#I dont know what it is I hate it sooooo much

[midnight-moth]

May I ask for Rain and Dew absolutely smothering Phantom because his anxiety is acting up really bad and the dp helps calm him down

I haven't just written something inside of tumblr without even opening a doc in a long time. Let's give it a go! 1100 ish words of Phantom having a meltdown, Rain and Dew being sweet. And maybe Dew having secret perv thoughts. Also everyone always puts cute or pretty gifs in their writing. Well I feel this one works.

"Where's Phantom?"

"I don't know, actually. Where is he?" Dew craned his neck from his seat on the edge of a folding chair, his eyes drifted away from the knot he was trying to pick out of his laces to Rain's face, creased with worry.

"I'm sure he's around? I mean, he can't have gone far." Words meant to self-soothe but they weren't doing a particularly good job. Rain's legs were already absentmindedly directing him toward the labyrinth of hallways.

"You wanna go look? I wanna go look." 

Rain gave Dew a small smile, a silent thank you for taking his worries and making them his own. For not making Rain ask him to go searching for Phantom, for not making him feel like he was concerned about nothing.

For not making Rain explain again that he was worried about the new summon; that despite appearances and reassurances, Rain saw the raw skin beside his thumbnails, the bruised circles carved beneath his eyes, the food he pushed around his plate but never into his mouth.

All of them were nervous, Papa was nervous. It was their first ritual together, at least with this iteration of the band. One without the steadying presence of Aether, the calming comportment of Sunny.

Dew abandoned the knot in his laces and followed Rain out of the greenroom, leaving the various satellite groups of crew and ghoul alike to continue eating, talking, vibrating with excitement about kicking off the tour. 

They weaved in and out of the hallway snaking to the rear of the building, still short one quintessence Ghoul and running out of hiding places.The clack of heeled boots finally revealed his location.

“Hey, what’re you doing back here?” Here being a darkened stairwell that led to the catwalks up above the stage.

Whether Phantom heard Dew’s voice or their approach, they weren’t sure. He didn’t react. He just kept up his pacing, 3 steps forward, 5 steps across, 3 steps back, 5 steps over, around and around and around. 

Dew, watching him move in the small space felt his own head spinning with vertigo eventually and tore his eyes away to look at Rain, who stood frozen, his arm halfway extended, as if he were about to stop Phantom in his tracks. 

“Hey bug, you’re gonna wear holes in your soles. Why don’t you slow down a little?” Phantom’s eyes flit up to Dew’s and then fell back on the toes of his shiny new boots. He did however finally stop moving. 

Neither Dew nor Rain were really sure what to do. Neither had really made progress in getting to know the ghoul. What they saw during practice, a charismatic ghoul who was little bit goofy, but also full of joy, had yet to reveal itself in alternate scenary. 

“Are you nervous? That’s okay. It’s normal. We all were, and we still are.” Rain took small steps toward him as he spoke, he half expected Phantom to arch his back and howl like a scared cat. 

Phantom wanted to answer them, but he couldn’t escape the feeling that if he opened his mouth, all of his insides would come spewing out. Not the contents of his stomach, his lungs, his heart, his spine. He felt like his silence was the only thing keeping his body glued together. Even then he felt the bonds weakening when he looked up at the concerned ghouls in front of him.

“You don’t have to speak. Just - if there’s anything we can do, can you nod?” 

Phantom considered whether he could do as Dew asked, whether communicating with him would cause everything to spiral out of control. Whether it would disturb the peace he’d made with that square meter of concrete in the back of the venue.

He nodded slowly, eyebrows quirking up in surprise that in fact, the ground beneath his feet had not shifted or crumbled. 

“Good. Okay, do you want water?” No.

“Food?” No.

“Do you want anyone other than us?” No

“Do you want to go outside?” No.

Guilt began to tear at the threads of reality Phantom had clung to since finding the quiet space. Rain and Dew watched him wring his hands in consternation, subconsciously mimicking him, Dew twisted his fingers together, feeling like they were failing him.

