darting anywhere but your face, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.
“Well if you haven’t then she sure wants to,” you try to backtrack a bit, hoping you can humor your way out of the mess you walked yourself into.
“Yeah, I’m sure she does. Just like she wants to sleep with the rest of the team,” he scoffs out. “Don’t get me wrong, Jess is nice and all, but she hits on all of us. It’s worked on a few of the guys. I’ve seen her drop a few of them off at practice in the mornings, but she never lets it go farther than that. Some of the guys prefer…arrangements like that, but it’s not really my style,” Nico replies, shocking you with his sudden honesty.
“I find it hard to believe that beautiful blondes aren’t your type, but I’ll let it slide for now,” you narrow your eyes, not sure how else to respond to his unexpected candor.
“It seems that my type is talkative strangers, but I’ll let you know if it changes,” Nico tells you with a smirk, his shift in personality giving you whiplash as he walks off without another word.
———————————————————————————
“So, where exactly are you from, Y/N?” you get asked for the fourth time in about 5 minutes from the man sitting to your right. You can’t exactly remember his name, only that he’s drank about 4 beers in the time you’ve been sitting here. Considering Jack went down the line and literally rapid fired names at you once you returned to the tables, you forgive yourself for not remembering.
“Dawson, she already told you three times, dude. She’s from Tennessee!” the man to your left shouts across you a little too loudly. You flinch a bit at just how loud these guys can be, having been shuffled around from conversation to conversation for the past hour, each man reaching a volume you didn’t know was humanly possible.
Jack will come by whatever table you’re currently at about every 30 minutes and tug you in whatever direction he sees fit, going on and on about how you just HAVE to meet so and so because they’ll love you. You love that he’s trying to include you and integrate you into the group dynamic the team has going on, but you really wish he would just let you mingle on your own.
His teammates have been nothing but welcoming and kind, but most of them are more than a few drinks deep and have been talking about whatever upcoming game they have and what strategies they need to improve on, leaving you left out and unable to add anything to the conversation.
“Virginia, actually. But close! I lived right on the border of Tennessee and Virginia, so it’s almost like I’m from both,” you shout back, explaining your origin…again.
“Wait, Virginia and Tennessee border each other?” Mr. four beers questions, Dawson you’ve just learned.
“Mercer you idiot, of course they border each other. Have you ever even looked at a fucking map?” the man to your left responds, reaching behind you and slapping Dawson on the back of the head.
“Ow! I’m from Canada, Johnny! How am I supposed to know? Do you know what Canadian states border one another?” Dawson fires back at the man to your left, Johnny.
“Provinces.”
“What?”
“Canada has provinces, not states, Dawson,” Johnny says, a blank look on his face as he stares at Dawson.
“Fuck you. And your Harvard degree,” Dawson crosses his arms and puffs up like a kid. It’s amusing really, watching the two bicker like siblings.
As the two continue to go back and forth, you can’t help but let your eyes wander around the bar, searching for a pair of brown ones. You haven’t spoken to Nico since he walked away from you earlier, after he all but told you that you were his type. His words took you by surprise, having only known the man for a few hours. You can’t lie and say you didn’t find him attractive from the moment you saw him standing in his doorway this morning, but you can’t let yourself go there, can you? You’ve been in the city less than twenty-four hours. You haven’t even fully unpacked all of your clothes yet, and here you are, unable to get your best friend’s captain off of your mind.
Just as you try to shake the thoughts running through your head, a pair of eyes find yours, causing you to sit up a little straighter. He’s standing at a table with Jack and a man that you remember to be named Timo. He’s Swiss, too, you learned when Jack introduced the two of you. He told you that he and Nico played together before they both found themselves with the Devils, the pair having hockey history.
Nico glances away, only briefly, before finding your eyes again, noticing the two men arguing on either side of you. He raises his eyebrow, as if asking you if you need help, but you just shrug and give a little half smile, rolling your eyes as if to say ‘boys, right?’. He lets out a chuckle, his shoulders shaking slightly. You see him exchange a few words with Jack and Timo before stepping away from the table, walking in the direction of the table you’re sitting at.
Just as Nico is only a few steps away, you feel your phone buzzing from where its laying on your thigh. You look at the screen, your mother’s name flashing across the screen. Realizing you hadn’t called her since your plane landed earlier in the day, you decide you should probably take the call.
“Sorry, guys, I gotta take this call,” you slide out from in-between the two hockey players, still arguing away. They don’t even notice your departure, too lost in discussing geography.
You look over to see Nico stop in his tracks, a confused look on his face. You hold up your phone and point to the screen, mouthing the word ‘mom’ before walking over to a secluded corner of the bar for some quiet.
“Hey, mom. Sorry I forgot to call earlier. It’s been a long day,” you sigh, leaning against the cool brick wall.
“Oh, sweetie, it’s okay. I just wanted to see how you were settling in. See how the boys were,” she pauses. “Where are you? What’s all that noise in the background?” she questions, slight concern in her voice.
“You know Jack, he wanted to come out and ‘celebrate’ the fact that I live in Jersey now. Tried to get out of it, but Jack never misses a chance to go out. Still have a ton of unpacking to do. I hope to have it all done before too long, though.”
“I should’ve known Jack would be ready to party as soon as you got there. You were always his favorite tag along,” she chuckles, referencing all the time Jack would drag you to various outings and events during the summer.
“Yeah, well this tag along is ready to make her way to her bed for the night, but I have to drive Jack home, so I’ll probably still be here awhile.”
“Honey just tell him you’re ready to go home. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“Nah, I can wait it out a little bit longer. He’s too busy introducing me to everyone. He was so excited for me to meet his teammates,” you quickly glance towards where Jack stands. “You’d think I was some local celebrity or something the way he’s been shuffling me from table to table for meet and greets,” you laugh into the phone.
“He’s just happy to have you around again, sweetheart. I know how much you missed him, I’m sure he missed you just as much. He’s just trying to make sure you’re included.”
“I know, I know. It’s sweet, really, I just wish he would’ve let me have a few days before throwing me into a group of drunk hockey players, as usual,” you tell your mom, trying not to sound ungrateful. You do appreciate how eager Jack is to have all his friends meet you, but you’re growing sleepier by the minute.
“Welcome to life with Rowdy…again,” your mom laughs, using Jack’s childhood nickname.
“At least it’s sure to be an interesting one,” you reply, causing her laugh to grow. “Alright, momma, I better go before Jack comes looking for me. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I love you,” you say, looking over towards Jack’s table, watching him look around, likely noticing your absence.
“Alright, honey. I love you!” she says, hanging up the phone.
You lean your head back against the wall, closing your eyes for a second and taking a deep breath before returning to the chaos of bodies across the room.
“Did Dawson and Johnny really make that bad of a first impression that you’re hiding in a dark corner?”
Yet again, you jump at the voice that seems to be following you around today. You raise your head up and open your eyes, Nico standing a few feet away from you. You simply close your eyes once again and lay your head back against the wall once more, needing another minute to collect yourself.
“You know, I think I’m going to buy you some of those shoes with squeakers in them, that way I can always know when you’re coming,” you tell him, enjoying the feeling of the cool concrete against your head.
All you hear in response is a laugh, which has you raising your head to look at Nico again. You admire the way he scrunches his nose when he laughs, already thinking about how you can coax the sound out of him again.
“Where’s the fun in that now…Bouy, was it?” he recalls your nickname from earlier, earning a glare from you.
“Don’t you even start,” you warn.
“You’re really not going to tell me why Jack called you that? I’ve been trying to get the story out of him for the past two hours. He won’t budge, saying only you can tell it.”
“Trust me, it’s not even worth your time. I don’t even understand why the nickname stuck. They’re all stupid, the lot of them,” you shut down the request.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pry it out of you one day. I’ll solve the Bouy mystery eventually,” Nico persists, not letting the subject drop that easily.
You remove yourself from the wall, sliding your phone into your back pocket. You run your hand through your hair with a huff, preparing yourself to join the others once again.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. My mom called, so I figured I’d better take it. A little tired, but I’m all good. Just hope Jack tires out sooner rather than later,” you shrug your shoulders.
“I can give him a ride home if you want to leave? I don’t mind, really. Not like it’s exactly out of the way,” Nico offers.
“No, I should stay. He was really excited for me to meet everyone tonight so I feel like I should at least stay a little bit longer. I don’t want to bail on him this soon.”
“Trust me, if it was up to Jack he wouldn’t leave until they kicked him out,” Nico states, nothing but seriousness in his tone.
“Well, we don’t call him Rowdy for nothing,” you joke. “Speaking of, we’ve been spotted,” you notice Jack making his way over to where the two of you stand.
“Hey, everything alright? I couldn’t find you and Timo said he saw you come over here awhile ago, then said he saw Nico come over here too. You okay?” Jack says as he approaches, glancing towards Nico before looking at you, concern in his tone and on his face.
“No, yeah, I’m fine. Mom called and I came over here so I could here her better, then Nico came to check on me. We were about to come join everyone again, I was just enjoying the quiet for another minute,” you tell Jack, watching the worry fall from his face.
“Oh tell momma Y/L/N that her favorite surrogate son misses her,” Jack brightens at the mention of your mom, both of you viewing the other’s parents as a second set, just as close to them as you were your own.
“I will when she calls tomorrow,” you chuckle, knowing your mom will get a kick out of this conversation.
“I actually came over here to see if you were ready to go? We have morning skate tomorrow and Luke just texted me asking when we were coming home, which usually means he’s lonely and feeling left out, so we should probably get going,” Jack says, surprising you by granting your earlier wishes.
“Oh my god yes, please. I’m so tired,” you sigh, letting your shoulders slump, relieved that you’re only a few minutes away from climbing in your bed.
“I thought so, you looked like you were having a grand time with Dawson and Johnny,” Jack laughs, recalling your earlier position between the two geography enthusiasts.
“They were literally yelling at each other about the geography of the U.S. and Canada,” you told the two men standing with you, both of them breaking out into laughter.
“That’s nothing. Once they argued for a full two hours on if pterodactyl was spelled with a p or not,” Nico adds in, having been silent until now, causing you to be the one filled with laughter.
Jack looks over, seeming to just now remember Nico was also standing with the two of you.
“You need a ride home, cap?” Jack offers, looking over at you with suspicious eyes before looking back at Nico.
“Nah, I’ve only had two beers. I’m good to drive. Plus, I should probably make sure Dawson gets home and in bed. He’s going to regret all those tequila shots when we have to be on the ice at eight tomorrow morning.”
“Exactly why I’m tapping out now. Be careful, Neeks. See you at practice,” Jack tells his captain before turning to you. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”
“Like it’s a hot summer day.”
Jack smiles, the phrase becoming a trademark of yours over the years. You don’t even remember what started it, just that it’s become the signature end to many nights of fun for the two of you. He turns to walk away and you go to follow him before you realized you didn’t say goodbye to Nico. Not wanting to feel rude, you turn around to say your goodbyes to the captain.
“Goodnight, Nico. Have a good practice tomorrow.”
“Thanks. Goodnight, Bouy,” he responds, a shit-eating grin breaking out on his face.
Fuck you, Jack Hughes.
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moonsaver · 20 days
Note
Do you have any thoughts about the opposite of the "Im afraid to confess because our friendship could get ruined"? As in, "I'm afraid to reject you because I don't want to lose this friendship so I accept your confession even though I don't feel that way for you and never will".
Like the protagonist tries to convince themselves that this is just like being friends only that we now kiss (and more). I feel like it would fit with a yandere that is a bit delusional or desperate, eveb insecure so whenever the protagonist doesnt seem as into this relationship as them, they just try to convince themselves otherwise, or love bomb the protagonist.
Idk lately Ive been into reversing the tropes and I found this one particularly interesting to me when it comes to a yandere. In HSR i was thinking of Argenti as he seems like the delusional type. Or even Aventurine who would have had to put down a lot of walls to be friends with you and then even more walls just to confess, so rejecting him doesnt seem like an option to the protag (out of pity and care).
THIS THIS THIS!!!! qnon ur brain is so wrinkly and soggy with brain juice..... this used to be my favorite trope at some point idk why i forgot about it i remember eating up any fanfics out there based on this
Tw: yandere (obv), manipulation, intimacy (mainly romantic, only hints of sexual), emotional blackmailing, whatever yadda yadda
But anyways, under the cut!
Okay, so, I imagine this is possible with literally... almost all of hsr's cast. Mainly because most of them have such tragic backstories, and most of them out of that have a really shrewd and cunning mind, so they'll exploit this to hell and back.
