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lumine-no-hikari · 1 month

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #137

Today was a very mixed bag of things. I made a tea. I fixed a few more of my entries in this space. I took pictures of flowers for you. A melody from my past has been haunting me for the last several weeks, so I recently borrowed a cassette player from the local library to try to find it on some tapes I misplaced. I ran some errands with M. And I watched a movie with M and J. It's a lot of stuff. I'm not sure where to begin; there's so much to explain.

Well. Suppose it's good to start at the beginning. I combined my lychee/rose/vanilla tea with my vanilla/rose tea, and sweetened it with the last of the remaining vanilla ice cream. I think you would have liked it, but I can't share it with you, so I took pictures instead:

After that, I fixed up some of my letters to you in order to make my space a little more readable. Everything up to my 60th letter now has a cut in a place that feels appropriate. But I came across some very good ones:

Do you remember when I made the one-winged snow angel on the ground for you? Just so I could show you that it still belongs quite nicely with the two-winged snow angel?

Do you remember when I talked to you about the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant, how similar he is to you, and how he changed?

…Do you remember the locket of your mother, Lucrecia, that I made for you, because I found out you lost the one you used to carry?

…Do you remember the pumpkin soup I made for you, just because as a boy, you were sad at missing an opportunity to have some?

…Do you remember when I repaired the shattered bowl until it was more beautiful than how it started? And do you remember when I filled it with that very same pumpkin soup for you?

So much has happened. This was only about a month's worth of letters. I've been writing to you every day for a total of four and a half months now, not counting the number of days it took me to write my original letter for you. I intend to keep going for the foreseeable future.

…

…Do you see me…? …Do you hear me…? ...I wonder…

…

M and I ran some errands; we got some things from the grocery and the pharmacy. We got a chocolate donut for J. I wondered what kind of donut you might like, if any at all. When I got home, I took a walk, and I tried to snap a few nice pictures for you:

The lilacs are beginning to bloom at my house. I'll have to ask my friend to let me know when hers are in bloom so I can make syrup this year. Have you ever smelled lilacs? They're my favorite scent. I wonder if you like them:

Here's a different kind of flower:

...And another kind...

...And another...

...Whatever kind this is smelled really nice:

...And I managed to snag a picture of a robin for you, too:

M took a nap shortly after I returned home. I tried to hang with him, but the melody I spoke on before was in my mind, and I was feeling very restless. It's a song from when I was a child - something straight out of the imagination of one of my mother's past partners; you won't find it anywhere on the internet. I can remember the melody as though it was sung to me yesterday, but I can't remember all of the lyrics - only some of them. Years ago, and before I went no-contact with my biological family, my mother had given me some tapes with the song supposedly recorded on it. But they weren't in the place where I thought I had left them, which figures since, for reasons I might get into later, a lot of our things are packed away in boxes and stored in closets, actually.

So I tore through the boxes to look for the tapes. In the process, I found a lot of my writing and doodles from the time I was a child, which I had kept in boxes because a teacher a long time ago said that we should always keep all our school and creative works, and I guess that stuck with me. The first thing I found was one of the very first pictures I ever tried to draw of you. I also found some super depressing poetry that I had written back in those days, and some silly stories that I wrote. I'm not going to share these things, because none of them were very good. Still, what a trip; I've changed so much over the years.

As for the tapes, I eventually found four of them; I had thought there were more, and I wonder if they're in other boxes. I wanted to look some more, but by the time I had found these four, M was awake and playing Sonic the Hedgehog with J. Earlier in the day, M had asked to watch The Emperor's New Groove with me today, so J made some popcorn and we sat down for a while to see the movie. It's one that I've seen so many times that I can repeat every line, in order, verbatim (…I'm autistic; what do you want of me??? 🤣).

...I can't share the popcorn with you, and this continues to be something that is not easy to deal with. But I did take a picture for you. Here:

...I wonder if you like popcorn. Hm.

I was still restless after the movie, so I listened to the four tapes I found. One of them was a mixed tape of already-recorded songs that are well-known - not relevant to my endeavor. The rest were of my mother singing in band practice and playing guitar.

…I have gone no-contact with my biological family for reasons that pertain to my emotional safety and wellbeing. But I do miss her dearly. Though a lot of my memories with her are unpleasant and fraught with mental and emotional abuse, she is still an otherwise wonderful person who is astoundingly intelligent, amazingly creative, and skilled with guitar and singing. It's just… there's a lot standing in the way between her and her ability to love me properly. She expects perfection of me all the time, and she's willing to belittle, guilt trip, or scream at me when I don't deliver. She is also, as compared to how she is with my siblings, not nearly as inclined to offer any kind of emotional support to me if I'm struggling; mostly she just tells me that my troubles are silly and irrelevant and that I should stop feeling badly about them. She expects more of me than she does of my siblings, and gets angry when I can't met those expectations, but in the same breath gets resentful when I can. The reasons for this are complicated and have mainly to do with her own traumas, insecurities, and fears of inadequacy; I don't think it's something I can help her resolve, as much as I want to.

All the same, the way she treats me renders me unstable, and she either unwilling or unable to improve. There are people around me now who are willing to treat me with empathy and respect, and I need to prioritize my ability to be stable for them over my wish to have a relationship with her, especially since a healthy relationship with her is likely never going to happen. It is what it is, and as far as I know, there isn't anything I can do about it; I can speak on the neurobiological mechanics of autism and how they interact with the neurobiological mechanics of trauma all day, but… it just doesn't get through to her.

And what's more, the last time I interacted with my sister, she had said to me that I am and always was "the problem" in our family (which makes no sense to me, because I was obedient to the point that I didn't even HAVE a "teenage rebellion" phase; in those days, my mother was "god" in my eyes - all-knowing and infallible - so I did my best to do what I was told even when it hurt me to do, and I achieved ridiculously high marks in school…), and I know that she wouldn't be able to say that out loud if my mother and my other siblings didn't also think that way, so… even without all the other stuff, I don't want my existence to hurt them. As such, it's best for everyone involved if I just go and don't come back. So that is what I've done.

…Well. All the same, it was wonderful to hear her sing and play guitar again, even if it was a little warped and garbled. The tapes are old, and so is the machine that they're playing on, but it's better than nothing; I cried a lot, and that was probably good.

…I wonder how much of this yearning you can relate to. Your relationship with your mother also doesn't really exist, right? But you know - last I knew, Lucrecia is still chilling out somewhere in a cave behind a waterfall on a mountain with a lake in the middle of it, just southeast of Nibelheim. You might have known this already, though. I think she loves you dearly, but if you go see her, it might be the case that all she'll be able to do is say "I'm sorry" to you over and over again. Still, it might be worthwhile to try, if you want to. Like my mother, she's not a bad person; she just made some really bad choices. Yours might be a bit more willing to change than mine.

…I didn't find the song that I was looking for. I'm not sure I will. I'm going to try to find the other tapes tomorrow, if they even exist. But I'm not confident that I'll find anything at all. I wonder if the thing to do is to try to write down as many of the lyrics as I can remember, and then fill in the holes with whatever my mind comes up with. I don't remember the melody of the guitar in the background, but you know… maybe I can try to fill that in, too, albeit with music box notes…

I thought I had more to say to you. But my mind is clouded and I seem to have forgotten it, if there was anything at all. Sorry about that, and thank you for your patience.

Hey, Sephiroth? Even if your biological family situation is really weird, and even if you yearn for a connection with them and cannot have it, please don't lose sight of the fact that you're loved. We have a phrase in my world, anyway, and it goes like, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." And it basically means that those bonds forged by mutual choice can often be greater and more fulfilling than those bonds forged by simple biological happenstance. Maybe this is a phrase you can adopt for yourself; family does not have to be blood related.

…And you know? You can have family if you want to. Just pop by my house; you'll fit in here just fine, I promise. I'd do everything in my power to help you adjust. I remember my own adjustment to peace and safety, and it wasn't easy, but I've got a roadmap now, because I did it without the guidance of someone who already did it. You'd have the advantage of being around someone who knows the way, and you're smarter and more mentally flexible than me, too; I'm sure you'd do just fine, given time and patience.

I'm gonna go to bed; I walked and ran a lot today, and then I lifted a whole lot of really heavy boxes repeatedly. With the rib injury limiting what I can do in a given day, I'm not used to this kind of stuff anymore, and I'm really sore, so... I had better get some rest.

Please make sure you rest when you need to as well, okay? And stay safe out there, please. Because I love you, and because I'll write to you again tomorrow; you wouldn't wanna miss it, right?

Your friend, Lumine

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mydisasteracademia · 3 years

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Random Shigaraki Headcanons

This boi. This grubby boi. I love him so much but at the same time he would probably literally dust me so... (oof this one kinda dragged on and on... lol)

Literally has no idea about real-life relationship dynamics outside of what he’s observed in his own parents, in Sensei, and in Kurogiri. All he thinks in the beginning is that people who claim to love you will stand by and let you be hurt, that villains took care of him better than any damn hero, and that he can only truly rely on himself. (And Sensei.)

It takes a loooooooong time of interacting with other people to break himself out of this mindset, and even then, sometimes it comes creeping back if bad things happen.

Getting into canon territory with this one, but really, really, reeeeeeeeally hates heroes because they didn’t even bother to help him when he was going through a whole mental breakdown. Literally one of the only reasons he hates them so much. I know this is pretty much canon, but I doubt he would ever grasp Stain’s ideology of ‘maybe some are good’ because in his eyes, not even the underground pro heroes even bothered to see if he was okay. Remember the scene from the manga with the old lady when he was a child? Yeah. There were bound to be heroes he bumped into, even off-duty ones, and nobody even gave him another glance.