“Do you want a hug?” Rain’s voice made them both jump a little. 

Phantom nodded his head in affirmation and Rain felt the coil twisting in his chest loosen a little. 

Neither had really touched the ghoul, and once again they approached him as they would a feral cat, all but sticking their hands under his nose for him to sniff. Not that they were afraid he would bite or claw, they were afraid he would run.

Rain reached out first, wrapping his arms around Phantom’s tense shoulders, loose, and hopefully non-threatening. Still he felt the ghoul tense under his touch. 

Dew reached for his arm, a barely there pat to his bicep, and the ghoul visibly cringed.

“We’re sorry, you can change your mind. I don’t know - we can get Swiss, or Cirrus, or Papa.”

“No”, His voice came out as a croak, his throat dry and tight from his panic induced fugue. 

“What can we do?” 

“Just - you can touch me, but harder. I dunno why. When I feel - like this, those light touches make my skin crawl. I’m sorry - s’not your fault. I don’t - I don’t -”

“Ah.” Rain nodded. Dew was the same, whether he was upset, sad, anxious, he hated gentle, soft. He wanted heavy and solid. 

“It’s okay, I’ll be okay.” Phantom mumbled, feet angling to resume the pattern he’d been wearing into the floor.

Instead, Rain grasped him firmly by the wrists and led him to the wall, pulling the ghoul into his lap and into a most crushing hug, reinforced by Dew, wrapping his arms around the other half of his body. 

They both felt him sag and droop a little. 

“Better?”

Phantom gave them a barely-there nod, as best he could manage with the limited range of movement. Even as compressed as he was, he felt like his lungs were finally able to take in a satisfying amount of air.

“Don’t worry, we have lots of time. Hours in fact.”

Phantom nodded against Rain’s shoulder, beginning to doze off. The two tails snaking around his torso and the rumbling purrs of their owners nudged him over the edge.

“Is he asleep?” Dew whispered.

“Yeah. He’s drooling on me. Reminds me of someone.”

“Shut up. - Hey, if he likes this maybe he’ll like that other thing you do.”

“One step at a time.”

As Phantom’s mind swam between the conscious and unconscious world, he wondered what the other thing was. 

#sorry if there are typos I am so sleepy #squish that ghoul #also this is me if someone tries to touch me lightly while I am v anxious or having a panic attack I will throw up #I dont know what it is I hate it sooooo much #again sorry this took so long I will slowly make my way through the asks #phantom ghoul #rain ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #midnight moth asks #midnight moth writes #the band ghost fanfiction #i can't help but see that you said DP instead of DPT and well you know what i'm thinking about #that wouldve been very different story #cw anxiety #cw panic attack

[sunnnfish]

“If you just do everything you’re supposed to do you’ll eventually end up where you need to be.” Infinity train book 4 you fuck me up so bad still. “You can mess up even if you stand still…” MIN-GI PARK…..

#ITS SOOOOO GOOD… #he’s fucking. just like me for real #GOD. relationships with family and friends and like. I DONT HAVE THE WORDS FOR IT RIGHT NOW #and how like personal problems and biases can effect your relationships #and how little things about someone can build up and bottle up and it’s like you love them and hate them at the same time #and about standing still versus rushing ahead #the weight of expectations. one trying to run away one just trying to do as he’s told #and they both think they knows what’s best. for themselves for each other #rymin is so much more than a ship to me. it’s about complexities and best friendship and knowing someone your whole life #and how extremely fucked up that can be #head in my hands punches the wall explodes #infinity train #book 4 #rymin #sunnfish.txt #min gi park is like if hanzawa masato was a lot less eccentric and a lot more angry. same core though #sorry also just like. what a justified anger it is #min gi has molded himself to what his parents want him to be his whole life #he tries and wants to be with Ryan. but it’s so fucking terrifying to him #that amount of change and freedom. #sorry. sorry #okay. I’m going #WAIT. also thinking about the whole. abandonment issues. aaaaauuuuu #rewatching rn and #not even at the art gallery car episode yet but I’m thinking about it. you LEFT me.