I also imagine this is with a people pleasing reader, so lets go with a bit of implication of that.
Anyways, since Aventurine and Argenti are the ones mentioned specifically, I'll probably dive in on them first.
Aventurine is so hard to not feel pity for. Every stolen glance at the marking on his neck makes you feel worse and worse for "rejecting him", knowing he's been throwing signs of wanting more than a friendship quite possibly everywhere and you're most likely ignoring them in hopes of keeping your friendship. It's not like he hasn't quite caught on, either. He knows people's hearts quite well. And where there's opportunity, he seizes it.
It's a bit frustrating for him – just why can't you see he wants more? Or rather, just why aren't you accepting him? You're the first thing on his mind when he wakes up, when he clutches his chip and bets on his life, the last thing on his mind when he goes to sleep. Hell, he's even tried to dream of you, forcefully. But then he realizes.. how easy you are to just push around. He goes ahead with the confession, and it's almost a sadistic kind of pleasure when he sees you even try and stutter out any kind of a rejection when he's leaning in a perfect angle that shows off his little marking (out of all the times he curses it, it seems like this time it's worked in his favor). He watches carefully as your eyes nervously flit to his neck and you shut up immediately for a second, before accepting. And when you do.. he's over the moon! Coddles you, kisses your cheeks, becomes so much more grabby, as his keen eyes watch your discomfort. Well.. you didn't reject him, so this is what you should expect.
Again, the frustration doesn't wear off easily, but just seeing you writhe and try to create distance while he suffocates you in affection far from platonic nature, is so sadistically pleasuring to him. He loves watching you in that state, bending to his will so easily, as he waits for you to snap. But he'll probably find it easier to squeeze water out of a rock than to squeeze a rejection out of you – which is precisely what he exploits. You're not going anywhere, are you? He puts on his best, pleading little eyes that he used to have to put on, shaking, trembling voice, desperate hands that cling to you; all the things he acts out like his life depends on it when he senses even a waver of your hesitation.
Oh, fine.. he hates seeing you so queasy almost all the time, so he'll give you a reprieve from time to time. Plans and schedules things you used to do "back when you were friends" (he emphasizes this – you don't think you can just ignore everything, right?), and makes sure to at least crack a few smiles and giggles from you. Of course.. his hand is still loosely hanging around your waist, pecks you on the lips from time to time, just as a small reminder of what you guys really are now.
Argenti on the other hand, has no awareness of your discomfort at all.
He's like a huge dog, the way he's so happy about you accepting his confession and doesn't even stop to think afterwards just why you were so hesitant during it.
Constantly praises you, and it's not soon before it gets to a more intimate nature. He wants to do all the romantic things – kissing under the rain, protecting you from something, twirling you in the air and then kissing you again after putting you down, telling everyone proudly that you two are a couple, buying more and more "romantic" gifts that turn more intimate sooner or later. You have no way out of this without completely ruining everything.
It's.. almost painful the way he doesn't realise. At some point your discomfort probably gets so.. obvious, but he just shrugs it off; perhaps he hasn't been paying you enough attention? Or you're just too shy to ask something of him? Oh, how sweet! How adorable! He thinks. He simply falls deeper and deeper into this delusion, stringing you along and stretching your patience thin. Unfortunately, unlike Aventurine, you can't find most, if any bits of the things you both used to do as platonic companions in the relationship you have with Argenti. He's just a full-blown romantic who wants to do only that. It makes you even more queasy when people look at you in pity, if they realize just what happened between you two.
You can't back out, even if you tried. If you somehow manage to find a way to squeeze out a rejection, or have any kind of a reservation about things getting more intimate/romantic stuff, he's so devastated. Did he do something wrong? Perhaps he's not as experienced as you wanted him to be? Or you're not satisfied with some of the things he's said? Don't fret, he's right on it! Constantly holding you so close you're afraid your bones will break, whispering incessant praises into your ear that slowly spiral into affirmations that you belong to him, spoiled rotten with everything you want; yet, even then.. you can't shake off the intention they were given in. Not when you're suffocated by it.
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andivmg · 3 months
Text
I know he already deleted his tweet, but I do feel the need to touch base on a few things:
Firstly, I didn’t give Luke permission to post what he did. I don’t believe it was necessary to identify Dream in this conversation, because that is private drama but since Luke has so graciously name-dropped him, I can confirm that we were involved at one point and that when I confided in him about that night, he told me to keep quiet about it. I don’t want to go into the details that Luke shared because he has no idea what happened between Dream and I. Also, I don’t believe they are public concerns so I will leave it at that.
Please do not let his pitiful attempt at deflection distract you from the fact that he admitted to having sex with me when I was blackout drunk. He might have skillfully downplayed it and apologized for “any damage [he] may have caused”, but he still admitted it. He also vividly described intimate details about me without my consent, which felt extremely violating.
This includes:
How I “initiated” sex while I was blacked out, an experience I have no recollection of and no way of verifying, while at the same time implying that we were both in the same state of consciousness.
Implying that I regularly sleep with little clothes on in order to frame my confusion the following morning as trivial. 
Details about exchanging private photos with a third party before I even met him.
Speculations and details about Dream and I that he has no way of knowing. Any non-platonic involvement happened either when we were on a break or after our relationship ended.
Again, he shared all of this information WITHOUT my consent. He didn’t attempt to contact me to ask if it was okay to share this or even inform me he was doing it.
Consent and boundaries are concepts he and the people he chose to surround himself with seem to struggle with. I really hope this is the last time I have to talk about him publicly but with his constant yapping I fear I do not know. Don’t let this distract you from Caiti, Lexie, Shelby, and all other victims that have spoken out against these cretins.
Okay bye
-Andi
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cartierre · 10 months
Text
SINCE WAY BACK | ln4
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SOCIAL MEDIA!AU lando norris x fem!black!producer!reader (fc: alexis carrington)
side note: drake is aged up in this because i want y/n to be born around 2000/2001 but that would mean drake was 14/15 when he became a dad... so he's just a few years older here to make it more believable okay? great. side note pt2: there are so many long twitter threads used to explain the whole backstory. like, really really long. i didn't know how else to explain everything, i'm sorry.
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♡ liked by champagnepapi, mclaren, octobersveryown and 829,938 others
tagged: mclaren, octobersveryown
f1 BREAKING: October's Very Own (OVO) joins the McLaren team as their new primary sponsor for the 2023 season.
#F1 #Formula1 #McLaren
view all 5,328 comments
user1 what the fuck is drake doing here
user2 i'm actually so gagged like what is happening why is drake invested in f1 all of a sudden
user3 this is such an odd pairing? drake and zak brown together feels like a fever dream
user4 drake joining f1 as a sponsor was definitely not on my 2023 bingo card
user5 caitlyn jenner buying a whole w series team is less surprising than whatever this is
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♡ liked by yourusername, champagnepapi, danielricciardo and 187,385 others
lando.jpg adonis is teaching me how to play basketball because otherwise he "cannot accept me" i've been humbled by a 5 year old
view all 483 comments
user6 is that the girl he might or might not be dating ⤷ user7 i need to know otherwise i might die (i won't but the suspense is killing me)
user8 WHO IS THAT GIRL LANDO
user9 is this you trying to soft launch or is she just a platonic friend?
user10 "fans" going insane because they can't handle the thought of lando having female friends as well
user11 he's not even tagging anyone omg now i have to scroll through all the people he follows. lando is not making my job easy
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(private account)
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♡ liked by centralcee, jorjasmith_, landonorris and 637 others
y/n_graham why am i trending on twitter and why is everyone uncovering my childhood
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landonorris i think this is my fault ⤷ y/n_graham you and your jpg ⤷ landonorris my camera lense is just so mesmerised by your beauty ⤷ y/n_graham your compliments won't get you out of trouble
centralcee i'm literally getting dms asking about you ⤷ y/n_graham i woke up to 15,000 people trying to follow me
jorjasmith_ lando's fans are literally fbi agents ⤷ y/n_graham i'm making so many backup files of my music projects because i'm scared someone will hack into my laptop now
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f1wags Y/N Graham, daughter of Canadian rapper Drake, was photographed by a fan outside the venue in Greece where Lando Norris, her rumoured boyfriend, was playing this weekend. None of the two have confirmed nor deniend the relationship allegations that have been going around for a few months now. An inside source, which attended the party, revealed how the two behaved very intimate with each other.
view all 5,394 comments
user12 girl it's been nearly four months since the rumours started... can one of them just please either confirm or deny them?
user13 at this point i'm just over the whole drama. let them have their privacy i guess
user14 this drama is juicier than when the whole oscar-alpine-mclaren fiasco happened
user15 i'm this close to ripping my hair out why is this rumour been going on for AGES i just want a simple statement already
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♡ liked by y/n_graham, champagnepapi, danielricciardo and 374,947 others
tagged: y/n_graham, champagnepapi
lando.jpg bonding family time, got to support the father in law ;)
view all 9,294 comments
user16 EXCUSE ME WDYM FATHER IN LAW? is this a joke or real ⤷ y/n_graham we're not married, don't worry ⤷ user17 OMG Y/N MADE HER ACCOUNT PUBLIC JUST NOW
champagnepapi i like the sound of "father in law" ⤷ lando.jpeg i know you would ⤷ y/n_graham no no no
user18 okay from what i've gathered drake and lando are on good terms ⤷ user19 bet that's why drake sponsored mclaren lmao ⤷ y/n_graham no but deadass
user20 y/n fighting for her life in the comments lmaoooo ⤷ y/n_graham in the trenches
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uncommon-etc · 2 years
Text
Important distinction for Sandman fans who’ve only watched the show...
Morpheus in the comics:
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- 100% dtf
- Nada fell for him so fast she saw him in a dream once and was prepared to give up her kingdom and break the laws of the universe for him, Calliope provides a detailed and totally unprompted description of how of all her many lovers he was the best, Alianora’s very much dead but still thirsting for him, Thessaly hated him at first but very much still wanted to tap that, has such power over the collective unconscious of all sentient beings that he once got laid and gave every conscious lifeform the same sex-dream
- Can change his entire appearance at will to better his chances
- of all the endless, has only ever been out-hoed by Desire
Morpheus in the show:
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- Has clearly never known the touch of a woman in his life
- Divorced
- Permanently looks like an 80s twink with full guy-liner or a bedraggled wet cat
- Divorced.
And let me tell you, as someone who grew up rooting for the trainwreck male-leads in nordic crime dramas and thus likes her men as pathetic as possible, I am loving the direction they’re going in. I guess Neil Gaiman has been immersed in fandom long enough to know how to give the people exactly what they want.
(Edit) This got a few more reblogs than I thought and I am very much here for some of the tags, so I just thought I’d add as a caveat; I absolutely ship Dreamling, however, I’m more than willing to believe it’s possible for two guys to have a centuries-old queer platonic relationship where they’ve never done anything more intimate than hold hands. And yes, Tom Sturridge was perfect for the role due to his inexplicable ability to have amazing chemistry with anyone on screen (even if they’re playing his immortal siblings) but also manage to seem asexual af, we need more like him.
Disclaimer: this post has no intention of slut-shaming anyone, least of all Morpheus, it’s merely an appreciation of the discrepancy between his many romantic sub-plots in the comics and his obvious lack of a prominent love-interest in the show. But to those claiming there were only six women in the comics; yes, six that we know of and are explicitly shown. Others are alluded to, or are you calling Mervyn a liar? 
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jenosbliss · 5 months
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Can I request nct dream reactions to being on the kiss cam with reader, can be established relationship but also friends to lovers?
🍶 ⌇ nct dream ! reaction to kiss cam
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pairing. gn!reader x nctdream | genre. fluff | wc. 1.3k | warnings. none
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MARK. as your friend
You were Mark’s friend, just like how Chenle was his friend, or Jaemin or Jeno or- but for you he wasn’t just a friend because friends love each other platonically not romantically.
For you it was anything but platonic. In simpler words you had the biggest crush on Mark and always gave him hints but he was just too oblivious.
During the match Mark sat between you and Chenle, happily enjoying the game paying no attention to the kiss cam. It wasn’t until everyone around him started cheering that he noticed the cam. Laughing he commented “How could they think of us as a couple?”
Well… he said that to Chenle which made both you and Chenle facepalm yourselves. Like how could someone be this oblivious? Therefore having enough you pulled him towards you, making his eyes go wide as you kissed him deeply making his cheeks burning red. Mark would kiss you back with the same passion as you. “Dude you like me too?”
