#I keep thinking about 7 years ago when I was sort of dating and how it often felt like being an imposter

[relocatedheads]

would you write eddie munson x fem!reader smut?

where eddie’s chilling in his girls‘s room, bored because she’s taking a shower. he’s kinda snoopin’ around & finds a pastel pink book. he’s curious & starts reading it, realizing it’s her diary. he skips to the last page, dated just a few days ago. his eyes widen, not believing what he’s reading about his innocent girl.

sure they had sex. and not that vanilla, too. but he would’ve never thought his girl had thoughts like that. on this very page, his girl wrote her hidden fantasies. things she never even thought of telling eddie, too embarrassed. she’s talking about how she wants to call eddie „daddy“, or be choked, be humiliated to the brim, be filled by his cum till he’s dry, want him to be in complete control. she wants to be fully submitted to him.

before he can put the diary away she comes out of the bathroom, catching him. he confronts her & she tells him how embarrassed she is etc. they talk it out & he reversals that some of the stuff she likes he likes too. then they make out & they try out some of the stuff.

Oh my god you're an evil genius, time I put my 4 years of journaling to good use! - also ive been working on this all week and the 'h' key on my keyboard keeps getting stuck and its making typing no longer fun :/

Written Fantasies

Summary: ^^ the ask Pairing: Eddie x Reader Trigger Warnings: Smut / Embarrassment / hands on throats - no chocking Content Warnings: Diary Reading / blow jobs / impoliteness / shoe frontage / demands / deep throating / reader masturbation

MY EDDIE MASTERLIST BABY!!!!!!!

The space was as recognisable as the back of his hand, and as comforting as his denim vest: lightly coloured walls, cabinets around the room, shelves and counter tops filled trinkets and lifes memorabilia: photos of events, pretty candles, books, small trinkets of days out, wrist bands and broken watches that simply just meant too much.

Things changed every time he entered this space: photos changed frames, boxes gained new records, the cassette piles grew, and the books changed order.

Eddie clocked - while laying on your bed waiting for you to come back from your shower - that not only had the books changed but new ones were added. when he sat up to take a better look: there were 4 books, all identical sat up together leaning on a pile of published books.

The 4 were pink, all the same size, some slightly thicker, one especially thinner. All with individual dates written into their spines: 1983, 1984,1985, 1986. He weren't no idiot, his brain sorted that they were diaries.

He felt a twinge of pride for you to have the left out on display - almost like trophies, proud of your past. He knew a lot about you but you'd seemed to have never told him you wrote a diary. Eddie knew it was standard procedure you don't read people diary: just as you don't snoop in artists sketch books or dungeon masters binders. But who would he be kidding if he said he didn't wanna read it.

He thought a moment, concentrating and recognising the shower was still running. He didn't have to think too much, the boy was running on curiosity alone. Sat up on the edge of your bed, he leant over and pulled 1986 into his hands.

It started with him just flicking the pages: most of it empty; a few loose sheets tucked into the back; a pen clipped to the elastic closer. The filled side of the book was set out meticulously: a yearly planner already almost filled with exams, cheer practice, birthdays, appointments, dates with Eddie, every Tuesday marked with Hideout at 7, every odd Friday marked Hellfire!.

There was this warmness in his heart, knowing his life was just as important to you as it was for him. He believed every I love you, but know he understood every I love you.

He flicked through the book more: budget planners, goal pages, period trackers, and the body. Filled with your typical too-curly-to-read handwriting, every page filled line for line. Some sitting half empty signifying the end of an entry.

Eddie couldn't possibly understand what you had to write about for long that you wouldn't just tell him or your friends.

He found the dog eared page, the scruffily written date marking yesterday. Eddie smiled to himself, feeling a little giddy. He knew he shouldn't but he really couldn't stop himself.

As he read down the page: a recall of your date to the record store and diner, small notes of your gushing over Eddie's chivalry (he always thought holding doors open and little pet names were usual things), a detailed explanation of his outfit and how you loved it (he read that a few times, remember to wear his little thigh harness around you more often.). And as he continued to read, the writting felt less confident, as though there as a topic waited to be hinted at.

He skipped over to the next page and down it, finding a few words grabbing his eyes: touch myself, embarrassing, chocked, him, daddy.

His eyebrows rested in his hairline, eyes almost leaving his skull, the warmth on his checks wasn't imagined. He jumped back a few lines:

Jesus I feel 14 again. I dont know why he does this to me. I see him everyday, and yet im still pinning over him like he's some untouchable deity.

He reads down

We have sex so much but like every night I end up touching myself thinking about- its so embarrassing! I feel like ive been poisoned!! literally none of my friends are like this about their boyfriends!

yeah we all talk about sex but they all have usual sex and normal fantasies but like I feel like a deviant. if I ever told anyone what I really want they'd all look at me so weird

but if I think about sex with him about him all I can think of is his hands and his lips and his voice! and if Im actually honest with myself, all I want is him. I cant stop. ive got into this habit of thinking about him before I go to bed and like every night I touch myself to him.

literally seem like I cant just have him- and I so can but I want so much more!

like if I really thought about it: I'd love him to just use me, do whatever. He could fuck me, make me fuck him, cum in me, chock me, spit on me and I'd be so fucking happy!

Or like, my brain keeps thinking to what if we're fucking and someone hears or we're almost gonna get caught and it turns me on so much! I feel like a pervert.

Eddie felt himself hold his breath.. he was no prude, under his bed was riddled with lost porn mags, he know a lot about kinks and fetishes but something about hearing from you - sweet, quite, calm you- shit! He was getting all flustered.

And like also! keep calling him Daddy in my mind too - I dont know where thats come from but it feels so right! I just really want him to just have his way with me. I dont know how on earth I tell him this. this is so embarrassing.

Eddie was transfixed by your confessions: the sound of the water had slipped his ears. Let alone, he hadn't heard the floor creak and wind chance as you entered the room.

"Jesus babe! You scared me- can't make a guy jump like that!" He yelped, the towel hitting the bed making him jump back into real time.

You laughed at him at first... until your eyes danced around him... and what he had in his hand. You didnt need to ask to know. And almost instantly you felt your body tense, mind go blank and cheek redden. Hands sat in on each other, lips rolled in, eye popping out almost. "Um-"

Confident as ever, he laid back into your pillows, straightening out his legs, "Didn't know you thought like this, Sweetheart.." He started reading, "Kinda want him to fill me until hes dry-"

You leapt onto him - to be honest the word doesn't cut it. You practically jumped on him, trying to grab the book from him but he was swift... dodging your hands artfully as he continued reading. His light and teasing voice was harmonised by your loud commands for him to stop. The room had laughter too: Yours was embarrassment and his was humour.

After a particularly wobbly Eddie! he put the book down, giving you a perfect moment to sling it back onto your cabnit. "Please stop." You frowned.

"Awe sorry baby," He laughed, pulling you down for a cuddle, "It's really hot though." You whined, "It is! Fuck babe," He sighed, "I really didn't think you'd wanna do anything like that!" It surpassed you how he had this ability to never be ashamed or embarrassed about anything. He dipped his head into your neck, "Like being chocked, filled with my cum. fuck, even messy..."

"Shut up!" You leant up, hands flying to his face, coving his mouth and you were straddled to his hips. "I can't believe you- I'm so embarassed!"

"Why?" Earnest and lovie as he moved your hands down.

"You were never meant to find out..."

"Why, you know im into anything?"

"Embarassing."

"No its not."

"yes, it is."

"You know," he started rubbing your thighs, "I'd love to fuck you dumb, fill you up, have you all messy-"

Now you'd be lying if you said he wasn't affecting you- you were embarrassed but so secretly turned on. Your tummy tensed, the blood went to your head, your thighs stiffened. But still your embarrassment was bigger, "Stop making fun of me!"

"Baby baby baby" He cooed, pulling your hands from your face, "I promise i'm really not."

You whined at him, he mimicked you back, pulling you down for a delicate honest kiss. It was deep and slow, him offering his truth to you. And who wouldn't melt into that? His hands now found your hip and your neck, in to your lips his mumbled "Roll over."

You gasp as he rearranges you both, your back now to the bed, "Wanna try something." He sat up continuing, "We can't your little sexual fantasies now-" You squirm in embarrassment, "But" He began stroking your cheek in efforts to pull you out your head. "I wanna try something new.""

He leant down planting a sweet kiss to your lips though you tried to chase him for a second, he was already moving down into your neck, planting even sweeter ones there. You could never stay quiet for his sightly chapped lips and heavy hands - small mewls slipped from you. "Good girl." Quiet, practically breathed from Eddie.

"We can't try the public-people-home stuff, but" another neck kiss, "I do.." another kiss to the other side, "really like the idea" a kiss under your ear, "of having you fully submitted" a kiss to the shell of your ear "to me"

The way you gasp makes Eddie sure he's hit gold with you. As he talks, your hand in his hair pulls and squeezes more, "How about," He moves along to kiss your cheek, "I get you on your knees" Another kiss, "no pillow, because desperate whores don't deserve kind treatment." A light kiss to your lips, "And I let you blow me?" Another kiss, "But" Kiss "I'll be holding your head," He was now resting on his forearms, fingers lost in your hair, "Pushing and pulling you exactly how I want?" Another light kiss met with a hearty pull of your hair, "Fill that little mouth up with my cum."

God you were in heaven - how did you manage to get a boy like him. All you felt you could do was nod at him. A tap of your thigh and you were on the floor kneeling between his legs as he sat on the edge of your bed.

Looking up at him, the shy coy expression fell naturally on you, "Pretty girl, aren't you?" He complimented. "Get on with it then." It was like a switch was flipped.

Excitedly, you get his belt and jeans off. His dick was hard and pretty as ever - not too big but a little wide, a more red tint than the rest of him already bleeding pre cum.

You got personal with it, licking the beed off, replacing it with a kiss. Eddie couldn't help the sigh - you ruin him on the daily no matter what you do. You could get lost playing with his head. He helped by tucking your hair behind your ears, keeping his hands on your lower head and jaw.

The kisses turn into kitten licks met with you looking up at him, his spaced out satisfied look made you smile, "Shit- open your mouth for me."

Sat up a bit more, the head of is cock resting on your lower lip, palms lost behind his calves: you were ready to try something you never thought you'd get to. The hands in your hair pushing you down slowly, and pulled you back up even more delicately - he giving both of you the space to gauge how yous felt.

"Suck it a bit harder" You did. "fuck-you love this, don't you?" You nod.

It was really all he needed - he didn't even need verbal confirmation, just the feel of your nails in the backs of his legs and how your eyes were rolled back and closing was enough, not to mentions the light noises in your throat. He pushed you down with more force, hands now cupping your cheeks and jaw.

He didn't make you deep throat him - neither of you needed to go that far at the moment. The half of his dick that was still straining your jaw send your brains both tumbling.

Eddie yanked you off him with a rough tug to your hair pulling a throat whine out of you, "Shit babe- you're a little slut aren't you?"

You nodded dumbly, "For you- love you."

"I love you too," A thumb stroked your cheek, "Daddy loves you."

Maybe it was the name. Maybe it was the humiliating reminder he had read you diary. Maybe it was the whispering in the empty quiet house. Maybe it was just him. But you were sure he'd just written you off to hell. You felt a beed of slick drop from your cunt.

And Eddie practically felt it too: he could see the haze covering your pretty eyes and the cheeky smile that covered your face.

A thumb toyed with your lip, he continued, "Gotta get you a little collar with my name on it." And with that you basically purred at him. Eddie was sure he was lost in you as you started to barely suck his thumb.

He'd never had you so spaced and floaty. Sure you've both spoken through sex before but nothing like this, nothing so painfully skilled in what the other actually needs to hear. Sex had never felt so possessive until right now.

The sight of you both was like it was from a porno: you, puffy lipped, half lidded eyes and big breaths; Eddie, pointed look, panting, loved up eyes.

The other hand dropped from your cheek and sat around your neck back - the pressure alone made your eyes flutter - and the sight went straight to his dick.

He popped his thumb out your mouth and brung you up for a dirty, messy, deep kiss. No coordination, just lust. Teeth smacking teeth, uncomfortable postures, hands gripping and clawing where ever they could.

He pulled away, standing up as if to leave. But you whine is stopped when you see he leant against your cabinet. Very idolly, he picked up the diary searching for the place he left off on, commanding a "Come here" using his fingers to make a curling motion, not even bothering to look up at you. "Crawl" He sneers almost as you go to get up.

Granted the space wasn't so big so the crawl was more of an awkward on-you-knees- shuffle but boy did that embarrassment climb back up inside you. If this was with anyone else, the pang of embarrassment woulda been too much, but something in Eddies low murmured tone did something totally new to you. "You're a good little pet, aren't you?"

His eyes never left the book in front of him: flicking through pages, scanning for the right sentence. He began reading off again. Completely as though it was the Sunday news paper and not your kinkiest secret fantasies.

"Eddie stop-"

"You know thats not my name." Eyes still in the book, tone stern and cold. You positioned on your claves between his legs, just waiting. "Thought you liked this? I know this isn't as good as being caught but its pretty close, right?" Finally he looks over.

The sudden feeling of something under you made you squirm, "Go on," He continued, "Get yourself off while I read your silly little diary."

The feeling that swelled in your belly was indescribable. It was overwhelming, unignorable and life changing. Like a duckling to its mother, you blindly listened: beginning to slowly rub yourself on the top of his foot.

"Suck my cock too, Sweetheart." He completely disregards you, finally finding his place on the pages. But he didn't start reading until he could feel your lips kiss his cock head.

You try to loose yourself in kissing him and the weight on your tongue but the perching reminder of what he is reading keeps pulling you out. The blood in your ears and the cotton in your brain were getting thicker.

You felt a ring or two pull on the strands of your hair, your gasps causing you to suck his in harder. You felt the rings apply more of a push at certain points of Eddies reading.

It's all sort of too dirty to really feel like its real life. Nobody really experiences this stuff right? Like it's all just movie magic? Clearly not. Clearly somehow you'd hit the jackpot. Somehow in small little irrelevant Hawkins in the mid 80s, you'd met the jack pot.

The sound of a book hitting a surface pulls you from your slack, readjusting yourself back to the present, you felt two hands play with your hair with more intent.

"Fuck-you sure know how to suck a dick, don't you?" He tucked some behind your ear, making you look up at him "Who taught you that?"

"You-da-daddy." Jumbled delivery thanks to the cock in your mouth.

"Sorry couldn't hear you."

"da-daddy" You tried, but sadly coming out more like 'dabby' thanks to the 5 inch obstruction in your throat.

The palms by your ears tighten, "good" It was almost like an extended sigh, "You gonna take it? Tap me if it's too much, yah?" Serious and caring, you nod.

"Yes" You respond to the eyebrow raise, "Yes daddy."

"Good little thing, aren't you?" Another tuck of your hair, and he pulled your head back in opposition to his hips going forward. He was using you clearlessly, not yet pushing you down as deep as he could, but rather just enjoying your lightness.

The room enters a soundtrack of hisses and hums, some slurps and some groans.

"I told you to get yourself off." It wasn't rude but you felt like you were being told off. Your heart pinged in your chest.

It was annoying how good it felt. Yes your knees stung and the carpet has turned into staples but who cared. The hands behind your ears making you deep throat him were heaven, the foot under your clit was heaven, Eddies musky smell was heaven.

Hums and hisses turned into the sound of fabric rubbing and small 'fuck's and 'shit's. And at this rate the streams of dribble coming off your chin and too the floor was definitely anything but disgusting.

Looking up at him and seeing him looking down, heaven too. "Gonna cum in your mouth." You really couldn't help the whorish whine. "Don't swallow it."

Something about that single demand got you were you needed it too. The swelling between your legs seemed to his its peak, the sheen of sweat tripped and your body felt like it was burning. Finger burring into his thighs, tummy tensed: you came over his foot, eyes rolled into the back of your skull.

