#I Never do that shit lolll

[luvbinnies]

I slid into a someones DMS BROOO AM I OKAYYY

#I Never do that shit lolll #my ex talking stage actually encouraged me to do soooo #the way the person I dm was my old physics tutor last sem and cuz he failed Chem last sem he’s in my Chem now and we helping each other out #lol this gotta be a fanfic or smth #nothing cool happened tho just Chem #nyx if you see this Chem is saurrrr cool the coolest 😎

[pissfaggit]

Okay I'm ready now

#its not perfect but im done workinf on it #idk. is this good? idk it was supposed to be funny but idk #and goes without saying ill have to wait a few years until im ready to listen to this song again lolll #i am having so much fun making these though. really this is the dream ive wanted to make amvs since i was like 12 but i never had the means #well actually i made one when i was like 13 but that's it. back when you could download shit off youtube for free #i downloaded so many clips of jean havoc onto my dads laptop lol. i wonder if he ever found them. it was his work laptop too tehee #farscape #farscape john #john crichton #farscape scorpius #johnscorpy? jorpy? do they even have an official name loll #suckers and fuckers? #amv #sir i protest i am not a merry man

[deathtodickens]

I am finally back in a sketching mood and getting my left-arm muscle-memory used to using my Cintiq and drawing in Photoshop. Am also still (still) working on the last bits of Ages because next year it will be TEN YEARS since I started that fic. And I intend to conclude it (part one, anyway) by (preferably before) 2024.

#bering and wells #i really need to get back into my doodle a week mood but #if there is one thing i have learned it is to not push myself beyond what i have the energy to do #hence why i haven't forced myself to draw in these past couple of months #my kitchen is still under construction lolll and i have been working a shit ton of overtime because COVID is still very much a thing #anywho my ideas are always more grand than my energy and one day they are going to align and All The Things ™ will be done #but that day is not today #animation class is going okay but it is exactly as burdensome as i thought it would be #oh have i not mentioned that i am turning 40 this year because that is also a thing #never mind that i am now the parent of a middle schooler #and a kindergartener lolll #goodnight

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

surprise, bet you weren't expecting THIS

ok but real this is technically just a test. wasn't actually aiming to really make this lmao, but things lined up and i realized this sounded good actually so i was "hmm maybe i should post that." idk if i'll make a video for this so for now just take the audio ig.

VSQx by Hatsune Dan, distributed by Yumeko. Some minor tuning edits by me. Mixing also by me. Original song by wowaka.

#my audio lol #vocaloid #vocaloid cover #utau #utauloid #utauloid cover #utau cover #openutau #nurse robot type t #two faced lovers #wowaka #this is her sherry vb specifically; i wanna do smthn else w/ it but i was testing how she sounded like w/ files i already had #and this was one of the only ones where she actually sounded good 😭😭 maybe the different resamplers and wavtools are a piece of the puzzle #but still i'd need to mess around w/ her maybe. i got her cause i wanna do a specific thing w/ her but we'll see if i ever get there lol #i feel bad ugh i didnt actually do that that much here :'| feels like cheating. but if i keep trying maybe i'll get better some day #i had this vsqx just sitting in my files for a while lol... i have a lot of shit in there honestly that i plan to do stuff w/ but havent #i was actually intending to make a cover of this w/ iku b/c ily her (a slowed version tho b/c the song's sadder slowed imo) #we'll see if that happens tho lolll... rip to all the covers that never actually happen. ugh i dont really like any of my past covers :') #im stubborn so maybe ill figure it out SOMEDAY. but bruh how is it im better at making them swear at each other than like. sing #CAUSE YKNOW SINGING IS THEIR INTENDED PURPOSE. ugh. vsynths got me actin crazy #sorry if the mixing's kinda bad i need to read up on how to do better mixing... tried smthn a lil different here and i think it sounds okay #but who knows. idk

[stealingpotatoes]

You've read thrawn?!?! Finally I found someone who knows thrawn!!

Eli is precious. And he has such an important Job at the springhawk.

I am so confused about Thrawn being half canon and half legends. Everytime I try to understand it I get confused.

Krennik is so annoying. I hoped he would get stuck with his cape in an automatic door.

