#I could never fuckin write a novel

[valiants]

every time I read one of ur comics I think this but never say so I will now, but i love your use of colour.

i'm re-reading ur regency AU run, and the way it bleeds into the people and then the places - like the emotion of seeing and wanting and loving makes existence real in a way it hadn't been before. the sense that simon wasn't fully present until johnny comes into his life, the sense that johnny represents reality both through his grounded nature to the world but also the overwhealming emotion which manifests from him.

anf for johnny, that strong emotion and desire only becoming fully present when johnny sees simons skin and then for both that colour bleeding out into the world from the body of the person the other loves! the world begins for each of them with the skin of the other and you show this through the use of like, the colour pink!

thats graphic novels babey thats art!

it's so glorious i could write mini essays about each of ur peices but the regency au rlly seems to encapsulate it. just amazing.

Losing my entire mind about "the world begins for each of them with the skin of the other".……. fuckin… write me to death my love

#thank you for the messages they are destroying me

[taylor-titmouse]

2023 Book Retrospective

it's pretty much the end of the year, and i've never done this before, but i wanted to take a look at what i managed to do in 2023 and share some of my thoughts on it! i published five novellas this year (though i didn't actually write one of them) plus the public release of the demo and first huge update to You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain. that's a lot!

so let's dig into all that. this will contain some spoilers for the books, because it's hard to talk about them without talking about what's in 'em, so maybe check out my itchio first and grab anything you missed! (but also.... perhaps wait until this weekend before you buy anything. shh.)

You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain, released in March

TECHNICALLY, the demo was finished and available on patreon around the end of last year, and didn't become public until I'd finished the garden update, which i did finish this year. and what a massive fuckin THING that was. 60k words! 50 illustrations!! the biggest thing i ever put out and technically finished, and the beginning of a move to being less afraid of writing "weird" sex. there was so much bee sex in it. arguably too much bee sex in it. which i'd left entirely til last to do which meant i was writing nothing but bee sex for weeks.

this was the first time i let myself really indulge in writing dubcon for the bad endings, and it was a lot of fun. very often it was more interesting than the deliberately horny routes, because it meant writing a way to be put in the situation, and also making it hot every time. i'm very much of the philosophy with dubcon that even if the situation wasn't Ideal for the character, they're still going to get good sex out of it. i believe i put it at another point as, i'm here to write the pleasure of helplessness, not suffering. to that point, the dubcon endings for the armor, the dryad, and the queen bee were my favorite bits from this.

the fact i never got a second update out this year is a big regret. i finished a bunch of the routes for it, but ultimately i wanted to have things i could release! shortly after publishing the demo and update, i officially put my webcomic on hiatus so i could focus more on my graphic novel, and also spend more time on my writing. having that extra time is probably the only reason i was able to write as much as i did this year, and i didn't want to spend it toiling away on a serial project i couldn't release for months at a time.

which leads us to the release of my first novella of the year...

House of the Risen King, released in April

now this is when i truly said "i'm just going to write what i think is hot and interesting and not worry about how it's perceived!!" and went whole hog on exhibitionism and monster dubcon cult horror. house was mostly inspired by the ending of Hereditary, and was originally going to be more poltergiesty and played more straight, with vee being harangued by a bunch of horny ghost-demons and nothing more sinister than that. but i've had cult shit percolating at the back of my brain forever, and i wanted to play with ideas i'd first developed in shadow in the shelves with rituals and shadows, so here we are! the scene of hettie fingering vee in the bathtub while vee's god-fucked out of her mind is my favorite.

fun fact, the original seed for this book was actually going to feature max and mortis, my photographer/model couple (that link goes to cohost because i wasn't posting here yet when i was drawing them the most). the idea was they'd go do an urban exploration shoot and mortis would start getting fucked by a ghost while max filmed it, but the more time i spent with those characters the less i wanted to involve the supernatural. which meant i never wrote their book, and had to make a new character to do the idea. and then it wasn't even that idea anymore.

that's writing, folks

Roger Crenshaw: The Dogs at Duskfall, released in June

... which makes it ironic that the next book is one i didn't even write! r/l monroe @mortalityplays has been my friend for years, and was my editor for a long time (until he got a REAL JOB and didn't have TIME to edit anymore. sobs, cries, kicks a stone and walks into the distance). he's also always been an incredible writer, and for my birthday this year i asked him to write me something. i asked with the expectation of a little short story about our old tabletop RP characters, or a fanfic scene for one of my books he'd edited.

and then he wrote me 20,000+ words digging into the character of roger crenshaw and who he is that perfectly summed him up and tied all his stories together, such that i don't think i ever need to write another one. he did it, he wrote the perfect ending to roger. AND he did it using my favorite of his ocs from our tabletop campaign, AND there's some really hot and sweet smut in it. AND HE DID IT IN LIKE TWO WEEKS.

i loved it so much that i asked if i could illustrate and publish it as an official novella, and to my delight he agreed, and it was so so nice to collaborate with him on it. even if it meant beating our heads against the wall for 30 minutes about the placement of certain images on the page.

this was a great tragedy. i'd drawn the vagina one first, but an image earlier in the book had to be moved, which affected the placement of everything else. the vagina image had been perfectly at the start of a new page, and then suddenly it wasn't. so i had to do the penis one instead for better placement. tragic!!!

it's hard to pick a favorite scene in something written entirely, lovingly for you. how can i choose between the characters' pitch perfect semantic arguments on the nature of folk lore, the millenium princess-ass memory hopping, or the really really hot smut? i can't. i love it all. thank you r/l for being so good at what you do and writing this for me, i'll treasure it always.

The Dragon Double Feature, released in May

apparently this came out in may, and not july. i don't know why i've been convinced this came out in july. oh well i can't be bothered to insert it on top of the roger one.

anyway. THIS book. this book exists because i believe at the time i was a bit blocked, and wanted to just write SOMETHING. for a long time i've had the idea of a dragon wrecking a princess' wedding and fucking her in front of the congregation just sitting in my back pocket. it was the 'i know i could just slam this out if i wanted. i don't have to care about it it's just sex and then it's done' fallback idea, and i finally did it!

and then it was too short. i don't like the idea of publishing anything less than 10k words for full price, so i was like. okay. alright. i've always thought fucking an eastern dragon would be hot and have this other idea i was going to use for roger (back when i had an idea for every monster possible for roger), let's just write that. kenta is only kenta because i took a poll for what body type i should pair with a dragon (he was 'big boy', i think the other options were twink, older woman, and average woman). and i was also Really into the movie inu-oh at the time, which is probably obvious with kenta being a blind musician, lol.

the musician and the waterfall was tougher to write because i didn't have a clear vision of how it should end or even how they should fuck (the mechanics of fucking long noodle dragon have challenged me for years) but i'm ultimately pleased with it. it would have been a long time since i wrote something sincerely romantic, and it was nice to go back to it. i'm a HUGE romantic at heart.

both stories are pretty much one extended scene so it's hard to pick a favorite moment from them, but i will say i'm very pleased with how i approached writing the musician and the waterfall, specifically in the challenge i set myself to never use visual description kenta couldn't reasonably guess. writing from the POV of a blind man made me focus in on different senses and ways to describe them.

this book is also, as of right now, my best seller. which is great! i love that for me.

The Dragon Double Feature 2, released in July

okay i guess THIS one released in july.

anyway i got stricken with the curse with this one. a lot of people wanted me to write a sequel, but i wasn't going to. and every time i say i'm not going to do something, i end up doing it. it's so annoying. this one only happened because i wanted to write a SHORT! a SHORT extra for patreon describing kenta and wakatake's first time having sex as humans.

and then i wrote too much preamble describing their time on the beach. and then i got emotionally invested in unpacking their actual relationship, and also added a third character with mrs arakawa, and had to bring it all together into a story that was coherent and had something to say about the way they loved and ALSO ended in a THREESOME because WHATS THE POINT OF INTRODUCING A THIRD CHARACTER if they aren't all going to FUCK TOGETHER!!

it was tough. but i'm really, really happy with it in the end, and think it's one of the best things i've ever written. my favorite scene is definitely them playing with the hermit crab on the beach. metaphors babie.

the gundrid/eveline story is fine too. lmao. i NEVER PLANNED TO WRITE ANOTHER WITH THEM!! i only did it because the idea of publishing a sequel to a story from a double feature without writing a sequel to the other half of the feature was insane. and now eveline and gundrid are some of my most beloved characters, to the point of writing another book featuring them...

The Tenebrous Tower, released November

yet another book i'm pretty sure i was like 'i don't need to write this. this character doesn't work for a story on his own, what am i ever gonna do with him' and then i dumped a bunch of fantasy characters into a jar with him and suddenly i had a story. I ONLY MADE ROMICK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DRAW FUCKED UP WIZARD PORN AND MY ONLY OTHER OPTION WAS A GRANDPA!!!

anyway i started writing it as something to do on vacation, and it was just gonna be a bunch of dungeon bdsm vignettes until i hit on a throughline and suddenly i had a story and an emotional arc and damn i did it again. i did it again. i have a book.

i was expecting this one not to do very well because it had multiple prerequisites, but because i am a master of my craft i made sure to write it so you didn't need to read those. and then people read it without reading those. so it worked out anyway and now it's done just about as well as dragons 2. the people love romick, but they especially love the idea of him being destroyed. maybe someday. maybe someday. (except on patreon, where it's already happened)

the final vignette with the doll is, of course my favorite. i think it was a lot of people's favorites.

............................................

and that's everything i published this year! honorable mention to my novel starbuster, which i'd written most of last year, then spent all of october this year revising with the intent of finishing it, only to run out of steam by the time i was done revising it. so it's exactly where i left it last year. just better written. god it would be nice to finish that fuckin thing next year.

my goals for 2024 are, of course: release more books!! i have a big project i've been working on illustrating for the past month that i'd like to release in january, and i've also been working on a spin-off one-shot with mrs arakawa and an oni. i think this coming year i want to Try to blast through some of the one-off ideas i developed this year so they'll quit banging cowbells in my brain. like the sleeping garden. it makes me insane i never actually wrote the sleeping garden.

anyway if you actually made it to the end of this, thank you!! if you've bought all of these books, double thank you!!! i've been able to pay my rent and expenses just with my adult work this year, and it's been amazing and fun and super fulfilling. thank you for supporting me in 2023, here's to a horny 2024!!

#tt talks writing #taylor titmouse

[respectthepetty]

do you happen to have any other bls with toxic kings up your sleeve? i’m as giddy as you when it comes to ming! i’m newer to bls, so there’s a good chance i haven’t seen whatever you suggest.

Anon, I have an entire roster of toxic characters because

I LOVE TOXIC BITCHES!

Like 2 Chainz rapped on one of my favorite songs, "I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem" which is why I HATE when a story won't allow characters to be toxic. Like we all know the character IS toxic, but the story keeps telling us he isn't that bad or he is only that bad because reasons. Regardless of the reasons, the character is a bad bitch so why not just let him fucking own it, which is truly the reason Only Friends pissed me off so much.

Case and point, my favorite characters were Ray and Nick. Ray was calling Sand a whore every two seconds and throwing money at him, while Nick was recording non-consexual sex tapes, yet the narrative wanted me to think they were just sad dudes who were slightly problematic.

NAH! Nick straight up said he was trash! THEY WERE TOXIC just like everyone else in that damn show!

Which is why I liked Kang in Dangerous Romance because I don't feel like the narrative eased up on his toxicity. In fact, I feel like the story said Sailom was into it with that master/servant scene at the very end.

So in order for me to love a toxic character, they must 1) be considered toxic by the story, and 2) stay toxic, so I'm going to give you a list of ten of my favorites, but know that spoilers are coming your way too. Also know that I do not recommend anything, ever, so these are not recommendations. These are merely my favorite toxicitos.