Eddie using this as the perfect moment to use you. Seeing a moment where you'd given him your everything, he gripped you harder and thrusted deeply into your throat.

Still in your post orgasm haze, the 2 boney hands drag you up by your arm pits, a leg helps keep you stood. "Open." You couldn't even see him at the moment, but you knew behind the black was a man staring at you with all his love.

So you did as he told. Mouth open, cum threatening to spill, "Good, swallow." There was a hand to your throat, and them butterflies danced again. And then there was a light press to your lips that helps bring your eyes back open.

Neither of you could help getting lost a bit in the other - this was a big step, a big new, a good thing too! Eddie broke your moment off and tucked you into his chest, coddling you.

"I love you"

"I-love- you too"

He laughed at your breathiness. "Can we have an actual conversation about this now"

"Gimme a minute- I think my brains all mush."

He laughed again and gave a kiss to your hair.

#help I wrote this all out and it didnt save and I could look at this point for like 2 weeks after. #but she is done!! #I hope ive done your ask well #this was fun!!!! #relocated heads ask #Eddie munson #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson smut #Eddie Munson fluf #Eddie Munson soft #stranger things smut #Eddie munson fanfiction #joesph Quinn smut #Eddie Munson ask #joesph quinn #st4 #Eddie Munson headcanons #joesph Quinn fluff #joesph Quinn fanfiction

[pascallatte]

Y/n L/n | In The Bag

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Actress!reader

Summary: dive in on what you have in your bag, some might be yours and some might be not.

Date: August 2018

A/N: wanted to try the Vogue stuff (1 of ~) so here's a tryout, also a little tbt cause I lost the fic I was supposed to post today😵‍💫. basically, this is some sort of filler atm so without further ado enjoy reading and stay tuned for more!!!

You were sitting on the couch wearing a white silk dress that your stylist had prepared for you to wear. The video featured you showing off your prized headphones before cutting back to you sitting down.

“Hola Vogue, soy Y/n L/n, y esto es “¿Qué hay en mi bolso?" But since they told me to speak in English then I’ll have to speak in English…” looking directly at a camera smiling while placing the bag in front of you.

“This bag is very old, by old like really old. It was given to me by my mama when I got my role in Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s from a small shop, near our place in Madrid and it’s been with me ever since.” You explained the history of your bag of choice when asked off-screen.

“And as you can see it is a very big bag so I have most of my personal stuff here. It’s not the cleanest but it’s organized, just the way I like it,” beckoning the camera to come to take a look at the inside, which was in fact organized.

Setting the bag down on the table, you stretch your arms in exaggeration, “Ok!! Let’s dig in…my bag.” Reaching in you take out a small green purse, “Ah so this is my “legal things” purse, like all my IDs and cards are here- you’ll be seeing a lot of purses by the way. It’s how I separate things for easy access.” Opening up the purse, you pull out a card given to you by a brand and your license.

Showing your license to the camera, “Look this was taken, let’s say about 7 to 8 years ago, and you can still see the cheeks that I’ve tried the hardest to lose, but well it’s still here,” you said shrugging placing it back in the purse. “But hey, I’m actually happy it stayed it gives me the youthful look, most lose when they....age,” you said whipping your head to the camera.

“Next are these glasses most of you see me wearing if I’m out and about. These rectangle sunglasses actually come in a.. pouch I think? And these reading glasses in a hard case that I totally lost so they’re just sitting on top of my bag so they don’t get squished.”

You tried the sunglasses on and posed for the camera silly, before shaking your head and laughing. “Oh I actually- the sunglasses come in a pair, so the other one is with my partner, obviously. But he doesn’t really wear it since he prefers those big ones,” crossing your arms and looking at the camera straight-faced.

The video cut to you pulling out a wristlet, “ok, so here we have the wallet that I just bought, 'cause I really didn’t lose my old one, it just disappeared.” Opening up the wallet, you showed the insides towards the camera, it shows cards, receipts and a very well hid picture behind one of the cards that the camera was able to detect. “So, I don’t really keep any cash on me, just these cards cause bills are too bulky, I do keep my coins though.”

“Do I prefer coin purses or wristlets?” You said, repeating their question. “Uhmmm I love a good coin purse, but wristlets do come in handy and I can like slip it in somewhere easily.”

“Makeup and lady essentials that I won’t be showing you, sorry,” you bring out a see-through pouch with your balm, sunscreen, and powder inside. “I don’t really wear make-up if I’m not working so I have this…” you paused thinking what it was called, “.. tinted lip balm- I have two actually I just left the other one at home. I also got this sunscreen to keep the skin safe from the sun and of course, wrinkles, 'cause we don’t want that.” You said, squeezing some of it in your hand. 

“Lastly, we have this powder that was given to me a few months back. And it’s useful when you want to look put together in a rush or like look fresh, so thank you to whoever gave this to me,” cheekily as you waved the powder around.

“Okk, what else do we have here- oh!” You exclaimed looking around, wondering if you can show it. Deciding to, you brought out a cap that clearly did not belong to you and fans would know whose it was. “Ok, so we have this cap that I didn’t know was in my bag, until now. I don’t really wear any head accessories but he does so, let’s just say it’s their essential, not mine,” you said placing the cap that was noticeably big on you, on your head bopping around.

“Next is, MY must bring. Drumroll please,” joking, before pulling out a camera. “My camera, I am the sort of person that wants to look back on moments I love so this camera is really the best. Usually, I would use my phone but I got this as a present. At that time since I was debating whether to buy one, so they just said here you go, your very own camera. And yeah, I’ve had this for about a year now” Looking through the viewfinder you took a picture of the crew showing it to them afterwards.

“Photos? You’re asking me if you can see some?” Shyly you nodded, and moved to show the small screen, you’re back facing them. “This was the latest one, like a few days ago in a party, then us having a drink at home, and-“laughing to yourself as you saw the picture,”-and this picture that I really can’t explain what was going on.” It was basically a picture of you laid up on the floor wearing clothes that were significantly bigger and longer on you, a fake moustache drawn on your face and your hair stuck in all different places.

“Brief explanation Ummm, let’s just say it was a fun night that led us to do weird things, one being this photo,” you giggled to them, which you nodded before placing it down on the table.

“Now, these are my headphones, I got them last June and they’re really helpful when you like some quiet time or you just really have to focus on work. I don’t really like those wired ones, different to what someone prefers, since I wreck and lose them easily so these headphones are my best and safest options.”

Snickering, you brought out a half-eaten bag of chips, “here, my friends are the chips I’ve had in my bag since last week. Why I haven’t finished it is because it’s too hot for me to handle. My friends laugh at me for they claim it isn’t spicy at all- it is.” You pop one in your mouth before offering it to the people you’re with.

“I mean, I’m not a big fan of chips and spicy food, but I’d enjoy it from time to time.” You said popping a final Cheeto in your mouth.

The video cuts to you bringing out something big from your bag. “And this pouch, this pouch actually takes up almost half the space in my bag, so let’s see what’s in it,” you pulled out a big cream pouch, which looked heavy to say even on camera.

“I have all sorts of chargers here my phone charger, headphones, iPad charger surprisingly,” you mumbled, knowing all too well you don’t own one, “and some cord I don’t know its use.” Placing it on the table you pull back your hand before sticking it in the pouch once again, “this is a small hair brush I keep in my bag, it’s supposed to be in the makeup bag, not sure how it got here so-yeah this brush cause we don’t want our hair to be tangled.”

“I also have these perfumes in my bag don’t ask who owns who, they both have this vanilla scent on them which we love to use when we go out on a walk and that’s actually the reason I have it in here.” You said, reading the labels on the bottles you have on each hand. One that was really used and the other barely.

“Lastly I have this hair clamp and silly socks. When it gets too hot I put my hair up and when it’s cold I got some warmers on my feet. The funny thing is that this hair clamp has been missing for a couple days now, and finding it here in my bag just makes me laugh at myself for not checking it properly.”

Leaning back on the chair, legs cross you beam up at them, “Well vogue, that’s what I have in my bag. I’m sorry that took me too long but thank you for spending time with me it’s a pleasure. Bye Bye!!” Waving to the camera, you blow a final kiss before the video ends.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙

Taglist: @benonlinear @t-stark35 @heyitsme-2 @elleeeee21 @holmesstrange @tagakalat @flyestvenustrap @oldermenaremyreligion @cherryred444 @hobiismyhopeu @ilovehotdadsandshit @djarinsstuff @guacala @avengersheart @pukka-latte @lilvampirina (the ones in bold are the blogs that I can't seem to tag, so please inform me if you aren't getting tagged. thank you!!)

#pedro pascal x actress!reader #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Choi San x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; arguing ; heavy angst ; car accident ; reader dies at the end ; Word Count : 3.8k A/N : ->I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING THE TWS! PLEASE! SOME PEOPLE SKIP OVER THEM, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT! I HAVE NO CHILL WITH MY ANGST SOMETIMES!

“I gotta go to the office real quick…” 

“Of course you do…” You sat on the couch, the bowl of grapes that you had been mindlessly popping into your mouth was perched atop your swollen stomach. You were nearing the end of your pregnancy, and you thought that with the numbered days and the uncertainty of whether you’d actually make it to your due date that San would have chosen staying home with you to make sure he’d be there in case your water broke. Instead, he had been going to work more frequently, as if he was trying to find any reason he could to be out of the house and away from you. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” His footsteps had paused right at the front door, and most of the time you’d stay quiet, waiting for him to leave before rambling to yourself about how shitty he was. There wasn’t really anything different about today, you had simply grown tired of waiting and hoping that he’d finally show some sort of interest over the life he had away from work. 

“What do you think it means, San?” You retorted back, turning your head to look over your shoulder at him. His eyebrows were raised, as if he were testing you to say something else, testing you to let this argument keep going when it could easily be forgotten about, by him, when he walked out the door. “It’s always gotta go to the office, gotta go meet up with the guys, gotta go practice my dances, gotta go record a new part.” 

The overexaggerated mocking of his voice clearly had him ticked off, and he quickly shimmied out of his coat, letting it drop to the floor as he walked over to the couch to stand behind you, his eyes narrowed and his voice rising in volume. “So it’s a problem now? You’re so fucking bored that you gotta find a problem in anything to entertain yourself.” 

You scoffed loudly, placing the bowl of grapes to the side so you could push yourself up off the couch to go stand in front of him, your stomach the only thing keeping you from getting in his face at this point. “I’m not fucking bored! I’m pregnant with your fucking twins!” The way he rolled his eyes, the coy smirk that played on his face as you yelled at him like he was finding enjoyment in your aggravation. It was blood boiling. “You think you’re so great, you’re Gods gift to mankind… You’re shit where it matters most.” 

His sarcastic chuckle was only proof of how much he didn’t care, how he thought this was nothing less than a comedic waste of his time. “That’s not what you thought 3 years ago, and it’s not what you thought 7 months ago… Is it?” His eyes flicked down between your face and your stomach, the smirk on his face had your hand twitching, wanting nothing more than to smack it off. “But if you think I’m such shit… You can leave. I’m not keeping you here.” 

So that’s how he was going to be? Of all things that you could have thought he’d say, you never thought that would be one of them. “Fine… But when you get home from whatever the fuck you do at the office and realize that I’m not here… Don’t call me. I’m fucking done with you. I’m over it, I’m over all of this.” 

He snorted loudly, walking over to pick his coat up off the floor and put his shoes on. “Sure you are.” He mocked, grabbing his keys off the hook and walking out the door. There wasn’t an I love you, there wasn’t even a goodbye muttered over his shoulder. He simply walked out, and that’s exactly what you were planning on doing too. 

You weren’t even sure how you were supposed to go about getting everything that you needed. It’s not like you could pack up all the cribs and stuff that had already been put together in the nursery, not by yourself, and not in the little sedan that you had. You could only pack what you needed right now and think of the other things later. 

The baby’s clothes were thrown into the suitcase that had been on the floor, already half filled with the clothes that you’d be taking. You had already called your mom to ask if you could come stay with her for a bit, and she had offered to pick you up herself, but you knew that it would only take longer that way and you didn’t want to risk San coming back home, knowing that it would only turn into another argument. 

You weren’t even supposed to be driving at this stage of your pregnancy, the doctors had told you that it would be dangerous, and considering your water could break at any point, they didn’t think that it would be safe for you to be behind the wheel of any car on any road. Maybe that’s why San had so carelessly said what he did, why he seemed so unbothered when he walked out the door. He didn’t think you’d actually leave, but he was wrong. You weren’t going to stay in a relationship where one side clearly didn’t care about the other. He wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he clearly wasn’t ready to be a father, especially not to the twins that you were carrying. 

The snarky attitude that he had carried on his way out the front door had completely diminished once he was by himself in the car, and with it gone, it only left room for his annoyance. Not just with you, but with himself. You weren’t taking into consideration that it was a hard transition for him to make, being a full-time idol and having to prepare himself to become a father to 2 kids in less than a month. Of course, you were the one truly having to deal with all the changes, not just in your lifestyle, but your body, your hormones, everything. Sometimes he needed to go to work, just to get away from it all for a bit. It was strange how work became his place of relaxation now with everything going on. 

He should have talked to you about the way he was feeling, he knew that you’d listen, you always did no matter what he wanted to talk about. He hadn’t given you that opportunity to listen though, and now the two of you were arguing again. It seems like that’s all you were able to do now. As soon as one of your mouths opened, the only words that came out were ones that would inflict some kind of pain or cause anger. It never used to be this way, and he knew that the stress of the upcoming and unavoidable change was the main factor that caused all of this, but that didn’t make it any better. 

“Bad day?” Hongjoong asked when San walked into the practice room, all the eyes of the other members on him as he dropped his practice bag on the floor and headed right to the water cooler. All of the guys knew about you, they had been so excited to hear about your pregnancy as well, looking forward to 2 brand new family members that they could spoil. What they didn’t know about was the constant arguing, and usually San was able to hide his frustrations whenever he got to work, but today that wasn’t the case. “Is Y/N alright?” 

San huffed loudly at the mention of your name, his neck twisting sharply to stare at Hongjoong. “Don’t.” He exhaled the word, glaring at the leader. “I just… Can we get things done quickly?” He muttered, wanting to get home to you as soon as possible. Hopefully you’d both have cooled off by the time he was done there and he would finally be able to open up to you about what was bothering you. It’s better late than never… right? 

Practice didn’t go by as quickly as he wanted it to, he and the guys ended up going out to a nearby cafe to get a quick bite to eat. It only frustrated him more considering he had been trying to get in touch with you the past hour and you haven’t responded. Surely you wouldn’t have actually left him, he had heard the doctors orders as clearly as you had, and unless someone came to get you, you wouldn’t have left the house. 

The television in the cafe was playing, and while San usually wouldn’t pay any attention to what was on, he quickly realized that whatever was on the screen was important. Every customer and employee were standing right beneath it, their hands covering their mouths as their eyes widened at the scene that was currently being filmed by the helicopter. 

It was horrific, the mangled carcass of the small car that hadn’t stood a chance against the truck that was now sitting on top of it. The car was unrecognizable, and San couldn’t help but stare, much like everyone else in the cafe, unable to pull his eyes away from the sad scene. 

“I bet it was a drunk driver…” “That poor person in the car though…” “I hope it was quick for them.” The voices of patrons murmured, and the atmosphere was suffocatingly morbid. There hadn’t been any information given out yet about either of the people driving, and others were already saying that one of them was dead? Of course, he could see how they’d think that, but it didn’t change the fact that people were talking as if this person didn’t stand a chance. Miracles could happen. 

“That’s so sad…” Wooyoung shook his head as he sat down at the table, the first one of all of them that was able to pry his eyes away from the television. “It looks like it was on your street, San.” He pointed out, and when San stared at the screen a little longer, he was able to pinpoint certain store fronts that he’d go by every day to get to and from work.

