#I have a very healthy relationship with my husband as these are all green flags to me

[kit-williams]

I guess I should do a Soap focused cope fic huh

Gonna be honest he's probably going to be pretty ooc but that's not really the point of these cope fics it's just to help me heal from the trauma of almost losing my best friend/husband

But uh slightly obsessive Johnny (You all know who you are who introduced me to that concept) Also breeding kink Johnny (just warning ya'll when it gets mentioned)

But once I finish coping with it if you all actually want me to fix it up so that Goblin is more of an OC/reader insert and maybe put more thought into the vague plot let me know

Also as much as I love reading other people write Johnny speaking Scottish I am not going to try for this. I will probably come back and edit it when I'm done just writing cope fics

"Nikito scares me." I confess to Soap who looks at me concerned.

"What he do?" He says almost accusatory and I just look down as my lips still feel funny.

"Its his eyes. They're very intense."

"And yet you tell Ghost he has lovely eyes." He teases and I just elbow him. As I look back down at the switch in my hands and the little animal people there. My entire online persona belonged to my half here and as much as I wanted to steal back my accounts I couldn't do that to me. "Is it because of something you know?"

I shrug. I was normally a lorehound for fandoms I was apart of but I was so out of my comfort zone. I am pretty sure there would be other people to kill for this chance and yet here is my ADHD ass here with the brick shithouses known as 141 and Kortac. "Maybe... I don't really have ya'll Wikipedia pages memorized like I did with Halo ones. Just I know he's a scary man. Though I think that describes most of ya'll."

Soap just chuckled as his arm was just wrapped around me. That was something I noticed so far with Ghost and Soap and I suppose König is that they all felt comfortable to holding me or keeping me within arms reach. I guess I wasn't doing so well recently what with the holidays coming up and... I'd be missing his first Christmas.

"Bonnie... you're running into the ocean." Johnny said beside me and I just blinked focusing on what was in front of me and I just shut it off. My palms pressed into my eyes as I wasn't okay... oh God I wasn't okay. I could feel his arms wrap around me tightly. "Do you need me to get Ghost?"

"No. I want to go home." I say with a hiccup in my voice. Oh how pathetic I felt around all these military folks just barely being okay... slowly withering away.

"I know... I know." He whispers to me stopping me from crying. He distracts me by having me move my hand over the shaved part of his head just letting me zone out as I feel the relief of the stimulation. He looked at me with those pretty blue eyes a little darker than my husbands. Dark hair like his... looking at Johnny hurt. Just as long as I never saw him in a kilt I think I could manage. I smile softly. "There's that bonnie smile."

-------

He was grateful for knowing how he would die and how to avoid it. She tried her best to keep him from looking too hard... she tried really hard to keep the reality where she was from separate. I mean it was a tad odd to see a person with his face not be in the military. The way people gushed about him and the others... and oh she really did try to keep them away from the shipping. Ghoap... he couldn't look at LT for a day.

They broke the rules they had been laid out... they were really simple rules... just stay off of a few websites but no it took them only a few days before they subjected themselves to the content. Gaz was naturally flattered, Price was concerned, Soap found it hilarious, but Ghost was disturbed... couldn't look at Goblin for a few days after finding out what she was into. Soap did his best to keep her away from her "favorite" Kortac operator but it seems he managed to worm his way to her.

But what stuck with Johnny were the pictures on her phone of her, her lad, and the bairn. The way Goblin's eyes sparkled as she held the large baby against her, her lad was a big lad like him cept a bit more round. The videos they would send of the bairn and he could hear it in Goblin's voice of how much she loved them. Of course, her pain was why he and Ghost kept her close. But... she made the cutest little bairn and he could tell it was killing her to lose her lad and her bairn yet seeing them through pictures and messages and feeling so displaced... she couldn't just walk into her old life and take it back she was stuck here and brought up the fact that if she could go back would there just be 2 of her wandering around?

Johnny had to bite his tongue as he wanted to ease that pain... Ghost had been holding him back from scaring Goblin but he could give her a happy little bairn! And it didn't have to just be him he was happy to share with Simon! She even said how she wasn't the best stay at home mom but she was practicing before she had the bairn, Johnny was eager to help get Goblin comfortable and help with whatever little ticks and tricks she needed to be able to be a good mama.

For now Johnny had to be content in comforting their weird little Goblin. He placed small kisses on the top of her head as she leaned on him just calming down.

Maybe Johnny wasn't so disappointed that she might be stuck here.

#coping #cope fic #cod #cod mw2 #Soap #Johnny #john soap mactavish #cod x oc #OC #maybe I'm sprinkling in more plot #maybe everyone isn't fully sane #I really like the idea of unhinged Soap #again all of these fics have stuff for the men that line up parallel to my husband #I have a very healthy relationship with my husband as these are all green flags to me

[themelancholyhill]

I see our negative thinking like parasites or viruses sometimes. They are so intent on winning that they forget if they win, they lose. I am glad to hear that this guy texted you and explained himself, it’s a definite green flag all the way! I hope you get to keep this connection for as long as it serves you. See? He backed off a bit (not “stopped talking to you”) because he needed some time and space to figure out why he felt he needed that distance. I do this all the time, with the hopes that the other person doesn’t take it personally. I think needing space and distance from someone is completely normal and healthy. It’s part of enforcing boundaries and boundaries are especially important if you want to maintain the integrity of a relationship. Someone enforcing their boundaries around you doesn’t mean they love you less, it actually means they love you a lot and that they want this connection to last. Love is not the only thing a relationship needs to thrive. You can love someone the deepest you have ever loved and it can still not work out. Most of the time, it’s due to boundaries not being properly enforced. If a person gets pissed off about you enforcing your boundaries, then that person isn’t supposed to be a permanent figure in your life. No one is worth us betraying ourselves for.

Another point I wanted to make is that, there are times my friends make bad jokes, and there are times i say things that are off-putting (I really do do this, it’s not just me being self-critical) but i don’t want to cut that friend off completely just because they said something i don’t agree with. These connections mean more to me than some words someone says on an off day. Even if we have conflicting views on things, it still doesn’t matter to me, unless that person gets preachy and disrespectful. And conversely, i’d feel terrible if a friend cut me off from their life from something i said flippantly one day, but i’d respect their wishes and let them go, i don’t want to have to tip toe around someone all the time. If they can’t forgive even the slightest transgression, it’s a sign that maybe we were never meant to be friends long term. So far, the only time i’ve consciously made a decision to cut someone out of my life was because my biggest boundaries were disrespected after repeatedly advocating for myself. This is a friend i loved and had to let go. I know my decision hurt her but without boundaries, the friendship isn’t in a good place to last long.

Any relationship, whether it’s platonic, familial, romantic, sexual, are going to be met with ruptures. That’s just how it goes when you want to connect with other humans, you’re bound to have friction in all interpersonal relationships. The friction doesn’t matter, what matters is the repair after the rupture. A lot of people think fighting is bad in a relationship, I disagree. From my recent experience, having a rupture and repairing that rupture actually brought me and the other person closer together than before. It strengthened our relationship exponentially. It’s made me realize just how much i mean to this other person, and them me. So him explaining himself to you so candidly after respecting his own boundaries of needing to take some time away from you to understand why his intuition told him he needed space, is once again, just a big ass green flag waving proudly in the wind! I hope that as you continue your connection with him, you’ll come to be more gentle with yourself and not blame yourself for every reaction he has towards you. That kind of thinking verges on emotional manipulation. You can’t control how he reacts to you, you can’t and you shouldn’t, he’s entitled to his opinions. This is loving unconditionally, to love someone without expectations or reward.

As for summer, i have no plans. I’m very boring when it comes to that. My daughter will be out of school and i’ll be working, same goes for my husband. Taking trips sound nice in theory but i’m too lazy to plan anything on this short notice and i have quite a lot of work to do on myself internally. But if i’m daydreaming, i’d love a trip to the UK. I wouldn’t spend too much time in London though, i’d want to see the countryside, the cliffs of Dover, Scotland, Ireland and Wales, all that. I’d mostly visit museums and art galleries, pubs to people watch, maybe go to a live theatre show, talk to the locals and enjoy making connections that are meant to be temporary but no less significant.