Mis tóxicos favoritos

presented in no particular order

Todd - Not Me

This man had his lover (it's canon to me) beat into a coma. Then, he went and grabbed that man's twin brother and made him take on his lover's persona all so he could overthrow his competition and be the number one evil capitalist. And then, AND THEN, he was excited to see his lover, Black, return even though he knew that meant he was probably going to die. Honestly, his entire relationship with Black was toxic, and I desperately need more of it. Not Me 2: Blackout when? WHEN, GMMTV?!

Rio & Kido - The Novelist Series

Rio blew Kido in front of an old man in broad daylight, so they could get a book deal. That's just one of the many fucked up things these two did together, but they were even worse apart. Rio lied to a college student for months about his arm being injured and writing pornographic novels just to turn on the college student and fuck him because . . . he was bored? It's deeper than that, but it kinda ain't. Rio and Kido did toxic shit to feel alive and that's my special brand of toxic. I will never make excuses for them. I like them this way.

Yai - Big Dragon

The very beginning of this show, as in the very first scene, is Yai and Mangkorn having sex AFTER Yai drugged Mangkorn in hopes of sexually assaulting him and recording it. AND MANGKORN IS INTO IT! Yai tries to steal Mangkorn's phone and ruin his life too, but Mangkorn is so in love with Yai, that he is willing to play along with whatever Yai does including fighting Yai. This is one of my favorite BLs for a multitude of reasons, but the biggest is because instead of trying to tame Yai, Mangkorn just decided to match his toxic energy! I love that for them.

Songpol - Club Friday

Bank plays toxic very well, which is why he has two characters on this list, even though this show isn't technically a BL. Club Friday is already a hot mess express, so to be the most toxic character in a show filled with toxic characters means that Songpol was TOK-SICK! He cheated on his boyfriend with multiple men. When his boyfriend left him for a woman, he showed up outside of that woman's house calling her a whore. He then went to their wedding just so he could fuck his ex in a bathroom (on his wedding day). He continued to hook up with his ex, and sent a video to his ex's wife of them having sex, only for her to tell him to move into the house and continue having sex with her husband! AND THAT'S ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE! He was serving telenovela villain, and I want him back.

Vegas - KinnPorsche

The scene: Vegas' beloved hedgehog has just died and he has carried out a tiny funeral for him while the bodyguard he has been holding hostage AND TORTURING comforts him, but instead of sitting in that grief, Vegas tells the bodyguard that the bodyguard is probably turned on by seeing Vegas weak, then proceeds to fuck him. Skipping over the fact that Vegas drugged Porsche, killed Tawan, got Big and Ken murdered by extension, and a plethora of other horrible shit, Vegas was a HUGE red flag from the very beginning, and I wanted him to choke me so badly. *bites knuckles*

Charn - Laws of Attraction

He had his reasons, but the story and his husband didn't let that be an excuse for his toxic behavior. He tried burning down Tinn's house, with Tinn and his grandmother in it, and Tinn was very upset about it. Not enough to not sleep with Charn, but enough to get his point across that if Charn wanted to burn something down, he needed to focus on burning down the oppressive heteronormative government, so we could all have basic human rights. Toxic, but for the cause.

Chalothon - The Sign

I knew he was a problem because the way he handled his patients, but he truly proved how toxic he was when he told Phaya he would kill Tharn before letting Phaya have him. I'm mad that the show made him good in the last episode, with most of if being off-screen, but I'll always remember how he committed psychological warfare on Phaya for eleven episodes in hopes of making Phaya seem crazy, and actually made Tharn, Phaya's soulmate, question Phaya's sanity.

Mol - 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

The only woman on this list and she isn't even queer. That's how toxic this chick was that she made it on a this list being a heterosexual, which was a major part of her toxicity. She is a top-tier gaslighter to her son. She doesn't actually consider Inn her friend. She uses feminist rhetoric to be homophobic. She manipulates every situation in her favor by using tears. I could write a list just about her being lead paint toxic, but the most fucked up part is that she got to ride off into the sunset with her son in the passenger seat being miserable, which is what she wanted. No other BL parent could reach her level. Korn and Gun from KinnPorsche exist, yet this woman would eat them alive without hesitation, then go throw a party for herself. She really is that bitch.

Yong Jie - HIStory 4: Close to You

I'm not going to bullshit around him being a whole ass problem. This motherfucker is the most controversial pick on this list, and I am well aware of why he is hated by the people, but the story told us he was the devil. The show treated everything he did like stalking, physical assault, and sexual assault as horrible, and he got knocked out for it. HIStory 4 is my favorite BL, ever, and part of it is because the story let this toxic motherfucker BE toxic. I love how much I hate him, and I love how much the story allows me to hate him.

So - House of Stars

This show was a mess, so I was not expecting this man to come out as THE toxic king to rule over every other toxic character. What made him so toxic is that I had no idea just how toxic he was until the exact moment I realized it, and that's why he is one of my favorites. He was sneaky. He was playing everyone against each other. He was letting the bodies stack up. He was Tan from Dead Friend Forever without anyone figuring out he was Tan. One person realized part of his plan, but even then, that person was not aware of how committed to the bit So was. This smile was the very last scene of the show, and it really proved that this boy ruined everyone's lives only to walk out of it completely unbothered. You know, king shit.

#toxic kings #I love toxic bitches #it's the unhinged behavior and mind games that always gets me #house of stars #history 4: close to you #180 degree longitude passes through us #club friday #kinnporsche #big dragon #laws of attraction #the sign #not me #the novelist

[orcboxer]

Fanfiction is a great practice tool for new writers, it's kind of like training wheels because, generally speaking, it can help you practice storytelling without having to worry about introducing things like characters or setting. Your readers are already sold on those, which takes care of a lot of the initial heavy lifting. It's also a great, artistic form of critique, and thus is a vital part of the literary ecosystem.

But y'all really oughtta dip into original fiction more. For writers, making original fiction is a whole different beast, and not only does it teach you a hell of a lot about writing in general, but it can be, in its own right, an extremely fulfilling form of self-expression.

For readers, there are more settings and characters out there than you could ever read in a lifetime and so many of them kick massive ass.

There are so many indie authors out there whose work never gets the attention it deserves because they don't have marketing teams and 90% of word-of-mouth recommendations on this site are for fanfics endlessly rehashing the same 12 franchises. Hell, pick a random writing prompt post and half the notes will be like "someone send me a fanfic about thisssss" like I guarantee there's an indie novel out there for any given prompt, and not only would you be supporting an underpaid author, but I bet you'll fuckin love it. And then you could make fanfics about that, and the author will probably be thrilled.

Please just give original fiction a shot, because it's gettin kind of depressing out here

#orcspeak #fanfic #writing #i don't hate fanfic! i really don't! but my notes are filled with nothin but fanfic recs... on posts that ain't about fandom #I'm always readin original indie fiction and I'm like god i wish these authors got so much more attention #plus i can never find any good writing communities here that ain't exclusively about fanfic

[atyourmerci]

✩maddas mind✩

atyourmerci masterpost

As promised the 1K follower cele!!!

✩ ✩

maddas fic rec hall of fame

(The ones I could find)

Deliverance

Priest abby. When I tell you I think about this daily. Truly one of the most immersive erotic forms of POETRY I’ve ever read. World building, character development, BANTER- there’s not a thing I’d change about this.

I do desire we may be better strangers

Childhood best friend abby. This story wrecked me in the most beautiful way. I messaged the author after reading because I needed to know EVERYTHING about the dynamic of abby and reader. This inspired to the light is to the darkness I was so hung up on the world. such a tender story.

Are you sure miss

I was such a holdout on farm abby at first but I read this and it literally flipped a switch in my brain. Anything rose writes I’m fuckin sat but this one holds so dearly to my southern heart. Also this story inspired ‘anything for you miss’ that will probably see the light of day 40 years from now

Perfect sin

One of the first authors/fics I read for abby so this holds dear to me. Got me into sub!abby. I have reread this fic a couple times it’s so beautifully crafted.

I know it when I see it

Pornstar Joel. God Idek where to start on this fic. At this point it could be a novel, a movie, a tv series that people would fucking eat alive. I think about this daily. My friend introduced me and we talk about this story everytime we have fic discussion coffee dates.

✩ ✩

maddas fan art hall of fame

Beanie abby

I am kaitie’s #1 meat rider. I have this photo printed out into a Polaroid bc I’m clinically obsessed

Ellabs

This art single handedly turned me into an ellabs apologist

Cowboy abby

No thoughts just abby in a cowboy hat. World shattering

✩ ✩

me me me!

I’m 21 (cancer baby<3) southern belle born and raised in the south (yeehaw) (my friends horse not mine)

Some of my fav artists: Lana, Paramore, Sza, backseat lovers, Nirvana, deftones, tv girl, snail mail, Chappell, lil Wayne

Interests: horror films (esp old ones), fun little drinks, I make my own jewelry!, reading/writing, the moon, wine and a gotdamn cigarette(I’m old okay)

I’m in school to be a marriage and family therapist but currently I’m a nanny :)

I fall somewhere deep between being an introvert and an extrovert. I love clubbing but I also love going nonverbal in my bed

In my free time I do yoga, read, and have existential crisis about comprehending my worth on this planet

As pictured above that’s my son Venus. I got him from someone I met off tinder (prob don’t do this)

This is all that I could think of but if you wanna know anything just ask! I’m an open book and love interacting with you guys :)

✩ ✩

Thank you so much for 1K I truly cannot even fathom this currently. I never thought anyone would be interested in reading my deranged thoughts and mind but yet here we are. Love ya like always <3

#maddamilestones #maddarants #abby anderson #the last of us #abby anderson smut #abby x reader

[venteas]

now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fuckin' dream i'm living in - genshin fic

ft. yae miko, ei, zhongli, jean, neuvilette

summary: they've left the universe, but are still watching you from above <3 (letters from them to you after they're gone, take that as you will, but it is heavily implied that they are dead)

YAE MIKO! my dearest yn, i have so much to tell you. there's so much i've seen here, and i wish with all my heart that you could be here with me. don't get me wrong, little one, i do believe you should stay a little longer, just to experience the whole of teyvat (and please send me all your stories, i just love reading them over fried tofu), but it'd be nice to have someone here with me to experience these wonderful things. i've met some old friends now, and we've caught up on so much. who knew a few hundred years could change someone so drastically, yet retain their essence? i wonder when you journey here, will you still be the same? oh, it'd be interesting, don't you think? it'd make a terrific novel. 'world-renowned traveller traverses the afterlife, how do they fare?', a fine title for an article, isn't that right? well, i should probably get going now. there's so much to do, and so much to see. do tell ei to write me back sometime, it would be lovely to hear from her again. and you, little one, should write to me too. hehe, the stories from your travels are always amusing, after all. with love, fried tofu with all the frills

EI! dear yn, how have you been? it must be awfully tiring, travelling around. i do hope you get the proper rest you need. there's always desserts in inazuma, feel free to stop by and help yourself to some. oh, and how is little paimon doing? i remember she quite enjoyed the sweets we shared on a number of our walks. frankly, it's been rather relaxing here. i enjoy it very much. it would be a great pleasure if you could visit one day, but that'd mean your journey would come to an end, and i know you have your sibling to find. i am regretful that i am unable to provide much information on her, but i've heard stories of a traveller very much like you, from centuries ago. they say that the traveller was brave, valiant and kind-hearted, much like you. it is at times like these that i realise i have missed so much, meditating in the plane of euthymia. i dearly wish that i had more time with my people, and you, of course, to truly understand the wonders of this world. do that for me, won't you? live your life out to the fullest. do not leave behind any regrets. and when we meet again, you will tell me all about your adventures. oh, and bring some desserts for me, please. thank you. yours sincerely, ei