He huffed out a curse, dreading the traffic that he knew would be backed up. “Do you want to start heading home now so that you can make it there by dinner time?” Hongjoong asked, watching as San pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m sure Y/N will understand if you’re a little bit late coming home. There’s no way she hasn’t seen or heard about what’s going on. Just… Start heading home, and text me when you get there so I know you made it through.” 

San nodded, sparing one last look at the tv screen before walking out of the cafe. It was crazy how fast life could be taken from people. Now that he was alone with his thoughts, he wondered about the person that had been driving the car. Did that person have someone in their life that meant the world to them? Did that person have a family? You never know if today would be your last day with the ones that you love, you shouldn’t take that for granted. 

Those thoughts had San rushing to his car. He wanted you to know he loved you, how much you meant to him, how happy he was that you were in his life. There’s no one else in the world that he’d rather spend every single day with, and the more he thought about it, the more foolish he felt about the argument that he had with you this morning. All you had wanted was for him to stay home with you, and he had gotten mad about that. He’d make sure to make it up to you, to spend as much time with you as he could. 

It took almost an hour and a half for traffic to start moving, and by moving, it was simply inching forward. His foot had grown tired from pressing down on the brake for so long, and most people had just turned off their engines while waiting. 

The flashing lights from the police vehicles and the firetrucks and the ambulances reflected off shop windows, and there were lines of people standing on the sidewalk behind the police tape trying to get a view of the wreck sight. People's morbid curiosity never failed to baffle him, he didn’t understand why anyone would want to see anything that had happened there, especially not up close. 

He refused to look at the scene when he drove past it, keeping his eyes straight ahead. The last thing he wanted to see was the body, or bodies of the people or person that had been in the car. He needed to keep his mind clear, he needed to focus on just getting to you, being home with you. 

By the time he finally got to the house the sun was setting, a view that he loved to share with you on the back porch or laying on a blanket, your head nestled perfectly against his shoulder as his fingers absentmindedly played with your hair, your eyes marveling at the tangerine and cotton candy pink clouds that moved slowly across the darkening sky. 

He missed those days, and the saddest part was that he's the only one keeping them from happening. Nothing was stopping him from spending evenings with you, nothing was stopping him from spending any time with you at all. The only thing stopping him was himself. He’d change that though, he’d spend more time with you, he’d hold you and tell you how beautiful you are, how much you meant to him, how much he loved you, how lucky he is to spend every single day with you. 

He parked the car, his eyes glancing back in the rear view mirror at the continued flashing emergency lights, and then down at the two car seats that had been set up in the back seats for a month already. Those seats once had a feeling of panic setting into him, questioning whether he’d be a good enough father, a good enough supporter for you. Now the sight of those seats made him feel warm, even a little bit fuzzy. You were his, he was starting his own family with you, and he’d be able to get through it with you by his side. Everything would be okay. 

It was like a race, getting up to the house, his smile wide as he anticipated seeing you. It was completely different from the way he left, and he hoped that you’d understand, that you’d listen to his reasoning, to his apology. He was ready to be better, to live happily in the life that the two of you had created together. 

The door was pushed open and the orange hue of sunlight was cast across the hardwood floors. “Babe?!” He called out for you, looking around the living room. The bowl of grapes were still sitting on the couch, you must still be there, you probably just had to use the bathroom. He moved further into the house, peeking into the bathroom and seeing that it was empty. So was the bedroom. The last room to check was the nursery, and when he walked in, he saw the closets had been opened, and not just that, but outfits that had once been neatly hung and color organized on the racks were now gone. “Y/N…?” Your name was now whispered as his stomach and his heart seemed to tighten, bile rising in his throat. Did you actually leave him? Did you truly believe that that’s what he wanted you to do? 

He backed out of the room, his back hitting the wall behind him before he sprinted to the front door, throwing it open and finally realizing that your car wasn’t parked. He was so excited about going in and seeing you that he hadn’t even noticed… How had he missed it? His phone started vibrating in his pocket, and he wished that it was you, pulling it out and looking at the name on his screen. Hongjoong. 

“I made it home… Don’t worry…” San muttered into the receiver, trying to sound as calm as he possibly could, but his throat was closing up and his eyes were becoming blurry with tears as he looked at the empty parking spot where your car had once been. 

“That’s good… Did you talk to her?” The question had San swallowing back the bile that was making its way further up his throat. No, he didn’t talk to you, he didn’t get to, and right now he didn’t even know where you were which was terrifying to him. 

“I’m kind of busy right now… I’ll text you later.” San said, ending the call before Hongjoong could ask any questions. Would you have gone to your parents? Maybe your friends? He didn’t know any of their numbers off hand, and the fact that you didn’t even let him know where you were going, you didn’t want him to find you. He really fucked up this time, and now he was in the dark and you were the only light that he wanted. 

The keys were still in his pocket, and while he dreaded the thought of having to drive back through the traffic jam caused my the accident, he needed to get to your parents place, maybe you were there, he hoped that you were there. 

Traffic idled slowly past the accident, back to back brake lights illuminated the road, and he was sure that things were only moving slower because everyone just wanted to get a good view. People were sick, how could anyone look at that? 

As he moved closer, the model of the car, even being mangled, the make of the car, the color… His heart that had been sinking so slowly into the pit of his stomach lurched up into his throat. It wasn’t just the model and the make though, that would have been able to be written off as a coincidence… It was the license plate that had been slightly dangling off the back of the car. He knew those numbers, he had went with you to get those numbers recently and helped put them on the back of your car. 

Tears were already flowing as he veered off to the side of the road, officers and paramedics trying to stop him from climbing out of his car, but he couldn’t be stopped. He threw the car door open and ran over to the car, it was your car. The truck that had hit you was already pulled off to the side, completely unscathed. The driver's side door of your car was in the process of being pried off. 

“Sir, get back in your car!” The officer shouted, trying to keep San from moving any closer, but he was a force to be reckoned with at this point, using all of his weight to push against the officer, trying to get closer. “Sir!” 

“No!” San screamed, pushing back against the office and rushing towards your car, wishing that he hadn’t when he saw you, falling to his knees beside your door, his sobs choked off as he doubled over. “Please… Please! God! No! Fuck!” He shouted, unable to control his emotions. The glass that had shattered upon impact was imbedding itself into his knees, the slight stinging wasn’t nearly as painful as losing you, living a life without you in it. How was he even supposed to navigate through life without you? 

“Sir, we’re gonna need you to move. We need to get her out of there…” The officer that had tried to pull him away now took on a more sympathetic tone, realizing clearly what was going on. San couldn’t move though, it was like his legs were nothing more than noodles and the rest of him was like lead. “Please…” 

“Will it make a difference?” He muttered, his movements zombie-like as he pushed himself up off the ground, his jeans bloodied from the cuts he got when he landed on the glass, and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying so much. “Will she live? Will the babies live?” The officer's eyes widened, immediately looking through the window of the back seat of your car, and San only shook his head as he sniffled loudly. “She was pregnant… The twins… She…” His breaths were shaky, and they came so fast he was getting light headed, he was on the verge of passing out. “I’ve lost everything… Didn’t I…?” 

The officer's eyes drifted down to the ground, his head bowed. “I’m so sorry sir, I truly am.” That was the first sorry that San had heard, but it surely wouldn’t be the last, at least not for a while. He never understood why people apologize for things like this. It’s not like they were the ones who had done it, and no amount of sorries would bring you back. You were gone… 

He sat on the edge of the curb, watching as bright orange sparks flew up in the air, the skin crawling sound of steel against steel as when firefighters cut into the hood of the car. They had tried their best to pry the door off, but they couldn’t. There was no hope, although he had given up on that anyway. All he could do was wait for them to pull you out so he could say his final goodbyes, the goodbyes that should have been said to you as he walked out the front door this morning, goodbyes that shouldn’t have been said at all as he sat beside you on the couch and held you close. 

He had told you to leave, he had been foolish enough to think that you’d still be there when he got back, that you’d continue to put up with him. This was all his fault… He had blindly chosen fame and the love and adoration of people around the world over you, the love of his life. Now he had nothing, he had truly lost everything in the blink of an eye, he hadn’t even told you that he loved you . He could only hope that you knew that he did, that somewhere, wherever you were, you knew that he loved you more than anything. You were the light of his life, the light at the end of the darkest of tunnels, and maybe one day, when the time comes, you’d be his light once more, guiding him back to you, and he’d be able to tell you that he loves you like he should have done today. 

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez angst #ateez headcanons #ateez scenarios #ateez drabbles #ateez oneshot #ateez fic #ateez sad hours #choi san #ateez san #choi san x reader #choi san x you #choi san angst #san x reader #san x you #san angst #choi san headcanons #choi san scenarios #choi san imagines #ateez imagines #choi san sad hours #choi san drabble #choi san fic

[writingsfromhome]

Golf on TV

Ask: fluffy piece based on Lennon Stella’s Golf on TV (sorry I deleted the original ask but this song is so fluff so ty!)

—————————

I wake up to the bed made, for a second I don’t know where I am. My sleep-addled brain tries to catch up to the present moment. The present morning.

I was in bed, in my new home. It was Saturday morning.

Last night had been a late one. I was the co-lead in an intense case at work and the plaintiff’s team had been smoking our ass in court. Last night we’d gotten boxes of newly admitted evidence and every single person stayed well into the AM to sort it out. The other side liked to play dirty and this is how they did it. Little did they know we’d found our smoking gun. Never underestimate Stewart, Stone, and Nowak.

But I’d gotten home and passed out on the couch. Well, I’d gotten home to Harry passed out on the couch with the TV on. He must have tried staying up for me even though I had told him to go home. But he stayed.

I remember the tension leaving my body just seeing him snuggled on the couch, his face a kaleidoscope of colours reflecting off from the TV. I’d met Harry less than a year ago, a meet cute moment where both of us had gone for the same taxi. He’d waved me in like a gentleman and I’d invited him to share it. Turns out we were only going a few blocks from each other.

He was from London, in San Francisco for work. The taxi ride had been 27 minutes in total but in that time it felt like we’d known each other for 27 years.

As soon as I saw him on the couch, I’d dropped my jacket there, and gotten in beside him. He’d barely stirred, and I passed out pretty quickly thereafter.

I sit up and the sham that was draped over me falls over the side of the bed. I check my watch, still on my wrist. It was past 7. A solid 4.5 hours—that was a restful night for me ever since I took this case on.

Harry must have carried me to bed, I realize. And I’d been dead to the world while he did.

I never expected to see him again after that taxi ride. Until a few weeks later, he was waiting for me in the courthouse lobby. He’d looked me up, saw I had a case that morning, and waited. It was his last week in San Francisco and he wanted to take me on a date. He hadn’t stopped thinking about me, he’d said. I hadn’t either.

I’d dated plenty before him, had several boyfriends, even a situationship. Harry was the first guy I ever felt relaxed around. From that first date he made sure I felt cared for, that I was happy—he was unafraid to put me first. Even when he had to go back to London and we were long distance for three and a half months, we were always talking.

I’d felt unwanted before. Those were the days I chased after boys that only liked me for doing the chasing. Never did they actually want me. Because when they got me, they’d leave and keep me chasing them forever. Harry had never once been shy about the fact that he wanted me. That he chose me over everything.

We were always running towards each other. Never after each other.

I blink away the sleepiness and notice Harry had put me in a tshirt. It was the little things.

That’s when I hear the voices coming from downstairs. Harry…and my mom.

It was time to get up.

“Good morning princess,” my mom spots me first. I looked bad this morning—even though Harry had attempted to take my makeup off whenever he’d taken me to bed, and replaced my slacks for shorts, I still had craters for eye bags and a tangled bedhead, and dehydrated and inflamed skin from sleeping with makeup. But mom never stopped calling me princess.

“Harry and I were just making pancakes,” she points to the griddle behind her. God, mom loved Harry. It was weird because she’d only ever met 2 of my boyfriends since I started dating as a teen. She hated both of them and was never shy about it. All the others she’d heard about over the phone or a late night snack at her house back when she lived close to where I worked. She hated them all equally. “We’re worried you’re not eating enough.”

I catch eyes with Harry, it was a constant argument with us. But it was hard to eat with a regular appetite when I was so close to the end of big cases. He knew that. He used my mom as a shield to push his own agenda, they worked as a team like that.

But it never made me mad. It was more caring than any ex had ever been.

“Pancakes are your favourite,” Harry says while towel-drying his hands. He’d been ‘washing up’, as he would say with his accent.

“They are,” I say as he walks around the island to me and kisses my cheek. He was always weirdly chaste around my mom, nothing like his behaviour late nights in bed.

Mom grins at me from behind him. She was obsessed.

So was I though.

“Let’s eat!” Mom says. “C’mon, we gotta eat before they get cold. Y/N grab the fruit behind you.”

“Sure mom,” I grab the bowl she prepared. Harry watches mom leave the kitchen with the pancakes and syrup. As soon as she’s out of sight he tugs me right against him.

“Y’know you don’t have to wait for her to leave to be my boyfriend?”

“Is that what I am?” He nuzzles my neck. “I thought I was just your boy-toy.”

“Nah,” I let him kiss me even though we’re both smiling. “My boy-toy’s like, 5 years younger than you are.”

“Yeah well, he’s not the one trying to take your makeup off at 5am while you talk about invoices and flash drives.”

“Oops,” I must have been talking about our smoking gun in my sleep. I couldn’t even rest unconscious. “Thank you for that. You could have left me on the couch.”

“Maybe if I was your boy-toy. But I’m your strong English boyfriend, I take you to bed.”

“And you do it so well,” I pat his arm condescendingly, stealing one more kiss before skirting away. I leave him chuckling in the kitchen and gathering the coffee for breakfast.

Before Harry, I didn’t realize love could be so selfless. That it didn’t have to hurt all the time. That one person could be enough.

“Y/N?” Mom asks. “What do you think?”

“Huh?” I’d gotten lost in thought and I see Harry smirk. I guess I was just staring at him.

“For your dad’s birthday coming up?!” She sighs. “I’ve been talking about his dinner—Harry said he has to go back to London the week before. I thought we could do a birthday dinner early so Harry can be there. You know your dad would like that.”

He would. My dad was just as keen on Harry, telling me that he was good for me—the way a man should be. Those were his exact words.

I remember I’d been confused at first when Harry and I started long-distance dating. He was more stable and consistent than relationships I’d had where we lived inches apart. Being long-distance, I’d only missed him physically when we were apart, he was still there for me in every other way.

When he officially transferred to his San Francisco office 5 months ago, he had surprised me. I remember opening my door to him standing there with flowers and macarons—my favourite dessert. I’d nearly smashed them all when I screamed and threw myself onto him.

After that moment I knew I was done with romanticizing dysfunction and compromising. His love was healthy and pure, and it was for me.

I tried my best to give that to him in return. Lately I’d been a bad girlfriend working long hours and barely seeing him. But I’d make it up to him. He didn’t know this but I’d booked the same flight to London with him, that’s why mom was trying to move dad’s birthday dinner up. So I’d be there too.

“Sounds great,” I say. “That way we can all make it.”

“Perfect I’ll make us a reservation.” Mom picks up her phone and begins typing on it with one finger, one key at a time. She tsks, “Oh why is it doing this now.”

“Here Mrs. Y/l/n,” Harry holds his hand out. “What are you trying to do.”

“This new update has been driving me crazy,” she hand her phone to Harry. He glances at me and we bite back a smile. Mom was notorious for being Bad at Technology. But Harry was always patient and tried teaching her.

“The search bar’s on the bottom now,” Harry shows her. “That’s where you type it in.”

“It was fine at the top why do they always have to move it around, gah I’ll just do this on a computer.”

“Yeah no rush mom,” I say.

