#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jjfics · 4 years

Text

Rosemary and Thyme - On The Run | 02

ship: Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader

summary: The Reader has killed someone and now the Hargreeves and her have to hide. So they look for shelter in the only place they know would welcome them: The Reader’s former employer.

series: read part 1 here

author: jane jack aka your girl jjfics

words: 3250

warnings: mentions of death, murder, blood and homelesness, feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, flashbacks, angst, guns, allusion to smut (does not happen though, i’ve cut it right before), smoking

a/n: i definitely did not expect it to be seen. i know 100 notes is not a lot, but i think i did pretty well for my second imagine out there, huh. thanks guys, for reading. i hope this one is just as great (or who knows, maybe better?). let me know if anyone would like a part 3. -jj

tags: @nimusicaltrash :3

Vanya and Allison were asleep in the backseat. Klaus, cramped between them, waved around a magazine he picked up from the last gas station you stopped at. Luther and Diego were discussing plans in the back, on the second row of seats.

Five took the passenger seat, he was very tired from all the driving. He refused to make any stops at all until it was absolutely necessary. The dark circles around his eyes begged him to sleep, but he couldn’t. All he could feel was stress and desperation. I have to get my family to safety, he would think.

Your now clean hands were clenched around the wheel of the car. The city was getting closer every moment and you unconsciously pressed harder on the gas pedal.

“Hey, hey! Careful there, I can’t read well when you go that fast” Klaus whined and you sighed. Right.

You saw Five look at his watch as he started bumping his right foot anxiously. Just a couple of metres away stood the “Welcome to Dallas” board.

“On time?” you ask, trying not to panic.

“Exactly on time” he reassures you with a nod. “Are you ready?” Ready? You were terrified.

“You’ll be okay. I’ll come inside with you, just in case.”

“What do you think old John can do to harm me?”

John was your boss in the 60s. Your salvation. He was mesmerized by your voice that day at the bakery, and he kept asking people around until he found you. It was your second night sleeping under the open sky, and little did you know it was all going to change. He made you a star. One makeover later and a lot of clothing stores you basically swapped lives with Allison. He let you live in the apartment above the club.

And he was probably also six feet under right now.

“Oh I wouldn’t be worried about him.” Five replies sarcastically. “Maybe he has a son. Whoever is in charge of the place, might be an issue for us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just… What if he won’t cooperate? What if he won’t understand, or worse, give us to the police…” after he said that, he looked zoned out for a moment, as if he was going through all the possible ways your plan could fail.

If the police found you, you would be going straight to jail. There was no doubt that the Hargreeves could pay for your bail. So no worries with the police, really. But you were never going to be a free woman. The Commission would search for you, and if you killed one of them again, they would send new men after you until they made sure you were gone for good. As gone as the one you saw bleed to death.

You put your hand on his knee as you turned left onto the main street. If the club was still standing it should be just around the corner.

His attention switched back to you and he scoffed quietly. “Look at us. Just a couple of hours ago you were the one having a panic attack and now it’s my turn.”

A small smile appeared on your face. “We’re a team, remember?” And he mirrored the expression just before you parked the car.

“Alright everybody, listen up!” he shouts so that everyone would turn and look at him. The sisters woke up too. They were all on the same train now. “Me and y/n are going to walk inside this club and arrange something so we’ll sleep safely for tonight. Vanya is going to wait in the car, ready to drive away and help us escape. Diego and Luther will wait outside. Got it?” Diego raised an eyebrow but Five continued “Just in case anything happens. You never know.”

“I’ll wait with them, I need to breathe some fresh air” Allison said as she stretched her arms as far as she could in the small van.

“Alright then” Five said, looking at the main entrance of the club through the passenger window. “Let’s get to this y/n” he gave you a small smile.

You searched for his hand and squeezed it gently.

The doors of the car closed behind you two as you got out of the car. Diego, Luther and Allison were pretending they were just locals talking about what not, getting closer to the big glass doors. When they stopped walking Diego turned a bit to the left and started laughing. This was it, your sign to go.

“Hey, be safe, okay? Leave as soon as anything gets out of hand. We can find some other place to stay at.” Vanya told you when you were ready to get out of the car. Your best friend was worried about you, of course. She is always a bit anxious. But you had no other choice.

On the way here you were mentioned 8 times on the radio. You and the Hargreeves. Wanted criminals. This was your only chance to find shelter. If this didn’t work, you couldn’t really find some other place. You would pretty much have to sleep in the car or on the streets. No, impossible, you couldn’t go through that again.

“We’ll be fine Vivi.” She chuckles sadly at the nickname you gave her in the early stages of your friendship.

“Klaus, hand me that magazine! It’s my turn” Vanya said while tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

“Ah, fine.” he whined. “Turn on the radio.”

Hand in hand with Five you made your way to the front hall of the club, heading towards the bar, which was on a platform just above the empty dance floor. You took your sunglasses off as you sat on one of those black stools at the bar. Same leather like 50 years ago. It felt surreal to be here again, with Five sitting next to you.

“What are you doing so early? And with a kid? There ain’t no party yet ms.” you couldn’t help but smile as you recognized the southern drawl. You pushed your foot on the floor and rotated the chair. There she was, with her hair pinned up the same way as always, wearing short heels that matched her dark lipstick. It had been so long since you had seen her.

Amy Stephens, your boss John’s little sister. She should be 74 by now, and even though she was just 17 when you started working at the club, you still knew who she was. Amy was the only friend you had during those months when you were alone. You showed her how to do her make up, you went shopping together when you needed new stage outfits, you taught her how to fight, something John would’ve scolded you for if he found out.

“Hello.” you said looking kindly at your old friend. “I’m not here for any party. I’m just looking for someone.”

“Oh well, let’s see if I can be of any help to ya. What you got?”

“Do you happen to know a Stephens?” Five asked her.

“Stephens? Yeah, yeah, that’s me kid. With what business are you coming here?” she questioned resting her arm on her hip.

“Are you in charge of the place?” you said putting your glasses in the pocket of your jacket.

“Sure am. Can I help you?”

“Yeah… we… uh… a friend told us you used to give the apartment for rent? Is that… still available?” You didn’t quite know how to carry the conversation without blowing your cover.

“Ah, yes. It’s been a long time since anyone slept in there. You knew the famous y/n Hargreeves used to live here?” Five suppressed a smile, winking at you, but the woman didn’t notice. “Do you kids even know her? You look young. Anyways, popular singer back in 62. Or was it 63?” she muttered.

“Big fans” Five told her.

Your name wasn’t Hargreeves, of course, but you had no certificate when your boss found you. So you did everything you could to associate yourself with Five and his siblings in hope you might find them.

“Would you be interested in staying here?”

“Yes, that’d be really nice” Five said eagerly.

“Follow me, I’ll show you around.”

The door to your old apartment opened and little dust particles could be seen floating in the morning light. Amy pushed the wooden door with her shoulder and walked inside.