RENJUN. as your boyfriend
The moment Renjun heard the announcement about the beginning of the kiss cam he got tensed. What if you both end up on it? Would he have to kiss you in front of the whole stadium? No way, Renjun isn’t the PDA guy.
Therefore he engages you in a conversation and doesn’t let you even watch the screen of the kiss cam and let’s say he successfully dodged it the first time. Renjun didn’t even let you notice the booing of the people around you.
But the camera had other intentions. He panned the camera on you both once again and this time the audience made sure both of you noticed. Renjun this time just stood up grinning widely and kissed his glass of coke making everyone boo at him again.
“Why didn’t you kiss me?” you asked. “It’ll be awkward, you know, in front of all these people.” He knew you felt bad about his actions and Renjun somewhat regretted them too. So the next time you appeared on the kiss cam, he mustered up the courage and with rosy pink cheeks he finally leaned in to press a soft lasting kiss on your lips making you blush as well. “I love you.”
JENO. as your friend
The moment he spots himself on the kiss cam with you he’ll let out a small chuckle while crossing his arms to indicate he can’t kiss you. Boy is already going crazy at the possibility of kissing you and he wants to but the thought of making things awkward stops him.
Jaemin beside him along with the others shouts ‘kiss! kiss!’ trying to push his friend into confessing his feelings but all this only leads Jeno to place a soft kiss on your cheeks which may have unleashed a swarm of butterflies in both of your stomachs but left everyone around you booing.
“Are you for real?!” Jaemin scoffed at his friend’s gentlemanly action which even left Jeno a bit disappointed and thinking only if I had a bit more courage… Maybe the cameraman heard his silent prayer and zoomed the camera on both of you again. This time Jeno gathered himself and asked “Can I kiss you?”
The moment you nodded your head he softly brushed his lips with yours for a few seconds before breaking away to the cheers of everyone around you and ending the sweet moment with a whisper of “Let’s do it properly later.”
HAECHAN. as your boyfriend
His determination to be on the kiss cam began when you jokingly sent him a reel about one out of hundreds of reels you send him on a daily basis. Kiss cams started appearing everywhere for him, instagram, YouTube, twitter… “THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!”
So it’s better to say he’s buying basketball match tickets to be on the kiss cam with you. It’s a part of his bucket list now. Dude has been recklessly buying the tickets for every game this season and will continue to until he comes on it.
He would be restless throughout the game waiting for the kiss cam and when it started he would try anything and everything to get the attention of the cameraman, like suddenly being too touchy with you or holding hands and waving.
And the moment you both appear on the cam boy would literally pounce at you, would kiss you so passionately, moving his leg to your lap and pulling you towards him. “This would definitely land on the Best Kiss Cams Compilation.” he smirked, wiping his lips and breathless “Woah”
JAEMIN. as your boyfriend
When he noticed himself on the kiss cam with you he would just smile brightly, shaking his head a bit as he is amused by the situation.
Jaemin then would slightly nudge you in the shoulder to get your attention, it seems like you still haven’t noticed the kiss cam. But when you do you become all nervous and shy, avoiding eye contact with him.
He would notice your nervousness and hesitation and ask “Are you comfortable with me kissing you?” You knew Jaemin loves PDA and you do too, but kissing in front of all these strangers made it a little awkward. But how can you say no to him?
When you nod in a yes, he would gently place his hands on your cheeks and lean in to place an even delicate kiss on your lips. Jaemin would tilt his head in such a way that your kiss won’t be visible to everyone, so you don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. “You know you look so cute while blushing.”
CHENLE. as your best friend
Chenle came to the basketball match with only one goal, to focus on the match and enjoy it.
But the moment his eyes fell on the kiss cam which captured you a sense of thrill and warmth filled his chest. He would have ignored the cam but who was he to miss a chance of kissing you. He just had the biggest crush on you.
Boy was so occupied in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice that the cam zoomed in on you, him and Jisung. You were sitting between both of them, therefore they had equal opportunities to kiss you. Chenle only focused on you and didn't notice Jisung on the screen as he just shrugged his shoulders inching closer to you “Don’t worry I’ll do it.”
But the moment he saw Jisung on the screen, both of you laughing at the situation, he got nervous… What if you kissed Jisung instead? Therefore he pulled you by arm and placed his other hand behind your neck, kissing you feverishly leaving everyone laughing at his antics, Jisung shaking his head and you in disbelief. “I like you and even the thought of you and Jisung made me lose my mind… will you be my girlfriend?”
JISUNG. as your boyfriend
Your relationship was in the blooming stage when one day Jisung returned with 2 tickets for a baseball match. It’s only been a few weeks (more like two and a half weeks) and watching a baseball match was the perfect date to share sweet memories.
The moment the announcer announced the beginning of the kiss cam Jisung became nervous thinking what if you both appear on the cam? Will he have his first kiss with you in front of thousands of random strangers? Will you be comfortable? Will it make things awkward?
And when you guys did appear on the screen his panic skyrocketed through the roof. His face burning red he would ask you “Do you want to do it?” an awkward smile plastered on his lips, fidgeting his fingers, heavy breathing and when you say yes he would become even more nervous, performance pressure some might say.
Leaning awkwardly with claps and hoots all around you he would softly place his lips on yours, hands holding yours, deep red adorning his cheeks and eyes closed. But the moment he kissed you every worry and nervousness of his would vanish and all he could think about was the feeling of your soft lips on his and he drowned in this feeling, in you. “I’ll remember this forever.”
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masterlist. nct dream | nct 127 | wayv navigaation.
a/n. thank you anon for requesting this reaction and i’m really sorry for the delay in posting :(
727 notes · View notes
bxtchycaprisun · 7 months
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let it be me | a. anderson ONE-SHOT
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summary: you’d been avoiding your best friend for weeks, and she was determined to figure out what was wrong. she never would have guessed your absence was due to your repressed romantic feelings, which she also happened to share.
notes: fem!reader, bsf!abby, softdom!abby, porn w/ a plot, mutual pining, friends to lovers, angst but in a fluffy way, SMUT, fingering (both receiving), pussy eating (r!receiving), thigh riding, dirty talk, lots of pet names, i think that’s it? 
a/n: i know this isn’t obstinate, but it’s wlw season and i’m WOMANLESS, so i needed to write some smut.
MDNI!!! sexual content. comment if you want to be added to my tag list
(named after the ray lamontagne song)
you and abby never fought.
attached at the hip from the start of elementary school, the two of you were never seen without each other. and as new friend groups came and left, you and abby always stayed inseparable.
you were so close that she’d even followed you out of state to your dream university after you’d graduated high school.
despite the feelings that emerged in your early teen years when abby had grown taller, and the impact of her various high school sports was clear on her toned arms, you never dared to express your changing perspective of her.
other than some consistent cuddling most friends would consider crossing a boundary, the lines of your friendship never thought to cross between platonic and romantic. you figured that if she were to ever return your feelings, she would have by now.
and even though you two were only friends, in a way, she was yours, and you were hers.
or at least, that’s how you saw it.
that was until you saw her out with angela, her chem partner who you’d heard her complain about dozens of times, a girl you thought she hated. and they were drinking coffee and eating pastries at the east campus cafe, you and abby’s cafe.
and though you knew your perception of your relationship was nothing but a fantasy, it almost felt like a betrayal to see her like that with someone else. but of course, you couldn’t actually be mad at her for it, nor would you explain what was making you so upset.
so you did the one thing you thought was logical, you avoided her.
knowing that she would see right through you from the beginning, and demand that you tell her what was wrong, you tried to be strategic about it.
but you couldn’t a thing past your best friend, the girl who knew you like the back to your hand.
and you had no idea what you were in for if you continued your fit.
it had been two weeks since you sent abby the text, and now, as she laid belly down on her crammed dorm bed, she was rereading it.
y/n: oh my god abs, i’ve got the worst week coming up everrr. hannah scheduled me like double the hours i’ve asked for and i’ve got two exams! fmlllll
abby: damn, i’m sorry bun. still room for me in that schedule of yours?
y/n: you know it abby. text you later, off to work
the conversation didn’t worry abby much initially. but looking back on it, she saw it in a different light.
you didn’t make time for her. and she was determined to know why.
abby sat up in her bed, furrowing her brows as she remembered the date. it was a wednesday.
she opened back up her texts, quickly typing out her message.
abby: what time you coming over tonight? it’s october, so we can officially make our movie nights halloween dedicated :)
she pursed her lips worriedly as she awaited your response. she had been shot down daily over the last couple of weeks, always given the same excuse. work, exams, stomach flu, etc.
abby knew something was up, she just needed one final confirmation.
y/n: shit, i totally forgot! i promised i’d take my coworkers closing shift since she opened for me. next wednesday i promise!
abby felt her heart sink, the situation becoming all too real and unavoidable. you were angry at her, and she didn’t have a clue why.
she scrambled out a message, quickly pressing send and biting the inside of her cheek as she watched the unchanging screen.
abby: are you mad at me? please tell me what i did, and i’ll fix it
she watches with a tight chest as the bubble of your response appears and disappears. and as ten minutes pass with no text back, she throws her phone down on the bed, groaning into her hands.
if it had been anyone else, she’d assume you were just busy at work. but this was you.
abby sprung up from the bed, throwing on a jacket and slipping her feet swiftly into her beat up sneakers. the sneakers you’d bought her for her 16th birthday.
she swung open the door, grabbing her things and moving swiftly down the stairs and out her dorm hall. she tucked her hands under her arms, pulling her hoodie over her head as she walked through the breezy fall air.
she rounded the familiar block and pushed into the entrance of your dorms.
and before she could think twice, she brought her fist up to your door, banging loudly with her other hand stuffed in her pocket.
“open the door!” she says sternly, already hearing your movement in the dorm.
you pull the door open with a displeased grunt, but as you recognize the rosy cheeked girl in front of you, your eyes widen.
“a-abby?” you stutter, staring up at her with a guilty expression.
she stares at you, taking in your loose sweats and braless tank. you weren’t at work, and you certainly weren’t getting ready.
after a long pause, the reality of the situation setting in, abby speaks up.
“you lied.” she murmurs, her voice low.
you cast your gaze down, stepping back to let her in silently. you knew you weren’t gonna get out of this one.
she shoves her way into your room, shutting the door loudly and pulling her hood off to look down at you disapprovingly.
“so,” she huffs, throwing her arms up and crossing them against her chest. “are you gonna tell me what’s going on with you?”
you sigh, pinching your temples. “nothings… nothings going on i just-” you begin before being cut off abruptly.
“nothings going on?” she repeats desperately, “y/n, you’ve avoided me for weeks!”
“i- i haven’t avoided you,” you reply breathlessly, stepping forward. “i’ve been really busy.”
“oh right, busy,” she scoffs, “just like how you’re so busy right now?”
you bow your head silently, avoiding her burning gaze. “i- i can explain..” you say slowly, although you sure as hell didn’t want to.
“great!” she snaps, “good, let’s hear it.” she shifts her weight back and forth on her legs, her figure now trembling with anger and desperation.
you look up at her with pleading eyes, trying to find away to avoid this conversation if you had any hope of keeping your friendship the same.
you were so disappointed with yourself you felt like you could cry. for years you’d stuffed your feelings down, terrified not just of rejection but of your own selfishness.
abby was the perfect friend, she was everything you could ask for and more, and yet your inconsiderate mind desired more. and when she didn’t give that to you, you pushed her away.
abby watched your expressions alter, staring at you with her mouth agape. “well?” she asks in a final, breathless plea.
when she doesn’t get a response, her mind jumps to the only conclusion she could think of.
“you’re… you’re seeing someone?” she whispers, her face falling.
your expression twists in confusion and frustration at her accusation, shaking your head fervently. “what? what are you talking about?”
“you are, aren’t you?” she presses on, taking a step forward.
you roll your eyes at the irony of her words. “no okay, i’m not seeing anyone,” you huff, the attitude clear in your voice. “you’re the one that’s seeing someone,” you murmur, back turned to your best friend. your eyes widen at your own words, cursing yourself for letting that slip.
you hear abby’s breath falter behind you. “what?” she asks, voice somewhat amused which annoyed the hell out of you. “did you say i’m seeing someone?”
despite knowing how childish you were being, you narrow your eyes, continuing on with your antics.
“well you are, aren’t you?” you say with a pout, tilting you chin up at her.
at this, abby laughs at you. “y/n… are you talking about angela?” she says with a smirk. “i’ve been trying to tell you about that, so much happened!” she exclaims and you nearly feel like breaking down then and there.
your expression drops, lips curling into a proper frown as you turn away from her once again. she stutters as she sees your change in demeanor.