“Well I’ll clear the table now. I need to get going soon I have a squash game at half eight.”

“Yeah I need be in by then.” Court opened at 9:30 today and I had to be there a half hour early to submit what we had.

“You two stay here,” mom begins piling plates. She’s surprisingly strong when she snatches the mug Harry’s trying to take away himself. “Let me clean up. Then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Thanks for the breakfast mom!” I shout as she heads away. Harry echoes a thank you.

“Don’t thank me,” I hear her mumble as she walks away.

Me and Harry are left grinning at each other. He holds his hand out on the table and I clasp his.

“Your mum’s sweet.”

“My mum,” I tease him. I keep his hand held as I go around the table to his seat. He tugs me down onto his lap. “Did you actually call your mom mummy as a kid?”

“Did you call your mum mommy?” Harry asks in a decent American accent.

“Maybe,” I smile.

“Maybe.” He replies.

“I’ll just ask your mum when I meet her someday.”

“She really does want to meet you.” He says seriously. “She thinks I’m deliberately keeping you away.”

“Maybe you are, so she can’t answer all the burning questions I have about you.”

“I can just imagine you and her teaming up against me. My sister will join in too.”

I’d met his sister a few months back when she visited. We hit it on immediately just like Harry and I had. It was a bit of a relief.

“I can’t wait to swap stories over breakfast with your mom.”

“Oh you’d love her breakfast,” Harry smiles fondly. I feel a twinge then, sometimes I wondered if he ever got homesick. Especially when he talked about memories from home. “She does the best English breakfast. You’d have to try black pudding though.”

I crinkle my nose, “Isn’t that the one with the blood?”

“Mmmm it sure is,” he grips my hips and a shiver shoots up my spine.

“Gross! Why would anyone eat that? Or your-what’s that other pudding thing? The one you tried making last winter that’s all puffy-“

“Yorkshire.” He smiles.

“You literally poured hot oil on your mixture. It’s clogging my pores just thinking about it.”

“That’s it. You’re coming to London before the year is over and you’re going to be begging for more when you have a proper roast. What I made at home was a pathetic attempt.”

“Mmm I don’t get it.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I just don’t get English food. It’s like people who wear crocs, or golf on TV, I don’t get it.”

“You just descibed,” Harry tucks my hair behind my ear, “the perfect date. We’re sorted for the weekend.”

I laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But I love you.” I kiss him. He pulls me back to him when I part.

“I love you.”

“I really do need a shower before I head in though,” I remind him.

“Maybe I’ll join you,” he says low enough so my mom can’t hear.

“If you’re brave enough with mom still here.” I tease.

“Okay hon,” she pops out of nowhere. “I’m heading out. Good luck with court today.”

“Thanks mom.” I get up and give her a big squeeze. ��I appreciate you dropping by.”

“Of course. And I’ll drop dinner by tonight I saw the state of your fridge, you should clean that thing out y/n.”

“Yess mom,” I roll my eyes. Harry snickers behind me. Mom should see his fridge, it was half beer cans and takeout containers.

While mom tells Harry about the dinner she would drop by for us I get a headstart on my shower. It was already quarter to 8 and I couldn’t waste any more time.

Harry joins me shortly after, he lowers my hands when he gets in and washes my hair slowly with care. I nearly pass out in the shower with how good his fingers feel on my scalp.

“Thank you,” I turn to him after I wash it out.

“Don’t mention it love,” he kisses my temple.

“Harry,” I suddenly feel choked up. I think his scalp massage had unblocked some chakra stuff because I’m suddenly overwhelmed with feeling.

“What?” He tilts my face up.

“I’m just…I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Nonsense.” He swipes my tear away even though the stream of water makes it all the same.

“No I…I never thought I’d meet someone like you. I used to think love was hurting. It doesn’t make sense anymore-“

“Like golf on TV.”

“Yeah,” I laugh and it breaks up the knot in my throat. “Yeah like golf on TV. Now being in love feels like soccer-“

“Football.”

“Soccer,” I correct him. He grins. “It makes sense to me.”

“If you didn’t have work in 30 minutes,” Harry pulls me into him and crushes me against him. It feels good, like being held together. “You’d be face down in bed in the next 10 seconds.”

“Where’s this Harry when my mom’s around.” I tease.

“This Harry’s just for you.” He says just as he turns the shower off. I draw away as he grabs us some towels and I watch him with an unbreakable joy; if it was physical it could illuminate this tiled shower and bounce around the whole room.

He was the reason I got through all these gruelling hours for court. Because I knew I had someone waiting for me, that I could steal an hour away with, and it would leave me refuelled enough for another 24 hour work-day.

“Why are you smiling at me like that,” Harry asks as he hands me the towel. I shake my head and wrap it around me. He watches as I blow dry my hair, kissing my shoulder when I’m done.

“I’ll leave when you leave. Should I drop you off to the office?”

“Please?” I ask. “That’d give me an extra 5 minutes.”

His face lights up.

“No,” I say as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “No Harry I have to be early!”

“I only need 2,” he says as he launches me onto the bed. “Maybe 3.”

I pretend to be annoyed but I inch up in bed as he makes his way over and I can’t think of a better way to spend the extra 5 minutes. Or 10. Oops.

If the old me ever met the new me, she’d probably try to stop me. She didn’t know what love could look like. That it could be a gentle smile, a drive in to work, making sure you’re eating, helping your mom out with her phone, or washing your hair for you in the shower.

I’d tell her—the old me, that it was as simple as this: I wanted him, only him. And he wanted me too.

#writingsfromhome #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles fluff #lyrics #lennon stella #golf on tv #this was a cute song to write to #harry stylesxreader #harry styles one shot #harry styles request #i have a hard time writing pure fluff #so i love when a song just carries the whole fic w fluff #ty anon #this fic is qd #i’m on a fluff roll #thats new

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

45.

45: worst date you’ve ever been on

I haven’t been on very many but I do think I have a decent answer even if I don’t like thinking about it.

Just over a year ago, a trans woman I matched with on tinder invited me with no notice to go to her place to watch a movie and hang out. It was, by all circumstances, not a great idea. I had sudden unplanned events, it was snowing pretty bad, and it was already like 7 pm. However I was in a bout of extreme loneliness and was desperate. So I drove 30 minutes during a snowstorm to get to her place. I want to preface this by saying that I have struggled throughout my life with being kind of a germaphobe. Not like so extreme that I have to wipe down and disinfect my apartment every week or anything like that, but I’m tend to wash my hands waaaaay too much and just be easily grossed out in general. Anyway her place was absolutely disgusting and filthy and a mess. I feel a little bad saying that but like it was bad. I mean I didn’t see like bugs or mold or anything, but everything was covered in stuff that had been carelessly left there, every surface and most of the floor covered in empty food containers and like crumbs and god knows what, that probably doesn’t sound that bad but I don’t know how to describe it better and I don’t want to keep thinking about it much longer. I’m not the neatest person and my apartment is usually a bit of a mess, but the idea of inviting someone over without cleaning it first is so against the way I do things that I was and still am baffled by it. Anyway I didn’t want to judge too much (I really am trying to get over the germaphobia stuff but it’s hard ok) and I was still a very lonely bitch so I sat on her gross crumb covered couch and watched the Sonic the hedgehog movie, (bc I had mentioned to her in a conversation that I never saw it). She was touchy and cuddly and I quickly got kinda overwhelmed but, again, I was super lonely, I hadn’t spent time with anyone in months (unless you count going to classes but I don’t) so I didn’t want to bail. After the movie we talked and she was sweet and cute and she respected my boundaries and worries because I was very inexperienced with anything remotely resembling dating. But it was now like 1 am and there was a snowstorm outside and she was saying I should probably stay the night, even being upfront and saying we don’t have to do anything, but she was hinting that she might want to. But at that point the mess and dirt and whatnot was really getting to me. I went to the bathroom to pee and sort out my thoughts, but it was like 10x nastier in there, I don’t want to describe it even thinking about it makes me want to take a shower. After that I wanted to be as far from there as possible. I told her as politely as I could but probably not that politely, that I had already gone way out of my comfort zone and that I wanted to go. This wasn’t a lie or anything, basically everything I did that night was well beyond my usual comfort zone that night. She seemed very disappointed but I was beyond feeling bad anymore, I got out of there and went to my car where I rubbed my hand with hand sanitizer like three times and drove home through the blizzard going at a snails pace on the highway bc of the weather, and the whole time I felt like throwing up. When I finally got home over an hour later I took a shower for like another hour.

Now that I typed all that out I’m realizing I used way more words than I needed to say that my worst date was going to a girls place and it was really gross so I didn’t stay longer than a few hours. It’s also not like much of an interesting story and I wrote all that out and relived those memories for what is ultimately not that interesting.

Although even if the circumstances were different I still don’t think I would like the sonic movie

#ask game #oh god I just realized I might still be friends with her on steam???

[thatonebirdwrites]

Fandom creators tag game

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of?

I write stories. Usually original science fiction, but in the past two years, I've branched into fanfiction. I also create art and music.

I'm damn proud of my rewrite of Book 2 of Legend of Korra in my Shared Moments series.

I wish I could find a publisher for my original fiction; then I could share what I'm most proud of but alas. The publishing market is incredibly hard to get into and I don't have the health to self-publish, so we'll go with the Korrasami tales for now. For art, I'm damn proud of this piece I did of Lena.

2. What fandom(s) do you create for?

Korrasami from Legend of Korra.

Supercorp from CW's Supergirl

Rojarias from CW's Supergirl.

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it?

Korrasami. Not controversial much at all. (As a side note, Supercorp feels like an angstier Korrasami. Might be why I like that ship equally well. Supercorp doesn't seem controversial?)

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon?

Yes, Korrasami is canon. (Supercorp isn't necessarily canon, but there's so much evidence of it in the show that it might as well be.)

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you?

First fandom I created something for? Or first fandom where I dived into and read everything I could? Because if it's read everything I could, then it's Star Wars before Disney threw out the old Canon (still salty about that). I'd have been pretty young -- still a kid when I was devouring all the Star Wars books. I didn't have any favorite ship though while I did this.

For something I created, Korrasami was the first one I wanted to create art and writing for to be honest. That was three years ago when I started writing Korrasami.

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date?

Oh, that's a Supercorp one. I was inspired by a weird camera glitch, and wrote an unhinged horror set after season 6. The first part of it is in tumblr. I have yet to publish to AO3 mostly because I want to finish more of it before I do. Sort of loosely based on Lovecraft's Color out of Space.

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it?

Three years ago I first started drawing and writing Korrasami. Then I branched out into Supercorp.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations?

Only my trusted friends and siblings.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made?

If anyone did, they have never shared it with me. I would love to see it, and I'd treasure it always!

Though if I'm being honest. I doubt I'll ever get fanworks. Why would anyone go to that much trouble for something I wrote? I doubt anything I write is worth that much.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations?

I want to show possible healing journeys that aren't the most painful angstfest known to humanity. I want people to feel the journey too, to capture the world within the character's senses so that their tale feels real.

Whether I achieve this, I have no idea. Some people have written very kind comments stating that I have, and I am delighted by those comments.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it?

Two people have said I made a place feel alive through the storytelling and worldbuilding I did. That compliment haunts me in all the best ways, and I have done my best to try to keep that tradition going.

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!)

It was a Supercorp art piece, but after searching, I can't seem to find it again. It was Lena leaning backwards into Kara's arms, while Kara gently holds her. Colored piece, digitally drawn I think. They look almost like they were swaying back and forth.

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share)

Korrasami:

Korra looked at their entangled hands. “Yeah, yeah, it’s just some stitching.”

“And yet, that ‘some stitching’ made something wonderful.” Asami was determined to remind Korra of what she could do. It’d been her mantra for the past six months. She wanted Korra to regain her confidence, but it'd been difficult. Thanks to Asami's foolishness they'd both backslid.

Korra had called it Asami’s paranoia.

Maybe they were both right.

Supercorp:

Lena rises before dawn, prepares her corporate armor, and heads to her full-time job as CEO of L-Corp. Today’s agenda includes four meetings, one of them with the board, an hour of lab time, a brief lunch, and a visit to Florence in late afternoon.

It’s the visit with Florence that troubles her the most. The exposure to the strange artifact gave her unsettling dreams, and she woke in a cold sweat after a particularly gruesome one. In that one, she’d had no control over her body, only watched in horror as another person used her abilities to harm all she loved.

Kara had woken too, and her gentle reassurances had helped Lena fall back asleep, this time with no dreams.

Diving into work to escape the nightmares is how she copes. Perhaps not the healthiest, but undoing all her bad coping mechanisms will take far longer than just admitting they exist.

Rojarias:

Tomorrow morning? Sam reeled from the news. That gave her very little time to pack and prepare Ruby for Sam being gone a week or two.

Yet here she was again, unable to say no. Especially not when two beautiful women were looking at her expectantly.

Damn, Sam was too gay for this. “All right. Tomorrow it is.”

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several)

Yes, I have. I'm not entirely sure what exactly they published on AO3 however. I found the tiny Kara piece absolutely hilarious.

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style?

I do leave comments, yes. I share my enjoyment of the piece, sections that really stood out to me, and/or an overall feeling I got from the piece. I'm trying to be more consistent about it since I know how much comments mean to me as a writer, and I know other writers enjoy them too!

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all?

Original fiction: (on hiatus but I do plan on finishing) 3

Korrasami: 2 (plan on finishing them, yes).

Supercorp: 3 (yes, plan on finishing them.)

Rojarias: 1 (yes, I need to get on this as it's due next month actually).

Art for Supercorp: 1 (I also need to work on finishing this before the due date next month. I got the rough sketch and need to run it by the author to make sure it's what they want, before I go to town inking it).

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?

Shared Moments: Books 1 through 3 (the finished ones) took me a year. A million words no less. Whew. I'm working on Book 3.5 now. I tend toward longer works, which takes a few months to complete.

My shorter fiction (the ficlets) take less than an hour usually.

For art, it takes me one to three weeks.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published!

These paralleled kisses shake their world. (A chapter for Unraveling Realities)

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it?

I'm not really sure what counts as being "in" a fandom or not. If I enjoy something, I'll engage with it, but does the engagement mean I'm "in" the fandom now? Or do I have to create something and talk with others in the fandom to be considered "in?" How does this work?

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers

I absolutely adore Make this your home by pcrtifacts so much I even made fanart for it. It's not finished, but it's regularly updated and so, so good.

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool -- All my mutuals are really cool! And I'd love to read more of their stuff. Thanks all of you for sharing your stuff!!

The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) -- I'm not sure? Maybe the person I reblogged this from?

Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it @luthordamnvers (I honestly love the indepth knowledge of the show nic has, how willing to share that knowledge, nic's kindness, the fics they write. Honestly, all around wonderful person.)

Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things @ekingston (Shape of Soup being my favorite plus the art is amazing.)

Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things (this is hard. I really only seem to follow or find Korrasami, Supercorp, and on rarer occasions Rojarias or Dansen. There's some Star Wars folks that do fun things, but I can't remember their usernames tho.)

Someone you always tag on things like this @nottawriter

Someone you have never tagged before (I can't remember who I tagged before, so I guess whoever wants to play this game?)

Someone you would like to get to know better @pcrtifacts (love, love their make this place your home fic. And chatting in comments with pcrtifacts has been lovely.)

Someone who makes art you like -- @snazzy-korra (honestly, she's an all around amazing person, and Iove all her art and chatting with her. So grateful for our chats too.)

Someone who writes fics you like: @fazedlight (I seriously love everything mel writes. It's all so damn good. I even wrote a fanfic continuation of a piece I really liked of mel's ficlets. First and only time I've ever done that.)

I suspect some of these people have been tagged multiple times. My apologies if so. But I did want y'all to know how you're appreciated and how much I enjoy your content too. :)

#korrasami #supercorp #writing #writer #fandom questions #just for fun

[fazedlight]

Fandom creators tag game

Thank you @waytooinvested and @fabulousglitch for the tag!

