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randomvarious · 4 years

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Enrique Iglesias - “Bailamos (Groove Brothers radio edit)” Latin Hits Song released in 1999. Compilation released in 2000. Latin House / House / Dance-Pop / Pop

You all know who Enrique Iglesias is, so I’m not gonna provide much of a biography here. Instead, I’m gonna ask why this house remix of one of his biggest hits, as well as his first crossover pop hit, “Bailamos,” doesn’t appear to have ever been released in the US. But in order to make my case, I need to lay out a little bit of history.

It’s 1995. Texas’ Selena is on the verge of her crossover breakout to become America’s first mainstream Latin superstar of the 90s. But her life is tragically cut short by the deranged president of her fan club, who murders her. Her ensuing album, Dreaming of You, posthumously reaches #1 on the Billboard 200 in the aftermath. However, her death leaves a gaping mainstream Latin music void in America.

Following that tragedy, six separate pop and dance songs emerge between 1995 and 1997 that all have a Latin sound to them. They all hit to varying degrees, and some are more Latin than others, but taken together, their cumulative popularity lays a good bit of groundwork for an oncoming deluge of turn-of-the-century mainstream Latin pop superstars. House legend Todd Terry’s remix of “Missing” by Everything But the Girl kicks it all off by becoming one of the most iconic remixes of the decade. With its Spanish guitar strums and its in vogue house backbeat, it reaches #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. December of that year also sees the release of “How Bizarre” by New Zealand group OMC. Its catchy mix of Spanish guitars and Latin horns with pop-rap verses propel it to #4 on Billboard’s Hot 100 Airplay chart.

The following year, America bore witness to the “Macarena.” It had been released years prior by Los Del Rio, but both a dance remix by Miami’s Bayside Boys, which added female vocals, and a similar-sounding remake by temporary duo Los Del Mar, help it occupy multiple slots on the Billboard charts, with the Bayside Boys remix sitting at #1 for fourteen straight weeks throughout the summer and fall. That same year, a trio of Americans in Germany called No Mercy liberally sample Todd Terry’s “Missing” remix and crank up the use of Spanish guitars for their cover of La Bouche’s “Where Do You Go,” which reaches #5 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Another pair of lesser-known hits come in 1997. Denmark’s Los Umbrellos bring the Latin horns and Spanglish lyrics with the pop-rap/dance-pop earworm, “No Tengo Dinero,” which peaks at #42 on the Billboard Hot 100. Tito Nieves releases his solo dance version of “I Like It Like That,” an update to a 1994 version he led with a one-off group of other stars of Latin music called The Blackout Allstars. The song doesn’t chart, but it’s included on Jock Jams, Volume 3, which goes gold, selling over 500,000 copies.

In retrospect, six songs isn’t really that many to go big in three years, but half of those were absolutely monstrous hits. The Bayside Boys’ remix of the “Macarena” lasted for over a year on the Billboard Hot 100, while the “Missing” remix stayed for 55 weeks and “Where Do You Go” survived for 39. They were three of the biggest hits of the entire decade. It was a potent sample that proved America had an affinity for Latin music, especially Latin dance tunes.

Then came America’s first bona fide Latin pop star following Selena’s death: Ricky Martin. His legendary performance of “La Copa de la Vida” (”The Cup of Life”) at the 1998 World Cup would endear him to American audiences, setting him up for the first official gigantic Latin pop crossover hit of the late 90s, “Livin’ La Vida Loca,” in 1999. A re-branded Santana, Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, and Enrique Iglesias would then proceed to break around the same time, too. Christina Aguilera would also debut and release Spanish-language songs and so would Jessica Simpson. All of a sudden, America was in the throes of a Latin pop craze.

By 1998, Enrique Iglesias had established himself as a star in the Latin music world, but it was Will Smith who would get him to cross over to the U.S. mainstream. Smith had attended an Iglesias concert and following the performance, he asked Iglesias to contribute a song to the Wild Wild West soundtrack. Iglesias agreed and chose “Bailamos.” The album would go double platinum (good god) and spawned “Bailamos” as its second single. A slightly different version would then be released a couple months later by Iglesias for his upcoming and first crossover album, Enrique. The single would hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and sell 700,000 copies.

So here’s where my confusion lies. “Bailamos” was produced by a pair of guys named Mark Taylor and Brian Rawling (They also produced Cher’s “Believe”). Together, they made an uptempo and poppy Latin house remix of “Bailamos” as well, crediting themselves as the Groove Brothers. The remix was released all over the world and a music video was even shot for it, which played in Europe.

youtube

But, for some reason, the song wasn’t released in America. The US had clearly shown that it liked Latin dance tracks for the past four years or so, and the wave of Latin pop stars at the time was immense. I’m not saying this remix should’ve been released as a single to compete with the other two “Bailamos” singles and potentially overload radio and TV, but it wasn’t even included with the other remixes that appeared on the US-released “Bailamos” singles. Why couldn’t the producers of the #1 hit in America have their remix released in the US too? I don’t understand. Club DJs like Junior Vasquez were lighting up dancefloors with remixes of just about every contemporary pop hit. Surely there was some kind of niche for this remix, if not the broad American public? I mean, we fucking loved Spanish guitar, and this one packed it right into the backbeat and the foreground, along with the whistle chirps. Remember when they put the whistles in the hits? We loved the whistles, didn’t we folks?

Just one of life’s many unanswered questions.

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chezforshire · 4 years

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Another thing Bon learns from Marce: Valentine's.

Marce doesn't know the history behind it but she knows what it's about, at least. She also has a healthy amount of dislike about capitalism's grasp on it but she's not 100% sure abt that bc that just came from Simon so idk don't take my word for it Bon.

Bon finds it cute as shit and wants to allot a day in the year for it. Marce thinks that's cute and hey she'll even perform some old love songs she remembers

So they prepare and tell the whole kingdom and Marce has to admit she's a little excited. She figured she might as well get something for Bon. As a friend ya know?

So, day comes, everything's just as planned. Well. Except for the insane influx of chocolates and flowers and gifts and what not for Bon.

In hindsight, she should have expected this. She is the princess (and their mother-creator thing) so of course they love her.

Marce looks at this and shrugs. She dumps her own gift (just some flowers she got from the other side of Ooo no biggie) and gets on with her performance. No one knows the songs, obviously, but they all still clap and are appropriately impressed at her skills.

It's not till before she leaves does she get something for her efforts.

They're at Bon's room (Marce always stays here for a bit before leaving, just chatting with Bon and doing whatever) and she's getting ready to go home when Bon casually asks if she could stay for a bit longer.

To sort through the gifts, you know?

Marce shrugs at this and floats her way to the bed. Before she could even pick up any of the gifts, Bon settles down next to her with the flowers she got her.

"I'm assuming this is from you?"

"No one's batshit crazy enough to go to where that thing grows, Bon" she laughs a little at her joke.

Bon smiles and looks at the flowers so softly. Something in Marce melts and she quietly hopes that she got Bon the best gift she'll get from these losers. She shakes that thought away and focuses on the gifts scattered on the bed.

Bon excuses herself for a second, "to find a vase for these plants", and lets Marce start opening the gifts.

She opens them up as gently as she could, being half demon and also vampire she's very much liable in breaking whatever is in the box. The first few were food (why... why would you wrap it up like a present? At least they put it in a box. Well, except for that one weirdo) some were seeds, the others were clothes that were either so tiny or so gigantic. Man, she's pretty sure she got Bon the best gift.

Then she gets to this one gift that's a motherfucking crystal she swore could only be gotten by someone of her strength.

Bon comes back at that moment, flowers in the vase, and sees Marce's petulant face. She puts the vase away and slides up next to her. "What's got you all scrunched up?"

Marce mumbles for a second then hands the rock over. Bon only notices it then and starts fawning over it. She picks it up and starts examining it with gusto. After around a dozen paragraphs, she turns to Marce and the question of where it could have come from dies on her tongue.

She puts it gently to the side and drapes herself dramatically over Marce. "Why are you being a sour puss?"

Marce sighs "Idk I just thought i got you a cool present and someone one upped me. Feel like i lost is all"

Bon hums at this. "I mean, yeah I guess that mineral is way cooler but so i kind of love yours more? Mostly cause it's from you to be honest"

"Oh." Marce feels really nice over that and she's pretty sure if blood still roamed around her body, it'd be rushing to her cheeks.

"Oh!" Bon suddenly sits up and jumps off the bed. She rummages through the little fridge she keeps in her room for a second and comes back up with a smile.

She walks up to Marce with a big smile and presents to her a little tupperware of strawberries.

Marce kinda looks at this quizzically. "Strawberries?"

"Yeah! I grew them myself! I did a lot of tweaking and adjusting to make the flavour translate through color too. There shouldn'tbe a difference in the taste as well even though i did notice it was different. I know you can still taste food, but you admit yourself that it's not as good as when you taste through color. So i tried to do my best with this one. I have like a hundred other strawberry bushes that aren't up to standard but yeah this is from the best so far."

She's rambling. Marce just watches her go on about how she made it and all that and now she's talking about the color wheel and it's s not her usual scientific rambling, but more. Her anxious rambling. From when she was half a century younger.

Okay why

Marce gently touches her hands and she snaps out of it. She turns several shades pinker and smiles unsure. She quietly offers the fruits again and Marce takes them gently.

She picks up one of the strawberries and examines it. There's a heavy and tense silence between them and she's not sure if what she's about to say and do is going to make things worse but hey fuck forward thinking.

"What does it taste like?"

Bon shrugs. "Well, if I did it right you should be able to taste it fully through the color."

"Nah Bon," marce presses the strawberry gently against Bon's lips, "what does it taste like?"

Bon hesitates for half a second before taking the gentlest bite. Marce is stares unabashedly as she chews slowly.

"It's sweet. Not overly so. The notes of acidity tells me I harvested them at just the right time."

Marce holds Bon's face gently, tilting her head towards her slightly. "You think I'd get the same taste?"

Bon leans into her hand "Maybe, only you can tell."

Marce pauses. She wishes she could say that she thought about what she was about to do. Say that this was the moment she said fuck it. Say that this was when she had all sorts of revelations and what not. But really? All she had in mind was "time to find out"

#chersonal #bubbline #adventure time #at #at hc #yellow yelling #god fuck #fuck #i did it again #it's long as shit #and makes no sense #whatever have this word barf yo

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 6 years

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Bohemian Rhapsody

How do you fuck up a big-budget biopic of a queer icon? You make it by and for straight people. I’m not going to mince words here: Freddie Mercury was a legend, an almost mythical man who lived within a complicated intersection of identities. He was Parsi, born to immigrant parents; he had sexual and romantic relationships with both men and women openly at a time when same-sex attraction was still considered a mental illness or perversion; he dressed and performed flamboyantly, disregarding and subverting gender norms; and his ambition and talent made him one of the greatest performers to ever live. Imagine a movie that interrogated all of those identities and revealed something about the interior life of such a fascinating man. What you’re imagining is the exact opposite of Bohemian Rhapsody. So what do we get instead? Well...

How about a starry-eyed depiction of Freddie’s “one true love,” his relationship with Mary Austin? Or what about queer desire being depicted as malicious, forcibly thrust upon Freddie, and a damaging influence to his emotional and physical health? Don’t forget about the disappointment and distance between Freddie and his conservative family. Oh, or the best bit - when Freddie’s drug-fueled partying and gay sex caused Queen to break up for years, which literally never even happened.

I understand narrative license. Lives don’t fit neatly into boxes. There’s not usually one simple narrative through-line in a human life that creates a good cinematic story. You know what kind of cinematic stories people like? Character studies. You know, where you actually get to hear the person talk and interact with other people and reveal something about their inner thoughts and feelings, maybe show some of those thoughts and feelings through their actions? But that’s nowhere near as fun as another concert montage, amirite?

Some thoughts:

Ah, the biphobia, how I didn’t miss you. It’s true that when Freddie told his fiancee Mary Austin that he was bisexual, she replied, “You’re gay, Freddie.” And that’s hurtful, but at least it’s an honest depiction of that conversation. When it becomes the ONLY clear statement about Freddie’s sexuality in the film (out of the mouth of a straight person), that’s when I have a fucking problem. Did you know Freddie had relationships with women, like Barbara Valentin, even into the 80s? Also, did you know that when a person says they’re bisexual, you can just believe them? They don’t have to prove it or anything! You can just believe them and it costs you nothing.

Those dental prosthetics are honestly wretched. He had an overbite but I honestly found the prosthetic distracting, it was so extreme.

This is not to say Rami Malek’s performance isn’t excellent - it is! His movements, his mannerisms, he’s eerily in sync with the real Mercury. But the film’s conception of Freddie’s character is fundamentally flawed, and Malek’s performance can’t save that.

It’s incredible - not in a good way - that they made this a PG-13 movie when Freddie most definitely led an R-rated life.

