#I have a lot of feelings about crabdad and Karkat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightlight-stardust-and-rain · 4 years

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I fucking NEED to write a Homestuck reincarnation AU with the ancestors. So I'll do it.

Tbh it'll be mostly our favorites hemoanarchist (gods do I love this word) ; The Signless, the Dolorosa, the Psiioniic and the Disciple. Because I love them, that's why. (let's say the Psiioniic died with the others bc if he's not dead he can't be reborn. He was still the helsman but for a shorter time)

So at first I was thinking "they could be reincarnated as Karkat, Sollux, Nepeta and Kanaya" but then I realized that there would be no Karkat, Nepeta, etc... And I love them. So nope nope nope. So I decided that they would be reborn six or seven sweeps before the beta trolls, with the same sign, same blood color and pre-scratch names. They're raised by the same lusus as their descendants. Now there's three ways to do it. 1) everyone remembers. 2) nobody remembers but they have feelings and dreams. 3) only one of them remember. The 3 would be interesting and sad ! Lots of angst. But as much as I love angst, I couldn't write it to save my life. I'm just overwhelmed by the "I want them to be happy". The 2 would be very interesting to write ! Slow burn and pining and also angst bc "why the fuck am I dreaming about my wrists burning ???". Also "I feel I loved you for so long but we literally just met ???". Nice. But sadly, I'll write the 1 ! Because I want to.

So. They're hatched like seven sweeps before their descendants. At first, they live their life quietly. Since Alternia is... Well, a whole planet, they never met when they were young (that would be too easy. They'll meet way later). They think they are alone :( cue angst. But their life isn't so bad. Kinda. Signless (and holy shit he has a lusus ! With his blood color ! He misses his mother but he's happy to have a lusus : he never had one before so) learns to shout loudly with Crabdad (lol) and doesn't go out much (bc you know mutant) but when he does everyone he mets is baffled bc he's super nice ?? He's like those people who smile at you on the streets and even if you know you'll never see him again you fell a little pale something. Half of his neighborhood got a little pale crush on him (he's totally oblivious because guess what ! He's still in love with Psii and Disciple). He studies psychology and other alien civilisations online bc he thinks it's interesting. That's all. He gives advices to people (he got a blog. He's pretty famous for his advice ! Both because he's wise and because his advices is always pacifist). He thinks he's in a other universe (again !) and then he discovers the story of the Signless (by sheer luck, since the story has been erased everywhere by the Condesce) and he's just baffled because wow, he's thousands of sweeps in the future ! Wow ! And also because "does that means that the Condesce is the same fucking Condesce that killed me/us ? WHEN WILL SHE DIE". The Psiioniic lives with his bipolar lusus (nothing new, he' s bipolar himself) and is the best hacker of all Alternia (come ON, of course he is !). Every goldblood knows him, there's a rumor (that nobody takes seriously) that he's the reincarnation of the Psiioniic ! (every time Psii hears this rumors he laughs so hard he cries. It's just so... So funny) he uses his skills for hacking more or less everything, subtly attacking the Condesce (nothing major he knows he can't win), fucking with highbloods (and if he specifically targets those cerulean that act like pirates, those indigo with bows, those violets orphaners, that's nobody's business) and search for the others three, because despite thinking he is alone, there's still a spark of hope (honestly, if we're being realist, he probably would have found them in one or two sweeps since he's really good. But that would be too easy ! So no). The Dolorosa is not in the caverns (and is thankful for that, because after a lifetime outside, she isn't ready to go back to this claustrophobic darkness where she would search and never find a hint of candy red). She does clothes. She's very good ans even does clothes for highbloods. She's both respected and feared. There are rumors about her, rumors of white light and stains of cobalt and violet blood on her lipstick. But those are only rumors, right ? It's strange for her to be this young, but it's also good. The Disciple lives in the forest, with her lusus. She's the best huntress ! Tbh she's a bit of a cryptid. People talking about the beast in the woods. Most olive bloods knows it's her ; she's not the first olive to live in the woods after all. She tries to find the remaining signlessists (is that how it's written ?) to 1) check if what they teach is really what Signless taught, because she knows how cults can be and 2) if they still have the right idea, maybe join them. Maybe not. She's not exactly a signlessist, after all.

Let's say it's a no game AU because I don't want them to die. Also, to be clear, I ship Psii/Signless/Disciple as in Psii/Signless + Disciple/Signless. I don't really ship Psii/Disciple, I see them as... Very good chaotic friends with blackflirting, could be pale or black or red but have this sort of "ewww" reaction about dating each other so no.

When they're seven sweeps, their lusus brings home a wiggler that looks exactly like them (everyone reacts differently : Disciple squeals because Nepeta is so cute ! Psiioniic look at Sollux like... What ? Is ? This ? Another Captor disaster ? In this house ? We're doomed. Dolorosa is surprised but well. She already raised a child, and this time her lusus will help. Signless is shocked. Really. He stays silent for hours and maybe cries a little. After a while they all figure out that they're their descendants - that leads to a "wait but if this is my descendant... Am I biologically my own descendant ??" confusion but eh). They're all very fucking surprised but well.

Nepeta grows up with her big Sister Meulin and their shared lusus. She never really understood that having a big sister was weird until she met Equius. After all, three of her friends also had siblings ! She loves her big sister ; Meulin is clever and nice and pretty and strong and she wants to be like her when she grows up ! But sometimes her big sister looks at the red blood of the beasts they kill with sad eyes, sometimes she draws a symbol Nepeta doesn't knows, she never kills bees, she has a lot of respect for the jades, and she hates being alone. Her sister hates loneliness more than anything. Sometimes, even with sopor her sister wakes up crying about people she doesn't knows. But her sister is the best of all. And when she tells Nepeta stories of love and equality, Nepeta listens, and understands.

Sollux grows up with his annoying big brother Mituna. They have this sibling rivalry (some trolls think it's blackflirting - ewww). His brother is the best hacker of Alternia and Sollux thinks he's very cool (even if he will never admit it). Sometimes his brother shakes his hands and legs for hours mumbling strange things (still moving still moving still alive not trapped not a helsman she's not here I'm not here) and touches the back of his neck, as if he expected something to be here. Some days his brother flinches just seeing pink. He spends days searching people online - Sollux thinks it's kinda stupid ; nobody has blood that red. His brother wears a necklace with a symbol that isn't his. He has three sharpies with three colors - Sollux expected yellow and blue and red but those are bright red and olive and jade. Sometimes he draws on his hands with those sharpies - always the same symbols. Sometimes he wakes up screaming and he talks in his sleep - about ships, about pink, about blue arrows and bright red blood and someone that was everything. Sollux doesn't really understands. His brother is sad half of the time, but it's okay, because Sollux isn't better. But he wouldn't have it any other way (he sure would like to do without the voices and the bipolarity and his brother's depression but we can't have everything)

Kanaya thinks her big sister Porrim is very wise. Maybe a bit too much for her age. Sometimes her sister seems very old. Porrim is beautiful ; the prettiest troll Kanaya has ever seen really, but there's a old sadness deep in her bones that's always here. Her big sister always hated the ocean. Most trolls feared it (because of the seadwellers) but her big sister hated it. She had an odd look on her face every time she saw a spider and never wore anything with blue or violet or pink. Her sister had a sad smile when she helped her to do her red skirt. Her sister is wonderful. Almost more like a mother to Kanaya than their actual mother. When Kanaya was little, she told Porrim so. Porrim laughed very hard and maybe cried a little, and Kanaya doesn't remember her answer (I have only one child, little sister, and it isn't you).