“yeah right, i’d just love to hear all about angela,” you mutter, unable to meet her piercing blue eyes.
“no no.. it was bad, okay, it was really bad,” she chuckles, rushing over to grab your arms and turn you to face her. but as she takes in your distressed expression, abby’s mouth hangs open, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place in her mind.
“hey, hey, what is it?” she cooes, her voice softened as she brings her hand to cup the side of your face, stroking your cheek.
when you don’t respond once again, her back straightens, and she drops her hands from your skin, staring down at you in contemplation.
“you’re… you’re jealous,” she says quietly, her words laced with certainty.
you shake your head, stepping back from her with worry as she figured it out. “no, why the hell would i be jealous?” you heave, but abby doesn’t let you get away.
“because you like me,” she asserts once again, hands going for your wrists as she reaches out to you.
“hey, look at me, hey..” she brings her face close to yours, lowering to your height. your arms go limp in defeat as she holds you still, grabbing your chin gently to make you look at her.
as she studies your face, the way your eyes crease with uncertainty, she knows.
“you do..” she whispers.
the only thing you can do is drop your head in shame, praying silently that she would agree to just forget this conversation completely and return to your blissful friendship.
your murmur is nearly inaudible as a small “i’m sorry,” passes through your lips.
abby inhales sharply, taking your cheeks into your hands and lifting your head to face hers in a quick motion.
“oh sweet girl… don’t be sorry..” she breathes, brushing her thumb over your bottom lip.
she stares at you for a moment, chest heaving with her uneven breathes, contemplating the same action she’d been dreaming of for years. the action she never thought she’d get the opportunity of doing.
and just as your eyes meet hers, they flutter shut to the feeling of her lips pressing against yours.
you sigh against her, the tension easing from your muscles as she guides you gently against the door, running her hands desperately, yet hesitantly over your arms and shoulders.
the touch, the way her lips gently parted yours, her tongue rolling into your mouth with a soft hum, it was foreign, yet so painfully familiar.
this was abby. your abby. the girl who had been attached to your hip for a decade. the girl you had convinced yourself never to kiss and never confess to out of fear of ruining your perfect friendship.
and you couldn’t be happier as she did it for you.
you bring your arms around her broad shoulders, pulling her against you as your noses clashed together in a desperate kiss, her hands getting rougher and more curious, and so do yours. you tug her hoodie up over her head, touching her chilled skin from the cool fall air outside.
you feel her calloused palm reach below your shirt, grazing the soft skin on your belly, inching upward to your unclothed breast. you feel her hand suddenly stop, her mouth pulling away from yours.
“abby-” you call out her name in a slight moan, digging your fingers into her hair and tugging on her braid. you knew what she was thinking. you knew she thought she was rushing things, but you didn’t care. you’d waited so long.
“i know.. i know..” she nods, eyes nearly shut as she peers down at you, leaning in again to kiss you, slowing her rhythm and taking her time with you.
you whine into her mouth, brows furrowing as you grabbed her hand, trying to pull it towards your chest once again, and she chuckles against your lips.
“so needy,” she smiles, but with how shaky her voice is, she sounds almost hypocritical.
“neglected you for so long, huh?” she grins, kissing the corner of your mouth gently.
even though abby hadn’t had many relationships or sexual partners, mostly thanks to her hopeless pining towards you, she was undeniably more experienced than you.
you could feel the hesitance in her fingertips, the uncertainty in her eyes. knowing she didn’t want to rush you, you grab her cheek, pulling her lips away to speak.
“then don’t make me wait any longer,” you whisper, eyes looking up at her pleadingly as your thighs squeezed together, desperately trying to relieve the ache between your legs.
abby smiles, not missing a beat to crash her lips to yours once again, and this time her hand travels up your chest without hesitation. you whine as you feel her thumb brush over your nipple, and arch your back against the wall.
she dips her head down to your neck, peppering kisses along your throat, and sucking soft marks onto your skin. she groans as she hears your quiet moans, feeling like she could cum on the spot. she’d envisioned how you would sound so many times, but to actually hear it was so much better.
“you’re so fucking pretty, you know that?” she hums, large palms needing your tits as she pushes your legs apart with her knee, and slots her thigh in between them. “sound so fucking pretty”
your face is red and hot as you let out a quiet whimper in response, grabbing on to her toned stomach to pull her closer. as you feel the friction of her muscular thigh against your clothed cunt, you absentmindedly grind yourself against her.
“there you go, sweetheart,” abby praises you, hands leaving your tits to hold onto your hips. she gently guides you against her propped leg, and leaves small love bites below your ear as she whispers to you. “tell me if we’re going too fast, okay? you tell me.”
you shake your head, hips picking up their rhythm as you try to chase that sensation that slowly builds in your cunt. “not too fast, abs. i want more, please?”
normally, you would care about sounding too desperate, but since this was abby, you couldn’t hold back. even in this unfamiliar situation, you were comfortable with her. and even more importantly, you needed her so bad.
“you want more, huh baby?” she cooes, smiling ear to ear as she helps you keep up your pace. suddenly, her hands push your hips back off of her, and you whine in disappointment. before you can protest the loss of contact, she brings her hands to the hem of your tank top, pulling it off your chest in a swift motion.
her palms return to your waist, guiding you quickly against your small bed, her lips instantly connected with yours once again. she pushes you gently down, situating herself between your legs, and hooking a finger at the hem of your sweatpants.
the fabric is tugged down to your ankles in seconds, and she tosses the pants across the room with a shit eating grin. you can’t help but look up and giggle at her as she crawls on the bed to meet you, kissing up your stomach and on the fat of your chest.
“whatcha laughing about, pretty girl?” abby smirks as she sucks hickeys onto your skin. she tried her best to sound stern, but she couldn’t help but melt as she heard your laugh.
“nothing, this is just weird,” you can’t help but admit with blushed cheeks. “i just… never imagined we would be doing this..”
“oh?” abby says with faux surprise, “so you’re telling me… you didn’t imagine me doing this?” she asks mischievously as she takes on of your nipples into her mouth, sucking gently.
you’re breathing falters and you let out a small gasp, handing falling the the back of her head as she runs her tongue over your hardening nipple. “n-no i mean… i imagined it… just didn’t think we actually ever would.”
abby smiles against your skin, kissing her way down your stomach and settling between your thighs. “what would you imagine, bun?” she asks teasingly as she kisses just above your underwear. “would you picture me doing this to you? dream about my mouth on your cunt?”
with that statement, abby drops in between your legs, pressing her face against your panties and inhaling dirtily. she shakes her nose against your clothed pussy, nudging your clit deliciously. you cry out into your hand, instantly squirming from her touch.
you felt her start to kitten lick your clint through the fabric, causing you to let out an deep whine. you lift your head with hazy eyes, listening to her soft growls against you, which only made your stomach whir.
“abby pl-ease,” you say brokenly, desperately bucking your hips upward to chase the friction you needed, “stop teasing me…”
“m’not teasing…” she mumbles, her voice low as she runs her tongue flat against your underwear, applying pressure to your folds.
“a-ah, please!” you moan, feeling your cunt gush with more arousal.
“you are teasing me, you are-” you begin your protest when she suddenly yanks your panties down from your hips, and before you can process it, her hot mouth is licking a stripe from your hole to your clit.
you release a borderline pornographic moan at the sensation, eyes rolling to the back of your head. she doesn’t waist any time to start sucking at your clit with vigor, and alternating to lap up your juices.
you’re nearly shaking at this point, your chest heaving with every breath and hips twitching from every touch she gives you.
“fuck- i love the way you taste bun…” abby moans into your pussy, her hands keeping a bruising grip on your waist. “knew you’d taste good.. so fucking good…”
she already sounds pussy drunk as she flattens her tongue against your clit, helping you grind your hips against her mouth however you wanted. you continuously tried to close your legs around her head, completely overwhelmed by how good she was fucking you, but each time her palm would catch your leg, only pulling you further apart.
“gotta stop squirming, baby,” abby would growl as your thighs continued to tremble and your arms would thrash around aimlessly. you respond with an apologetic whine, already too cloudy minded to form words.
when you continue to move in her grip, she finally pushes your knees against your chest, keeping you firmly pinned with your cunt fully exposed for her.
“look at that…” abby cooes as she gives your pussy a small slap before dipping her mouth back down to your hole, lapping you up quickly.
“how many fingers you want, sweet girl?” she breaks away from your cunt to ask you breathlessly, before returning to suck at your clit.
you whimper from the added pressure of the position, head falling weakly against the pillow as you tried to clear your thoughts.
“ngh.. don’t know… o-one..?” you manage to muster, but you can’t already feel yourself tipping over the edge. anything abby gave you, you would take.
“hmm…” abby smiles against your pussy, keeping your legs pushed up with one hand while bringing the other down to slide through your folds.
you groan as you feel the tips of her fingers prodding at your hole, unconsciously pushing yourself against them. “we can do two…” she whisper as she slowly inserts her middle and ring finger into your pussy, hissing through her teeth as she feels you clench around her.
“relax baby… it’s only me,” she comforts you as she curls her fingers experimentally inside of you. you let out a soft cry, back arching against your mattress as she explores your insides.
abby watches your expression carefully, her tongue giving your clit small, stimulating licks as she searched for the spot that made you scream.
when she felt the spongy area deep in your core, and watched as you jolted against her fingers, panting out a moan, she knew she found it. she gave you one last lick, collecting the juices that leaked around her fingers on her tongue, she crawled up to your face with her fingers still deep inside of you.
her strokes were slow and gentle at first, teasing that spot with an almost unbearable pace. her eyes met yours and she positioned herself above you, but her pupils were darkened.
“i want to go harder,” she whispers, her voice low and full of lust. “can i do that, bun, can i go harder?”
you nod and quickly, grabbing onto her neck and pulling her lips against yours, moaning at the taste of yourself on her tongue. “please… so close..”
she didn’t need to hear another word before her pace turned from gentle to hammering. the air is punched out of you as she drills her fingers into your pussy, curling upward and hitting that spot with every thrust.
you were crying and moaning out her name, grabbing onto anything you could as she continued her rough assault on your hole. obscene squelches from your pussy fill the room, and your face blooms from embarrassment.
abby kisses you sweetly, in sharp contrast to the brutal pace of her fingers. you wrap your arms around her, hoping for a bit of her comfort to ground you in this moment. she immediately recognizes your need, bringing her forehead against yours as she fingered you.
“that feel good baby? yeah?” she whispers, her voice sultry as her palm rubs perfectly against your clit.
“m’gonna cum.. abby.. oh my god,” you cry out, fingernails digging into her back without even realizing. she clenched her teeth, the stinging pain only enhancing her desperation.
“that’s it sweet girl..” she mumbles, her pace unbreaking. “cum on my fucking fingers- let it out.”
without missing a beat, you feel your hearing practically go out, white hot pleasure coursing through your body as your orgasm crashes down on you. you shake, mouth open in a silent moan as you ride out your high, abby’s fingers never ceasing. your final sound comes out in a shattered moan, your eyes rolled back as you grind your hips into her fingers, feeling the best high of your life.
“good girl…” abby praises, her fingers slowing down even so slightly as she watches your expression.
“good. fucking. girl.” she finishes, her pace coming to a stop as she feels you tense up from the overstimulation.
you fall against the mattress, your face completely red from your post-orgasm, and your chest heaving with every breath. abby takes her fingers out of you, shoving them into her mouth and licking them clean.
you watch her in amazement as she lowers down to your face, pressing her lips against yours gingerly. you smile against her, pulling her closer by your shoulders until she practically falling on top of you.
“y/n,” abby giggles, trying to remain propped up from her elbows. “i’m gonna crush you!”
“don’t care,” you shake your head with a wide grin.
she smiles, kissing you again, but this time with a little bit more desperation. her tongue slips past your lips, massaging the inside of your mouth.
you tug on the waist band of her sweats, looking up at her with a pout. “take ‘em off,” you whine.
abby smirks at your plea, shaking her head. “so bossy,” she mumbles, pulling down her pants and tossing them aside. you instantly spring up on your knees, smashing your lips against hers.
abby flinches a bit, startled by how quickly your fingers find their way to the waistband of her boxers. you yank them down her muscular thighs, diving your much smaller fingers between her folds as you kiss her sweetly.
“woah- baby,” abby breathes, her voice almost failing her as she grabs onto your wrist. “what’re you doing?”
“returning the favor, silly,” you grumble against her lips, smiling as you feel just how wet she is. “i think i got you a little excited,” you giggle.
