#I always say this but I genuinely need some funding bc my bank account isn’t looking too sharp :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

danteinthedevildom · 3 years

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- kicks door open dramatically - Money. How does it work in the Devildom? -zoomed in eye emoji-

I love that when I ask my friends to remind me to write things they send me anons with flare. Y’all so good to me, Ily, enablin my Thoughts bc I got carried away.

(For context this’s just how I like thinkin the boys get that sweet cash money, bc I Have Thoughts On That, apparently).

- Student Council Members all get paid for their service. It’s pretty self explanatory, I think, but c’mon; that’s a job, as well as a technical governmental position. You can’t NOT pay them.

- The brothers do NOT get to see this money. Student Council paychecks go straight to Lucifer as part of the budget for the House of Lamentation; they are not allowed to so much as think about touching this money, because it’s what he uses to pay for all of their household expenses. Food allowance, maintanence, WIFI router fees, their TV license... it’s all accounted for using the very steady and non-fluctuating income they get.

- Any income the brothers make outside of this is purely their own! All of Mammon’s paychecks from his modeling gigs go straight to his own bank account, and the same can be said for the money Asmo earns from his designer brand. They can do anything they want with this money, and Lucifer is not allowed to touch it unless in some form of punishment.

- Admittedly that “punishment” doesn’t happen often. He doesn’t really enjoy messing with their money, especially not when they’ve actually worked for it - which is why he’s content to leave it as their money, rather than the Household’s as a whole - but if it’s clear that they’ll use their money to do something irresponsible or damaging, he’ll call the bank and force them to put the account on hold.

- (By “irresponsible or damaging”, I mean to the tune of “Satan once tried to use his funds to buy an extremely suspicious amount of Very Deadly Ingredients at the same time Belphie uncharacteristically offered to assist in the preparation for Lucifer’s birthday party”. He really doesn’t care what they spend it on beyond that, so something like Levi spending all of his Grimm on the same CD over a thousand times? Lucifer doesn’t exactly get it, but eh, that’s legit.)

- Yes, Lucifer can do this. He’s the overseer of the accounts, in technicality; though he lets the brothers do as they please, they’re all legally in his name. It’s one of those things that the bank has been personally informed of since the start. Yeah, they treat the individual brothers as the account holders, but if Lucifer phones up and says the brother in question isn’t allowed to access his funds? Then the bank goes, “yes, sir”, and nothing can get them back in except Lucifer phoning the bank up again.

- Lucifer’s pretty good at handling their fees, thanks to the several millenia he’s had doing it. Things can get a little tight, but he’s always able to leave some money at the end as a sort of backup allowance (a last resort pool for each brother). Even at the worst possible point, he refuses to take from the backup allowances unless absolutely necessary - which is mostly on the very, very rare occassions that their expenditure exceeds Student Council funding.

- Each of the brothers are allowed to have a Credit Card that is separate from the backup allowance. They’re fully expected to pay back the Card with their own money - not their Student Council funding - and if they’re incapable of doing so, they can use their backup allowance to pay it off. Goldie is Mammon’s, and obviously the most well-known, but the others can have one, too - if they want to.

- If they run out of their backup allowance, well, they’re just shit out of luck, because they can only have access to it when all other resources run dry. It really is like a last resort; something that’s just meant to tide them over till they next get paid. After that, their Credit Card gets frozen, and Lucifer just lets them deal with their own problems - so long as it doesn’t impact the finances of the House as a whole, anyway.

- So, obviously Mammon has his modeling job - I mentioned that before! Levi gets his own income from streams, and Satan gets his from the patents he has on various spells and hexes he’s created. Asmo, beyond the designer brand he owns, does get a lot of income from his status as a Devilgram Influencer, and Beel gets a lot of his income from Fangoal sponsorships. Nobody actually knows where Belphie’s income comes from. He just kind of... gets it? There’s rumours that it’s hush money, but he’s never said and nobody’s sure how to ask and get an actual answer out of him.

- Unsurprisingly, Asmo makes the most, which the other brothers think is complete bullshit. It’s quickly followed by Belphie and Beel, then by Levi, then Satan, and Mammon makes the least.

- Lucifer doesn’t need a source of income. Anything he could want or need - more than that, even - is bought for him by Diavolo (heedless of anything he says against it). He’d have absolutely nothing to spend the money on, and if he did buy things for himself, he’d have no idea what to say to Diavolo when asked what the Prince can buy him.