“My God, we haven’t been in here since Ms Hargreeves moved out. Seems like she really was our last tenant” she whispered, but you heard her well. “But don’t worry children, the place is clean. There’s two bedrooms and a bathroom, a small kitchen and a balcony. Come come”. You knew that grin, it meant the apartment has probably been rotting ever since you left.

She led you to the bedroom that wasn’t used when you lived here. “See, two rooms, perfect for you and the kid, huh” She tried to convince you. Five chuckled and put his arm around your waist when she turned around to walk to the main bedroom.

“And this… this is the second one. There’s still a luggage full of her stuff under the bed but I can get rid of that for ya.” she slapped her hand on the mattress and more dust came out of it. “So what you thinkin’? You like it here?”

“Oh that's not a problem girl, bring them in. As long as you don’t make too much noise after 11 pm, we’re all good.”

You shared a look with Five to tell him This is the best we could do. He nodded and you both turned to look at Amy who was now staring uncomfortably at the two of you. Yeah, you would have to hide your relationship around her. He moved his hand casually and then you spoke again. “Yes, this is quite what we were looking for. But it’s not just us. We’ll be 7, including me, my boyfriend and his 5 siblings.”

“Isn’t there noise from the party downstairs anyways at that hour?” Five asked her. The expression on Amy’s face changed as she looked down.

“The party huh… you’re not from here are ya? Well, I was just joking earlier, kid. When y/n Hargreeves left the club, the people got angry. She was the main reason why people still came. Most stopped coming after some time, it simply wasn’t smart to keep the club partying. Now it’s nothing more than a property.”

They… went bankrupt, because you stopped showing up? You knew people loved you, but John never told you you were the one holding up their business. A tear rolled down your cheek. All that fame, all the posters. You had bleached your hair when you returned to 2019 and you wore sunglasses everywhere. No one could know who you were. Some get their 30 seconds of fame, you got your year. One year could mean your whole life sometimes.

You were laying on Elliot’s couch with the phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you were trying to take off your coat. Five reached to help you mouhting I got it. He took your coat to the hanger and then disappeared into the kitchen.

“Hello, this is John Stephens speaking.”

“Hi, John. It’s just me, y/n. I- uh, I’m calling from a friend's house. I think I’m going to spend the night. Just thought it’ll be fine for you to know in advance.”

“y/n, yes. So, what you’re saying is... that you won’t be here in time for tonight’s show?” he said anxiously. You didn’t know this at the time, but he was worried about losing profit.

“No no, I just- I would really want to hang out with my friend and it’ll be just for tonight.”

Gosh, you were reasoning with him as if he were your dad.

“Oh,come on, Hargreeves. Not even one song?”

You laughed at how disparate he was. “Sorry. Not even one. I’ll be gone til morning. But I’m sure no one will miss me that much. Besides, you can always ask Amy to sing. She’s been getting better. For real, John. That girl has potential.”

“There ain’t no well in hell I’m letting my sister get up in front of all these drunks to sing. She’s just 17, woman!”

You couldn’t stop laughing now. “Goodnight, John. I’ll- Well I’ll see you on Monday if we don’t run into each other.”

“Have a nice evening, y/n”

You hung up the phone and rose from the couch. When entering the kitchen you saw Five pouring coffee in two big mugs. You went and hugged him from behind, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. You could feel him smiling as you kissed him again. He took the mugs and turned around to face you leaning on the counter.

“Did you miss me?” he asked innocently, making you giggle.

You leaned in and kissed him. You could still taste the coffee on his lips. He kissed you back and you felt him smirk as you laced your hands behind his neck.

“Did I miss you?” you asked him back rhetorically. And you could see how eager he was to meet your lips again. You gave him a quick peck on the lips, and one on his shoulder, and then you hugged him tightly. “I did. A lot.”

“I know what it’s like to be alone. I promise you, we won’t have to go through that again. I’ll try everything I can do to be together forever.”

“Forever?” you asked.

“Assuming you won’t kick me out, of course.” You smacked his arm.

“Idiot.” you said between laughs. “Give me one of those mugs.”

He hands you your coffee and you take a sip. “Black?”

“We have a lot to talk about,” he said.

You both sat back on the couch and went over anything and everything. How you got famous. Where the others were. How he just arrived. What he saw. How long everyone had been here.

“How long do we have?” you asked, searching for his eyes.

He leaned back on the couch. “A lot more than last time. Enough time to find out what causes it, and more importantly, how to stop it.”

You smiled at his words. After all this time, you were finally reunited, and no one was rushing you now. You had nothing to lose anymore, except time. Your hands unconsciously inched towards his thigh and you traced small hearts on his leg. “That means we can breathe safely for a while, right?”

Five brought you closer to him, straddling him now. He brushed your hair behind your ear so you could see him better. Your fingers explored his face carefully. The bump of his nose, his cheeks, his dimples as he grinned at you. Gosh, how you had missed his dimples. You missed everything about him.

“We have almost one full year,” he said.

“Then we better make the best of it, right?” you said as your lips brushed against his.

He laid his head on the fluffy cushions and you followed, not breaking eye contact. His blue eyes scanned yours and your soul ran wild. You towered over him and pressed your forehead on his. Suddenly, the sound of the cars outside stopped and it all went silent. In this moment, there was only you and him. And this moment would exist forever.

You had to make up for all the time you were apart. You kissed him passionately, closing your eyes. His hands flowed along your curves and rested on your hips, pressing you hard on his chest. The kiss tasted like his favourite kind of coffee. Every movement of yours was matched instantly by him. He didn’t need words to know. Neither did you.

Five pulled away for a second, looking at you lovingly, desire clear in his eyes. He took your left hand in his and shifted you so that you were laid on your back. He sat on his elbows just above your head. Your hands hugged his shoulders, getting him to slowly bend down. You could feel your eyes fill with tears as you watched him watch you. A flash of worry appeared on his face, but just for a moment.

Five wiped your cheeks with the back of his palm, and kissed your cheeks. You kissed his hand and he kissed yours back, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive skin. His kisses started to travel upwards, to your elbow, then shoulder, then neck, then down again. You closed your eyes as his kisses passed your collarbone. He tugged softly on your shirt.

“May I?” he hummed with a boyish smirk you hadn’t seen in a long while. You nodded, brushing his hair back.

“Yes, please.” you flushed.

He started unbuttoning your shirt, enjoying every second of it. With every button, he would press one more kiss. With every breath, you would inhale his sweet scent, praying to never forget it.

The morning was cold. Diego and Lila were asleep in the bedroom, Elliot on an armchair. Oh, the poor man couldn't even sleep in his own bed. Five was on the couch, next you. You pushed the blanket closer to him and got up after pecking his forehead.

“Goodmorning, y/n.” he whispered, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“Morning, Five.”

“Where are you going?” he whined.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be right back”

You searched for your shirt and pants only to find them underneath your pillow. Getting dressed up in a hurry, you covered your shoulders with what seemed to be another blanket… or a really long scarf. Either way, it was warm enough. You reached for a cigarette in your pocket and made your way outside.

You sat on the cold stairs that led up to the entrance of the building and watched the people pass the alley.