Good thing the real life Roger Taylor and Brian May were there with executive producer credits to make sure their characters were supportive and loving and absolutely instrumental to every move Queen ever made. I’m sure they had nothing to do with the downplaying of Freddie’s long-term relationships with men and the AIDS crisis.

I 100% did not recognize Mike Meyers as Ray Foster, the record exec at EMI who told them “Bohemian Rhapsody” would never be a single and no one would ever play it on the radio. He just disappeared under that makeup! And I kind of love the sweet little Wayne’s World crossover by casting him.

Also, the bassist, John Deacon, is played by Joseph Mazzello, aka little kid Tim from Jurassic Park!!! I knew his face was familiar but couldn’t place him and when I figured this out I sat with my jaw dropped for minutes.

Much like Purple Rain, every second watching Freddie and Queen perform music is so captivating it takes your breath away. Every second not spent on them performing music feels bloodless, overwrought, and perplexing.

There’s so little time devoted to who Freddie was as a person. As a performer, yes, we get a front-row seat to his bombastic, high-energy performances, which is thrilling. I never got to see Queen live in their heyday, so this is probably as close as I can get - and Freddie was such a monumental talent and literal human oddity (although his four-octave range may have been an exaggeration, he did have vocal capabilities other people literally do not have) the film has to dub his vocals in rather than have Rami Malek cover the songs himself. He contributed some vocals, but the bulk were Queen stems and Marc Martel, a very talented man who won a Freddie Mercury soundalike contest.

I cannot stress this enough - every single thing surrounding the Live Aid performance, save the actual performance itself, was a lie. Queen did not single-handedly save the Live Aid fundraising goal. Queen never broke up. There was no period of time where they “hadn’t performed together in years” - in fact, Queen released 2 albums in 1980, one in 1982, and one in 1984, all with subsequent tours. Freddie didn’t get officially diagnosed with HIV/AIDS until 1987 - a full 2 years after Live Aid. Also, I’m definitely sure that Freddie didn’t wake up the morning of the concert, find a man he kissed 5 years earlier, take him round his parents’ house for tea, get the long-awaited hug from his father he’d been hoping for his entire life, then head off to Wembley stadium to perform what has been voted by musicians, journalists, critics, and pretty much everyone else literally the greatest live rock performance ever. LIES. IT SHOULD BE CALLED LIE AID.

If I seem bitter, it’s because I am. I know what could have been, and it’s not a watered-down, cliched, pile of tripe like this. Freddie Mercury is a musical legend, an unapologetically queer icon, and a man worth remembering as someone who lived the way HE wanted to. This sad, safe, sanded down version of him seems to be the version his bandmates and Hollywood wanted him to be. I’ll take the Killer Queen over this version any day.

#118in2018 #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody review #rami malek #joseph mazzello #mike myers #freddie mercury #queen #movie reviews #film reviews

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pancaspe · 7 years

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Lin-Manuel Miranda Talks Puerto Rico Benefit Song 'Almost Like Praying'

Interview in Rolling Stone

"The way music comes out of ... every molecule of the place [is] something we share," playwright says of track featuring Jennifer Lopez and Luis Fonsi

It's been two weeks since Hurricane Maria first raged across the island of Puerto Rico, and the crisis has only grown more complex. What first seemed like a natural disaster has also proven to be a long-standing infrastructural one; most of the island remains without electricity and water, putting its residents at a heightened risk of disease and famine. Yet with Puerto Ricans' pleas meeting inadequate responses from the White House, Tony-winning Hamilton playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda has taken matters into his own hands – and with the help of many friends. Recorded alongside an all-star cast of Latin artists, including Jennifer Lopez, Gina Rodriguez, Fat Joe, Gloria Esterfan, Camila Cabello and Marc Anthony, Miranda's new song "Almost Like Praying" is a love song to Puerto Rico as much as it is a fight song. The song's proceeds will benefit the Hispanic Federation's UNIDOS Disaster Relief Fund.

"You know how we always tell artists 'stay in your lane' anytime they say something remotely political? I'm trying to use what I do in service of this challenge," Miranda tells Rolling Stone. "We're facing a humanitarian crisis right now. And the response from our federal government is not commensurate with the previous two hurricanes, much less up to the unprecedented danger of this disaster itself."

Miranda began work on the song, an adaptation of "Maria" from 1961 musical West Side Story, two days after the hurricane first made landfall. "I knew the name Maria was forever going to have a destructive connotation to this island," says Miranda. "It's also the name of my favorite song from West Side Story. So my brain was already looking for a sample to flip … And that's what we do in hip-hop, right? We take a sample, we flip it and change the meaning. And so the hook of the song is, 'Say it soft, and it's almost like praying.'"

But first, he sought clearance from Stephen Sondheim and the estate of Leonard Bernstein. "They gave their blessing within a day," says Miranda. "When there's a crisis, you call in all the favors – call the gods of musical theater! I have the great fortune to count Sondheim as a mentor and a friend. I worked with him and Bernstein on the 2009 revival of West Side Story and its Spanish translations. Sondheim wrote back immediately and said 'Yes – and what else can I do?'"

Miranda infused the number with a warm blend of dancehall, reggaeton and steel drum sounds; the result is an incendiary and highly danceable clarion call. ("If you're gonna write a song for Puerto Rico and you can't dance to it," says Miranda, "you fucked up.") Most moving is how many of Miranda's childhood heroes, including original West Side Story cast member Rita Moreno, take turns shouting out each of the island's 78 towns – a move Miranda says was inspired by Puerto Ricans' heartbreaking calls across social media to find their relatives in the wake of the storm.

"There was a terrible silence," says Miranda. "For some people days, for some people weeks. My Twitter and my Facebook were filled with friends and family listing the names of their towns. 'My grandmother is in Vega Alta, my father lives in San Juan, has anyone heard from Isabela?' I began thinking about the towns as lyrics. What unites us in this tiny island that is 100 miles across and 35 miles north to south … Is that we're from these towns. We ask, 'Where are you from?' It is our link to our roots and our families."

While enlisting collaborators for the track, Miranda says he made new friends in the process. "I broke my Rolodex and called every Latino artist I know," he says. "And when I didn't know them, I got on Twitter. I caused a minor uproar with Camila Cabello's fans when I tweeted her, 'Hey I have an idea!' I also sent a private message to Luis Fonsi, who I never met before. I cold-called and every single person said yes, without even hearing the song."

Within a dizzying 72 hours, Miranda flew from New York to Miami and Los Angeles to be present while the artists recorded their respective verses. Yet some were still recovering in the Caribbean, where resources were scarce and internet access was spotty. "The rapper PJ Sin Suela recorded at home," says Miranda. "But he didn't have the bandwidth to email his verse. So he gave a memory stick to Estefan, who was there on a relief mission – she then flew it back to us. When I say 'all hands on deck,' I'm really not fucking around!"

Riggs Morales, the executive producer behind the Hamilton Mixtape, mixed and mastered the song in the days that followed. Meanwhile, Miranda harvested stories of Puerto Rico from his collaborators, evoking tears and laughter inside the studios. This behind-the-scenes footage will air as part of a televised benefit, airing commercial-free on Telemundo Saturday, October 7th.

"I asked everyone, 'What are your favorite memories from Puerto Rico?'" says Miranda. "I will never forget seeing Rubén Blades breaking down about meeting Hector LaVoe for the first time. I'll never forget Marc Anthony talking about wearing suits before getting on a plane [to the United States] so they'd look white when they landed … And Gilberto Santa Rosa, who sang at my wedding. He was a salsero, but grew up in the same part of town as Daddy Yankee. They could not make two more different genres, but music saved their lives.

"The way music comes out of every frog, every tree, every molecule of the place," reflects Miranda, "That's something we share."

Almost like praying

#lin manuel miranda #rolling stone magazine #interview #almost like praying #puerto rico relief #dates and times are in italian

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gringoslur · 7 years

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Hi you're one of my fav blogs (I wish I could talk to you in Spanish but I'm from Brazil and unfortunately we only learn English at school). Anyway, I'm here bc I need help with a playlist and you're the first person I could think of. I want some Latino songs about LatAm, but idk much of other countries' music, so I thought maybe you/your followers could help? I want songs that talk about being Latine, how usa imperialism sucks, etc. I can send u what I already have so u can see what I mean! Thx

Don’t worry! I have brazilian friends and we mix english, spanish and portuguese lkjfg. Yeah, send me what you got! i can give you some songs right now, putting some parts that i love:

Latinoamerica by Calle 13 (Puerto Rico, Colombia, Perú, Brasil): i feel like you already have this in your list, because is our anthem at this point. It’s a song about latinoamérica and what they did here (the video has subtitles) / I work hard but with pride. Here we share, what’s mine is yours. This nation doesn’t drown with the waves. And if it collapses I rebuild it. I don’t even blink when I look at you, so you’ll remember my last name. Operation Condor invading my nest, I forgive but never forget!”

Memoria by León Gieco (Argentina): a song in memory of the dictatorships of Operación Condór (they had the help of US) + in memory of the terrorist attacks here (in the Argentine Israelite Mutual Association building) (the video has subtitles) / Two thousand would eat for a yearwith what a military minute costs. How many would stop being slavesfor the price of a bomb thrown to the sea? / Memory aims until it killsthe people who try to silence it and don’t let it fly free like the wind.

Frijolero by Motolov (México) / video with english subtitles: a big fuck you to US from México in 2009, even before Trump. I love this song / “Now why don’t you look down to where your feet is planted. That U.S soil that makes you take shit for granted. If not for Santa Ana, just to let you know that where your feet are planted would be México”

El mojado by Ricardo Arjona / lyrics in english (Guatemala): song for inmigrants. “He said goodbye with a grimace disguised as a smile and he asked God -crucified on a shelf- to protect his people, and he crossed the border as he could / Wet.back, wet of so much crying, knowing that in some place a kiss awaits him on hold since the day he left”

Multi_viral by Calle 13 (Puerto Rico): song of protest / The one who controls, the one who dictates, wants to get you sick to sell you drugs. / A piece of news not well told is an assault with a weapon /Our ideas are free and they are awake because we think with the doors wide open. What is not seen, we are seeing. We are born without knowing how to talk, ut we will die talking out loud.

Canción con todos by Mercedes Sosa / lyrics in english (Argentina): a song for latinoamericanes / All the voices, all. All the hands, all. All the blood can be song in the wind. Sing with me, sing…american brother, set free your hope with a cry in your voice.

Rubén Rada (Uruguay): this list is looking to sad/dark, so let’s bring some latinidad with this amazing afrolatine artist. here: cha cha, muchacha / muriendo de plena / candombe para Gardel

Gringo maligno by Todos Tus Muertos (Argentina): Regan, Clinton Bush, Regan, everyone is the same / evil gringo, sent by Satan ccupying and blocking, imposing your plan.

La patria madrina by Lila Downs and Juanes (México and Colombia): protest song agaisnt capitalism, agaisnt the violent kidnapping and killing of 43 students of Ayotzinapa, agaisnt the destruction of the earth / Everybody wants a share of the oil, you see? and to burn Mother Earth with urgency to make more cars, to make more money, as if you could buy happiness.

Por si acaso no regreso by Celia Cruz (Cuba): a song dedicated to Cuba, her homeland / Home, do not suffer. Heart, do not break. Because badness can’t last 100 years nor could any body and I never wanted to abandon you. I’ve taken you with every step and my heart will remain for eternity as a flower on your lap just in case……just in case I don’t return / In the case I don’t return, if I don’t return, remember: I loved her with my life. In the case I don’t return, I will die from pain…I’m already dying.

Los americanos by Piero (Argentina) / lyrics in english: with an ironic/sarcastic tone, he makes fun of gringxs. Every part of this song is gold. / They are born elderly and gradually become kids, throughout the lifetime of “los americanos”. And they are born convinced that there is nobody in the world more important than “los americanos” / Napoleon for them was an Italian gentleman who organized everything without “los americanos”. And they are more than sure that he wouldn’t have lost Waterloo with the help of “los americanos”. If they know anything about history, it’s not from reading it but from seeing it in the “cine americano” / If there’s something to be admired, wherever they go, it’s the grand elegance of “los americanos”. wearing native dress, they mix in with the people, and nobody realizes that they are “americanos”.

“Murciélago” by Porter: about the colonization of natives / The elders saw them. They do not come in peace, we hear screams. There have three ships, they bring Cristo.

La Gozadera by Gente de Zona and Marc Anthony (Cuba and Puerto Rico): a really cool song about latinidad. / If you are Latino, take out your flag!

Guerra by Calle 13: anti-war song. they talk about US, wars and refugees. just. please watch this video. it has english subtitles./ I am your defeat, your two broken legs. The nail in your foot which pierced through the boot. I am the strategy in any battle. Today you either win or lose, I am the sorrows of your joys. The war by night and the war by day.

Pégate by Ricky Martin: let’s end this in a happy song, 100% latine with my father Ricky / I come with good stuff for my people, I bring love, I bring this remedy which cheers up the hearts of the entire world. For the pain, for the heartaches. There’s nothing better than the rhythm of my drums / And let rivers of goodness flow to all the people of the world. Because we can’t forget that pure love liberates and lies are poison. As my mother used to say: dancing you can solve anything.