Karkat thinks his big brother Kankri was someone else, before he was his big brother. He sees many things on him that shouldn't be here. He sees his big brother rubbing his wrists sometimes, and flinches every time Karkat grabs them (Karkat does it because of that ; he wants his brother to know that he doesn't have to be afraid). His brother can't cook meat, because the scent of burned meat makes him gag and cry and rub his wrists harder. His brother never does anything to the little beehive on their house - he says he likes bees. His brother loves meowbeasts, like Karkat's olive friend. His brother believes in rainbow drinkers - it's strange. Rainbow drinkers doesn't exist after all ! When he was very little, Karkat thought that Kankri was a coward - he never fought anyone and was always talking about peace and equality and love ! Lame. But then when he was four sweeps he told his brother that he wanted to be a threshecutioner and Kankri suddenly looked very afraid. He explained him things ; about their blood, about the empress, about the culling, about equality. After that, Karkat decided that Kankri was cool in a very strange manner, and that peace and equality andd love wasn't that bad after all. Karkat thinks that his brother is one of those heroes we never talk about, and nobody remembers them because they did heroics things without hurting anyone or killing monsters. He thinks that being like his big brother would be nice. He knows he has anger problems, he tries to deal with it (it helps that he isn't the only one, with Sollux being bipolar and Nepeta being autistic). His brother helps him with his quadrant confusion, when he says he has a pale crush on Kanaya but he also has a crush on Nepeta and Sollux but it's like on all quadrants ! (yup I ship them all) his brothers laughs and tells him about his own history with his lovers and how they were everything to him without really being in a quadrant. It... Slightly help (Karkat still thinks his crushes are unrequited. Fool).

Those four little trolls grows up with their lusus and someone else, and it changes little things. Nepeta begins to write books of romance and adventure and she tells stories to those who wants to hear them. Sollux knows he can count on his friends and his brother ; he doesn't have to bear everything alone. Kanaya knows that if she doesn't wants to go to the caverns, her big sister will help her. She doesn't have to be an adult before really being one. Karkat is a pacifist and thinks his shouting skills are actually very useful to scold people (he isn't wrong). He wants to deal with conflicts without violence or blood spilled (especially not his !!!). He's working on his anger. It's hard, but he isn't alone. He told his closest friends about his blood color : Sollux Nepeta and Kanaya (he wanted to tell Gamzee as well but Gamzee can't keep a secret).

Honestly the reunion between the ancestors would be very emotional of course. Like at this point Karkat and Kanaya would totally be moirails and Sollux, Karkat and Nepeta would be dating (after a long chat about the quadrant thing they decided to say fuck the quadrant system). So they would like meet in person and their big brothers/sisters would go with them but like... Just to make sure they're alright you know (alternia is dangerous after all :/). And HERE'S the emotional reunion I guess. I won't write it, I don't know how to. But you see.

My main idea was a Reincarnation AU, then it became "Karkat, Sollux, Nepeta and Kanaya growing up with their ancestors but not as their ancestors and noticing strange things about their siblings". Hope you like it, because I sure do !

#homestuck #homestuck au #the signless #the sufferer #the psiioniic #the disciple #the dolorosa #karkat vantas #nepeta leijon #sollux captor #kanaya maryam #reincarnation au #Pale KarKan #solkat #karnep #suffpsii #Dripping stardust

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riverboundao3ff · 4 years

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Riverbound, Chapter 21

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you can’t stop thinking of that video John showed you that one time with the human gamer yelling “CAPTAIN! LOOOOOK!” even though this is very much real life and there is a fucking enormous pirate ship barrelling right at you.

You barely have your sickles out before Vriska comes barging out of her cabin in full pirate ensemble, sword strapped to her waist and fangs bared. “Eridan, take the lead with me! Aradia, Terezi, and Karkat follow. Try not to get yourselves killed. Micah, up to the crow’s nest and see what the enemy is doing. Feferi, keep us at full clip in a circle.”

“I’m not a very good captain!” Feferi yelps as she almost snaps the wheel in half.

“Don’t worry about it, the 8rigantine’s been through some serious shit. She can take a rookie at the wheel!”

Micah zaps up to the crow’s nest with the eyepiece and trains it on the enemy ship. Despite your bloodpusher hammering away in your chest cavity, your feet carry you over to Aradia and Terezi, both grinning ear-to-ear like the maniacs they are. Both are amazing fighters, and you are… very small. Small, and not very strong.

If Crabdad could see you right now you know the old guy would shit himself on the spot.

“Why am I here,” you mutter, gripping your sickles for all they’re worth. “Fuck, fuck, fuck--”

“Shouldn’t Feferi be giving the orders?” Eridan mutters to Vriska, scowling.

Vriska sneers back at him. “My ship, my rules. If you don’t like it you can swim back to shore.”

“I’ll throw you overboard first, bitch.”

“Good to see some things never change,” Aradia snickers, but you can’t bring yourself to rib Eridan for his black crush as you watch the other ship pull right up against the 8rigantine.

“What’s it look like?” Terezi asks.

“Big. Probably one-and-a-half times the size of the 8rigantine…” You trail off as you see the hostages on board and do a quick count. “There’s about fifteen lowbloods on board. Most of them are rusts and bronzes. I see one gold.”

“A psionic?”

“Yep.”

“Dibs,” Aradia calls.

“He’s all yours,” you mumble, beginning to regret being hatched.

Well, it’s too late to back out now. Aradia lays out the plank with her telekinesis and sends a massive shockwave across to the other ship before the terrified hostages can so much as try to rally together.

“Aradia! Don’t hurt them!” Micah wails in protest.

“Sorry!”

She doesn’t look very sorry, but Vriska and Eridan are already charging across the plank together with fearsome battle cries, Terezi right behind them with swords drawn and Aradia bringing up the rear. From the crow’s nest, Micah yells something about the violetblood captain being in his cabin.

“Oh, I am so getting grounded for this,” you tell nobody in particular, and then you bound across the plank in four quick strides, ignoring the dark, churning waters below, and fling yourself into the fray.

Some bronzeblood takes a swing at you the second your feet hit the deck, but you can tell her bloodpusher really isn’t in it when she scrambles back as you knick her cheek with one of your blades. You dodge around a pair of unarmed rustbloods, sweep the feet out from underneath another bronze, and end up back-to-back with Terezi.

Not too long ago you would have been losing your mind at the thought of fighting alongside the girl you crushed on for a pretty sizable amount of your miserable existence, but at the moment you kind of want to smack her upside the head for letting Vriska drag you guys into this. “Where’s your crazy-ass moirail?”

“Looking for our target! Micah said he’s in his cabin,” she yells over a rustblood girl’s furious screeches as Terezi is able to deflect every blow.

You swipe at a boy who tries to lunge for your arm. “Well I wish she’d hurry--”

A shockwave knocks your flat on your ass before you can finish that sentence. Your ears ring, and you roll over with a groan to see Aradia and the goldblood psionic circling each other, both crackling with invisible energy.

“Back off! Back!” the psionic shrieks, blasting yellow sparks at Aradia. “He’ll kill us all if we lose the session!”

“Nobody’s dying today,” Aradia tells him calmly.

“What?!”

“Just keep fighting. We’re here to help.”

Some of the other hostages obviously overheard the whole thing, because you see several stop circling a hissing Eridan to turn and stare at her. None of them have even tried to attack him. He uses the opportunity to break free and roundhouse the psionic into the mast, knocking him out cold and sending cracks up the wood.

A nearby zap alerts you to the cavalry’s arrival. “Eridan!”

“He was attacking Aradia-!”

“Micahlookout!”

The mast splinters apart at the base and comes down through the deck, before toppling over towards your alien friend. They teleport out of the way just in time, reappearing to grab the unconscious goldblood and disappearing again.

The bronzeblood boy you’ve been swatting at scrubs furiously at his ganderbulbs. “What the-- did I just-?”

“Yeah, they do that,” you explain.

“I wanna go home.”

“Same.”

The sound of glass breaking has everybody jumping back as Vriska and the violetblood dude come tumbling out of the cabin window, screaming and clawing each other up with no mercy whatsoever. Serket’s metal arm is making progress in tearing a gash in the violetblood’s side, but he’s still way stronger than her and just as angry.

“You fucking bitch! This isn’t how you play the game!” he snarls, kneeing her in the gut so hard you hear something snap.

She spits blue blood into his face. “This isn’t a game anymore.”

He kicks her off him and springs to his feet, only for a blast of energy to carve a perfect hole through the center of his chest before he can so much as cuss her out again. There’s no blood, no bits of flesh dangling down into the gap. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Eridan lower his rifle, brows drawn together in concentration.