- The brothers are EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN from posting anything about things they want or debts they have, because it has happened in the past that they’ll mysteriously find a debt erased or the thing they wanted sent to the House of Lamentation, and Lucifer is honestly so exhausted with trying to get Diavolo to just stop buying them shit.

- Honestly, the only reason they get a set income at all is because Lucifer was too Proud to accept Diavolo’s original plan of “if you need something, let me know”. He’s already eternally indebted to the Prince as-is; he does not want to be in literal, actual monetary debt with him. At least if it’s a wage, he’s being paid for a service, and he can ensure that Diavolo isn’t just splurging a ridiculous amount of Grimm on them for the sake of spending.

- (As a side note, it’s also just a little less embarrassing to pay for any damages his brothers do out of pocket. Nothing was worse than, in those early days after the Fall, awkwardly looking somewhere to Diavolo’s right and biting out that he would very much be grateful if Diavolo could pay for a contractor to fix the outer wall of the House. And the interior wall of the House. And the Kitchen as a whole, actually.)

Bonus:

- MC gets an allowance that’s just a little less than what the Student Council members get. Though the Exchange Programme covers any Household expenses, like food, Diavolo wasn’t just going to let them end up there without something to spend. They can, of course, go out and work on top of that - just like the brothers do - but they don’t actually pay for anything beyond the things they want, so it’s genuinely not necessary. It’s even less necessary since Diavolo finds it much easier to sneak them away on shopping trips.

- Diavolo and MC frequently play a fun game of “how much can Diavolo buy MC before Lucifer figures out where they are and drags MC away!” The answer? A lot. Like, so much. There genuinely isn’t a more surreal - or admittedly hilarious - sight than watching the Avatar of Pride standing in front of the Prince of the Devildom with his arms crossed over his chest, tapping a foot against the floor, as Diavolo gently places down an absolutely obscene amount of bags filled with goodies solely for MC. Well, until Lucifer says, “And the rest,” and suddenly another, smaller bag is pulled out of his jacket.

#obey me #obey me scenarios #obey me headcanons #obey me hc #Anonymous

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homosociallyyours · 4 years

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@velvet-impala tagged me to answer this long set of questions, and bc I love this sort of thing I’m DOING IT! I’ll tag folks here just in case you don’t want to read thru this whole dang thing. But I wanna say: if you want to do this, PLEASE DO IT and tag me so I can see-- I *love* reading responses to stuff like this. But @la-paritalienne @disgruntledkittenface @and-id-marry-larry @calmrry @crinkle-eyed-boo @lightwoodsmagic -- y’all are tagged :)

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black, but what matters most is how smoothly it writes.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? walkable neighborhood in a city. 3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? would love to learn how to hack into billionaire bank accounts without getting caught so i could redistribute their wealth to a variety of mutual aid funds. :) 4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no, just milk! unless it’s really shitty/bitter coffee, and then i will take it with a couple sugars or sweetened creamer.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? probably the Anne of Green Gables books 6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! i wanna love a bath, but i get bored too fast and i never feel comfortable (where do i put my head? my feet? what do i do when my belly isn’t covered by the water and it gets cold?) so they’re meh.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? dryad! i wanna be a tree spirit!

8. Paper or electronic books? paper, i guess. but i do love reading fic electronically, so..

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? used to be my work hoodie. but now i would say this blue striped button down i have OR this one black dress i have with 3/4 sleeves that’s really soft and comfy.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i always meant to start going by Dottie when I got older, but it hasn’t happened yet so it probably won’t by now? but i would never change my name generally speaking.

more after the cut!

11. Who is a mentor to you? i had a co-worker who was really a mentor for me since i got into being a cheesemonger in 2008. he’s been in the industry for a long time and basically recruited me to the job i have/had here. but when i got sick he basically dropped me/hasn’t spoken to me in a long time. let me tell you: it fucking sucks. bc a mentor is a cross between a friend and a colleague and a relative; we jokingly called him my lesbian uncle. and so losing him from my life so completely over something like this is deeply shitty.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? not now, but before i was sick i would’ve said yes. BUT only bc i think i would be a great Saturday Night Live host (not a cast member! just a one time host with a monologue/skits). So whatever level of fame i needed to get that..