ZHONGLI! yn, it has been a while since we last corresponded. how have you been doing? i heard that you are currently in fontaine. it is a beautiful place, i must admit. one full of history and culture and stories. if we have time, let us sit down with osmanthus wine and i shall tell you the stories i've heard. there's a story told in liyue, of a man who plays the guqin and another, a lumberjack, who understood his playing. it is said that the guqin player and the lumberjack agreed to meet at the very place they met a year later. tragically, the lumberjack met his end before he could fulfill this promise. wrecked with grief, the guqin player vowed to never touch even a string again, destroying his instrument, for what use would there be if there was no one else who would understand him? hearing this story again, it reminded me of you. who else had such empathy that they could understand the will of the divine? that said, you do have many other nations in teyvat to explore. throughout your journey, you will meet gods in disguise, and mortals disguised as gods. you will meet the soft-hearted, and the cruel. and you will survive it all, for you are an adventurer, above gods and deities, above the Heavenly Principles. please do visit me when you have time. i'd love to have a drink or two with you someday. and if you could, do check up on liyue sometime. i know they are well, but as a mortal, i never got the chance to experience it fully. it would mean a lot if you could do it in my stead. childe should have enough funds, should you need any. yours, zhongli

JEAN! my lovely yn, i heard you are doing well. that's good to hear, really. your job as an adventurer comes with its risks, and though they may not show it, but the knights of favonius often worry about your safety. haha, on more than one occasion, i've caught a few of them in the tavern wondering about you. do visit mondstadt more often to put their mind at ease, yeah? speaking of mondstadt, how are things over there? i left in such a rush that i wonder if things are frenzied. oh, i know i shouldn't worry, but i don't want everyone to pick up after me. you know how lisa hates doing work. kaeya's often busy too, travelling to sumeru and whatnot. albedo and sucrose are often busy with their experiments too, so i doubt they'd have time. and amber! how is she? poor girl, i heard her father passed on recently. she will get through it, i'm sure. and little klee, oh, i hope someone's able to keep her company. ah, am i rambling too much? i apologise, i've just been so worried over them. if you don't mind me asking, how has barbara been? i was her only family, since she isn't that close to the ragndinvr brothers, but i was always swamped with work. i do hope she's doing better. i never did get the chance to say i'm proud of all that she's accomplished now, did i? in that sense, i think i've failed terribly. enough about me, though. where has the wind taken you to? what else have you seen? and paimon, she's still with you, isn't she? take care of each other, both of you. come back to mondstadt when you need a break, its doors are always open for you. i hope to see you again, dear yn. may the wind bless your travels. best regards, jean gunnhildr NEUVILETTE! dear yn, ahem, is that how you start an informal letter? i apologise in advance, i am unused to sending such letters. now that you have left fontaine, things have strangely been a little duller. i often find myself looking up from my desk, waiting to see your face as you hand over a bottle of water from yet another one of your travel destinations. i thought i had sampled water from all over, but alas, you have once again proven me wrong. it was always a delight, however, to watch your expressions as i comment on the taste. i think, in some ways, it has helped me identify the subtle cues of humans. for example, when you lean in just a little when i speak, it shows your interest in my opinion. conversely, when your fingers start fidgeting, i know i've overstepped. i do not wish to bore you with an incredibly long letter, so i shall keep this as concise as possible. as you travel across teyvat, you will face victories and defeat. i know that your fairy companion will, sooner or later, tell you this, but you need to know that you are a traveller unlike any other. you are stronger than most, kinder than most. your strengths are built from your weaknesses, so one loss is just another stepping stone. with that said, i wish you all the best in your travels. when the time comes, let us sit down and have a meal, my treat. warmest regards, neuvilette

a/n: the story mentioned in zhongli's part is actually true! it's about 伯牙, a guqin player who wrote 水仙操 and 钟子期, a woodcutter. their story is more about their devotion towards each other as friends despite the staggering difference in class. you can read about them here.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #yae miko x reader #raiden shogun x reader #ei x reader #raiden ei x reader #zhongli x reader #jean x reader #neuvilette x reader #yae miko #raiden shogun #raiden ei #zhongli #jean #neuvilette #angst

[lowkeyrobin]

Mid90s gang reacting to reader writing a book about them and their friendship and reader wins a writing contest!!

- ♣️ (I'm giving you fluff okay I've decided I've tortured you enough with angst 🙄)

LMFAO YES YOU HAVE and I've been procrastinating those oneshots you sent me 💀💀

MID90S ; writer

includes ; fuckshit, ray, fourthgrade, ruben (platonic), & stevie (platonic)

warnings ; language, mentions of alcohol and drugs

masterlist

FUCKSHIT

you were no writer what-so-fucking-ever

while high, he dared you to enter some writing contest for school

"how funny would it be if some random junior won?"

honestly it would be funny, considering you're not a writer, you're a skater

you entered just for the fun of it, plus you had a great chance at beating some of the other contestants because you knew their writing was shit

you didn't even know what to write for the first two weeks

then it popped up in your head, like holy shit it was so obvious

you decided to write about yours and fuckshits long friendship history

from how you met, to your nicknames and to your other friends

let's just say, other than the profanity, the judges/senior english teachers loved it

you wrote like a whole motherfucking novel too

you got second place, considering they'd be in trouble for awarding a book with so much inappropriate content with first

plus the person who won first definitely deserved it

teachers were literally suggesting you publish the fuckin thing too like calm down ⁉️⁉️

fuckshit was too lazy to read it at first, but once you told him it was about you two and that you won second place? nah reading that was all he did

I honestly hc that he's a little dyslexic so he was struggling a little bit

but he loved it, it was genuinely moving to him and its literally about him

brought him to tears that he tried to hide

which he did to help his fragile ego by hugging you and hiding his face in your shoulder

genuinley so grateful for you

RAY

you were kinda iffy with writing

but once you saw the amount of money you could get from winning...?

shit sign me up

a thousand dollars to win first off of something you wrote? okay let's go LMAO

you didn't know what to write about because it's not like there was a given prompt so you just kinda spilled out stories and shit about you and ray

you made sure to leave out all the drugs and shit because you weren't gonna try and get in trouble LMAO honestly real

the judges loved it though

it was about 104 pages, so you made the actual like minimum, which was 80 pages

but thankfully for you, quantity doesn't equal quality

you actually got third surprisingly

that's still 400 dollars though

you didn't actually tell Ray or the others about you joining that contest so when you walked in with 400 dollars, a smile on your face and your skateboard and 52 sheets of notebook paper connected by a keyring under your arm, damn

you quickly explained and set your stuff down and Ray just scooped you up and spun you around while he hugged you

he's a simpleton but you got him giggling and shit okay??

genuinley so flustered that you wrote about you and him of all people like huh

he reads it front to back at least 3 times

FOURTHGRADE

you were pretty passionate about writing

so when your school was promoting a novel contest you knew you had to join

a thousand dollars would've done you a lot

you spent the next six months writing about you and fourthgrade, stories, how you met, favorite memories, random blurbs, etcetera

you told him about it but never that you were writing about him

you wanted it to be a surprise lmao

i also hc that he's a little dyslexic so 💀

you actually won too

apparently it was so "inspiring and moving amongst the youths" that you won ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for it, IN CASH

you sprinted over to Motorz and immediately wrapped fourthgrade in a hug

"thanks for being such great inspiration"

"huh?"

you genuinley just retold some of his camcorder tapes for a bit of the book too so you had to give him some credit

you gave him 200 dollars because he refused to take any more

the duo

RUBEN

bro couldn't care less that you joined a writing competition

"whatever you want"

you have the annoying sibling dynamic what can I say

"dude I'll give you 100 bucks if you just be supportive"

"fine"

you wrote about him and your awesome sibling relationship

you made sure to cut out all the abuse and just say "growing up in a rough household" and "growing up not as privileged as everyone else" and shit bc you weren't getting cps called on anyone

you wrote like 70 pages

you got third

but you got 200 dollars so you basically split it with him

he ended up reading it because he was bored at motorz one night and you left it laying around

he's never smiled while crying before

you come in the next morning and he just silently hugs you

you see the book thing on the couch where he slept and you just kinda knew

"why are you crying?"

"i'm not!"

STEVIE

you also have a very sibling like dynamic

although instead of annoying each other you're kind of the comfort siblings you've both never had

so when you brought up the fact you joined a writing competition because you had a good chance at winning, he was like "oh cool"

"i'm writing about you"

"what the fuck why?"

he's supportive tho

he'll ask how it's going and stuff and you'll just give a vague answer

by the time they're due and judged, he asks what you placed

you shrug and pull out a thousand dollars cash from your backpack with a smile

"holy shit!"

you smile and hand him half of it

he's confused as to why but accepts it graciously

I mean half of its about him so he deserves some credit

gives you a little hug and shit

#lowkeyrobin #mid90s x reader #mid90s imagine #mid90s preference #fuckshit x reader #ray x reader #fourthgrade x reader #stevie mid90s #ruben mid90s #a24 films #skater film #fuckshit mid90s #ray mid90s #fourthgrade mid90s #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader

[eerna]

so glad to WHINE ABOUT TPT.

it should have been wren pov, I agree it seemed like there was a more interesting story going on on her side! And your theory it got rewritten for more jurdan makes sense … also so fucking stupid it’s third person - is there some asinine publishing rule going on? I know readers like to self insert these days, maybe the publisher was worried bc oak is male/a love interest? dumb. dumb.

why didn’t vivi come to the engagement feast? wren had such a hang up on what Vivi said about her, I wanted that resolved (and I just wanted Vivi in general!!!!) wren meeting her human family off screen without a mention of how it went fuckin SUCKED. at absolutely no point was I convinced she should be staying in the house of her abusers being a ruler for people she didn’t know instead of returning to her REAL family. and she didn’t even bond w oak’s family either.

I also enjoyed the dialogue in the garden scene so much, but without wren’s pov it felt out of nowhere or even like she was using sex as self harm. she is so deeply self loathing and so convinced oak will move on for her, so her propositioning him feels like she was trying to rip off the bandaid and get him done with her faster. again, I have to assume because the last time we heard her thoughts was when she would DO that kind of thing. if she’s had this great character growth we don’t fuckin know!!!!!

I had fun but it was also such a disappointment and wren deserves better

Welcome welcome to the whine party~

YEAHHHH presumably it was single POV for the mystery of why Wren is acting so weird, but imo it didn't work. It was so so so painfully obvious and the plot twist didn't twist, so why not just give her the POV. As for the third person, all the Cardan POV content we ever got was also in third person, so maybe HB just doesn't want to write her male leads from first person? The self insert thing occurred to me too, but Wren is one of the least self-insert-able characters I've ever read in YA, and she too had the first person, so idk honestly. Maybe someone who has more experience with HB's novels could figure it out.

I WAS WAITING FOR VIVI THE ENTIRE TIMEEEE like out of all of Oak's family, she was the one who hurt Wren the worst. So where was she!! She lives in the human world, fine, but she was there for Oak's official heir party, so why not for his engagement??? Heather would have Never missed it in a million years. The lack of content regarding Wren connecting to either of the families was sooooooooo bleh, since we KNOW that being a part of one is incredibly important for her and she desperately wants to be accepted by both Oak's big dramatic yet loving family and her own human one. Her returning to the Court of Teeth makes no sense, she only has the worst memories of the place, and it doesn't even EXIST as a ruling body anymore.