[rivilu]

Rip to the Emperor, just got rejected 3 times in a row in increasingly more painful ways

#bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #jsdhfks #empy fans turn away this is a roast post dfgjkhg #(side note i'll be using he/him for emperor just because i cant tell what the game has in mind with mind flayer pronouns tbh) #Alfhart was first and like. I dont know what Empy was expecting from the guy that hates him just as much if not more than Lae'zel does #but what he got was a very solid fuck off followed by sarcasm at his mask falling off and laughter at his threat #(Latter doesnt happen in game but it does in my heart) #Then it was Olur who was trying to keep the conversation more neutral. Until the squid flirted and he was so taken aback dnbfg #he called him a freak and that he should have thrown the prism in the shadow curse #Then poor Ayre jksf just genuinely so uncomfortable the whole way through. for a mind reader Emperor does NOT get the hint #'i dont really know how i feel about this forced alliance' ' you tried to control me :(' THEN HE FLIRTS AND AYRE IS STRAIGHT UP TERRIFIED #rip emperor you sure tried #cant wait to get to omelluum again #it's going to be SOOOOO funny when alfhart gets him out and is like : of course i saved you- i rather like you :) #POINTEDLY TO PISS THE EMPEROR OFF #only one illithid he respects and it's not you <3 fucking loser

[lesbiansanemi]

*through gritted teeth* ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you people can—

#I need to stop seeing douma/akaza stuff like. now. #I’ve tried okay I’ve tried to even mildly like it and nope #I can’t do it. I cannot do it whatsoever #I JUST DONT GET IT I DONT GET IT I DONT GET ITTTTTTTR #I know it’s my thing where I viscerally dislike ships that are based on two characters #who are on the same side but STILL fucking hate each other #because literally no matter what it just feels so weird and forced to me #like they are on the same side. they have similar morals already. if they were gonna like each other AT ALL… they would #but yeah no I’m hffjdjdksk I can’t do that one anymore #and it used to be such a rare pair so it was really easy to avoid and now I’m seeing A LOT more of it and it’s getting more difficult #and I dunno part of it is the idea of shipping douma with ANYONE #like I can’t stand him being shipped with shinobu kanae or kotoha either #his canon interactions with them have just tainted it sooooo much for me #and like yeah rocks at glass houses I’m aware I’m the enemies to lovers weirdo who ships characters who keep trying to kill each other #but mannnnnn something about the idea of shipping a guy who terrified a woman so wholly she threw her baby off a cliff because that was a #better alternative to him getting his hands on her child? yeeeeaaaaahhhhh… it’s not gonna be for me folks #it is NOT a kind of power dynamic I am gonna enjoy when it’s that particular angle #the context of their relationship cannot be that removed to me #it’s just one of my person nope. can’t fucking do it don’t fucking like it kinda makes my skin crawl things #which in a way is unfortunate #cuz I actually do enjoy douma as a character a lot and I can enjoy certain explorations of him #where he actually DOES learn to be in tune with his emotions again and learn to care for someone #but I rarely see it done well #and when I see ANY of that so called ‘development’ linked to any of these ships #it’s usually just akaza or Kotoha or shinobu getting over their hatred/fear of him in way too fast and highly unrealistic ways #while douma does very little to actually develop himself he just kinda is Automatically better because someone loved him back #(in a way that’s usually out of character for everyone involved lol) #esp when any of these ships are showcased in a REALLY cutesy way like again it’s just not for me #I don’t think I can ever really jive with it #oh well. I should just block some more tags I just needed to complain a bit first lol