You? What are you doing for summer? I recently watched a French film called “Night of the 12th” (“La Nuit du 12”) in my city and i was so enthralled afterwards that i almost got a ticket for my expired parking space but i didn’t, haha! It premiered in Europe last year but it only made its way here in North America now. This film is on my mind a lot, i can’t stop thinking about it. I love it when art does that! I highly recommend it if you have the time and interest.

I hope your day is as gentle with you as your finger on a flower’s petal.

V✖️

Here’s to the hopes that we’ll be able to tame our overthinking tendencies. Being less confrontational by taking a step back to regain composure is important to do and understand. Setting boundaries is like following a guideline that helps preserving any given relationship and it’s also used to test if the latter will last or is worth investing time and effort in. I read somewhere that disagreeing with someone contributes to the relationship; as a people’s pleaser myself, I’m working on this.

Besides, how chaotic and toxic would a friendship (or any relationship) be if it had no boundaries whatsoever? It’d be like an endless cycle of forgiving and forgetting. To me (someone who’s never been in a relationship, except for family or friends), I see fighting as a contributing factor as long as those who are concerned learn from their mistakes. I don’t know, it creates a safe space for everyone, like, no matter what happens, there’ll always be a sense of security and comfort with that person (people) despite inconveniences.

Our emotions get the best of us at the start of any relationship because we base our judgement on other people’s experiences before getting to know the person we’re dealing with; but that’s just how I see it.

Your plans for the summer are absolutely lovely; as a hopeless romantic, I approve wholeheartedly. I don’t have a clear plan either, mostly staying at home and chilling. I will spend my days reading, watching movies, maybe painting and writing. Next year, I’m majoring in literature and history and for now I’ll essentially relax and consume different media since I don’t I’ll get to do that once I uni starts.

The movie you mentioned sounds intriguing and I’ll add it to my watch list. I’ve been getting into watching silent movies since last year, and the recent one I watched that amazed me is: Faust (1926). It’s based on the Goethe version, but what’s impressive about it is the cinematography.

I’ve just watched Incendies (Fires) which was released in 2010. It’s the story of twins from Canada who travel to Palestine to uncover their family history and fulfill their mother’s wishes. The plot keeps you engaged the whole time and the plot twists are just amazing. It’s like a puzzle but it doesn’t feel like one and the way everything is resolved in the end is so satisfactory. It also touches on sensitive topics but without being exploitative, which I appreciate a lot.

“I hope your day is as gentle with you as your finger on a flower’s petal.” How can I possibly top this one off??!! But I truly hope that your day has been as gentle and thoughtful as your words.

#asks #friendship #V✖

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

The Vineyard at Painted Moon by Susan Mallery

 Emotion laden, deeply moving, intensely poignant, well crafted – this story grabbed me and didn’t let me go till I finished at 3am. I felt so much and at times wanted to jump into the pages to “fix” things knowing that the author would bring things right for at least some of the characters by the end of the book…or at least I hope she would! This is a story of love, loss, growth, endurance, values, goals and family. It is a keeper and one I would reread in the future.

 What I liked:

* Mackenzie:  dedicated, focused, interesting. She has been stymied for a while and may need to move on from the safe haven she has lived within for over a decade and a half. She has a rough time of it but comes through rather brilliantly in the end.

* Catherine: sister-in-law to Mackenzie, loving, kind, in tune with the earth, grounded, warm, creative…really liked her.

* Stephanie: sister-in-law to Mackenzie, divorced, mother of two teens, stuck in a rut and trying to move forward but it isn’t easy for her to do so. She is Mackenzie’s best friend and has been since college.

* Bruno: wealthy, attractive, investor, wine distributor, and intriguing. He is warm, a good friend, caring, communicates brilliantly and is perfect for the woman he ends up with.

* Kyle: a good father, professional, a bit selfish…divorced from Stephanie and father of her children

* Rhys: not a bad guy, married to Mackenzie, wants what is best for both of them, a bit heavy handed at times and sometimes rather clueless…and also selfish, perhaps.

* Georgio: a good man, loving, kind, generous, and perfect for the right woman – the boyfriend of Barbara (mother-in-law of Mackenzie)

* The close relationships that were friendly, warm, and caring.

* That there was growth in a number of characters.

* The dynamics between various individuals and groups.

* The way verbalization of feelings, thoughts, and insight into the characters

* Learning a bit more about the winemaking business.

* The setting – love that area of the world!

* All of it really except…

 What I didn’t like:

* Barbara: I won’t give details but if you read the book you will probably feel the same

* Lori: daughter of Barbara and quite a bit like her, I fear.

* The sadness I felt as I empathized with Mackenzie.

 Did I enjoy this book? Yes

Would I read more by this author? Definitely

 Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequen (HQN) for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 5 Stars

BLURB

MacKenzie Dienes's life isn't perfect, but it's as close as she could ever hope to get. Her marriage to Rhys, her best friend's brother, is more friendship than true love. But passion is highly overrated, right? And she loves her job as the winemaker at Bel Apres, her in-laws' vineyard. So what if it's a family business and, even after decades of marriage and incredible professional success, she's still barred from the family business meetings? It's all enough...until one last night spent together leads to an incredibly honest—and painful��conversation. Rhys suggests that they divorce. They haven't had a marriage in a long time and, while he wants her to keep her job at Bel Apres, he doesn't think they should be married any longer. Shocked, MacKenzie reels at the prospect of losing the only family she's ever really known...even though she knows deep in her heart that Rhys is right.

But when MacKenzie discovers she's pregnant, walking away to begin a new life isn't so easy. She never could have anticipated the changes it would bring to the relationships she cherishes most: her relationship with Barbara, her mother-in-law and partner at Bel Apres, Stephanie, her sister-in-law and best friend, and Bel Apres, the company she's worked so hard to put on the map.

MacKenzie has always dreamed of creating a vineyard of her own, a chance to leave a legacy for her unborn child. So when the opportunity arises, she jumps at it and builds the Vineyard at Painted Moon. But following her dreams will come at a high price—one that MacKenzie isn't so sure she's willing to pay…

  EXTRACT

Chapter One

“Not that what you’re wearing isn’t great, but the party starts in an hour.”

Mackenzie Dienes looked up from the grapevine she’d been studying, her mind still on the tight clusters of small, hard grapes that would, come late September, be ripe and sweet and ready for harvest. Between now and then, she would monitor their progress, willing them to greatness and protecting them from danger, be it mold, weather or hungry deer.

She blinked at the man standing in front of her, tall and familiar, with an easy smile and broad, capable shoulders.

“Party?” she asked, letting her thoughts of the vineyards go and remembering that, yes, indeed, it was the evening of the annual Solstice Party, hosted by the Barcellona family. As she was a Barcellona, by marriage if not by name, she would be expected to attend.

Wanted to attend, she reminded herself. It was always a good time, and Stephanie, her sister-in-law, worked hard to make it a perfect night.

“The party,” she repeated, her voice slightly more panicked this time, then glanced down at herself. “Crap. What time is it?”

Rhys, her husband, shook his head. “You really don’t listen when I talk, do you? We have an hour. You’ll be fine.”

She pulled off her gloves and shoved them into the left front pocket of her coveralls, then stepped behind Rhys and gave him a little push toward the flatbed truck he’d driven out to the west vineyards.

“You say that because all you have to do is shower and get dressed. I have to do the girl thing.”

“Which takes you maybe ten minutes.” He put his arm around her as they hurried toward the truck. “Happy with the grapes?”

“I think so,” she said, glancing toward the healthy vines growing on either side of them. “We might have to do some thinning in a couple of weeks, but so far, so good.”

As they slid onto the bench seat of the old truck, he glanced at her. She smiled, knowing there was a fifty-fifty chance he would call her out on her thinning statement. He was, after all, the vineyard manager. Technically all the decisions about the vineyard were made by him with her input, but not her instruction. As winemaker, she managed the grapes from the moment they were picked until the wine was bottled.

But at Bel Après, areas of responsibility often overlapped. Theirs was a large, boisterous family in which everyone had opinions. Not that Mackenzie listened to a lot of other ideas when it came to her wines, although as Rhys often pointed out, she was very free offering hers when it came to his work.