I’m tagging some of the latines that i know, if they want to add any song, please do it! @dasakuryo @the-mighty-microwave @targannington @alteanwitch @koganer @voltronless @bitcherovas @ceibos @duskianfae @im-not-a-real-hero @trashsenal @dixonette1013 @latinxlance @cherry-cokes @lancesazul @freckledai @pamelas @elbiotipo guys u are like a bunch of people lkfjg i’m sorry if i forgot anyone!!! a lot of people and a bad memory, not a good mix.

#latinoamerica #latinxs #latinx #latinos #latinas #latine #latina #latino #ask #midniter

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keepingupwithlinmanuel · 7 years

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Lin-Manuel Miranda Talks Puerto Rico Benefit Song 'Almost Like Praying'

"The way music comes out of every frog, every tree, every molecule of the place," reflects Miranda, "That's something we share."

[Source]

#lin manuel miranda #articles #interviews #puerto rico #rolling stone #politics and advocacy #almost like praying #music

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king--flvcko-blog · 6 years

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A$AP Rocky Talks New Album, Under Armour Deal, and His Deep Love of Flowers

Our interview with A$AP Rocky was supposed to take place backstage after an A$AP Mob concert in Philly, in a quiet, empty room, but in the moment, Rocky had a better idea. “We need to capture this chaos right here,” he said, gesturing around his dressing room, still packed with Mob members, girls, security guards, other unidentified loiterers, and even (according to A$AP Ferg, anyway) a loose mouse. “Let's embrace the chaos,” Rocky suggested. “Rolling Stones in 1967, feel me?”

He took his spot in the middle of a leather couch, surrounded by his old friends from Harlem—Ferg, Nast, Ant, and Twelvyy—and started methodically breaking down a small mound of weed as he spoke in a post-concert rasp. Every so often, he'd tease me for asking so many questions. But some of them he didn't mind so much: GQ Style had collected them from a few of Rocky's notable friends and admirers, with a promise of bringing back answers.

The chaos Rakim Mayers attracts is a result of his charisma, which is raw and uncut. It is el puro, perhaps the purest of any star in pop culture—Hollywood, music, fashion, whatever. And given that Rocky's mom named him and his elder sister, Erika B. Mayers, after Eric B. & Rakim, it was only natural that a kid who seems to crank up the color saturation whenever he walks into a room would channel his God-given wattage into rap music. From the beginning, though, Rocky also established himself as a style innovator and made fashion an inextricable part of his music. In his breakout video, for “Peso,” he repped hard-edged, gothic-leaning streetwear like Black Scale, as well as more established avant-garde fashion like Rick Owens and Y3, while rapping, Raf Simons, Rick Owens usually what I'm dressed in. That was back in 2011, long before he cemented Simons's unlikely hip-hop-icon status with the song “Raf” this July. It's not a stretch to say Rocky is partially responsible for making European high fashion as much a part of hip-hop and pop culture as streetwear.

In the six years since he first appeared on YouTube, everything he's touched has taken on a sort of magical flyness. He's put out three successful solo albums; recorded hit songs like “L$D,” “Yamborghini High” with the A$AP Mob, and “Fuckin Problems” with Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and 2 Chainz; stole scenes in the surprise-hit indie film Dope, co-starring Shameik Moore; and launched a creative agency, called AWGE. Later this year, he'll appear in Anthony Mandler's Monsterand he'll begin a wide-ranging, long-term collaboration with Under Armour. He's become a rap star, a fashion godhead, a music mogul, an actor, a designer-entrepreneur-influencer—a true creative in universes where everyone calls themselves creatives.

Now, after two years spent racking up all those hyphens, he is ready to return to the first thing that made him: rap music. But things are a little different this time. In January 2015, Rocky's best friend, business partner, and mentor, A$AP Yams, passed away in bed at his Brooklyn apartment from an accidental prescription-drug overdose. Rocky was there the night of Yams's death and was among those who found him. A few months later, in May, Rocky released At.Long.Last.A$AP; on the album cover, Rocky's face bears Yams's signature purplish red birthmark. This new album will be Rocky's fourth, but his first ever made entirely without the guiding presence of Yams.

When we met in London for the GQ Style cover shoot, Rocky was deep in his work zone, trying to finish the record. He was keeping his phone turned off, more or less, so he could try to complete the LP before jumping to Milan for the Gucci runway show and then returning to the States for a long tour with the Mob. He's 29 now—he's seen a lot, and even his friends have questions about where he's been and where he's going next.

GQ Style: The first question comes from Mahershala Ali: “Considering you were named after Rakim, one of the greatest MCs of all time, what legendary MC would you name your child after?”

A$AP Rocky: Wow, that's a good one. Let me think on it.

You're punting on the first question?

Yeah, but only because it's so good.

All right, we'll come back to it. The second question comes from Dior designer Kris Van Assche. You may have heard of him.

Rocky: Dior boys.

A$AP Twelvyy: From Paris!

Kris asks, “What was a typical Friday or Saturday night out for you like when you were a teenager?”

A$AP Ferg: Fighting in clubs.

Rocky: Oh, you want me to tell them the Santos story?

Ferg: You love telling that story.

Rocky: All right, one time in Santos [Party House, a New York City nightclub], it was like 2008. We took the train from Harlem. I had on this Marc Jacobs shirt, these D&G pants—'cause I was wearing D&G back then—and Marc Jacobs sneakers. Ferg, you had on the black Acne pants, with the blue jean jacket, and Nast, you had the blue jean jacket with the seam, with the black Acne pants, and the black Timbs, with the Super glasses on, with the 'fro, 'cause you was on your Jay-Z shit, trying to wolf up. A lot of A$AP members were there that day. I'ma come clean, we was in the club, and A$AP Bari was trying to talk to some dude's girlfriend. Next thing you know, the dude got mad. He looked like some wrestling dude. He was big, with long hair. He's like, “What?!” to everybody. We was like, “Yo, chill,” but he kept going crazy. So [Harlem-based visual artist] Jay West put him in a headlock, I snuffed him, he fell, everybody kicked him, we all dispersed, we ran.

A$AP Nast: Let's talk about the Ferg punches.

Rocky: Don't forget about the Ferg punches! Ferg said, “Don't touch my friend!” Boom, boom, boom! [laughter]

Ferg: I did not say that.

Rocky: That shit was echoing through the man's body! When the dude got up, the first person he spot was me with the pink shirt on, so he just start charging, like a mad raging bull, and he grabbed my head. Now we on the motherfucking dance floor, fighting like females, pulling each other's hair. I'm biting this motherfucker's thumb and pinkie and shit, going crazy, snuffing him. This motherfucker must've been on mollies and liquor. Next thing you know, I just see feet running my way. Ferg came through. Nigga said, “Get off my friend!” Ferg was mad concerned. It was sincere. He was like, “Get off my friend!”

Ferg: I did not say that.

Rocky: So then, we all leave out the club. We outside. Your man, he was a manager of the club, so he come out, bugging out with his security guards. He throw ice at all of us and hops in a cab. We run down on the cab, take him out the cab, and start beating him up while we're screaming “A$AP!” So that's how everybody knew us back then. Next question.

What's your number one priority?

Right now, it's music. Last year was businesses and developing all our new artists. Playboi Carti went platinum. Smooky MarGielaa is on the rise. Twelvyy album came out. A$AP Ferg mixtape came out—he always got number ones and bangers. Nast, Addie, up next. Cozy Tapes Vol. 2 is out right now. Now it's all about me making music again.

What do you say to people who say that you're “more fashion than music”?

I can see why they think that sometimes. I really wanted to take time out to show people I was an entrepreneur. I'm a businessman—you gotta take me serious. I can't help that I look good doing it. But if you just look at my catalog from this year, everything I get on, I body. I'm selective about what I get on. I'm particular. I wasn't really featuring with other artists. But this year, I'm showing niggas stop playing me, stop sleeping on me. I'm the god of this shit.

So when we saw you in London recently, you were on a phone-off lockdown, making an album. What was the vibe—the starting point for the new album?

My new album is really about testing new sounds. People are scared to test new sounds, so they go with what's current 'cause it's the easy thing to do. The top 100 songs sound a certain way. People cater more to that because it's a bigger demographic behind that, or it's a guaranteed demographic behind that. I prefer to experiment and have my crowd grow with me and to reach new crowds. I don't just rap—I actually make music. That's why it takes time. These sonics represent me.

Did you go to London for the sound of London, or was it more just getting away so you could focus?

Both. London has a cool sound. I always record in London. But I needed to get away. London's my second home.

When do you want to put the album out?

ASAP—no pun intended.

This year?

Yes, sir.

Your travel schedule is intense. When you're always on the move, where's your center, or your home? Do you ever wake up in another hotel room and wonder, “Who am I?”

Fuck no. Sometimes I do wake up like, “Where the fuck am I?” But not “Who am I?” I'm the same nigga I was when I went to sleep.

You've had relationships with Dior and Gucci. You seem to have a personal relationship with Raf. How do you characterize those connections?

Sometimes it's business, and sometimes it's friendship. Raf had me flying out to Antwerp so I could smoke my weed and just catch a vibe with him back in 2012 and 2013. I've been looking at him and [Rick Owens's wife and muse] Michèle Lamy for advice. Michèle Lamy is like my fairy godmom.

What do you and Michèle talk about when it's not Paris Fashion Week double-kiss time?

Art. She's the reason I got all these diamonds in my mouth. She had hers since 1985. She puts me on. She tries to make me evolve as an artist. She encourages me to do more things outside of musical arts—more contemporary art. She taught me the difference between masters and Renaissance and contemporary and Pop art. It's been a journey. Raf, we talk about collections, we talk about his favorite scenes—what rave scenes inspired most of his career.

Do you talk with them about, like, feelings and personal stuff? Or is it mostly art and the industry?

Yeah, Michèle Lamy be hooking me up with all type of models—not all type of models, but her friends who she thinks is sweet. She says, “You need to meet her, she's a nice girl…,” and I go meet her. They either crazy or nice.

Here's a question from Raf Simons.

Oh, it's lit.

“Dear Rakim—”

Oh, that's my guy. That's the lord right there, big bro.

“If you could not do what you're doing now, what would you do? What's another life dream of yours?”

If I wasn't doing this, to be real with you, I'd probably be an interior decorator.

Nast: You could be a florist.

Rocky: Yeah, I could. I have such good taste. I love flowers. I think decor value and feng shui is important. If not, I'd be a video director or a film director. But my whole life, I just wanted to be a rapper. That was it.

The Balenciaga sneakers that you wore in our shoot: They're a little controversial, and I would like to know why you like them.

I seen those early, and I like them 'cause they remind me of a Raf Simons sneaker, and on top of that, those shits are fire—

A$AP Ant: Shit is trash—

Rocky: He's hating 'cause he got the fake Rick Owens Balenciaga shits. I don't fuck with them shits. I only fucks with the ones I got. I call 'em the Larry Davids, you feel me?

You've been wearing a lot of yellow recently—shoelaces, hoodies, et cetera. What's the deal?

You ask a lot of questions. I'm just preparing for a final test, that's all.

Okay, well, the next question is from Shameik Moore.

That's my son.

“What advice do you have for getting more creative with your personal style?”

Nast: Wear what suits you and not what's trendy.

Rocky: Yeah, but when we wear stuff that suits us and not what's trendy, it becomes a trend. So that might be confusing for people. I would just say that everybody's different. Everybody got different body shapes and whatnot, so I would say stick to what you know fits you best and what you feel comfortable in, even if it's not in style. Just wear whatever makes you feel cozy.

Nast: That's kind of what I just said.

Your creative group, AWGE: First of all, how do you pronounce it? Second of all, what is it?

Nast: That question we don't speak of.

Rocky: The first rule of AWGE is you never repeat what AWGE stands for. Second rule of AWGE is, whenever in doubt, refer to the first rule. So there you have it.

Is it not “A$AP Worldwide Global Enterprises”?

Nah. You on some bullshit. That's sacred.

What have you learned about leadership since the Mob's rise into the public consciousness?

Fellowship. Brotherhood. I try to manifest leadership into anything I do as an entrepreneur, as a businessman. But when I'm doing music, it's the element with the brothers. We all lead by example and lead each other, so I lead and follow, too, you know?

You just announced a new deal with Under Armour. Why Under Armour? And what can we expect?