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

im gonna be honest i hate the new p3r opening cutscene. like a lot

#i DESPISE IT #the chaos and the noise...... theres NOTHING #its too clean and organized #theres no city noise there's no burn my dread in the headphones there's nothing to go silent once the dark hour starts because its #already quiet!!!! #the reason this works as an introduction to the dark hour is because of how stark the difference is #now theres none #i hate it i hate it i hate it SOOOOO much #i dont care if it like. what its supposed to be for the audience who know p3 already or to match makotos own experience with it because it #just doesn't work #and yukari trying to use the evoker just isnt as good as one continuous scene too. disregarding how it adds to everything it just doesn't #have you interested #you dont care who she is youre not worried or shocked or confused #even rewatching the fes cutscene now i still find myself concerned for yukari despite the fact i know shes not trying to kill herself #in reload? i dont. theres no noise or panic or tension. she doesn't even seem that anxious #so yeah i despise this cutscene. boooooo you suck #aethers rants

[orcelito]

Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating

I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.

Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.

#speculation nation #'what a pain' haha get it bc chronic pain #frankly speaking the chronic pain part of it isn't the Worst. it's only a few times a month that i get my arm and leg aches #(though sometimes ill have bouts that last longer. like in january i think when i had arm aches for over a Week) #then again my rib cartilage inflammation is a permanent thing. my ribs Always are fucked up. #and i dont know 100% that it's bc of fibro but this condition has been linked to fibro and it didnt go away with anti-inflammatories So #in the end the pain isnt my biggest concern for treating my fibro. aside from the frequent headaches. i Would like to counter those. #what i really need is help with my chronic fatigue and weakness spells #i hate how fragile i feel so much of the time. bc im NOT weak. for my size im actually surprisingly strong. #but im quick to tire and if i push myself too hard then im practically bedridden #i will literally get symptoms of sickness if im too fatigued. including nausea and coughing and headaches #all fixed after ive gotten some rest. so im not Actually sick. #im tired and fed up with how finicky my body is and how i have to eat on time always or i'll be threatened with passing out. #havent passed out Yet but ive had some times where i end up Having to sit bc i get tunnel vision and my scalp is prickling #and it feels like my brain is squeezing and i know i Have to sit down Right Now #idk. there are many things like this. and i am sooooo tired of it. #i want a fibro diagnosis so i can actually get some help for the things that make life so hard to live. #im not depressed im just chronically fatigued. and so very tired. #give me some Energizing Meds or smth. help me please 😭😭😭 i hate living like this 😭😭😭😭😭 #i wanna be able to do things without being bedridden for the rest of the day 😭😭😭😭 please 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[thedevotionaltour]

marvel should hire me to write bc i'd pull the funniest thing on earth where i am wiping his catholic slate CLEAN and i would explcitily have him go ehhhh i've never really been religious me and my dad went some easters and christmases and attended a few services outside of that but that stopped by the time i was around 10 and my dad just kinda gave up on it because he didn't particularly want to go by that point either. and even then we hadn't gone every year for easter and christmas in that time frame. and then we never bring that shit up again in the story. he is only catholic in the sense he went a few times and it's the only church experience he knew and his dad probably grew up going to church more in his youth being dragged in by his family but he never felt particularly compelled to go back to it once he moved out on his own. catholic only in the fact that his family was irish catholic but his dad is a lapsed catholic who did not give a fuuuuuck