13. Are you a restless sleeper? I have really bad insomnia that means i take at least an hour to fall asleep most nights. Once I’m out, I usually sleep ok, but i do have intense dreams/nightmares that wake me up sometimes.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yeah :/

15. Which element best represents you? earth: the wet dirt and leaves in a forest after rain in particular

16. Who do you want to be closer to? emotionally i’m pretty good i think. physically i wish i could be closer to friends and family in NYC, Seattle area, TN/Atlanta, and Germany

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? the people referenced above. also missing my Grandmomma a lot lately and my mom.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. art lessons with my grandmomma. her set of pastels that were all worn down and the heavy paper (black) that she pulled out to work on. she drew a quick portrait of a man, showing me how to create depth in skin tones with blue and green against the softer flesh tones. she didn’t blend it out, the marks all painterly and strong-- her style. i was 10, maybe? 12? so not *early* but it feels like forever ago.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i have no idea? i’ve eaten a lot of weirdish cheeses. i’ve had geoduck?

20. What are you most thankful for? the amazing friends i’ve gathered into my life along the way, my dad, and my baby dog.

21. Do you like spicy food? yes, within reason (i don’t get stuff that’s spicy just for the heck of it, like ghost pepper chips or whatever? but when spice is integrated in with other flavors i love it)

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i used to make up stories about meeting famous people that were based on partial truths. i’ve hung out with or met a lot of gay famous people. but the biggest person who comes to mind is Sandra Bernhard. I sold her cheese. 23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? i have over the years. now i sometimes write things down in a paper journal, but mostly go to a really old blogging site where i basically put all my big feelings down in a public but sorta private spot.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? depends on my mood.

25. What is your star sign? taurus sun and moon, gemini rising

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? in between...not HARD crunchy, but not soft soggy.

27. What would you want your legacy to be? would like people to remember that i loved them well and made them feel good/happy when i was around them. and hopefully that it made them feel like being good to others too.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? i do, but i’m mostly reading fic these days. i think the thing i read last was Pink Like the Paradise Found, which was FANTASTIC!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i tell them, shower them with physical affection, and do little things for them. also try to remember small details about what they enjoy and then do stuff to make them feel good when they’re down

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? yes, but not too much

31. What are you afraid of? sometimes being along but only when it’s very dark out and i’m in the sads. honestly-- this is some deep internalized ableism but here it is --i’m very afraid of never getting better and not being able to take care of myself or anyone else.

32. What is your favourite scent? jasmine flowers, pu-er tea, the specific scents of people i love

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? however they’re introduced i guess. maybe because i’m an older person lol

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would live in the apartment i had alone (with a guest room). i would hire someone from my community to come help me out sometimes. i would get a weekly grocery delivery from the good quality place. i would have a dog walker. and i would fly home to see my family more than once a year and fly my family out for a visit sometimes. so like. probably the way a lot of ppl live? idk.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? ocean

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? get dinner at the thai restaurant down the street a couple times.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yes, lots!

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i’m not having kids BUT for the kids in my life, i try to teach them/model the importance of consent and respect for their own bodies as well as other people’s. and i know it said one thing, but alongside that is that i respect and love them for who they are, and that’s something they get to decide.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want a lot of tattoos, but if i could get one tomorrow it would be a cheese themed tattoo with a variety of cheese knives (parm tools, dutch style knife) and a small cheese assortment. or a portrait of my dog

40. What can you hear now? this kinda dumb netflix show that i decided to binge today even tho it’s only kinda meh and my dog snoring just a little.

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m surrounded by friends.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my stupid money issues prolly

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? wanna go back to 1977 and live in the girl direction AU i wrote last year, lol.

44. What is your most used emoji? laugh crying emoji or sobbing maybe

45. Describe yourself using one word. colorful

46. What do you regret the most? not sure if this is a thing but i regret not realizing when i got bitten by a tick/got lyme disease the first time, bc maybe i could’ve just taken antibiotics and killed it, and then maybe i wouldn’t be sick?

47. Last movie you saw? watched the new charlie’s angels the other night

48. Last tv show you watched? this dumb show is called sweet magnolias, and it’s. honestly not terrible! it’s just not my style of show. OH WAIT i take it back, they left it on a really shitty cliffhanger without warning, and that is the one way to make me drop your show/fic HARD unless i like. genuinely love you. so byeeee dumb show, hope you get cancelled

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. saungry: sadness brought on by being hungry, like hangry except oops you’re crying now! example: “fuck i knew i should’ve eaten before calling my best friend, now i miss them and i’m too saungry to figure out what to eat! Guess I’ll have tears for dinner” (almost called it sungry, but the internet thinks that might just mean ‘so hungry’)

did you make it to the end? WOW! devotion. thank you.

#about me #long post #text post #livejournal throwback

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