“Look at them, rushing to get to their shitty jobs in time, to get their kids to school, rushing, rushing, rushing.” you scoffed under your breath.

“Good thing we don’t have to rush anywhere, right?” a voice startled you. You turned your head to the door to see Five already dressed nicely with a mug of, probably, coffee again. How convenient it could be for him sometimes to jump through space. Always a step ahead of you.

“That's not healthy.” he pointed at your cigarette.

“That’s not either” you said gesturing to his drink and he chuckled, amused.

“Yeah, well, at least I won’t get sick” he sat down, resting his head on your shoulder.

“We can’t have that happen. Even a cold can be deadly for an old man like you.” You bumped your cigarette on the side of his mug smiling. “Cheers”

Making your way back to the car you saw everyone was outside.

“Vanya why are you not in the car?” Five asked immediately.

“It just took too long and I was worried.”

“Is it so hard to just stick to the rules? Is it? All you had to do was sit there.” he sighed.

Everyone looked worried, so you smiled softly. “We got the key guys, it’s all good. Let’s go upstairs, I’m tired.”

“Thank, God.” Allison said so relaxed, unaware of the gun pointing at her from behind a tree nearby. She walked to the club’s doors. “Let’s go.”

#number five #five x reader #five imagine #five hargreeves #five #five hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #number 5 x reader #number 5 #The Umbrella Academy #the umbrella academy imagine #tua imagine #number five imagine

102 notes · View notes

masterofmagnetism · 4 years

Text

Promises

Who: Erik and Charles @burdenedxtelepath

Mentioned: Raven @mysteriousmutant, Jean @jeanelcinegrey, Scott @firstxman, Lorna @mistressxfmagnetism

Where: Charles' office at the Institute

When: 3 weeks after the Raft.

What: Erik finds himself in Charles' office, as he has several times in the last few weeks, attempting to quiet his mind with a bit of silent companionship from his oldest friend. Instead, he ends up accidentally revealing far more than he means to, leading Charles to question his mental state.

TWs: child death referenced, PTSD, hella survivor's guilt

AN: This was a very informal, spontaneous thing in our DMs that was supposed to be fluffy and got surprise angsty, so forgive any formatting errors, etc. Not the most polished thing, but gives some important context about where the boys are at headspace-wise, these days.

CHARLES: He's well aware that Erik is probably up to something. Either that, or this was yet another bout of him acting strange, which seemed to be a thing as of late. However, without access to his thoughts, Charles couldn't draw any definitive conclusions other than maybe Erik was acting on his supposed feelings. It seemed like a stretch but who knows? Even so, Charles scoots over a bit, making room on the sofa. Crossword puzzles were a means to keep the mind sharp and with those he struggled with initially, Erik was more than helpful. "Since when do you like crossword puzzles?" he finds himself asking. And it doesn't go without notice that a certain someone is affectionately leaning on him. At one time, it would have been nothing for him to turn his head slightly and press lips to the top of his head but you know, old habits. Not like he could anyway.

ERIK: Being around Charles was calming, and Erik found himself gravitating back to the Institute more and more often, these days--if only to sit in the man's office and chat with him about nothing, or even just sit in silence while the man worked. Tonight, Charles caved quickly to the request, letting Erik up on the sofa next to him, and within a few minutes, Erik had found himself leaning on the man's shoulder without even recognizing that he'd started, quietly helping with the crossword puzzle.

Charles' question was answered with a soft hum. "I used to do them to help me learn English. Haven't needed to do them for a long time, nor have I had the time, but I enjoyed them," he explains, closing his eyes but continuing to work on the puzzle from memory in his head. "Seventeen down is 'abnegation.'"

CHARLES: He had never minded Erik's presence. Aside from Raven, he was another who often provided the best company, even if he was silent. But sometimes there was little need for words. The aura of simply having another nearby was often good enough to temper one's mood. As was the case with Erik... some of the time.

He quietly scribbles down another word ( a six letter word meaning cold --- chilly ) then moves on. "That's quite the brilliant way to polish one's English and one's vocabulary in general. Crosswords have never been the easiest." He stares down at the final word, frowning. Eventually he fills in the clue with Erik's answer thus completing the puzzle. "Ah, you were right. Two heads are better than one sometimes."

ERIK: Erik cracked open his eyes to peer with satisfaction at the completed puzzle, before letting them drift closed again. "We make a good team," he said quietly. They'd had disagreements often, but usually arguing their case with the other had made both of them stronger rather than weaker. And they'd been able to coordinate on the most important things.... At least before Cuba.

"I liked Sudoku puzzles, too. You know I've always been a numbers person." Though he was damn good with language, too--multiple languages were in his mental toolkit, from years of traveling. Even before he'd gone to Vinnitsa, he'd known German, Polish, Yiddish, and Hebrew. His language skills had only grown in years since.

CHARLES: "We're capable." He leaves it at that as he sets the newspaper aside. The Bugle, per usual, was full of nonsense save for Kara's pieces but at the least the crosswords were still decent. "I haven't done one of those in a long time, but I imagine you'd be a hair better at those than myself. When time permits, I've mostly been doing word searches. Hard to find time to do anything a bit more challenging. Still, they help me relax. I've been needing it lately. Something's...off about me. Can't quite place it either."

ERIK: Erik very nearly snorted. If that wasn't relatable, he didn't know what was--except he, unfortunately, knew exactly what was 'off.' "You seem stressed," he agrees, "But that's to be expected, after the Park." Weren't they all stressed in the aftermath of that? "Don't worry about the safety of the Institute, Charles. The students who leave may need certain things, but anyone here is safe, I promise you that." His new field around the school helped, but it was common knowledge at this point that the school was under the protection of almost all of the known Omega level mutants, and Erik had done his best to make clear it wasn't worth the fight when they couldn't even manage one or two Omegas on their own.

"I haven't had time to do puzzles in... months. And I think I've gotten perhaps sixty hours of sleep in the last three weeks," he admitted.

CHARLES: Perhaps it was only the stress giving Charles these anxious feelings. It was as if he was in a constant state of black cloud, fearing something awful was going to happen. And Erik was right. Charles had no idea what kind of force field surrounded the school now, but he knew deep down nothing could happen to him while within these walls. He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen. "You're right. Perhaps it is the stress that has me feeling anxious. After the Park, it's hard not to be overly, obsessively cautious. I think we all are."

60 hours of sleep in three weeks. . . That wasn't enough at all, but Charles knew he couldn't say much on the matter. He slept okay when he took his meds, but resting was another story entirely. He hasn't felt rejuvenated after a night's sleep in quite a while but he hid it well enough. An early morning swim here or there. LOTS of coffee and tea. He managed. They both did. They had no choice when so many people looked to them for guidance. "I don't think it gets any easier from here. I think... it's always going to be like this --- hard."

ERIK: The telepath's words sent a pang through Erik's chest, and a response was slipping off his tongue before he could think better of it, one hand reaching for Charles' and stopping somewhere between them, instead. "No. No, it won't. We deserve peace, Charles. We will have it. One way or another." Charles' way, which looked more impossible than ever, or the way that was slowly taking shape on the walls of Erik's apartment, the war would end.