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of?

Proudest fic - There are a few I tend to choose from, but right now it's Even Though You're Kryptonian

Fanvid - My Rise vid

2. What fandom(s) do you create for?

Supercorp. (And a very tiny amount of Dansen and soon Rojarias.)

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it?

Supercorp!! I don't think it's a controversial ship, lol.

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon?

They are to me 😌

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you?

My first obsession (and still greatest love) was Xena. I started watching the show a few episodes into season 1, when I was 6 years old. It was very formative.

That said, I didn't really get involved in any fandom communities until Supercorp (in early 2022).

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date?

I don't think I get super unhinged, but as a pilot I did like creating this dumb incorrect quote.

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it?

I was getting frustrated at not being able to find certain types of fics, and it struck me that... I was allowed to write my own.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations?

Yup! My partner read my first two fics in support, and several of my IRL friends have read at least one of my fics because I didn't have the good sense to keep that information to myself when I was getting started. It's mortifying lol. But my friends are very cool people.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made?

Fanworks of fanworks are amazing!!! I've been incredibly lucky to have that happen three times (post), and gotten asked for permission for a different continuation and a podfic that may eventually happen.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations?

Angst. Longing. Bits of compassion too.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it?

I love each and every one of my commenters ❤️

Honestly, the compliments that stick with me most are "I came back to reread this" or "this idea is still living rent-free in my head" type comments. I think that's what all writers and artists want - to feel that their art lasted in someone's mind beyond the first time seeing it.

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!)

Technically it was more than 24hrs ago but this art by @awaitingrain is so fucking cute!!

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share)

I have a ficlet (that's getting out of control), here's a snippet:

Lena was cozying into the warmth of Kara’s body, when Lena spoke. “I’m thinking of visiting my mother’s house soon,” she said shyly. “I want to find out more about her. Where I came from.”

“That sounds lovely,” Kara said softly.

“Do you want to come with me?” Lena asked.

Kara hesitated.

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several)

Both of them are on my reading list 👀

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style?

Some of my comments are very simple, some of my comments are very long. I've tried to get more consistent about commenting ever since starting to write, because I know how important it is. Unfortunately, I also read a lot less now that I'm writing more.

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all?

I have 5 WIPs! I'm very confident I'll finish them all.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?

I guess my worldkiller Kara fic took a bit over 3 months, though part of that was spacing with the Supercorp Big Bang.

I tend to write fast. One of the things I'm actually trying to do is slow down to fill out the story a bit more.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published!

Lena has a bad day in the lab (Clockwork).

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it?

I totally engage in fanart from other fandoms that cross my dashboard, particularly korrasami. I don't tend to read fanfic of stuff I haven't engaged in, though.

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers

This fanvid is probably my favorite in the entire fandom.

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool - oh there are so many of these!! I am tagging @mssirey who I don't think I've had a proper convo with yet

The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) - @thealieninhiding (though by the time I finish this very long post it might be someone else lol)

Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it - @jadedloverart!

Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things - @ekingston

Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things - tagging @thatonebirdwrites who makes korrasami stuff too

Someone you always tag on things like this - I'm not sure there's someone I always tag but I'll pick @nottawriter as one of the people I frequently tag when I do these things

Someone you have never tagged before - @rebellionbear have I tagged you before?? you are cool so I am tagging you!

Someone you would like to get to know better - @femslashhistorian

Someone who makes art you like - @awaitingrain along with others above!

Someone who writes fics you like - @luthordamnvers along with others above!

#ask game #mel stuff

[maddiebiscuits]

i don't know how to phrase this any other way so i hope you don't find this rude or anything: you are (imo) a very skilled, very prolific art toaster. it's great quality artwork obviously, but your turnaround is wicked crazy fast to me. what does burnout look like for you? how do you manage to toast so many arts? what dark magics must you employ??

The hard truth is I worked in journalism for two years between 2010-2012 and customer service/hospitality starting at 16 years old in 2007 all throughout my life until 2022 and I don't want to go back to any of it now that I'm almost 33 - that's the main motivator to keep my freelance gig career doing art commissions going as long as possible. Fear and loathing of going back to that work environment keeps me focused.

In action...I'm not quite sure if I ever experience 'burn out'? I do experience art 'block' in that I can't think of anything to draw on my own or feel really unsatisfied with my work...so I just goof off with my canvas or do studies, but this doesn't interfere with doing commissions where I am told what to draw.

I just enjoy the physical act of drawing. Sometimes when I'm bored and restless and going for a walk doesn't help, I just draw more. When I was a kid I would just come home from school and draw crap between playing Gameboy/N64/Gamecube or browsing Elfwood/Newgrounds/DeviantART/Gaia Online, so it's literally just a habit now. If I don't draw for a long time I feel anxious and unwell. Somehow I just programmed my brain to think that art = leisure fun time, even if it's for work. I also tend to get into a "zone" sometimes and just put on video essays or music and a few hours later I'll have worked through some commission stuff.

I have three 'task lists' for my workflow:

A public trello board organized by work order types (N/SFW link)

A personal trello board organized by type/date in chronological order

A coloured tagging and folder system in my emails where I can just see the actual dates/timestamps of my last correspondence with a client so I know exactly who in my taskboard needs to be prioritized for their next WIP update

I hold myself to a standard of sending a client a WIP in stages:

rough draft (1-14 business days)

revisions (1-5 business days)

line art (1-14 business days)

revisions (1-5 business days)

final render (1-14 business days)

tweaks (1-2 business days)

So ideally, the client gets a finished commission in 3-6 weeks, so about 1-2 months. For larger projects I send more WIPs and the process is obviously longer. For simpler stuff like chibis, it's rarely a full six weeks. Over holidays I add an extra two weeks to my noted turn-around to account for IRL time off. On all my terms of service I have a maximum four months turn-around, essentially doubling the time I know my work flow is just in case there's some sort of medical or equipment emergency in my life that I need to account for that gives me a buffer (I also notify all clients)

Monday to Friday I wake up usually...late morning/early afternoon? I do anywhere from four to eight hours of artwork, broken up by walks, stretching, eating, cleaning, cooking, hanging out with my partner, etc. I look at my personal trello taskboard and emails to see what must be done and what can wait. I try to get at least 1-2 things done in a day though, be that sketches/line art/renders/revisions.

Right now I am looking at my email and task board, and the client with the highest wait time chronologically is someone who is waiting for their final render (sketch and line art already revised and done for them). Last email correspondence with them on the email says 9 days ago (so 7 business days, I'm supposed to take Sat-Sun off). Their order was paid in full and confirmed by me on November 9 and it is currently December 13, so I'm at about the 5 week mark (not accounting for delays in clients getting back to me of course) and I am very much On Course for my work load, no one has been without contact from me for 14 days or more so I'm pretty ahead of my game right now! I could take tomorrow off if I wanted, or only do 3-4 hours of work if I feel like it.

However the more work you finish and post, the more you show prospective clients your ability to finish orders and show your audience more art for engagement, so ideally I always like posting stuff when I can, it just creates a cycle of positive production and income.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how sensitive tae / jk / tkkrs are. Like the thing you said about JK solos thinking the company and army are against him. Like if jimin had the fan base numbers and company support they had I would be thrilled and simply keep my mouth shut.

It’s especially interesting that they drag jimin so much when he poses no real threat (numbers wise) to them. Tae literally has 10 MILLION more followers than jimin on IG. And JK probably would too if he was still on IG.

What i keep coming back to is that can’t fathom jimin having the large amount of success than he has (even if it’s less than tae/jk) when he doesn’t have the traditional qualities that tae and jk have that make them the most biased. Like tae’s perfect face or JK’s boyish charm / masculinity / both of them being conventionally attractive overall, along with JK’s natural talent and Tae’s “confidence”. Jimin has all this success without those things. And I feel like that’s what bugs them and threatens them. Idk just thinking/rambling!

Here's the thing about Instagram followers... I've written about this before but I can't seem to find that post, so I guess I'll have to do another post (this one) about it.

Instagram followers are not a measure of talent or success. They never were, and never will be. I can only think of like Messi and Ronaldo who have 600 million followers as people who their instagram followers are *sort of* a reflection of how well known they are.

Armys live in a bubble; taekookers, Taehyung and JK stans live in an even smaller bubble, tho this could be true for every solo out there. They think BTS (or their particular bias) is the center of the universe, and they forget that there actually are other celebrities and musicians in the planet. They forget too that not everything that looks like success, is actually success.

Harry Styles doesn't get half the likes any BTS member gets. Harry has had several billboard 100 singles, many of them were #1 and As It Was is still charting. Yet he has even less followers than Jimin, I think. Harry has been touring non-stop for more than a year, now. You'd think he wouldn't have fans to attend his shows when you look at his posts with 1 - 2 million likes. He sold 500k albums the first week on the US. BTS sell ~200K. Beyonce gets less likes than any BTS member, too. Yet she's on a sold out stadium tour around the world right now. Coldplay has less than 20 million followers yet they've been active as a group since 1996, and they also are on a stadium tour right now. The same stadiums that BTS played in two or three times, Coldplay has had up to 8 sold out dates in those stadiums.

Now, for the final bosses. Taylor Swift gets around 7 millions likes on her posts. She's also on a stadium tour right now. Her albums that were released 15 years ago and she's re-releasing now, are still getting one million preorders in the first day, only in the USA. She gets 80 million streams on her spotify profile, DAILY. Everyday.

BTS right now has 73 million followers on their bts_bighit account, and it was a smaller number before but in 2021 they were already getting 100 million views for butter in the first 24 hours.

For Christmas 2020, Jimin released Christmas Love, unannounced. Literally they just posted a link, and the youtube audio got I think 10 million in the first day. Later that day, Taehyung went on weverse to announce he'd be releasing snow flower that night. It debuted with less views than Christmas Love, even if it had been announced. The members opened their instagram accounts on December 6th 2021 (I'm just going by memory here, so I might be slightly wrong on the date). Taehyung immediately was "on the lead" regarding followers, immediately gathered a few million more than any other member. Taehyung then released Christmas Tree in the end of December 2021. Debut streams: roughly 1.5 million. If even half of his followers had tuned in (on Spotify) for his song, you'd think he would've done better than 1.5 million streams. With you was released four months later and, despite having only half the tracking time and despite "unpopular" Jimin having less instagram followers than Taehyung, with you got a better first day streams. To this day, it still gains streams faster than Christmas Tree.

As a sidenote, I don't think it's a small detail that instagram followers and likes are way easier to fake and fraud than streams. In the end, Jimin is a musician and the only way he can "prove" anything about himself, or his popularity or success, it's through his music and his performances. I think it's clear he himself doesn't even care that much about his instagram profile.

The same goes for Jungkook's lives viewers, which was something I was thinking about the other day. He released music last year, and last year he was already getting 15, 20 million viewers (which his fans claim are unique viewers), but his songs debuted with not even half of that. And we know how streams work; one person could stream the same song 10, 20 times. So how come he doesn't get 40 million streams a day? Or at least one day in the year? If we were to assume that 20 million different people watch his lives, those 20 million could also play his song once or twice at least one day in the year. But that doesn't happen.

So that's why I could never be bothered about instagram followers and likes... it really never mattered to me. Records in general don't matter to me, and I've said it plenty of times. There are some Jimin "records" and numbers that I wasn't even aware of until FACE was released. I didn't know that with you was more streamed than stay alive or christmas tree, for example. There's some stuff I'm finding out only because other people post about it, not because I'm constantly checking up on Jimin's and other member's numbers.

I can only go with Taehyung's old releases numbers because he hasn't released anything in a while. Also, a random OST is not the same as a proper debut, so I am aware that nobody really knows how well he could do with his debut. But the truth is that -IN THE PAST- his streams and singles sales have always been lower than Jimin's; the only member who's on par with Jimin on that, is Jungkook. Maybe for his debut Taehyung will finally release a fun song that people actually want to listen to.

On the other hand, now that Jimin has "set records" with his debut album, when Taehyung and Jungkook's albums come out, they will try to out-do Jimin's numbers, and when the next Jimin album comes out, people will try to out-do taekook's numbers and so on and on. So unless it's a really extraordinary thing that could hardly be replicated (like Jimin's BB #1), other than that, records of numbers are a really fickle thing to hold on to. The only reason I talked about them in this post was to make a point that instagram followers really do not always correlate to how "successful" or loved, or supported someone is.

As for your last paragraph, firstly I'm really uncomfortable and tired of the backhanded "compliments" like Jimin is doing great, but not as great as Taehyung or Jungkook. Like what is the actual purpose? I know they will do well, but the undermining of Jimin's achievements is insane and so unnecessary. The day Jungkook's and Taehyung's albums were announced too, it was "the most successful kpop soloists in the world" when Jimin is literally right there, being exactly that right now. Why have most people in this fandom incorporated the backhanded compliments in their vocabulary? Being lowkey or even highkey shady towards Jimin is almost like an unconscious thing for most these days.

Talking specifically about the hate he gets from Taehyung's Jungkook's stans, what you mentioned is half of the reason why. The other half is, ships. The other half of the hate is because of taekook.

They have convinced themselves that Instagram followers and such, are a measure of success. They have convinced themselves that Jimin is not talented, that he can't sing, that he can't dance, that all these years he was pushed by the company as something he's not and that his whole personality is a lie. They fight so hard against the love he receives because they genuinely think he doesn't deserve it for all of those reasons they've invented themselves. Then some YouTuber shows up and reacts to a BTS live song and goes "oh this Jimin guy sounds the best" and they think he's been paid to say that. The idea they have of him has never correlated with the image the real world has of him, and that's what bothers them. If someone says I love this song, they just HAVE to be on his business and spam "this song is awful" because they think it's wrong to like him and want others to feel that way about him too.

That's never going to happen because the real world isn't chronically online, feeding themselves lies the way Taehyung and JK stans are.

It's also interesting, but not really, that according to them Jimin is a "flop" but Jimin is the only one they're always trying to surpass. So how exactly is he flopping if he's their biggest competition. All BTS members are competing with themselves as of right now, none of them stand a chance next to already stablished artists with proven global, stable success like Harry or Taylor. Didn't bad bunny get 1 billion streams on his album the FIRST day? That happened last year. And JK stans were so proud of Jungkook getting it in 409 days. I'd like to see Jungkook or Taehyung stans try and argue how successful they are compared to people like those I mentioned. All BTS members are competing with themselves, but none of them are actually stablished as solo acts, especially in the states. All of them are still confined to kpop so far. Jimin has probably started to crack the surface because Like Crazy was quite successful in the USA and even the UK, and there were a lot of things that gave it publicity, but even then that's just a crack and it takes time to settle as an undisputed successful solo artist. No BTS member has the time to do that.