You stare in shock as Vriska kicks the still-standing corpse overboard.

The following splash is the only sound to be heard for the next couple of moments. You and Micah make eye contact and stare at each other for a little bit. Eridan and Vriska high-five and start ushering the hostages across the plank to the 8rigantine. Aradia just shrugs and helps a bronze girl with a bad knee to her feet so they can go, guiding Terezi along with her other hand.

“Well, that was quick,” you mumble, making your way over to Micah.

They don’t show any outward signs of distress, but the way their gaze doesn’t focus on anything in particular once you both make it to the other side tells you everything you need to know. You want to throw Serket overboard as well; for fuck’s sake, she knows humans are fragile about these sort of things!

They look over at you. “Guess that’s one way to do it.”

“Yeah.” You look out at the horizon, where a pod of skywhales are surfacing to breathe. “I’ll be honest. This rebellion stuff is way less fun than I thought it was gonna be.”

“Me too. Wanna get out of here once we get the hostages back to shore?”

Oh, fuck yes. “Sure. Can we get some of your weird human food?”

“Ask Dave, my guy. I’m broke as hell.”

“Fine.”

You wait impatiently as Micah helps the others down to the beach once the 8rigantine makes it to shore, but you can’t help but feel a surge of warmth when you see the dawning realization on the former prisoners’ faces when they realize that they’ll be going home. You’re smiling as a few of the younger kids grow brave enough to give Micah hugs, which is understandable given that the alien is very soft and huggable. It’s no surprise to you that they’ve managed to land in somebody’s diamond.

“Nothing like trauma to help bring people together,” they say as you watch the group walk off together towards town. “One of them said that they’re gonna make a group chat and call it ‘Hostage Gang’.”

Everybody gets a good chuckle out of that, and most of the tension leaves as you guys head back to Vriska’s hive. Terezi and Aradia start arguing about what blood caste has the thickest skull bone, with Terezi in favor of seadwellers and Aradia insisting it’s the indigos.

Micah bumps your arm. “Ready to go?”

“Yep.”

“Cool. Lemme grab my backpack.”

They zap away and are back in the span of two seconds, backpack slung over their shoulder. You have to tell yourself not to stare, even if you’re still definitely not used to your weird alien friend’s wacky spacetime powers.

Vriska’s face falls. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna bring Karkat to Earth to hang out. I’ll be back soon,” Micah tells her.

“... Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Aw, missing your lusus already?” Eridan taunts, before hightailing it back up the path to Vriska’s hive with a furious pirate girl on his heels. Terezi takes off after them with a shriek of delight, with Feferi begging them not to start a fight and Aradia waving back at you as she pelts sand at the back of Eridan’s head.

“Good god,” you mutter.

“Love those assholes,” Micah says, every word laced with affection. They hold out their hand, and with a lot less caution than you used to, you take it.

In the blink of an eye, the both of you are outside Dave’s apartment building with the sun going down behind the skyscrapers in the west. It’s hot as fuck, even for you, and teleporting never fails to make you a little dizzy.

You look up and down the alleyway. Cool, no other humans around.

Taking a running start, you kick off the dumpster underneath the fire escape and grab on to the last rung of the rusty ladder. You pull yourself up with a grunt and start hiking on up to the top floor, concentrating on the horizon to calm down your tilting vision. A bang of boot against metal lets you know Micah is right behind you.

“Why don’t you just teleport up?” you ask.

“Do you want me to take you up?”

“No. It makes me dizzy.”

“Sorry, dude.” They yank off their hoodie with a huff. “I need the exercise.”

“Don’t let Equius hear you say anything like that. For my wriggling day last sweep he gave me an exercise regime and video-called me to personally ensure that I was doing it. It was fucking terrible. Every time I see a stretching mat my ass clenches up so hard I taste shit.”

“... Do you think he’ll come around?” they ask.

You snort. “Who knows. I like the guy, don’t get me wrong, but… he’s pretty set in his ways about the authority of the Empire and the hemospectrum. If Nepeta can’t get through to him, nobody can.”

“Eridan decided he wants to change. So did Vriska.”

You bite your tongue before you can tell Micah that they unwittingly became the lusus-figure of those two jackasses the second they waltzed into their lives. “Yeah, well. Equius is a whole other hoofbeast, pun intended.”

By the time you reach the top level, your thighs are burning, you’re out of breath, and Micah has to brace themselves on their knees while sucking in air like an upright mechanical cleaning device. The usually pale skin is flushed red, and they’re making absolutely no attempt to cover themselves.

All humans have red blood, dumbass. Get over yourself. “How come you can go for three hours straight on Just Dance but get winded going up a few flights of stairs?”

“Man, shut up. You’re breathing heavy, too,” they wheeze.

“Barely.” You pull out your palmhusk and shoot a quick text to Dave, telling him to check the fire escape. Your palmhusk is barely back inside your sweatpants pocket before the window you and Micah are under slides open.

A messy head of blonde hair pokes out, and your gastric tract does a flip when a smirk lifts up the corners of Dave’s mouth. “Two aliens, chillin’ on my fire escape, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay.”

“I regret ever letting you in on the incredible gift that awaits this world that is Vine,” Micah sighs. “All those iconic seven-second videos, all those memes that have yet to define Gen Z as a culture… and some greasy millennial Texas kid gets the first crack at it?”

“Micah. Mickey. Mickaroonie. Gen Z was born at the start of 1995. I was born in 1996. I barely made it, but I made it. Slipped right in there like the intruder through Annie’s window, RIP Michael Jackson. Vine is my birthright, same as yours.”

“It will be your birthright.”

“What the fuck is a Vine?” you demand. Stupid humans and their stupid human culture. You still have difficulty believing that their planet is divided up into thousands of different sectors, each with their own laws and languages and governments. How come they just can’t pick one thing and go with it?

“Hush up and get inside, Karkles, both of you are letting all the cold air out,” Dave drawls, backing away from the window so you and Micah can hop in.

You do so and almost immediately eat shit when you land on a pile of comic books that slip out from underneath your feet. “Fuck!”

“Keep it down, bro, the walls are thin.” Dave chucks an empty juice bottle into the trash can across the room. “Thin as a rin-tin-tin, gotta keep on silencin’, can’t let the haters in from the world that keeps on burnin’--”

“If you shut up we’ll tell you about the rebellion that’s happening on Alternia. Past Alternia, that is,” you offer.

That gets his attention. He turns to you, brows drawing tightly together. “A revolution? On your hellhole of a planet? Isn’t that, I dunno, really frickin’ risky? You’re not in danger, are you?”

“Not in my time period, dummy,” you say, crossing your arms to block out the surge of warmth inside of you that has nothing to do with the Texas heat. He cares about your safety. “It’s like, ten sweeps ago? Fifteen? I dunno, Micah’s the one who’s actually in it.”

“Yeah… I don’t know, either. Alternian measurements of time are confusing. But yeah. Me and a bunch of my friends are gonna overthrow the government,” Micah explains.

“Hell yeah, stick it to the man. But, like, be careful.”

“I will. Time shenanigans are kind of my thing.”

“Can we get food now?” you demand.

“Hell yeah we can.” Dave glances behind him, but there’s nobody there. “Yeah… let’s see, Bro’s not gonna be back until Saturday, so we’re good.”

Micah glances over at the calendar on the wall and frowns. It’s Tuesday. You’re not sure what Tuesday is in relation to Saturday, but they don’t seem happy about it.

The three of you end up sneaking around downtown Houston until you locate a McDonald’s. It’s weird, how much safer you feel on Earth in comparison to Alternia. These aren’t your people, and this isn’t your planet, and yet when a group of teenagers pass under the tree you and Micah hide in while Dave goes inside to order you don’t even flinch. It helps that the sun has gone down and you know that humans can’t see in the dark.

“So…” they say, eyeing you thoughtfully. “Do you want me to leave you guys alone? You know, city lights, fast food, two teenagers sitting together under the stars…”

FUCK. You slap at them with a furious hiss. “No! I-- what, no! Who told you? Was it Sollux? It was fucking Sollux.”