Has extremely bad abandonment issues. If he likes you, he’s gonna want to keep you because he didn’t really have anything nice to call his own while growing up, and Sensei kept him fairly isolated so he literally tolerates nobody else other than him and Kurogiri at first. Reacts horribly when his friends want to break off the friendship. Goes through a whole depressive episode for a while, his old insecurities pop back up, and he really thinks he’s worse than trash and not worth anyone’s time or attention for a while. Prime time for Sensei to further twist his mind.

On that same note, if you’re dating, for the love of everything still good in this world do not break his heart. He will never forgive you. Literally will go to the grave before he forgives you for doing what you did (whether it be cheating on him or completely dropping him like a hot potato). Although this might also extend to little issues that make him feel like you don’t love him enough, he’ll forgive you if you show him plenty of attention and apologize for whatever he was upset over. If you cannot remain patient through his toxic mindsets, it’s best not to get into a relationship in the first place with him if you want to still remain friends afterward, because breaking it off means instant heartbreak.

Anyway! Back to happier, funnier hcs!!

The whole embodiment of the “Wears black in summer because I look good and am willing to suffer” vine. Will not give up his comfy black shirt and sweats for anything because yes, he does look good in black, and yes, he is willing to suffer. He’ll switch to a v-neck tee though. Even he’s not that masochistic.

Really prone to dry skin. I know that’s canon, but just... this poor man can’t keep moisturized to save his own life. Constantly has to apply a special moisturizer that’s specifically made for ultra-sensitive skin and has no scents whatsoever.

Will gripe about having to spend so much money on ointment and moisturizer for both him and Dabi. It’s one of the very few things they bond over, other than having a shitty father and pushover family... and their hatred of All Might.

Shigaraki 100% would be Dabi’s alibi if he actually managed to kill Endeavor. When it comes to the shitty dad club, he’s a fuckin’ ride-or-die.

Kinda sensitive over the fact that both he and Midoriya have the same sort of red shoes, but he loves his pair too much to throw them out. Purposefully aims for Midoriya’s shoes every single time they meet each other on the off chance that they get ruined enough for him to get different shoes, unknowing that he literally can’t just... get differently-colored shoes due to him being originally Quirkless (yes, The Shoes™ theory strikes again)

Literally never forgets a single thing about people he cares about. He’s the type of person who will remember every single thing you tell him about yourself, and especially birthdays. While he doesn’t exactly show his affection very loudly, he would be the type of person who tell you “happy birthday” on the day of as soon as he first sees you, and would treat you a little nicer all day that day.

This boy just has the biggest, scarred heart for his ‘good crowd’. I cannot stress enough just how much like Midoriya he could’ve turned out if he hadn’t been abandoned by society. This mf would give the green bean a run for his motherfuckin money.

“I really just hate the world and everything in it... except for you, maybe I could make an exception for you because you’re nice to me and I appreciate your company too much”

Even though I hc quite a few League members to be like cats when it comes to affection, Shigaraki’s spirit animal is a cat. Likes to lounge about in off-moments, slow to affection and very quick to remember exactly how people treat him, yet if he likes you he shows affection quietly enough that it’s not obvious at first. Like “oh, you’re in the same room as me. It’s not like I missed you or anything, me sitting right next to you at the bar when it’s totally empty means nothing. The fact that I’m looking right at you when you’re talking doesn’t mean I like you.”

LOVES HUGS. If you hug him and he likes you, you’ve probably made his whole day. Depending on how things are going, probably his whole fucking week. Just please hug him, he needs positive affection so bad

Major tsun-tsun. The most tsun-tsun. Grumpy until you get to know him, and if he likes you he’ll show you in little ways: listening to your ideas more, letting you stay closer for longer, maybe getting you something like food.

AFRAID OF TOUCH. I REPEAT, AFRAID OF TOUCH. Not from anyone he likes, of course; this baby is so touch-starved that he deserves a thousand hugs. But if he likes you, he will not initiate physical affection because he’s so afraid of accidentally dusting you. The memories of his family dying (except for his father, because #FuckKotaro2k21) haunt him almost every time he dreams (and if that doesn’t, then other traumatizing events certainly do), and he absolutely would not forgive himself if he dusted his favorite League member/civilian.

Definitely likens the rest of the League to his MVPs after a while of knowing them. Knowing how he operates, it’s adorable.

Would begrudgingly let Toga play around with his hair. I can just see him sitting blank-faced, staring at the mirror as she talks about whatever while brushing and braiding it into a cute plait. He would be hesitant to undo her hard work afterward, no matter how much he grouches that it “ruins his boss vibe”.

The kind of person to go to McDonalds at 3 AM just because he was craving chicken nuggets and ranch. Yes, ranch. He’s an old-school mf who don’t got no time for no barbecue.

Gets really irritated over Toga mooning over Uraraka and Midoriya, but doesn’t stop her from talking about how much she wants to ‘be’ them. (Encourages homicide. Advises homicide. Spinner has to stop her from actually getting ready to commit homicide.)

Disgruntled™

G L O A T S about the time he took away Overhaul’s chance to use his Quirk. “Yeah, we would’ve been satisfied with Compress taking his left arm away to be petty, but then Overhaul had to be a sentient piece of dick cheese, and well, y’know I couldn’t let him get away with that”

It’s becoming a problem. The others have learnt to tune him out once he gets going. Compress just smiles under the mask when he remembers it. Nobody knows what he’s really thinking.

His damn crowning moment. His apex point. There’s no going further beyond that (until he finally defeats Midoriya and takes over Japan as the world’s most feared villain of all time).

“Shigaraki, I’mma let you finish, but AFO still holds the record for being the most infamous villain of all time! Of all time!” <-- let the boy dream okay, he’s been waiting for this moment his whole damn life

Can you tell that I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass? Because I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass

Chronic emo phase. Hears the G note and just sighs heavily

Has probably seen hentai. Doesn’t really get the appeal of high-pitched feminine screams. Probably more of a tiddy man than an ass man. Just... boobie

His first fictional crush was Aeris/Aerith. Legitimately lost his shit when she died.

Man Crush Monday is Sephiroth all the way. Especially his one-winged angel form. Wanted to cosplay him for Halloween but didn’t because the cosplay was too costly.

Will make “That’s what she said” jokes in the most deadpan voice. At least Mustard kinda snickers at them.

Probably would’ve been pretty patient with Eri. Her traumatic past certainly would’ve pitted her as a kindred spirit with him, and he would think her Quirk would be a powerful asset if used right. Probably would’ve practiced it by destroying something and then telling her to rewind it so that he can break it again.

Shigaraki, holding Eri by her armpits: “I’ve only had her for ten minutes but if anything happened to her I’d dust everyone in the room to make her feel better”

The rest of the League: “???????? Okay?????”

Legitimately holds a powerful grudge against parents who abuse or neglect their children, especially against abusive fathers. Almost as powerful as his hatred for All Might. Will actively go after someone he sees is abusive to their children and will not let them live.

Would probably adopt an orphan after killing their abusive parents. “Oh, that was your dad/mom/parent? Well guess you’re mine now. Let’s go get chicken nuggets, kid”

Might somehow rope Dabi into going abusive-parent-hunting with him during a raid. Takes great pleasure in seeing the guilty party’s horrified, pained look on their face as they slowly dissolve into a pile of ash.

#shigaraki headcanons

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iaintyourbro · 4 years

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Mental Gymnastics and the Sanity Question

I wrote this on June 2, 2020 and put it in my drafts. I don’t think I was brave enough to post this because it states how I really feel about things and at times that can be met with resistance. Almost three months later, after more research, talking to others in the fandom, and putting everything together, I’m going to share it now. I also know how to properly add pictures in a post so I’m gonna do that too.

Obviously, this is my opinion on it. Clearly from a fandom perspective, I love Cloud and Tifa as a couple. However, I’m ultimately a “canon-y” person. I do not ship couples without knowing the whole story. I ship after I know what happens. FFVII’s OG... I wasn’t too invested in, so I didn’t really do anything with fandom. I was online for FFVIII, Xenogears, and Gundam Wing. Anything FFVII related was Vincent related.

***

Oh shipping, something I learned about recently. As a person who played FFVII at the age of 12 (well, started it) and then actually completed the game at around 13 or 14, the bulk of it went over my head. FFVIII was a clear cut romance, and probably why it was my favorite FF for 20 years. That being said, FFVII does have an ending, and does have a pretty clear relationship build between two of the characters. That’s then followed through in the additional media for the compilation.

So why is there a fight? I honestly don’t know, and this post isn’t going to answer your questions, probably. I am going to give my opinion on why there is a fight, but I’m not a psychologist. This is how I personally feel about the entire FFVII shipping war and the impact it has on people - especially during the COVID quarantine in many areas.

I played FF7R and was pleasantly surprised. I actually was scared to play it - scared it would change something I enjoyed as a teen. I was one that hoped for a 1 to 1 remake to keep the story solid. The reality is... the OG story is bare bones, which is why they ended up putting out multiple other pieces in the form of games, books, and movies. This bare bones story seemed to also create a war on who our protagonist loves. You realize how bare bones it is after playing the remake.

That’s not to say it’s not a good game or good story. The OG is a fantastic game. It’s a fantastic story. It has the same issues every other RPG has where it has major gaps in the plot due to timing, money, whatever. The difference I’d say with FFVII and the others is the story is MUCH MORE COMPLEX and MUCH MORE MATURE. The closest I’d say is Xenogears, which literally was cut short due to time and money. FFVII and Xenogears also share a lot of similar themes, which makes a lot of sense when you know the “scrapped” FFVII ideas were repurposed.

Most of us were kids or young teens when that game came out. We probably played it and understood about 60% of what was going on. We remember Cloud cross-dressing, we remember Aerith dying, and we remember Sephiroth. (And if you’re me you remember Vincent.)

The first part of the game, you’re given multiple choices on how to respond to things. This ends up being part of a “date mechanic” later on in the game. Feels like you have control, right? You’re the one who is going to determine who Cloud gets to date at the Gold Saucer! Who his life partner is!