#based off my own father's filipino catholic experiences. and my own religious experiences in general. bc my mom's protestant but still didnt #raise me religiously. i've been to church a handful of times and it was never bad but it never ever stuck. i just kinda remember some stuff #and what i do know it's more from the general cultural osmosis of american christianity than anything #plus i grew up in a known for its religiosity suburb. but again. that still didnt really rub off on me. #in my mind jack is a guy who when entering a church will still dip his fingers in the holy water and cross with it #and matt watches and maybe mimics but he doesnt really get it still bc their service attendance has been so extremely infrequent. #so i imagine it's far more like that for matt than the insane bs they've been pullin the last few years. given the you know. #50 somethings years of established only really culturally casually catholic matt. bc well. why wouldnt he be new york irish catholic. #i imagine is the thought process. but i will never be a fan of how it's a big deal now. bc it just never has been. ever #and that's not to say a character cannot become religious or be religious or have it become more of a thing in their life! #very much it can be done. but i think it's been done piss poor. from all i've seen and what i've read of recent stuff. so it's just bad. #like it isnt done in a meaningfully way or sensical to my understanding. it's like. pure show pandering fanon appeal. #so it's utterly meaningless as a whole with no point or purpose aside from it #can we go back to just using it for cool art visuals bc i think we can all appreciate a cool splash page of a church fight and stuff #but please. dont try to make it more than that if you arent going to do it well #SORRY I KNOW EVERYONE ON PLANET DD HAS MADE THIS POST BUT I REMEMBER AND GET SOOOOO IRRITATED!!!!! IT'S SO STUPID POINTLESS DUMB I HATE ITT #static.soundz

[artemisbarnowl]

Having a totally normal one* after waking from a dream where I just relive life with my ex. It was so normal and fine and we did things such as lay around in bed and make plans for the day, go to the Korean supermarket on the corner, go to a friend's house together.

#*if it were in the evening i would be drinking enough to finally drink dial and just fucking ASK all the questions i am making up answers to #what did you want? what do you want now?? honestly could you find it in your heart to hate me and never wanna see me again? #because me saying 'i don't think we should talk for a while' and you saying 'id really like to be friends' are obviously Not It #omg im going to spend my birthday alone for the first time....nearly ever and im just going to go to work and be miserable #i havent been able to stop chewing on the idea of me visiting when i head down to see the fam for christmases #i want him to want me back sooooo bad!!!! #i still think about that dream where i made him pasta #would i take him back? depends on what he said #as much as im pathetic im not an idiot and id need clear evidence to show that he 1. knows what he wants (involving me) and #2. is going to ask for it #because i don't think i ever heard him say a single thing about what he wanted for our future #never said 'hey i want to see you when are you free for me to come up?' #is probably fucking dating now anyway and doesnt WANT me to remember him on new years (our best guess anniversary) #or ask to call because i want to ask questions that will be hard to answer #when all ive ever wanted is the TRUTH #not the strategic answer just the gods honest truth #and i suspect that is 'i dont want to date you i havent for a while i didnt know how to stop or what i wanted instead' #and then i could go home break every object in ny house and move on #try a dating app ot something else to attempt to look forward instead of back #so as you can see -totally normal one

[baby-prophet]

the fact that my coworkers have invited one of our managers to smoke with them but not me pisses me off

#like they know im a stoner #they didnt know if he was #turns out he hates it lmaoo #said he only smokes with his brother very very rarely #and he never inhales it and fake coughs lmaoo #norm.allie #i think they dont like me bc im also friends with liz who they fucking hate #the drama at work is crazy #i wonder what they say about me behind my back #plus its fucking weird to want to smoke with your boss #bc they dont see him like a boss since hes new and a people pleaser #so they take advantage of him #hes like the easy parent you know #he needs to learn how to speak up #also literally bc he mumbles sooooo badly its annoying #ALSO he really doesnt like one of them like at all #bc she shirks her duties so bad and follows all the boys around #so much drama LOL

[vzajemnik]

feeling like shit like a loser like everything ive done this past year didnt matter

#🗞️ #had a dream a guy from my past (that bitch as i call him on here) messaged me and i just let him........ #i replied INSTANTLY and just let him act like nothing bad happened between us #and it fucking sucks bc i know id do sth like that irl but i was SURE id be more. idk. snarky towards him. not reply instantly. or whatever #the convo was also sooooo eerily similiar to how we used to text and god i hate it so much #at least one of us had to be drunk to text the other person and he was drunk out of his mind texting me and oh my fucking godddddd #maybe im so pissed at myself bc idk i feel like i should have a reaction of. ew i dont even wanna think about him ever again #thank god we havent seen each other in well over a year #thank god we havent talked tor even more than that #but no im just lying there feeling like shit bc a part of me knows if hed message me irl i would jumo to reply instantly etc etc #WHAT even. god. eugh