“no.” abby shakes her head firmly, “you’re not the one that gets to tease me.” she tries to sound stern, but the shake in her voice didn’t go unnoticed.
it wasn’t often that abby was on the receiving side. but staring down at you, with your eyes blown wide staring at her dripping cunt, she couldn’t help but grow just as desperate. she needed this too.
you palm her aching pussy, watching in awe as she bucked her hips against you, bringing her hands up to clutch the headboard. you hold your breath to surpress your own moans at the sight, wanting to only hear her soft sighs and the dirty sounds of her wetness.
“fuck… yeah like that,” abby groans, head falling back, and her knees trembling as she stays upright for you, not even realizing how she’s furthering spreading her thighs, and grinding into your palm.
she felt herself getting red the moment she realized she was already about to cum. but the pleasure was too consuming, and she was too pent up to feel any embarrassment.
the second you slipped your middle finger into her folds, your thumb instantly finding her clit, she toppled over the edge. she released a strained moan, instantly falling against you. she props herself up on the headboard to keep up her weight, and lets her head fall into your neck. she brings one hand down to cover yours, keeping your palm in place as she practically humps your fingers. she rides out her orgasm in shuddering breathes.
you watch her in shock and awe, remaining silent as she started to come down. she pulls your hand away, burying her face further into your neck with a deep sigh.
“did you just..” you begin, and she could practically hear your smile.
“yes..” she groans, rolling her face towards yours and pressing her lips at the base of your throat.
your grin widens as you stare up at the ceiling, stroking her back carefully. abby lifts her head, and secures her arms around your waist.
in a quick movement, you are rolled on top of her, your legs intertwined. she holds you tight to her chest, kissing the top of your head affectionately. you blush as you feel the stickiness between both your legs.
“we’re a mess,” you say softly, smiling up at her.
“leave it for now,” she whispers, fingers tracing shapes on your bare back. “wanna stay like this for a minute.”
you lay there in silence, listening to each others slowing breaths. and in that moment, you knew this was what it was supposed to be all along.
abby’s words come out in a content hum, her fingers affectionately pinching at the soft fat below your ass.
“sorry for making you wait so long, sweet girl.”
“you’re forgiven.”
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thenerdywriter · 5 days
Text
the kiss (aka that one scene) and subsequently—
*spoilers for bridgerton s3*
ahem...this might be a bit indelicate? Let us think about who Colin is, at his core. he is a dreamer. he's sweet, he's kind to a fault, and he's also the Bridgerton brother most likely to have ao3 in the 21st century.
Penelope asks for a kiss, and Colin cannot deny her that. so much of their relationship is evinced by the fact that they cannot deny each other anything, even if it is at the expense of their own well-being. Penelope has never once voiced her feelings for Colin because she is aware that he would never see her in such a light, and mostly because, she does not think that her feelings are his business. In the books and in the show, Penelope has never voiced her crush.
So, when she's facing the very real prospects of remaining a spinster and firmly under the influence of her mother and sister (Prudence, especially, I don't really think Phillipa would be that bad) she makes a choice to ask the love of her life, mind you, the one man she had always felt safe with, to kiss her. She is waving goodbye to the dreams of being married, finding a place of her own in a world where a woman had no value if they were not attached in matrimony to a man. Yes, it seems pathetic, yes, it seems desperate. It is. It is desperate. Penelope is desperate at this moment, and she is reckless, but she is not pathetic. She wants to be kissed, and she asks for it, it is a moment where we see a woman exercise agency for the first time in her life. Feelings are so very rarely black or white, and so is this scene; on one hand, you feel wronged and angry at the fact that Penelope is pleading for a kiss, on the other, you empathize with her situation and where she is coming from. She wants this moment, and who better to ask from, than her best friend? Colin has always, always been there for her, and she has been there for him. They know each other the best, she has had the privilege of being able to love him. She wants love, and she has it in her hands at this moment, a fleeting, transient glimpse into what her life could be if she were someone else. This is the moment when Penelope Featherington's dreams are well and truly shattered.
And that same kiss turns Colin's world on its axis. It is so wonderful to see on screen how the same action can have two entirely opposite, but just as important effects on people. Colin has always loved Penelope. This is not even a discussion. He took action on behalf of her family (on behalf of her, really) when he found out about her cousin's schemes. He gives Cressida the cut direct when she humiliates Penelope in front of him. He seeks her out at every social assembly. He has always looked out for her and has always loved her. But all this is platonic. He has never felt a physical connection with her, because neither of them has had the chance to explore that avenue. Neither Colin nor Penelope are aware of their latent attraction to each other. For Penelope, it is because she has never been allowed to feel a physical connection with anyone, and Colin because he has never thought of pursuing a physical connection with Penelope. It is their kiss that ultimately awakens that connection in Colin, and by connection, Penelope asking Colin for a kiss is what puts the wheels in motion.
Which brings me to the first paragraph. Colin is the sweetest boy in the Bridgerton family (Gregory I love you, but nine children? Get off that woman, immediately). When he realizes that he likes Penelope, and loves her romantically, what does he do? He internalizes it like he does everything else. So much of Colin's character arc, both in the book and in the show is about him internalizing everything. He refuses to voice his own feelings if they make other people uncomfortable, much to the detriment of his own mental health. After being deceived in the first season, he removes himself from London because he cannot bear to stay in the city anymore, not when he is reminded of how naive and stupid he was, every moment. It is also important to realize that Colin has been viewed as the naive, soft-hearted brother, by everyone else. When he gets engaged in season 1, Anthony, his big brother, the example he is supposed to follow, tells him that he should have taken Colin to brothels and accuses him of getting married to have sex. In season two, Penelope, an outsider, is the only person who gives a damn about his thoughts. His own family refuses to listen to him, and what does he do when he returns a second time? He tells them, "I shall not bore you with the details". He knows, no one essentially gives a shit. This is why, when he comes to the knowledge of the full breadth of his feelings for Penelope, he internalizes so hard he dreams of her. And this is not an indelicate dream. He does not dream of taking her in the back of a carriage or on his yellow sheets, he dreams of her returning his feelings. He is yet unaware of the extent of Penelope's feelings toward him, but he knows he should not force his feelings onto her, and that is why he dreams of her.
I could go on and on about why Colin is the best Bridgerton brother (Gregory, nine children) but it will take up a lot of space, so I shall keep it brief: (in the show) Anthony almost marries Edwina, a girl who is what, thirteen(?) twelve (?) years younger than him, a girl who has no safety net outside of her sister and her mother, her sister whom Anthony was in love with, and refused to confront his feelings for. Literally, no one forced Anthony to propose to Edwina, he went down on one knee while being aware of his feelings for her older sister. Kate would have been content with relinquishing her younger sister to a marriage where she loved someone who would forever love another. Imagine if Anthony had married Edwina as he intended. Do you think, for even a second, that he would look at her face and not be reminded of Kate? Not to mention neither of them took action till the very last second, and Edwina, a bystander, was forced to ruin herself. Half the reason why she married abroad is the fact that not a single person in London would have married her (headcanon: she marries the Prince, fuck you, Anthony) when she was very publicly denigrated as the Viscount Bridgerton's cast-off. Yes, the Queen's favor saves Anthony and Kate's marriage from scandal, but it also saves Edwina, it saves her from further public embarrassment and scrutiny by a ton that not only views her as an outsider but also envies her for securing the title of the Season's Diamond. (Book)Benedict forces a woman from a servant class to be his mistress while he searches for the girl he fancied to be the love of his life. I'm sorry, there's no coming back from that. Colin gets angry when he is aware of who Lady Whistledown is, but his anger is not directed at Penelope herself. It is directed at her lack of thought for her own safety. Colin puts Penelope's safety and reputation over everything. In the carriage scene, he steps back as soon as he hears the words "but we are friends" from her mouth; he takes it as a sign, that this is Penelope telling him I don't have feelings for you, and he is happy to respect her wishes. Colin would have never voiced his feelings a second time if she had rebuffed him then, he would have been happy to remove himself from Society and spend his days on the Continent, writing in his journals. So much of both Penelope and Colin is them learning to voice their wants and desires and fuck, it's the most beautiful thing to watch as it comes to life on my screen.
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imshii-kin · 21 days
Text
Good Luck
Chapter # 3 Let Dead Men Tell Tales.
Platonic Yandere Dc x reincarnated Reader
I made this a bit ago so have mercy :,)
Wattpad
Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (You are here), Chapter 4, Chapter 5
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Can't repeat the past?... Why of course you can! - Gatsby
TW - Smoking, Addiction
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Jason tilts his head, confused by Y/n's response. "You don't remember me? Is this some kind of prank?" He frowned, crossing his arms. Y/n nervously shifts under the older man's gaze, "You can ask Bruce, he's the one who brought me here."
Frown deepening, Jason sighs. "Of course, the old man doesn't tell me shit." He grumbled. "So you don't remember me at all?" He asked, and Y/n shakes her head.
"Hm, maybe that's for the best," he muttered under his breath. He ruffles Y/n's hair before turning to leave. "I'm going to have a little talk with Bruce." He said ominously.
Well, that sounds fun.
Watching him leave, Y/n can't help but continue to wonder what her relationship with this family was. Jason and Tim seemed to be somewhat fond of her, and Damien, well he was hard to read but he seemed to know her.
Turning back to the shelves, Y/n realizes that Jason forgot to help her get the book.
"Aw, man..."
──●◎●──
It was late and Y/n (reluctantly) went to Jason's room. She was able to sleep some, waking up only a little bit earlier and not being able to fall back asleep.
"Miss Kent? Are you awake? Bruce wants me to escort you to his office." Alfred's voice drew Y/n out of the book she had snatched from the library. She was awake, she's been awake since 3:00. 
(Why may you ask? I don't know, why are you reading this at 2:00 am hm? Or are you bench-watching some show again?)
Putting the bookmark in, Y/n slides out of bed following Alfred to Bruce's office. Once again, she can't help but admire the beautiful architecture of the mansion. There was a good mix of old Victorian architecture and modernism. They blended well, creating a tasteful style. Paintings were far from few, some looking to be quite old.
"Here we are, Miss. Kent, Master Bruce, and Young Master Richard are waiting for you." Y/n nods, entering the room. Alfred softly shut the door behind her.
"So you can tell blue bird over here, but not me?"
"Jason, please, not right now."
Y/n could feel the tension immediately. In front of her stood Jason and Dick arguing with each other, Bruce was sitting behind a desk trying to calm the massive headache forming.
Dick was wearing a dark blue dress shirt that complimented his deep blue eyes, as well as some dress pants. He was the first to notice Y/n, "Oh! Y/n you're here!" He smiled, his previous frustration gone.
"Uh... yeah." She muttered plainly. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Dick shakes his head, walking over to you. "Nope, we just finished talking," his gaze sharpened, "right Jason?"
Jason's first clenched tightly, glaring at his older brother. "For now."
Dick smiles at Jason for a second before he goes back to looking at Y/n. "Hi Y/n, my name is Richard, but you can call me Dick." He gives you a little wave. "I've been informed you no longer remember anything." His expression dampened, "that must be terrifying for you." He gently patted her hair.
Bruce stands, clearing his throat to get everyone's attention. "I'm sorry for calling you all here so late, but I need you all to be informed about how we will be proceeding for the next month."
──●◎●──
Y/n returns to her room, a somber feeling accompanying her. This was it, wasn't it? She was really stuck in the DC universe. Her chest ached as she remembered her life, a life of a college student, just trying to make it to finals week.
Her friends, her colleagues in that crappy job she hated. Her mother and father who, despite their money situation, supported her dream and helped her get into college. 
Tears well up in Y/n eyes. "I want to go home," she whispered to no one. She wipes her eyes quickly, not wanting to cry, and slips out the book she was reading. 
'Reincarnation of the Soul'
──●◎●──
Dick falls onto his bed with a deep sigh, exhausted by today's travel. Starfire wasn't entirely happy with him up and leaving without much explanation, luckily she was understanding with him.
Y/n... he remembers her when she was just a little kid. He remembers babysitting her and Jon, and her tagging along whenever Jon came over for a sleepover with Damien. 
He remembers when Clark got seriously injured while Louis was away and having to take Y/n in for a few months. She was just the sweetest thing, and she came over so often it was like having another little sister.
Not that she remembers any of that now. Dick frowns, all those years, are just gone. How could something like this happen? It was just awful.
──●◎●──
Jason curses under his breath, that old shit had no right to keep something like this from him. And Dick, that was a prick move he pulled back there. 