Wrong.

Yeah, you make choices and it does determine who you go on a date with. However, you find out much later in the game that Cloud isn’t really Cloud. There are multiple hints early in the game that something isn’t right. It builds up until you literally see a ghostly figure of child Cloud standing there as Cloud beats the crap out of Aerith and gives the Black Materia to Sephiroth. Cloud hears voices during multiple scenes in the game, but meh, whatever. Seeing his child form, though, you’re like UM OKAY.

So, you build up your relationship with Aerith. You say all the right things. You get the date with her, she says she wants to meet you. Then you go to the Temple of the Ancients, a cute little part with Cait Sith giving a fortune that you and her are meant to be... and about 10 minutes later you beat the living shit out of her and hand over the Black Materia to the enemy.

At this point, you realize something is seriously wrong. Aerith disappears. The next time you see her, she dies.

Then the focus is only on getting Sephiroth. Not just because of Aerith, but Cloud is being summoned by him - you just don’t know that until you get there. Cloud realizes that he wasn’t pursuing Sephiroth, he was being pulled to him. I mean, Aerith dies and isn’t mentioned for quite some time. There isn’t any point after she floats down that they really mourn. They go snowboarding and go after Sephiroth.

Then Cloud completely breaks... when TIFA questions what she remembers and can’t give Cloud a clear answer. And this may come as a shock to somebody who was trying to woo Aerith. Why does Tifa matter so much? Cloud didn’t break due to Aerith dying, Cloud broke because Tifa didn’t know how to tell him that he wasn’t in Nibelheim 5 years ago (that she knew of).

They don’t really build the relationship up between Cloud and Tifa until pretty much after this point. They talk about the Promise, they talk about some other quirks, they infer that Tifa has a crush on Cloud.

You really aren’t aware that Cloud has a crush on Tifa until The Lifestream, when IT ALL COMES OUT. To be fair, Cloud didn’t show romantic interest to either girl in OG prior to the Northern Crater, honestly. More so until the Lifestream.

The Crisis of Losing Control

You also lose the ability to make choices at this point in the game.

During the first part, you are acting almost as Cloud’s false persona. The cool SOLDIER Cloud that makes nice or nasty choices towards other characters. You determine, to an extent, how Cloud is. But it’s an illusion.

And Aerith tells us this in the Remake - that whatever you’re feeling now isn’t real. This isn’t a love confession, this is a warning. If you played the OG, you know she’s referring to his false persona.

The reason I think this gets so heated is because of the loss of control, the feeling of betrayal that the one you thought was supposed to be the one is gone, and all along Cloud held deep feelings for Tifa. You’re also probably young and inexperienced when this happens. The romantic notion of Romeo and Juliet, if you will.

I think it also depends on how you deal with Aerith’s death. Personally, it wasn’t a huge deal to me. I was like damn did that just happen? I wouldn’t say I was sad, though, or upset. More shocked? Sadly at this point in my life, I’d already lost family members, and moving on is very important. I also didn’t notice Cloud doing ANYTHING romantic in the OG. It felt one sided all around until much, much later on. So I didn’t see it as Cloud losing the love of his life. I actually had no idea why he was upset except they were friends.

There’s a clear end to the potential romance between Cloud and Aerith - she dies. Now in the world of FFVII, Aerith is a Cetra and has the ability to communicate with the planet and apparently those that are still living once she dies. However, that doesn’t mean that Cloud is going to pursue a relationship with her... that is... crazy, right?

Apparently.. Not?

This is where I start having an issue with shipping. The story clearly shows that Aerith dies. The story clearly shows that Cloud harbors deep feelings for Tifa during the Lifestream scene. Both of these events are set - there are no alternatives, no optional scenes. At no point during the Lifestream is anybody else mentioned as a romantic interest. Tifa dominates this guy’s subconscious. But to some, there does seem to be an alternative.

The most extreme I’ve seen is that Cloud should kill himself to be with Aerith. This is disturbing on so many levels, so I’m not going to talk about it much. This not only misses the point of one of the big themes in FFVII, but also just shows how desperate people are to get what they want.

The other is that Cloud actually only loves Aerith and Tifa was his living rebound. The story doesn’t support this. Watch the Lifestream scene and it’s obvious. Once again, we have no mention of anybody else during this.

The mental gymnastics it takes to put Cloud and Aerith together as the canon couple blows my mind.

***

And that’s where I stopped. I had noticed at the time there was major pushback on anybody who denied romance between Cloud and Aerith. I guess I just wasn’t ready to deal with it nor did I have the confidence I suppose. Now I’m confident in that after three months of observing, learning, and contemplating.

So I’ll finish with a few thoughts because apparently in fandom land three months is a long time.

COVID-19 Quarantine

The majority of the world went under quarantine earlier this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Personally, the last time I saw my cubicle was March 9. Not that I’m sad, because I do enjoy working remotely. But it’s not just my cubicle, restaurants, zoos, everything was shut down and is slowly opening up but I’m not exactly keen on going somewhere unless I absolutely have to.

This gave me a ton of time to do other things. FFVII Remake came out, so I played that and, yeah, I got really obsessed and went into this depressed void of what the fuck am I going to do until the next part comes out? Hello, online fandom. Hello, insanity.

I’ve learned that the FFVII online fandom - specifically the shipping fandom - is crazy in good and bad ways. This, of course, was reignited by the Remake’s release, but most likely really amplified due to people being under quarantine. This is an escape from reality for a while. An escape from the constant depressing news cycle.

Before I discovered fandom I was obsessed with COVID-19 information. I watched all kinds of new broadcasts, Dr. Fauci, random people on YouTube, and it was overwhelming after a while. Remake saved me from that. I played Remake before I went into fandom. I played it as a non-shipper. I was slammed in the face with how amazing they portrayed Cloud and Tifa.

Self Insertion

The other piece that seems to be apparent in angry shippers is the idea of self insertion. This simply means that you put yourself in the place of the character, so you begin to take things personally. If a person self inserts as Cloud, and their personal preference is Aerith, they become angry when Aerith dies and we find out who Cloud TRULY loves. If somebody self inserts as Aerith, they’re upset that they were never a real love interest.

Most people go “oh okay, I see.” and move on and/or move to fanon if they truly wanted those two together.

Then there’s the people who, for 20+ years, spread false information, attack, stalk, and go ballistic anytime there’s any type of evidence that they were wrong.

The Big Ego

Nobody likes being wrong. FFVII has a major twist in it that causes you to go into a daze, and I do think they do a great job with that. Aerith isn’t it. Her death isn’t the big twist. It’s Cloud that’s the big twist. Going through the Lifestream (and even prior at the Northern Crater) reveals like ohhh shiitttt everything you know about Cloud is a lie.

And he even tells us it’s an illusion. Imagine that?

I am very strongly swayed by evidence from official resources. I suppose I take a scientific approach to this. I cannot find canon evidence that Cloud ever held any romantic feelings towards Aerith. Therefore, to me, Cloud never held any romantic feelings for anyone but Tifa because that’s what the game and resources tell us.

Luckily, the Remake is making things clear. The devs are being more direct when answering questions.

There was never supposed to be ambiguity or “player choice”. The fact that you lose player choice at one point and there are fixed events in the game (The Lifestream) that cannot be changed should have been evidence enough. The fact that there are not multiple endings should have been a clue.

With all of this being said, it shouldn’t matter what I say if you want to ship a fanon ship. I do not see any romance between Cloud and Aerith and I never have. There is no supporting evidence of it. I generally am boring - I don’t try to fanon too much stuff that I have other evidence for. I’ll do it in jest.

My opinion on Cloud and Aerith in general is I don’t think they work or ever could work. That shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the ship. You cannot claim canon on a ship though unless there’s evidence. There’s way too much twisting, lying, and deletion to justify certain ships. This is one of them.

#cloti #cloud x tifa #ff7 shipping war #ff7 ltd #ff7 #ff7 spoilers #ff7r #ff7r spoilers #don't let canon stop your fanon #canonny #yeah i'm boring #final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii remake #cloud strife #tifa lockhart

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sephinova · 6 years

Text

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Summary: Lucrecia finally gets to spend some time with her son Sephiroth but at a price; to let Jenova tag along and bake cookies in Lucrecia’s kitchen much to the former scientist’s displeasure. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairing: Vincent/Lucrecia (featured but not the main focus of the story)

Rating: Teen.

Warnings: A weird mix of silly and serious, may cause cookie cravings.

Word Count: 3019

Special Message: Happy Birthday to my best friend @demon-prince (aka @missmhc on her art blog)! It’s okay if you don’t remember, it must have been about five years ago when we were on Skype and you came up with this little roleplay idea of Lucrecia and Jenova baking cookies for Sephiroth and Vincent. I still am very fond of that little rp even though it was cut very short and I always wanted to write or draw something based on it. This fanfic in some parts probably isn’t how you want the story to go, however, I still hope it brings a smile to your face even though it’s badly written. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day filled with love, fun and presents! :D

You can also read this on AO3.

Lucrecia wondered how she got into this situation. Sure, she was happy to be with Vincent and overjoyed to meet her son Sephiroth after all these years but here she was in her kitchen baking cookies with none other that son-stealing monstrosity Jenova. In truth, Lucrecia would never have allowed Jenova into her house and use her kitchen but Sephiroth wanted Jenova with him. Vincent told her it was best to let the alien tag along and tolerate her if she wanted any chance of getting to know her son and possibly form a relationship with him.

Jenova had the 'wonderful' idea of wanting to bake cookies, Lucrecia was about to object until Sephiroth piped up saying how much he loves 'Mother's home-made cookies'. If this was the price to pay for getting to know her son then so be it, but there was no way in hell she was going to let that monster use her kitchen by herself, she was baking cookies too.