Have a good weekend!

yes!!! reading the new thrawn trilogy actually what got me back into star wars properly (so really u can thank my Thrawn-obsessed friend Laura for all my star wars comics nowadays loll)

eli is SO GOOD eli stan protection squad he's never done anything wrong in his life i love him sm and need to draw him more!!! also yes youre so right krennic belongs in an automatic door that would solve a lot of people's issues <3 eli can and should take a selfie with krennic stuck in the door

#thrawn is the chosen one bringing balance to the force between the legends side and the canon side 🙏 #i havent read ascendancy bc i started it and thought 'okay but do i care. eli isnt even here' #nor is bestie un'hee or vah'nya!! i love thrawn but the springhawk besties r my faves in the trilogy lolll #krennic's so funny bc the more star wars media u consume with him in it the more u realise literally nobody likes him #like. vader thrawn tarkin. nobody likes this absolute melt #thanks for the ask! #this is semi unrelated but to this day i will never be over thrawn 2 being set on batuu home of the WORST sims 4 pack #so yk lowkey impressive that shit managed to get me back into sw despite me having flashbacks everytime i read the planet name

[xxshadowus3rxx]

okay but was it really necessary for probe to stroke adu du's cheek as he thanked him before he died. was that necessary or does someone on the animation team want me dead

#what is this dead wife beat type shit #I'm normal btw #was rewatching the scene for fic purposes and ngl I was never able to take it too seriously #but that part makes me want to bite something #wondering if it's something probe always wanted to do but it was only in that moment that he knew adu du would allow it #*deranged and exploding* #don't get me started on the dialogue #idc if it's cheesy or whatever it still makes me want to Cry #cube fortress #dinoposting #adu du boboiboy #probe boboiboy #man. I actually can't stop drawing them lolll #but my art kind of sucks so I'd rather not post that stuff. it's okay there are so many fics in the oven #the 5 other enjoyers of them will feast once the time comes #I should probably think of a ship name for them in the meantime #but idk #sorry for the ramble #this is a certified 4am post moment

[blizzardz]

Can we not fucking give horrific trauma to characters if you're not going to take it seriously jesus fucking christ

#'the story is reaaalllyyy screwed up' 'i think they're the most messed up of all my OCs :3' #do you fucking hear yourself jfc #how are you so incapable of realizing that this might be real shit that happens to people. these are not Bonus Edgy Points #if you're gonna write about that shit do it with some fucking sensibility. #the very least you could do is explore how that affects the damn character. write it with some fucking respect to real people. TRY. #that shit isn't your little blue ribbon for LOOK AT ME ALL MY STORIES AND OCS ARE SOOOO DARK AND EDGY LOLLL #do you honestly wear that with pride. are you fucking real #and you tell ME about that? you say that to my fucking face? name the character after me why don't you. #this post is targeted but they will never read it. #vent

[boysnberriespie]

*Gripping my thighs* I’m not a mean person I’m not a mean person I’m not a mean person

#love when people make YouTube videos about shit they didn’t do the bare minimum of research on #just turned on the camera and said ‘hey I feel like this so I’m right’ yeah ok #I care about it more when it’s a YouTube video because I’m like?? #you wrote a script? you edited this? you posted this full hour long video #to go on in the comments and be like ‘I’ve never heard of that’ THAT is the foundation of this conversation #oh just shut up #I LOVE YouTube’s dislike button #I rarely use it but it’s my best friend when I feel that something has pissed me off #like TikTok (when I used the app) adding the dislike button #for comments #was my placebo medicine for stupid ass comments lolll

[bo0zey]

boys be mad asl when i don’t giggle n tehe n show cute emotions like bitch my wounded inner child just got done drunk sniveling begging for daddy not to yell n hate her while her intoxicated narcissistic father screamed n gaslit her until she dissociated to euthymic plane 🙄🙄🙄