It had to end.

His next words, in contrast to the earnest and confident ones of just moments before, seem almost desperate. "I'm so tired, Charles," he breathed out against the man's shoulder.

CHARLES: This. This was the kind of scene no one was allowed to see. Because if they saw Charles doubting himself... If they saw Erik as someone other than hardened symbol driven by hate, the facade would end. The glamour --- the enamoration with them both --- would cease to exist. And Charles could not let that happen. Eyes close briefly and with some difficulty, he manages to use his telekinesis to get the bolt turned, locking them inside. While he didn't need people walking in seeing them on the couch, doing crossword puzzles was harmless. This? Not so much.

"Just because we deserve something, doesn't mean we will actually get it. I've hoped for peace my entire life but with each passing day... I just... don't know anymore. I cannot abandon my principles, but I am not a fool either, Erik. I see the same things you see sometimes. My dream... seems much farther away now than it's ever been."

There's a moment's hesitation before he shifts on the couch, arm folding around Erik, pulling him close. Another piece of the puzzle falls in place, giving Charles a better idea of Erik's head state. "I know," he answered quietly. "We all are. This... being you... I'm certain it has to be overwhelming at times. The entire mutant world looks to you to be their strength and their guide. That's a large rock upon your shoulders, but you mustn't let it wear you down."

ERIK: Erik let himself be pulled closer, finally let a hand come up and rest at Charles' other shoulder, fingers toying with the collar of his shirt absently as he tried to rein back in the surge of emotion.

"It's not just... not that." And it's not the Phoenix, either. This exhaustion has been settling in his bones for decades, heavier with each passing year, and now its source is stronger than ever. "All I wanted was safety, Charles. I wanted the kids to be safe from those who would see them lying dead in a park for existing. I wanted my children to dread university applications, not the same things I feared. That was all. And they keep taking them from me," his voice cracked, "And call me radical for not stepping aside and letting it happen."

His hand tightened on Charles' shirt, and his next words sound fervent. "Never again. They will not take another one of the kids, Charles, they won't. They won't take any of you again. I'll make sure of it. I can't--."

CHARLES: Charles knew something was up with Erik the moment he landed in the school yard weeks back. He had fed him some line about wanting to see him, but Charles knew better. There was more to it than that and while he expected Erik to eventually give him bits and pieces, he never imagined the other male had so much bottled inside --- at least in such a manner that it would unfold in his lap like this. Charles bit his lip, fighting to keep his own feelings together. Both of them couldn't be near sobbing over the sorry state of this universe. Otherwise, where was the comfort in that?

So no, he would hold it together, never minding the fingers toying at his collar. Erik's words had so many layers to them, but what stung the most was the bit about the uni applications. 'His' children were not just Jean and Lorna and anyone else he'd taken up under his wing. It was the child that was taken away too. She never got a chance to grow up like the others and Charles knew from his own experiences within Erik's head, that Anya would always be in there somewhere. "I know," he whispered. "A man doesn't do the things that you do if their heart wasn't in it for the right reasons. We both do what we do for these children, and the sake of them having a better future. It's just... We're still ONLY human Erik. Mutants we may be but our bodies eventually wear and tear like any other human's. We can't..." His own voice cracks but he swallows it and pushes forward. "We can't be expected to save them all. God only knows we want to, and it tears us apart when we lose someone but... we're tearing ourselves apart in the process. What good are --- what good are YOU --- if you don't... you need time to yourself, Erik. And you don't... you don't need to place so much of our future on your shoulders. It's not your fault... it's not... you can only do so much so please... don't..." He touches his cheek. "We're fine. We'll be alright."

ERIK: Erik is still leaning against his chest, but the metallokinetic seems miles away, now, even with the light brush of Charles' hand against his cheek, which just a few weeks ago would have had the man's undivided attention. "No. No, I should have been there, at the Park, I could've been there. I could've helped the Underground before Lorna had to bring down a building, before she had to wade into a war she didn't want. We're better, I'm better. I should be able to save them. I can, what good am I if I can't--"

Eventually, the steady brush of Charles' thumb against his cheek, the increasing heartbeat he can feel is what draws him slowly back. He's making Charles upset. He doesn't want to do that. He let out a slow breath against the man's chest, let the vice grip on the man's shirt loosen, smoothed his collar back down. "...Apologies. It's... I'm fine."

It's as much of a lie as Charles' own assurance, but he can do little else, coupled with a rare apology that's likewise inadequate.

CHARLES: "No," Charles says firmly, despite his own wavering voice at times. "None of us could have predicted that the park would turn into such a fiasco. Had any of us known, we'd have counted our loses or sent more people. But that one is not on us, as much as we'd like to blame ourselves. Even Jean will tell you... Something about that night was off. We've always been so careful, but I know the truth will come out in time. Someone betrayed us Erik. Or set us up. And when we find out who it was, god help them."

His fingers lightly trace along Erik's chin and the parks of his cheek he can feel but eventually Erik loosens his grip, breathing slowly. Charles wasn't convinced he was okay, but he also doesn't want to sound pushy either. So he doesn't question it. Instead, he keeps gently touching, content to let the silence wash over them for the time being.

It's not your fault... he thinks to himself, but he knows it may be a while before Erik sees it that way. Such is the burden of a leader.

ERIK: Erik hummed his acknowledgement of the words about the Park, but it was clear he didn't buy it. No matter the cause, no matter what had happened, he should have been there.

But instead of arguing the point, he simply remained silent, letting Charles' touch and warmth start shepherding the uncharacteristic outburst of emotion back into the back of his mind. And he was tired, in so many ways, so eventually he started to doze off, body and mind pushed to exhaustion.

CHARLES: This was beginning to get worrisome, and not at all because he was tired of having moments with Erik. That couldn't be farther from his mind if he willed it. No, this was about how Erik was making a habit of retreating to the telepath's office --- as if to hide from the world or shield himself from it. It troubled Charles to no end, especially since Erik had never been the type to hide out. Nothing thrilled him more than being out in the open, taunting their opponents with his antics. But lately he seemed aloof, even when gazing at him with those doe eyes of his. He seemed more guarded, but at the same time a switch would flip and his feelings would fall all over the place. It practically gave the telepath whiplash. And then... to cap matters, he would fall asleep; doze off just mere moments after a conversation. It only confirmed Erik's confession that he wasn't sleeping well, but Charles wasn't buying that it was only the Park incident keeping him awake at night. Something else was up, but he guessed he should leave it be. After all, at least Erik knew that despite all that's happened, he could still come home and find refuge from all the day's bothersome drama.

Charles eased himself off the couch, his legs letting him know he hadn't much time left to walk. But he was quick, placing a blanket over Erik and tucking him in while he slept. Charles promptly made his way to his chair, deciding he'd better get in it before he has an accident. He watches Erik for several minutes, his heart feeling rather heavy. Only when his phone beeps would he snap out of it. It was time to finish his lesson plans and then later, to bed himself...