SAME on the garden scene! Like you said, it sounded like the Wren from TSH, who used his interest (which she perceived as customary and short-term) as a way to punish herself and treat herself as someone undeserving of proper love. Okay, it's because of the Endless Hunger of her magic, but it's strange to never deal with her pretty unhealthy views of her sexuality. IF ANYTHING, in the final chapter she STILL thinks she is too much and needs too much and won't be able to function properly in a relationship, and we just,,,, never get closure,,, Oak is just like "don't worry" and she's like "ok" and that's it. Head in my hands. This was a romance focused duology and somehow Wren didn't even get her proper closure on that.

Literally my takeaway. Fun. Disappointing. Wren my baby you deserved more.

#eernask #mooncactus #eernask talk tfota #the prisoner's throne spoilers

[doukeshi-kun]

what was the creative process behind the inspiration that took you to write stalker!nikolai? you’ve mentioned getting inspiration from haunting adeline, but how did you come up with the rest? it’s extremely well written and the plot is published book worthy 🫶🏻

ooh interesting question! but first of all, thank you sm for the compliment! published book oh my lorddd i really appreciate it! 10 year-old keshi who wanted to be a writer/novelist is very happy🥹🫶

i will admit that i don't open the haunting adeline novel at all while writing part two and three. i barely open it when i'm writing the first part either. mainly because the very scene i was inspired with is just a couple scenes from the whole book (mainly, the mirror maze).

well, as i write the first part of the fic, i never intended it to be a series or trilogy... but people loved it and when i read back that fic, i got some sparkles of idea, you could say...

now, thing is, those ideas aren't definitive. i changed many things. but some themes that i definitely want to keep in the series are the stalking and the chasing or running away part. so that's why, in the first fic, we have nikolai chasing after reader. in the second fic, we have reader chasing after nikolai to stop him from murdering alex. in the last fic, we have both of them running away from the authorities. other important themes also include: nikolai's freedom and all those conversations about morality.

from those themes, i tried to form a plot that could surround them and of course, i make use of the settings i have created in the first fic (circus, funhouse, reader's house, reader's personality and little backstory). i also like to talk and discuss nikolai's personality and his ideal/mindset/way of thinking through my fics. however, i don't intend to have any moral value to be gained from my fics lmao

so yes, to conclude, i came up with the plots based on the first fic, the themes i wanted to keep and the settings i have established from the beginning. i jotted down a rough plotline and what scenes i have in mind. and then i started the first draft and see if i can go somewhere. if good, go on. if bad, delete and redo. also, while i was writing the drafts, i also got ideas to change or add new things—thus the plotline will be edited again and again

wordcount is not one of my concern tbh. i'll finish up my drafts, and just then i total up all the word count and listed all content warnings that i could gather while proofreading it.

but lol, while i was writing the first and second part, i have the word count right at the right bottom. i actually get quite nervous when a scene that's supposed to be mildly short has gained like... fuckin 3k words BECAUSE IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS TO CHECK IT WITH GRAMMARLY 😭😭😭 so yes that's like one of my not-so-fun moment when writing long fics.

thank you for this question! i actually like it :3

#道化師-says❃ུ۪

[sygneth]

The confirmation that Harry's squad abandoning him is just poor writing just so the player can continue doing shit on their own is the fact that it never gets explained. Harry even tries to bring it up but kim just. Shuts him up about about it is so so sooooo absurd. Jean's inaction could also harm him but he just makes harry drop the subject? C'mon folk it could have not been more obvious that the writers simply did not come up with that part 💀 I wish people would just take things as they are: de is not really a detailed novel. It's a fuckin game. With excellent writing, excellent characters and worldbuilding, but still a game

I don't think there is much to add here anon. This is a very solid point.

EDIT: I figured it may be worth adding that this is about the posse leaving on the day of the mercenary tribunal, not before the events of the game

#asks #anon #really #working on big complex projects often in a team taught me one thing and that is that you never get to think about everything #sometimes you notice a mistake halfway through and you can either go back and redo half of your work #or say 'screw it nobody will notice that we will give a blatant explanation here and it'll be ok' #and this honestly gives me this exact vibe #as if they had a lot of the plot already written and then someone noticed that this here this will raise questions #so they went with 'okay maybe it will raise less questions if the main character asks about it' #so they decided to give the most indirect and blatant response possible lmao because the real response would be 'narrative purposes' #(that would be hella breaking the fourth wall btw Kim looking player straight in the eyes saying 'narrative' as if he was possessed or sth #and then HDB goes like 'what' and Kim goes like 'what' and they drop topic before if gets even weirder) #(sorry i think i just got possessed) #ANYWAY #“nothing to add here” I said and continued to write another tag essay. #disco elysium #is that jeanposting still?

[fereldanwench]

Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @corpocyborg! Thank you, bb!! ♡

Last book I read: I still haven't finished There's No Such Thing as an Easy Job Kikuko Tsumura I started back in January, lmao. Not for any reason other than I just haven't been in the right headspace to sit down and read for the past few months--What I have read of it is great, so hopefully, I can make the time to pick it up again.

Greatest literary inspirations: I like the female protags in Karin Slaughter novels, and I love Tanya Huff's Torin Kerr from her Confederation series--I'm sure they've inspired me on some level. Oh, and Phedre from Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel books, too, although it's been ages since I read those. But I think most of my inspiration actually comes from other forms of media. I love the action babes of the late 90s/early 00s: Lara Croft is the number one inspo here, and pretty much all of Michael Turner's comic girls but especially Sara from Witchblade. And I think Better Call Saul is easily one of the best-written shows ever made--That's one I always go back to when I feel like I need to refill the inspo well.

Things in my current fandoms I want to read but I don't want to write: I have a confession: I usually only read a ton of fic when I first get into a fandom and I can't get enough and I just want to soak it all up, but after a certain point, I just don't have a lot of headspace for other people's stories. 😬 I feel bad about it sometimes, and it's not like I never read anything after that point, but 90% of the time, what I wanna write is what I wanna read. It's kind of a closed loop, I guess.

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: Well, I'm not at all deterred by being the only person interested in something I write, haha. One of my favorite one-shots I've ever written is between my Cousland and Hawke meeting briefly at Ostagar, and it's probably my least popular fic on AO3 by a big margin. But I do like deep-diving into my own OCs, and it generally is harder to get an audience for fic that doesn't have canon characters. Ain't gonna stop me, though!

You can recognize my writing by: Lots of pining and banter; obvious thesaurus abuse

My most controversial take (current fandom): Yeah, no, not gonna be sharing my actual most controversial takes, lmao.

But I do also love the Devil ending! I don't think there's one objectively "best" ending--What's good for one V isn't necessarily good for another--But for my Valerie, it suited her story the best. I love the poetry of her going back to Arasaka after getting fired by them, I love storming Arasaka Tower with Goro, I love the conflict with Johnny, I love making Goro confront how fucked up the Arasakas are, I love the possibilities of Mikoshi--The only way it would have been better for me is if this nixed idea had actually been put into action.

And I wish we could roleplay a V that is actually more "pro"-corpo in the game, especially if we had the corpo lifepath. Sticking it to the man is sexy and all, but I just love delving into characters that align themselves with shitty institutions and exploring different motivations (I personally like cynical pragmatism/self-preservation and delusional idealism) that lead a person there.

Top three favorite tropes: 1) Rivals to friends to lovers 2) Mutual pining 3) Forced proximity

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): Like, 0.5, lmao. I've been rereading and organizing my WIPS, so there's some effort being put in there, but I'm very much in one of my "ummmm, how do I even write fiction?" phases.

Share a random frustration: I have ZERO discipline when it comes to writing. I need to be in a fully feral, totally isolated from distractions place or I just can't get shit done. When I'm in the zone, I'm in the fuckin' zone, but I get like 3 months of that every 5 years, lmao.

Tagging (with no pressure, as always) @ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian, @dread-red-queen, @vorchagirl, and @aceghosts <333

#t: wench.txt #tumblr: dash games

[izukuwus]

Consummation Training (NSFW) (Original Work) (F/M/M)

Masterlist - Read on Ao3

A/N: welcoming in my poly OC trio from the novel I'm writing! some days you wake up and you spend literally like 12 hours straight hyperfocusing on your keyboard and it turns out pretty well I think. this is technically an AU of the novel that I wrote instead of working on the actual novel but I think it counts for something!

I could do sooooo much background worldbuilding here and I'm tempted to ramble about it separately but I will abstain from now. please enjoy!

Summary: The Prince's Familiar hated the Knight. She hated him for having all the skills she lacked, for convincing her that it would be better for the two of them to teach the Prince before his wedding, and of course, for being right.

There would be no courtesans in the Prince's bedchambers. Just the three of them, the student and the teachers, to ensure that the Prince would be ready to please his wife come wedding night.

Warnings: exhibitionism/voyeurism, threesome, technically sex magic, implications of pregnancy (non-explicit), there's at least one vampire present, biting/blood, multiple orgasms, double penetration, technically dubcon if you approach it from the wrong angle, porn with feelings, porn with left plot, fuckin uhhhh some dom/sub shit going on, honestly there's a lot going on here lmao

Word Count: ~6100

The Prince's familiar hated the Knight.

It was a matter of fairness: he hated her from the first day, after all, and though she'd tried to bridge the gap between them, the fact remained that she was a vampire and he was sworn to protect their prince.

So she hated him.

She hated his duty-sworn personality. She hated the glares he leveled only at her. She hated the deferential way he looked at the Prince, and the sweet-soft tone he used with him. She hated the way he took immediately to the gorgeous noblewoman the Prince courted and agreed to wed, and she hated it more for the fact that she was the only soul who knew the Prince would never be happy with her at his side. Right now, before any of that, she hated the Knight's deft fingers, torturously unlacing her corset after having undressed most of the rest of her.

The sweet-soft tone reserved for the Prince was muttering in her ear from behind as he worked. "I would appreciate it if you bared with me and relaxed a bit for this demonstration," he said. "We are honor-bound to this, for our Prince's sake."

The Prince in question sat across from her, eyes marked with interest at the show they put on. The Knight had her spread out between him, carefully detailing each step of the process until she was presented, naked, for her Prince to see.

His face was a churning red at the sight of her; as far as she was aware, it was his first time seeing any more of a woman than the modest daily-wear they were held to, which was why they were doing this at all. But they were not there just so it would not be the Prince's first time seeing a naked woman when his wedding night came, and so the Knight did not stop at undressing her.

"The first thing you should know is that every woman is going to be different. Our little familiar here is not going to respond the same as your fiancée might. You can ask her, outright, what she desires from you, but she is a Lady and may not answer you truthfully, if she gives you an answer at all."

"So what do I do?" The Prince's voice cracked with a dry throat. He cringed, then swallowed, apparently doing his best not to appear too interested in his Familiar's naked form. “If—if they won’t tell me what they, um, like.”

“There are ways that they’ll tell you without words. You’ll see by the time we’re done with her.”

Her walls clenched involuntarily at the thought. She knew better than to voice any trepidation here—the moment she did, the Prince would back out for her comfort, and unfortunately, the Knight was right when he’d told her the Prince would need this and it would be better coming from them than from some untrustworthy courtesan hired to do the work for them.

She shuddered at the thought of anyone else being put on display like this for her Prince, then again at the thought of how the rest of the night would go.

The Knight chuckled at her back, a low rumbling sound that infuriated her. “There’s one of them. You probably can’t see from over there, but she’s shivering.”

“Should we warm her up?”

Another laugh. “In a manner of speaking, your Highness. Now, as a rule of thumb, there’s a few spots that are nice to pay attention to, depending on your partner. Obviously, there’s the main act, but if you want to produce magical heirs, you want to make sure you’re not the only one cumming.” He brushed her hair out of the way, and then soft lips were brushing a spot behind her ear. Unprepared, she gasped, eyes fluttering closed.