He drove along the dirt path that circled the vineyard, stopping by her truck. She slid into the cab, then followed him back to the family compound. The main road leading into Walla Walla was thick with tourists who wanted to enjoy the longest day of the year. She merged into the slow-moving traffic, doing her best to keep from glancing at the clock on the truck’s dashboard as she inched along.

Vineyards stretched out on either side of the road, flat on the left and rising toward the hills on the right. Bright green leaves topped sturdy trunks that had been carefully trained to grow exactly as she wanted them to. The rows were long and neat, and the spaces between them were filled with native grasses that held in moisture and protected the roots from the heat.

Looking at her healthy crop kept her mind off the fact that she and Rhys were going to be desperately late.

Twenty minutes later, she followed him off the highway onto a less crowded secondary road—a back way home. Five minutes after that, they parked the trucks by the processing buildings behind the big tasting room. Rhys had already claimed one of the golf carts the family used to get around. She slid in next to him and they took off toward the center of the property.

Bel Après Winery and the surrounding land had been in the Barcellona family for nearly sixty years. Rhys and his siblings were third-generation. The original main house had been updated several times. When Rhys and Mackenzie had married, Barbara, Rhys’s mother, had suggested they build themselves a house close to hers, rather than commute from town. Eager to stay in the good graces of her new mother-in-law, Mackenzie had agreed.

A large two-story home had been built. Barbara and Mackenzie had decorated every room, the act of choosing everything from light fixtures to doorknobs cementing their affection for each other.

A few years later, Stephanie, the second of Barbara’s four children, had gotten a divorce and moved back home with her two kids, requiring another house to be constructed. When the youngest of the three girls had married, the last house had been added. Only Lori, the middle daughter, still lived in the original home.

All four houses faced a huge central courtyard. Mexican pavers were shaded by vine-covered pergolas. The extended family used the space for big dinners and as a kids’ play area. If one of the women baked cookies, a cookie flag was hung out the front door, inviting anyone to stop by. At Christmas, a large tree was brought in from Wishing Tree, and for the annual Summer Solstice Party, dozens of long tables were brought in to seat the two hundred or so guests.

Rhys swung the golf cart behind the large main house, circling counterclockwise. Normally he would cut across the courtyard, but with all the party preparations, he had to go the long way. He pulled up at the rear entrance to their house and they dashed inside.

Mackenzie paused to unlace her boots and left them in the mudroom. Rhys did the same. They raced up the stairs together, separating at the landing to head to their individual en suite bedrooms.

Once in her bathroom, she started the shower. Thankfully, she’d already picked out the dress she would wear. She raced through a shower. After she dried off, she wrapped her hair in a towel and dug out the scented body lotion Rhys had given her a couple of years ago. Why anyone would want to smell like coconut and vanilla was beyond her, but he liked it.

She walked into the large closet and opened her underwear drawer. To the right were all the sensible bikini panties she usually wore—to the left were the fancier ones for special occasions. She chose a black pair and slipped them on, then went to the second drawer and looked for the matching push-up bra. When it and the pads were in place and doing the best they could with her modest curves, she pulled on a robe and returned to the bathroom.

After plugging in her hot rollers, it took her only a few minutes to apply eyeliner and mascara. She was flushed from the day working outside, so she didn’t bother with any other makeup.

Her hair took a lot longer. First she had to dry the dark red shoulder-length waves, then she had to curl them. While the rollers were in place, she searched for a pair of black high-heel sandals that wouldn’t leave her crippled by the end of the night.

Those found, she opened her small jewelry box and pulled out her wedding set, sliding both the engagement ring and the wedding band into place on her left hand. Diamond stud earrings followed. She’d barely stepped into her sleeveless black dress when Rhys walked into the closet, fully dressed in black slacks and a dark gray shirt.

She sighed when she saw him. “See. You have it so much easier than me.”

“Yes, but in the end, you’re more beautiful. That should be worth something.”

“I’d rather have the extra time.”

She turned, presenting him with her back. He pulled up the zipper, then bent to collect her shoes. They retreated to her bathroom and together began removing the curlers.

“We’re late,” Mackenzie said, catching sight of his watch. “Your mom is going to be all snippy.”

“She’ll be too busy welcoming her guests.” The last of the curlers was flung onto the counter. Mackenzie fluffed her hair, then pointed to the bedroom.

“Retreat,” she said, reaching for the can of hair spray.

Rhys ducked to safety. She sprayed the curls into submission before running into the bedroom to escape the death cloud. Rhys was on the bench at the foot of the large bed. She sat next to him and quickly put on her shoes.

“Done,” she said, pausing to reacquaint herself with the seldom-used skill of walking in heels.

She grabbed her husband’s wrist. “Seven fifteen. Barbara’s going to kill us.”

“She’s not. I’m her only son and you’re just plain her favorite.”

“We weren’t ready exactly at seven. I can already hear the death-march music in my head. I want to be buried on Red Mountain.”

Rhys chuckled as he led the way downstairs. “In the vineyard? I’m not sure your decaying body is going to be considered organic.”

“Are you saying I’m toxic?” she asked with a laugh as they walked toward the front door.

“I’m saying you’re wonderful and I’d like us to have a good night.”

There was something in his tone, she thought, meeting his gaze. She’d known this man her entire adult life. They’d met over Christmas her freshman year of college. Her roommate, his sister Stephanie, had dragged Mackenzie home to meet the family. Grateful not to have to spend the holiday by herself, Mackenzie had gone willingly and had quickly found herself falling not only for her best friend’s hunky older brother but for the entire Barcellona family and the vineyards they owned. Barbara had been like a surrogate mother, and the vineyards, well, they had been just as magical as Rhys’s sexy kisses.

Now she studied her husband’s expression, seeing the hint of sadness lurking behind his easy smile. She saw it because she hid the same emotion deep inside herself. The days of stealing away for sexy kisses were long gone. There were no lingering looks, no intimacy. They had a routine and a life, but she was less sure about them still having a marriage.

“I’d like that, too,” she murmured, knowing he wasn’t asking them not to fight. They never did. Harsh words required a level of involvement they simply didn’t have anymore.

“Then let’s make that happen,” he said lightly, taking her hand in his and opening the front door.

  AUTHOR BIO

#1 NYT bestselling author Susan Mallery writes heartwarming, humorous novels about the relationships that define our lives―family, friendship, romance. She's known for putting nuanced characters in emotional situations that surprise readers to laughter. Beloved by millions, her books have been translated into 28 languages. Susan lives in Washington with her husband, two cats, and a small poodle with delusions of grandeur. Visit her at SusanMallery.com.

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Q and A with Susan Mallery on The Vineyard at Painted Moon

 1.      Where did inspiration for the book come from?

 The Vineyard at Painted Moon was really inspired by the gorgeous wine country of Washington State. My readers have told me that they love when my books have wish-you-were-there settings, like the tulip farms in Secrets of the Tulip Sisters and the monastery-turned-mansion of The Summer of Sunshine and Margot. So I knew I wanted to set my next hardcover somewhere that would give readers a beautiful, scenic escape—and this was well before I knew the book would come out during a pandemic, when we’re all trapped at home a lot more than usual.

 So I started daydreaming about beautiful settings, and I landed on Washington wine country. Breathtaking. Seriously, look it up.

 Every evening before dinner, Mr. Mallery and I have a glass of wine together and tell one another about our day. This daily ritual makes us feel close and connected even when life gets hectic, and it has led us to learn more about how wine is made. I thought it could be really interesting to write about a female winemaker, because this is still very much a male-dominated field. I asked myself, “What is the worst thing that could happen to a winemaker?”

 “What if,” I thought, “she lost the land she loved?”

 And not because of fire or natural disaster, but because of an emotional earthquake—Mackenzie Dienes is the winemaker at a family winery. But it’s her husband’s family. . . and their marriage is in trouble. She could stay if she’s willing to be nothing more than an employee for the rest of her life. But if she wants something more, something of her own, she’ll have to be brave.

 The Vineyard at Painted Moon is the story of Mackenzie’s search for happiness and self-fulfillment after divorce. With some pretty spectacular scenery thrown in. Oh, and wine. Lots and lots of wine.