People would assume, with me going into a business deal with a sports brand, that it would be all about designing or curating a line—making things more lit. But what I liked about Kevin Plank, the CEO of Under Armour, was that he had a vision. He gives, gives, gives. When you donate or you do charities, it's not about showing people “Look, I'm doing this.” I was in a shelter myself. And I know that when people be donating and shit, you ain't get no fly shit at Christmases and all that. You don't see no money. Pardon my French, but you don't see no money. So I really want to make a difference. So I got with Kevin and Under Armour so we could open up real rec centers with fly shit in them. Not hand-me-down toys and technology—new stuff. And programs for kids to learn to become entrepreneurs, designers, athletes. They can screen-print their own tees and sell 'em from the store, get that commission on it. I think it's smart. Those kids need laptops and phones today—that's their platform. So I want to do something that's really gonna make a difference, as opposed to fronting with the cameras like, “Ah, I'm doing this, doing that.” We gonna show and prove when we go and design uniforms. We're gonna start in New York, the tristate area, 'cause that's where I'm from. And then go to different junior high schools and high schools throughout the country.

But commerce being commerce, you're going to have to sell some stuff to fund those programs. So are you gonna design a line with Under Armour? A$AP Rocky sneakers?

I'm talking about giving away to schools. That's not selling, bro—you don't make any money off of that. What are you talking about? I want to facilitate ways for kids to get better education without calling it education, 'cause that shit sounds boring. I want to make a way for being smart to be cool. There's nothing wrong with being a thinker. Where I'm from, being smart has a negative connotation—that means you sold out, that means you're a geek. I'm just trying to say, “Fuck all that. This is the plan: You are the future, that other shit is the past, so let's make a better way.” And if I feel like designing some shit with Under Armour, I will.

Question from André 3000.

Oohhh, it's lit.

“What hidden talent do you have that only your parents or close people know?”

Twelvyy: He's good at playing Pokémon and shit. Yo, you see him with like 500 Pokémon cards.

Nast: He's the best at double-Dutching.

A hidden talent—something maybe only your mom knows.

Well, we might have to call my moms, then. [pauses to think] I display mostly all my talents. Right? I'm creative, intricate—angelic at moments. You gonna make me sound real conceited right now talking about myself. Why don't you tell me what it is?

Well, there's a second question from 3000: “What hobby or craft would you like to be doing that is completely outside music or fashion?”

I want to design furniture. Maybe a sofa. Or a bed.

Ferg: You did design one of your beds in the house.

Rocky: I know I did, but I want to sell my joints. That was just me testing.

Switching gears: What does God look like?

Everybody has a different God. I don't know if God is a female, male, or even in human form. I pray to somebody. Religion is deep. Everybody got a different God, but I just respect everybody for their beliefs. It is what it is. I'm more spiritual than anything. Because I find flaws and contradiction in a lot of religions, respectfully, and I just take the good out of all religions and try to practice to be a better person.

You pray every day?

Yes, I pray every day. I pray over cookies. I say my grace, straight up and down.

You've experienced loss in your family. A few times over the years, as far as I know, and then you guys as friends and collaborators and a crew experienced the loss of Yams. Do you feel like you've grieved, or did you just keep working?

Keep working. I'm not gonna lie. Because if we grieve it, it might take everything out of us. [long silence]

How'd you get the scar on your face?

When I was 15, I had a fight with some niggas in the Bronx, on Arthur Avenue. This older guy gun-butted me while we was fighting. He was trying to rob my Pelle Pelle jacket. I still kept it, though. It was bloody. My sister Erika bought me that for Easter. I wasn't about to give my shit up. Fuck outta here. If you've ever seen Jim Jones's “Certified Gangsters” video, he had it on in black. I had it in white with the colorful Easter P's on it.

All right, so we're back to where we started—the question from Mahershala Ali. “Considering you're named after Rakim, one of the greatest MCs of all time, what legendary MC would you name your child after?”

Twelvyy: Yambo?

Ferg: Yami's not a MC, though.

Twelvyy: What you mean?

Rocky: No, he was a singer, bro. He was an R&B singer. As far as rapper…I'd probably name my child Pharrell.

Ferg: I knew he was gonna say that.

#rakimworks.#q'd

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tcmpcral · 4 years

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Crack Playlist for Muse

Rules: Go onto itunes, Pandora, or whatever you listen to music from. Put your music on shuffle and fill in each without skipping any songs. The results will probably be crack, unless you end up getting really lucky and depending on what you listen to. Copy and repost, do not reblog. Have fun! yes i’m doing this for multiple muses sorry

Muse’s Playlist with a song for different situations:

Love Song: The Remedy -- Puscifer [ ‘you speak like someone who has never been smacked in the fucking mouth. that’s okay, we have the remedy’ basil nO that’s not how you flirt ]

Break-Up Song: Lund -- Broken [ sh. shit 8| ]

Sex Song: всему свое время -- чайф [ this would kill the mood so fast tho lbr ]

Happy Song: The River Sings -- Enya [ excuse me i need to bust a gut laughing real quick ]

Sad Song: It Will Come Back -- Hozier [ ....i’d never made the connection between this song and basil before now... ]

Mad Song: Brigmore Lullaby -- Dishonored 2 [ basil i’m sorry but i don’t think you can pull off creepy-angry ]

Favorite Song: The Dreadnought -- The Dreadnoughts [ ...yeah that checks out ]

First Dance: Meet Me in the Woods -- Lord Huron [ basil no don’t go tempting ur loved ones into eldritch dimensions while u slow-dance with them ]

Exercise Song: Lo Mismo -- Maitre Gims ft. Alvaro Soler [ thank you shuffler, for giving me the idea of basil in a zumba class ]

Song that is hated yet also liked: Good Luck, Good Night, Goodbye -- The Secret Sisters [ 100% believe that this song reminds him of minca, so he has Mixed Feelings ]

Song that is only liked because of the music, not the lyrics: Let It Be -- apparently The Silver Beetles

Song that is only liked because of the lyrics: Around the World -- Red Hot Chili Peppers [ bullsHIT i refuse to believe basil doesn’t love Everything about this song ]

Love Song: Poutine -- The Dreadnoughts [ ...so i can’t find it now, but i once read an analysis of this song that it was an extended metaphor for. sex and. majora no ]

Break-Up Song: The Man Comes Around -- Johnny Cash [ what does this mean ]

Sex Song: The Skrigjaargen Polka -- The Dreadnoughts [ HOLD ON I BUSTED A GUT TOO EARLY JESUS CHR IST ]

Happy Song: Hats Off to the Bull -- Chevelle [ this does not sound very happy majora ]

Sad Song: El Mismo Sol -- Alvaro Soler [ ...majora i think you just don’t understand emotions my dude ]

Mad Song: Monster -- Meg & Dia [ ok see that one makes a little more sense ]

Favorite Song: Otherside -- Red Hot Chili Peppers [ ...you know what, after looking up some info on this song... Fitting(TM) ]

First Dance: If The Devil Danced in Empty Pockets -- Joe Diffie

Exercise Song: Stop -- The Spice Girls [ oh no majora honey no ]

Song that is hated yet also liked: The Plateau is Blue -- Wulan Tuoya [ thinking emoji ]

Song that is only liked because of the music, not the lyrics: California Dreamin’ -- The Mamas and The Papas

Song that is only liked because of the lyrics: Terrible Thought -- Poe [ oh he’d definitely Feel Some Kinda Way about these lyrics but not sure about the sound being off-putting to him ]

Love Song: The Part Where You Let Go -- Hem [ THAT’S SAD ]

Break-Up Song: Cradles -- Sub Urban [ w at-- i mean. idk, maybe i could see it squints ]

Sex Song: Seemann -- Rammstein [ coughs. i mean. that checks out ]

Happy Song: Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? -- Paula Cole [ hOP PLS that is the exact opposite of a happy song je s us ]

Sad Song: Devil’s Backbone -- The Civil Wars [ thinking emoji ]

Mad Song: S.O.S. -- Indila [ but this song is soul-crushingly depressing ]

Favorite Song: Violet -- Hole [ ..........you know what, i can 100% see that ]

First Dance: Barso Re -- Shreya Ghoshal [ what a great first dance song ]

Exercise Song: To Be Human -- MARINA

Song that is hated yet also liked: 幸福花儿开 -- Wulan Tuoyan [ i have zero idea what this song is about. maybe it’s too catchy for hop. come on, hop, at least it’s not most dazzling folk style :>;;;; ]

Song that is only liked because of the music, not the lyrics: Getting Scared -- Imogen Heap [ bULL SHIT SHE LOVES THE EVERLOVING HELL OUT OF THIS SONG ]

Song that is only liked because of the lyrics: Something I Need -- OneRepublic

Love Song: Vivir Mi Vida -- Marc Anthony [ that’s a sound i hadn’t connected to brianne yet lmao ]

Break-Up Song: The Freshmen -- Jay Brannan [ oh jesus what is this. this is Exactly the kind of song she would hate.... which. i guess fits a break-up song lmao ]

Sex Song: Red Thread -- Lisa Germano [ ‘go to hell. fuck you. i love you. i love you, too’ uh ]

Happy Song: Биение Сердца -- Sergey Lazarev [ i don’t. think this song is happy. i do hear ‘i love you’ in it squints btw calling it now that she loves this song only bc he’s Super Cute ]

Sad Song: Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand -- Primitive Radio Gods

Mad Song: Miss Shanghai -- The Shanghai Restoration Project [ ....can i just say this song kinda fits her to a t tho ]

Favorite Song: Telling Ghosts -- Puscifer [ dANG IT the Winning Streak(TM) is broken ]

First Dance: Psychobabble -- Frou Frou

Exercise Song: House on a Hill -- Passenger [ i have. some Thoughts ]

Song that is hated yet also liked: Riverside -- Agnes Obel [ I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS ]

Song that is only liked because of the music, not the lyrics: Mundian To Bach Ke -- Panjabi MC [ I MEAN. I GUESS. I COULD SEE THAT??? ribrianne and basil took the zumba class together i see ]

Song that is only liked because of the lyrics: An Honest Mistake -- The Bravery [ another thinking emoji ngl tho, i think she’d like this sound ]

tagged by: whispers i stole it, but if you see this and you haven’t brushed your hair today, then have at it bc i’m tagging YOU

#;dash games #;;music #just bc #long post #bc whe ezes #idk why this was just sitting in my drafts fully done??#what

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davidcarner · 7 years

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Chuck vs the Nanny, Ch 7, Who’s your Momma?

A/N: I don’t know how many of you write, and those of you who do, I don’t know how many write like I do. See, I get an idea and just start writing and then fix things as I go. Some things really don’t matter, in this case, who the “big bad” is. When you write novels, it’s no big deal, you just go back and edit them, but when you write fan fic and post chapters as you go….well, it can be a bit of a problem. I knew who the “big bad” was in this story, but it never felt right, and honestly, most of you guessed it. However, I got a message from Marc Vun Kannon, and it got me thinking. I went back and reread everything, and honestly, nothing was really said that stopped me from changing the “big bad”, so I have, and honestly, I think it’s better, in fact, it really works. It’s amazing how well it works. Sometimes my mind does things when I write that I don’t realize, and this is one of those times. Sit back, relax, and enjoy my favorite chapter of this story.

Disclaimer: Still don’t own Chuck, but actively working on getting the rights to Steampunk. Chuckster so she can write the movie, season 6, or WHATEVER SHE WANTS!

Carmichael Industries, Russian branch

“Mary, you might want to see this,” Jenny, Mary’s assistant said. Mary walked over and looked at the computer layout of the facility. There was a flashing dot off to the side of layout. Mary frowned. “How is this possible? It’s outside of our facility and there’s an intrusion? The software must be buggy.” Mary smiled, and gestured toward the keyboard. Jenny moved out of the way, and Mary typed a few things, and another facility schematics came up on the screen. “What is that?”

“That, is Alexei Volkoff’s office, and someone is in there.” Jenny’s eyes grew wide. She had always heard the rumors about Alexei and his private office, but it remained off books. Apparently for a very good reason.

“I’ll take care of this,” Mary said, drawing her weapon, and she left quickly. As she approached the doors she hoped to never see again, she noticed it was cracked open. She pushed it open, and used all her spy training not to gasp.

“Alexei! Hands up or I will kill you!” she screamed, pointing her gun at Alexei. However she quickly realized it wasn’t Alexei and then laughed, as Hartley screamed as only he could scream and slumped out of the chair to the ground while trying to raise his hands. “Hartley, I’m sorry, it’s just you know you’re not supposed to be in here.”

“Do you think I want to be in here?” he yelled/screamed in a panic.

“Hartley what’s wrong?”

“They have Vivian,” he said with tears in his eyes. Mary’s face hardened.

“Come on, we’re going on a trip, there’s someone I need to make sure is where he’s supposed to be!”

}o{

Vault

Chuck watched his wife Sarah’s head twitch and jerk as the Intersect uploaded itself into her mind. Suddenly she stopped twitching and fell over, not moving. The bodyguards moved forward, and as good as Chuck was with a tranq gun, he knew he was no match for 12 guards that approached him. One of the bodyguards kicked Sarah’s foot, and she had no reaction. The men turned toward Chuck, who raised his hands in surrender, knowing he had no chance currently. They pulled him out into the open and Chuck began to think this might be it.

“Hey, I recognize her,” one of the bodyguards said. “That’s the girl that was supposed to take this guy out, back when I worked for Quinn.” Chuck rolled his eyes thinking things couldn’t get any worse.