She’d never laid with a man before, and now she was perched between one’s legs while another studied her.

“Tell him more about the magic involved here. You’re our resident expert,” the Knight mumbled against her flesh. When she didn’t respond, he continued: “Or else I’ll get a lot meaner with you.”

Teeth grazed a soft spot near her throat in warning, and she couldn’t stop the whine in her throat. “He’s—he’s right. There’s magic released during an orgasm. Some of our—our researchers have found links tying release with the magical potential of the child, and your best shot at an heir is—" Her words caught in her throat when the Knight found a particular spot on her throat that made her legs weak. "—sorry, it's to ensure that both of you release as much as possible during a session."

"Are you certain you're okay with this?" The Prince asked her as she screwed her eyes shut. She could not give the Knight the satisfaction of knowing he was doing a good job, not even for her Prince's sake. "You seem almost like you're in pain."

"Depending on you and your partner, pain isn't always a bad thing." The Knight's mouth left her neck to speak. "But she's completely fine. Isn't that right?" A hand slid up her bare stomach. The cold of his rings followed the warmth of his fingertips, and she firmly stopped herself from shivering this time.

"I'm alright, your Highness, just—perhaps a little bit embarrassed at the situation."

He was always quick to reassure her. "Oh, no! There's no need to be embarrassed, this is all purely educational, after all!" 

"If you're embarrassed now, wait until we move past the barest forms of foreplay," the Knight hissed in her ear. Then, louder, in that soft-sweet voice again: "Would you like first-hand experience with this, your Highness?"

She opened one eye to see her Mage's expression. His eyes were wide, cheeks more flushed than before at the suggestion. "Are you asking if I'd like to—"

"We exist for your benefit, your Highness, and I expected to have you directly involved at some point. Watching can only take you so far, after all."

The Prince's eyes met hers, and she nodded slightly, though she hated that she did. Anything for His Highness. Anything for her Prince. She could see him swallow, and then he was standing and coming to the pair of them. "Okay. If everyone's certain they're okay with this..."

"She's all yours, your Highness. Behind the ear, down the jawline, across the throat... they're all generally sensitive, although your Familiar here seems to be particularly so."

The Prince was close. He was leaning in, staring at her throat, and she shuddered in a way that nearly sickened her. Who was the vampire here? Who was the prey, and who was the predator? Not her, not anymore. 

"If it helps, you can kiss her. Typically, that eases one into it, your Highness."

"Is that okay...?" he whispered, and the Familiar nodded.

He slotted himself between her naked thighs, cupping her chin gently and capturing her lips in a soft, sweet kiss. She returned it, careful not to appear too eager even as her thighs twitched to close around his waist. 

It was true, he needed the practice: he was not a practiced kisser. She did her best to guide him in technique with her lips, to show him how to kiss her back. She knew by now that her Prince was a fast learner, and he exemplified it here: once he had a rhythm, his lips molded against hers, she felt teeth graze her lip, and damn it all, she moaned into his mouth.

He pulled back almost immediately, searching her face in a near-panic. “Was that alright?”

Her eyes drifted open a moment later. Shit. This was bad. “Perfect, your Highness. You’re doing wonderfully.”

“And you’re not simply telling me as much to appease me?”

“I exist for your benefit, your Highness. You would not benefit from me lying to you in this instance.”

The Knight’s hand squeezed at her side gently. She took it as an approval of her words.

“Okay. And if I—if I wanted to continue?”

“You have my full consent, your Highness.”

He exhaled a shaky breath, and then his mouth was on hers again. She was dimly aware of the Knight speaking behind her, delivering instructions to her Prince: how to move his lips, how to bite hers, how to slip his tongue in her mouth if he wanted to. She didn’t give him access, not at first, but another pair of lips attached themselves to her throat and bit, and in the shock of her moan, her Prince’s tongue entered her mouth to explore.

“Good girl,” the Knight hissed in her ear. The whine caught in her throat.

She nearly lost herself in it, but the Knight did something good for once: when she brought her hands up to pull the Prince in closer, firm hands slid down her arms and pulled her wrists to be held behind her back. 

“Hands to yourself,” he whispered, and despite herself, she moaned around the Prince’s tongue.

“Those noises she’s making are a good sign,” the Knight explained as the Prince pulled away for air. Her breasts heaved with her breath—she cursed herself for getting lost in the moment. If she wasn’t careful, she’d even begin to enjoy this, and she would not admit to enjoying it right now. “You want her to make noise. Not every partner will, and you’ll learn your wife’s signals well if you spend enough time with one another, but not only is this one sensitive, she’s noisy, too. Really, she’s perfect for teaching with.”

Oh no. He was not making her feel like this with his words alone. She struggled surreptitiously against his hold, but he merely laughed.

“Are you feeling better to move on to the next step, your Highness?”

“Yes.” 

The Knight nodded in approval, and the Prince left her with one last kiss before slowly, uncertainly moving towards her jawline.

This was torture. Where the Knight had been suspiciously skilled with his mouth, the Prince was slow and careful, lacking confidence in where he dragged his lips.

“Here,” the Knight said after a moment, “let me mark a good spot for you, your Highness.”

The Prince pulled away, and lightning-quick, a hand left her wrists to tug at her hair and crane her neck for him. She keened, and the Knight paused, chuckling. “Aw, apparently this one also likes having her hair pulled. It’s almost cute.”

“It is,” the Prince agreed. 

She was boneless as the Knight found a soft spot and sucked hard on it, writhing in his hold. He cursed as he popped away, satisfied with the mark he left. “Earth below, you are sensitive,” he growled as he released her wrists to wind an arm around her waist and hold her down. “See that mark I’ve left on her, your Highness? That’s a good spot.”

The Prince nodded, drinking in her expression, the subtle bounce of her breasts as she tried failingly to catch her breath. Her pride surged a bit at the tent in his pants, and when he slotted himself between her legs again to attack her neck, she jolted as that tent brushed against her dripping core.

This time, he did not stop at her whine, even as the Knight was admonishing her for being so squirmy. Instead, the Prince attached himself to the darkening spot on her throat, kissing, sucking, licking, even once biting her, until her head had gone fuzzy and a coil was tightening in her core.

She couldn’t help it—she squirmed against the Knight’s hold and the Prince’s ministrations. Her prince’s hands were on her hips, rubbing soothing circles there, and the Knight shifted to hold her thighs open before she wrapped them around her Prince’s waist. The immobility killed her—being held open for him, two pairs of strong hands holding her down, a low voice giving calm instructions in her ear, the delicious feeling of a mouth on her neck, it was all so much, and then she managed to buck her hips just a little against the Prince’s growing hardness, and he moaned against her throat, and the Knight bit down on her shoulder, and she needed, more than anything, to warn her Prince before he took it too far.

He beat her to it. His voice filtered into her mind, a feature of their little soul bond. ‘Still okay?’

‘More than okay, my Prince. If you keep this up, I’m going to—‘ Even in her mind, the words caught. This should not feel this good. She’d scarcely been touched, and here she was, moments from careening over the edge.

‘Isn’t that the goal?’ her Prince asked, and then he was biting down in a new place, and she was thrashing against the men’s holds, the coil in her stomach snapping, and she needed to grab onto something, anything for purchase. Her hands found the Knight's thighs behind her, and he cursed as her nails dug in. Her head dropped backward, onto his shoulder, and when she was back in her mind, she glanced up to see that her Prince was watching her with hungry eyes.

She shuddered.

"Back with us?" the Knight asked, and crooned her name. "I wasn't expecting you to cum just from having your neck kissed. Is it that you're truly that sensitive, or are you enjoying being watched?"

She wouldn't dignify him with a response. Not, at least, until he nipped at the shell of her ear.

"Both, I think," she managed between gasps.

Shit. She wasn't supposed to say that.

His eyebrows shot up in amusement. "Well, look at you. Nice and honest. Big change from how you normally treat me. We're not done yet, though, so catch your breath."

A low keen left her throat. This was shaping up to be an eternal sort of night.

"Was that good?" 

It was. It was extremely good. But she was nearly wordless, and she'd honestly hoped he was asking the Knight, but the Knight didn't answer him, either, merely clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Answer him." In the time it took her to search the soup of her mind for a response, all she came up with was a nod. That earned her a light slap to her inner thigh, and she jolted and whined. "Use your words."

"S-so good, my Prince."

When she looked, he had relaxed into a smile, but it wasn't the usual sort he afforded her: in the lighting as she finally caught her breath, he looked wicked. 

"Why whine over him hitting you?" he asked, innocent. "Are you that sensitive between the legs?"

"Mm," she managed as a reply. "Everywhere."

That earned her cruel laughter from the Knight, and his hands left her thighs. She was sure, if she looked, she'd see outlines of his hands on the pale skin there, but he merely nodded to the Prince to step back. "So, so honest. But we've got a lot of information to cover. Are you ready to move on, your Highness?"

"Please," he said.

"Good." Already she was tensing in anticipation. Hands slid up her sides, causing her to squirm as he cupped her breasts. "Now, this is yet another case where your partner may like this more or less than our little familiar here. Honestly, usually this is more for you than the sensation it gives your partner, but judging on how this one has been reacting—" He tweaked one of her nipples between two fingers, and her back arched into it. "—ah, there it is. She'll be good to play with and learn from, it seems."

He began massaging her breasts, and amid the sensation, she was a little proud that, as large as his hands were, her breasts were bigger. Already heat was pooling in her stomach as her Prince watched the Knight toy with her.

"Now, it's unusual that you end up with someone this sensitive. By now, you probably won't have come close to drawing an orgasm out of your partner. I'd encourage you to take your time and learn how best to pull them out. Combine your techniques. Let her feel your mouth, feel you worship her body. It's a wonderful body to get to worship."

At a sharp tug to her nipples, she whimpered and arched into it once more. She could feel the Knight's cock through his pants, heavy and hard against her ass, and fuck her, she was growing more and more desperate for any of it.

"She's so needy," he tutted. "But see how I cup her from below and pull? Come give it a try."

The Prince was fast as he returned to nest himself in front of her, and only one of the Knight's hands pulled away. The intent was clear: both men groped her, shame having left the room ages ago. The Knight's free hand again came to rest between her legs, achingly close to what she needed. Close enough, at least, that he lingered on the edge of where her wetness had soaked her thighs.

"As much as she's enjoying this, your Highness, I feel comfortable setting a goal for you to achieve tonight, if it pleases you."

Dread pooled in her stomach as her Prince's eyes dragged up from her chest. His lip was caught between his teeth. He was enjoying seeing her this debauched.

"Tell me."

"Since the goal is for you to learn how to please your partner, I'd suggest that we not move on from one stage to the next until she's come. Normally, this would be extraordinarily difficult, but she's easy. I think you'll have no trouble at all working her to completion until you've truly mastered something."

Oh, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

His fingers, which had been rolling her right nipple between them, tightened their hold, and he pulled perhaps a bit tighter than he'd been intending. She gasped out a weak 'your Highness' in reply, and he glanced down at her.

"You're right. She is really easy. I think I can manage that."

He was actually going to do it. They were going to pull countless orgasms out of her—how many 'sections' had the Knight designated? Was he about to add more to the lesson plan just to torture her? Was she even going to survive the night, at this rate?

So caught in her thoughts, she didn't notice her Prince leaning down and capturing her nipple in his mouth until he was already there, until she was already moaning. 

"How—how much did you have planned, Sir—" She gasped before she got to his name, but he seemed pleased with the effort.

"You can just leave it at Sir tonight. The deference suits you."

That sent another pang of heat straight to her core. This was unbearable. Her Prince was groping her, playing with her nipples, sucking on her breast like a man who'd die otherwise, and the Knight was simply massaging her inner thighs, driving her insane with his words and how close he came each time to actually touching her. 