[arcadeghozt]

trying soo hard to shut up abt the way barry’s character was handled in the post-coma seasons but the more i think abt it the more pissed off i get what in gods name were they thinkingggg

#i wanna move on bc i know im getting annoying but :/ this sucks so bad. they massacred my boy LITERALLY </3 #👻.evp #like its not even just the lack of him getting anything in s13 #but also them never further exploring his redemption arc in any actual depth #or taking time to explore his new dynamics w the team or even just any of the wider implications this character shift of his brings #hell even his friendship w archer is ridiculously underdeveloped for how much history they have. wheres the nuance. wheres the flavor. #itz soo frustrating this is such an interesting new direction to take him so why dont they do ANYTHTJNG WITH HIM #AND 12x8 DONT GET ME STARTED. barry’s repressed resentment towards archer was finally given some more focus #yet it wasnt rly. touched on. in any depth or detail. #like they just parroted the same shit we’ve known for years #instead of actually delving into what this means for them now that they’ve grown as friends #there were instances here and there where it felt like they were going to get into it but they never committed #i keep saying it but my god he was sooooo lazily integrated into this episode it drives me crazy. what was the point. #like it genuinely feels like they only included him here to heighten the stakes rather than out of an actual desire to continue his arc #which like. ok fine if that was the initial plan but also u can do both its not that hard i prommy #makes me so mad i was SOO EXCITED for this episode when it was set to air #and it ended up being one of the biggest disappointments in this shows run to me. mission: difficult my detested i HATE UUUUUUUUU 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹 #like if thats truly the last we’ll ever see or hear from him again thats rly fuckin disappointing :[ what a lame way to send him off #on top of that there’s zero followup to any of this shit in s13 #like i dont expect him to be a primary character or whatever but like. why didnt they even attempt to provide any closure #let the man haunt the narrative a lil or SOMETHING #archer watched him die in his arms and now he has to work under the man who’s indirectly responsible for it #and u have NOTHING to say on that??? HUH???? #like. aauuuuuuugh idk man this shows so annoyinggggg #there was sooo much potential here but the execution of it all was just so boringgg IT COULDA BEEN GOOD IF THEY CARED MORE THAN NOT AT ALL #whatever i guess who fucking cares. anyway cookie batter

[solardistress]

SIGHS. TIME TO BLAST MY MUSIC AGAIN. IUURUUUGHG...

#MATH HURTS I HATE MATH #ME AND THE HOMIES HATE MATH !!!!! #sorry #i am really angry bc i just dont. its sooooo much work this is stupid #i dont actually hate math actually its pretty easy when you know what youre doing #mistakes are normal in the process actually #but its just. uuughh. the WORK. and also the fact im struggling to understand whatever the fuck we are doing in this damn class

[hobimo]

finished hate reading for the week haha

#i thought.... this fic couldnt get worse #i was wrong #what the fuck did i just read. what the fuck #how the hell are we supposed to ROOT for jk when hes sooooo fucking annoyung #he is LITERALLY a spoiled brat #and jimin is so fucking insecure its insane #but hes also a girlboss somehow #“trauma” counter went insane this week #how many times do you have to say that word to try and make me believe your no stakes ass fic has an impact on the characters #you know how sometimes you can just tell. the emotional immaturity of a writr #the way she talks abt grief should be illegal. i know youve never grieved anyone but at least try and be respectfu #also............ why make it pack dynamics a/b/o if you DONT INCLUDE. ANY OF THE PACK DYNAMICS A/B/O #sorry. the major conflict with the villain this week invovled them SLAPPING each other #no im not joking. they slapped each other #like a pair of kids #the guy who kidnapped jimin last chapter. #yeah i dont. i dont even wanna think abt this chpater anymore #worst one yet #do nottttt hate read.... its not worth it #im in so much pain right now