“I mean really, this guy, Intersect, does anyone ever bother to learn my name?” he asked disgusted. One of the bodyguards cocked his gun aimed at Chuck. Chuck swallowed. “Got it, not important right now.”

“Frank?” Chuck heard Sarah’s voice. Chuck looked over and she was sitting up, starting at first Chuck and then the bodyguard. She shot Chuck a death look, and his heart sank. She looked up at Frank. “Thanks,” she said to Frank. Frank looked confused. “You got my memory back.” She looked at Chuck with disgust, and Chuck swore to himself that if he ever got out of this, he’d quit ever thinking things couldn’t get worse. “Do you know I had to sleep with that idiot and have his kids,” she said with venom in her voice that Chuck had only heard once…it was the time Quinn had taken away her memories. Chuck felt sick.

“Sarah, are you okay?” Frank asked. She nodded and stood.

“Let me,” she said to Frank, gesturing toward the weapon. Frank shook his head. “Hear me out. This…nerd…made me have his children, had his way with me, and kept me away from what I do best, just to be a mother to his kids.” Chuck stared straight ahead, his heart breaking with each word from her, and wondering how she could be remembering things the wrong way. She wanted kids, she had stayed an integral part of Carmichael Industries, and every once in a while she unleashed her ninja kick-assery skills on those that deserved it. “He had me watch all those goofy movies. They were sooooo stupid.”

“The prequels,” Frank said.

“Hey, they’re not that bad,” Chuck interjected. Everyone turned to look at him. “Right, shutting up.” Frank shook his head and handed her two guns.

“Enjoy,” he said. Sarah winked at Frank and turned toward Chuck. She walked right in front of him and squatted down, looking him directly in the eye. Chuck was terrified…and a little turned on.

“I want you to hear this Bartowski, all of this,” she said. Chuck looked into her eyes. “Of all the nerdy things you made me watch, I think the worst is Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan.” Chuck raised an eyebrow. She turned and looked at Frank. “You know the worst thing, besides these nerds running around and talking in Klingon?” Frank shook his head. “They used some stupid code to communicate with each other, Regulation 46A. I mean how dumb do you have to be to tell someone what you are doing with a barely disguised code?” She asked, turning and looking directly at Chuck. Chuck had had enough. He decided he wasn’t going out, without taking a few of his own shots, besides what did he have to lose?

“That’s the worst memory?” Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. “I would have thought it would have been you having to say these words to me. ‘Chuck, you’re a gift. You’re a gift I never dreamed I could want or need and everyday I will show you that you’re a gift that I deserve. You make me the best person I could ever hope to be and I want to spend and learn and love the rest of my life with you.’” One of the guards wiped his eyes. Chuck looked at him like, “really?” He turned back to Sarah. She was smiling almost evilly.

“I’m used to lying,” she answered. Chuck nodded with a smirk on his face. “The worst thing I had to do, was listen to you. ‘How do I express my love for you? Or my dreams for our future? Or the fact that I will fight for you everyday. Or that our kids will be like little superheroes with little capes and stuff like that? Words can’t express that and don’t do it justice. They just don’t cut it. So no vows. I’ll just prove it to you everyday for the rest of our lives. You can count on me.’” Chuck leaned back, placing his hands behind the legs of the two thugs behind him.

“So that’s it? After all this time, this is how I find out?” Sarah bounces a shoulder and shrugs. “So it’s time to end this?” he asked. She nodded, stood and looked right at him. “Do you have anything you want to say to me?” She grinned.

“Perfect,” she said. Chuck brought his hands up and forward, hitting both of the guards in the back of the knees, as Sarah squeezed off two shots at them. They were dead before they hit the ground. Chuck looked up. He knew it wasn’t possible, but it seemed like things were moving in slow motion as Led Zepplin’s Immigrant Song played. There were 12 guards, two dead with her and Chuck’s move. The guards attempted to move their guns to aim at Sarah, since they had had them down during the two’s exchange. Sarah side kicked Frank with her left leg, sending him into three off to the side. That left six, two behind her and four to her right, she dropped down into the splits and spun, taking out the four to the right while the two behind her shot over her head. Chuck shot cover fire over the heads of the two, from one of the guns on the ground, and the two scattered. She stood, moving to her right, taking out three of the five on the right, leaving Frank and another guard and the two behind them. One of the guns jammed, and she threw it at Frank, knocking him backward. She shot the other behind her, the gun running out of bullets. Chuck shot cover fire again at the guard on the right, and he ducked. Sarah kicked the guard in the face, and caught the gun Chuck threw to her. The two were down, and Sarah looked at Chuck not sure what to do. As she did, Chuck saw Frank rise with a gun, and he started to cry out, as she shot both Frank and the other guard all while looking at Chuck. Chuck nodded understanding what she had to do. He stood and walked to her.

“Regulation 46A, if transmission are being monitored during battle, no uncoded messages are to be transmitted on an open channel,” Chuck said, smiling. Sarah put her hand around his neck.

“See, I did pay attention during those movies,” she said, grinning.

“Everything?” he asked, a grin on his face. The smile on Sarah’s face nearly made Chuck cry.

She straightened his tie, pulled him in, and kissed him. “Who’s your Momma,” she asked when she pulled away, with a coy smile and a raised eyebrow.

“Hi-Yo!” he yelled, and gave her the 100 megawatt Chuck smile that was reserved for her.

“Uh, we hate to break up the party there, but we have a situation in Castle,” Carina said over the earpiece. Sarah and Chuck’s hearts leapt to their throats, as they remembered the situation with their kids.

“We’re on our way,” Sarah responded. There was no answer. “Carina? Carina!” Static.

}o{

Five minutes earlier, Castle

Samantha and Stephen were in their prep room when the fire fight broke out.

“I wasn’t ready for this,” Samantha said, working on the computer as fast as she could. Stephen watched her, understanding what she was doing, just not caring.

“You missed that code there,” Stephen said, looking for nunchakus. She looked over at her brother.

“You really need to let Mom and Dad know that you understand all this coding,” Samantha began. Stephen sighed, not finding what he was looking for. “Are you really going to use Kung Fu?”

“Of course I’m going to use Kung Fu, and why would I tell them I can?” Stephen asked, annoyed by his younger sister. “They’ll want me to do stuff on the computer, and I can’t watch the cool movies with Uncle Morgan.” Samantha studied him for a minute.

“You do know if Dad knew, you could help him and Uncle Morgan write a video game?” Stephen turned toward her, his mouth dropped opened. “There!” she exclaimed. “I’ve got Aunt Ellie total tactical and communication control of Castle!”

“Let’s go beat up some bad guys,” Stephen said, finally finding his nunchakus. The two headed toward the firefight.

}o{

Now

“Carina!” Sarah shouted, worried.

“Sarah, we are five minutes out,” Casey said. “However, I’m afraid bodyguards are headed your way.”

“Sarah?” Ellie’s voice came over the coms.

“Ellie?” Sarah asked, as her and Chuck exchanged a look.

“Listen, your children have locked Devon, Clara, and I in a panic room.” Sarah looked at Chuck.

“It’s not my fault!”

“You Bartowskis are always protecting everyone,” she said, with both pride and irritation.

“I have total schematics, and you have nearly a hundred guards heading your way,” Ellie said. Sarah’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you showing any side effects of the Intersect?”

“No, not yet, in fact I remember everything.”

“Any headaches?”

“Nope,” she said popping the P. “How long until it starts?”

“I truly don’t know. Here’s the bigger question, can you take out a hundred?”

“Ellie, she’s Sarah. With the Intersect. How-” Chuck said, before he was cut off.

“I don’t think I can take that many,” Sarah said, looking at her husband. Chuck gave her a surprised look. “I’m not that good.” Chuck smiled like he disagreed.

“Chuck,” Ellie began. “Your best chance to get out of this and get back here is to put on those glasses.”

“Is it safe?” Chuck asked.

“I have no idea,” Ellie replied.

“If it messes me up I’ll be no help to Sarah.”

“Sweetie, let’s be honest, the way you are you can’t really help a lot in a fight,” Sarah said honestly. “I mean you can take out some, but it they come in firing…” she couldn’t complete the sentence. Chuck nodded and held out his hand. She handed him the glasses as he looked at them.

“One more time…with feeling,” he said, as he put them on. The flashes came across, and blinded him for a second. When it was over, he took off the glasses, handed them to Sarah, and fell straight back, on the ground. “I hate that part.”

“I really need remember to catch you when you fall after doing that,” Sarah said with a grin. She bounced a shoulder with a shrug. “I guess I forgot,” she said, smiling.

“HA!” Chuck said.

}o{

Castle

“Carina, are you alright?” Zondra yelled, returning fire.

“My shoulder hurts like a-” Carina began but was cut off.

“Aunt Carina!” Samantha shouted out with a warning. Carina and Zondra turned toward Samantha as Samantha gave her a dirty look.

“I’m shot, doesn’t that let me say what I want?” Samantha shook her head. The firing stopped from the twelve men who were trying to take out the remaining CAT squad members.

“Boss said not to hurt the kids,” one of the guards yelled. They kept their guns trained on the CAT squad members. Stephen came walking forward, swinging the nunchakus, and promptly hit himself in the head. Carina rolled her eyes.

“You’re definitely the Nerd’s kid,” she said.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Stephen said, rubbing his head where a welt was starting to form. “You capture me and my sister, we’ll gladly go with you, and you don’t hurt anyone else here.” The guard laughed.

“Kid, it’s on.”

“Stephen, don’t!” Zondra yelled. Stephen turned toward his aunts, and grinned, a grin they both recognized from his father.

“Hey,” he said softly. “It’s me.” They stared at him, as his eyes moved rapidly. If they hadn’t been looking at him, they’d have never seen it. Their eyes grew huge, but not as huge as the 12 henchmen that found themselves in the middle of a fight they weren’t prepared for. Samantha launched herself at the two nearest her, Superman punching one, knocking him out, and leg sweeping the other as she landed. He crashed on the ground and she brought her foot down on his head, knocking him out.

Stephen threw the nunchakus across the room, knocking out two instantly, as he sprinted toward two more, slid under one of the henchman’s legs, stood and turned quickly. He hit both in the back of their knees, and the two men fell. He jumped, grabbed both henchman by their necks from behind and slammed their faces into the ground, knocking them out. Carina and Zondra exchanged a look, nodded, and stood. The other six were stunned with no idea what to do. The former Cat Squad members each took three shots, taking out the other six. Samantha turned, furious.

“We had a deal!” Samantha said, furious that they had killed the six.

“Zondra and I didn’t, and for that matter, they would have killed us, if you two had lost.” Samantha thought for a second.

“Bad guys tend to not keep their words,” she said, understanding. She walked over to the computer and hit a few buttons. A few seconds later the Woodcombs, having been freed, appeared. “Carina’s been shot,” she told Ellie. Ellie nodded and began to take care of her. The doors opened and the team minus Chuck and Sarah stormed in. They surveyed the carnage.

“What happened here?” Casey asked. Beckman, who had been pushed to safety during the firefight, looked over at the two Bartowskis with pride.

“Stephen and Samantha,” she said calmly. Casey looked at them, and then at the CAT members. Zondra held up her gun and nodded at those with gunshot wounds. Casey’s mouth was still open.

“Chuck me,” he muttered.

“Where’s Mom and Dad?” Stephen asked, and everyone realized the two of them were still in danger.

}o{

Undisclosed Location

The tall man stroked his goatee as he watched everything take place.

“They’re good. They’re so good, and they remember. It’s good to remember, because now, I can hurt them.” He turns toward the woman prisoner. “I apologize Vivian, but your father gave them too much, and they must pay for what they did, and so must he. Don’t worry, I’ll kill you first so he can watch, and suffer.” The two men that were tied up looked at each other, desperate to escape. “Don’t worry, they’ll all pay, no one takes away my play thing.”

Vault

5 minutes ago

“Are you going to lay there all day,” Sarah asked, searching in her purse. She found a ladies watch and put it on, she made a face and smiled. “That’s better.” She continued to look in her purse.

“You know back when I was the asset you used to help me in these situation,” Chuck said as he slowly got his bearings and got back to his feet. Sarah gave him a look. She was trying not to smile.

“Maybe you should go wait in the car,” she deadpanned still looking. She smiled when she found what she was looking for and pulled it out in front of him. “Maybe I think since you’re no longer an asset, you can get up off the ground while I take care of more pressing matters for you. She took the watch and fastened it on his wrist. Chuck sighed as he felt the stress leave his head.

“Ohhh, fancy. His and hers governors?” he asked.

“No reason not to be stylish,” Ellie answered over comms. “I had them prepared in case things went south.”

“I mean that was a stretch because things never go south when we’re on a mission,” he said to Sarah, with a grin. Sarah gave him an amused look and shook her head.

“Guys, be careful.” Ellie said over the comms. Chuck looked at Sarah and smiled.