 2.      What are your favourite scenes? Why?

 This is a tricky question for me to answer without spoilers, because my favorite scenes are the emotional turning points of the story. I don’t really want to reveal them here, as I think readers will want to experience them on their own. I will answer, but it’s going to be vague and somewhat frustrating. Teasers, rather than spoilers.

 I love the scene where Mackenzie and Rhys realize that their marriage is over. (That doesn’t count as a spoiler, since it’s revealed on the back cover of the book.) The way they come to the realization and move through the scene is completely unexpected and unlike any breakup scene I’ve ever written—or read, for that matter. It’s heartbreaking and poignant and beautiful and even a little funny. If you have a heart, it’ll make you cry. I think readers are going to fall in love with Rhys even as Mackenzie is accepting that she’s not in love with him anymore.

 One of my other favorite scenes is one that I’m not sure will stand out as much in readers’ minds. It’s a scene in which Mackenzie finds out just how highly she is esteemed by her colleagues in the wine world. She never knew. She never thought of working anywhere but the family winery—she was just so grateful to have a family through her husband, since she had none of her own. In this scene, nothing really changes but her perception—of herself, and of how people perceive her—but perception is reality. Suddenly, Mackenzie realizes that she has options. She can dare to dream.

 And that changes everything.

 3.      What was the hardest scene to write and why?

 At the risk of repeating myself, that scene in which Mackenzie and Rhys finally acknowledge that their marriage is over was certainly one of the hardest to write. The emotional intricacies of the situation were incredibly nuanced. I had to get it exactly right. Rhys is not a point-of-view character, so the whole scene is told from Mackenzie’s perspective, but I wanted the reader to understand and empathize with Rhys, as well. It’s a deeply emotional scene, and I’m very curious to see how readers will respond to it.

 4.      Do you have advice for me wanting to write in the same genre?

 Never give up. There are a lot of very talented writers who will never be published simply because they gave up trying. You never know if the next book will be the one. You have to want it enough to keep going.

 5.      Where did the idea for the title come from? It’s so original.

 Thank you! I almost never come up with the titles for my own books. My file names are just the first name of the main character, so the working title on this book was Mackenzie. When it’s time to title the book, the whole team makes suggestions—my editor, agent, assistant, the marketing department. It’s trickier now than it’s ever been because I’ve written a lot of books, and we don’t want the titles to be too similar. And yet they have to appeal to the same audience.

 All that said, I was the one to suggest The Vineyard at Painted Moon. I thought it would be appropriate to feature the beautiful setting in the title, since it plays such an important role in the book. I’m glad you like it!

 6.      Who is your favorite character and why?

 I love Stephanie and Four, Rhys’s sisters and Mackenzie’s best friends. They’re the kind of friend that every woman should have—and that every woman should be. Close female friendships are a hallmark of my books. In The Vineyard at Painted Moon, the friendships were especially complex because they were also sisters-in-law. . . soon to be exes. But at the end of the day, this truly is Mackenzie's story, so she would be the favorite.

 7.      What is your favorite book genre to read?

 For the most part, I read what I write—women’s fiction and romance. I’m not into thrillers or anything that involves violence and murder. I’m much more interested in emotional drama, in the inherent conflict between people who want different things.

#Susan Mallery #Harlequin #HQN #NetGalley #Fiction #Romance #Women's Fiction #Wine #Divorce #Family

[trauma-13]

All the asks 😈

Who hurt you the most?

My dad. He essentially walked out of my life when I was 12-13, and blames me for our lack of relationship and refuses to acknowledge his part in it. 

Who have you hurt the most?

Oh hell. Uh, I really don’t know. 

Who do you miss the most?

My mom, and my friends that I don’t see on a regular basis. @car-one-responding i’m looking at you. 

Who do you want out of your life the most?

Happiness and to feel like I’ve made a difference in someones life. If that’s a stranger, a friend, my son, my husband, doesn’t matter. I like helping people. (I misread, I thought this said WHAT do you want out of life, not WHO. So to answer the original question, I wouldn’t mind my dads wife wandering off somewhere and never returning.)

Who had the biggest positive impact on you?

There’s been quite a few people. My mom and two of my nursing mentors are the first ones who come to mind. My mom taught me to never give up on your goals, no matter how hard it is and how much you may struggle. She taught me to what a good mother is, and was always present in my life no matter how busy she was in her own life. She gave me my love of nursing and helping others from a very young age, and continued to inspire me to join the nursing profession. She continues to inspire me to further my dream within this career. My nursing mentors are a married couple I used to work with, who I still speak to on a fairly regular basis. They’re the epitome of amazing nurses. D is the kindest person, she gives every patient a piece of her heart and cares for them like they’re her own family (even the frustrating ones). She’s so loving to her friends and family as well and goes above and beyond to help them anyway she can. M is also an incredibly caring nurse, who is the smartest human I’ve ever met. Not just in nursing, but in every aspect. He’s continued his education into his 60s to further his career and his knowledge to provide the best care for his patients. When I first met M, I had just started at my prior job, I was fairly quiet just because I didn’t really know anyone yet. I had worked there maybe a week or two, he put an arm around my shoulders and said “You’re kind of quiet, do you want to be friends?” and immediately he was my favorite person. Of all the people I’ve worked with through my 10 yrs in health care, D and M are the ones I miss the absolute most. 

Who had the biggest negative impact on you?

Again, my dad. I have very good and fun memories with him when I was little, like 10 and under. However, he decided his wife and her children were more important than his own and he walked out of my life. It took a VERY long time (probably 10 yrs) for me to get over his abandonment, and accept that it wasn’t my fault and there is nothing wrong with me as a person that caused it. 

Who do you wish you could be honest with?

I’m a pretty fuckin honest person, and I tell people like it is. There aren’t many people I don’t just speak my mind to. 

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?

I’m sure I have in the past, but there isn’t anyone who comes to mind specifically. 

Who would the world be better off without?

The cheeto in charge of our country. Sorry, not even a little bit sorry. 

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?

I was a dick in high school to a lot of people, and I don’t really think I had any reason. 

What was the worst day of your life?

The day I got kicked out of nursing school. I obviously got back in, but it was a horrible experience. 

What’s your greatest fear?

Failure. 

What’s your biggest insecurity?

My knowledge level. I feel like I’m not as smart as I should/could be. 

What’s your biggest regret?

Staying in my past relationship for as long as I did, and ignore all the red flags that were there since day one. 

Describe your ideal world.

Cleaner air, less crime, less pollution (across the whole world), more green/renewable energy use, a safer world for my kid to grow up in. Married to my hubby, raising our son and possible a #2, to have the financial ability to help foster rescue dogs. 

Describe your personal hell.

The current world we’re in. 

What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?

Hmm. I feel like I’ve always had very realistic dreams. So probably the slim chance that I’ll win the lottery haha! 

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?

Probably when my douche bag ex got shitfaced, the PD called on him, they called fire for an evaluation because he had a lac on his hand due to punching glass, they wanted to take him to the ER and because he was absolutely obliterated he couldn’t refuse annnnd they took him to the ER I worked at. When I got there he was in full on 4 pt restrains and had been given the magical vitamin H. I shoulda turned and walked out then (or one of the many red flags before....)

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?

When said ex threatened to hurt my dogs because I told him I was done and to pack his shit and get out. He pulled a knife on me and said he would kill me and the dogs if I tried to leave him. I figured I could probably keep myself alive if he did attack me, but if he hurt my dogs I’d have gone to jail that day. 

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?

Honestly? this last week. motherhood is hard. breastfeeding is fucking hard. I was having such a difficult time with breast feeding and postpartum depression that I had legitimate suicidal thoughts with a vague plan of what I would do. I’m fine now, don’t go calling for a welfare check. 

What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?

Again when douchey ex threatened my dogs. They’re my world and I would do anything to keep my kids (2 and 4 legged) safe. 

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?

Also this week. 

What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?

Frantic?? uh fuck, the most recent time I can think of was the day before my son was born, my OB told me I had to go to the OB triage at my hospital because my BP was high and she needed to monitor JTD and make sure he was okay. 

What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?