The former scientist glared at Jenova as she tipped the small bowl of chocolate chips into the bigger glass bowl of cookie dough, her eyes travelled downward to the alien's magenta apron which had 'Universe's Greatest Mom' written in a white curly font. Spiteful bitch.

Jenova noticed Lucrecia's glare and smirked. ''Keep frowning and your face will freeze like that.'' Jenova remarked.

''You're doing this just to spite me, aren't you!? Lucrecia spat as she aggressively mixed her cookie dough.

''I don't know what you're talking about, I just like baking.'' Jenova said innocently.

''Don't play dumb! You know what I'm talking about! Sephiroth!''

''What about Sephiroth?''

''You're baking cookies for Sephiroth just to hurt me because you lied to him into believing you're his mother!''

''He was injected with my cells when he was a fetus so in a way I am also his mother.'' Jenova informed scooping up spoonfuls of cookie dough placing them on her baking tray.

''That's not the same thing as conceiving and giving birth!''

''Then what about all the women who adopt? Are they lesser mothers because their children didn't come from their bodies?''

''Th-that's...'' Lucrecia stuttered unable to come up with a good comeback. She let out a frustrated sigh of defeat.

Keep calm, don't let her get to you, Lucrecia. This is about Sephiroth, not her. You're going to bake cookies for him like you've always dreamed of since before he was born. Lucrecia mentally reassured herself taking slow deep breaths whilst placing dollops of cookie dough onto her baking tray.

The two mothers went over to the preheated double oven, Jenova opened the door and placed her tray on the middle shelf to the right and Lucrecia placed her's to the left. The former scientist set her egg timer on for ten minutes. - ''The cookies are done!'' Lucrecia announced walking into the living room with Jenova in tow. They placed their plates of cookies on the coffee table, Lucrecia's plate was purple and Jenova's green.

''Thank you, Lucrecia.'' Vincent smiled taking a cookie from the purple plate.

''Thank you, Mother. These look delicious.'' Sephiroth thanked as he took a cookie from the green plate and taking a bite out of it.

''You're welcome, dear. Enjoy.'' Jenova replied, affectionately stroking the back of Sephiroth's head with one of her tentacles.

Lucrecia's heart dropped to hear Sephiroth call that abomination mother and the fact that he didn't even so much as acknowledge her. She saw the empty space on the sofa where her son was sitting, she was about to take a step towards it and as if her mind had been read, Jenova sat down on the vacant seat, one of the alien's tentacles reached to grab a cookie from the green plate. Lucrecia clenched her fists, her tolerance was already wearing thin.

How dare she sit next to my son! Why can't she use her hands like everyone else instead of those filthy things!? Irritated, she sat beside Vincent on the other sofa.

''Hmmmm... you make the best cookies, Mother.'' Sephiroth praised as he brought another cookie to his mouth.

''W-would you like to try one of my cookies? There's plenty to go around.'' Lucrecia offered gesturing to her purple plate.

Sephiroth glared at the woman who gave birth to him as he chewed the crunchy sweet treat and swallowed. ''No.''

''I'm sure you would like them if you ga-''

''I said no.'' The One-Winged Angel declined firmly.

The former scientist bit down on the insides of her cheeks in an attempt to control her emotions from boiling over all the while staring at the alien opposite her. I bet that manipulative bitch has told Sephiroth not to eat my cookies! My poor boy, he seems happy around her but I suspect that he's afraid of disobeying her!

Jenova met Lucrecia's angry stare, she stared back, her expression neutral. Lucrecia averted her chocolate brown eyes to one of the alien's tentacles that hovered over the green plate of cookies, the tip of the long appendage touched one cookie, another one and another.

Lucrecia's eye twitched. Why the heck is she contaminating the food my son is eating!? Who knows where those things have been!? Does she even wash them!? Isn't Sephiroth bothered by this!?

The atmosphere of the living room was thick with tension Vincent found it almost suffocating. He followed his lover's gaze to the tentacle, she was clearly irritated by it and he couldn't deny that he was squicked out by it too. He worried that if Jenova didn't stop all hell would break loose.

''Lucrecia, you haven't had a cookie yet, don't you want one?'' The ex-Turk asked putting his arm around Lucrecia's shoulders in an attempt to distract her, however, she ignored him and continued to stare at the annoying appendage.

Sephiroth's hand reached to take another cookie, one that had been touched by Jenova and took a bite out of it, Lucrecia felt sick. HOW DARE SHE CORRUPT MY BABY INTO EATING TENTACLE CONTAMINATED COOKIES!

Seething with rage, the former scientist began to hyperventilate.

''Lucrecia, calm down. She's not worth it.'' Vincent whispered, gently rubbing his lover's shoulder.

''Stop doing that!'' Lucrecia angrily demanded behind gritted teeth.

Jenova raised an eyebrow, her face the picture of pure innocence. ''Stop doing what?''

''Stop spreading your disgusting germs all over the cookies my son is eating!'' Lucrecia yelled pointing her finger at the alien's tentacle.

''Mother is only deciding what coo-''

''THAT 'THING' IS NOT YOUR MOTHER! I AM!'' Lucrecia screamed standing up pointing to Jenova and then to herself interrupting Sephiroth.

''I wouldn't have been if you hadn't consented to have our son injected with supposed 'Cetra cells'.'' Jenova reminded.

''YOU STOLE MY SON AWAY!''

''Hojo stole him away.''

''IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU AND HOJO I'D STILL HAVE MY SON!'' Lucrecia sobbed running out of the living room and into the kitchen with Vincent following behind her.

The former scientist dropped to her knees and leaned her forehead against one of the kitchen's many cupboards with tears falling from her reddened face. Vincent knelt down beside Lucrecia and embraced her.

''I'm sorry, Lucrecia. This was a big mistake, I should have never convinced you into tolerating Jenova.'' Vincent apologised.

''Please... leave me alone...'' Lucrecia wept covering her face with her hands.

''I can't leave you like this.''

''Leave me alone.''

''Shall I tell them to leave?''

''All I want for you to do is to leave me alone... Please, Vincent.''

Vincent hated seeing the love of his life in distress. He knew how much it meant the world to her to finally spend some time with her son but with Jenova's antics and Sephiroth's cold behaviour, he wondered if all this was really worth it, it would just cause her more pain in the long run.

Respecting her wishes, the ex-Turk reluctantly rose to his feet, he walked over to the kitchen door and looked back at Lucrecia, a sad sigh escaped him as he left the room.

After several minutes of crying, Lucrecia wiped her face with her hands and stood up. She looked around the kitchen, her eyes locking onto the glass bowls that held Jenova's prepared ingredients for the next batch of cookies. Still very much angry, she yanked open her pantry door and grabbed the container of salt. She rushed over to the ingredients, opened the salt container and-

''What do you think you are doing?''

Lucrecia froze, regret immediately struck her the second she heard that all too familiar silky voice. She slowly turned around to see Jenova looming over her.

Jenova tutted shaking her head. ''I wonder what Sephiroth would think of you sabotaging my ingredients? I can't imagine he would be too happy.''

''I wasn't thinking, please don't tell him!'' Lucrecia pleaded.

''Forever destroying your chances of getting to know our dear son, you truly do make the worst decisions that ruin your life as well as the lives of others.''

''Don't tell him! Please! I'll do anything!''

Jenova's pink eyes lit up with intrigue. ''Anything?''

''Yes! Anything!''

''Hmmmmm... Well...''

Jenova moved closer towards the desperate woman. Lucrecia backed away until her back came up against the kitchen worktop, her heart raced anxiously anticipating what the monster had in store for her.

''Is everything all right, Mother?''

The two mothers turned to see Sephiroth who stood at the kitchen's entrance.

''Is she causing you trouble?''

Jenova looked back at Lucrecia, her lips turned up into a devilish grin.

Oh no! She's going to tell him! This's all my fault! Why do I keep making all these stupid mistakes!? Ashamed, the former scientist wished for the ground to crumble beneath her feet and swallow her up, there was no way Sephiroth would let something like this slide.

''We were just debating about what the best chocolate chips to use for baking cookies are. I think Mrs. Moggy's brand makes the best chocolate chips, especially their white chocolate is sweet and creamy...'' Jenova lied.

Lucrecia gawked in disbelief at what she was hearing. Wh-what!? Am I hearing that right!? Jenova's lying about my sabotage attempt!? But why would she do that!?

''...You know how sometimes debates get a little heated. Isn't that right, Lucrecia?''

''Y-ye-yes! I-I think that N-Nibelheim's traditional milk chocolate is the b-best for cookies, it's rich flavour c-combined with cookie dough is very delicious, it's so much better than Mrs. Moggy's!'' The former scientist blurted out her lie hoping she sounded convincing enough.

''I... see. I came in here for a glass of water.''

''The g-glasses are in that cupboard, we o-only have water from the faucet but help yourself to as much as you want!'' Lucrecia said smiling at her son pointing to a cupboard.

The One-Winged Angel strolled over to the cupboard, took a glass, filled it with cold water and left the kitchen without saying a word.

Still in shock, Lucrecia gaped at the alien who was now putting her apron back on. Jenova noticed Lucrecia's gaze, cupped her cheeks with her hands and giggled.

''Oh my, you staring at me like that is going to make me blush. I didn't know you felt that way about me, Dr. Crescent... Poor Vincent.'' The alien teased.

''Ewww! In your dreams!'' The former scientist snapped out of her shock huffing in disgust. She stormed out of the kitchen into the hallway slamming the door, she could still hear Jenova's laughter from behind the door.

Whatever Jenova's reasoning was for lying Lucrecia was relieved, though for all she knew that monstrosity could still tell Sephiroth the truth at any time and as much as she hated leaving Jenova on her own in the kitchen Lucrecia needed a break from her and entered the living room.