“Please it’s us,” he replied. Sarah smiled at him. “Leave me a few?” he asked. Sarah bounced a shoulder and shrugged.

“Keep up,” she replied, and the doors opened in front of them. Ellie listened for the next five minutes and heard groans, shouts, bodies hitting things, and all sorts of mayhem.

“Now you’re just showing off!” Chuck yelled once.

“Maybe I’m just better at being the Intersect,” Sarah’s playful tone said. A few seconds later, “Oh, now who’s showing off!?”

“I’m the OG Intersect, Baby, and don’t you ever forget it.” Ellie heard what sounded like someone getting swatted…in their seat area. “Hi-Yo! Mrs. Carmichael, are you getting a little frisky?”

“Mr. Carmichael, if you don’t know the answer to that, I’m not doing it right,” Sarah replied.

“Children, I can hear you,” Ellie answered, her head in her hand.

“Sorry, Mom,” Chuck yelled. “We’re out!” Chuck and Sarah left the party and looked around. A Porsche pulled up with two bad guys in it. Sarah threw the two handguns she had left at both, knocking them down. She looked at the car, then at Chuck, and did her version of the Bartowski eyebrow dance. “You are going to be the death of me,” he muttered. She bounced a shoulder.

“You’ll go out with a smile on your face.” Chuck watched her head down to the car, and nearly drool over it. She hopped in. “Are you coming?” Three and a half minutes later they entered Castle.

}o{

Castle

“Where’s Mom and Dad?” Stephen asked.

“Right here,” Chuck answered, grinning as they walked in. Sarah handed the glasses over to Ellie who quickly began running tests on the glasses.

“Chuck, you’re kids…” Devon began.

“Awesome?”

“They were like miniature versions of you and Sarah! I’ve never seen anything so scary as those two kids beating everyone up.”

“Which means one of us is going to have to keep the Intersect,” Sarah said. Chuck and everyone looked at her. She shrugged. “It’s going to be hard to discipline your kids if they can tie you up, put you in safe room, and you can’t do anything about it.”

“Then let’s get it out of you, before you start having problems,” Ellie said to Sarah. “We’re going to upgrade it first to make the removal easier than it was in the past.” Sarah nodded, and grabbed Chuck.

“Come on, you’ve got to get upgraded too,” she said. The computer flashed as everyone looked away. After the upload, Chuck felt Sarah’s hand on his back to make sure he wouldn’t fall over. He looked over at her and grinned. “Flash on Jenny Burton, Chuck,” she said softly. Chuck did, and noticed there was no headache, strain, and it happened almost instantaneously. “Chuck, flash,” she said. Chuck smiled.

“I did,” he replied. Sarah was shocked and then she heard Ellie yell, “Yes!” and did a fist pump. Chuck grinned and turned to his sister. “Fixed it?” Ellie nodded proudly.

“Okay, Sarah, let’s get it out of you,” she said, and with that, she handed her the removal glasses. “Morgan, you’re next, we’re going to fix you too.” Everyone seemed excited and happy, except Beckman and Jason Black who were off by themselves. Little did they realize that Samantha had moved close and was listening to everything they said.

“We shouldn’t,” Beckman began. “But, if we don’t he’ll kill our love ones.”

“Your love one,” Jason replied, looking down, and then back at the group. “I feel more love here than I ever did with him.” Beckman nodded.

“And, how would she react if he died,” she asked looking at Sarah. Jason nodded, looking at her.

“She’d never forgive me,” he replied. “Of course, I’m not for sure she’ll forgive me now.” Samantha thought she knew what was going on, the only question was, should she tell everyone.

}o{

A deep dark hole

“Ma’am, I’m telling you he’s here,” the guard said.

“I’m telling you until I get a look at him, I don’t believe it,” she replied. The guard sighed and looked at the two.

“Follow me,” he said, and let Mary and Hartley into the prison. The two got on a cart and rode for what seemed like miles until they came to a fortified cell. The guard had radioed ahead. Mary and Hartley walked up to the cell, and a guard slid a small door covering an opening no more than 1 x 2 open.

“Company!” the voice inside said. Mary looked at him.

“You’re here?” she said, shocked.

“Who were you expecting, Superman?” Shaw asked. “Oh, I get it, someone is after Chuck and Sarah and you thought it was me? Would they like help? I’m always in a mood to kill those two!” Mary nodded at the guard and he slid the piece of metal shut. “Nice visit,” came the muffled voice from inside.

“Was that him?” Hartley asked.

“Yes, that was Daniel Shaw. So who is doing this to Chuck and Sarah?” Mary shook her head. “Come on, it’s time I went home and try and help the kids figure this out, and you’re coming with me.” Hartley nodded and followed her.

“You know I never really thanked you, I could have been in here if it wasn’t for you.”

“You gave the kids 837 million dollars, I’m pretty sure that covers it,” Mary said smiling. Inside her guts were churning. Who was doing this to her family?

A/N: I’m at a dilemma. The next chapter will basically end this story, but like I said, I have some ideas for a whole season. So, do I keep going with this one, or mark it complete and start my second story? You guys tell me. Do you want one long multichapter chronicle, or several 8 to 10 chapter stories? Let me know, and I really hoped you enjoyed it. I can’t wait for the big reveal next (Jason Black, I promise)

#Chuck #Sarah #Charah #Season 6 #I still miss them #Chuck vs the Nanny #I needed a little fluff and I'm not even sorry.

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spvced0ut · 7 years

Photo

doing this bc I’m bored at work and it’ll keep me busy :-)

1. Evan Marc Lancaster. I have 2 more middle names but can’t give out my entire government name :-)

2. I’m an Aquarius

3. 3 fears.. well, bugs that fly and/or sting for one, death, and me dying before my parents do (I’m terrified of death)

4. I love my parents, animals (especially dogs), and pizza

5. well I feel like I have a lot of best friends but my bestest friend ever is @jetadore-xo :-)

6. slippery x migos

7. turn on’s: good teeth, a nice chest, being tall, and if he smokes weed

8. turn off’s: bad breath, against equality/women/gays/trans/etc of any sort, jealousy, a broke boy

9. blue

10. I have 3 piercings (both of my ear lobes and my septum) and 2 tattoos (one on my back and one on my inner bicep). I really wanna get my nose pierced and maybe a cartilage piercing. and I want to touch up my 2 existing tattoos as well as add some more

11. well this is tumblr, but I joined twitter back in ‘09 because it became popular and all my friends had one lol

12. I feel pretty okay. my bf annoyed me a little bit last night & into this morning but I am getting over it. it’s also 4pm and I’ve been at work since 10am but I get off in 2 hours so it’ll be A-OKAY MY DUDES :-)

13. peace. serenity. to be in tune with myself 100% of the time. power. control.

14. currently I have a boyfriend and his name is Raymond Galicia :-)

15. well my @ is spvced0ut. it translates to spaced out, as in the state of being spaced out or not fully there, mainly from being high or drunk hahaha

16. movie: I don’t really watch movies all that much, but I liked that new movie baby driver that came out

17. song: reminder x the weeknd

18. band: the weeknd, migos, drake, 2 chainz

19. upset: being ignored, working my entire day, and being sick

20. happy: getting high, sleeping in, and eating out (such a stoner omg lol other things make me happy too guys!!!!)

21. in friends, I find not being clingy and overbearing attractive. I don’t enjoy feeling like I have to report to my friends or let them know what’s up 24/7. I enjoy my low maintenance friendships where we just pick up where we left off every time we see each other. in guys, I find not being jealous attractive. as well as being able to brush things off because I’m horrible at that so if my partner can do it, I can usually adjust.

22. miss: my mom, my brother

23. love: me :-)

24. my relationships with both my mother and my father are very healthy. I speak to both of my parents on a regular basis, see both of them regularly, as well as make extra efforts and vacation time with both parents. my parents are divorced but have always gotten along and not fucked each other over. I’ve honestly had good experiences with my parents being divorced and I’ve always had a fully functioning family. I’m very grateful for that.

25. christmas!!!! love the time of year, presents, the essence of christmas, luv it all

26. my closest twitter/tumblr/internet friend has ALWAYS got to be @fioredinotte :-) luv u pookie

27. again, @fioredinotte duh

28. I’m kind of a hypocrite sometimes. I think it’s totally cool for me to do whatever I want and have no standards but I hold people I love to the highest standards and I have to really break down those walls from time to time :-/

29. being talked down to, not telling me what I wanna hear, and class

30. dogs!

31. I don’t have any pets of my own :-/ my current roommate has a lil dog named Bree and my roommate for next year has a dog named Maggie, so I kinda have companionship, but I do not have any pets of my own

32. my grades

33. my bf and I’s argument. we keep fighting today about dumb ass shit and I’m ready for it to be over with. but like I keep getting annoyed by the dumb shit that he keeps saying

34. when I burned down the microwave at work because I was making a bagel but not watching it :-)

35. I work at the Student Activity Center at my school under venue management/event services as well as I also work for Providence Country Club as a waiter.

36. sex lol. in good & bad ways

37. habits: I’m late to EVERYTHING (literally every single thing I do guys), drinking coffee on any given day, and being a smartass

38. to graduate college, to be able to fully support myself emotionally and financially, to become a psychologist of some sort

39. it’s weird but sometimes I fantasize about my sex stories in the past and I get happy that I did whatever I did lmfaoooo

40. H&M, PacSun, and Forever 21

41. pizza, chicken (wings, nuggets, anything), pasta, mexican, p much anything there is to offer :-)

42. yesterday I woke up, had sex, went home, showered, went out to eat at chickfila, went to the local mall and bought some new clothes from H&M, worked at the SAC from 7-10p, and hung out with my friend Taylor

43. being a douchebag lol

44. driving out to a field or meadow and having a candle lit dinner with my partner. then going to another spot of the meadow and using a big blanket and pillows to get high and have sex. that’d be perfect and funny lol

45. Ilana Wexler and Channing Tatum. prob more but I can’t think of anyone else rn

46. pass

47. mine own :-)

48. 0-2, preferrably boys

49. I smoke weed very often, drink alcohol often, and smoke tobacco rarely

50. thx for reading guys :-))))))

#personal #quiz #yay #bored #work #lol

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ruwithmeguys · 7 years

Note

MG said the song for episode 20 is Until You Come Back To Me. The lyrics are sad and it sounds like Oliver's just going to wait some more. And he said it takes 2 to break up: does she think she has to apologise or something? It was his fault! This sounds like a very painful episode...

Are we setting ourselves up for a fallhere? Are we looking forward to an episode (20) that’s going to basically tellus why Olicity are the way they are with each other and that’s it? There’ll beno reunion? Just this recognition of what happened and why but nothingmore?

Is that what you actually took from those lyrics and the spoilers?

…Um.

Honestly? (Please don’t be offended) I 100% disagree… (Feelfree to disagree with; I could be very wrong).

The lyrics from Until You Come Back to Me… First I need to point out that I thinksome people take them as a step by step representation of the episode when theyreally shouldn’t be. Not one of MG’s song choices have been 100% accurate inregards to the contents in any episode. What they DO do is create an overallfeel for what might be shown/seen and it’s usually in regard to Olicity. Butbecause they’re taken so seriously they are often misinterpreted and thus thedepression starts…

But… sad? THESE LYRICS? I’d say the exact opposite.

I absolutely adore them.

They give me nothing but hope.

To understand why though, you need to look – REALLY LOOK – at Oliver.

Yes, I know, whynot Felicity, right?

Well… because Oliver is Felicity.

Let’s look at their respective emotional positions this season.

Now we haven’t been given a lot of detail into this and I feel likethat’s for a reason. A good one. As said by @jbuffyangel usually the pacing ofArrow seasons has each build up to a climax, usually with the final 5 episodesfocused on - and being primarily occupied - by the most important aspect of theshow for that season. Something that sends a message. Something that’s beenlong since coming, something for the protagonist to either earn or realise orrequire for strength (or a mix of the 3). So it makes sense that Olicity’s‘confrontation’ is in episode 20, right before the final 3.

But other than this, I bet you’re wondering why it took them so long?

Well, there’s @marcguggenheimanswer: there were other stories to tell and there were. He’s right: we can’t sacrifice story-lines to propel a romance we KNOWis going to happen. And we also know that once they do happen, they’ll probablybe at the forefront of a lot of stories come season 6 (something for which I amgreatly looking forward to).

But there’s also a second part to it that, if Marc explained, wouldprobably ruin whatever surprise is coming our way.

At the beginning of the season, wesee Oliver + Felicity working perfectly in unison with each other, but there’san edge. Stephen referred to it asrobotic; kind of like how he was throughout season1. A deliberate way of acting byStephen and Emily, an unconscious expression of behaviour for Oliver andFelicity.

In what I’ve seen (which albeit,isn’t much) people – ex-partners – usually do this when they’ve either a) beenhurt and are defending themselves from further hurt or b) areunable to face something that also/still hurts. See the theme?

It’s about pain.

But, from what I’ve seen floating around on tumblr, a lot of people seemto think Oliver was waiting for Felicity and that he closed the door to ‘them’after he found out she was dating, but I don’t think that’s correct.