When I stood up to my douche ex as he had a knife pulled on me.

What’s the best case scenario for your future?

I’m a trauma nurse at a level 1 trauma center, hubby is done with nursing school working in his dream unit (either ED or ICU, he changes his mind daily), our son is happy and healthy, if we choose to have a second kiddo that they’re happy and healthy. We own a nice house, with a good sized yard for the 2 and 4 legged babies. 

What’s the worst case scenario for you future?

Uh, I lose my rights to my son, and lose my license. 

What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?

Tie between labor contractions when i was complete/ready to pop the kid out, or when I had nasal surgery and they accidentally “forgot” to give me any pain medication through the whole surgery. Honestly probably the nasal surgery, it was constant, the contractions came and went, frequently, but there was a little break in between. 

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?

I’m going to go with when I found out my ex cheated on me and knocked up the girl he cheated with. 

Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.

I try really hard not to be a hypocrite, I’m sure there’s times it’s happened but I genuinely can’t think of a time off hand. 

Describe a time you felt like a traitor.

I really don’t know. Again, i’m sure there’s been times, but I don’t remember any. 

Describe a time you felt like a hero.

I wouldn’t necessarily say “hero” but when I’m able to help people at work, and when my knowledge and skills benefits them. 

Describe a time you felt inhuman.

This last week. It’s easily one of the hardest things I’ve been through. I felt so detached from my family and I just didn’t care. 

Describe a time you felt like a failure.

This last week. I felt like I was failing as a mom, and that I couldn’t do anything right because I couldn’t even feed my son in the natural way I’m meant to as a female with mammary glands. 

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

Uh. Honestly the only thing that comes to mind is when i skipped a lease with my college roommate (the first time I went to college). It’s genuinely not that bad, but I can’t think of anything else hah. 

What are you proudest of?

My son, my husband, my degree/license. 

What’s your relationship with your family like?

With my husband and son, it’s great (now). With my moms side of the family it’s great as well, I talk to my mom every day, and my gramma and grampa every couple days. I’m also fairly close with my Uncle. My in-laws are pretty good too, my mother in law can get on my nerves but who’s doesn't, honestly hah! I have a decent relationship with my half-brother, Aunt and gramma (Nana) on my dads side, and my cousins. Literally the only one I have issues with is my father and his wife. 

What’s your relationship with religion like?

I think organized religion is a joke. I’m completely against it. I don’t personally believe in God/Jesus/whatever, but I do believe in afterlife and that there is such a thing as past lives and reincarnation. 

Talk about someone you’ve lost.

My grampy died when I was in 4th grade. He was an amazing man. He was very stoic and didn’t show his emotions much, but he always included me in whatever he was doing (fishing, camping, working in the yard, whatever it was). He showed his love in different ways, more with his actions than words. 

Talk about someone who abandoned you.

I think i’ve talked about my dad enough hah 

Talk about a desire you have that scares you.

To become a trauma nurse. 

What’s something you wish you were capable of?

I wish I was able to do more first-responder stuff. I have the ability, just not the time currently. 

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?

Becoming a trauma nurse hahah 

Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.

Doesn’t everyone wish they had been born into money?? 

Describe your worst heartbreak.

When my dads wife texted me and told me “youre a selfish bitch, and he would be better without you in his life” and he told me I was lying, even with the text proof. I was 14-15ish. That was the final straw, and when I stopped trying to have a relationship with him. 

Describe your worst disappointment.

When I was in nursing school and I failed the full body assessment the first time. I was anxious as fuck and over thinking everything. I technically passed based on points, but was asked to come back and re-do it once I had time to clear my head. 

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?

Taken the blame? No. Own up to your own damn mistakes. 

Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?

No, I take the blame for my own mistakes. 

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?

I don’t think so?? 

Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?

I hope not, but maybe. 

Have you ever self-harmed?

It’s been about 5 years since, but yes. 

Have you ever attempted suicide?

Attempted no, but had a plan, yes. 

Have you ever stolen something?

On accident when I was like 5 hahah We were in line at the grocery store, an you know they have all the little toys and candy and wtf ever at the check out lanes. Well I was looking at something and mom told me lets go, so I continued looking at it and followed her off. Mom realized, took me back inside to return it and apologize and the manager ripped my ass in front of the check outs. 

Have you ever cheated on someone?

No. 

Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes. 

Have you ever taken revenge on someone?

Nah, people have a way of ruining their own lives. 

Have you ever seriously considered killing someone?

Not had a plan to, but remember my ex threatening my dogs? Had he done it, i’d have attacked him. 

Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?

I don’t think so? 

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?

Yeah, I regularly experience things all the time. 

[theinquisitivej]

SteamHeart Episode 19 Reactions

Chapter 19: The Woman on the Zinc Mine

The final cover of SteamHeart is really something else - and yes, I’m going to be using it more for these posts as I go on.

You can listen to the full episode here.

         Having arrived in Missouri, the party make their way to the zinc mines where “Agent Z” resides. Abigail is uneasy as she assesses the fortifications, reminding herself of her time at Weirwood where, due to her position as one of Katherine’s most trusted seconds, protection and fortification of a small-scale settlement and its population was a daily concern that she became heavily involved with. Abigail knows what’s needed to keep a residence safe from those who would take advantage of isolated settlements cut off from the protection of densely inhabited civilisation, and the appearance of the yard in front of them doesn’t reassure her. They’re shown in by Jae-Hyun, a stoic gentleman who cuts a striking figure in his bowler hat. As he asks them not to get his boss too excited before introducing her, we see the bone-collecting, piano-playing, enterprising Tabitha for the first time in a long, long while. We see why Jae-Hyun said what he did when she steps out in the late stages of pregnancy, telling us that while Jae-Hyun may be rather serious and stern in character, he is nevertheless deeply caring and protective of the woman he works for.

         Abigail once again demonstrates her open affection for the people she forms connections with, being the first to greet Tabitha, immediately stepping forward to excitedly, but tenderly hug her friend who she hasn’t seen in ages. Tabitha tells her and the group that, while there are other mines here and there, she’s proud to say that hers is the source of most of the zinc that gets sent to the government. Hearing this and the way she discusses the state of things at this site she has taken responsibility for is impressive as hell, and another fine example of New Century continuously providing us with examples of inspiring women in positions of power who have a real aptitude for it. It’s also especially encouraging to learn that Tabitha has achieved all of this during her pregnancy. First, that’s an impressively short timescale for her to have set all this up. And second, I appreciate this story showing us a female character whose agency isn’t suddenly taken away once she’s pregnant. Tabitha had a goal in mind, and she was highly motivated to make it a reality; her pregnancy is obviously a big deal, and it will undoubtedly affect things moving forward, but it doesn’t change her drive or her capability, and that’s really cool to see.

         We get set up with something akin to a sidequest, though it’s a sidequest that aligns with the group’s main journey as they set out for Wind Doors to study and interact with. Tabitha’s running low on people to secure this place, and the supply line has been interfered with by groups who either want to profit off the zinc, or otherwise just cause trouble and have their way. She’s called for help multiple times, but nothing’s come of it. Tabitha suggests she show the group the local Wind Door, and then they can move on to Jefferson to request a garrison for backup. The problem, however, is that while Tabitha and her group have held out up till now, she’s weeks, possibly even days away from giving birth, and the crew of SteamHeart aren’t planning on leaving her, particularly James, as the only doctor at hand. What with this being fiction, I’m inclined to agree that odds are Tabitha will go into labour right as the group comes under attack.