Taking a deep break, Jason slips a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. Opening it, he takes one out using his teeth, with a flick of his lighter, a tiny flame danced into existence. He brought the flame to the tip of the cigarette, inhaling deeply as the tobacco ignited with a soft hiss.
As the smoke filled his lungs, Jason closed his eyes, letting the tension of the day evaporate with each exhale. The bitter tang of nicotine lingered on his tongue, a familiar comfort.
He had promised Y/n to stop smoking before the incident. Jason still remembers the look on her face when she first saw him smoking, a small smile on his face as he remembers a seven-year-old Y/n scolding him.
"Master Jay, I'm surprised you're still here." Jason opens his eyes, looking over to the right where Alfred stood, wise as ever. "I suppose the meeting didn't go well?" Alfred inquired making Jason chortle, "What gave that away?"
Alfred shakes his head, "Well, as much as I enjoy your presence at the Manor, I do prefer if you'd not smoke," He points to the window above Jason's head, "Especially right outside a guest's window." Alfred smiled before turning and leaving.
With a resigned sigh, Jason takes the cigarette and drops it to the floor, crushing the butt beneath his heel, extinguishing the last remnants of his temporary sanctuary. 
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Note
hello! if you don't mind i do have a request for poly Fizzmodeus x reader
can you do headcanons of them with a crush on an idol/popstar succubus who's secretly a single parent (to keep the kid safe bc reader knows the public will be more than invasive and will only reveal the kid when they're older)? like reader's hesitant to rlly get into a relationship with the two bc she's afraid of what they think.
a certain anime's been giving me this brainrot for a while and i don't have the skill to properly write this sjjdkdkdkskdk
I didn't focus too much on the succubus part, but I hope this is good.
Fizzarolli x Asmodeus x F!SingleParent!Reader
Fizz is not a great father, but he does try his best, and thats why I love him <3. Hope y'all enjoy!
---------------------------------------------------
• Your tour ended recently, and you already have a new album being planned.
• For anyone else, it's a dream come true.
• For you, well, it's the break you desperately need to see your kid.
• You've been living a double life for a while.
• On one hand, you're a pop star, hiding her face beneath a variety of masks, with hundreds of thousands of adoring fans.
• On the other, you were a mom just looking out for her kid, trying to keep them out of the exhausting and draining world of fame.
• The mask thing was probably one of your best ideas, as it let you actually go out with your child without being accosted by the paparazzi.
• Plus the whole "secretive succubus" act was great for sales and popularity.
• Most of the money goes to your kid. Yeah, they may end up a tad bit spoiled, but you just want them to be happy.
• Plus, you do have the foresight to not make them an asshole.
• You've dealt with enough rich people in your time, and most of them are the exact kind of people you're trying to keep away from your child.
• Although...there are two that are pretty nice.
• You knew Fizzarolli first, both of you hitting Lust's entertainment circuit at the same time.
• You even had a small thing together for a little bit, although it never really grew. It was more platonic than romantic anyways.
• That's not to say that you hadn't considered going further, or that you didn't have some feelings for him, you just chose not to act on it.
• Asmodeus, on the other hand, found you after you had gotten a decent sized following.
• Unlike with Fizz, nothing really happened between you, but you did become good friends.
• He was also kind of hot too.
• When you had gotten back to your home, you were planning on take your kid out to do...something.
• You weren't sure, but it didn't matter, because someone had sent you a message.
• It was from Ozzie, inviting you over for dinner
• Problem is, you had just gotten back, and you really wanted to be with your kid.
• So, you asked if he could make sure that dinner stayed pg-13, which he questioned, but agreed to.
• You had been wanting to tell Asmodeus about you being a parent for a while, you needed to figure out dinner, and you didn't want to leave your child again, so why not kill 3 birds with one stone?
• When you got there, you got a pleasant suprise in the form of Fizzarolli.
• Fizz and Ozzie also had a suprise, the fact you had a kid.
• (I've been trying to leave the kid's age ambiguous, so that y'all can have a bit of freedom with it. If the kid's old enough, they introduce themselves, and if not you do it. Anyways, back to the headcanons.)
• It takes a good couple of minutes to explain everything, but they understand and respect your decision to keep your child out of the limelight.
• The dinner was nice, fancy too. Then again, you weren't expecting anything else.
• There was something odd though, you felt like Fizz and Ozzie were flirting with you.
• Turns out, they were.
• Apparently, both Ozzie and Fizz, who were together already, wanted to invite you into a little polycule relationship.
• And to be honest, you didn't hesitate to say yes.
• As mentioned before, you did have feelings for Fizz, and you did think Asmodeus was hot.
• Plus, you wouldn't mind having some help raising a child.
• Turns out that Ozzie is a pretty good parent.
• Fizz not so much, but he's trying.
• And dear Satan is it amazing to have people doting on you for once.
• Fans are one thing, romantic partners are so, so much better.
• And hey, at least your kid will grow up around some genuinely good people.
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cowgurrrl · 1 year
Text
Sweet Jane
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic Ellie Williams x fem!reader)
Author’s note: this actually ripped my heart out and made me realize why I don’t write angst
Summary: “If I have children, I hope they live quiet lives. No fires for them. No sickness. No breaking news stories. I hope they die of old age, far from the pages of history books.” - oh, to live unremarkably by Trista Mateer [2.3k]
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, talks of child loss (reader has lost a child) teen pregnancy, tumultuous parent/child relationships, references to a sexual relationship but nothing explicit, reader is a badass because I said so, ANGST
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The second you saw her, you knew this was a possibility. You knew it would happen at one point but watched your tongue. You thought it would happen in the middle of a firefight or trying to survive a horde of Infected or some other dangerous situation where you couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth. It doesn't. It happens on a sunny autumn day while walking away from the ravaged Kansas City. She was trying to show off or prove something to Joel when she tried to run forward without warning. It came out as a gasp as you grabbed her backpack and yanked her back before her foot could slip off the ledge of a cliff. Your heart pounded as you gripped her like you were waiting for her to start falling again. She mumbled a quick sorry before you let her go. She didn't try to run forward again after that.
She waits longer than you expected to ask about it. After you set up camp for the night and cook whatever Joel decided, Ellie looks at you and asks, "who's Jane?" Joel's brows furrow at the question, and your chest tightens. “You called me Jane earlier."
"Jane's my daughter." You catch yourself using the present tense, and grief trickles down your spine like an unpleasant cold shower. Saying that she was your daughter sounds wrong. It's been years now, but you can't make yourself switch. She's still your daughter, even if she's gone. You're still her mom. You'll always be her mom.
"Oh," she gapes, and you nod. You can feel Joel's eyes on you, but you don't look at him. If you do, the words will tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You didn't know." You say, shrugging as if she gave you the wrong directions instead of asking about your kid. She doesn't push the subject anymore, and you eat silently until Ellie crawls into her sleeping bag and falls asleep. 
Cicadas' chirps and the fire's crackling fill the space between Joel and you. The stars twinkle as the clouds move in the night sky. It's peaceful. Or it would be, at least, if Joel hadn't been fiddling with his gun for the past twenty minutes. The metal clicking is almost enough to drive you crazy, and you shoot him a look. He freezes and meets your eyes before letting his hands drop.
"Sorry," he says, and you chuckle. He props the gun up next to him and glances around to make sure nothing's decided to sneak close to you. 
"I think we're safe," You say.
"For now."
"Joel Miller, ever the optimist."
"It ain't about being optimistic. It's about being smart."
"Right," you shake your head and look at Ellie sleeping in the corner. Her chest rises and falls steadily as she dreams secret dreams. You smile when she snuggles deeper into her sleeping bag and scrunches her nose. "You think she'll be okay?" You ask, meeting his eyes. 
"Kids seem to handle these things better." 
"Sam was her friend."
"I know." He says. Images of shaky guns, Ellie's screams, and the silence that followed Henry's body hitting the floor replay in your mind in slow motion. You're trying to figure out where it went wrong, when the universe pulled yet another rug out from under you. When you put the two kids to bed, everything was fine, and not even eight hours later, Sam and Henry were dead. How many people will you bury before you get to the Fireflies? 
"I'm tired," you admit softly. You can tell by the faraway look in his eyes that he's in his own head, turning things over to look for new details. He's looking for something he missed. "What're you thinking about?" You ask, snapping him out of it, and he shifts uncomfortably.
"You never told me you had a daughter." He finally says, and you nod. You look down at your bootlaces and untie them, so you don't have to look at him.
"It never came up." 
"Her name was Jane?" He phrases it like he wasn't listening the first time, but you know he's trying to get you to open up about her.
"Jane Eloise," saying her full name scratches at an unhealed wound deep in your stomach. You think about all the times you shouted those names across the apartment to her. You were always late for school, late for a birthday party, and late for appointments. You're almost positive she would've been late to her own birth if you hadn't been induced. Rushing was the way you lived your life for that decade. You would give anything to be running late with her again. "If I talk about her, I'm gonna cry." You warn.
"That's okay." His voice is so soft, and he's looking at you with those big eyes, and something shifts. You haven't talked about her in years, but something in Joel's demeanor makes you feel safe enough to unlock the door in your brain, holding all her memories.
"I had her when I was sixteen. I was pregnant throughout my sophomore year of high school and had a toddler by the time I went to college. I still don't know how, but I graduated. I was gonna go to med school and start a brand new life, just the two of us. I spent so fucking long studying, but it didn't matter."
"How come I didn't know all this?"
"We agreed to keep our pasts to ourselves when we started," you hesitate—started seeing each other as stress relief and nothing else? Started lying to Tess so you could fuck in alleys in between deals? Started pretending like it meant nothing? "I never thought you'd want to know more than you had to."
"I want to know now," He says like it's the easiest thing in the world. "Did her dad stay around to help you?"
"No, he left the second he got the chance. It was probably for the better, anyway. He was an asshole. I still don't know if he's alive or if he even knows what happened. I don't know if I care enough to find out."
"How old was she when she…" he trails off, the last word dying on his tongue. You swallow around the lump in your throat and take a shaky breath.
"Ten."
"I'm sorry." He says, and you nod. You never knew how to respond to people when they told you they were sorry your kid was dead. You still don't. Nobody tells you about this part in parenting classes.
"We got out on Outbreak Day. Somehow, I kept her alive until I could get her to the QZ nearby. I smuggled there for a few years and made enough money to feed and clothe her. That's better than most people were able to do. I would pick her up from school and walk her home most days but I had a deal with one of my neighbors, Mrs. Carmichael, that if I couldn't pick her up from school, she would. She picked her up a few times, and nothing went wrong. So, when I got caught up in a deal outside the walls one day, I thought it was safe to finish it and be home by dinner," you say, regret washing over you all at once. "Then, Fireflies started dropping bombs. I heard the explosions all the way out there, and I ran back, but it didn't matter. They were both gone."
"When I told my mom I was pregnant, she was furious. She told me that a mother's love is nothing compared to a mother's fury. At least, that was her excuse when she threw me out, but I didn't know if I believed her until that day. After Jane died, I ripped the entire city apart, looking for every single Firefly that had orders to drop bombs that day, and I killed all of them without batting an eye, and it still didn't bring her back. I still woke up every morning and listened for her breathing or the sound of her making cereal in the kitchen. I waited for her to come home every day for years," tears fall from your eyes, and you quickly wipe them away. Joel is clinging to your every word. "I couldn't stay there. My daughter and everyone who could've been responsible for her death was dead, so I came to Boston. Met you and Tess, and that was it."
"That's why you wanted to kill Marlene when we got Ellie." He says, connecting the dots, and you nod.
"I wanted to drop a fucking bomb on her head for what she did. I don't care if that makes me cruel. She killed my kid and called her collateral. Made it seem like she was a part of the cause and not a fucking child just trying to get home from school."
"I get it," he says. You open your mouth to say something about how he could never understand, how nobody ever could, but he beats you to it. "My… Sarah was fourteen," He stumbles over his words. "I wanted to kill the guy who shot her. I didn't care that he was following orders on that day, I wanted him to suffer, but he was already dead." 
Joel had a daughter, not much older than yours, and you never talked about either of them. He's one of the only people in the world who can see your pain, the black hole Jane left in you, and show you his matching one. Joel must've been young when he had his daughter, too. Twenty-two, at the very least. How could you have never talked about this?
"What was Sarah like?"
"She was a spitfire and just about the funniest person I've ever known. Smart as hell, too. She was always readin' and telling me everything she learned in school. I never understood half of it, but she loved it," He says, and it's your turn to cling to his every word. His eyes light up as he talks about her. You see now what a good dad he must've been. "Still don't know where she got it from."