''I heard the door slam, are you all right, Lucrecia?'' Vincent asked with concern in his voice.

''I-I'm fine, she was annoying me.'' Lucrecia reassured.

Lucrecia looked at her son who was standing at the window with his back turned. Her gaze fell on the coffee table, there were three cookies remaining on the green plate and six on the purple plate. Now that monster is out of the room I wonder if Sephiroth will eat one of my cookies?

''Ummm... Se-Sephiroth?''

The One-Winged Angel remained unmoving.

''W-would you like to try one of my cookies?''

''I have already told you my answer.'' Sephiroth replied coldly.

Hurt, the former scientist lowered her head, tears welling up in her eyes. I guess he genuinely doesn't want to try my cookies... I can't blame him...

''I understand... I'm sorry for asking again...... There's something I need to attend to, I'll be right back.'' Lucrecia spoke in almost a whisper. She left the living room closing the door behind her, her footfalls could be heard running up the stairs.

Vincent knew his lover was crying again, he wanted nothing more than to go up and comfort her, however, with Jenova out of the way he felt he could no longer hold back his tongue.

''Sephiroth, I understand you feel betrayed and you can't forgive Lucrecia but she baked those cookies with you in mind.''

''And she thinks that baking treats for me will make everything better?'' Sephiroth retorted glaring at Vincent.

''No, she doesn't. She knows that no matter what she does or how many times she apologises it will never make it up for what she did to you and all the years she has been absent from your life. There's not a day that goes by that she isn't filled with regrets of the past, she loves you more than you could ever realise...''

Sephiroth sipped his glass of water listening to the ex-Turk.

''...I can't force you but It would bring her so much joy if you eat at least one of her cookies.''

''Why should I care about her happiness?''

''If you won't do it for her, then do it for yourself because you're feeling hungry. Think of it that way if anything.''

Sephiroth sat back down on the sofa, his arms crossed and his eyes focusing on the purple plate of cookies. Vincent could only hope that the One-Winged Angel was taking what he said into consideration.

Many minutes passed and Lucrecia returned back to the living room. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying but she forced a smile for her son and Vincent.

''I'm sorry, I was gone a little longer than I wanted.'' Lucrecia apologised sitting next to Vincent.

''There's no need to apologise.'' Vincent smiled warmly at his lover taking her hand in his.

Suddenly, Sephiroth extended his arm taking a cookie from the purple plate. Lucrecia's eyes widened at the unexpected surprise watching her son take a bite out of it.

''H-how is it? Do you like it?'' Lucrecia asked eager for his answer.

Sephiroth swallowed. ''It's acceptable.''

Unable to contain her happiness Lucrecia beamed. ''I'm glad you think so!''

SMASH!

Panic filled Lucrecia as she jumped out of her seat and hurried to the source of the loud noise coming from the kitchen. She opened the door and gasped, shattered glass was scattered all over the black tiled floor.

''YOU BROKE MY GLASS MIXING BOWLS!'' Lucrecia screeched at Jenova.

''They slipped out of my tentacle by accident when I was about to put them in the sink.'' Jenova explained wrapping her freshly baked cookies in clingfilm.

''WHY CAN'T YOU USE YOUR HANDS LIKE HUMANS DO!?''

''I'm not a human.''

''Don't worry, Lucrecia, we can always buy new mixing bowls.'' Vincent reassured.

''WE'RE NOT BUYING NEW MIXING BOWLS, SHE IS!''

''They're just bowls, I don't understand why you're getting so upset about something so insignificant.''

''THEY COST MONEY!''

''Money I don't have.''

''AND YOU'RE GOING TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS!'' Lucrecia rushed out into the hallway to the tiny storage room.

''Not my house, not my problem. Sephiroth! We're leaving!'' Jenova called out to her son taking her clingfilm wrapped cookies, barging passed Vincent nearly pushing him over and exited out the front door.

''COME BACK HERE!'' Lucrecia chased after the alien outside with a dustpan and broom in her hands.

Before the former scientist could catch up to her, Jenova spread her wings and ascended into the sky.

Lucrecia stopped her pursuit when she saw Sephiroth fly past above her. ''It was nice meeting you, Sephiroth! I hope to see you again! Take care!''

The One-Winged Angel glanced back at his birth mother, following Jenova into the distance.

Lucrecia watched as her son fly away until he no longer could be seen, she let out a tired sigh and headed back into her home.

''You look exhausted. You should get some rest.'' Vincent welcomed his lover back indoors closing the door behind her.

''The kitchen floor isn't going to tidy itself.''

''I'll tidy the kitchen.''

''Are you sure?''

The ex-Turk nodded. ''And when I'm finished I'll make you a cup of tea.''

''Thank you, darling, you're too good to me.'' Lucrecia handed the dustpan and broom to him and turned the doorknob to the living room.

''Lucrecia, I'm very sorry that today didn't turn out so well.''

''It's not you're fault, I should have known this was going to be the outcome.''

''But I-''

''It's alright, I don't blame you... you were only trying to help.''

As soon as Lucrecia entered the living room she closed her eyes and collapsed on the comfortable sofa her head landing on a plump cushion. Today had been far too stressful, Jenova certainly knew how to push her buttons or maybe the fact that she detested the alien so much heightened her emotions. Sephiroth probably hates me even more now that I kept screaming at Jenova... he'll never want to see me again... but I'm so pleased I got to finally meet him, my son has grown into a strong young man...

She opened her eyes, something on the coffee table caught her attention. She sat up, on closer inspection, her eyes brightened with delight and beamed at the sight before her, all of the cookies on the purple plate were gone.

Now I leave you with the mental image of Sephiroth stuffing his face cookies, you’re welcome! lol XD

#lucrecia crescent #jenova #Sephiroth #vincent valentine #vincrecia #vincent/lucrecia #Final Fantasy #final fantasy vii #Final Fantasy 7 #ff #FFVII #ff7 #fanfiction #fanfic #my fanfiction #my fanfic

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leonawriter · 6 years

Text

Second Chances

Read it on AO3

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Characters: Cloud, Shelke, Genesis, various others.

Summary: Following on from First Encounters, Shelke helps bring certain things to light about their new acquaintance. When Cloud finally finds him again, his attempts at getting answers are less than fruitful.

Written for @strifesodosweek, though this one’s mainly platonic again.

...

It happens while Genesis is away, and no one knows where he's gone. It isn't the first time that's happened, and they weren't too bothered about it, because everyone had things they didn't want to talk about, something that Cloud understood more than most.

It's one of those rare occasions when there's more people around than there aren't, too, which he'd be suspicious of if it weren't for how sometimes, that's just how things are.

Vincent's talking to Tifa, Yuffie's stroking Nanaki's mane, and Cid's taking a drag of a cigarette by the door when Shelke comes walking in, looking vaguely uncomfortable and saying that she had 'information that she believed that everyone present might benefit from'.

...

"The man who is now staying here, I believe that he is the one that Deepground referred to as 'G'," she continues as soon as everyone is settled down. "He introduced himself to Cloud as a SOLDIER First Class, am I correct?"

Cloud nods. He doesn't look her in the eye.

"G... as we now know him, 'Genesis', was the origin of Deepground, in many ways, according to all of the information I was able to obtain on the matter, and the one whose cells were used in order to create the Tsviets. Shinra seems to have made extensive attempts to delete his existence from history, so what I was able to find was... at times inadequate, and often inconclusive, but does point to the indubitable fact that the Genesis we know may be the very same as the SOLDIER who despite Shinra's efforts, will agree caused a considerable amount of damage and loss of life up until some years ago."

It took effort for Cloud to not let the ringing in his ears overtake him, to keep listening to what was being said, to not grip the table so hard that Tifa was going to have to get a new one.

Tifa sighs, and he looks up, to see her sharing a look with Cid, who looks grim, but...

"Yeah, I figured as much," the man says. "I mean, with a name like that? There's only so many in the world, y'know? And damn, but I was around in those days - they can pretend it didn't happen as much as they like, but the Genesis war was a thing, and people tend to talk when there's something going on like a SOLDIER gone rogue. All hush-hush of course, but what wasn't."

His head- his head...

The world flashed green, just for a split second, enough to put him off balance.

A voice-

You were a test subject in Hojo's new experiment.

The monster has been harvested, and can be discarded.

"...thought I knew him from somewhere."

Tifa's voice snapped him free, but he still felt the sweat on the back of his neck. Her words registered to him only vaguely, as he tried to remember how to breathe again.

"Cloud?"

He shakes his head.

"I'm fine," he says. Vincent doesn't look much like he believes him any more than Tifa does, but the last thing he wants right now is for them to start fussing over him, when they have bigger problems at hand than whatever his memories are up to this time. He's thankful when they just let the matter drop.

"Like I was saying, I thought I knew him from somewhere. His face seemed familiar, you know? And his name, somehow."

"So this guy waltzes in here like he doesn't expect anyone's gonna remember him, is that it?"

"I don't know, something about this seems-"

"He saved Raye and Este before I could get to them," Cloud cuts in, his eyes still squarely on the surface of the table and no one and nothing else. It's almost as though he's hearing someone else speak, and doesn't know whether to hate himself for speaking up for the person he didn't know if he could trust any longer, or feel relieved that he was saying it at all. "If all anyone's got is incomplete data and rumours," including me, he added silently, even now, I wouldn't rely on anything I remember from back then unless someone else is able to back it up, "then... even if nothing else... we can't judge him like that until we know everything."

When he eventually looks back up, Shelke's eyes are on her hands, crossed on her lap.

"I merely thought that additional information would be useful," she said. "Especially if something came up where a lack of prior knowledge would have caused further divisions."

...

Genesis doesn't return for several days, and it's long enough for some of the others to start wondering if he'd merely been toying with them, stringing them along, using their hospitality.