         We move on to a section narrated by Jeremy; the group’s first encounter with a Wind Door. The journey of this sequence is powerful and compelling. Jeremy’s anticipation as he approaches a portal to another world, the manifestation of everything that drives him, is intensely felt as he describes the scene as if he were looking at the most beautiful painting. You get the impression that, even if he wasn’t recording his thoughts like this, this majestic scene of something singular and otherworldly being hidden in this obscure corner of the world would nevertheless be burned into his memory forever. The conversation about finding/making a ladder tall enough for someone to reach the portal makes it plain, however, that even if what would happen next did not occur, his dream of throwing himself at the portal and seeing what happens next was an impossibility. Jeremy chides himself for not thinking of bringing a ladder, but the truth is it would be unlikely for a 30 foot step-ladder to exist, making one would take time they don’t have, and, even if they did manage all of that, they still wouldn’t be able to chance someone inadvertently falling through the other side, presumably to their death, considering the height of the Wind Door. There’s too many factors at play which make the tantalising idea of touching this door to another world an impossibility. When Abigail begins to close the portal (looking absolutely striking as she does so with her billowing green coat and red hair as she channels her dormant powers, in an act that’s very akin to the most memorable Jean Grey moments), it pains Jeremy and the curious reader. The music combines with his narration to create a sense of something amazing happening, but at the cost of another amazing thing being taken out of this world forever. My favourite line is a simple one; as Abigail exclaims “I’m doing it!” with a great effort as she closes the portal, Matt Wardle’s delivery of Jeremy’s comment “And she really was” conveys the character’s recognition of his teammate’s achievement, and that, despite his disappointment at coming so close but falling short of his own goal, he is compassionate towards others and genuinely acknowledges what a feat Abigail is managing. The story near the beginning of SteamHeart in which the young Jeremy turns back home midway through his journey to a potentially wondrous sight for the sake of his friend told us that, for as much as Jeremy is intensely driven by his desire to see the magical and the indescribable, he does not put the safety and happiness of others before his own ambition. He demonstrates that again here, acknowledging the success that Abigail has achieved. Though it is hard not to feel some of his regret as he looks back at the site as they leave to get Tabitha back home, remembering the beautiful picture that was there a few moments ago, and now only seeing a place like any other. Its “out of date flag” shows just how forgotten by the world this place is, and how the Wind Door it once housed now has that same status of being a thing of the past.

         So yeah, no time to celebrate the portal being closed and thereby proving that this mission is doable and their struggles aren’t all for nought – Tabitha’s gone into labour! Luckily a doctor is at hand with James present, which very nearly wasn’t the case before the team showed up. So, with any luck, this should all go relatively smoothly and without any interruption, right?

…anyway, the team return to the mine and set Tabitha up in her bedroom. Hours pass, and gradually the room is reduced to just Tabitha and James as they head into a long night together. Harry enters, and asks to speak with Tabitha alone. Before James leaves, however, she intercepts him to ask a question which catches him off-guard; will he and Abigail get married one day? I mean, it’s definitely a question that’s been on shippers, er, I mean readers and listeners’ minds, so I’m just glad someone came out and asked it straight out. This scene is relayed via James’ narration, and in addition to the answer he gives Harry, we also get a glimpse of what’s been on his mind – how Abigail closed the portal on her own while he could do nothing, reinforcing the impression James has of him being “surplus to requirement” next to Abigail when it comes to their shared endowment. The pragmatic James is finding it difficult to come to terms with his inability to contribute in any way to a task of such great importance, and the good doctor seems to feel so much responsibility, whether it’s for lives that could’ve been saved if he had made different decisions, or for his patients, or for the condition he has been given. What good is this ability if it does nothing but hinder his skills as a doctor? All of these thoughts make a prospective relationship with Abigail difficult for James to envision, so he tells Harry no, thinking that his response has disappointed her. But…hmm. I’m not so sure.

         James leaves, and the role of narrator passes to Tabitha. She doesn’t have much of an idea what Harry would want with her, focusing on trying not to lash out when her next contraction comes around. Harry works her way to what she really wants to ask Tabitha, commenting on how she’s having this baby without a man around, how that’s not wrong and in fact really freaking brave, and finally tries to confirm her suspicions by asking Tabitha if she likes men, anticipating the answer to be no. The conversation that follows is sweet, wholesome, and just very healthy to hear. Tabitha plays the role of a really helpful schoolteacher – like, the kind of schoolteacher who should exist and should be teaching young people everywhere about the range of sexual orientations that exist and makes young developing people feel less awkward and less alone for feeling differently to heteronormative peers. Tabitha gently asks Harry if she’s feeling conflicted, not pushing her in any direction, but giving her the chance to air what’s been on her mind and in her heart.

         We listen to Harry as she reasons out what she’s been feeling, thinking that she’s expected to land a husband, and, if that was to be the case, then James fit the bill pretty well as someone she respects and who exhibits many of the qualities she likes in people, such as kindness, intelligence, and politeness. But even with all that on paper, the key ingredient of buzzing attraction isn’t there for her, unlike how it is with… well, when the conversation turns towards Abigail, and her pre-existing relationship with Tabitha, it becomes clear who Harry really has a thing for. Tabitha confesses that she and Abigail “spent a little time together” when they last saw each other, which, okay, is a surprise! Not that they would get together for a bit, as the way Abigail talked with Tabitha and thought about her, you could certainly see an attraction there. I guess I just never put two and two together and figured out that they might already have hooked up (and that explains Abigail’s hushed comments earlier on in the episode when she says that if she’d had known Tabitha was pregnant when they met, she would have done…something, differently).

         Anyway, Harry’s excited to hear Abigail likes boys and girls, and now says that yes, she really does have a crush on Abigail. Have I mentioned before that shipping can be so much fun in your favourite ongoing storylines with casts of lovable, fully formed characters? Well it is, and this is great, I love it. What I don’t love is the sad fact they go over next – that America’s current laws state that women aren’t allowed to marry other women. That, and the moment of tearful resignation Harry shows as she believes she can’t marry who she wants and must instead marry a man, are both heart-breaking. But fortunately, Tabitha is there to tell her that that’s not at all the case. In fact, there are other things she can do, either with herself or together with other women. Harry’s inquiring mind and aptitude for breaking difficult concepts down and understanding them as a series of mechanics drives her to ask Tabitha for guidance on being intimate with another person. A contraction comes at this moment, as Tabitha had expected, but instead of this making her hostile to Harry as she had feared it would, Harry holds her to support her through it, and when given an out when James comes back in to ask if she needs help, she reassures him and tells him to leave them alone for a little while longer. The music is calming as these two women talk, and we depart this scene, leaving the rest of the conversation to them as Tabitha continues to help Harry grow more comfortable with who she is and who she wants.

#The Inquisitive J #fiction #the new century multiverse #new century #new century multiverse #steampunk #alternate history #alternate universe #alternate history fiction #audio drama #fictional podcast #steamheart #the inquisitive j reviews

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Gone Girl 3

A/n: Smut 

Link to chapter 2 

Words: 3, 950

____________________

The first few days with Jody went smoothly. Jody went out of her way to make Anna feel comfortable. She had even got Anna to open up about what happened with Gabriel.

“You have every right to feel the way that you do. He should have never treated you that way. Making you feel inadequate was the worst thing for your relationship.”

Anna could only nod. Should couldn’t get any other words out. There wasn’t much else she could say.

“Well you can do what makes you happy now. Just give it some time. Clear your head.”

Jody said said a kind smile before getting up and going to start dinner. The knowledge of needing to call Sam and Dean was ever present but Jody wouldn’t do anything until Anna was ready.

Weeks passed without much excitement. Anna kept herself from even saying Gabriel’s name. The last thing that she wanted was for the archangel to be able to track her through prayer. One morning she sat at the table reading the newspaper when Jody came in from a late shift looking a little worried.

“You all right?”

Anna asked putting the paper down as Jody took off her coat.

“Yeah, some weird stuff if going on. It’s seeming like vampires or something. There has been more disappearances this week then I have had in years.”

Anna motioned to the paper.

“I was reading that and thinking the same thing. Do you have any idea where the nest could be?”

Jody sat down looking thoughtful.

“One of my deputies noticed a lot of activity around this one house on the other side of town. I know for a fact the people who lived in that house died years ago and had no children. Its just weird that people all of a sudden decide to show up and live there? Nah, red flags.”

Anna leaned back in the chair before standing.

“Come on, let’s go check it out. Maybe we can take off a few heads while we are at it.”

20 minutes later, Anna and Jody stood outside the house that was in question. Anna raised an eyebrow.

“Well this definitely looks suspicious. These vampires want to be found. I’m surprised they didn’t just throw out a welcome mat.”

Jody pressed her lips together.

“Want to go check it out?”

Anna smiled.

“Of course! I love killing these things. Well don’t I sound like a psycho.”