“It wasn’t Sollux. You’re pretty obvious, dude,” they remark.

You scrub your face with your hands. “I… he’s just so great, which is stupid because he pisses me off, and he’s an alien, and it’s just impossible. A-And he’s human-heterosexual!”

“Hey. Look at me.”

You look at them.

They smile at you, and your racing bloodpusher calms as you remember that this person is one of the few you can trust with your life. “No relationship is ever easy. You know this. But what you don’t know is that people always find ways to come together. My moirail is an oliveblood assassin, and she’s easily one of the top three things that’s ever happened to me.”

You can’t help it: you smile a little. “What are the other two things?”

“Rice bowls at Chipotle. Meeting you guys.”

“You’re a sappy fuck,” you tell them, even as you snort into the crook of your elbow.

“I sure am, hotshot. Oh, hey, here’s Dave--”

“--eeeeeEEEEEE here it is! Help me up,” a familiar voice announces. You look over the branch you’re stretched out on and reach down to help Dave up while Micah grabs the bags of food from him. His palm is just as warm and sweaty as yours, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Once everybody is settled in and munching away on shitty, delicious human food you break out the big guns. “Micah has a moirail.”

“Which one is that?”

“They have a girlfriend. Ew, can’t believe I’m resorting to highblood slang.”

That gets his attention. “Oh, real shit? Is she hot?”

“Yes, Dave. She is hot.”

“What’s she like?”

“Kind. Shredded as all hell. Loves sappy romance novels. Lowkey murders people for a living. Gets embarrassed easily. Like, I’ll say something like ‘I’m gonna shooshpap the anxiety right out of your soul, honey-bunches’ and she absolutely loses her goddamn mind--”

You shriek and slam your hands over your ears, trying to not blush and give yourself away. “No, no, noooooooooo, Micah I’m under nine sweeps old please-!”

“I don’t get it! Why is talking about feelings so sexy?” they yell, throwing their hands up while Dave loses his mind. “Damn! I touched my friend’s cheek the other night ‘cause he was messed up about my ribs being broken and he just about exploded.”

“Slut,” you wheeze.

“Your ribs are broken?” Dave stops laughing and starts poking at the other human. “What? Are you okay? How did you even climb this tree?”

“I’m fine now, buddy, Alternian medical tech is pretty great,” they assure him, ruffling his hair as he swats at them.

“Wack. One time I was in the ER ‘cause I needed stitches and the nurse didn’t even numb me up, she just frickin’ went for it. Big-ass needle, big-ass thread, screaming six-year-old, I think I scared the whole McFrickin’ clinic half to death--”

You want to hear everything about Dave’s bravery in the face of a mediculler, but before you can ask for more details a beam of bright light hits Micah right in the face, making them reel back with an arm thrown over their face.

“What are you kids doing up there, huh?” a deep voice calls.

You look down and almost shit yourself.

Underneath the tree are four fully-grown adult males, all big and with guns strapped to their belts (seriously, why the fuck do humans run around with so many weapons on them when they’re so stupid?) and wearing blue uniforms.

Oh, shit. Dave told you to never trust the ones with the blue uniforms.

“We’re eating McDonald’s in a tree, officer,” Micah explains cheerfully.

“Can I ask why?” The one in the front glares up at you. You shrink back into the foliage as much as you can. Dave grabs your hand, squeezing tightly, and you squeeze back.

“Why not?”

“Can I see some I.D?”

“No. We’re not breaking any laws. This is public property.”

You stare in disbelief as Micah pulls out a fry and munches on it without a care in the world. Were they really not afraid? Did humans just… not fear their authority figures?

They can teleport. Of course they’re not afraid, you remind yourself.

“How many of you are up there?” another one asks.

“Three.”

“Are any of you armed?”

“No, sir.”

“Can you come down, please?”

“No, thanks. We’re fine where we are.”

“You guys want a cheeseburger? The lady who took our order gave me an extra,” Dave offers. “It’s got onions, though. Onions are nasty.”

The one farthest to the left says something into his walkie-talkie. Micah grins.

You know that grin. “What are you--”

“Hey, officers! Wanna see something cool?” they yell. “Watch this!”

They push off the branch they’re leaning on and lunge towards you and Dave. You barely have time to yelp before they’re grabbing your arm and zapping you guys out of there.

Delighted peals of laughter fills the whole apartment as you land face-first into Dave’s bed. You spit out a dirty sock that somehow ended up in your mouth and shove them off the end of the mattress, but you’re laughing too. You’ve never seen anything like that.

Dave looks over at you, gorgeous red eyes twinkling behind his shades and a big smile lighting up his respiteblock, and just for a moment, everything is perfect.

#homestuck #riverbound #hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim trolls #pesterquest #Dave strider #Karkat vantas #c21 #the guardian #mspa reader

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hhhhhzsskksz · 4 years

Text

Eridan leaves the door open. It’s oddly comforting, the stretch of light from the hallway like an outstretched hand, a tether connecting you to the troll who saved your life.

The walls of the room are rounded by legume-sack chairs. You’re disconcerted to find that they lack the familiar lumpiness and poking of a sack stuffed with legumes. When you touch one, it gives way under your hand like a sponge, enveloping the tips of your fingers in yielding gelatinous material. You withdraw your hand like you had been been bit.

One wall is made of hard green cartilage like the surface of a telegrub. There’s a shelf stacked with movie discs, and even with a conspicuous lack of mode to play them, you pore through the titles. For a while, you sit on the soft floor, a distance away from the unfamiliar not-legume sacks, surrounded by a rising barricade of CD-disc containers.

Seeing as they’re Eridan’s, it comes as no surprise to you that the movies are mostly a mixture of romcoms and dramatic historical war dramas. You set the latter aside with delicate disinterest and start constructing a stack of Reesee Wither filmography, fondly reading over the blurbs of familiar films and excitedly examining the covers of more obscure ones.

Even with the faces of glamorous Alternian moviestars to keep you company, after a while boredom begins to itch under your skin.

Realizing nervously that you had no hope of remembering the order of the discs on the shelf, you opt for your own system. You place the romcoms neatly along the top shelf, and the war dramas which you had half-interestedly scanned along the bottom.

You’re left standing alone in the recreation block. It’s immaculate, like off the cover of a blueblood magazine. The air is still, and the only sound and movement is your breathing, disturbing the sort of glossy purgatory that surrounds you.

Each breath is heavy in your breath-sacs, like something thick struggling down a straw.

Perching at the entrance of the still-open door, you look left and right, and step into the hallway.

You recognize the posters on the left, leading you towards the entrance block and the shining ablution. The thought of it makes you feel sick.

There must be something about space, you think, that makes your immune system flounder.

Of course, Eridan seems fine. Great, even.

You see your reflection in the light reflecting off one of the posters. You look unreal, the distortion of the glass smoothing your image into an off-color ersatz of itself. You lift your hand to your cheek, but the reflection wavers and breaks before you feel skin.

The hallway seems to go on forever, with unmarked doors shut tight. You’re fascinated, in a morbid way, by the prospect that every door has an accompanying block; this isn’t a ship of war, that’s clear, and you haven’t the slightest idea how a residential ship fills so much space. You wonder if they’re just empty, put there to confuse visitors, and the thought doesn’t register as being unlike a cruel game a highblood would play.

The door to the block full of movie-discs is behind you. You had closed it when you had left, and if you step back it blends into the rest of the hall, just another identical and unknown door.

There’s a nervous tic to the beat of your bloodpusher, and the thought of returning to that newly familiar and empty block makes you dig your stubby claws into your palm.

In a moment of compounded bravery, boredom and idiocy, you decide to explore.

You don’t see any other trolls, thank the fucking empress. In the back of your thinkpan, you wonder how this ship is maintained. As far as you’re aware, it’s just you and Eridan. And the helmsman, you suppose, but a battery doesn’t really count.

At that thought, a bit of bile stings your throat at the unspoken rule that you don’t really count either.