Cloud doesn't know what to think, and he doesn't really know what he wants to think, either. The two images in his head - that of the man who saved a couple of kids and their dog just because he was there, and that of someone who'd had a war named after him - clashed, irreconcilable.

He finds that his feet are taking him to the church in Sector Five, and wonders what Aerith would make of all this. What Zack would make of it.

The last thing he expects to find in the church are black feathers. His heart stops, hand going for his sword - the last time he had seen feathers like these... it hadn't been here, but Loz had been here, and fought Tifa, too.

A quick scan of the rest of the church suggested that there hadn't been another fight here, that nothing was out of place, that the pool of water that Aerith had called down that cured Geostigma was still as it should be.

He finally sees the source of the feathers when he looks up to check that the Buster Sword is still in its place, and he feels himself go cold at the sight.

The wing was on the wrong side. Misshapen, compared to Sephiroth's.

Instead of silvery-white hair falling straight down, the owner's hair was red, and fell over black and red leather, what little could be seen from behind, and with the way that the winged man was hunched over.

Cloud puts one foot in front of the other, and sees Genesis - because there's no one else it could be, no matter how much he wishes it wasn't - tense at the sound.

"Shelke told us a few things," he says as he walks. "And we figured out a few other bits by ourselves."

He pauses several feet away, but Genesis still hasn't risen from the pew. He hasn't even turned to face him. A nervous tension pools in Cloud's stomach at the idea of Genesis, who had been unarmed the last he knew, taking Buster Sword and using it to turn on them all.

"What are you even doing here?"

When Loz had come, it was supposedly to find him, although he'd taken to fighting Tifa and stealing their materia. He had no such understanding of this man's motives. Not anymore, at least, if he ever had.

"My soul, corrupted by vengeance, hath endured torment... to find the end of the journey in my own salvation and your eternal slumber." Genesis let the church echo for a few moments before saying anything else, the words ringing familiar to Cloud, but not explaining anything. "I came to pay my respects, of course."

The wing shook itself out slightly, before settling down again.

"You knew Zack," he says, and it isn't a question. It's the only thing that fits.

"I... suppose you could say that."

Genesis says it in such a way that Cloud knows there's more to it, that it's complicated, and he wants to take the man by that stupid coat of his, and shake him until his feathers fall out along with some answers.

But he doesn't. Because Aerith's flowers aren't that far away, and he knew better than any that her presence still hadn't truly left them. There'd already been enough fighting in this place.

"I spoke up for you," Cloud hears himself saying. "I thought you deserved a chance."

Perhaps some part of him had intended it to come out as anything other than confrontational, but if it did, then it failed - it sounds like nothing more than an accusation.

"All in all, a terrible decision, really," Genesis says flatly. "I could list off any number of reasons why you and everyone else I've come into contact with should hate me." Something about the way he said it gave Cloud no doubt about that, either. "Unfortunately for you, however, I have promises to keep, and none of them include dying any time soon."

Genesis stands, and the wing stretches out as the man sorts himself out, head tilting up, as though attempting to judge the size of and distance to the hole in the roof.

"Promises?" Cloud asks, reaching for something, anything, to help him understand. "What sort of promises?"

"Nothing you need to worry yourself over, Cloud."

Genesis' head tilted, and Cloud wondered why hearing this man say his name already felt so different from when Sephiroth had - there was something similar but off that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Then again, that was Genesis all over, it seemed. Full of contradictions, constantly shifting. Like fire.

The wing flaps once, and before Cloud can react to say or do anything else, Genesis is gone, leaving a trail of feathers floating down in his wake.

He walks over to where the man had been, half expecting to see something there, some kind of trap, but finds nothing.

There is, however, a single Banora White apple sitting on top of a few black feathers in front of the Buster Sword, and Cloud almost thinks that he can feel a memory on the tip of his tongue before it disappears on him, like a whisper on the wind.

Zack... I hope I made the right decision.

A single feather fell onto the water's surface as he walked back to the open doors, creating ripples as the wind blew it this way and that.

...

AN: I don't often write about 'how do the gang find out about Genesis' past', but I do feel like it should ideally be handled really carefully, and yeah, if people hadn't thought about it and then it comes up later, then there are going to be issues there.

Timeline-wise, I'd also put this as before 'Spar With Me', which gives an idea that things do indeed get better.

#ffvii #ff7 stuff #final fantasy vii #strifesodosweek2018 #genesis rhapsodos #Leona fic #somehow Genesis finds a way to make LOVELESS aspersions even when he isn't there #now THAT is some skill

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choco-glow · 3 years

Text

Dance With Me, Pt. 2

Cid expertly turned steaks on his grill one-handed while he drank a beer, pausing to adjust one of the vegetable kebabs so that it was seared, not charcoal, and kept his eye on the AVALANCHE crew lounging in his backyard. Ordinarily, he didn’t have people over except his crews, but thankfully, tonight had coincided with his head coordinator Buddy’s birthday, and so everyone else was at the kegger getting wasted. He’d even nipped in for a bit while Tifa gathered her team together, played the gracious boss that gave them all a half-day to sober up tomorrow, then slipped back out to his own place. Cid sighed a little, glad he wasn’t at the bigger party; he was gettin’ too old for that shit.

“Can I help any, Captain?” He couldn’t stop the smile as Tifa walked up, still barefoot, her feet whispering over the clover, and though she looked so young (too young, Highwind, way too young for you), she bore the mantle of years of responsibility. He could read it in the way she walked, the way she held herself; it was the same mantle he saw in the mirror every day. He almost pitied her, but stopped himself; respect was her due, not pity.

“Nah, but thankee. Food’s almost done, an’ you an’ Miss Aerith helped plenty with th’ side dishes, which I appreciate.”

“It’s the least we can do for letting us stay the night, and making us dinner, Captain.” Cid did his best not to puff up in pride at his title, but goddamn, it was nice to hear; the ninja had called him Ciddy right off the bat, and his eye still twitched over that, while the others went with Highwind or Cid. Except for Miss Tifa, and the former Turk, Valentine. He caught sight of Vincent out of the corner of his eye, curious, because he’d met the dour gunman before…but he wasn’t sure if Valentine remembered him. He’d been stationed in Nibelheim ten years ago, prior to the whole mess with Sephiroth, working with the locals and running the small Air Corps. base…and he remembered meeting the gunman when he and his men had been sent into the old mansion to pick up some materials for Hojo.

Vincent Valentine, Turk, son of Grimoire Valentine, scientist for Shin-Ra…small wonder he’s joined up with AVALANCHE. Between what th’ bastards did to his father an’ his girl…still. I wonder how much he’s told the others… But, that was years in the past now, and Cid turned his attention back to Tifa, still smiling. Because she’s goddamn purty and just…if I were ten years younger… He cut off the wistful thoughts, though, and offered her a beer; she took it with a grin, popping the cap off like a pro and winging it into the trash can, her gauntlets deft despite the extra padding and weight from the metal bars that protected her knuckles. Fuck, that’s hot. I love a woman who can kick my ass.

“Still, it’s appreciated. Think you’ll like that, it’s a local IPA. An’ before ya ask, there’s a reason we don’t have an inn ‘round here.”

“All the better to keep the assholes away?” She replied, voice wry, and he grinned again, toasting her with his bottle; she clinked rims with him, a grin on her own lips, and they drank together. Tifa paused after that, impressed, and saluted him with the bottle. “You weren’t kidding, this is awesome! If I still had Seventh Heaven, I’d be importing this.”

“Ya owned a bar in Midgar? Well damn, girl!” She grinned at that, a real, toothy grin, and Cid grinned back, laying steaks out on the platter and filling the second plate with kebabs. “That’s impressive. Where at?” Her grin faded as sorrow touched her features, and Cid bit back a swear, swallowing. “…just ignore that, Miss Tifa.”

“…No. No, it’s okay that you asked.” She took a deep breath, let it out, and Cid swallowed, turning down the grill now, glad that most everyone else was busy in a card game and getting cleaned out by Aerith. Tifa gave him a weary smile, and gently picked up the plate of kebabs. “Tell you what; let’s eat first, then we’ll talk, just you and I, okay? There’s…a lot of bad has happened in the world over the last few weeks, and I’m damn sure that no one’s filled you folks in here at Rocket Town.”

“…You’d be damn right about that, Miss Tifa. Deal. We can wait till th’ others go to bed and talk on the porch; there’s a part by the kitchen on th’ side here that no one’ll hear us talk.” She relaxed at that, and he smiled softly. “C’mon, let’s feed th’ grumpy ones an’ get everyone trundled off.”

“Thank you, Captain…”

“Eh, y’can call me Cid, Miss Tifa.” She smiled at that, a real smile now, and Cid basked in its warmth, sighing internally all over again. Goddammit, I wish I wasn’t old…

“Then call me Tifa, Cid.” With that, they brought the food over to the big table and for once, Cid found himself enjoying being part of a group where he wasn’t the sole authority. Sure, he liked being the boss, but sometimes, it was nice to just…be. And he couldn’t do that with his engineers, his contractors, his safety people; he had to be on top of everyone to keep things running smoothly. Not that his people had to have micromanaging, nothing like that; more…his people needed that reassurance that whatever orders Shin-Ra gave, their Captain would do his best to make them work. Palmer certainly didn’t give a shit.

Here, though…Barret was talking animatedly about his daughter, Marlene, while Cloud, the ex-SOLDIER with the glowing blue eyes, quietly snarked with Valentine, who was going over a map of the northern coastline to reacquaint himself with the area. Yuffie was a little annoying, but Aerith was clearly a master of keeping people occupied, and he breathed a little easier as Yuffie chattered to Aerith about her home in Wutai, after Cid had made it clear that he hadn’t supported the invasion all those years ago, and that he hadn’t had anything against the Wutaiian people.