#c: charles xavier #d: promises #f: discord #tw: death mention #tw: child death #tw: ptsd #tw: survivors guilt

3 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

778

Do you have unlimited texting? This is normally the case but because of the quarantine and school closing down, I’ve had no reason to keep texting people. But yeah, I used to get unlimited texting at the start of the week.

What are you listening to right now? I can hear my dad chopping in the background as he’s making dinner, and the dining room TV playing on my right.

Whose bed did you sleep on last night? My own. The first good sleep I’ve had in weeks, and I actually pulled out my blanket.

Have you ever slept a whole day away? I have but it’s very seldom. I hate wasting away a whole day, no matter how tired I was the day before.

Will you keep your last name when you get married? I’ll hyphenate so that I keep my middle initial and last name, and I’ll be able to get my new last name as well.

Do you think you’ll have the same best friend a year from now? Idk man, crucial times ahead what with growing up and the possibility of taking grand opportunities and stuff. For the first time ever I’m not so sure I’ll still keep the same friends I have now.

Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced? I’ve thought about it as a rebellious, angsty teen lol but I was never hell-bent on getting one. I remember leaning more towards a lip ring or nose stud.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes cigarettes? It used to until I realized that I didn’t want to be that girlfriend that prohibits my SO from doing stuff, so eventually I had to let it go. Now the only time it would matter to me is if I notice they smoke one too many cigarettes.

Is there someone you wish you were still close with? Kinda, but I’m not super sad or resentful about it. I miss Chelsea and Kaira, but I’m okay with our only interactions being liking and sharing each other’s posts these days. I’m not desperate to be as close as we were, and all I want is for them to be happy where they are now.

If you could go back in time and change things, would you? This question is very broad lmao and yes, there’s always a thing or two everyone wants to change. I wish I made friends earlier in college so that I didn’t have an awful first year, for one.

Do you want to get married? I do.

How many times have you really truly been in love? Just once.

Do you think you’ve ruined your chances with someone? No. As much as possible I don’t like losing in every sense of the word hahaha, so I made sure I didn’t waste my chances with Gab while they were already in front of me. Whether it turned out for the good or bad, my mindset about it is that at least I got to say “I gave it a shot.”

Do you know what it’s like to be truly happy? Not consistently. I have days where my happiness is through the roof, but they are brief and quick. I still have to work my way around life a bit to figure out how to be happy for a longer time.

Are you able to grab your cell phone without moving from where you are? Yes. I don’t even have to stretch my hand much.

Have you ever stayed up at night waiting for someone to call/text you back? Maybe in high school. I like my sleep time these days lol

Is there something you’re looking forward to? They’ve already loosened lockdown rules in my province and anyone aged 21-60 can go out now provided it’s for an essential errand. Now I’m just waiting for something urgent to come up and I’m back on the road aaaahhhhh.

Is there someone you’re attracted to? Yes, very.

Was yesterday/last night enjoyable for you? It was different and quite enjoyable, yes. The weather was a lot colder last night because a typhoon that briefly passed by, which meant it’s the first time we got cold air since like February. I felt more relaxed than usual and I even watched a couple of episodes of Descendants of the Sun hehehehe

Want someone or something you can’t have? I want things to be back the way they were, but that is obviously not happening for a while.

Something that happened today that made you angry? Mmm I guess the time I was venting to Gab about a problem of mine this afternoon and she chimed in with input that I thought wasn’t 100% sensitive and worsened my anxieties. I know it hadn’t been ill-intentioned, but I was still thrown off by it and I called her out.

Is there someone who you’d never thought you’d be friends with, but are now? Andrew. I spent a lot of time avoiding them from 2017-2018 because I found them too extroverted/invasive, but they were very persistent so one day I just gave up and let them into my circle lmao. No regrets though, they’re an amazing amazing friend.

Is there someone you thought you would never lose, but are gone now? Oh yeah. My high school friends and my old best friend, Sofie. I also thought Katreen was for keeps, but she gradually distanced herself from me through college. I don’t resent her for it though, she looks happier now than she ever was in high school and I’m glad she’s that way.

Who did you first see this morning besides family? I haven’t been out today so I’ve only seen family.

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? Gabie.

Are all of your friends in relationships? Most of them are single, but a handful are in relationships.

Who is the last friend you saw? Gabie.

Do you have a best friend? Yes.

Where were you at 11 pm? Last night I think I was watching wrestling videos in my bedroom. Right now it’s only 10:09 PM.

Do you believe exes can be friends? They can but most of the time it’s never been the same experience. I’ve never heard of a breakup that was amicable enough that the couple was able to retain the exact same friendship they had before breaking up.

What color do you want to dye your hair? Dark green.

Do you think someone is thinking about you? It’s possible, but I doubt it. I haven’t been talking to people tonight.

Ever talked on the phone for more than 4 hours? No. When I have calls with my girlfriend that last for hours we usually just stay on the line in silence while we do our own thing, and that doesn’t really count as ‘talking on the phone.’

Are you basically a happy person? I’m a put-together person. I know how to look my 100% in public. But I’m not always happy.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I hope so.

Does the last person you kissed mean anything to you? Yeah, everything.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to? I certainly feel this way with Andrew as I find them to be a safe space. But I just choose to not tell them everything since I don’t count them as a best friend.

Are you Asian? Very.

Last movie you saw in theater? Knives Out, last December.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I objectively could. I’m not dependent on it or anything. But it would suck lol

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Many times.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yes, we get to do that sometimes. But we don’t do sleepovers often at my place so that my parents won’t start thinking that something’s up with us; and we don’t do sleepovers often at her place because I’m on very good terms with her parents and I don’t want to abuse it by constantly staying in their daughter’s room and obviously having sex with her under their roof lol

Could you last in a relationship for over a year? Duh.

Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say? No ex.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? Not at all.

In the past 5 months, kissed anyone with the name starting with an J? Nope.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? It’s not my strongest suit so I don’t get compliments on my eyes in general. I do get compliments on my eyelashes because they’re super long, and apparently people are into that haha.

#survey #surveys

1 note · View note

vyrridiana · 7 years

Note

PAY BACK TIME, BINCH. DO EVERY QUESTION

SHOULD’VE SEEN THIS COMING

I’ll skip the ones I’ve already answered tho :p

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

There are a couple of guys and gals and nb pals in my life. But more specifically, no significant other to speak of :’)

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Not particularly forgiving, but not holding a grudge either.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

KITTY

4: what’s something you really want right now?

A hug

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Yes, That’s a whole lot of feelings on top of the many feelings I already have on a regular day

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

I don’t remember. Maybe with my siblings, but never in a romantic setting.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

Just one of the standard pics.... It’s an old phone okay

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

WHAT DOES THIS QUESTION EVEN MEAN?????

10: do you like your phone?

I guess? It does everything it’s supposed to? Don’t really need anything else :p

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

For now, yes :)

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

I don’t remember and I’m too lazy to check

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

Rottweiler. THEY’RE SO ADORABLE

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Neither. It’s a different kind of pain that I believe should not be compared

16: are you tired?