"To answer your question, we'll be going until he can make you come from these tits alone, then we'll be adding magic into the equation, which I expect you to teach him—"

"Me?" she interrupted. "You want me to—Moon above—" The Knight nipped harshly at her throat. Another bite mark to add to the collection. "While I'm getting my third orgasm of the night drawn out of me? Do you have any idea how—ah—"

The Prince was lost in his ministrations. Too lost, she thought, to notice the heated conversation she was having with the Knight. 

"Just as difficult, I'd imagine, as having to watch you fall apart again and again and not do anything about it," he growled in her ear. "Be good, and if you make it to the end of these lessons without passing out, you'll be rewarded by both of us."

A low whine.

"And after you've taught him how to incorporate his own magic into making you feel good, we'll teach him how to bring you to orgasm with his fingers, then with his mouth, and you'll teach him exactly how to work your clit, and then we'll see how you fare getting passed between us for educational purposes. And yes, I will be teaching him how to tease you."

Another whine. Her hips bucked a little—her Prince had pulled her tits out by the nipple, as far as they could tolerate, and let them fall weightily back to her chest. He did it again, enthralled with the way they bounced. He would be the death of her, she thought, if the Knight didn’t run her through first. “That’s… that’s a lot, Sir.”

“You’ll take it.”

“That’s six orgasms in a single night!”

“It’s seven, actually. You’re starting to let them cloud your mind already.”

Shit. It was seven. “That’s worse!”

“Like I said, you’ll take it, and you’ll be rewarded for your compliance at the end. You’ll do it because we are honor-bound to serve him, and you, especially, are going to serve him. Perhaps, by the time this is done, we’ll consider training him to have better stamina when it comes to his wife. Would you like that, little one?”

Another thing that infuriated her about him: he was taller than her. No one was taller than her. She was a vampire, and here he was, making her feel tiny.

Lips attached to an unmarked stretch of flesh on her throat. The Prince did not stop kneading her chest as she leaned into it. 

“Well? Would you?”

She thought about it, truly and honestly. Her Prince, kissing her neck, licking her neck, biting her neck, torturing her nipples with his soft hands. Such a stark contrast to the Knight’s calluses catching the skin of her thighs. 

She felt the cock pressing into the apex of her thighs, the fabric she was certainly dampening, and the cock pressed into her back, and her mouth watered. What would training his stamina entail? Fucking her over and over, until he couldn’t take anymore? Allowing her to get on her knees before him and take his cock into her mouth? Would the Knight train her on his cock, first, to ensure she knew how to suck him properly? Would he watch the entire time? Continue to instruct them on how to please one another?

A harsh twist to her nipple had her crying out and jerking. ‘Answer him. I want to hear you tell him what you want.’

And oh, was that delicious. Momentarily, she forgot she was serving her Prince, simply Serving, and she nodded. “I would. I want it. I want it. I—“

‘Good girl,’ her Prince echoed in her mind, and she snapped again, somehow cumming harder than before. He was a fast learner, for sure, and for once, she feared that more than she took pride in it.

“You really are perfect,” the Knight cooed as she came down from her second high. “Not many who cum just from having their breasts played with or their neck kissed. Now go on. Teach him how to use magic to make you feel good.”

Her mind was entirely blank. He was her student, where magic was concerned. This was not a strange request, to teach him how to use magic. But its application to sex? She’d never had normal sex before this. Never even considered the application of magic to fucking her. She stammered something out, did her best, but it only earned a sympathetic coo from the Knight.

“You don’t know, do you? Have the orgasms made you dumb, or have you never brought it into play before?”

She merely shook her head.

“Aw. Well, I’ll just have to teach him, once we’ve shown him how to punish a disobedient partner.”

Her whole body shivered at that. Punish?

“Oh, she likes that idea. How about you, your Highness? Would you like to learn how to punish her properly?”

He nodded. “Signing on to help teach me, then not even teaching me when asked. I think she’s earned it.”

Oh no. He was becoming cruel, too. 

Before she knew it, she was being expertly bent over the Knight’s lap, ass perked up for easy access.

“This is one way I like to punish them, your Highness,” he said, and then she was keening as a sharp smack landed on her flesh. Several more followed in quick succession, her body jerking with each one. When he was done, he rubbed soothing circles into the raw red, cooing sweetly over her. “You want to make sure to cup your hands like this, see? There’s good ways to hurt her and bad ways to. This is one of the good ways. Isn’t that right?”

Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she nodded. “Mhm.”

Another smack. “How did I tell you to address me?”

She sobbed, and she moaned. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Your Highness, let’s see how you hit her.”

Several more smacks against her ass, these less certain, less practiced. He kept going until tears streamed down her cheeks, and then a bit more as he perfected his technique. She’d lost count from the moment her Knight had landed several.

“How is that, darling? Feel good?”

It did. It was humiliating, her cheeks burned, but it was good.

“I think so. Look at her; she’s making a mess of the floor.”

Callused fingertips collected juices running down her thighs. “Oh, yeah. She’s enjoying this. How many was that, little one?”

“Seven… seven… teen?” She honestly wasn’t sure. Seventeen seemed like a good number.

When he let out a dark laugh, her heart stopped. “Your Highness, since she got it wrong, may I show you another good way to punish her?”

“By all means.”

She was maneuvered into sitting up. The fat of her ass was raw from all the hitting. Her Prince soothed her with kind words and a wandering hand, a gesture which helped only until she realized her Knight had undone his belt and taken out his cock.

It was bigger than it had felt. Her mouth watered at the sight, and when he beckoned her over with a pat on his lap, she moved automatically. He positioned her over him, pressed himself inside, and she keened as she sunk down on his length.

“Make her wait for it,” he explained, and suddenly, she understood.

He did not move. In fact, he was busily explaining to her Prince how to heat and cool his fingers to add an extra layer of play to her nipples. It was good, and she moaned and panted and arched, but still the Knight did not move.

“See how desperate she’s getting, just from sitting on my cock, your Highness? Let her sit there a while, and soon, she’ll be apologizing for what she did and begging for you to fuck her.”

She would do no such thing. Not for him. She felt him twitch inside her, and she ached for friction, but received none. Simply his hand, pressing healing magic into her ass until the raw fire turned into a dull, pleasant sting.

One day, she’d get him back for this. Find some way to punish him for treating her like a toy to be played with. He was hot and big and filled her deliciously and he wouldn’t move and someday she’d get down on her knees in front of him and take him into her mouth and leave him groaning until she came off him and didn’t finish him.

…fuck. She was thinking about sucking his cock. She’s already lost.

“Now, you can’t tell, but you can actually feel her walls moving around you like this. That’s how, even when she’s being a brat, you can tell that she’s enjoying this.”

Oh, fuck you.

“Have you got a handle on the temperature play?”

“I think so. How’s she holding up?”

“You’re doing a good job. Every time you pull her nipple like that, she flutters around me. I think she likes having her tits played with. You could probably lay her down and fuck yourself between her tits and she’d come from that alone.”

She couldn’t help the flutter in her stomach at the thought, nor at his low rumble. “Oh, she really likes the idea of that.”

“Might I feel?”

The Knight pulled out of her, and she nearly sobbed, a broken wait leaving her mouth as she was suddenly emptied.

“First, let’s look at how to get her off with your hands…”

Fucking hell. Okay. They were both good with their fingers. The Knight showed him how to curl them to drag another orgasm out of her, then laid her down and showed her Prince how to work his tongue around her clit and move it inside of her. Each time, she was quicker to cum, quicker to cry out and clench around them. 

When at last, the Knight pinned her down on the bed so the Prince could watch him fuck her, she nearly sobbed all over again.

“I can’t—I can’t take anymore,” she gasped out. “It’s too much.”

“You’ll take it just fine,” he said simply, and that was the end of that before he shoved himself inside. 

He set a slow pace at first, explaining patiently between grunts how to move his hips, how different speeds were good for different things. 

“Like this, it’s slow. Intimate. It’s a good way to show your love.” He looked away from the night to glance back down at her, fuck-drunk, eyes almost fully-lidded as she stared up at him. 

She pulled him down into a slow kiss.

What was she doing? This was not in the plan. This was the exact opposite of the plan.

And yet, the Knight kissed her back, slow and sweet, one hand cupping her cheek. When he pulled away, his gaze lingered on hers for a moment before he remembered what he was doing. “See? Like this, you don’t even have to say it. Would you like to try, your Highness?”

The Prince must have nodded, because the Knight gave her one last kiss as he pulled out. She lay there, staring at the two of them. Watching as the Knight kissed the Prince slowly. 

“That,” he said, “was meant for you, my Highness.”

He didn’t miss a beat. He kissed him right back, just as slow, just as sweet. “Keep it. I’ll get my own.” 

Then, he was climbing over her, carefully guiding himself to insert his cock into her. He was pretty, his cock deliciously long and on the thinner side. She thought she caught a glimpse of a vein before he entered, and then he was setting a slow, torturous pace. 

And gods above and below, she was thrilled at it all. She was sore, whimpering, overstimulated, but when he slid himself inside and kissed her, it felt right. She kissed him back, eager and slow, letting him take his time and figure himself out.

She didn’t even notice the tears sliding down her cheeks.

‘I don’t want you to marry her,’ she whispered in the back of his mind, and his hips stuttered. ‘I love you.’

He paused inside her, pulling away to stare at her with wide eyes. “I never thought you’d admit that,” he said, and it was now that she realized: she fucked up.

There was a weight next to them on the bed. The Knight, sitting beside them, lacing his fingers with hers. “Did she tell you?”

“She did.” He nodded.

“That’s a good girl,” he whispered, and planted a kiss on her crown. “You should know, there is nothing forbidding a Prince from wedding his familiar.”

It was her turn now to freeze, as her Prince began to work his hips inside her again. “What?”

“What he said. I will be the King. I can marry whomever I want.”

She couldn’t process it. She didn’t know how many orgasms she’d had that night, but clearly she wasn’t thinking clearly, because that could not be what they were implying.

“If I decided that, say, I wanted to take my Familiar and my Knight into my bed, not as partners in sex, but partners in marriage, there is nothing which would prevent me from doing so except the desires of those partners.”

His hips were picking up the pace, and still, she was staring at him, dumbfounded. He paused suddenly, pulled out.

“Marry us,” the Knight said and lifted her. She was being maneuvered, contorted until she faced the Knight, not the Prince, and two cockheads lined up at her entrance.

“Why—why you?” she managed, eyes wide at the Knight’s face. “Why both of you—why any of this?”

“Because we love you,” the Prince whispered in her ear from behind. “Because we’re going to be together the rest of our lives, him sworn to me and you bound to me, and because I want that to be in a capacity not just as my servants, but as lovers and partners in ruling.”

One of the cocks slid into her, and she moaned quietly. “Even—even Sir—“

The second joined in, stretching her beyond what she thought was capable. Again her head dropped back, mouth hanging open.

“Yes, I love you. You’re brilliant, and kind, and as much as I hate you, I cannot imagine a life without you. Either of you. I would not choose it if I could.”

She was speared with two dicks at once. Before tonight, she had been a virgin, and now, she was unable to think, unable to process anything except the feeling of being so full and the kisses being pressed against the back of her neck.

“Say yes,” her Prince mumbled against her skin. “Tell me I don’t have to marry her. Tell me not to, and we’ll stuff you senseless, and then I’ll go straight to my desk and draft a letter calling off the engagement.” He began to move inside her, achingly slow, until he was nearly entirely out. As he pushed back in, the Knight, too, began to move, and she let out a long moan. 

“Say yes,” her Knight gasped out. “Fuck, you’re tight. Tell him to call off the engagement, love. Please.”

A lifetime with them. Every night in their shared bed.