[zot3-flopped]

Seems like there is a lot of talk about fan fiction right now and it's made me think about my introduction to the larry world. I was a larry-curious/sort of believer for about 10-12 weeks at the beginning of the pandemic. Like millions of other people I was stuck in a small apartment in Chicago and my boyfriend got stuck in Spain for over 3 months. I was really loving Harry's Fine Line and hoping to see him when he set a Chicago tour date. I'd never been a One D fan - I'd come to Harry through Sign of the Times and then just stayed (still here actually!). I wasn't even really aware of Louis. But in that scary time, all alone, one Harry link led to another, then all of a sudden I was down the larry rabbit hole. It's just another quick jump to the larry fan fic world and I spent a lot of time just reading. Some of the stories are good, it's a world where nothing ever ends up bad and the over the top romance is appealing to lonely people. But reading that fan fiction is what made me actually start to question larry (that and just my reentry into the world once the total lockdown stuff was over). But I kept recognizing things in the stories that seemed to be canon in the actual real person Harry/Louis stories. And I realized pretty quickly that it was actually fan fic creating tropes for real people , as opposed to using real people stories to create fan fic. Long story short, it was just another couple of quick clicks through some debunking posts and I realized what a conspiracy laden mess it all was and I moved on. Forward 4 years and I'm still a Harry fan (got to see him twice!), however it's just amazing to me that the larry stuff is still going. But just today I saw two posts on Twitter that basically reference things from fan fic - and it's like they are linking it to real life Harry Louis. The real world and the fan fic world have almost completely blended in these people's minds and it's scary to see. This is 13 years from the start and almost 7-8? years since they've even been seen together - but I think the fan fic world keeps it going and going and going. It's really, really strange, as well as deeply unsettling when you realize how easy it is to fall into it all. I think lots of people are sort of looking back 4 years right now and thinking about what they were doing - and then all the fan fic chatter, just made me try to put some of that time into perspective. I'd never read fan fic before that, and I've never read any since then, but the success of the larry fan fic writers has as much to do with the longevity of the larry myth as anything else in my opinion. Hope that all makes sense! Always enjoy reading your thoughts!

Thank you! Yes, fan fic still fuels the fandom, although there are far fewer Larry fics posted on A03 than there were ten years ago.

#larries #louis tomlinson #harry styles

[woafofbread]

Hey so I noticed it has been a while since you updated the klance hanahaki comic. Are you planning on continuing it? Because I really like it and I wanna know what happens.

I'm so sorry it's been literal years and I'm going to use this ask to dump all the sketches I did cuz I really did have a lot of the parts planned out but I didn't have the motivation to line and color everything.

And sorry to anon if you don’t like klance anymore I know some people had conflicted feelings about them they would rather not be brought up again. Feel free to ignore this if that’s the case. 

So here were all the pages I got done.

The scene below takes place before page 7 so it is Keith's first time coughing up flowers and the time where Hunk finds the flowers in the trash comes later. 

 Here is my translation because my handwriting is terrible

I made the lines of dialogue split up so if a person talks and keeps talking into the next panel I wrote their name again for the next line of dialogue if that makes sense. 

Page 1:

Keith(internally): What am I doing here? (as he sits at Lance's family dinner table)

Lance: Pass the peas por favor

Veronica: So Keith, I'm not sure if I've told you but you are somewhat of a legend in the McClain household.

Keith: Really? Why?

Page 2:

Veronica: Lance talks about you all the time ever since you both went to the Garrison. It's crazy we haven't had you over cause it's kind of a family tradition.

Veronica: To bring significant others over. 

Lance: What? No! *slams table*

*Lance’s family members in the background nodding their heads*

Veronica: C’mon Lance just admit it. 

Lance: How many times do I have to tell you Keith is just a friend?

Page 3:

Keith: Sorry Veronica. Lance is right. 

Keith: Lance wouldn’t date me if I was the last person in space. 

Keith: Now if you’ll excuse me-

Keith: Where’s the bathroom? 

Veronica: It’s over there to your right. 

Page 4:

(Keith in the bathroom)

Keith: After all these years why do I feel like this? 

Keith: *cough*

Keith: What the? *sees flowers in the sink* 

And you can ignore the last frame because I didn’t want to use it. But it’s basically Keith’s monologue about the situation. Here’s my best translation. 

Keith: I accepted a long time ago that Lance wouldn’t love me but I still have feelings for him. You know how lance is. If he found out he would try to love me back for my sake and I don’t want him to do that. If I forget him then he won't have me to be there for him. He was there for me and I have to return the favor. That’s why I can’t do- (and that’s all I wrote) 

This next scene comes after page 9 and Shiro confronts Keith about the flowers

The group scenes here were something I was pretty intimidated to draw so a lot of them are just circles. 

Page 1: 

Shiro: Are you feeling okay Keith?

Keith: Uh yeah I’m fine 

Shiro: I know when you’re not fine Keith. I think it would be a good idea for you to stay away from Lance while we figure this out.  

Keith: Shiro! He’s my friend you can’t just tell me to avoid him!

Shiro: I’m telling you for your safety. I’m sure Lance would want you to be safe too. 

Page 2:

Keith: Fine

Shiro: Don’t worry, it’s just until we sort this out. 

Keith: Yeah okay. 

(Shiro tells him to stay away from Lance because he knows that if Lance finds out and doesn’t feel the same Keith will die. Also any time Keith feels rejected by Lance the flowers will get worse. And if Shiro tells Lance to stay away he’ll ask questions and he would most likely do something impulsive.) 

Next scene: (It’s a group scene ironically with Lance in it so Keith tries to stay away but it doesn’t work so well)

Lance: Hey Keith!

Keith(shortly): Hey Lance. *avoiding eye contact*

Lance: Uh okay then... Do you know what today’s meeting is about?

Shiro: It’s about Keith’s condition. 

(Inserted from other page) Lance: So Keithy’s in love with somebody after all. 

Keith: Shut it. 

Shiro: We need to find a way to remove the plants and we need help from all of you to do it. 

Page 3: 

Shiro: Pidge you’re in charge of finding a way to safely remove the flowers. 

Pidge: Got it. 

Shiro: Hunk you’re in charge of making sure Keith gets plenty of rest. 

Hunk: Got it!

Keith: I don’t need a babysitter Shiro. 

Lance: What about me Shiro?

Shiro: Oh uh Lance you’re-

Keith: In charge of staying as far away from me as possible. 

Lance: *wtf Keith* 

Shiro: No you’ll be in charge of getting the supplies Pidge needs. You’ll be with me. 

End Scene

(Keith might seem a little mean in this scene but it’s mostly cause he’s salty he was just told to avoid lance and then Shiro calls a team meeting to tell everyone his condition with Lance there. He doesn’t want Lance to find out so he acts cold towards him kind of like how they were in season ones but Lance is confused because he though their relationship was better. And Kieth’s coldness affects Lance’s perspective later in the story.) 

So moving forward things might seem a little disjointed because I hadn’t figured out how to get each scene to flow into each other. I just had a bunch of scenes and wasn’t sure how they would fit. It was a big part of why I hadn’t posted the story. I’ll try my best to piece them together in a way that fits.

This next scene is brief but Lance basically runs into Keith in the hallway. 

Page 1: 

Lance: Keith?

Lance: You alright? 

Keith: Yeah I’m- *almost faints and falls into Lance’s arms*

Keith: I’m fine I’m fine

Lance: Yeah clearly you’re not. I’m taking you to the med bay. 

Keith: *starts aggressively coughing up flowers*

Page 2:

Lance: Keith! Are you okay? (I cut it out because its repetitive and I think they were meant to be two different scenes but I combined them) 

Keith: *Shoves Lance away* 

Lance: Keith what-

Keith: Lance I need you to leave me alone for a while. 

Keith: *Leaves* and leaves a very worried Lance behind. 

End Scene

After Lance see Keith in so much pain Lance wants to find the one who is causing it. Also Lance wants to know who Keith fell for in general. Hence this next scene. 

Page 1: 

Lance: I’ve decided! I’m gonna find out who Keith likes.

Pidge: And you’re telling me this why, Lance?

Lance: Because you’re the only one around Pidge. You should know this by now. 

Pidge: Now I see why I didn’t miss living with you. (I should probably mention this is post season 8 and they are back traveling together in space for the most part other than the visit to earth. They come and go as they please and still go on missions together :D )

Pidge: Why do you care so much anyways??

Lance: It’s just really surprising that Keith’s in love with anyone. He’s not a really lovey-dovey guy so I want to find out who won his heart you know?

Lance: *starts to leave the room*

Pidge (under her breath): Lance we both know why you really want to know so much. 

End scene 

And I really don’t remember how Lance’s “yeah I know” fits into the conversation. It could have in response to Pidge’s comment about why he wants to know but I’m not sure so interpret it how you like. 

Page 2: 

Lance(Alone in his bedroom holding one of Keith's  hanahaki petals in his hand): Is it selfish to wish that it was me? 

(Little does Lance know...)

This scene is Pidge the next day doing her part in the mission to save Keith- observing the petals that Keith coughed out

I put in stars because I changed the dialogue around after I decided to add a scene with Shiro telling Keith to stay away and I wanted it to be before this scene. So I will just write what I meant to change the dialogue to.

Pidge: This petal is definitely from the spores you breathed in.

Keith: What have you got Pidge?

Pidge: It looks like the petals flowers have taken root in your lungs and are growing. (she would have taken some sort of x-ray to be able to see that)

Keith: How do I make them stop?

Pidge: The best way would be to avoid whoever is causing one sided love for you so Lance.

(I wanted to add Keith being slightly surprised that she knew here)

Keith: Shiro already told me to do that. It’s still gotten worse and Lance has started to notice.

Pidge: You could just confess to him.

Keith: *no response*

Pidge: Yeah figured as much. Well then you’re gonna have to wait until I find a safe way to remove them then. 

Keith: I’m counting on you Pidge. 

Pidge: Don’t worry, I’m the one who put you in this mess and I’ll be the one to get you out. 

(Pidge feels guilty for know knowing that the flower was this dangerous and is doing her best to help fix her mistake.)

Meanwhile the next scene is Shiro and Lance on their mission on a plant filled planet to find some plants that might work as a cure to Keith's hanahaki. 

Lance: Shiro, can I ask you something? 

Shiro: Of course Lance what is it?

Lance: It’s just that Keith has been really distant towards me lately. 

Shiro(internally): Shoot he noticed. 

Lance: I don’t know if I did something wrong or if he’s just stressed or-

Shiro: Lance if there’s one thing I’ve learned from knowing Keith all these years it’s that you can’t read Keith’s mind when somethings bothering him. 

Shiro: If you think you did something wrong then just apologize first. He’s probably not even mad at you to begin with. Things will work out. 

Lance: Thanks Shiro. 

Shiro: No problem Lance. 

End Scene

Meanwhile Back on the ship Hunk and Keith chat. 

Hunk: It’s Lance isn’t it? 

Keith: Hunk I swear to god if you tell him-

Hunk: I won’t dude don’t worry.

Keith: How did you know?

Hunk: Process of elimination mostly. And you don’t seem like the type to fall in love with a random alien. You’d have to be close to them. 

Hunk: And I know you really care about him so...

Keith: I do.

End Scene

 Lance is back from the mission and Keith really tries his best to avoid Lance but he is persistent. And he takes Shiro’s advice to heart. 

Page 1: 

Lance runs into Keith in the hallway and they stare at each other for a moment and then Keith tries to run away. 

Lance: Keith, wait!

Lance: You can’t hide from me this time mullet. 

Page 2: 

Lance: I figured out why you’re avoiding me. 

Keith: And why’s that Lance?

Lance: It’s because I’m the one who made the pollen spring up into your face. 

Keith: Why would you think that?

Lance: You're not denying it. 

Lance: Seriously, listen Keith, I’m really sorry. It was stupid of me and I didn’t do it intentionally. 

Keith: You’re not stupid Lance. 

Keith: And I promise this isn’t your fault. It’s just something I need to work out on my own. 

Keith(gets up): Thanks for worrying though. 

Keith: Bye Lance.

Lance: Yeah... See ya. 

Lance: I really hope everything's okay. 

Keith(in the other room): *coughing up flowers*

End Scene

After this conversation the Hanahaki will start to get worse. 

Now we get to Hunk carrying out his mission- making sure Keith is okay.

Keith: What do you want Hunk?

Hunk: To talk. 

Keith: I care about Lance so much I can barely share the same room with him. Not really a topic I want to talk about. 

Hunk: Fine then. 

Hunk: I’ll be here to listen.

Keith: Thanks Hunk.

Hunk: No problem buddy. 

End scene

I really liked Keith and Hunks friendship in season 7 and I feel it is very underrated and not talked about. 

This scene comes a bit later as the hanahaki continues to progress. And Keith takes up Hunk’s offer to talk. 

The first two drawings are not included in this scene (this page was one of the first things I had drawn for this story idea) but they say:

Keith: There’s nothing you can do to help me Lance. 

Keith(internally): It’s not like you could every feel the same way about me. 

Scene with Hunk start

Hunk: Why don’t you just confess to him? 

Keith: For the same reason I try to comfort him about Allura. I want him to be happy. Either way I know he’ll never feel the same way about me. 

End scene

This scene is after Pidge checks up on how the flowers are and sees they have gotten much worse. Pidge confronts Keith but he is stubborn. 

Page 1:

Pidge: If you don’t get those flowers out at the rate they’re growing you're going to suffocate on them within the week. 

Keith: well then it’s a good thing I have you as my doctor right?

Pidge: Keith this isn't some joke! Your life is at stake! 

Page 2:

Pidge: You have to confess to him. 

Keith: I can’t do that. 

Pidge: Why not?

Keith: ...

Pidge: Are you seriously saying you’d rather die than tell him you’ve been crushing on him since we first got out into space?!

Keith: Guess I am. *Leaves* 

End Scene

(I tried to have Keith showing his self sacrificing tendencies here. :/ )

This next scene leads up to the ending and it its probably the longest. Pidge’s research did not amount to anything and the flowers are worsening at a rate that she can not come up with a cure in time. Keith is in very bad condition and starts coughing up blood along with his flowers. 

Page 1: 

Keith(under his breath): God I feel awful. 

Lance: Hey Keith I see you’ve finally come out of your cave. 

Lance: Keith you alright buddy?

Keith: *starts falling unconscious*

Lance: Keith!

Page 2: 

(cut to Keith in Hospital bed) 

Lance: I can’t believe this. 

(Lance and Hunk talk to each other in the hallway outside his room) 

Lance: He’s probably been suffering all this time and didn’t even bother to tell us. 

Lance: He should know that he doesn’t have to do everything by himself! Whoever is doing this to Keith is going to have hell to pay. 

Hunk: Good luck in hell then buddy. 

Hunk(internally): Sh*t I should not have said that. 

Page 3: 

Lance: Hunk.... what do you mean by that?

Hunk: Keith made me swear not to tell you but given that he’s on his deathbed, and you're the only person that can save him I guess there’s no point in keeping it from you. 

Hunk: Keith is in love with you. 

Lance: *runs off* 

Hunk: Lance!

Page 4: 

Lance(next to asleep Keith in his hospital bed): Keith. Don’t you dare leave me. 

Keith: *starts stirring*

Lance: Keith!

Keith: Lance? What’s wrong?

Lance: Why didn’t you tell me?

Keith: What are you talking about? 

Lance: About how you have feelings for me.

Keith: How did- 

Keith: *turns and glares at Hunk*

Hunk: Sorry bro

Page 5: 

Lance: Well?!

Keith: ...I know assumed you’re straight so you didn’t need to know.

Keith: I knew you’d try and force it to save me. 

Lance: Keith. 

Lance: *kisses him* (with bad kissing drawing imo)

Lance: What made you think I wouldn’t like you back?

Page 6: 

Keith: I love you. 

Page 7: 

Keith: Looks like I’m healed. 

Lance: Oh thank god. 

Lance: Love you mullet. 

Keith: Love you too. 

End Scene

Here’s a doddle of them being happy after all that angst. 

Lance: I can’t believe it took me this long to braid your hair. 

Keith: You never asked. 

And that’s the whole story! I have some other klance comics in my sketches that I've never posted but they are not as in depth as fleshed out as this one was. I always wanted to finish it but this will have to do. I wanted to include more scenes with Lance to make it clear that he felt the same way about Keith but I feel like the scene with the petal makes that clear enough for now. 

I’ve always looked up to klance artists like ikimaru and binart and erithel for having such amazing klance comics and they are still making Klance comics to to this day! I highly recommend all their works. I always wanted to have a perfect finished product of this comic but I have many other comics I want to work on now. I still love Klance though that’s for sure. I still doodle them every once and a while. 

And here’s a current sketch I did at 2 am after writing most of this post. 