[so-na-gi]

2 things;

i feel like shit. 1 hour crying = free noko🐼 makeup (i;m not even going to fix my makeup i'll just go out like this. who tf cares)

i finished the witcher s1 yay. geralt (passed out for 99% of the episode) my sole support

#it's interesting because considering the pace i'd guess season 3 should cover what's in the game but i could be wrong since i have no idea #of the length of plot geralt + ciri at kaer morhen would cover #btw are witchers like .. immortal #oh and i also wonder if you can get the black eyes in the game from some potion..ive not tried much alchemy yet #ANY way this week is just really not it and i feel like shit and am so pissed. honestly geralt saved me somewhat but i am sooooo pissed #and sleep deprived #to quote a random ass essay i found in an 1998 anthology among my library's throwaway books #those who steal your time are murdering you #and the bitch at the ..how tf do you say salter in english #ho0nestly im too tired for this #like i understand somewhat because working at a salter is certainly not my dream #but still fuck off #every day im one step closer to becoming a karen. and they would deserve it. but unfortunately i dont have it in me #i dont know enough swear words in serbian #*you know what? no. she's not valid to be a bitch for no reason even if she hates her job. what's that got to do with me

[arolesbianism]

Used my epic hacker skillz to put Murtlepaw in clangen just to do 4 moons to make sure Honeystar wasn't going to die before they became a warrior and now that save is retired 4 good goodbye sweet prince

#rat rambles #idk I might pick it back up for the bit at some point but from here on out its just the static setdressing for my brain to play with #also I accidentally made it so murtlepaw was stilled named murtlepaw as a warrior and yknow what. its canon now its a cute name idc #bestie was just like hey I know you just did this whole party to change my name but I kinda hate it can I just keep the paw bit #and honeystar was like huh. nobody has ever asked for that before. well I dont see why not I guess?? #but yeah tomorrow Im gonna do the 4 moons of passed time for everyone else to see if anyone explodes or smth #well ok maybe not everyone since I wanna document their current stats first and thats gonna take a while since theres a Lot of cats #but I do wanna at least figure out who else I want to be relevant #I know in mink clan I want one of the firestar kids to be relevant since. 3 of their siblings died right in front of them recently #the 5 of them went out on a fun apprentice outing but got jumped and 3 of them died #and soon after the old leader ratstar also died leaving the kids mom firenip to become leader right as murtlepaw is joining elm clan #I think that could be a fun way to start some more cross clan drama and I think having one or both of the kids befriend murtlepaw would fit #nicely with the general themes of the story I have in my head so far #Im also considering including the new mediator of eagle clan since he has mommy issues and by that I mean his mom is pushing him to ruin #the relationship of the current leader and deputy #but he also might be a bit too old to land a main main character spot but he'll be important either way #and crag clan sure exists idk Ill figure smth out #I finally killed their old leader tho I hated that old man sooooo much #I had initially given him a bloodthirsty deputy for the drama but then she died and he chose the random kittypet they picked up a few moons #ago to be deputy so hey daisystar it is then Im not complaining I like him hes cute #+ he was in fact a good mentor and is quite experienced while still being relatively young so all in all not a bad choice #his deputy choice was a bit questionable tho since the cat he chose was rly young #but they technically had trained an apprentice so. sure. #in my minds eye he chose them because they were his old apprentice and as a result the only warrior he has a lot of faith in #mostly cause thats who hes spent the most time with #anyways I need to sleep now gn

[imma-lil-sunshy]

why have I seen sticker slander on my dash when I left Stan twt bc I was sick of seeing bad takes abt it 😔 I can't win

#amdkmdmf im jk #i left bc i hate army #but that night sucked bc i dont even care if ppl like or dont like sticker #but the fucking think pieces coming out on either side of it #pissed me off sooooo much lmao #ITS A FUCKKNG SONG??? #listen or dont listen!!! #stop writing essays 😅 #but u know what #127s power they had everybody talking so