Was he hoping? Hell yes. He’s always hoping she’ll turn around and give him anotherchance, always hoping he can become a better man for her.

But, was he WAITING?

No he wasn’t. Oliver had fully accepted that Felicity had said no, buthe still kept the door open for her to come back through if she wanted to… shedidn’t.

But he didn’t close it.

He just decided to further accepther choice and resigned himself to whatever came his way in his life. Resigned. How lonely a word that is. He didn’t go fishing, he didn’t search for romance, he didn’t even glance upwards (hedidn’t: watch the episodes).

Instead, he simply said yes to the first offer he received.

After watching episodes 16, 17 and 18; I think I now understand why.

Oliver accepted long ago that hewasn’t worthy of Felicity. I just didn’t know that he hasn’t stopped feelingthat way.

In season 3 + 4 Felicity got him tosee that he did in fact have self worth and he started to see it in himselftoo; he started to believe. But not once did he think he was truly worthyof Felicity. Did he think he was the luckiest man on the planet because shechose him to love above all others? Very much so. But he considers himselflucky because she chose to love a man who will always be deficit, a man whowears a monster as a mask.

And after they broke up, whyearnestly look for that kind of happiness again when he doesn’t feel he’sworthy of the happiness he did receive- because he proved he didn’t by destroying it - because what he wants aboveall else he knows he can’t have again?

Why try to win her back, to turn herhead around when he feels – in his core – that he isn’t just unworthy of her,but that there’s something very wronginside of him? Why put that on her again?

She’ll only suffer for it and he’s caused her enough.

So he settled. And accepted. Therewas no movingon. But there was also no waiting forher to come back. It would be insulting to both of them for him to do that.

And now Oliver has lost what little hope he did have.

It’s as if, without Felicity, heslowly lost sight of the good he cando and everything good thatcan happen in life.

Which comes to this point: since weknow how he feels about himself now – someone sick at the core who ruins lives,someone who takes pleasure in the kill – do you honestly think that episode 20is going to be about Oliver telling Felicity thathe understands nowwhere he went wrong, has grown from it, has dealt with his trauma, accepts herdecision and will wait for her as she goes on her dark path…?

…Yeah, I’m going to give a big fat NO onthat one.

He isn’t close toseeing that light. It’s right there but he just can’t see the wood for thetrees and there are so many…

What he wants rightnow (ep19?) is to keep Felicityfrom falling down with him because he sees her jumping into Helix’s arms aresult of his own darkness infecting her.

He doesn’t realise that she has her own ‘dark’ to experiment with –something she needs to do to understand herself more and her own insecurities.He also doesn’t realise that Adrian’s words are in his head speaking for him.

Who else could possibly make him see through that, other than Felicity?I mean, IT’S FELICITY: the one who taught him that he does have light insidehim.

That line Oliver says, about her beingthe unforeseen force Adrian didn’t count on? Well, maybe he did. Maybe he’spart of Helix, maybe he isn’t. But I guarantee Adriandidn’t count on her influence on Oliver.

Adrian implanted Oliver with a notion that no longer holds true, hasn’theld true for a while now.

Of course heenjoyed darkness. Of course he relished killing.Of course he wanted it.

After five years fighting to live, how else is he supposed tocompartmentalise? It only told me that he is one smart cookie.

Oliver feels things deeply. He experiences emotions on levels that couldcripple most. How do you think he could ever deal with doing what he’s had todo over and over again in the years he had to survive alone? If he doesn’tlearn to like it then he has to admit each time that he hates it and constanthate is extra weight (added to guilt etc) that slows you down. Get’s youkilled.

And he promised his father he’d survive.

THAT was how he chose to survive.Subconsciously, his mind knew enough to see he needed to change. To fit this constantly hostile environment. So he learned to like it.

It’s a subliminal, near neurological response: a lot of militarypersonnel – soldiers (usually not officers) front line guys, squad vets andspecial forces – probably do the same. They learn to somewhat - if not enjoywhat they do - then take comfort in their ‘work’ in differing ways and usually,they adapt towards the environments that create such feelings and that can bewhere the PTSD comes from.

OH LOOK AT THAT! A CONNECTIVE POINT!

PTSD often shows itself most when thesufferer has to return to normalcy. When they have to experience quiet again,kindness again (things that remind you you’re alive and human) and face thecreature they’ve been forced to become.

Oliver never did; his PTSD has come out in various ways (hyper vigilanceetc) but the most prevalent is his habit towards self destruction. His lies.

His way of hiding his dark.

The Hood.

The problem, was that he split himself down the centre in the hopes ofseparating himself from it when he never needed to. It’s like being analcoholic. You can’t split that from yourself; you have to confront it. It’spainful and it can takes years.

In creating the divide he gave his darkness room to breathe.

I think… (guessing)he lied to Felicity about William to protect himself. To unknowingly defend andconceal his weakness/his darkness. A man/woman suffering PTSD is always on thedefence. He/she expects the worst of any situation and as such, creates theworse possible outcome each time.

I don’t think we should beconcentrating on why Oliver lied, but on why he feels he has to do that, on why he keeps doing it. Why he keeps making that same mistake, as he does every singleseason.

Seeing it in that perspective, puts what he did in a more sympatheticlight. Does it make it right? Nope. Not a chance. But it gives us anunderstanding as to why he’d do that to the one person he never had to hidefrom. Here’s hoping we get some clues/answers.

Now, Oliver was the impetus that broke their relationship… but Felicitywas the one who broke them up.

That is her mark to bare.

PLEASE! NOWBEFORE PEOPLE START THROWING THINGS AT ME, PLEASE GIVE ME A MOMENT:

Breaking up with him was the right option; what he did required that jolt of reality. She needed that… butit’s her reasons why she did that are the problem.

Notice how she never gave him – her Oliver– a second chance? Why? He’s the love of her life: why hold so steadfastly tosomething that makes them both miserable? Neither of them have given one honestsmile all sodding year!!

So… why do this to them? (Because they’ll never be a ‘him’ and ‘her’.They’re an ‘US’ always and forever. What happens to her happens to him,so why?)

Again, I might be very wrong but, I think Felicity kept that door closedsimply because she saw in Oliver all the things she feared. She saw a man whowould one day leave her, who would do as her father did, as Cooper did… andwhat was so wrong with her that they kept leaving?

So she left him. She left him. She needs to see that. And I think she does.

And because she does - because she’sunderstanding about her own darkness - she can understand his, she’ll see him. I mean, is it any surprise after seeing season 2, 3, 4 and this season that it’s Felicity who might see the light (metaphoricallyspeaking)?

I REALLY DON’T think Oliver is in any kind of place to do so, do you?

If these two love birds had beenready for marriage, if they’d been ready for each other, if they’d understood the way they thought they’d had. Oliver wouldn’t have lied.

But even if he had (devil’s advocate)… they would have fought. Argueduntil the walls shook. Eviscerated each other with words if necessary untilthey’re this raw nerve that bows only to honesty. So they’d inevitably have sex- because that’s always an honest expression of emotion - the kind thatwears into the bone, until you feel nothing, until you can’t breathe. Then maybethey’d cry… then laugh.

Until it’s sorted.

They weren’t there yet.

So those lyrics?

I am so sorry that I bothered youNow I know why you have to hideI didn’t know what you were going throughAll I could see was my own signI will just fade awayI will let you be hereI won’t say a word until you come to meUntil you come to meUntil you come to meThey just tell me what you’re in there forHow could I know you did not say?But now I know what I am living forTomorrow will be just another dayI will close my eyesAnd I hear a quiet peepI will wait in the shadows until you come to meUntil you come to meUntil you come to me, ohAh, sweet youth will all too quickly endAnd we will never be this freeSo all I ask is that we look againBefore we grow too old to seeI will fall aloneMy elm was sweet and envyStill I will be crying until you come to meUntil you come to meUntil you come to me, ah

I’m not going to analyse it all because there’s no point: it isn’t a bitby bit sketch of the episode.

But it tells me that theunderstanding we’ve been waiting for Felicity to reach, may finally be herebecause Oliver knows he fucked up.

He knows he did this to them, knowshe destroyed them. But unless she understands his vulnerability, his weakness, his heart - then nothing will change. Maybe it’sup to her. To lead him into the right direction so he can takethat step into the light himself.

“How could I know, you did not say?”

It’s suggestive: in the episode they might both basically say ‘I get it now and I‘m sorry.’

But I’m right here… untilyou come to me.

It looks like that so-called closed door will get opened waaaaaay wide(about time right?)

Unless I’m completely wrong and ridiculous etc

But MG is kind of genius with this stuff (Oliver and his darkness andthe light and Felicity) so I’m remaining hopeful.

I think it might be pretty brutalin regards to honestly; they haven’t talked all season so we aren’t sued to itbut that might be the effect that they’ve aimed for: like a kamikaze run. Shockand awe.

Also, I DON’T think there’ll be a reunion in episode20 and THANK GOD for that. I don’t want it resolved in 1 episode. I do however think it’ll set up the next 3 eps.

I wrote a post weeks ago statingthat 1 good, LONG and brutally honest conversation was all it would take forOlicity to get back together. I can’t tell you how unbelievably psyched I’ll beif turns out to being even close to true.

So… I hope that answered that(not quite an ask, ask) for you. I’ve only been receiving asks for a littlewhile (it’s always surprising) and thankfully, it’s only sporadically because Ican’t answer some of the few I get and I’m always terrified at the potentialreaction I may receive!

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jasonmcgathey · 5 years

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Columbus References In Popular Culture

This page is dedicated to fictional works which have either been set in or referenced dear old Columbus, or else nonfictional ones which mention our fair city, though not entirely set here (if interested in documents which were actually created here, and/or by C-bus residents, see my “C-bus Artifacts” tab instead). Many of these occurred when the city was even more obscure than it is now, and therefore felt all the more bizarre:

100% Fresh – Adam Sandler (stand up comedy special). This Netflix offering was filmed in part at the Schottenstein Center. I haven’t seen it but the one pun I’ve heard about calling this the “Schlongenstein Center” sounds pretty lame. Amazingly, enough, however, considering it came out in 2018, this received some fairly strong Rotten Tomato scores – although the weirdest aspect might be that Paul Thomas Anderson filmed part of it. Then again, that could explain the robust reviews.

Family Ties – (TV series). Unless I’m missing something, they don’t come right out of the gate declaring where this sitcom family lives. Having said that, you’re immediately aware that the series has a very Ohio-ish feel to it – someone involved with the show’s creation clearly must have been from here. Many of us thought it completely mindblowing that there was a girl named Jenny Keaton at our school. Elise even kind of reminded me of my stepmom at the time. But I don’t actually remember anyone making a big deal of or for that matter even noticing at the time that this show was supposed to be set in this neck of the woods, probably due to this slow reveal.

As I begin binge watching the seasons, the first Ohio reference I notice at all doesn’t occur until episode 4. This older chick’s trying to seduce Alex and he’s attempting to cool her down with jokes about the Cleveland Indians (safe to say this was a suitably frosty topic circa 1982). And I don’t detect even an oblique mention of Columbus until the 6th episode, when one of Steven’s coworkers jokes about filming Woody Hayes’s house for half an hour. It’s a funny line on its own, but assumes a whole other surreal luster if you are actually watching the episodes in order and have no clue about their location.

Over time, it’s eventually established that Steven works at the Columbus PBS station. Though everyone in my family seemed to agree that he was the funniest character on the show, Alex became the breakout star and it probably explains why Michael J. Fox was the token celebrity here for Hands Across America. Rumors began to surface that the show’s creators had the Bexley area in mind when crafting this timeless family comedy, but, I don’t know, it doesn’t really look like Bexley to me. I’m thinking more like the older parts of Upper Arlington, or possibly Gahanna.

Other references of note:

Season 2, Episode 4 – Mallory receives a letter from the (fictional, as far as I know) Columbus Express newspaper saying she won this mother/daughter modeling contest, and will be featured in the Sunday supplement.

Season 2, Episode 12 – Steven says he hopes to catch the OSU-Iowa game on TV. This would have been the 1983 season. Just for entertainment value I looked up the result of this particular contest – the Buckeyes lost, 20-14, falling to a 2-1 record on the year. In the actual episode, OSU is down 16-12 on the final play of the game and this bratty kid Steven’s babysitting messes up his reception.

Season 2, Episode 14 – Tom Hanks guest stars for the 2nd time as Elise’s brother. Considering that he’s a wee bit too fond of drink these days, the family convinces him to call AA. Upon doing so, he initially makes a lame joke to the receptionist, about selling her a subscription to the Columbus Express.

This is as far as I’ve made it thus far with my binge watching research. However, this topic seems so urgent that I’m rushing to press with what I’ve got. Expect continual reports as I work through all 7 seasons.

Little Man Tate – (movie). While mostly filmed in Cincinnati, some Columbus footage is shot and makes the cut. Found among these scenes are the Wexner Center for the Arts, and downtown’s Ohio Theatre.