Red was settled on a few old towels that Cid had laid out, finishing off his own steak and looking rather content to settle down under the stars, while the odd black tuxedo cat with the cape and crown sat at the table, eating a much smaller portion and mostly added in commentary to Aerith and Yuffie’s conversation. Tifa was across from him, looking more worn and tired now, and Cid thought about telling her to go to sleep, intending to look things up over the Gaianet later…when she caught his eye, and he knew, despite her exhaustion, that she needed to talk about things. No one’s talked to her about this…

He almost kicked the others out on principle alone, but the sudden rage vanished in a wave of sorrow for the young woman. Girl’s been carrying all th’ grief on her shoulders…and that is grief, not just regular bad news. Goddamn, what th’ fuck is happenin’ out there… He’d find out soon enough, and after plying the others with a few more beers, managed to chase them all upstairs to his spare rooms, glad that he’d aired everything out with Tifa earlier and made the beds. He didn’t have enough rooms for everyone to have singles, but no one had to share over much, and Valentine and Red were comfortable together, while Aerith and Yuffie were happy to share. Cloud had actually taken to the spare cot with better humor than Cid had thought, and Barret, of course, had the larger bed…

Tifa had looked a little lost, when Cid had casually mentioned that he’d given her his bed while he set up a cot downstairs in his sunroom.

“Captain, I can’t take your bed!”

“Nope, not lettin’ a lady sleep on a cot. Th’ SOLDIER’s pr’bably enjoyin’ his, but y’all been sleepin’ in tents on th’ ground; ain’t lettin’ ya spend tonight on a measly cot.” She’d blushed, thanked him profusely, and now…as she padded out onto the porch with him, still comfortably barefoot, Tifa pulled off her gauntlets and set them on the little table by his porch swing, settling in next to him with a tired sigh. He kicked his boots back off, peeling off his socks before stuffing them in the tops of his boots, and lit a fresh cigarette; he’d been dyin’ for a smoke all night, and finally gave into his vice as the moon rose over Rocket Town.

“…could I bum a smoke off you, Cid?” Tifa murmured, and he handed her both his pack and his lighter, feeling a curl of warmth in his belly at the way she said his name. She took both with a smile, and lit up with ease, passing them back for him to shove in his shirt pocket again. She took a long drag off the cigarette, the cherry burning bright, and he watched smoke curl out of her nostrils, then blowing out on a heavy sigh. “Thank you.”

“Yer welcome, Tifa.” Dark red eyes, so dark in the night that they could have been black flickered up to gaze at him, and he lost himself in them for a long moment. “…How long ya been carryin’ this shit, honey?” She stubbed out her cigarette, and those dark eyes squeezed shut, pain creasing them, and Cid couldn’t help himself; he pulled her into a hug against his side, tucking her into his chest, and when the first sob came, he started rocking the swing, stabbing his own cig out in the ashtray and wrapping both his arms around her. “Oh honey…cry it out…that’s it…”

Tifa raged and wept about the destruction of Sector Seven, their roles in the reactor explosions, the Turks, Aerith’s kidnapping, infiltrating Shin-Ra…Hojo’s monsters, and the Whispers that had plagued them. Cid wanted to clarify several things, wanted to ask…but she was still sobbing, still grieving over the people she’d lost, the lives cut down so cruelly, and Cid couldn’t interrupt that grieving…she needed to heal. So, he kept rocking the porch swing, keeping her hugged tight, letting her curl up on the swing and let it out all…and when she began to sniffle rather than sob, he pulled a clean handkerchief out of his back pocket and let her blow her nose in peace.

“…Goddamn, honey…”

“…It’s all so goddamned terrible, Cid…and the worst part? It feels like I’m the only one who cared about those people sometimes. Aerith did, sure, but she was from Five…She didn’t know Seven as well. Barret…was using people, Cloud still doesn’t really care all that much…Yuffie, Vincent, and Red never knew them. But with Jesse, Biggs, and Wedge gone…god…it’s a huge mess.” She whispered, still tucked into his chest, and Cid squeezed her shoulder, dropping a kiss on her hair without a second thought.

“…Sugar, you deserve a sainthood for that hell…an’ I’ll send my top team of engineers back to help your people out first thing tomorrow after they’ve all sobered up, okay?” She sat up straight at that, eyes huge, and Cid gave her a warm smile. “I mean it.”

“…I…are you sure Shin-Ra will let you?” She squeaked, and Cid just grinned, wide and a little devilish…and oh, was that a blush on her cheeks? It was hard to tell in the moonlight, and Cid hadn’t yet gotten the wiring for the porch lights fixed, but they were still close enough that he could feel the warmth, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, she was.

“What Rufus don’t know won’t hurt ‘im. Palmer don’t know shit about my people anyway; he ain’t gonna notice. An’ they’ll wanna help; half are from Midgar, even if it is the upper portion, and droppin’ a plate? Bastards ain’t gonna know what hit ‘em. Besides…” He sighed a little, and took a breath. “…we ain’t gettin’ that rocket skyward anytime soon anyway.”

“…But…it looks so ready…”

“An’ it is, except for fuel; Shin-Ra won’t authorize th’ fuel expense, so we’re grounded. It’s why I have the market an’ the tourism; keeps us fed while we languish here.” She winced at that, and Cid shook his head, voice softer now. “But that ain’t important right now; what is important are yer people, Tifa. An’ you; no one’s been takin’ care of you, have they?” Tifa crumbled at that, and Cid gathered her to his chest again, not caring that his shirt was still damp from the first round of tears, rubbing his hands up and down her back and pressing chaste kisses to her hair. “Oh honey…”

“Cid…no one’s hugged me like this since my dad died…” She sobbed softly, and Cid cussed under his breath, hugging her tighter.

“Cry it out again, sweetheart, we got all night…” These sobs were softer, aching and deep, and Cid swallowed the lump in his throat as Tifa poured out the events that had devastated Nibelheim five years ago, her father’s death, the burning, Sephiroth…Her master leaving her after her wounds had healed, and as she shifted, pulling away a little, he caught a glimpse of the scar that had nearly bissected her torso, peeking up from her padded tank top, white in the moonlight. He let her ease back, let her breathe and wipe away the tears and snot, and when Tifa glanced back up at him, Cid couldn’t help brushing a lock of her hair back over one ear, palm grazing her jaw line…and Tifa leaned into the touch, looking so sad. “Tifa…”

“Cid…will…fuck, this is so stupid, but will you stay the night with me? Please?” Cid paused, his own eyes widening, and she glanced away, wincing…so he gathered her into his arms for a third time, kissing her cheek softly this time, giving her a chance to pull away if she wanted.

“Yes. I will. An’ not…I won’t be a creep, sweetheart. I…goddamn, I gotta be ten years yer senior, I know, but…” She didn’t pull away, snuggling into his chest, and a soft, weak laugh hiccupped out of her, her watery eyes softening.

“Oh, I dunno, I think you’re fine…I’m twenty-one.” He winced, and she stroked his cheek, mimicking his touch earlier. “Cid, you can’t be that much older…” He heaved a heavy sigh.

“…Thirty-two.” She shrugged, snuggling in closer, and he sighed, running a hand over her back again. Tifa purred, leaning into his chest a little more.

“…That’s still not so bad. It’d be one thing if you’d pursued me…”

“I dunno, still feels bad to me…” He muttered, and Tifa gave a soft laugh, nuzzling his cheek.

“And that’s how I know you’re a good man; bad ones don’t care. Trust me…I know bad men. I don’t know a lot of good men, other than Barret and a handful of the regulars that survived…”

“And Cloud?” She paused, mulling that over, and sighed.

“…And Cloud, but Cloud is…complicated. In ways I’m not ready to deal with yet. You…aren’t. Well. You are, but in a way that I can certainly work with.” Cid laughed softly at that, and stroked a hand over her shoulders; that made her melt into his arms, and she sighed happily.

“Kinda wish you didn’t have to leave tomorrow…” He murmured, feeling wistful, and she sighed softly, nuzzling his cheek again.

“I wish I didn’t have to leave either…this place is beautiful, your house is wonderful…and you’re pretty close to perfect…”

“…Well goddamn, girl, you know how ta make a man blush.” She laughed at that, really laughed, and Cid basked in that laughter, pure and real and wholesome…and so fuckin’ beautiful it made his heart clench. …Ah fuck it, worse’ll happen is she’ll punch me off. He drew her into a soft kiss, giving her a chance to get away again if she wanted…and Tifa melted into him all over again, kissing him back so perfectly that she stole his breath away. When they pulled away, Cid touched his forehead to hers, and she relaxed, grounding herself to him.

“…Cid?”

“Yeah, Tifa?”

“…Still okay with staying with me tonight?”

“Damn right I am, hon.”

#FFVII #FFVII Remake #Final Fantasy VII #Tifa Lockhart #Cid Highwind #Tifa/Cid #Cid/Tifa #Vincent Valentine #Cloud Strife #Barret Wallace #Yuffie Kisaragi #Aerith Gainsborough #Red XIII #Cait Sith #playing fast and loose with FFVII Remake canon atm #falling in love

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sephinova · 6 years

Text

Fall Into The Sky

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Summary: Jenova’s purpose in life was to cause suffering and destruction, that’s all she had ever known. But as her fondness for Sephiroth grows stronger with each passing day a new purpose is born.

Prequel To: ‘What Is Love?’

Pairing: Sephiroth/Jenova

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Somewhat incestuous pairing, fluff.

Word Count: 1981

Notes: This could be one of the last fanfictions that I post online because of that horrible EU Article 13 legislation that might fully pass next year unless it miraculously gets rejected and if it passes it’ll be illegal for me to post my fanfics and possibly do any sort of fandom related stuff online... I’ll have no choice but to leave Tumblr, AO3, etc. But on a happier note, I’ve decided that this characterization of Jenova is separate from my main headcanons of her though they do share some things in common. I hope to write a sequel to this fanfic before the end of the year if my brain decides to cooperate, though I’m nervous about writing it as I’ve NEVER written anything like it before. O////O

You can also read this on AO3.