You keep the poster by the movie-block emblazoned in the forefront of your mind as you move slowly, cautiously down the hallway. Your surroundings are almost hostile in their hospitality, like the sweet smell luring small flybeasts into the pitcher of a carnivorous plant.

The temperature is comfortable, a far cry from the alternating stifling heat and frigid gusts around your former hive. Not having to steel yourself against the temperature leaves you feeling unfamiliarly comfortable, like how you imagine Gamzee feels when he eats sopor.

Wary of an easy situation, the ship somehow leaves you both on edge and with a feeling of having let your guard dangerously down.

You pause, and faintly, just barely on the edge of your hearing, there’s voices. Too quiet for you to make out the words, but one has a sort of accent that sounds familiar.

Your bare walkpads dart down the hallway and you pause again, listening, and- yes!, it’s Eridan’s voice, he hadn’t gone far at all.

You don’t stop to examine why finding him makes you so happy. He’s your morail, you guess. Of course you’d want to see him.

You creep towards the voice; your walkpads barely touch the ground, like when someone in your hivestem got culled by a drone when you were 4 and you spent the next few pedigrees walking on eggshells, too scared to garner any attention.

You almost trip on air when you come close enough to hear words. There’s your name, in a voice that’s not Eridan’s.

Her voice is calm and deep and you know, despite having having heard it only once or twice, who it is. Kanaya.

Kanaya, smart, lovely Kanaya. You adore her, and the sound of her voice makes you want to bolt in the other direction.

You had been so caught up in the amazement of being alive that you hadn’t considered how, or whether, you were going to contact your friends. It was as if on Ascension Day, as you and Eridan left your pupahood planet and breached the galaxy, the world outside of Eridan and you had ceased to exist, or was separated, like a shadow of a memory.

Kanaya was talking about you. Does she know? you think frantically, hand gripping your wrist as if hiding your veins would make them disappear, make you not have to confront this.

Eridan had made it so easy, you think darkly. He showed up, and he knew; there was no fighting it.

Kanaya laughs, and even through a wall and hallway it’s the clearest you’ve ever heard her voice. It’s the clearest you’ve heard her voice and you have to walk away, but she said your name, and this isn’t a conversation you’re supposed to hear-

You don’t feel bad about eavesdropping, really, but you’re almost certain that Eridan would have differing feelings on the manner, and that and the sheer terror of confronting Kanaya in your too-thin sleep-clothes with Eridan’s sign like a collar on your chest lead you down the hallway and back towards the room previous: reluctantly, at first, but the courage of exploration is brief and your fear of Eridan’s wrath is strong and so the last few steps towards the remembered poster are in a run.

You try to open the door. It doesn’t budge.

You nervously wipe your hands on your shirt, and they slip off. The door still won’t budge. Shit. Fuck. All of expletives, packed like ravers at an Xoloto concert, apply.

After three more attempts, you come to face the obvious; the doors lock upon closing. You try a few other doors in the hallway, and find the same result.

“Karkat?” You hear his voice behind you, and whirl around like a rebel facing the culling drone.

“Hey Eridan.” You gulp.

“I wwas talkin’ to Kan. Wwanna come?” He’s endearingly casual, and it reminds you of the pictures he’d send you during romcom marathons in earlier sweeps. It seems absurd, this fear you have of him, the sense of other. You’re just two dipshits figuring it out.

You drop your hand from the door as discreetly as possible. You can’t look, but you feel your sweaty palm leave an epitaph in the shape of your skin on the surface.

Eridan scrutinizes you for a moment before appearing to come to the revelation. He gasps in the dramatic way that he does for just about anything with you. It’s just about the cutest thing in the world, you think, except for crabdad sleeping upside down in the grubblock after marathoning movies with you on 12th Perigree’s Eve.

“Oh! You wwere probably looking for the ablution block. Shit, lemme showw you.” He goes to the door opposite and presses his finger into a sleek black sensor above the knob. A flash of light, and he’s turning the knob. While he’s turned, you press your own finger to the identical sensor of the movie-block’s knob. When you turn, the knob remains resistant and the door closed.

You enter yet another glistening ablution block, and are struck by a sense of miserable familiarity as you leadenly lean over the tap and stare at the unfamilar troll in the mirror’s reflection.

You can’t hide in here forever you, know. You wince at the soft-faced troll in the reflection, looking very much like the fragile lowblood quadrant-slave on the covers of trashy books. You make a note to ask Eridan for something to put over the thin, shiny sleepwear with Eridan’s sign before you face Kanaya.

The only place to go was foward, in this maze of a ship towards the only two trolls in the Empire with maps.

Dizziness and a sort of nausea are swirling in tandem within you. You swallow them down your throat. A nervous breakdown tastes an awful lot like choking on your own blood, you observe queasily. You don’t really have a choice. You step into the block, towards two trolls whom you pity very much and know nothing at all.

@are-u-kitten-me-right-meow ok I rewrote it!

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ardenttheories · 5 years

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I am really struggling to word a post on the Signless and religion. So please forgive me for how awkward and frustrated this is going to sound; I've typed it up four different times, and I'm still no closer to being satisfied with what I'm trying to posit for questioning.

The Signless is obviously a mock up of the story of Jesus. Knowing this, do we view his cult as a troll version of Christianity, or do we see it as something exclusively Alternian, based in part on Christian ideology but very much its own separate thing?

The thing that keeps tripping me up is the fact that Jesus was the son of God, and the Signless very much isn't. We don't know anything about the troll version of God to begin with, but we DO know that the Signless wasn't provided by anyone other than Karkat and the Dolorosa's own love.

But the "son of God" thing is integral to Christianity. It's what differs it from Judaism to someone like me, who is ignorant in the deeper practices of both religions. One has Jesus as the son of God, the other kind of maybe has him exist? But God is Not The Father.

And I don't think the Alternian trolls viewed him like that, either. There's no mysticism surrounding the Signless as some God-figure - it's very much surrounding the fact that he was even alive and rebelled against the Condesce the way he did. Did he exist? Was he real? Was he really a mutant? It's his message and who he is that forms the basis of his cult, as well as his martyrdom, not any sort of connection to a higher being. I'm not sure he even really did any miracles. He just talked a lot.

But could his visions be seen as those sent from a god? Was he seen as a prophet instead?

And if he was, how would he fit into troll Judaism? Do the Jewish trolls exclude any mention of the Signless from their religious practices for religious reasons, or is he instead simply viewed as a historical figure of no religious importance? Do Jewish trolls whisper of the Mutant Who Did, and corral around his ideology as something Historical, a hopeful idea rather than a set way of life, or does it actively work against their religion and thus they ignore it?

The biggest issue is that the Signless is always presented as a rebel with a cause. Yes, he has some religious foundations, but he's more reminiscent to me of Jack Cade; someone people think existed, and are pretty sure they can pinpoint as a real figure, but mostly exists as the originator of a rebellion and who is remembered for their grievances rather than any supposed religious significance.

So part of me says that the Cult surrounding the Signless is religious, yes, but not to the same degree as Christianity. But I still can't work out how troll Judaism would fit into it.

Because, obviously, the Signless was erased from the history books. Most people don't even believe he existed, beyond his Cult - who prepared for the very real arrival of Karkat through the breeding of Crabdad.

So to what degree is this religious? To what degree is it Christian? To what degree are we meant to relate this into the concept of troll Judaism? Is the Cult something that people just generally don't believe in because of its erasure by the Condesce, or is it something troll Judaism excludes due to conflicting religious ideology, or is it something that works perfectly between the two because the Cult is less religious and more historical?

I can't figure it out, and it is admittedly driving me nuts thinking about it.

So, I'm opening this up to you guys. What do you think? Have the Devs already gone into this? Where do you stand on the significance of the Signless and his Cult? How do you think troll Judaism treats his story?

I'm mostly positing this to any Jewish followers I have, admittedly. I feel like actual Jewish people would be a lot better at determining how a fictional version of Judaism would respond to a fictional Cult that May or May Not be Christianity than someone who isn't Jewish. I'd be interested to hear how Christians view the Cult of the Signless, though, and whether or not they see it as an actual, fictional representation of Christianity or something that takes ideas from Christianty yet is Very Different.