Our Towns – James and Deborah Fallows (nonfiction book): It’s kind of a murky, unformed premise, and I also found their writing style a little dull. But this husband and wife duo decide to fly themselves around, checking out what makes certain “small towns” in America tick. Of course even they admit it’s a bit ridiculous to refer to Columbus as a small town, although they usually don’t clarify what criteria made them choose which places, Columbus included. There’s a moderately informative chat with former mayor Michael Coleman, and the library director and a couple of other figures around town, but I wouldn’t really call this a highly engaging read.

Permanent Midnight – Jerry Stahl (memoir): This is a thoroughly engrossing read on its own, as a well-known screenwriter documents his struggles with drug addiction. The Columbus parts all occur early in the book, and are fun for different reasons, as he chronicles his early days working for Hustler magazine (I had no idea it started here, until reading this) while living at a YMCA here in C-bus.

Point Break: Who among us can ever possibly forget that Keanu Reeves’s character, the immortal Johnny Utah, is a quarterback for Ohio State before blowing out his knee, and therefore joining the FBI?

Ready Player One: The novel sets some of the action in Columbus, especially along High Street, but these references feel a little hokey and unnecessary. For the film version, Steven Spielberg decided to move the hero’s home to Columbus entirely, which might be arbitrary but is also less awkward. If I had to hazard a guess as to where The Stacks would be located, I’m going with Marble Cliff. Somewhere around that whole quarry area et cetera on McKinley Avenue.

Road Outside Columbus – O.A.R. (song). Of A Revolution are a curious case. The four original members formed this band and even released a couple of albums while still living in Maryland – and then all four of them moved here to attend OSU, adding a fifth member while doing so. They played out a ton while in school here, and were a popular draw, as I remember for example the girl who lived next door to us was majorly into them, she and all her friends. They were constantly going out to see this band play in bars all around town. Still, having said that, I don’t consider them a Columbus band. To my knowledge they never recorded any music here. I can see the argument both ways, but it feels more like an extended residency.

Road Outside Columbus has to be the best song I’ve heard from them. It’s a pleasant, catchy, Dave Matthews style jam from their 2003 album, In Between Now And Then. The subject matter is fairly obvious as Marc Roberge sings about having found his second home, though only living here a short while, even namechecking Riverside Drive and High Street in the process. And actually I think these lyrics even bolster my case that they are technically not a Columbus band, seem to be admitting as much themselves.

Roadshow – Neil Peart (nonfiction book): This really entertaining and in-depth document, written by the drummer for rock legends Rush, chronicles his decision to travel from show to show on the 2004 tour via motorcycle. He briefly mentions a show at Polaris, though no details are provided. Apparently has some family living just outside of Columbus, though, and he visits that Motorcycle Hall Of Fame in Pickerington.

The Simpsons – (TV series). Season 29’s Grampy Can You Hear Me episode is partially set at OSU. It mentions Brutus Buckeye and there’s a scene depicting the Oval.

“The Soul Is Not A Smithy” – David Foster Wallace (short story). In this tale from the Oblivion collection, a 4th grade teacher suffers a meltdown and takes hostages. I remember the kid narrating it mentions goofing around along the Olentangy River. Also trying to decide where this fictional school would be located, based upon the vague descriptions, and figuring that it must be in Upper Arlington, somewhere around Reed Road.

Teachers – (movie). This inner city school drama was filmed entirely here in town. It’s an okay if somewhat cheesy flick mostly recommended to those interested in spotting landmarks around town, and/or Nick Nolte fans. The soundtrack is probably better.

Traffic – (movie). Some of the scenes were filmed in Columbus, I think all of them downtown. Back in their snarky, pre-Dispatch ownership days, The Other Paper ran a pretty comical piece detailing how Michael Douglas successfully avoided them while filming.

Vitale – Dick Vitale (memoir). OSU had never enjoyed much of a basketball program as of this book’s creation in the late 1980’s. Nonetheless, Dick predicts that freshly minted coach Gary Williams will elevate the Buckeyes to regular top ten threats and national title contenders. Williams lasts three seasons, displaying very little of this alleged prowess.

The post Columbus References In Popular Culture appeared first on Love Letter To Columbus.

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#books #movies #television #100% Fresh #Adam Sandler #David Foster Wallace #Family Ties #Jerry Stahl

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recentnews18-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/liev-schrieber-snl-sketches-ranked-dan-crenshaws-sick-pete-davidson-burn-robert-de-niros-epic-return/

Liev Schrieber 'SNL' Sketches Ranked: Dan Crenshaw's Sick Pete Davidson Burn, Robert De Niro's Epic Return

Pete Davidson put his foot in his mouth with a bad joke about Congressional candidate Dan Crenshaw’s eye patch last week on “Saturday Night Live,” so Crenshaw came back this week to get his revenge and did so in epic fashion.

As for the actual host, Liev Schreiber is not known as a funny man, as he readily admitted in his monologue, so most of the jokes were done around him and with him playing it very straight. And to his credit, he does that very well. The same goes for Robert De Niro, who dropped by as Robert Mueller again in a surprise cameo.

And for a guy known for very serious work, like “Ray Donovan,” Liev did manage to bring plenty of laughs to a mostly successful show. One sketch later in the night was so stupidly hilarious that almost no one involved in it could keep a straight face, and Liev lost it with Kate McKinnon in another.

The audience loves it when cast-members break, but these weren’t breaks in a way that derailed either sketch.

Elsewhere and as expected, “SNL” tackled the firing of Jeff Sessions, allowing Kate one more chance to shine, as well as the White House intern who became embroiled in the middle of the Jim Acosta scandal after his credentials were revoked and Sarah Huckabee Sanders released doctored footage of his exchange with the intern as evidence to justify the decision.

As usual, we’re ranking all the sketches from worst to first, including the Cold Open and the regular “Weekend Update” segments. We’ll skip the musical guests, because they’re not usually funny – unless Ashlee Simpson shows up. We wrap up with a look at the cast-member who had the strongest week.

MONOLOGUE – Liev Schreiber

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Liev Schreiber came out with a monologue about how he is not particularly known for being funny, which he thinks is great because it’s all about “managing expectations.” He also appeared to be very nervous, stumbling over several lines along the way. Or maybe it’s because, as he pointed out, he said more words in this monologue than in the entire fifth season of “Ray Donovan.” So don’t fault this sketch for sitting at the bottom as it wasn’t supposed to be funny. It was to manage expectations and praise the more than 100 million people who voted in a midterm election.

The Poddys

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So this was a weird premise, a podcast awards show celebrating the most jarring transition into an advertisement and white women who are where they don’t belong. Liev Schreiber had fun as Michael Barbaro, stammering and stuttering his way through the nominees alongside Cecily Strong’s Sarah Koenig before Alex Moffat came out and owned an impression of Marc Maron. And they did nominees, shots to the audience and acceptance speeches, so the commitment to the premise was all in. Oh, and did we mention this was weird. Not even sure if it was funny, but man was it weird.

Outside the Women’s Bathroom

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Another weird sketch, this one featured Liev Schreiber filming a pilot for a talk show outside a women’s bathroom. It was mostly cringe humor, save for when Leslie Jones walked out and stared him down. She didn’t even have to save a word. While Liev messed up his lines a few times, it’s easy enough to pretend it was part of the character … but we know it wasn’t. For the most part, none of this ultimately came together as a successful sketch, but it did have a few memorable moments and funny bits, including Heidi Gardner as his poor date, abandoned at the table so he could film. But yeah, odd stuff.

Paranormal Experience

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We’ve seen this countless times, but it’s always worth seeing what ridiculous things Kate McKinnon’s trashy character had to endure, this time as it relates to ghosts. She compared Cecily Strong and Liev Schreiber’s stories to “Ghost” while hers was more “Beetlejuice.” And it was every bit as stupid and awful as we predicted. Oh, and she totally found a way to harass the guest, grinding her bottom on Liev’s chest as he tried to hide his laughter. At some point, these are going to stop being so funny, but so long as Kate keeps coming up with new rhyming ways to describe her frontside and backside, we’ll be there … a bit uncomfortable, but there.

Unity Song

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In a country divided, the cast came together to unite under all the things they dislike together. Because if there’s one thing modern Americans are good at, it’s bitching and complaining. As for the list, it includes the words “moist” and “crotch,” airplane pilots who say too much when there’s nothing going on and nothing when there’s too much going on and the damned chip reader sound. So yeah, they pretty much nailed this one. And you know what? We do feel better.

Booty Kings

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Future returned for this one, joining Chris Redd and Kenan Thompson as the Booty Kings with Uncle Butt (Pete Davidson) and Lil Wayne. It’s a typical hip-hop song about dat booty, but it’s also about consent and Time’s Up. What a bizarre combination, but with sharp writing it had wit and heart. We love the women in the club (Ego Nwodim and Melissa Villasenor) stunned that the guys are respecting their boundaries. At the same time, it’s sad that this was so funny because it’s so unexpected that guys can be decent in this scenario. We still laughed, though.

COLD OPEN – Jeff Sessions

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It was an inevitable as sunset, but still appropriate that Kate McKinnon got to say farewell to her brilliant take on Jeff Sessions in the cold open. “Goodbye trusty Bible,” she said as packing up her awful. “I justified a lot of bad things with this book.” As he packed, he was visited by Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Aidy Bryant), Mike Pence (Beck Bennett), and even Eric (Alex Moffat) and Don Jr. (Mikey Day). In a closing surprise, Robert Mueller (Robert De Niro) dropped by for a final farewell. The whole thing was more of a bizarrely touching tribute to her performance, with plenty of possum jokes and just brilliance from McKinnon for what’s hopefully not the last time.

Weekend Update

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First up, Colin Jost and Michael Che broke down the midterms, with Jost quickly tempering the left’s enthusiasm by reminding them Trump still control everything except the House, including the media, space, time and our ability to perceive reality. Che gave it up to Stacy Abrams taking on a white man in Georgia in a runoff election where he’s also in charge of the election. “That’d be like taking on LeBron [James] at home where he’s also the ref. It’s an uphill battle to say the least.”

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And then, in a brilliant little parody, Cecily Strong showed up as the White House intern who tried to take Jim Acosta’s mic and she proved just as disruptive here. And then they doubled down on the intern story with their own doctored video in response to the one Sarah Huckabee Sanders showed to justify revoking Acosta’s press credentials. We think this one is more believable.

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The guys then moved on to other topics, with their won funny reason Justice Ginsburg broke three ribs, and calling new acting Attorney General Michael Whitaker a Michael Chiklis (“The Shield”) impersonator.

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Dan Crenshaw dropped by “Weekend Update” to confront Pete Davidson directly after last week’s poorly-received joke comparing Crenshaw to a pirate in a porno. And boy, he didn’t have to say anything to shade Pete in the most epic way possible. It’s all in the ringtone. Damn!

House Hunters

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Liev Schreiber and Leslie Jones were the couple trying to decide between all the houses they’d looked at and if you love how ridiculous this show is but wish it were even more ridiculous, this is the sketch for you. We loved the gas stove in the middle of the bed, and the fenced in backyard for Liev’s sister to run around in. Oh, and did he mention his man cave? He definitely wants his man cave. They absolutely nailed it with this one. Now the actual show will just be a letdown.

Brotherly Love

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Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney portrayed two grade-school brothers struggling to impress the neighbors. Let’s see, Liev Schrieber was their father who kept a garden hose in the house to hose them down when they got too rowdy and that was always. Beck and Kyle were so into these roles that the rest of the cast couldn’t even keep it together as their antics got more over-the-top and stupid.

Good Day Denver

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Reporter Cecily Strong accidentally referred to Mikey Day and Alex Moffat as the “incest” twins rather than the “invest” twins. That’s the catalyst for this whole thing, but anything that gives us the great comedic chemistry of Day and Moffat together is worth it. Everything they said was double entendres and really creepy with the graphic “Incest Twins” below them in this news segment parody. And they went pretty far down this particular rabbit hole and every bit of it worked. Clever writing, top-notch commitment from everyone equals a disturbingly funny sketch.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

While Mikey Day, Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett turned in some amazing work it came down to veterans Kate McKinnon and Cecily Strong this week. McKinnon treated us to another brilliant Jeff Sessions and her ghost story was both terrifying and– well, it was just terrifying.

But we’re going to have to give the edge to Cecily Strong, who pantomimed beautifully as the White House intern, and kept things moving during the “incest” sketch as well as embodying a wholly different vibe with her ghost story, as well as anchoring the “Unity” song and mostly keeping it straight in the brothers sketch.

I will take arguments for Kate, though, as this was easily one of the tightest battles of the season and she had two very strong sketch appearances on a more balanced night across the cast.

“Saturday Night Live” returns next week with host Steve Carell and musical guest Ella Mai at 11:35 p.m. et on NBC.

Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at [email protected].

View Photos Getty All The Barely-There Looks From the 2018 Victoria’s Secret After Party

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