“I love you,” one man whispered.

“I love you,” the other man groaned.

It was all too much. They were moving, faster and faster they were moving, and her teeth gleamed in the moonlight. She needed to bite to think. She needed blood on her lips to make sense of anything.

She lurched forward and bit down on the Knight’s shoulder as they fucked her, and he groaned and fucked her harder. They’d established a rhythm, and the feeling of flesh beneath her teeth was all that kept her sane in light of that rhythm. When she had her fill and was sure she hadn’t killed him, she lathed her tongue over the marks, and she sighed.

“Yes,” she mumbled into him. “Fuck me harder, fuck me senseless, and I’ll marry you both. Please, please, please—“

One of them came.

She couldn’t tell you which one, but it didn’t quite matter, because the other followed not long after, and she was flooded with their hot seed, and then she was cumming around them, and both men groaned. The Knight had to hold her up, the Prince holding her back as she thrashed something violent, and when they both pulled out and all three laid alongside one another on the bed, she cried with overwhelm.

“It’s so much,” she managed as one stroked her hair and the other danced magic-laden fingertips over her to soothe her. “It’s so much.”

“We’ll bathe, and we’ll rest in the few short hours before morning, and then we’ll work out the plan,” her Prince promised. “First to call off the engagement, then to make this one official. You’ll make a wonderful Queen, my love.”

She let out a little guttural noise. There were hardly any words left in her, except one important question: “There is no possible way that was your first time.”

“It wasn’t.”

“It was hers, though,” the Knight said, amusement playing in his voice. “I think we’ve ruined her for anyone else. What do you think, my Prince?”

“Good. She’ll never be with anyone else.” The Prince trailed fingers over her bare shoulder with a loving sigh. “And, ideally, neither will we.”

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory

If you'd like to be tagged, shoot me a message or an ask, or ask here in the replies, tags, or reblogs and let me know what you'd like to be tagged in (all works, all works specific to a character, all smut works, etc.).

As always, thank you for reading! <3

#my fics #my original fiction #it feels weird to use the my fics tag for this #it feels weird tagging this at all tbh #uh #smut

[puffpasstea]

Could you do a blurb where Matilda and Harry get in an argument? Angst + make-up fluff/smut?? I LOVE your writings so much!

Of course babes. Thank you SO SO MUCH for reading and for your very kind feedback 🥹

I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS!!!! So, since the next few chapters of the Matilda sequel are gonna be heavy on angst and smut, I tried to do something a bit different with them having an argument. Just so you guys don’t get sick of it haha. But also I feel like those two can never run out of stuff to argue over. Anyways, I'm not sure this ended up being what I wanted but still I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! PLEASE LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK EVEN IF YOU HATE IT

Warnings: angst, and angst i guess? idkkkk. 

——

Just tell him how you feel. Keep things focused on you. Don’t put any pressure or expectation on him. You can’t control the outcome but you can always be honest. My therapist’s words of encouragement ran through my head as I looked through my bag for the spare keys to Harry’s place. I knew he wasn’t home. In fact, I was counting on it. He’d given me this key “for emergencies,” and, well, “I’m in love with you and think I’m dumping my boyfriend for you” felt kind of like an emergency to me. Emotionally, at least. So, I got to his place, take out in hand, hoping to give myself a pep talk and make myself comfortable before he got here. 

Being at his place, even in his absence, felt like a safety net. Everything around here was so Harry. From the vinyl records on the entryway table, to the floral arrangements in every corner, to the teabags in the jar on the kitchen counter. Surrounded by his favorite things; his coat hanging by the door; the bookmarked novel he’d clearly been reading earlier in the day; it immediately made me feel a lot more grounded. I’d clearly made the right choice making this the setting of our upcoming conversation. I decided to set some plates out for dinner, and, while in the kitchen, pour myself a glass of wine. 

 A couple glasses in, and a Netflix episode later, Harry was still out. I contemplated texting him to ask when he’s coming home, but, that, in itself felt like too much pressure. 

A bit before midnight, I heard the front door unlock, Harry’s voice mumbling something I could quit hear. 

“Look, the media is always gonna find something to say. Yes, but- no, I am listening.” He seemed to be on the phone. Evidently having a difficult conversation. My courage already wavering, I took a sip out of my wine glass for some comfort. 

“I realize that.” Harry was now walking in a circle in his entryway. “You said it yourself ‘it’s a judgement call. Well, I’m exercising my judgement and choosing not to make any public statement. Yeah…I’m aware. Yes, it’s a risk, but-yup. Look, Jeff. I’ve had the worst fuckin day. Can we talk about this tomorrow, please? Just wanna go to bed right now. Ok. You too.”

The worst fuckin day? That’s a sign that I shouldn’t say anything. Right? You can do it. You can do it. You can do-

“Jeez- Holy fuck! Matilda!!! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Harry jumped as he walked in and saw me on his couch. His frame barely illuminated by the TV light in the dark room. “What are you doing here?” Immediately regretting my decision, I set my wine glass down and began to pack my things. Harry didn’t seem to notice though.

“You know what? I don’t even care right now, I’m just so glad you’re here…” he plopped onto the couch near me, and, without hesitation, wrapped both of his arms around me, squeezing me tightly and pulling me closer to his side. 

“Y-you are?”

“Course, baby. I’ve had the longest, most awful day. No one else I’d  rather come home to.”

“Oh?”

The words come home to made alarms go off in my brain. Suddenly, rather than feeling the comfort of being in this space, with Harry’s arms around me, telling me what anyone with half a heartbeat would long to hear their lover say, I felt suffocated and terrified. 

Harry took a deep breath relaxing his back into the couch and blinking repeatedly. Suddenly, he noticed the take out containers full of Chinese food and the plates I’d prepared for us. 

“Oh. You brought food.”

“Yeah, you want some?” I got off the couch as quickly as possible, busying myself with arranging some plates for the two of us, glad for any excuse to create some distance between me and him. 

“Guess I could eat. Not all that hungry though. Just wanna talk if that’s alright?”

“S-sure. About what?”

“I just mean about my day. Could use your opinion on this actually. So, the director, who I thought was my friend, has completely flipped these past few days. The way she’s been dictating the scenes, I mean- even when we’d had countless conversations about how I would like these moments to be portrayed in the film. At the same time, though, I don’t feel like I get a say in this. I’m not an actor, you know?”

“What you mean you’re not an actor? That’s absurd, Harry.” I passed him his plate 

“Thanks, hun.” He picked up a couple of chopsticks and started digging into his food right away. So much for not all that hungry. 

“I just mean….I’m not that experienced. It’s not like my instincts are based on any real evidence for what might or might not work for the film. I’m basically a baby by industry standards. It just feels so wrong to ignore my instincts. Feel like I’m just going through the motions, you know?“

I’d lost track of what Harry was saying relatively quickly, getting lost in how he was feeling. I could see by the look in his eyes, his incessant foot-tapping, his slumped shoulders that he was quite torn about this. In other words, he was being genuine and vulnerable right now. Opening himself up to me and sharing his doubts. Is this what being in a real relationship with Harry would be like? Coming home to the same apartment every night; talking about our days over a shared meal; discussing our thoughts and feelings? Every day? Being there for each other all the time? Is this what I was signing up for by telling him how I feel about him?

“Anyway, I know that I don’t wanna let people down. With an album, you know, it’s just me. It’s my name on the cover and if it doesn’t do that well, it’s my fault. But, this kind of thing…acting, it’s a team effort and there are so many people depending on me to do my part and…ugh and this other thing Jeff just called me about. I just can’t think straight right now..” Harry was still unfolding his quandary out loud, the earnestness in his voice, his genuine desire to not only bring the best version of himself to this project, but to make sure he was accountable to his cast mates was very touching, yet not at all surprising. That’s the kind of person he is. It’s part of what makes him so special. Unfortunately, though, it’s also why we can’t be together. He deserves more. Better. Someone who can be as open and giving as he is. Someone dependable and strong. Someone…not me. 

“Umm, I- uh. It’s getting late, Harry.” I set my plate down and looked sprung the room for where I’d tossed my bag and coat.

“W-what? But we’re in the middle of dinner!”

“Yeah, I- umm- sorry. I didn’t realize what time it is and I need to be up early, so.”

“Please don’t leave.” He looked up at me. Even in the dim light of the room, I could tell that he really needed someone. That someone wasn’t me though. 

“I’m sayin’ pleas here. I’m not usually the one who does the begging in this dynamic.” He smiled in an attempt to lighten the mood. My inability to respond in kind was surely hurtful. I needed to get out of here as soon as humanly possible wirh as little damage to our relationship as I could pull off. All of this required a certain level of delicacy that I’m sure wasn’t native to me. 

Harry grew more desperate the longer it took me to decide to stay. I felt cruel for not agreeing right away. But I was doing it to spare his feelings. 

“Fine, whatever, let’s fuck.” He set his own plate down right next to mine and picked up a napkin to wipe at his mouth. 

“E-excuse me?”

“You’re gonna have to get on top though. I’m wiped.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Think I don’t know why you’re really here? Or why you’re leavin so suddenly?”

My stared at him incredulously with a frown on my face, shaking my head.

“You came here for sex and when I didn’t jump your bones right away you started packing up and walking out. I’m saying forget the talking. We can fuck, if you’ll do most of the work.”

“That’s gross. You’re such a dick.”

“Oh, now I’m the one who’s gross, am I? You’re the one who’s here for an orgasm and you won’t even get it unless I do it for you. Do me a favor, next time, skip the dinner. Makes me think you’re actually interested in spending time with me. Mixed messages.”

“Fuck you, Harry. Have a nice night.”

As I rushed out the door, I heard Harry curse something under his breath. 

***

I didn’t see Harry for a couple of days after that night. And I couldn’t wait to go to my therapist at the end of the week and let her know what a moron she is for suggesting that I finally talk to him. How successful that whole thing was. I felt my blood practically boil at the memory of how crude he was. How unbelievable it still seemed to me, though I’d witnessed it with my own eyes, that he went so quickly from being self-aware and trying to open himself up to me to being remarkably insensitive at the drop of a hat. Though he undoubtedly hurt my feelings and the fact that I never got to tell him how I feel will always haunt me, in a way, I was glad the night went the way that it did. Because how could I trust someone who could change so quickly? And who would use our very dynamic against me in an argument? 

At the end of the third night, as I lay in bed, tossing and turning and thinking about all the clever comebacks I could’ve used to shut his smugness down, I heard a loud knock at my door. Flicking my bedside lamp on, I checked the time on my phone. It was 2 a.m. who on earth would come knocking at my door at this ungodly hour. 

I ran to the door, looking through the peephole and hurrying to unlock it once I’d seen who was standing on the other end. 

“Matilda!!! I’ve missed you!” Harry’s uncoordinated form stumbled inside as he bent down to give me a hug. I could smell the alcohol on his breath right away. 

“Oh my god, Harry, are you drunk?”

“Extremely!” He giggled and kicked off his shoes walking straight into the living room. “Look, I got food!” He announced unnecessarily loudly. At this rate, the neighbors were definitely going to complain soon. 

I ran to catch up with him and snatched the bag of food out of his hands. “You got Chinese food…and it’s from the same restaurant…Harry is this food three days old?”

Harry burst out into an obnoxious chuckle. In his current intoxicated state, things seemed about ten times funnier. 

“Of course not! I was…just trying to be cute.”

“Why are you here, Harry?”

“ I already told you.”

I shook my head. 

“I miss you.”

I rolled my eyes, setting the food down in the kitchen. Harry followed behind me like a puppy. 

“I know you’re mad-“

“I am mad.” I affirmed, eager to express my indignation. 

“I know I was an ass.”