Walking into the abandoned house nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There were the typical spider webs, dust, and furniture that would make an antique picker cream his pants. The first few rooms held nothing that made Anna’s hunter senses stand on end. It wasn’t until there was noise coming from the basement that things began to turn for the worse.

Anna turned to Jody.

“It is always the basement.”

Right as she said that another noise came from the floor above them. Jody and Anna exchanged a look.

“You take the upstairs and I’ll take the basement.”

Jody said calmly. Anna frowned.

“Are you sure that you want to split up?”

Jody nodded.

“It will be fine. We both have this.”

Meanwhile….

Gabriel paced in the hotel room that he was trapped in with Cas. He wasn’t in any form of a good mood either. It had been weeks and there was not one sign of Anna. He hadn’t received a call, text, not even a prayer. If she had left him for good shouldn’t she at least give him something a little more concrete to go on? What if she was hurt or dead for that matter?

He had to shake those thoughts from his mind. They were causing Gabriel too much pain. The thought of his beautiful green eyed wife being dead was too much for him to handle. He had spent their entire relationship making sure that she was healthy. She hadn’t even had a little cold since the moment that Gabriel had fallen in love with her. If something was wrong whether it be illness or injury, Gabriel was using his grace to fix it.

Glancing around the room Gabriel was even more annoyed. Sam was messing on his computer trying to find any trace of his sister while Dean was busy eating pie straight from the tin. Gabriel rolled his eyes at the eldest Winchester. Their relationship was less than cordial. Dean was more than willing to tell Gabriel that he was to blame for his sister’s disappearance. Whether it be true or not Gabriel didn’t want to have the fact shoved down his throat. He was hurting enough with it as it was.

Cas meanwhile, sat like a statue starring blankly at the wall. Gabriel groaned before going back to his place by the window.

“Some excuse for an archangel you are. Heaven’s most deadly weapon and you can’t even find the woman you married. Heaven’s most deadly and terrifying weapon my ass.”

Dean said coldly. Gabriel looked up ready to smite Dean down but Sam stood.

“Dean don’t start!”

Sam’s voice showed that he was exhausted. He couldn’t handle listening to the archangel and his older brother bicker.

Cas meanwhile, didn’t appear to be listening. He was too busy keeping himself open to any prayers. Since Anna had left he too felt guilty. Being her closest friend, he should have known that something was wrong in her life. Was he really too busy and preoccupied that he didn’t notice the pain in her eyes when they were together or was it Anna was such a good actress that she could mask it even from him? Whatever it was it was eating at Cas horribly.

“Cas I need you.”

He sat instantly hearing that voice! It was the voice that he was dying to hear. He sat stick straight as Gabriel and the Dean looked at him.

“What is it?”

Dean asked. Cas stood holding a hand to his head.

“It’s her.”

“Cas, if you can hear me I need you now more than ever.”

Cas turned to Gabriel, who looked ready to jump him if he didn’t say what was going on.

“South Dakota. She’s with Jody.”

Both Cas and Gabriel vanished in the blink of an eye leaving Sam and Dean looking after them clearly annoyed.

Seconds later….

Cas stood in a run down almost dilapidated house. He looked to Gabriel at his side who looked as equally confused before Cas’ eyes landed on Anna sitting on her knees. He quickly walked over kneeling down to see Jody Mill’s bloody body in front of Anna who was covered in blood as well.

Her green eyes rolled up to him looking beyond thankful.

“Cas you came.”

She said in almost a whisper. Cas nodded reaching out touching Jody’s face to heal her. Jody started coughing as Anna helped her sit up.

“Of course I came. We’ve been looking for you for weeks! What are you two doing here….in this place?”

Jody coughed again before nodding at Cas.

“Thank you.”

Anna meanwhile, knew that the angel was waiting for an answer. She obviously hadn’t even noticed her very worried husband.

“This was a vampire nest.”

Right as Anna made the comment two remaining vampires came wondering into the room looking furious. They froze the moment they saw the company in the room. One looked to the other.

“Angels. I am not tangling with angels.”

It wasn’t until this moment that Anna realized that Gabriel was even in the room. She froze the moment that he walked forward. Her mouth fell seeing the person that she was trying to avoid but at the same time loved more than anyone go toward the monsters. One look at her husband told Anna everything that she needed to know. He was about to go full archangel. She could see the soldier in him now.

“Have you touched her? Is that her blood?”

Gabriel asked coldly. One vampire looked to the other. Neither wanted to tangle with a pissed off angel. One angelic touch could kill them. The cockier of the two looked at Gabriel with a glare.

“What does it matter to you angel? They are just mortals. There are plenty like them.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not just an angel. I’m the archangel Gabriel and that mortal you tried to harm is my wife.”

Gabriel was done messing with the vampires. They wouldn’t understand what damage they could have caused. He snapped his fingers leaving the vampires dead on the ground before turning. Anna was looking at him with wide eyes. He walked forward pulling Anna into his arms.

“Did they hurt you?”

Anna shook her head pulling away as Cas helped Jody up. Gabriel looked annoyed as he walked back to Anna’s side. She was clearly trying to avoid him and Gabriel wasn’t having it.

“No, this blood isn’t mine. I’m not hurt. Why are you here Gabriel?”

 Gabriel frowned.

 “I’ve been looking for you for weeks kid! Uh hello…married here.”

 Anna raised an eyebrow.

 “I figured that you would be too busy moping over your side pieces death.”

 Gabriel winced. The ice and venom in Anna’s voice made her sound eerily like her brother.

 “Uh no…not really. I was more worried about you.”

 Before Anna could respond the sound of wings got her attention. Gabriel turned to see Lucifer standing over the dead bodies of the vampires. He looked down at the stepping over the dead being like they were dirt under his shoe.

“Ah Gabriel there you are! And you must be Anna. I have to say I am pretty proud of you even though you are a human. Taking out that useless demi god with the colt. Very impressive my dear! If you are done with my little brother I would love to take you out for a drink.”

Anna raised an eyebrow finding herself stepping closer to Gabriel. Angry with him or not, she was not about to tangle with Lucifer. She was still angry with the archangel for turning Sam into a vessel. Gabriel meanwhile, growled possessively. This was the last thing that he would allow. No one would lay a hand on his wife especially not his brother.

His hand reached out wrapping around Anna’s. For a moment she considered pulling away. Anna stopped the moment she saw the rage in his golden eyes. She looked to Luci with a frown.

“I don’t think so. One archangel is enough.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

“So you two are good?”

Anna shook her head.

“Far from it.”

Lucifer nodded looking thoughtful. He tilted his head to the side with eyes full or mirth.

“Well time to fix that huh?”

He snapped his fingers and the next Anna knew she was in her old bedroom at the bunker. She quickly walked to the door trying to open it realizing the door was sealed shut.

“Mother fuck. He locked us in here.”

Anna had tried to get the door open with no success. With a groan she looked down automatically shocked to see herself dressed in her wedding dress. She spun around to see Gabriel dressed in the suite that he had work at their wedding. Gabriel looked as equally confused as Anna. He was looking down at his body with a completely surprised expression.

When he looked up seeing Anna looking exactly the way she did on their wedding day his mouth dropped. Gabriel thought she was beyond beautiful that day and it had been forever etched in his mind.

“Luci is a bastard.”

Anna grumbled. Gabriel tilted his head trying to keep himself from staring more but failed miserably. The dress hugged all of Anna’s curves perfectly.

“You still look beautiful.”

Gabriel said with a smile. Anna looked at her husband sadly.

“That day should have never happened.”

Gabriel looked honestly heartbroken at that. He stepped forward placing his hands on Anna’s bare shoulders.

“Baby please. I don’t know how much more I can apologize. I did you wrong! Beyond wrong! I didn’t cherish you the way I vowed. I’ve been a shitty excuse for a husband.”

When Anna pulled away Gabriel sighed before reaching out with his wings pulling her back to him.

“Please. Can’t we at least talk? Can’t we try to talk about our problems? I want to work them out.”

Anna looked completely shocked. Gabriel had never showed her his wings. He always seemed to be put off with the idea. Anna had assumed it was Gabriel’s fear of “ burning her eyes out” but here he stood with his wings wrapped around her cradling her gently.