"Well, I'd say she got it from her dad. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for." You say, but he shakes his head, refusing the compliment.
"What about Jane? What was she like?" He asks, and you think for a moment. You remember her big brown eyes; how they widened when she was excited about something or glazed over with tears when she was afraid. You remember how her laugh could fill a room. You remember cradling her in your arms when she came into the world and when you found her.
"She was the most beautiful person I've ever met. When she was born, all the nurses would take turns coming into my room to look at her. They couldn't stop telling me how cute she was, and I agreed with them. She was perfect," you smile, remembering how many pictures you took of her tiny face. You had been terrified your entire pregnancy, but the second you saw her, you knew you were meant to be her mom. You felt completely at peace with her, even as young and unprepared as you were. 
"She was quiet and curious, but she also had moments where she was loud and careless like kids usually are. I never understood what people meant when they said having kids gave them a whole new idea of what love could be until I had her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me." You say. Joel watches you wipe more tears away before putting his hand on your knee and squeezing. He doesn't say anything, but the look in his eyes tells you everything.
"I wonder if they would've been friends. Our daughters." He thinks aloud.
"I like to think so."
"Me too," he says. He clears his throat, probably trying to bury any emotions this conversation brought up. "She would've loved you."
"You think?" You ask, and he nods. 
"You two would've been thick as thieves. Probably conspire against me or somethin'."
"And that's different from now, how?" He laughs at that, and you smile. You put your hand over his and let your thumb trace the contours of his knuckles. Those bruised, scarred, terrifying mountains that have killed and beaten soften under your touch. 
You don't say much else for the rest of the night. You just hold his hand and stay awake to protect the girl not much older than your daughters were. The fear, cautious optimism, and sadness that came along with Ellie, that you thought you were alone in feeling doesn't feel as heavy anymore. The black hole Jane left will never be filled, and you will miss her for the rest of your life, but Joel opening up and showing you his similar wound makes you feel less alone. 
It makes you wonder if your girls are together somewhere far from all the pain and bloodshed. You wonder if they've secretly conspired to make you two find each other. You wonder what they would think of each other, of the people their parents turned into, of Ellie. It's nice to think they're together, playing silly games while waiting for you. 
Not yet, sweet Jane, you think as you look at the stars, and maybe it's a mind trick or exhaustion, but you swear a star winks back at you. Not yet, Mommy, she seems to agree. 
💫
💫
1K notes · View notes
moamidzyism · 4 months
Text
awkward (c.yj)
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summary. you let your best friend see your body, and now it's awkward
wc. 5251
genre. angst
tags. minors DNI!! yeonjun x fem!reader, college!au, best friends to lovers to ???, mentions of sex and alcohol, suggestive,
a/n. repost; if you're from my other account, you would know this is just a compilation of all three parts of awkward, though i edited it again.
more of my work
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of all the friends you have at college, you’ve known yeonjun the longest. your mothers grew up together and were those best friends that dreamed of raising their kids together. you saw each other through snotty noses and scraped knees in elementary school and through first heartbreaks and senior prom dates. he was even the one who convinced your parents to let you move from your small suburban town to the big city for college.
tonight, you’re sitting on the couch in one of his friend’s apartment, nursing another red solo cup, watching him suck the face off of some random girl.
you feel a pit in your stomach.
anyone would think that because you had known each other for so long, seen each other at your absolute worst, there would be no way your relationship would ever cross that platonic-romantic line. but as you watched yeonjun become the confident man that he was today, the image of that bratty little kid who always tried to get you into trouble faded away, and you just couldn’t help but develop these weird feelings about your best friend.
there have been many times where you have actually brought up the idea of you guys getting together. jokingly, of course. because lord knows that you would never seriously tell him how much you wanted his soft lips against yours. especially not after he laughs whenever you bring it up.
so now, you just watch him, as he leaves you in a corner at the house parties he drags you along to, flight with other people.
you chug the remainder of the drink in your hand, wincing at the warm taste. you hate the taste of beer but it’s the only thing they have at these stupid parties. you get up a little too fast, and the wind almost knocks you back down. you didn't think you were that drunk, but then again this was your third drink in the last hour.
you walk over to the kitchen and tap the black haired boy on the shoulder. he moans against her lips, not even acknowledging the fact that you were right next to him. you feel the blood rush up to your cheeks as you tap him again. this time, the girl pulls away from him. “can i help you?” she asks.
you don’t even look at her, just at your best friend, who looked annoyed at the fact that you just interrupted him. his arm was still wrapped around her waist.
“jun, i want to go home.” he looked between the two of you, hesitant in his response.
“right now?”
“yeah, i’m kind of tired.” you looked at the rest of the party. “i don’t really want to be here right now.”
“do you want me to call you a car?” he ran his fingers through his hair. are you really trying to cockblock him right now?
“i think i’m going to throw up.” you lied.
“fuck,” he mumbled, “seriously?” you slowly nodded in response. “okay, shit,” he turned to the girl, his arm still around her waist. “i’ve gotta go.”
“you’re seriously leaving me right now?”
“i need to take her home.” his voice sounded sad. “but, uh… i’ll see you around?” it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself that he would ever speak to this girl again. she pushed him away from her and walked out of the kitchen.
his arm supports your back as he walks you to your apartment. his friend’s place was already small, but the fact that it was packed like a can of sardines made you feel a little claustrophobic. the night air definitely sobered you up. but you still feel a little woozy as you make your way into your apartment. yeonjun carefully walks you over to your room and lays you on the bed.
“do you want to stay the night?” you ask him in a small voice.
“no,” he is already halfway to the bedroom door now. “i have to work in the morning.”
“i’m sorry.”
“for what?” he walks back to your bed. 
“for making you leave early.”
“it’s all good. you should go to bed though.”
“can you please stay?” you ask again, a little more desperately this time.
“i’ll see you later, y/n.” he bends down to kiss your forehead. “good night.”
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it was the last day of finals and you and yeonjun were celebrating together in his apartment. “i can’t believe we’re finally done. this semester was rough.” he was double majoring in music business and dance and he had a lot of final projects to complete in those last few weeks of school and this was the first time you had seen each other since last month. “how should we celebrate?” he asks you with a smile on his face. you missed him.
“i think,” you begin, an evil grin appearing on your face. “we should play truth or truth.”
“that’s not a real game.” he interjects.
“yes, it is. and we are going to play it, but every time you do a truth, you have to take a shot of this.” you pull out a bottle of fireball from your bag.
“that sounds like a recipe for disaster.”
“true.” you shrug. “but c’mon. it will be fun.”
and he agrees.
you are both three rounds into the game now and your throat is already starting to burn. the questions started out easy and light but now your head is starting to feel a little fuzzy and the air is starting to get a little tense. you sit cross-legged on the couch opposite yeonjun, the bottle of fireball between your two bodies. maybe it was the way he was looking at you or the fact that you had been drinking knowing that the last meal you ate was a nutella sandwich before your last exam five hours ago. whatever it was, it was making your stomach do flips.
“it’s your turn now.” you giggle.
“ok… when was the last time you made out with anyone?” he asks you.
fuck. why did he have to ask you that? you were a little embarrassed that it had been a minute since you had been remotely intimate with anyone. “i don’t know…” your voice trails off sheepishly, you try to hide your face with one of the cushions on the couch.
“what do you mean “you don’t know?”” he is surprised. he always had friends asking him to set them up with you. “what about that guy from that party we went to?”
“what guy at what party?”
“the one guy who you were talking to all night. i thought you guys hooked up.”
“well, we didn’t.” you pour your shot and immediately drink it. “can we move on? please?”
“well, would you make out with me?”
“it’s my turn to ask the question, yeonjun.” you feel the blood rush up to your face.
“okay, but would you?” he moves the bottle to the coffee table, and inches closer to you. he was right; this game was a recipe for disaster.
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“i can’t believe you had sex with yeonjun.”
“yell it out for the whole world to know.” it is a week later and you are having lunch with one of your friends. you told her what happened with yeonjun and she cheered, gleefully, saying that she was happy it finally happened. it seemed like all your other friends had an ongoing bet about your relationship with your best friend, and she just made twenty dollars.
“so are you guys finally together now?” she leans forward, her palms supporting her chin, invested in your love life.
“god, no.” you sigh. “i haven’t talked to him since then. i actually left when he went to the bathroom and he’s been texting me but i don’t know what to say.”
“you left when he was in the bathroom?” she exclaims, causing you to groan.
“i made things so awkward now. i don’t even know what to do.”
“so you’re ghosting him? and i thought he was the fuckboy.”
“i’m not ghosting him. i just don’t know what to say to him.”
“so you’re ignoring his text. y/n, that is literally the textbook definition of ghosting.”
“what do you want me to say to him? “i’m sorry i’ve been ignoring you after i snuck out of your place after we fucked?” and through text? i sound like such a fucking asshole.” a woman passing with her child glares at you. you groan again.
“you kind of are an asshole, y/n.” her phone vibrates on the table and she looks at it, a smile forming on her face. “looks like you don’t have to say that through text?”
“what?”
“yeonjun is throwing a party to mark the end of the school year. his friend just invited me and you’re my plus one.”
“he didn’t tell me about that.”
“well, how do you expect him to tell you that when you’re ghosting him?”
“i’m not ghosting him!” you try to defend yourself. “and i don’t think i’m going to go. what if he doesn’t want to see me?”
“if he didn’t want to see you, i would not have been invited. and besides, i don’t want to go by myself.”
with one final groan, you put your head against the cold diner table.
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you and your friend arrive at the party and thank goodness, you hadn’t seen yeonjun yet. she promised that she would stay by your side all night and you’re very grateful that so far she has kept her promise. the two of you walk into the kitchen.
you’re making small talk with some mutual friends when someone comes in and asks if you know where yeonjun is. right then, he comes into the kitchen laughing with his friend. his smile drops when he sees you. you wave at him, with a small smile. he turns the other way to answer the person who asked if he wants to play beer pong.
“well, that was embarrassing.” you say to your friend, trying to push your tears back.
“y/n we can leave if you want to.” she tells you, rubbing my arm.
“no it’s fine. i’m fine. besides, we just got here and you promised me we would have fun.”
“okay, but if you want to leave, let me know.”
you couldn’t even try to have fun that evening because you spent the entire party trying to avoid yeonjun. when he was in the living room, you were in the kitchen. when he was in the kitchen, you were on the balcony. when you were sure he was on the balcony, you escaped to the bathroom.
this is so ridiculous. you think, staring at your face in the mirror. you sit on the toilet scrolling through your phone until you hear faint voices outside the door.
“did you know y/n was going to be here?” you could recognize that voice anywhere.
“no, but she’s always at these things. aren’t you guys best friends?”
“uh… yeah, i mean.” you can hear him groan. “something happened and she ghosted me and now she’s at my fucking party.”
why does everyone think i ghosted him?
“what is “something”?”
“if i tell you this, you have to promise not to tell anyone.”
“damn, did you guys fuck or something?” there is a pregnant pause on the other end of this conversation. “fuck!”
“and she fucking ghosts me. complete fucking radio silence for a whole fucking week and then she shows up at my place again.”
“maybe she’s just scared. i mean, your relationship changed overnight.”
“then send an emoji or something. don’t just ghost your best friend.” he stops for a second, sighing. “and, our relationship wasn’t supposed to change. we know each other. we don’t judge each other.”
“do you regret it?”
“regret having sex with y/n? no. i just wish we were still friends now.”
 me too.
you clear your throat and take a look in the mirror. he’s still outside the door but it is starting to dawn on you that camping out in his bathroom all night is neither sustainable nor serious. also, why are you trying to avoid him? it’s better to talk it out once and for all than have him hate you forever. you walk out of the bathroom and see him standing there with his friend. when they hear the door click, they both turn to look at you and his friend makes a face at him. yeonjun grimaces back and they begin walking back to the living room to join the rest of the party.
fuck, okay maybe that’s why you were avoiding him?
your heart is racing now and something in the back of your mind is telling you to just walk back into the bathroom and save yourself from further embarrassment that evening. but then you remember that this is your best friend. he couldn’t really be that mad at you, could he?
“hey, yeonjun.” you call after him and he turns around with a groan. “can we talk, please?” his friend pats his back in encouragement and yeonjun walks towards you.
“now you want to talk to me?” he spits at you.
you feel a chill down your spine at his tone. only he could make you feel so small with such a simple comment. “i was never ignoring you.” you reply. your voice is quieter and more strained than you wanted it to be. you clear your throat and repeat yourself.
he laughs at your attempt to gain confidence. “really, because i was this close to sending a carrier pigeon to your house to get you to talk to me.”