The moon shined brightly in the night sky surrounded by countless twinkling stars illuminating Jenova and the surrounding grassy field in its gentle glow.

It has been too long since I last sailed this vast ocean of stars.

The Calamity stared at the limitless sky walking towards the moon as though it were beckoning her.

Long, long ago she journeyed the cosmos from planet to planet bringing fear, suffering and death to all manner of life that dwelled on them and once she corrupted those planets Lifestream she would use them to travel to the next and repeat the cycle.

She stopped, using her shapeshifting abilities she adjusted her tentacles and disfigured wings so she could comfortably lie down. When they were adapted enough to her liking she lied down on the silky grass.

With nothing obstructing her view she was filled with the sensation she was about to fall into the starry abyss. She grabbed the grass as if to stop herself from falling, how thrilling it would be to fall and leave this planet behind, but...

I want to stay a while longer.

Ever since Sephiroth and herself had returned from the Lifestream her son wanted to postpone their objective of corrupting the planet. At first, Jenova wasn't pleased about the suspension but as time passed, she grew to like it. She got to know Sephiroth better and her fondness for him grew stronger with each passing day. She never would have thought she would become attached to a human infused with her cells but he was different, he was her son and so much more she couldn't put into words, the mere thought of never seeing him again was unbearable. Her chest began to ache.

Why do I feel this way?

''Mother.''

The deep yet gentle tone of Sephiroth's voice that he reserved only for Jenova broke her train of thoughts, her aching replaced by flutterings in her belly. She had become so caught up in her own little world she hadn't picked up on his presence. Footsteps softened by the grass came closer and closer to The Calamity until he came into her sight. She greeted him with a smile.

''It's been nearly six hours since you left, I was starting to worry.'' Sephiroth spoke as he knelt beside his mother.

Six hours... has it been that long?

''My apologies, I had not realised I had been away for that long.'' Jenova apologised.

''It's alright, Mother. As long as you're safe I don't mind.''

''You need not worry, I can take care of myself.''

Sephiroth nodded. ''I know.''

Jenova couldn't help but mentally chuckle to herself, he often worried about her safety considering she was one of the most powerful entities on the planet more than capable of defending herself and yet she had done the same for him before now. But why would she have to? He was strong enough to take care of himself.

Illogical.

The One-Winged Angel sat down beside Jenova. ''Magnificent. I can see why you enjoy star-gazing so much.'' Sephiroth said in awe.

''Indeed. I travelled among these stars for aeons.'' Jenova agreed.

''And someday you will again, with me by your side.''

For several minutes they watched the stars, in a blink of an eye, a shooting star flew across the night sky. Jenova sensed a noticeable change in Sephiroth's mood.

Negativity.

''I'm sorry, Mother... I have failed you...''

The Calamity narrowed her eyes at his words.

Failed?

''...If it weren't for my failings we would be on our way to a new planet.'' Sephiroth admitted lowering his head and clenching his fists. If he was nothing more than a puppet she would have been disappointed and disposed of him of his repeated incompetence without a second thought, but strangely, she wasn't displeased with him.

''Do not be hard on yourself, Sephiroth, for I have too, failed.'' Jenova confessed sitting upright.

Surprised by her confession he turned his head in her direction.

''I failed when I first arrived on this planet and many other times before. What matters is that we do not surrender to defeat and eventually we will succeed.''

Admitting her failures and expressing genuine encouragement? Never had The Calamity done such a thing until now. She was once too proud to admit her defeats to anyone and the only times she showed encouragement was to her puppets to carry out her will as a means to manipulate them.

''You're not displeased with me?''

''No.'' She answered shaking her head.

Sephiroth sighed in relief, a smile tugging at his lips, unclenching his fists. ''You're too kind to me, Mother.''

Jenova smiled, pleased to have eased her son's negativity. She gazed down at the grass where Sephiroth's bare hand rested, it wasn't often she saw his hands gloveless. Curious, she touched the back of his hand. His skin was smooth and warm to the touch, she could feel the pleasant resonance of his cells against her hand calling out to her. He presented his palm to her, she caressed it, his hand was large and fingers long and slender.

Why is this so pleasant?

The One-Winged Angel put his hand over her's, softly stroking her hand in return. They continued caressing each other until they were palm to palm, fingers entwining. Their eyes met, Sephiroth shifted closer to Jenova, her heart began to race.

Why does he have this effect on me?

Unsure of what to do Jenova turned her head away to the heavens.

''Am I making you feel uncomfortable?'' Sephiroth asked concern evident in his voice.

''No. Being with you like this feels very good, I just do not know what to do.'' Returning her gaze to him.

''We can continue star-gazing if that's what you want?'' Sephiroth suggested.

''Yes, I would like that.'' Jenova agreed nodding slightly.

An idea came to mind at the mention of one of her favourite pastimes she remembered that thrilling sensation before her son arrived.

''Lie down.'' The Calamity softly instructed.

Still holding his mother's hand Sephiroth did as he was told and she did the same beside him.

''Keep your eyes to the sky and do not look away. Do you experience the sensation as though you are about to fall?''

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes in concentration. ''I can't say that I do.''

''Try to imagine that you can and listen to my voice. With your free hand hold onto the grass...''

They both grasped a tuft of grass.

''...Gravity has reversed and all that is keeping us from falling is holding onto the grass, if we let go we can leave this planet behind and start anew, we will be free to go wherever we please, explore the countless stars and planets...''

Jenova glanced at Sephiroth, his expression peaceful. It pleased her that he liked her little fantasy.

''...Sephiroth, will you fall into the sky with me?''

''Yes, Mother, let's leave this world behind.''

''Then let go.''

Letting go of the grass Jenova could almost feel herself being pulled into the sky, she felt her son squeezing her hand slightly as though to keep her from separating away from him, she squeezed his hand in return.

Falling.

''We are falling faster and faster...''

Jenova couldn't help but grin at the quiet laugh that escaped Sephiroth.

''...We have broken through the planet's atmosphere, we are free.'' She announced a soft giggle escaping her.

Abruptly, Sephiroth stood up, his wing burst from his back, black feathers scattering into the air.

''Mother, let's fall into the sky!'' The One-Winged Angel exclaimed offering his hand to her.

Jenova gladly took his hand helping her up on her feet. She readjusted her wings in preparation to take flight.

''Yes, let's.'' And with that, they ascended.

They soared higher and higher into the sparkling heavens, the cool wind howled in their ears and rushed through their long silver manes. Though it wasn't the same as falling The Calamity appreciated her son's thoughtfulness and it certainly was far more thrilling than laying on the ground daydreaming.

We should stop within the next ten seconds She heard him say telepathically. As much as she wanted to keep going she knew they couldn't, counting down the seconds she savoured what little time they had left.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

They came to a sudden halt in midair. Jenova took in her surroundings. Her eyes roamed the world below covered in darkness except for the sea shimmering with the moon's distorted reflection and a far-off town's faint glowing lights made it almost feel as though they were in outer space.

Her gaze locked on Sephiroth who was admiring the glorious view, he radiated positivity that she had never seen or felt from him before, it delighted her knowing that she was the one responsible for his elation and he too was the cause of her's.

Is this what they call happiness?

No one or anything made The Calamity feel the way he did, her feelings incredibly powerful they consumed her and unrecognisable they were alien. As far back as she could remember the only purpose she had in life was to infect and destroy, as long she possessed the power to do so and was able to her life was complete or so she thought. But Sephiroth gave her a new kind of fulfilment and purpose to her life, she wanted to protect him and make him smile, a far cry from her original purpose.

Sephiroth's Mako slitted eyes met Jenova's pink. Captivated by his warm gaze, she moved closer to him until she almost closed the gap between them. She settled her hands on his broad shoulders not once tearing her gaze away from him. The One-Winged Angel brought his hand to her face, his fingers affectionately stroking her cheek. Ever so slowly he leaned his head towards her's his eyes half-lidded, she closed her eyes in waiting. His warm and soft lips met her's in the gentlest of kisses.

Jenova's blood instantly rushed to her face, her heart pounding in her breast and her stomach fluttering uncontrollably so delightful these sensations were she felt as though she was about to burst. How was it possible for such a simple act of physical contact to give such strong reactions?

How wonderful.

Sephiroth broke away from the kiss, Jenova reopened her eyes. His face flushing red from shame.

''Mother... I-I-'' He stuttered, realising what he had done.

Just as The One-Winged Angel was about to pull away from his mother she cupped his face with her hands and smiled at him, her eyes filled with reassurance and affection. Relieved, he smiled back, all traces of shame vanished. She tenderly kissed him in return, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and her tentacles around his waist. Sephiroth melted into the kiss, embracing her the gap between them finally closed. Gradually they descended back down to the Planet.

Jenova couldn't comprehend why she was drawn to him, fond of him and longed to hold and kiss him, these feelings and actions were illogical and inconvenient to her original purpose, obstacles that needed to be overcome... but she didn't want to overcome them, she didn't want these wonderful feelings to disappear and revert back to before she met her dear son.

Breaking away from their kiss, The Calamity rested her head on Sephiroth's shoulder.

''I'm sorry that I suspended corrupting the planet, I promise that someday we will sail the cosmos to a new planet and start anew but I need some time until then. I hope you understand, Mother.'' Sephiroth promised.

Jenova thought his reasoning for why he delayed their goal to be nonsensical, however, she no longer minded.

''There is no need to rush, we have all the time in the world...''

...because all I desire is just to be with you.

#jenova #Sephiroth #sephinova #sephiroth/jenova #jenova/sephiroth #Final Fantasy #final fantasy vii #Final Fantasy 7 #ff #FFVII #ff7 #fanfiction #fanfic #my fanfiction #my fanfic

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