#ardenttheories out of theory #character analysis

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sharklilly · 7 years

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Yo, SL. Why'd you redesign Dresi and Mich's Lususes? The old ones were so cool.

Okay, so here we go.

I often have to question some of my old design choices, especially with some of my less conventional characters (mutants and such), so I decided to look into lusii and mutants.

I began my search on the Wiki. Looking under Crab lusus, the last sentence states that Karkat’s lusus “was apparently created by the followers of The Sufferer, so that future mutantbloods would have a lusus to tend to them.” Continuing my investigation into this, I went to Read MSPA. On page 5957, it’s explained that “due to [The Signless’s] mutation, surely no lusus would select him. No creature sympathetic to his scent had been bred yet.”, and on page 5956, it said that “the followers had already made their preparations in the shadows, and when the Second Signless finally came he would have a lusus to raise him and a sign to his name.” This implies that crabdads were selctively bred to exist for mutants.

This would be very hard to accomplish in a realistic setting, for you’d have to be able to make at least two so that they may breed and have more (assuming crabdads require mates to reproduce), so I initially had to question if Karkat’s lusus was the only successful mutant lusus to be created and it was preserved for his hatching. However, you may recall the presence of a crabdad-esque specimen on Jake’s Pacific island. Keeping in mind that Jake is from a post-scratch future Earth ruled by The Condesce, it should not come as a surprise that in her attempts to repopulate the troll race, she must facilitate the breeding of lusii if the Alternian way of life is to return. The existence of said specimen implies that there is crabdad DNA in the lusus gene pool, and hence that there may be many more crabdads and crabdad-likes bred in secret, each as its own subspecies. Thus, crabdads became an entire successful mutant lusus species! Huzzah! What does this say about my old lusus designs?

My old lusus designs were cool (“cool”), sure, but odds are, there were no other mutant species created, and if there were, it was probably the result of some branching crustacean breed. These designs are theoretically possible, but unrealistic.

I decided not to chance it and redesigned Michag and Villon’s lusii to be crabdads (male and female resprectively). For anyone else looking to design their own crabdads, here’s a fun bundle of diagrams I threw together showing some of the details I found in the species design.

While I’m at it, I’d like to explain more about the existence of my two mutantbloods, as I gained a lot of information on mutations during my research.

When The Signless was discovered by The Dolorosa, there was no one to raise him but herself, so she abandoned her duties and would eventually become the first follower of his teachings. During The Signless’s execution, he declared a Second Signless would be hatched and would bring about the end of the world (These preachings originate from his visions as a Seer of Blood).

With the webcomic I’m writing, Haphazard, my characters play Sgrub (during the same time that Karkat and his friends play). Both Michag and Villon are older than Karkat at this time, meaning they hatched before him. If the followers of The Sufferer were to ever see a mutant before Karkat, it’s possible they’d immediately assume that this is The Second Signless and give it the symbol of The Sufferer’s irons. In order to prevent my characters from being mistaken for The Second Signless, I came up with a few potential theoretical possibilities.

Michag and Villon’s ancestors were brought to Beforus on meteors, just as Kankri was. The only way they could have survived is if someone found them in their craters and decided to care for them. These characters will end up living in the shadows for most of their lives and dying unceremoniously. They aren’t remembered or cared for unlike The Signless, who built an enormous following and had his teachings carried down through many generations.

Villon was brought to Alternia first. Since Villon is a female, it can be assumed that she isn’t The Second Signless, but is instead just some other mutant. This may not actually matter to the followers, or they may not even be able to tell the difference between males and females since they all have the same reproductive organs, but it’s one possibility. Villon also has pointier horns than The Signless, which could bring the followers to question if she is actually his descendant. It’s also possible that a random troll that doesn’t follow The Signless’s teachings found her and decided not to slaughter her. Any of these are possible and it’s really dependant on whatever troll(s) raised her and their beliefs.

Michag was brought to Alternia later. At this point, news of the first mutant may have gotten around amongst the followers, and this second one will be even more questionable. Michag’s horns are very obviously different from The Signless’s, so he, like Villon, seems a less likely candidate for The Second Signless. It is also possible that he was found by a non-follower.

So how did they get their symbols?

They were probably just made up, like The Second Signless’s and every other symbol. There are no symbols for mutants, so these unexpected newcomers were most likely improvised in their symbol design.

You’ll notice I actually redesigned Michag’s symbol to have a bit more of a resemblance with The Second Signless’s symbol, and I made it gray, like the cooled irons. Villon’s sweater has a yellow-orange symbol, though she owns shirts with gray symbols.

There you have it! My design choices and how I made them canon-fit. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

#fantroll #fantrolls #troll oc #troll ocs #homestuck oc #homestuck ocs #sharklilly's fantrolls #villon montag #dresi feirls #michag nishii #homestuck #hiveswap #we love fine #lusus #lusus naturae #Haphazard

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tashaleway · 5 years

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KVAAFCRS: Chapter Three: As A Friend Was Made

Karkat had waited for this moment for so long that he almost couldn’t believe what he saw in front of him. His acceptance letter from Hogwarts! If he was like every other eleven year old, he would most likely jump around the house and maybe worse; giggling. He shuddered. Or maybe he would be confused like all the muggleborns, those with non-magical parents; they would paddle around in the sea of confusion, until the Deputy Headmistress or Headmaster got their ass home to the children and finally explain the magical world to them. Think how many years these kids would have waddled around, thinking themselves to be freaks…