Always

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

fuck if I know

18: are they a relative?

probably

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

No thanks

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Ummm 4 years ago maybe?

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

If they were ready then yes

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

Not really

25: what’s on your mind?

My neck hurts

26: do you have any tattoos?

Sadly no, one day I’ll have some tho

27: what is your favorite color?

Purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Fuck if I know

29: who are you texting?

nobody

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Maybe? I don’t remember

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

All time

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Absolutely

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Doubtful

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yup

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

???????????? If this is asking whether I care, then I’d have to say no

36: were you single on valentines day?

Always

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Not anymore

38: what do your friends call you?

Panda, liz, Vyr

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

Not really

40: have you ever cried over a text?

I think so

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Last year I just wanted to get away from everything. So I went to visit you

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My therapist

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yes! They’re the shoes I wore when I came to visit last year! And I’ll be wearing them again this year!

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

Nope

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Absolutely not

48: do you make supper for your family?

Nope

49: does your bedroom have a door?

Yes

50: top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, Youtube, and Flight Rising

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Yes, it’s me

52: does anything on your body hurt?

My back and neck

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

Yes

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

probably water

55: how is your hair?

Idk, I haven’t asked in a while

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

Get up to go pee

57: do you think two people can last forever?

Yes

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

Yes

59: green or purple grapes?

Green

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

In a few moments when I see my mom

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

YES! WITH YOU

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

idk

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

In bed.... maybe. That or playing Borderlands

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

I was getting ready for school and got distracted looking at pictures of girls

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Nope

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

YES! YOU

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

I hugged my dad

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I don’t remember

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yes

71: how many fingers do you have?

72: what is your ringtone?

One that came with the phone

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

Still 21

74: where is your mum right now?

Downstairs

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Because that’s not how it happened

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Nope :(

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Not really

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

No one

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

Nope

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

idk

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

WHAT IS THIS QUESTION

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

Yes. I don’t think I could be with anyone who did drugs. But I guess that might change

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

You were there

87: who was your last received call from?

My therapist

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

I’d contemplate it.... Though as I am right now I’d so no

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

Cuddles

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

Not that I recall

92: do you get along with girls?

Yes

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

94: does sex mean love?

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

It’d be awkward but nothing more

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

97: did you sleep alone this week?

Yes

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

YES!

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

I’ve never made a pinky promise

I deserved this.....

4 notes · View notes

witchofenoch · 7 years

Text

Personal post. Content warnings: PTSD, depression, anxiety, self-hatred, self-doubt, frustration, miscarriage, infertility, gender issues, trans issues, emotional abuse, childhood abuse, nightmares, insomnia, prostitution mentioned but didn't occur, childhood sexual abuse alluded to, physical abuse implied

Writing the warnings is so tiring I usually discard the post before I even finish with them. Nothing's getting better or easier tonight though. I just want to read until I fall asleep and have decent dreams and wake up feeling human. Instead I'm wide awake at midnight, chest full to bursting with frustration and anger and grief and fear.

I'm frustrated with so much, it's a shorter list by far of what isn't frustrating me. My biggest frustration? Myself. Not just because of my mental illnesses or autism or dysphoria or anything like that; I'm frustrated as hell at my nightmares. I want to sleep, NEED to just sleep, but I'd rather be awake for 4 straight days, pass out, repeat. I'm terrified of seeing that monster. With every nightmare he touches me more and my dream self excuses and forgives him more. Maybe some people could accept that as healing or moving on, but it's pure terror for me. What he did was completely unforgivable. He is the worst of the monsters out there. I feel like I've been hexed, like there's something attached to me that's gnawing at my soul and tearing at my mind.

I'm so damn angry. At him, absolutely, but also at the many, many adults who were around when I was a kid: who knew something was wrong and chose to ignore it: who blocked it out with no thought spared for the child going through it. The adults who blamed my mom, my sister, and me for his behavior. The people who took advantage of me later knowing that I knew nothing else or nothing better. The kids in high school who started rumors that I was a prostitute because he, "an old man," "picked [me] up at the bus stop" and made me "kiss him" on the lips when I was a teenager (quotes around the parts they spread through about half of the school, though they exaggerated the lewdness which has only fueled my nightmares since). It's been a decade and a half and my anger toward all of them hasn't eased: mostly it's gotten worse. I look at the kids my sister nannies, friends' kids, celebs' kids, and I cannot fathom someone hurting them. I'm angry at being left alone to grieve every loss in my life, being told to "get over it" or being flat-out ignored until I could "get it together" long enough to fake being okay. I'm angry at the would-have-been fathers for making me suffer in silence. (One didn't and we're friends to this day. He deserves to be mentioned.)

I'm grieving. I'm mourning the kid I couldn't be, the me who was taken before they were made, the years I don't remember, the adult I'll never be, the freedom I'll never feel, the memories I didn't get to make. I'm mourning the years wasted trying to get someone to pay attention to me: to show me some kind, any kind, of affection. Even the high school dances I couldn't attend, first because I was in fear for my life and later because no one wanted me around. I'm grieving for the miscarriages I've had, all 7 of them, all 8 could-have-beens.

I'm afraid and it's exhausting. Flinching at every single sudden noise. My heart pounding almost as loud as the knocks on the door. Always scanning the room or courtyard or parking garage for escape routes before I notice anything else around me. Feeling physically ill for the rest of the day after I smell certain colognes, shampoos, laundry detergents. Frantically glancing around to find potential weapons when I see an Iron Maiden t-shirt on a stocky guy around my height or almost-pastel short-sleeved button up shirts with a front pocket on one side or a petite brunette wearing a mini-skirt. (Abusers come in all shapes, sizes, and genders, fyi.) Straight-up hiding behind shelves in stores or behind a rack of clothes, in bathrooms, fitting rooms, closets, a dark corner until the people who sorta look or sound like One of Them is gone. Hiding (from) my phone when I get a call from "Unknown" or just numbers I don't know. Blocking or deactivating cameras and mics in my computers, phones, and tablets because yes, I've been hacked by abusers more than once. Hiding under a blanket when I read at night because when I was a kid it was the only time I felt safe aside from when I'd climb to the top of my tree. Being unable to sleep if the door is cracked open. Startling awake at anything that sounds like a door slamming shut, a window opening, someone knocking on the door, wall, or windows. Waking up with panic for no discernable reason. Cringing at certain words. Wanting to fight someone if they call a girl, boy, or woman "babydoll," "doll face," "little girl/boy," "little one," "baby girl/boy" (if they're 5 or older), or any other infantilizing pet name because You Will Not Hurt Them.