“i’ve just been busy.”
“busy?” he raises his eyebrows in disbelief, his voice dripping in sarcasm.
“yeah, i was busy. i have a life, you know?” you cringe internally at how defensive you sounded. why are you getting so riled up?
“you don’t have to try and convince me. i believe you.” you are standing against the bathroom door and he is still at the end of the hallway. silence fills the gap between the two of you, until he clears his throat and begins to speak again. “so, what did you want to talk about?”
“seriously?” you scoff. “there’s a massive elephant in the room, jun.”
“i mean, what exactly do you want to say y/n?” he looks behind him to the rest of the party. you feel like you were wasting his time.
“i wanted to say i’m sorry for leaving, but–” you begin but you couldn’t get far because he chuckles. “is something funny?” you ask.
“you know when people apologize, like give a sincere apology, there are usually no buts.”
you run your hands through your hair in frustration. you’re trying to clear the air and he’s interrupting you. seriously? “i am apologizing, but–”
“you’re doing it again.” he smirk. he always did enjoy getting you flustered.
“it was awkward.” you blurt out, not giving him a chance to interrupt you again.
“not to me,” he says under his breath, quiet enough for you to almost miss it. but you don’t.
“c’mon jun, we’re friends.” you reply, plainly.
“you and i both know that we aren’t just friends.” he moves closer to you and your breath hitches in your throat.
“yes, we are,” your voice cracks. “ you’re my best friend.” you’re lying through your teeth, trying harder to convince yourself that your feelings for him were made up and he most definitely did not reciprocate them.
“so, why did you leave?” he asks, arms crossed, completely unmoved by the fact that you were about to burst into tears.
“because,” you push back your tears. “because, we’re friends and friends don’t fuck. but we did and i felt so awkward. i made it awkward.” you’d humiliated yourself in front of him too many times in the past week and you were determined to not cry in front of him and have him pity you.
“now what?” he asks, his arms folded in front of his chest.
“what?” you look up at his face, really examining his eyes. the eyes that looked at you fondly and made your stomach do flips were gone.
“you left my house right after we had sex and then you ignored me for a week. you show up to my party uninvited with your “apology” so what now? what do you want from me?” he never raises his voice at you, but he can still manage to make you feel stupid and small.
“i want us to go back to normal.”
“you want us to go back to normal?” he chuckles, not so much in a mean way but more in a confused way. like you just told him that the sky is actually green and grass is blue.
“is that so much to ask for?”
“y/n, you left.”
“but i’m here now.” your voice cracks again.
“and that’s supposed to mean something.”
“yes, yeonjun. it means that i’m here and i’m trying. i want us to be friends again, okay?” you plead. “i’m sorry for leaving and i’m sorry for ghosting you after but i’m here now. i’m trying.”
he sighs and massages his forehead before looking at you. he’s never had a great poker face, but right now his face is blank and you can’t read him at all. “i don’t think we can be friends anymore. not the way we used to.”
“we can try, please.”
“no, we can’t. you were right. it’s awkward now. you made it awkward now.” he starts leaving but turns around. “you shouldn’t have come.” and with that he disappears back into the party.
you sit on the floor for a minute before you feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket.
where did you go????
you look at the time. it had been almost thirty minutes since you told your friend that you needed to go to the bathroom.
im by the bathroom can we leave now
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you took a week to mourn the end of your longest friendship and then you spent the rest of the summer pretending that you had accepted it and distracted yourself with work. you didn’t see a lot of people over break because many of your friends were actually yeonjun’s friends and he got them in the quasi custody battle. now you weren’t getting invites to all the parties you once did, you had to find a distraction in being a straight-a student.
you’re working on a homework assignment when your parents call, asking what your plans for the holidays are.
“i’ve just been really busy, mom.” you tell her when she asks why they haven’t seen you in months. the truth is, you knew yeonjun was going home for summer break and as much as you tried to convince yourself that you were completely over everything that happened between the two of you, you really weren’t. and the last thing you wanted to do was see him everyday for two months.
“you always say that honey.” you roll your eyes at your mom’s passive aggressive comment. “but we will see you in a few weeks, right?”
“you will?” you rack your brain to see if you forgot whether or not you invited your parents to come visit you at your university or something.
“it’s winter break honey.” you had been stuck in a routine of going to work, going to class, and doing your homework in your room. you had completely forgotten that the semester was coming to an end and you couldn’t avoid going home anymore.
“oh, right.” you reply before your mom proceeds to drone on about the annual dinner your family has with your neighbors, which you absentmindedly listen to. “i don’t think i will be able to make that.”
“what? why not? we do it every year!”
she gives you half a second to come up with an excuse. you couldn’t just outright tell her that you didn’t want to see yeonjun and that’s why you haven’t come home since last winter and why you did not want to come home. because that would just be absurd. “i probably have to work on christmas eve. i’m not sure i can make it back home.” not very effective but you’re internally praying to the universe that she believes you and doesn’t push it any further.
but, alas, the universe has not been on your side lately.
“it’s the holidays! i’m sure you can call out.”
“mom, i still have a lot of work to do for school so i still might not make it even if i can get out of work.”
“honey, you know we have this christmas eve dinner every year. and your dad and i have already started planning this year. you can’t say you just can’t make it.”
you sigh. she’s so annoying when she’s trying to persuade you. “i know mom but it’s just that i hate being the youngest person at these things. it’s so boring for me.”
“that won’t be a problem this year. you won’t be the youngest because a new family moved in over the summer, i think in june. they have kids around your age.” she perks up. “and yeonjun is going to be there too.”
“oh, right.” as if you could forget about that.
“we were wondering why you didn’t come home because he was home for a month over the summer.” your mom broke you away from your train of thought.
“i had to work mom.” you respond, dryly. since you told her that you weren’t coming home at the end of last summer. she’s been bringing it up everytime she talks to you. “and i still have to work so i’ll let you know if i can come home for the dinner.”
“oh, you’re coming home.”
“i’ll see, mom.” you’re trying to quickly get off the phone. “i have a lot of homework to catch up on so i’ll call you later. love you! bye!” you hang up.
you know she’s right and you are going to go home.
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from being your mother’s daughter you have learnt two fundamental truths: the salad fork goes on the outside of a plate setting and you need to learn how to lie. you have been at your childhood home since nine in the morning, trailing behind your mom as she prepares for the annual dinner. she made you stay with her the entire day, save for the two hours she allowed you to get ready before the guests arrived. even afterwards, she stayed by your side, forcing you to mingle with guests.
right now, you are in the kitchen with your mom as she gives you a quick rundown on what had been going on in the neighborhood since the last time you were there. other than your family and yeonjun’s, there was a new family at this dinner. according to your mom, they had moved in over the summer and they had a daughter your age who was going to the local university in your town. “it would be nice to have another friend in the neighborhood.” she says, prompting you to talk to her.
rolling your eyes at your mom, you move over to where the girl was with her little brother in the living room. before you could get to her, the front door opens and yeonjun and his mother step into the house. your mom rushes to greet her old friend, as if they didn’t see each other just the other day. you greet her too before escaping to the bathroom under the guise of freshening up before dinner actually begins. you had made plans to avoid yeonjun by any means necessary.
by the time you return downstairs and dinner actually starts, you realize once again that fate (or your mom) had other plans for you. when you get to the table, you see that the only empty seat at the table was between yeonjun and the girl your mother so desperately wanted you to be friends with.
this is just perfect.
you try not to make eye contact with him as you engage in small talk with the girl beside you. you find out that she’s a freshman at the local university and she’s majoring in english literature. you tell her about your major and your classes.
“what about you?” she speaks over you, to ask yeonjun. “do you also go to the same school?”
you turn to face him for the first time that evening. “yeah, i do.” he answers, coolly.
“are the two of you studying the same thing?”
“no.” you answer quickly, trying to keep him out of this conversation.
“i can speak for myself.” his tone shifts when he talks to you. “i’m doing a double major in music business and dance,” he replies to her.
“whatever,” you scoff.
“is there a problem, y/n?” he asks you, snarkily. the girl beside you turned away to play with the food on her plate. it seemed to her that she might have pulled a little too hard on a sensitive trigger.
“oh, you’re talking to me now?” you parrot the words he said to you that night outside his bathroom. the last time you saw him.
“i never said that i wasn’t taking you.”
“then what exactly did you say?” even though the two of you are not having the loudest conversation at the table, you are sure that the other people at the table can feel the tension rising.
“i said that i didn’t know if we could be friends the same as before.”
“so stop trying to act like everything is fine.” you say a little too loudly. the other conversations at the table stop.
“i’m not–” yeonjun begins but someone clears their throat and you both look up to see your mothers glaring at the two of you.
“maybe you two should have this conversation on your own time?” his mother suggests. you feel him shrink in his seat beside you, quietly apologizing.
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after dinner, your mom drags you into your childhood bedroom. your room was adorned with discount furniture, an old bookcase you took from your grandparent’s house in high school, and lots of fairy lights. 
“i don’t know what’s going on with you but your behavior tonight is completely unacceptable.” your mother scolds you. you are sitting on the edge of the bed and she is standing across from you with her hands on her hips.
“my behavior?” you respond.
“you’re being rude to your friend and the rest of my guests, arguing at the dinner table, embarrassing yourself. what is wrong with you?”
“i wasn’t arguing with anyone.” you mutter, rolling your eyes.
“so what exactly was going on then?”
“god, mom! this is like the last thing i want to talk about right now.”
“suit yourself.” she gives you one more look. “but i need you to calm down before you come back out there.” and with that she walks out of the room. you flop on the bed and groan.
how did everything turn to shit? you are so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice that yeonjun walked into the room until he spoke. “can we talk?”
you quickly sit up on the bed, adjusting your dress, and looking at him before scoffing. “you want to talk now?”
“why are you being weird?” he is leaning against the door frame, not knowing whether or not he was welcome to walk in.
“i’m not being weird.”
“why didn’t you come home this summer?”
you look him in the eyes for what felt like five minutes. “why are you pretending like nothing happened between us?”
he takes your response as an invitation to enter your room. he moves to sit on the bed next to you. “i know that i was really mean to you the last time we saw each other but i don’t hate you and i don’t want you to hate me.” you scoff. “what?”
“i don’t think i could hate you even if i tried.” you reply, quietly. the two of you fall into a silence. you took in your room and the man sitting beside you. you two had spent many nights in this room, but tonight you both felt out of place. the fairy lights that surrounded your bed and windows highlight how aged he looks. the once comfortable silence between you two was now a gap, a liminal space. not quite what it used to be before, but not quite awkward.
“i’m–”
“i think–”
you both begin talking at the same time but stop. “you can go first,” you concede.
“i’m sorry for that night at my party.” he begins, not making eye contact with you while you are eyeing him intently. “i think i was more embarrassed than angry and i shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”
“i’m sorry too. for showing up unannounced.”
“what were you going to say?” he quickly changes the subject, feeling that the silence was threatening to return.
“i was saying, i think you were right.”
“right about what?”
“about us not being able to be friends again.”
“i didn’t say that exactly.” he reminds you.
“yeah, whatever, i know.” you roll your eyes. “but i’ve been thinking about it a lot – our friendship. and i don’t think we were ever really friends.”
“what do you mean?”
“i mean our moms are friends and they kind of shoved us together. i feel like we never got to know each other outside of growing up together.” you feel blood rush to your face when you notice how attentively he is listening to you, taking in all your words. you look down at your hands, like a child being scolded by their parents. “i guess i don’t want to go back to what our friendship was. i want to get to know you as you are now. i also had a massive crush on you.”
“wait, had? like past tense?” he jokes.
“yeah, past tense.” you lightly punch his shoulder. “i think when we moved for college, i was really insecure about our friendship, because we had no true bond, you know? i think i convinced myself that i had a crush on you, when in reality, i just knew you were slipping away from me.”
“or maybe you were swept away by my good looks and charming personality?”
“actually, i think it was the former.”
“i mean it’s just a possibility.”
“now i’m definitely sure it was the former.” you smile, thinking about how you were falling back into your old banter.
“okay, ouch.” the silence came again, but this time it was comfortable – something you hadn’t felt in a long time. “i wish you told me sooner.” he says after a while.
“why does it matter?”
“i would have never let us get to this point if i knew how you felt before. i felt us drifting apart and after you left i was really embarrassed. it was easier to blame you and push you away. i really miss you and i want us to be friends.” you look into his eyes and you can tell that he was being genuine; not just saying what you wanted to hear. “truly friends; not just childhood friends.”
"i want that too."
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