Lance: Remember when you almost died because you were too scared to confess to me? 

Keith: *sigh* You’re never gonna let me live that down are you? 

Lance: Never ❤

#klance #vld #long post #extremely long post #I'm surprised I didn't get an image or word limit reached #keith #lance #keith x lance #v*ltron #The obliagatory- Klance in 2022?? #my art

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Domestic (7) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

A Day in the Life of Dan and Phil in Quarantine! (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Phil posts a Day in the Life video of a typical day in quarantine.

A Sleepless Night With Phil (ao3) - Not_Dans_Secret_Account

Summary: A jet-lagged Sleepless Night With Phil

adapt (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: this is the story of how dan grew to love neon lights

After All These Years (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: They met her after tour. Martyn’s friend’s dog had puppies and Phil fell in love at first sight. Dan did too, but he’ll deny it if you ask.

Dan tries to keep his distance, because she’s Phil’s dog not his, but she isn’t having any of it.

baby blue and bubblegum pink (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Dan paints his nails. Phil wants to try it.

Basically I'm Gay (ao3) - ChainedKura

Summary: Dan is editing his coming out video when a deep sadness takes over his body. Lucky for him, he counts with a Phil Lester on his side that will do everything in his power to make his partner feel better.

blankets, coffees and afternoon naps (ao3) - zsunsetz

Summary: Blankets, coffee and afternoon naps have become the new normal.

celestial (ao3) - sunflowerwitches

Summary: phil wants to help dan love himself a bit more during quarantine

Chocolate swirls (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dan tries to surprise Phil for his 33rd. He fails, as humans do, but ten years later he has luckily got two adorable little helpers at his side. And maybe that makes everything just a little better.

Dan and Phil and DOG (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: It’s Phil’s birthday, and Dan gets him a gift that’s long overdue

distracted (ao3) - sunflowerwitches

Summary: phil telling dan a story but dan isn't paying attention at all because he’s too busy thinking about what a cutie phil is.

Or

a fic that I planned to write for BIG anniversary and didn’t finish it until a few days ago

every kiss is a cursive line (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Iydlmp Dan and Phil through the months of trials and tribulations it takes to plan a wedding… and the wedding itself. (Sort of)

Feet in jelly and eyes looking past the camera (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil asks Dan to help film him when he is trying out this spa kit with a jelly bath. What could go wrong?

Forever Home (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil’s wanted a dog for as long as he can remember, and now that he and Dan are moving into their new house, it’s the perfect opportunity. But there’s just one problem: Phil’s allergic to dogs.

Hang In There, Baby (ao3) - elated_witch

Summary: Dan and Phil document their journey to parenthood through videos

Here’s some faves from my camera roll this year (ao3) - natigail

Summary: 1 birthday tweet. 4 photos. 4 domestic memories. 1 smiling Phil. 1 fond Dan.

I can't help falling in love with you (again) (ao3) - Findus26

Summary: "Do you ever miss that feeling of being newly in love? Like, those first date jitters? Butterflies, if you will?"

It's 2020, the world is falling apart and Dan can't help thinking back to October 2009 when everything was new and exciting. Phil finds a way to recreate the feeling

i come undone when you're gone (ao3) - heartbreakordeath

Summary: who knows what the future holds (i don't know)

don't matter if i got you, got you (i got you)

~bastille, 'future holds'

or: the US tour is over. it's time for dan to come home.

I'd marry you (with paper rings) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Maybe learning calligraphy was of greater importance to Phil, and them, than Dan first thought

It’s in the air and it’s all around, can you feel me now? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: After filming Cards Against Humanity PHAN EDITION, Dan gets an idea into his head involving his DDR mat. He is so focused on that that he nearly misses how Phil starts planning another thing related to the video.

If anyone asks, lap dancing is the perfect way to celebrate a high score on DDR.

Kisses Through The Years (ao3) - undertalednp

Summary: Phil wanted this forever.

And so, forever is what he got.

Night In (ao3) - counting2fifteen

Summary: Phil feels bad after a five second fight with his boyfriend. He is extra soft to make up for it.

quarantine date night (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Dan and Phil have a date-night in during the corona virus lockdown.

Rain (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan), schnaf

Summary: When their dinner date gets ruined, the boys need to find a way to make it work.

rip the plaster (ao3) - theloveofbees

Summary: dan isn't sure if things are moving too fast or too slow. nothing is going according to plan. he doesn't know what he's doing. but maybe it's time to just rip the plaster.

Since We've No Place to Go (ao3) - tellsfromhale

Summary: Christmas 2020 is unlike any that's come before and (hopefully) any that will come after. Dan and Phil have to learn how to adjust to the year as it comes.

something visual, not too abysmal (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Dan and Phil get ready for the late night, double feature picture show.

Stacks of pancakes as tall as my love for you (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil loves pancakes and he loves Pancake Day but he isn't really in his usual mood for it when the day comes around in 2021. It's a pleasant and befuddling surprise when he finds Dan has taken on a surprise pancake project all on his own.

take a break (ao3) - howellesterfics

Summary: It's late and Dan has been working on his book all day; Phil gets him to relax and rest

Take a Break (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is too tired to function because of tour, so Dan takes care of him (despite also being quite tired).

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

tiny hands and lots of love (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil puts baby Evelyn to bed, so him and Dan can get some alone time. But just like her Da, she has to grab things no matter what - even if it means prying something as important as Phil's glasses from his face.

Lucky she's cute, and that her dads are both too distracted (and in love, with each other and her antics) to properly reprimand her.

waking up in your arms with my mind on you and me (ao3) - natigail

Summary: On October 19th 2021, Phil wakes up first. Twelve years ago he woke up way too early, nervous for their first meeting and now they are waking up in their shared bed in their forever home. Phil allows himself to be a little sappy but it's okay because Dan easily joins him.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #masterlists #domestic masterlist #domestic

[trashbinbackyard]

1-20 mhairi & ihn + whichever armed asshats pair you want

Let me put your anxieties at ease, this is my preferred way of getting these prompts, one shared pair and one i get to pick bc there’s blorbos brewing in my head

You get academic old man yaoi with Osman and Konstantin

1. What were their first impressions of one another?

I think they met for the first time when they were still starting out. Ihn has always respected Mhairi, and they’ve had a friendly rivalry going on. For many years he wasn’t romantically interested and everything was strictly professional/platonic. He would be lying if he said Mhairi wasn’t a looker tho

They met each other the first time in the academy d’Arcane when Osman was visiting a class and they sat next to each other, they were in their late 20’s. Osman thought Konstantin was intense and Konstantin thought Osman was too loud.

2 .What was their first date like? If they haven’t been on a date yet, how would it go? 

They were old and in a situation of a century ago agreeing to go on a date if they were single still and welp, widowed and tragically broken up with is one way to get there. So they picked a bar, went for drinks and then things might’ve gotten spicy

It was a study date in a cafe which also was the unofficial gathering place of all the city’s cats (the basis for Nia Vasileos in Istanbul so). They bonded over love of coffee, pastries and magic

3. It’s late at night and your characters want food, what do they order/find in the fridge? 

I bet Mhairi has all kinds of fancy stuff like fresh exotic fruits, nuts and the like, i get more ingredient house vibes from her than snack house, and also they’re both loaded so minimal cooking is done. She could also just call up some food. Ihn would rummage through the cabinets and curse not having any snacks handy so almonds it is, or call up some food.

Konstantin is a pretty picky eater, Osman not so much. Konstantin is also the type of guy to prepare meals so if Osman is hungry, one day’s meal might go missing. But they also keep a lot fruits in the house to satisfy most hunger pangs, and also bread

4. What’s a typical Sunday like for them? 

Ihn’s long retired so he does fuck all, naps thruout the day, reads, watches the news etc., grandpa activities Mhairi is welcome to join. He also likes following Mhairi around when she’s doing her thing, sorting out her stuff. Sunday is a lazy day

They’re both insanely busy, Osman serves the palace and the crescent university, and has his own pet projects, so Sunday’s for him is working on his own things like painting and drawing. Konstantin needs to check in on the academy every day but on Sundays he’s like “if something is not on fire right it can wait a day, and if something is on fire you have a building full of mages, figure something out”. So he’s at home chilling with Osman, makes them both afternoon coffee and reads in the same room Osman is painting in.

5. What’s their love language like? Are they compatible with one another? 

Quality time, acts of service for Ihn, third would be physical touch, he knows how the nedians get with touch.

Osman is loud and touchy, Konstantin is more reserved but he also likes physical affection, just somewhere no one can see. Quality time together too, what’s better than two academics having dinner

6. Do they have any pet names/nicknames for eachother? 

“Old [insert thing here]” but like, in a loving way

My beloved, love, etc in their native tongues, (haven’t come up with the regions they’re from but Konstantin is greek-ish and Osman would be arabic)

7. What do they argue about? 

I think their arguments have mostly been about how to handle something

Their most common argument is how the other doesn’t make enough time for the other

8. Who does what chores, and why? 

Hoooousekeeping

Konstantin cooks more, both clean up after each other, Osman handles fixing things and buying necessities

9. What’s the most difficult thing they’ve been through together? 

Ihn being widowed, losing his son and daughter-in-law, losing his granddaughter in a very short span of time. Mhairi’s dealings with Xiulan and the catastrophic end to that, they were always each other’s shoulder to cry on.

Dunno yet

10. How do they make up after a fight? 

Talk it through once calmed down, work together for a solution to whatever they were fighting about, kiss and make up

Osman writes an apology monologue worthy of awards and Konstantin will get Osman his favorite baklava

11. Who causes the most arguments? 

I think pretty equally, both can get really stubborn

Osman can be a little inconsiderate, but not maliciously, he’s just gets so excited about stuff he might forget to consult Konstantin

12. What would they say each other’s worst quality is? 

The other being stubborn, stuck in their way, Ihn has a bad habit of not taking things seriously until it blows up on his face, Ihn thinks Mhairi miiiight take a little too much joy out of putting people down but hey, captains gotta captain

Osman has his head in the clouds, and sometimes forgets to focus on things that matter more. Konstantin is 

13. What would they say each other’s best quality is? 

Ihn’s always loved Mhairi’s wit, and ambition

Osman is endlessly curious and creative. Konstantin is extremely loyal and intelligent (well they both are)

14. How would they describe one another if asked? 

It would be really hard to get Ihn to describe Mhairi in a genuine manner, but under all those layers of sarcasm, he thinks really highly of them, Mhairi is intelligent in both knowledge and socially, ambitious, ready to do everything to get what she wants, looks out for those who really matter to her. They’ve known each other for so long 

They both would say the other is the smartest man in Nia Vasileos. A big “no you” “no u” type of argument would ensue

15. What names are they saved as on each other’s phone? 

Ihn has Mhairi marked down as “ball and chain” ironically, he switches it sometimes to other weapons/guns

No phones, but both would refer to the other by their name

16. What would they consider quality time? 

Good food, good drinks, great backdrop, reminiscing about all their greatest heists.

17. Who decides which movies to watch? 

They insult each other into submission: “Oh you wanna watch *war movie*? what are you 900 years old?” / “very rich coming from the guy who wants to watch troy, you just wanna see 200 bare chested men”

They take turn on deciding which theater show to go see, their tastes are very similar

18. How are they like on a road trip together? 

Whenever they take an interplanetary trip, Ihn insists on being the pilot, that’s his bread and butter. Mhairi arranges the places they’ll be staying at

Long carriage/boat rides would be mostly spent napping and reading by them both

19. It’s raining, did either of your OCs bring an umbrella? If so, who, and do they share it? 

Mhairi has a large coat, she could hoist up in case of sudden rain. They both come prepared for the weather though most of the time, just one thing less to worry about, and you don’t get to rule a space pirate empire without knowing how to prepare.

Konstantin can just move the rain away from them, a trick Osman is trying to learn

20. What are they like when sharing a bed?

Ihn is way smaller, so little spoon, also he snores so he can’t be trusted to sleep on his back, also his back hurts most of the time, and his leg. Mhairi has similar ailments so I think there will be a lot pillows involved to prop things into the right angle 

Konstantin sleeps like carcass, on his back, unmoving. Osman wraps around him and Konstantin leans his head in to kiss him goodnight

#space shitstorm #armed asshats #osman is a man of many talents #leonardo da vinci kinda swag #konstantin is the headmaster of the academie d'arcane #and osman works for both the palace and the university he's stretched pretty thin #AND they have a pet tressym (a cat with wings) her name is yesmin and she invited herself to stay with them #the istan- i mean nia vasileos cat dispenser works great #so long no ihn and mhairi and thats partly my fault #they act like they hate each other but actually they love each other sooo much and have been there for each other during their darkest time #and now they get to relax a lil #ihn is mhairi's nro 1 enabler

[wildechild17]

Mag 7 wip

something I'm working on as a side project for NaNo, decided I'd share a little (not really) excerpt here, just because i could

Sam Chisolm wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but as he stood in the sparsely decorated apartment in London, it wasn’t… this.

It was, in fact, sparse. There was a small kitchen, a couch with a pullout that looked slept in, a bathroom, and a tiny closet. It was by no means a luxury place, but it was just one level above being condemned, if you asked Sam.

The man’s heart broke a little as he took it in. There was no sign of the occupant he was looking for, not that he knew who he was looking for—his boss had simply given him this address and said the person who lived here would be a good addition to the team if Sam could convince them.

Given the fact of who the rest of the team was made up of, Sam had two guesses as to whose place he was standing in. Past experiences told him one was more likely than the other.

Something caught his eye, a leatherbound book sitting among the blankets on the pullout. Curious, Sam wandered over, reaching for the book. He flipped through it, noting it was some mix between a journal and a scrapbook. The first entry dated back to just over eleven years ago, and Sam couldn’t help but read.

9-29-12

I’ve always known my family had powers… how could I not, when mom uses hers to heal those in our family, and when both she and gran have told me about other members of our… bloodline? Apparently, the blood is important… and their abilities.

I just assumed, like everyone before me, that it skipped generations… Instead, I woke up this morning with my own abilities. Powers… magic? I like the idea of calling it magic. Who knows, I may have them sooner and didn’t realize it… Skipper had died during the night, and when mom and Aunt Elenore asked who I was greeting this morning because to them it was empty air… I told them Skip, and I was then informed he’d passed in his sleep, so how could I be seeing him?

One quick test later, my mom declared that a) I had magic, and b) it could be classified as necromancy. That’s… a terrifying, truthfully, prospect, but… I can handle it. I hope.

At least it’s the weekend before fall break, so mom can help me figure out how to start managing it. I’m in senior year, so it’s not like I’ll have to hide it from the others as school for long. If I go to college, I can get by with strictly online classes, I think.

Mom suggested I use a journal to track my progress, but I’ve never been the best at keeping records, even school wise. Hopefully with something to keep track of, that’ll change.

I’ll make another entry when something of importance happens, I guess.

10-10-12   10-9-12/10-10-12

What the fuck is my life, truly?

With the influx of my powers, came something else… my memories. I guess necromancy and reincarnation can go hand in hand, because this isn’t the first time I’ve lived. I started having dreams and flashbacks during break, of an older version of myself set back in the Wild West. I thought it was just some weird dream/fantasy thing since… well, since I’m sort of obsessed with that era, anyways, but… no. It all came rushing back to me, today, during fifth period, which is my study block this year.

We got a new student… which, in a small town like Salem, is kind of a cause for chatter, and I wasn’t really paying attention until the guy sat next to me. When I finally looked at him…

Son of a bitch… it’s Vasquez. It all came back to me—Sam Chisolm, Rose Creek, Bart Bogue…

I’m… sort of embarrassed to say that I had a total breakdown right then and there. Mom actually had to come and pick me up early, it was so bad. It’s super late (early?), right now, almost three in the morning, and I’ve been catatonic all afternoon, according to her. So, I guess all these events really happened yesterday?