“Gabe what are you…”

Before she could get the rest of her question out the archangel’s sweet tasting lips was on hers. Gabriel didn’t ease up on the kiss. He went from kissing her tenderly to being straight up hungry.  Anna tired to keep her eyes open as the electricity in the room flickered but the passion soon overtook her. She had forgotten that last time that she and Gabriel had kissed like this. As much as she wanted to deny it there was still so much passion between the two.

In the beginning it was all the time. Gabriel’s lips seemed to be permanently attached to hers.  Anna felt, however, when the novelty of being with a human wore off Gabriel only had time for a pop kiss. Making out happened few and far between.

When Gabriel pulled away his amber eyes were sparkling as he looked down into Anna’s green ones. Anna was panting as she placed a hand on his chest. She closed her eyes savoring the moment. Gabriel still tasted like the best candy in the world.

“Anna, please. I love you so much.  I know I have done you wrong. Please let me make it up. Sugar you have to love a begging archangel?”

He gave her an eyebrow wiggle, hoping that would win her over the way it used to. Anna looked down painfully.

“How do I know you won’t get bored with me again? I can’t keep doing this! I’m not going to.”

Gabriel slowly slid her wedding ring on her finger.

“Peach, this hell that we have been going through was the kick in the pants I needed to see that you are it for me. I won’t get bored again. Take me back and I’ll gain your trust back.”

Anna looked weak now. The tough act that she was trying to keep going was failing rapidly.

“I wanted to hate you forever but I can’t. “

Gabriel looked down sadly before pulling Anna into his arms. His normal goofy childish mood had faded and he looked serious now.

“I would understand if you don’t want to take me back. Just know that I’ll always love you. You’ll always be that one who got away. What do you know angels have those too.”

Anna sighed miserably as she turned away from the archangel. She didn’t want him to see her tears. John had always beat it in her head to never let a man see you cry. At the moment though she was about to sob. From being dressed in her wedding dress to the words Gabriel was saying it was all too much. Now here was the beautiful wedding ring that Gabriel had given her.

Gabriel froze when he heard her sob.

“Baby, come here.”

Anna didn’t fight Gabriel as he pulled her in his arms. She lay her head on his shoulder. Anna was thankful that Gabriel didn’t make a big deal over her crying. Given her emotional state she wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Instead he lovingly stroked her head.

“It’s all right sugar.”

He whispered softly before tilting her face to his.

He looked into her eyes momentarily before kissing her. Anna reached up placing her hand on Gabriel’s cheek. He moaned against her lips using his free arm to wrap around her waist. When his body was pressed against hers Gabriel still wasn’t pleased enough. His lips didn’t leave Anna’s as he pulled her to the bed.

Gabriel sat down pulling Anna onto his lap. He removed the suit jacket before laying her back smiling as he chest began to heave at his touch.

“I wish you could wear this dress all the time. It looks so beautiful on you.”

Anna smiled.

“Oh Gabriel stop with the sweetness. You know it’s not you.”

Gabriel smirked yanking her legs apart.

“Mhm. You deserve poetry from time to time though. Maybe I want to be tender with you. You should let me. Anna you impressed me with what you did to Kali. You shot her for us?”

Anna smirked.

“I didn’t really do it for us. I did it to make you suffer obviously I failed with that.”

Gabriel shook his head grinning again looking like a child at Christmas.

“No, you won princess. Like I said before this was the kick in the balls I needed to get my ass in gear. I know who I want now and its you. So sugar…will you marry me again?”

Anna reached up taking a hand full of Gabriel’s curls pulling his head closer to her. The archangel whimpered from the sudden pressure.

“Don’t you play me goldie locks I am very fragile right now.”

Gabriel gently removed her hand from his hair.

“No tricks. On my father’s holy magical kingdom I will never play you again! I want to be with you and us have our apple pie life. If you want to get back into hunting with your charming brothers I am totally down for that but I will be keeping you safe. I swear on all things I hold dear that I am devoted to you and our little love fest we have going on.”

Anna smiled.

“Than yes I will marry you…again.”

Gabriel looked gleeful at that snapping his fingers leaving both himself and Anna naked.

“Well time to consummate this marriage yet again. I have a lot of fun plans for us.”

He quickly pressed a kiss to her lips. Anna was surprised how Gabriel grabbed her at like an inexperienced teenager. Was he really that eager to please her that he had forgotten how to make love?

“Easy Tarzan.”

She said before pushing the archangel on his back. Gabriel looked up at her with glee filled eyes.

“I’m going to show you Tarzan.”

Gabriel said as Anna took his erection in her hands. His golden eyes winded.

“Oh princess this is exactly what I want!”

Anna wrapped her lips around his cock taking him in slowly inch by inch. Gabriel’s cock tasted like the cherry lollipops he seemed to live on. Anna sucked gently for a few moments mentally smiling at the thought of Gabriel moaning like a whore beneath her.

“Oh cupcake you still got it.”

Gabriel moaned even louder when her hands cupped his balls. How he was still holding onto reality was a mystery.

“Anna I need to make love to you. I need inside now.”

Anna slowly let his cock fall from her mouth as she leaned back on her heels looking at her husband’s naked body. Gabriel was right about one thing…a begging archangel was a wonderful change. If she could make him beg like this often it would be a hot change up in the bedroom.

“Sugar what are you doing?”

Gabriel asked as he opened his golden eyes to look to his wife. When her body left his Gabriel had a moment of fear that she had left. When he saw her sitting before him looking his body over Gabriel smiled again.

“See something you like?”

Anna rolled her eyes.

“If I said no I would be a damn liar.”

Her eyes roamed from the muscles in his shoulders and chest down to his very obvious erection that lay against his stomach as his boy heaved with anticipation. Gabriel smiled innocently.

“Well come get me then.”

Anna didn’t need any more encouragement to get on top of Gabriel. He held his cock up as she lowered herself onto him. Both hissed at the intrusion. Had it really been that long that they had made love together that they had forgotten what their union felt like? Neither would admit it to the other but it had been. It had been too long and it left the archangel wondering how the hell he had ever been bored with the fiery woman on top of him? The only conclusion that he could come up with was he had grown up a lot in that past few weeks and now he knew where he belonged.

The moment Gabriel began to rock his hip and fill her, Anna cried out. When she closed her eyes Gabriel’s hand squeezed her thigh.

“No. Keep them open. I want you to watch me.”

Anna’s green eyes fluttered open locking with Gabriel’s. He kept rocking his hips enough to bounce her on his cock leaving a delicious slapping sounds as their bodies met. T

“Anna I love you.”

Gabriel managed to get out as he reached up flipping their position so that he was on top of her. Anna threw her head back against the pillow as Gabriel began to rock into her.

“I love you.”

She moaned back as the headboard began to crash against the wall. Never had she and Gabriel been this loud! Anna was never more thankful that her brothers and Cas weren’t home. She would never live this down!

Gabriel’s speed increased as snapped his fingers. The pleasure Anna was feeling intensified many times over.

“That’s it sugar. Do you like it when I fuck you and use my grace too?”

Anna could only nodded as her orgasm washed over. She had never felt more fucked in her life as Gabriel came into her hard. Both chuckled when all of the power in the room went out. Gabriel pressed a kiss to her forehead before falling to his side and cuddling their nude bodies together.

“Boy you really can fuck.”

Anna said with a giggle. In the dark she couldn’t see the grin on the archangel’s face. If she could she would have seen a grin like he had been given an eternities supply of the candy of his choice.

“And to think you doubted me.”

Gabriel with with a cocky tone. Before Anna could make a response there was a knocking on the door. Both Anna and Gabriel jumped up. They had been under the impression that they were alone in the bunker…apparently not! Anna quickly got out of the bed and went to the door that was clearly unlocked now.

“Who is it?”

She asked calmly.

“Dean. Now that you two are done fucking and have blown all the god damn power out of the house you need to get out here. Luci brought our fucking dad back and he wants to see you.”

Anna felt her mouth drop.

“D-dad is back?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I would joke about that. Get decent and get out here.”

Dean said sharply before turning with his flash light and storming down the hall….

_____________

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