I'm tired. So damn tired. My shoulders are sore, my hips ache, my knees throb, my wrists ache, my back aches, my head hurts, my neck is stiff and sore, my chest feels like it's in a vice, my boobs hurt, and all of that is all the time. I have scars from the back of my head to ankles. I have old injuries that'll probably never heal. I have crap wrong that I was just unlucky enough to have been born with. I have things wrong with me that doctors can't figure out, like why I've had 7 miscarriages over 11 years and not one pregnancy that lasted more than 12 weeks. Things doctors refuse to fix, like removing my boobs which constantly ache, touching certain areas causes sharp pain (they have all of that on file and diagnosed), and I can't gain and maintain a healthy weight because the dysphoria messes me up (but good luck getting good trans "counseling" and docs and a surgeon who'll "diagnose" you as trans with dysphoria AND agree to operate to make you LESS feminine in any way in Churchy McChurchville). "Insurance won't cover it." "You might regret it." "What if you decide to have kids later." (That last one is a whole other can of worms and I need all of that stuff out of me too but even at almost 30 I'm condescended and told I'll change my mind, regret it, meet a Really Nice Guy™ and want to start a family, blah blah bull.)

I've had my battles with insomnia for as long as I can remember (which, for more than bits-and-pieces, is only as far back as 14). I've had night terrors since I was an infant. I've stayed awake for almost 60 hours, and I've slept for 25 hours straight. For a while in high school I was so scared that I got an hour or two of sleep a day when my sister was home and awake but her boyfriend wasn't there. That would last 6 days out of the week. I'd crash for 10-12 hours on my mom's day off. Rinse and repeat for 2 or 3 years. I've been a homeless kid, a couch surfing teenager, and a constantly moving adult. I haven't lived in one place for more than 2 years since we left The Monster when I was a preteen. Even then, I've shuffled around from my parents' house to my sister's apartments (she moves every couple of years too) to my grandma's house before she moved into an independent living place. (It's actually nice. I was the hardest to convince.) I may have found a place to stay for a while: the area if not the apartment.

Still.. the nightmares. Waking up sideways across the bed. Waking up so tangled in my covers I start panicking trying to get out. Seeing their faces until I finally blink them away. Smelling beer or smoke as I'm finally drifting off. Night terrors. Waking up with bruises around my arms, wrists, and legs. Waking up still feeling like someone's touching me, hurting me, or breathing down my neck. My dreams can be totally mundane except A or C or, the most often and worst, The Monster will be there. When it's A or C they'll be watching me, talking to me, chasing me, fighting me, screaming at me. It's a nightmare, stressful as hell, but I recover and go about my day just a tad more on edge. The Monster will just show up and we'll act like we're trying to form a relationship, like he's gotten nice and I've been forgiving. But every time he touches me I feel so sick I'm surprised I don't wake up. My sister and sometimes others show up trying to make me stop the farce, but I'm always too scared.

This last dream, night before last.. It was boring, nothing remarkable was going on. Then The Monster showed up in a city cop's blue uniform. In that world he was apparently an actual cop. With each nightmare dream!me has let him slowly get closer and closer and had long-arm hugged him before this. He'd "accidentally" brush my arm when walking by or bump his leg against mine while sitting next to me. This time he, the cop iteration of him, reached up for something on a shelf above me and was pressed against my back. He hugged me. He had me sit almost on his lap. At first I was nauseated, then accepting of it, then my sister showed up and gave me the "wtf are you doing!?" face and I got scared. Eventually I woke up, probably when my brother-in-law left for work or maybe he came into the room to feed the fish. I'm just glad I woke up when I did and things stopped escalating.

Ugh. "2am and I'm still awake writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd 'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you'll use them however you want to." I don't know. Whenever I'm up late writing, or trying to write, the stuff I'm going through that song comes to mind. So much of it is relatable for me.

"May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss. 'Just today' he said down to the flask in his fist. Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year." Turning 21 in May and not being sober for months before that applies to a past abuser. The drunk in the military part applies to another. Really, every word of it applies to a rather small part of my life when a lot of connected events occurred. At least, after the first verse (about going with a friend to be there for her when she got an abortion) and "writing a song" unless you take "song" metaphorically as it's been used in literature, trope names, and poetry, and lyrics to mean story, tale, or speech (e.g., a "songbird telling his tale," swan song, "singing to the choir").

I should hop off this carousel before it opens into a drain. It's about 2:45am now. I'm just starting to feel sleepy, but I'm still as mentally awake as before. I hope getting this out helps me sleep a little better, at least for a night or so.

#personal #witche

0 notes

jluphold · 7 years

Note

Questions time: 1-100 😊

Ah, thank you!!Questions time1: is there a boy/girl in your life? -Nah2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? -nah3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” -"how the fuck did a cat get in my house? Can I keep it?"4: what’s something you really want right now? -CHEESECAKE5: are you afraid of falling in love? -uh. I mean...kinda6: do you like the beach? -kinda! If it's with the right people7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? -I don't think so?8: what’s the background on your cell? -Cinderella's castle lmfao9: name the last four beds you were sat on? -FUCK. Mine, my mom's, and two of Scott's spare beds 10: do you like your phone? -yeah!11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? -not at all. But I'm VERY happy with how things turned out12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? -Matt from jobsite!13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? -Rottweiler 14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? -Emotional.15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? -zoo!16: are you tired? -kinda17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? -we haven't talked for a while, but like...8 years?18: are they a relative? -no19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? -what ex?20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? -a kiss?21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? -nah. Commitment scares me 22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? -would I kiss nobody again?23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? -none24: is there a certain quote you live by? -"growing older is a certainty. Growing up is optional." "All the world's a stage, and the men and women simply players" (I'm sure I fucked that up)25: what’s on your mind? -life. But mostly auditions.26: do you have any tattoos? -nah27: what is your favorite color? -UHM teal?28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? -who knows 29: who are you texting? -nobody30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? -lol no 31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? -YES ALL THE TIME32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? -yes!33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? -honestly I doubt it 34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? -actually yes!35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? -that would be NOBODY36: were you single on valentines day? -yeah37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? -wtf38: what do your friends call you? -Jessica. Jess. JESSICAHHHH39: has anyone upset you in the last week? -yeah40: have you ever cried over a text? -lol yeah41: where’s your last bruise located? -my thigh!42: what is it from? -ghosts? Iron deficiency? Something I don't recall?43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? -earlier today in that fucking restaurant with my grandma44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? -my mom lol45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? -I am very partial to my low top black Converse46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? -nah47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? -NO48: do you make supper for your family? -nope 49: does your bedroom have a door? -yes!50: top 3 web-pages? -UHM. YouTube, google docs, tumblr 51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? -lol yes. Me.52: does anything on your body hurt? -my stomach and under my right eye 53: are goodbyes hard for you? -depending on what the goodbye is, and who I'm saying goodbye to54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? -fruit punch 55: how is your hair? -soft and smooth and golden 😎56: what do you usually do first in the morning? -not gonna lie, I pee first thing57: do you think two people can last forever? -the right people, maybe58: think back to january 2007, were you single? -lol yes59: green or purple grapes? -green60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? -I have no idea. Maybe Wednesday61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? -I mean I'm in bed rn, I have no complaints at the moment 62: when will be the next time you text someone? -probably tomorrow 63: where will you be 5 hours from now? -sleeping lol 64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. -sleeping lol65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? -honestly I think it was Jonah 66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? -UHM...I don't...know?67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? -no68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? -honestly I have NO idea69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? -oh yeah!70: how many windows are open on your computer? -surprisingly only one!71: how many fingers do you have? -ten72: what is your ringtone? -some default shit, I'm not checking lol. Nobody calls me73: how old will you be in 5 months? -20 74: where is your mum right now? -in her bedroom sleeping75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? -we grew up and grew apart 76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? -nah77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? -There's a few that occasionally reemerge and we have a good time 78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? -John and Cody mostly 79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? -my uncle and my friend's dad80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? -nah. Get off me 81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? -like one. Or a half. I don't know 82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? -UHM. No. I hope not83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? -lmfao nope, don't have that celebrity's number84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? -I wouldn't, but probably Nikki and emily?85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? -yes.86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? -ok it was technically Falsettos (2016) in theaters. We got there with 2 minutes to spare and cried a lot during it87: who was your last received call from? -my momma 88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? -honestly I don't think I could 89: what is something you wish you had more of? -MONEY90: have you ever trusted someone too much? -yeah91: do you sleep with your window open? -wtf NO92: do you get along with girls? -honestly depends on the person 93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? -no94: does sex mean love? -love isn't sex. That's a thing my husband once told me, Marvin my ex! (But no. No it doesn't)95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? -I'm locked in a room with NOBODY. That might be a problem. I don't like being alone too much 96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? -lol97: did you sleep alone this week? -tf yes?98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? -I mean, my friends make me happy. Yes I do.99: do you believe in love at first sight? -UH. Maybe. Kinda. Idk100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? -probably Conner Finehout, he was the only one I ever pinky promised with (except my mom)