“You were an ass.” I sat down on the couch and Harry surprised me by instantly dropping to his knees and wasting no time in burying his face into my lap. His arms came up to wrap around my waist, his face nuzzled closer and closer to my thighs as he spoke. 

“I know we’re not a couple or anything. You and Chris are a couple. Not you and me. No you and Harry. Nope….”

His fragmented rambling was already tugging at my heartstrings. I wondered if this was just his drunk talking or if he’d still stand by his actions in the harsh, sober light of day. “I just had to see you. Hate the idea of you being mad at me.”

My fingers instinctively moved to comb through his hair and scratch at the base of his scalp. He let out a big, contented sigh, a smile appearing on his face, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. “That’s nice…” he mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric of my clothes. 

“I…just didn’t realize you found me so selfish, Harry.” I spoke, still massaging his head. 

He jolted up at my words, but I pushed him gently back into my lap, his arms tightening around my waist as a counter argument. As if attempting to squeeze the idea out of me. “I don’t find you selfish! Promise! I wouldn’t be here if I did!”

“ you think I just come to you for sex…”

“I dunno. I feel like you’re never interested in anything else about me.”

Hearing him confess that broke my heart. My hands stopped in his hair, my chest aches, I was speechless. 

“It’s okay though…think I care enough for the both of us. Just wanna spend any time with you that I can. I’ll take what I can get.”

“Harry, that’s not-“

“It’s alright. I know my dick is magical.” He giggled at his own joke like a schoolboy. 

I pulled at his hair. 

“Ouch! You’re the one with the pain kink not me.”

“Focus, Harry. I do care about you. Okay? You have to believe me. I know I’m not the best at showing it, but I care about you a great deal. really! I might even say that I lov-“

“Listen, I know we have a rule about sleeping at your place but could I stay? Just for a little while? Until the sun comes up?”

“Of course. Uh, why don’t you get off the floor and come up here.” 

“Good idea.”

Harry shuffled over on unsteady feet and sat next to me. I did my best to hug and pull him closer the way he’d done the night that he stumbled upon me in his living room. In fairness, nothing much was registering in his drunk, sleepy mind, but he still laid his head on my shoulder and fell asleep. That had to count for something. At least for the time being?

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #matilda #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst

[copperbadge]

Dear Sam, there are indeed books where you read one chapter a day! However, they are advent calendars. I had several detective story/murder mystery books where you read one chapter a day until Christmas. And some books were mean, the pages were folded and perforated, so I could not peek into later chapters, had to open them first! There are erotic novels with 25 chapters, too. But I never tried these. Also, there are at least two children's books with 25 chapters that I know about - so a parent and child can read one chapter each day. Unfortuntely I don't know any books with a Halloween countdown, so you might have to write that 31 chapter book yourself.

Oh, that's nice for Advent, too! Although you lose something, I feel, when you don't get to be spooky about it. On the other hand, why shouldn't you write a spooky advent calendar novel? December is a dark fuckin' time of year and Christmas is sometimes culturally a time for telling ghost stories. Maybe I'll write a Spooky Hallmark Romance and people can argue about whether it's a Halloween book or a Christmas book, like they do Nightmare Before Christmas. Although that would put me on the wrong side in the War On Christmas. Hm.

And there's already a spooky Passover book, it's called Exodus. Tough to compete with Torah.

No I think it will simply have to be a Spooky Halloween Book. Probably not in time for next Halloween given what's already on my plate, but I suppose I could always try to structure it out and then write it across October next year....

#writing #halloween

[okamiwind]

writing meme

stolen from my best buddy @lilcrickee

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.

First ever published: you're the prize (i wish i'd won) EXO, kyungsoo/jongin lord almighty, it's almost been six years! how surreal is that. yeah, i had this idea for an enemies to lovers fic while watching parks and recreation. i dont know. it was one of those things that just absolutely compelled me. it's kaisoo bc i was reading a lot of kaisoo before jumping into the fandom. i look back on this one fondly, but i dont think i'm confident enough to reread it. might hurt my feelings lmao

Last fic published: i aim to be your eyes EXO, sehun/junmyeon my fuckin baby!!! still ongoing. probably will finish sometime in 2024. well. Crossing my fingers anyway. it's long and silly, but i love writing it. once i start reading over some part of it, i immediately feel like i need to add more to it. i love writing all the little characters and reading how people think things will end up. i still have yet to decide on the ending, but who knows, maybe i'll sopranos it.

Fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once: the million roads that lead to you MDZS, lan zhan/wei ying wrote this before even watching the live action. definitely not sure how it holds up. will almost certainly never write another fic for this fandom, but it was fun to write regardless!

Favorite fic you wrote in a fandom/ship that has the most works: in the blood haikyuu, keishin/ittetsu had no idea that haikyuu had more fics than any of my other fandoms. so it goes. it was interesting to see that nct has surpassed exo too. cwazy daisies. anyway, i love this fic, i think its kinda my masterpiece for haikyuu. i sometimes want to return to this pairing, but the lack of engagement sours my mood abt it a bit. i love writing it, but i feel like the more i shove it in people's faces, the less likely they are to read lol

Fic you wish more people read: lawyers, guns, and money EXO, sehun/baekhyun i thought this was a great little fic (she says, looking at the novel length word count) and i was really shocked that it didnt get more love. i mean, its fun, it's spacey, it's found family. i still really like a lot of the passages, i think they're very pretty. maybe i'll reread it myself since NO ONE ELSE WILL!

Fic you agonized over the most: chronos-826 EXO, sehun/junmyeon i can hardly remember the way this fest was run, but lord, i remember being irked. like there was noooo communication if you weren't on the discord, and i was like jeez, i know it said you could join but i didnt know it would be MANDATORY if you wanted information about the event lol. but yeah. despite all that, i really enjoyed writing this. and by enjoyed, i mean went insane. literally i felt like i was going crazy throughout the majority of it, and while the finished product is a lot different from what i had envisioned (something more along the lines of House of Leaves with that element of interactivity.... sigh) im still proud of what i managed to produce

Fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort: pilgrimage EXO, sehun/baekhyun yeah this fic was just so weird and like. Fantastical. it felt like it was dropped from god's hands into my brain. like i sat there and wrote the first 10k almost in a Flow state, didn't touch it for months, and then just banged out the rest like it was nothing. i doubt anything will ever come so easily to me ever again, but yeah. what a time to be alive!

Work you are proud of—for whatever reason: i write to you from the road and the red king's consort BOTW/TOTK, sidon/link i just think these are some really nice examples of my writing. idk. like i think they accomplish what they seek to accomplish, i think they're stylish and pretty, i think they have a lot of earned emotional weight to them. Just some nice fics by me imo. anyway. that's it.

anyone who follows me is free to follow in my meme-ing footsteps but i would like to tag @fff777 and @deepbutdazzlingdarkness to see their answers as well :3

#katya's writing corner #seho #sidlink #ukatake #i love to talk about myself

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Vampire!Peter + Martin Whitly, Who Is The Real Monster, discussion prompted by rewatching Frankenstein because I am thinking many frankenstein thoughts always these days?

Absolutely hilarious that you sent me a prompt involving Frankenstein cause I was gonna rewatch a video tonight discussing the novel/Junji Ito manga version of it cause it's October and that means horror classics.

But I'll watch that later, I've got a one-shot to write.

On with the fic!

--

Peter shifted about on the couch, trying to make himself more comfortable without spilling his drink. Sure, he could put it on the table, but... nah. He just gave up and flopped on Martin's thighs and wiggled a bit.

"Really? All that for you just picking my lap, as usual?" Martin asked, though not sounding all that offended.

"Yep." Peter replied, loudly sipping from the silly straw in his cup. His attention was on the screen, watching as Victor Frankenstein moved about, talking about his creation, which was going to be brought to life shortly. "Hey, Martin, I've got a question."

"I'm sure you do."

"Why do people always call Frankenstein a doctor when the idiot never actually finished school?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like," Peter shifted to make himself more comfortable, "the book has it where he's still in college, basically. And this is a project he's working on in his fuckin' house, that he shares with other people!"

Martin chuckled, carding his fingers through Peter's hair. "Well, many medical professionals have done experiments at home."

"Not recreating a human body!"

"Not that you know of."

Peter turned up at him, giving him a stare. Martin laughed at this. "No, I'm not included. There would have never been a good time to have a reconstructed corpse in my busy home! Jessica would have found out the moment I brought in the first body part!"

"Or Malcolm would have."

This made Martin scoff. "Oh, possibly. I bring one girl home and suddenly I find myself in a cell for twenty years because my son was a little too curious."

Peter rolled his eyes and slurped his bloody mary that contained real blood. "Still though, why do people call him Dr. Frankenstein if he never even earned that title?"

"Well, I assume it's to separate him from Frankenstein the monster."

"I guess, but that's dumb."

"How so?" Martin asked, attention now on Peter rather than the movie where the monster's body is currently being brought to life. Peter had seen this scene enough times to not bother looking at the screen.

"It's... ya know, I mean. The monster is his own person, he's not Frankenstein! He learns to speak and read later in the novel through his communications with a family, before everything goes to shit cause, whoops, he can't have anythin' nice, no thanks to that bitch Victor. He even tells his creator that he is basically his Adam. Probably why people call him that when they talk about these two."

Martin shrugged. "I suppose so, he is a rather smart human-like being, even though the movies tend to not show that."

"Ehhh... I think Van Helsing did? Can't remember, it's been ages since I've sat down and watched that one sober." Peter finished off his drink, setting the cup aside to cross his arms. "But anyway, it's so weird that the movies kinda fuck up his character."

"The monster?"

"Yeah! He's smart, he's caring, but he is also angry, which they get right. I mean, I'd be fuckin' mad at my creator for bringin' me to life and then abandoning me. Oh wait, I have! Fuck my sire! Killed that bitch. Still, like, he's human, in his own right! No need to call him the monster."

"Ah, but does this play into the common question people have about him and his creator? Who is the monster and who is the man?" Martin asked, smiling. "I remember having a discussion about this once with Malcolm, he had been reading the book in school and it had him thinking about me."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "About you?"

"Well, at this point I was in my cell, so he knew that I was the Surgeon. But at the time, Malcolm had explained to me that he saw that how I presented myself to the world and the person hidden from it, the one that was dangerous, were like Frankenstein and the monster."

"Thought you'd be more Jekyll and Hyde."

"I thought so too, but he explained it as... oh..." He tapped his chin. "Ah, yes, he said that I presented myself as this brilliant scientist, who tried to keep up a normal life, and yet I hide from the world a creation made of horrible deeds through the pursuit of knowledge. And, like Victor Frankenstein, to deal with troubling thoughts. This 'creature' I created, the Surgeon, could pretend to be human, but was still a monster, even if he knew the right ways to be human, he just wasn't one due to who he was."

Martin then leaned back, smiling. "I think my boy was overthinking it, believing that I am both the man and the monster, as both of these characters are in their own right. It still sounded Jekyll and Hyde to me, but then again, Malcolm always did find ways to relate me to more conflicting philosophies and thoughts. What a clever boy."

Peter wasn't sure what to say to that, so decided to change the subject. "Did you know only one adaptation of Frankenstein actually brings up that the eight-foot tall man is hung like a fuckin' horse?"

"Only you would go from deep thoughts of humanity to thinking about someone's groin."

"It's Young Frankenstein, in case you're wonderin'." Peter grinned.

--

Personally, I have no idea who is the monster and who is the man, both are so very, very human and I think that's the point.

*jazz hands*

And yes, Peter is correct about that last fact. Also, apparently, the Universal movie is based on a play adaptation that changed so much of the original plot.

Just some fun facts right there.

#martin whitly x peter vincent #john's drabbles #good omens extended universe