No matter his dark thoughts, Karkat smiled brightly. That was all he allowed himself. Float around in happiness for a few minutes, and then back to business. Oh, right. Business. He looked down at the still concealed envelope. He hadn’t even opened it yet. Feeling silly, he broke the seal, without any more hesitation and pulled out the letter. It read; HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc. Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards) Dear Mr. Vantas, We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July. Yours sincerely, Calliope Uranian Umbra. Deputy Headmistress. Ignoring Kankri, who was fawning over his own letter with the list of the year’s book and talking loudly about how he had to write his friends about the new books and which subjects they were likely to cover, Karkat took a look at his own list of supplies. HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY Uniform: First-year students will require: 1. Three sets of plain work robes (black). 2. One plain painted hat (black) for day wear. 3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar). 4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings). Please note that all pupils’ clothes should carry name tags. Set books: All students should have a copy of each of the following: The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk. A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot. Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling. A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch. One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore. Magical Drafts and Potions by Arseniust Jigger. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander. The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble. Other Equipment 1 wand 1 cauldron (pewter standard size 2) 1 set of glass or crystal phials 1 telescope 1 set brass scales Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad. PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS. Awww… no broomsticks? How… unfortunate… Karkat thought sarcastically with a smirk that was soon gone. He couldn’t wait to hear some of those spoiled kids, whine about the lack of their broom, afterwards he read the supply list again and began counting how much it would cost, since they would need a set of everything, except for the books, where Karkat would just loan (read: steal) Kankri’s. That was at least one plus. And the rest they would just shop in secondhand stores, like they used to. Not that Karkat really cared. The clothes didn’t make the man, or something bullshit like that. It wasn’t like listened and remembered everything he said. Karkat knew that the other students would most likely pick on him for his already used stuff, but Karkat could care less about what they thought. They had a bigger pouch. Karkat had a bigger brain. Logic for the win. ~naknaknak~ With his acceptance letter already send away with the awaiting school own (and no curse word! Amazing, right?), Karkat couldn’t wait to get his hands on the books for classes, and actually be permitted. Keyword: Permitted. Since Kankri had arrived home from his first year at Hogwarts and in no need for most of the books, Karkat had “borrowed” them to read up on (mostly because he was bored) the subjects, but it would be nice nonetheless to just be able to sit and review the books now, when he would actually need it soon. And (another thought came to mind) he could finally discuss the theories with fellow classmates! He almost couldn’t contain a smile of the thought that he might even get friends. That would be great! He knew that he wasn’t the greatest people-person, but even he would be able to at least make one friend, right? Right? ~naknaknak~ “Welcome… to Diagon Alley!” Diamond Droog held his arm out dramatically after tapping the bricks on the gateway to the alley. Witches and wizards turned and look at the other wizard with a disgusted look for his antics. Karkat had pretty much the same urge, instead he sighed, in hopes to calm himself down somewhat. “Cut the crap, Droog. Both Kankri and I have already seen this before so keep your crappy presentation for somebody who hasn’t, instead of driving off your words off to their suicide mission in the land of total disgust and strangulation, got it?!” Yet again, Karkat failed to control his (in)famous temper. After this speech, Droog pouted mockingly before he broke into a face-splitting grin. “All right, all right! Come along kiddoes, we have a lot to do! Follow me!” Droog said, the grin still in place, before he waddled into the street, right into an old hag with a big, goo-dripping nose. She yelled at his careless with a shrieking voice, before sniffing the goo back into her nose and continued her path with the offending nose (if you could even call the thing that) in the air. The three males shuddered and vowed to themselves that they would avoid hags of all costs from now on. Trying to forget anything about that last sight, Karkat tried to focus on the Alley instead. The first shops were very expensive, so the bigoted, wealthy witches and wizards wouldn’t have to walk that far from the Cauldron and the Floo in there. “That nitwit do fucking realize that we actually only needed him to get through the brick wall, right? That we can handle this on our bloody own? And even that shitty brickwall, we don’t need him a fuck for! We could just as well get the help from Timmy the owner of the Leaky Cauldron!” Karkat said to his brother in a hushed tone. No need to anger said nitwit more than necessary. Kankri nodded, but didn’t look like he listened to a word, his brother said, having his mind a whole different place, staring Droog down. Hell, Kankri didn’t even correct Karkat, who liberate “forgot” that the owner wasn’t named “Timmy”, but “Tom”. Karkat frowned. What the heck was that shitstains on about now? The way, Kankri looked at Droog, reminded Karkat the way Kankri had looked at Karkat earlier this week. Didn’t he trust Droog? As long as Karkat could remember, Kankri had kept himself as far away from the man as possible, but from avoiding the man to actually glare him down, there was a long distance. What had happened? This was something the red-eyed would ponder about later, for now he needed to get his brother back to Planet Earth. “Hey, Kankri? Did you see that burning shop over there? It looks like the whole world is going to burn to burn to ashes. We are probably all going to die. Oh, and look! Heat-seeking killer bees! This is defiantly going to be the end for us!” Karkat said with a deadpan to Kankri, who nodded back, just as serious. Maybe a punch would bring his brother back? It was worth a try. “Ow! What was that for?” Kankri asked all innocently, while rubbing his now hurting arm. Karkat scoffed. “Kankri, you bloody excuse for a thinking being! I just told you, that we were going to die, because of the burning buildings around us, and you just nodded away like a mindless sheep!” he was most likely overreacting, but in this very moment, he didn’t gave a running shit about that. Kankri looked horrified that he hadn’t listened to a word his brother had said, and was just a bloody hypocrite with all his lectures about not ignoring the people around you and remember to be nice. It actually made the situation a bit funny, but also the more worrying. Kankri never ignored anyone. And especially not his brother. Or teachers. Or Crabdad. Or other authorities. Or his classmates. Let’s just say, he doesn’t ignore anyone. At all. “Oh, forget it, you plump of an asswhipe! It is human to fail, so we finally proved that you were human, and not a robot, alright?!” Karkat grabbed his brother’s sleeve and dragged him along with quick steps until they finally reached Droog that had won good twenty meters, while the brothers were occupied. The man hadn’t noticed a thing, he just kept babbling about Quidditch. Kankri and Karkat were afraid of heights and not the smallest bit interested in the violent sport. Just the thought about being high up in the air on a broom, made them uneasy. The thought about zooming after either the Quaffle or Snitch made them sick. The thought about the Bludgers… let’s not finish that thought, shall we? We don’t want to find out if fictional characters can vomit on readers, or worse; the author! Urgh. Normally a trip to Diagonal Alley would start with a visit to Gringotts, the wizarding bank, but since Crabdad was a creature, or being after whom you asked, he was not allowed to have an account at the bank. The wizards were even considered generous of letting him have a job, but only because he had two children to care for. Thank the prejudices. Therefore, their first stop would be Madam Maryam’s Robes and Clothes for Every Taste and Fashion. They were getting their robes. Joy. Karkat was getting Kankri’s old ones that Kankri had outgrown, while Kankri would have new sets. So now, Karkat was in for about half an hour of boredom. Fucking piece of shit. He felt himself ready to almost hit his head repeatedly against a wall, when Kankri’s crush walked into the shop from the backdoor. Porrim Maryam, Kankri had whispered to him. She was pretty. Hell, even Karkat could see that, but he had to admit that all the tattoos and piercings didn’t speak to him. She had long, smooth black hair and got a teasing glint in the green eyes, when she spotted Kankri in the middle in the shop, who was almost drooling. Smooth Kankri, really smooth. Porrim took Kankri by the arm, which made him blush feverously, while another girl came into the shop by the call of Porrim. Her name was Kanaya, she said. She looked to be around eleven or twelve, but the way she hold herself and let her jade green eyes sweep over the shop and the customers, made her look even older. She was without a doubt way more mature than Karkat with his decreasing anger tantrums. Like her older sister, Kanaya had black hair, but instead of being long it was just below her chin. Her choice of clothes was a long-sleeved, black shirt of fine material and a red skirt with buttons running diagonally from her waist and down to her feet. The colorful outfit clashed with Karkat’s gray jeans and black turtleneck. Karkat noted that she kept out of the sunrays from the windows, which made her appear mysterious. She was perhaps a follower of Dark Magic? Karkat discarded the idea as soon, it appeared. That was just plain stupid. The moment, Kanaya laid her eyes on the shorter boy, her lips quirked in a pleasant smile and lead him over to a section of shelves with Hogwarts robes in his seize, about four feet away from the other two. Kanaya didn’t talk that much, which Karkat appreciated, and she didn’t try to small talk, perhaps she could feel how unwilling Karkat was about strangers. The best part about Kanaya was most likely that she didn’t stare at his freakish eyes, but noticed them and let her eyes glide over the rest of his body to guess his size. “Are you a first year as well?” she asked. Karkat nodded and at her encouraging raised eyebrow, he told her his name. She froze a second, but quickly got her bearings together, and Karkat swept the incident away. It was most likely nothing. “It is nice to meet you, Karkat” after repeating the greeting, no more words were said for a time. It was only after Karkat’s clothes were paid for and he was waiting for his