0 notes

rudizzlefoshizzle · 7 years

Text

1: is there a boy/girl in your life? - She still has my heart.

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? - Yes.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” - Right meow.

4: what’s something you really want right now? - A time machine.

5: are you afraid of falling in love? - I really don’t know right now, honestly. I have experienced the highs and the lows of love. Does that stop me from wanting to fall in love again? I don’t know right now.

6: do you like the beach? - Sure. I need to tan. Lol

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? - Yes. I thought my arm was gonna fall off after.

8: what’s the background on your cell? - A picture I took with my ipod touch either my sophomore or junior year. It’s a picture of a tree and the sky at waipio soccer complex.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on? - My bed, my sisters bed, my parents’ bed, her bed.

10: do you like your phone? - Yes.

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? - Lol planned from when? I didn’t plan on a lot of stuff that has happened in my life.

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? - My grandma

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? - Rottweiler

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? - Emotional pain I guess. I haven’t experienced any physical pain that makes me wanna pick it.

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? - Zoo.

16: are you tired? - Yes.

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? - Four years.

18: are they a relative? - Nope.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? - Yes.

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? - I’m not sure. Talked in person a couple weeks ago.

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? - It would be up to them. Lol. I don’t know.

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - Yes.

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? - 0

24: is there a certain quote you live by? - “All the days that you wake up, you got one job, and that’s to get better every single day.”

25: what’s on your mind? - How tired I am, how I gotta stay positive, how I wish I could fast forward to September or the ending of the year.

26: do you have any tattoos? - Nope

27: what is your favorite color? - I guess blue.

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? - I really don’t know.

29: who are you texting? - No one.

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? - Yes.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? - Yes.

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? - I used to.

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? - I don’t know. If they do they can do me a favor and tell me. Lol

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? - I think so.

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? - Well that’s what I do my best to avoid seeing so

36: were you single on valentines day? - Last Valentine’s day, no.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? - What are we? I don’t know. We’re friendly with each other, so I guess we’re friends. Lol

38: what do your friends call you? - My name?

39: has anyone upset you in the last week? - Not really. Just myself.

40: have you ever cried over a text? - Yes.

41: where’s your last bruise located? - Right shin.

42: what is it from? - I kicked a pipe or something I forget.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? - When I had to see her with him.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? - My Control Operator at work.

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? - Yes.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? - If I grow my hair out kinda long I wear a hat.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? - Lol that’s too much work to keep up though.

48: do you make supper for your family? - Sometimes.

49: does your bedroom have a door? - Yes.

50: top 3 web-pages? - youtube, reddit, twitter

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? - I don’t think so.

52: does anything on your body hurt? - My back/right lat. I slept weird last night I guess and I woke up sore.

53: are goodbyes hard for you? - Yes.

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? - Lol STP.

55: how is your hair? - It’s actually really nice right now. It’s at the length I like and I just got a haircut so I’m happy with it.

56: what do you usually do first in the morning? - Look at my phone.

57: do you think two people can last forever? - If they both want it. If they both put in the effort needed to make the relationship work.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single? - Lol shit I think so.

59: green or purple grapes? - Purple

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? - I don’t know.

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? - Sure.

62: when will be the next time you text someone? - Lol I don’t know. I don’t text anyone.

63: where will you be 5 hours from now? - In my bed.

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. - It’s currently only 6:30 so yesterday morning I was in bed sleeping.

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? - Yes.

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? - Yes.

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? - Nope.

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? - Just me being positive and telling myself I got this and stuff.

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - Yes.

70: how many windows are open on your computer? - One.

71: how many fingers do you have? - All the ones I was born with. Lol

72: what is your ringtone? - The classic telephone ring.

73: how old will you be in 5 months? - Still 22.

74: where is your mum right now? - In her room.

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? - Looking back at my past relationships, I can say that I’ve only been really in love once I guess. Or I can say that the feelings I felt in one relationship were so much stronger than the other ones, almost making the other ones just crushes or infatuations. I don’t know how to explain it. Lol I know what I mean though. The one relationship makes the others obsolete. But we’re not together anymore because the timing with me starting my new job and her school getting more stressful made us fall apart. Along with miscommunication and a few misunderstandings. All of which have been cleared up, but it was too late already.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? - Nope.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? - Yes.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? - Lol yes.

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? - Yes.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? - I think so.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? - Lol I didn’t have much liking of anything in the past three months.

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? - My parents I think.

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? - I highly doubt it.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? - Probably soccer friends.

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? - As long as it’s recreational use, once in awhile kinda thing.

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? - When I went to see Moana, a guy behind me kept making comments, guessing what was gonna happen next kinda thing. He talked really loud. It was annoying. I don’t know if that’s eventful. Lol

87: who was your last received call from? - My grandma.

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? - Yes. Lol

89: what is something you wish you had more of? - Money. Or level 99 social skills.

90: have you ever trusted someone too much? - I think so.

91: do you sleep with your window open? - Usually.

92: do you get along with girls? - Yes.

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? - Nope.

94: does sex mean love? - No. Sex with the person you love, and knowing they feel the same way, is really the best feeling though.

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? - Maybe. Lol. We’re gonna be wondering why we’re stuck in a room together. But I think we’d be fine with each other.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? - Nope.

97: did you sleep alone this week? - Lol yes.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? - Yes.

99: do you believe in love at first sight? - Lol no. I’m very strict with the word love though. I don’t just tell anyone I love them, like some people do. Like I know it’s just an easy way to show that you care or appreciate someone, but I keep that word only for family and close friends and when I know I’m really in love.

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? - I can’t remember.

0 notes