I’m getting distracted… I told her what had happened, what’s been happening, and she… didn’t seem totally surprised. Fact is, she’s the one who gave me the idea that my reincarnation ties in with my powers. Something about death being involved, which… makes sense, in a weird way.

Mom offered to keep me out of school for the rest of the week, so I can recover, but… I don’t want to do that. Maybe a day or two, but not a week. I want to talk to Vas so I can Vasquez, so I can sort of explain things to him. Hopefully, it’ll go well…

10-13-12 Update: It… I didn’t explain the powers thing to him. I didn’t want to freak him out, but I did tell him why I had my breakdown on Monday. He understood, because when his memories came back to him, he was a wreck for a while too.

He came over for the afternoon, and mom and Aunt Elenore absolutely fell in love with him. Bastard put on the damn charm. We didn’t get any schoolwork done, not like we really planned to, but we did catch up on things. What’s been going on in our modern lives, and he told me a little about what happened after I died in Rose Creek… His family travels a lot in this life, for his dad’s work. He’s got two siblings, an older sister and younger brother. I couldn’t resist and had to make a crack about his ‘three Maria’s’… he asked where mine was.

… I told him Maria died when we were kids. He sobered up pretty quick… guess he could tell it was a sore subject.

Anyways… my magic practice is progressing well. Right now, I can just see spirits, which is weird because they look like just regular people—for the most part. I’ve seen a few grisly sights, but I’m learning how to pick their energies apart from the living, so I don’t make a fool of myself in public.

Oddly enough, Vasquez has a couple ghosts hanging around him…

Sam flipped through the journal, heart twisting in his chest as he noticed a few entries more prominent than others. One, over Christmas break, detailing why Vasquez had ghosts—his father was a hunter of the supernatural, and the revelation apparently caused a rift between the two boys before Vasquez’s father himself had put things to right. He’d put the hunting behind him and was trying to settle down with his family… he could have never expected his son to befriend a witch—which, that had led to Joshua admitting about himself…

Prom. They stopped dancing around their feelings for each other and became official, and that entry made Sam smile, as well as the photos of that night that accompanied the entry. They did make a handsome couple. That was where Vasquez’s writing started slipping in on a few pages, offering extra insight or his own commentary to whatever Joshua was writing.

Graduation. Maybe too quick to those who don’t know about… us, but Vasquez gave me a bloody promise ring tonight. (you’re not actually complaining, are you? Fuck you, I’m keeping it forever thought so) and detailing a rough plan of the future. Plans to stay in Salem long enough to get through college, before moving. Maybe they’d find where Rose Creek was, if it was somewhere they could move to, settle down there. Ideas about where the rest of their motley crew were…

College. Joshua went into Anthropology and the Occult (seriously, guero? Bite me, texican), and Vasquez Art and Architecture (you know there’s a joke about cliches in there somewhere, right? Don’t you dare). Joshua seemed to develop a minor side hobby (?) in helping people with their dead loved ones, the spirits who hadn’t crossed over because of unfinished business (Jennifer Love Hewitt, who?) When they’d both finished their studies… Joshua was the one who proposed.

There were photos of various moments, in those early years. High school included prom, graduation, senior trip, homecoming week. After high school showed moving into their first apartment together, as they worked through college, domestic moments, moments with their families, college graduation, of the proposal, and later, multiple photos from the wedding. Tickets to various date locations, movies, and festivals, were taped in as well. It seemed Joshua (and by some small extension, Vasquez) was eager to keep track of everything.

But just after their return from their honeymoon in August of twenty-fifteen, the entries stopped. The next one wasn’t dated until January of twenty-sixteen. Reading it, Sam felt his heart stop and blood run cold.

1-13-16 I’m sorry, Ale… I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t… couldn’t save you. If I was faster… maybe you’d still be here. Maybe I could have… God, I’m crazy for thinking it… brought you back. If you’d wanted it… if maybe I’d seen you… your spirit, at least, maybe one more time, to ask…

There are limitations to my abilities… I can bring people back from the dead, but only within a set time… I didn’t make it with you… And I’m so sorry.

You must have crossed over. That’s the only reason I can think of to not see your ghost… it’d be just like you, too… you wouldn’t have wanted me to see you like that. I know you wouldn’t have. I know, but… goddammit it still hurts, you son of a bitch. If I could have just said goodbye…

… you were gone too soon. And those bastards… they’ll pay. Eventually, they’ll pay.

I’m sorry.

I… did find where Rose Creek is. It’s still a small town but thriving in today’s age. I’ll… I’ll go there. For us… for you.

Maybe I’ll find some sort of peace there.

Silence, for a few months, before another entry was made.

5-23-16 God, what have I done? I didn’t… I wasn’t… I didn’t mean for that to happen… I didn’t know I could do that.

I need to get away. From everyone. Anyone that I can hurt…

I’m so sorry Vas…

After that, there were no more entries. Sam flipped through the remaining blank pages and found nothing. Frowning, Sam went back to the last entry, and wondered what the hell might have happened for it to exist.

Actually, he wondered what happened in those last two entries in general—one was obvious. The other… not so much. He’d have to ask Matthew to investigate the dates mentioned, give or take a day or two. Surely, there’d be some sort of record online, somewhere—

“How the fuck did you get in here?”

Sam startled, the book falling from his hands and back on to the bed. He whirled around, coming eye to eye with Joshua Faraday. The first thing the older man noticed was how tired the redhead looked, with bags beneath his eyes, and skin pale. He stood as though the weight of the world was laid on his shoulders, but it didn’t distract from the, frankly, intimidating glare he was fixing Sam with.

“I know I locked the door when I left,” Joshua continued, and then his gaze flicked down to the journal on the bed, and his anger grew. He stood straight, and Sam swore the room grew colder and darker as Joshua set a bag of possible groceries on the floor, “You went looking through my personal things?!”

“Now, hold on just a minute, son—” Sam began.

“I’m not your son,” Joshua hissed, and there was no doubt about it—Joshua was altering the space around them. His eyes were beginning to glow, a toxic green that caused the hairs on the back of Sam’s neck to rise, “What are you doing here, Chisolm?”

“I came to offer you a job,” Sam said, quickly, and Joshua drew up short. A brief look of bafflement crossed his features as he stared at the older man, “That is, if you want it.”

The redhead crossed his arms, eyes narrowing.

“Explain,” he said, shortly, so Sam did.

He explained how he’d been tasked with bringing a crew together (yes, the rest of the Rose Creek bunch, for the most part…) and that while Joshua’s name hadn’t come up directly, Sam’s own bosses had suggested Joshua could be an integral part of the team. This team would be dealing with threats across the world, both natural and supernatural. Clearly, Joshua would be a good addition, if he wanted to join.

“But… I’m not pressing you to,” Sam said, quietly. He glanced down at the journal, then back to Joshua, “You’ve clearly been through a lot already.”

Joshua’s expression darkened, lips thinning, but he said nothing. Just stared at Sam with those eyes of his still glowing. But he was silent, and Sam took it for a good thing.

“… would you have come for me, if I hadn’t been brought up?” Joshua asked.

Sam blinked at the question, but answered nonetheless: “Eventually, yes. It wouldn’t have been fair not to include you and—” he faltered, only because Joshua pinned him with a venomous glare, “We want everyone we can get. We worked so well together, before.”

Silence, again, and Sam could tell Joshua was right on the edge of accepting the offer, he just needed one last push.

“Who killed him?” Sam asked, pitching his own voice low—after all, someone had mess with those he cared about. He was angry thinking about it; Joshua startled, so Sam asked again, “Who did it? We can go after the sons of bitches with you.”

Joshua’s jaw clenched.

“Hunters,” he ground out. “Ones who didn’t approve of his relationship with… with me. I don’t… I don’t have exact names, though.”

“Then come with me,” Sam offered, holding out his hand. “Together, we’ll help you figure out who did it, and we’ll see them get what they deserve.”

Joshua looked down at Sam’s extended hand, before he looked up at the man himself. The temperature returned to normal, and the shadows fell away. The glow in the witch’s eyes faded, but they still burned with anger and determination…

Joshua took Sam’s hand.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Chisolm.”

#the magnificent seven #mag7 #joshua faraday #sam chisolm #vasquez #varaday #mag 7 au #magnificent seven 2016

[chaosintheavenue]

Unprompted answering of random asks from my own ask memes for Kayli:

🌱 What’s their basic information? Name, gender, age, that sort of thing

Full name: Kayli Meyer (surname was originally Radley until she was around 7-ish years old)

Gender: Cis woman

Orientation: Asexual, vaguely sapphic but also definitely not alloromantic (AKA, the exact answer I would have given for myself about a year ago)

Date of birth: 19th February 2275 (so, five months older than Trin at any given time)

Place of residence: Born and raised in California- more specifically in Lost Hills. She had never left California before travelling to West Virginia with Trin and living there for two years (2297 to late '99) and some spare change. Has just left WV and headed back west at the current point in the day-to-day OC timeline in my head

🌎 Do they have a favourite region of the world map (e.g. the Forest, the Ash Heap…)? A least favourite region?

She enjoyed seeing the variety of different environments in Appalachia more than anything else, but she does have a soft spot for the atmosphere (not literally!) of the Ash Heap that Trin doesn't share

As for least favourites, she didn't particularly enjoy embarking out further towards the east side of the map (Mire/Cranberry Bog region), but that's more due to the tougher enemies in that region and potential for Trin to start scorchily losing her shit than the actual geography

📷 How often do they take photos (or alternatively, how often do you use photomode haha)? Any favourite/funny photos of them you’d like to share?

She will sometimes take environmental shots to capture any unusual or striking features in the landscape, but on the whole isn't snap-happy like someone I could mention. Definitely doesn't love being in shot herself (so, not a fan of selfies).

🎻 Do they play musical instruments? How skilled are they at it?

Yesss. I literally added this question to that list specifically for Kayli lol.

She's taken violin lessons since childhood, and kinda knows her way around all string instruments as a result. Also figuring out a little bit of piano, which is more likely self-taught. But the violin will always be her baby.

💰 What is the most expensive thing they own?

The most expensive thing in terms of its overall value that she ever owned, past tense, was probably her first violin. It was in pristine condition with a pearlised blue varnish, which I'd imagine would have been very hard to come by.

It survived its time with her, by the way! She just had to swap for a new refurbished one eventually because it was child-sized.

💬 How many languages do they speak?

She's only fully fluent in English, but knows phrases here and there in plenty of other languages. However, I'm inclined to think that she would count the ability to read and write sheet music as knowing a language, which brings her total per her own judgement to two.

☂️ What’s their favourite type of weather? What type of weather do you associate with them, if any?

She's not a fan of any extremes of weather, but especially not storms or heavy rain. Having grown up a) underground and b) in California, the severe East Coast-style radstorms were an unpleasant novelty to her and she's very wary of them.

🍇 Favourite food? Any dietary restrictions or specific dislikes?

Discovered when she travelled east that she likes fresh seafood- but it absolutely has to be fresh, and that's going to be in much shorter supply where she's now living than it was in Appalachia. Welp. Lakelurk meat, maybe?

Her all-time favourite food is the gulper meat in Rudy's pepperoni rolls!

🤖 Do they believe science or art is more important? How much value do they place on each?

She'd firmly agree with the paraphrased quote 'Science keeps us alive, but art is what we live for'.

#Kayli #oc asks #if you hadn't gathered Kay is the Musical OC™

[larjb3]

Okay so something that is really important that a lot of able-bodied individuals don't realize, is that when you live with any sort of chronic illness, whether it be physical or mental, you often have to do your own research on your symptoms. If you don't, doctors are going to dismiss you. If you're lucky you'll get maybe a CBC panel ran. If you're like me (and from what I see online, many other spoonies), your chronic illness (fibro) will be blamed for your symptoms and you'll be forced to move on. That could be in the form of finding a different doctor (which is SUPER hard to do in the US because of insurance restrictions, and that's assuming you're lucky enough to have insurance) or by accepting their answer and just coping with the new symptoms.

I write this because I have had abnormal blood counts for the past almost 2 years, and abnormal body feelings (clearly swollen and painful knees to the point where I have seriously debated on if I needed a mobility aid like a cane, Baker's cyst, yadda yadda yadda) for roughly 1.5 years.

Anyways, at my last doctor's appointment in...May? June? Something like that, I had to go in to the doctor with my previous abnormal blood counts, dating back to when I was living in a different state, even though they had the records from that state because EHRs are a thing, because they weren't helping me. I had to go in with possible explanations and explain why I was considering them, and why I ruled them out. I had to go in to a doctor who was ADAMANT that all I needed was physical therapy and then I wouldn't be in so much pain. Keep in mind here, that I experienced pain when sitting. I experienced pain when lying down. I experienced pain when standing or walking. I experienced a TREMENDOUS amount of pain going from sitting to standing or standing to sitting. It was to the point where, on the pain scale, I was at maybe a 7 or 8 on a daily basis? And that's going off of my pain scale, which is drastically different from the "average person" pain scale because, surprise, I live with chronic pain. So in general my pain (prior to all of this) is at maybe a 1 or 2 on my pain scale? That translates to maybe a 3 or 4 on the average person pain scale? So now instead of downplaying how much pain I'm in (I mean, I still probably downplay it just because of internal feelings about needing to not be a burden on others and not make my needs so prevalent that it inconveniences anyone else), I have started adapting my answers to what I think an able-bodied individual's pain scale is (never been fully able-bodied, so who even knows how accurate that is).

So back to the point:

Yes, it may have been the fact that I started crying in the doctor's office because I wasn't feeling heard or taken seriously, or it may have been that I did my own research, came in with possible answers (through reputable sites - so not fricken WebMD), and came in with all of my abnormal blood levels since they started almost 2 years ago.

BUT, with all of that said, that was the only way I was able to get any sort of medical intervention. Sure, I could've upped my meds more, but that's not looking at WHY I'm in so much (non-fibro) pain. That's not explaining WHY my joints are swollen to the point where it hurts to walk. That was the only way I was able to get an order for a CT of one of my knees and new bloodwork ran. And - surprise, surprise - they found things. They found a possible reason for why one of my knees was acting up (still had the problem of the other knee, but whatever. One knee taken care of is helpful). They found inflammation in my blood (and if you tell me fibro is a fricken inflammatory disorder I will probably rage quit your comment, because that's what a hematologist decided to say, clearly knowing nothing about the disorder and instead telling me that "fibro" meant "inflammation". No, "fibro-" means "relating to or characterized by fibers" and "-myalgia" means "pain in a muscle, or group of muscles". So don't come at me with that).

Anyways, what I'm really trying to say, is that if you or someone you know is not fully able-bodied, we often have to do our own research. Why? Because 1) medical doctors often don't take us seriously, 2) we know our bodies better than anyone else regardless of degree status, 3) medical providers seem to not like actually looking deeply at a case and let's face it, if you just went through however many years of medical school and had to conceptualize endless cases, you wouldn't want to do in-depth analyses of cases either, and 4) how else are we going to know what questions to ask if we haven't looked up possible reasons for our symptoms or bloodwork or whatever it may be?

Believe your non-able-bodied friends. Believe your spoonie people. We know how to research conditions and rarely stop at just one website (just because conditions are usually more complex than just a common cold or something). We are doing the best we can in a broken system where no one wants to believe us.

And for those spoonies/disabled folx, if your doctor refuses to run blood tests or imaging or whatever it may be, make a FIRM request (more like a demand) that they write IN YOUR CHART that they declined to do whatever it is you are asking them to do, so that there's documentation and they can be held accountable. I have yet to do this, but from what I've seen from other people, medical professionals don't like writing that they denied something, so they tend to then send in the order.

#larjb3 #spoonie #spoonies #fibro #fibromyalgia #mystery diagnosis #mystery diagnoses #chronic illness #unknown illness #medical problems #abnormal blood work