older brother, Kanaya dared ask him another question. “What house do you hope for?” ah, the awkward first year question, everybody was asked on the Hogwarts Express, when they had no idea, what to talk about. Sounded a bit dull, and from the looks of it, Kanaya thought the same thing, but she seemed somewhat obsessive with being a nice and polite person. Karkat was most likely the exact opposite. “Mr. I-shit-so-much-out-of-my-mouth-that-I-can-cover-whole-Britain-with-it over there is in Gryffindor and I guess it would be nice enough to be in the same house, but I have never really felt any bravery. Like at all. I think I am more of a run-and-survive-person. And after all the times I have stolen my brother’s textbooks, I guess that my honor level is so low that it is kissing Satan’s butt. Which house do you hope for?” he answered, while not really answering the question. During his little tirade, Kanaya’s eyebrows raised at every swearword, but she looked more amused than disturbed. And now, when he thought it through, what house would he actually land in? Well, as he just said, Gryffindor was pretty much out of the picture and if he should say so himself, so was Hufflepuff. Yes, he was somewhat loyal and hardworking, but it wasn’t his most visible traits. And by the way, Hufflepuffs was all seen as wimps and he would go to fucking hell and back, before he would subject himself to become one of them. He could perhaps end in Ravenclaw with all the books he read. And to be honest, he would have nothing against this. He didn’t even dare to think about the possibility that he would fit really good in Slytherin. Slytherin was for the bad guys after all. Right? And what would Kankri day, if he ended up there? Would he hate him? Would he be disgusted to call him his brother? Nope, not going there thoughts. Abscond! Abscond the shit out of there, you self-harming, unthinking, thinkable muscle. With this deep thinking, Karkat almost missed Kanaya’s response. “I believe I would fit nicely in Ravenclaw. I must admit that I enjoy reading and favor knowledge. Gryffindor has always been a respected House, but a lot of them was killed during the war against Jack Noir, as most of them ended as Aurors. And to be honest, I really cannot see myself in the House of the brave either. Perhaps, we will both land in Ravenclaw. Then, I would at least have one friend?” she made the last sound like a question, she obviously tried to hide her hope of a friend and Karkat was not in for crushing that hope. It would be nice to have a friend. And a friend that had not seemed disturbed in the last by his freaky red eyes or his choice of words. She was so far pretty cool. He nodded and Kanaya beamed at him, before asking, what his favorite subject was. “So far, I really like Defense Against the Dark Arts. The whole dueling thing sounds exciting and I look forward to learn about dark creatures! Even though, I cannot understand, why they are labeled as such. Yes, they can be dangerous, but most of them are still humans and still able to think somewhat intelligent thoughts and not just raging murder, and if you take your precautions, I can see no trouble with them having a job. Just see the werewolves. They only transform one night a month, on the full moon. The rest of the month, they are as harmful as the rest of us. Grindylows , on the other hand, are fucking terrifying. I think I once had an encounter with one. I swear! I wrapped its fingers around my leg and I almost shitted myself, I got loose, of course, but Kankri says that it was just seaweed. I don’t fucking believe him, but whatever. Even such a creature doesn’t deserve to die. “ Realizing his rambling, Karkat quickly shut his mouth. “And what about you? What is your favorite subject?” Karkat asked somewhat lamely. He was such an idiot. He was asked a polite question, and he just rambled on like a freaking lunatic about his ‘free the werewolves’-campaign as Kankri always called it. Which was stupid. It was more like ‘free-all-creatures-there-is-labeled-as-dark-as-most-of-them-are-nice’. Also known as F.A.C.T.I.L.A.D.A.M.O.T.A.N. Also called F.A.C. He would soon find a cooler name. even though it was just a joke running around the family. “And here I thought that you were just really quiet. It would be a pleasure to discuss subjects even more as soon, we meet again. Like you, I also borrowed (and yes, I mean borrowed, not stealed) my older sibling’s course books and so far, I really enjoy Charms. The spells really do have their charm.” Kanaya winked at him at the last word and Karkat tried to withhold a snort of laughter, but failed miserably. Alright, this chick had a lame sense of humor, but in its own way, it was charming. Oh god! Just kill him now! Kanaya had infected him! Suddenly, he was blinded by a flash of light and a little cloud of smoke erupted from the light source. He turned completely around and was face to face with Kankri and Droog, the latter holding the still smoking camera, apparently having taken a picture. Now, that he thought about it, their other babysitter had done the same, when Kankri had been a first year, about to have his first set of supplies. Had Crabdad set them up to this? Wouldn’t fucking surprise him… After he had said goodbye to Kanaya Maryam, they ventured further down the alley, getting a cauldron, potions kit and brass scales for Karkat, before moving on to the books. The bookstore was named Flourish and Blotts and there were books everywhere! Karkat did indeed love books, but he was not like a lot of other die-hard bookworms. Yes, he enjoyed the smell of parchment, old books and ink, but it was not like, he loved all books and bought them because they were simply books or had stories to tell, but mostly for learning. The more he learned, the better he would fare in the world. No hard feelings. This didn’t mean he didn’t like the bookshop. He loved the bookshop, or loved was perhaps a strong word. Karkat was after all known for hating everything. Maybe not-hating the bookshop would be more accurate. He really not-hated this bookshop. After all, the shop was filled with knowledge, and not only, what Hogwarts would teach him, but so much more. There were books about advanced charms, advanced transfiguration, broom-caring, the dark arts, defense against the dark arts, house caring and spells, cookbooks, muggle books, you name it. Whatever subject, you could think of, was there. Too bad, Karkat was not allowed to buy any books other, than those Kankri had to keep for himself for this year, so Karkat would need another example. He was browsing through some of the other books, looking for something he would like to read when he came to Hogwarts (he had heard tales and myths about the library there. According to Kankri, it was so big, and so filled with books that even if, you did nothing, but read, you would not even be halfway done with the library before the end of your seventh and last year. A myth, but still. With this many books, there might be just a little chance of finding a copy of the books there, he could borrow). For future use, he scribbled down the names and name of author for those that perked his interest. He almost stumbled over a section labeled the Dark Arts. They didn’t fill more than a single shelve, which didn’t really surprise anyone, when you thought about how much magic theory and spells, the Ministry had banned as Dark and made illegal to read and sell. These books were most likely about, why the Dark Arts were so bad, why you should avoid them, what horrible things could happen to you, if you used them, what had happened to others, who had used them and afterward ended in Azkaban for ‘their own good’ and for harming others. Despite this, Karkat almost took another step towards the section, trying to read just some of the titles, when something made him stop. He had this thought… that the Dark Arts were really wrong. Not like the way the Ministry painted tit, but… wrong for him… it would be wrong of Karkat to read them, use them, even just glance at them. Not Kanaya, not Kankri, not Crabdad, not Droog, but him. Karkat. Shaking himself out of these thoughts, he stepped away from the section. He could always come back. Maybe. Instead, he searched for something else. And something else, he found, indeed. Or should he say someone? “Oh! This book looks cool! Can I have this one, Dad? Please? Look! It even has a white dog on it! It looks exactly like Bec! Please, please, please, pleeeeeease!” a girl’s voice sounded, begging her father to buy a book about something that looked like animal transfiguration. From his distance, Karkat couldn’t read the title, even if the girl could hold the book still, instead of jumping up and down, making huge puppy eyes to her father. Fucking maniac. Instead, he could see that like her father, the girl had licorice black hair. Hers was long and reached the middle of her back. Big, jade green eyes were enlarged behind big, round glasses. When she spoke, Karkat could see her buckteeth and braces, which didn’t seem to do much good. She wore an army green skirt and a white t-shirt with a blue atom on it, which looked to freak some of the purebloods out, those who saw it. What is this? Is that a new rune? What does it stand for? Or is she a Muggle? How dare she wear such hideousness in public?! Okay maybe not, but it was funny, fantasizing about such a scenario. “No, Jadey. You can’t get that book, just because it has a picture on it that looks like Bec. The book is too advanced for you yet. Come on, we only need Hogwarts books for you, John, Jane and Jake.” Her father replied with a fond smile, tugging his lips. What the actual fuck? Jadey? John? Jane? Jake? You can see the problem, right? Alright, Karkat and Kankri both started with ‘K’, but he was pretty sure, that if he had other siblings, they wouldn’t be named something with K. Their parents had more style than that. He hoped. “But Daaad!” she whined. Somehow she made it sound like a dog. She had perhaps spend too much time with that dog of hers? “I said ‘no’ Jade. And I know that your mother will agree.” After this the girl began to pout, making Karkat obvious about her buckteeth. IMPORTANT!!!! A/N: Hey, I just want to clear something up here: I have nothing; I repeat NOTHING against any of the other Houses. Even as a ‘slimy little Slytherin’ myself, I hold no dislike against them. I just thought that since little KitKat here was brought up in a (somewhat) wizarding home, he has been subject to a lot of prejudice, which here includes the always classical “Slytherin’s are always evil and they harbor Dark magic”, the sad “Hufflepuffs are weaklings and cries, seeing their own shadow”, the idiotic “Ravenclaws only care about their grades, school and books. Let their friend burn in front of them and they will wonder, if they will inheritance their books” and the one that always make me sigh; “Gryffindor is the best house, house for the brave and noble”. We all know that this is exaggerated, but you get the point: Houses are not people. People (and especially children) are not Houses. Don’t let anyone judge you for what House you belong to (or family for this matter), you are your own person.

#homestuck #homestuck fanfiction #karkat vantas #kvaafcrs #chapter three #fanfiction #chapter 3

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