#‘trauma dumping’ eat my shorts loser assholss #so funny he said if my narcissistic sociopathic insane brother killed himself then it’s ‘goodbye to the rest of y’all too’ #like ohhhhh so ur eldest daughter n youngest son don’t mean jack fuckjn shit to u right??? lmfao lolll #yeah just go rot with that selfish egotistic psycho while ur 15yr old son who lost his mom at 7yrs old #i want to strangle my fuckjgnf dad sometimes he’s so cruel n said so many mean things to me #he always has to defend my middle brother ‘he’s depressed what if he kms’ like??? #my middle brother literally manipulates tf out of my dumbass emotionally unintelligent father he’s tearing this family apart #meanwhile i never planned on seeing 18 nor living past 22 n now i have to go exist n find a job when i never thought i’d have to do this sh #shit ever b. i was supposed to #be dead 4 years ago lololllll #god forbid i tell him that or my plan to kms at 27 lollll #so worried abt a fucking LOST SOCIOPATH SEFISH NARCISSITIC CAUSE ur gonna make me and my baby brother suffer?? as orphans ?? #my dad n i used to get breakfast every sunday in middle school n talk abt life n drive around after n those days meant the world to me #i never realized how much i missed them. how much i looked forward to him saying he’d call me while i’m away at college #but my middle brother egosticizl fuck is like ‘lolyh i just nod n say what dad wants me to hear’ when my dad is trying so hard to save him f #my dad admitted to neglecting my lil bro lol it makes me so fkcing angry he doesn’t give af abt us #says ‘im worth more im the ground than i am alive’ n my inner teen bursts into tears bc she experienced that already #yeah moms life insurance money was so fun!! until it ran out bc of college n impulsive manic spending n the materialistic thrill never laste #i want to hate him but i can’t even deny i love him so much he hurts me and everyone i love and disappoints us all n we still care for him #he’s letting my brother fuckjgn kill him literlaly my dad is physically sick bc of my sociopath narcissistic bros drama #he blames me for not going to him n telling him abt my ‘’mental issues’ as if i didn’t have to grow up n become mom the day after my 16th #i am my mothers child he didn’t know anything abt our childhoods until she died and he had to step up n parent us himself #he doesn’t know what it means to be a parent he shouldn’t be a parent but oh fuckjgn well oh my god WE ARE YOUR KIDSMWE NEED YOU WH #WHY CANT YOU SHOW US YOU CARE WHEN WE ALL HAD TO LEARN ALL WE HAVE IS OURSELVES #i am so angry he tried to throw me under the bus abt not having a job as a new grad nurse instead of my brother for dropping out everything #ur son wants to drop his ap classes bc he procrastinated n doesn’t wNna do the work so now he’s manipulating u to let him quit #i am just not exiting the identity crisis coming to terms w the fact that i’m 22yrs old n alive n need to start living n working #tonight was a shitshow but the ending calmed down but i couldn’t stop crying sniveling whimpering when dad yelled #yelled n accused n attacked me n chose to defend my middle bro over me like..he’s trying to kill u n i freaked out bc stepmom said u cut #ramblings

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#and lolll again and again i just reach this conclusion that they were right. and i just think back to my grandmothers words and its like. #yea. shes fucking right #ive gotten to 22 and done fucking nothing with my life. nevermind fucking excelling nevermind doing the basic shit of internships and #Fucking Opportunities and Plans after college. Never fucking mind that!!!! i!!! have barely fucking managed to get through this fucking #university god Fucking damn it. which is already below the level of whatver the fuck school i was supoosed to get into #i cant even manage to fucking do this. i cant even manage to use any of the other somewhat decent #talents i have to make something or sell something or go in some direction #shes right. the track record shows i have done nothing. the reality is im far behind where i should have been. and i am. #indeed. fucking doomed

[bewby]

don't youjust love talking about something you enjoy and your mom just shits on you and brings up everything fucking negative about it. like wow guess i'll never tell you anything ever again

#she always acts this way or doesn't care so i never showed her any of my interests or talk to her about any of tjem because she never cares #JXJXJYKFKF i wish i had parents who i could have a good relationship with. still at this age 🤣 no just kidding i lost hope years ago #and despite us having no emotional connection it still hurts to know i never had them there for me. i could cry day and night and they #never sat down and were like. what can i do to cater to my childs needs what can i do to talk to my avoidant anxious child. LMFAOOOOO #instead.' nothing ever happened and then they act shocked when i say i feel shit every single day JFBDNYKYKKYK i can't. you guys 🤣🤣🫶🏻 LOLLL #i can't . i love it hereeeee i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣👍🏻

[nightfallsystem]

mhh random but nobody would notice if i just stopped drawing fanart completely huh..

#tw vent #tw self harm #nmhh wanna stop drawing forever and let the ACTUAL good artists draw in my place #my fault for not studying art enoughh i thought that the threat of harm would get me drawing ok so i dont have to hurt myself but yknow #never will be good enough. never gonna be good enough for anyone. and ill never be good enough for myself #this is what i deserve #for wanting attention the worst thing that could happen to me is trying so hard but not getting it despite working for it #oh how many times ive hit myself and banged my head against the wall and cut myself for the art i post.. #ill do it all again.. #lolll if i get a little too mad and hit my head a little too hard do u think bad things will happen.. #this is what i deserve im glad im hurting #i hope shes right. i hope those were signs of a heart attack #dying without getting the chance to make it be dramatic will be worse #anyway yea #i think i genuinely deserve to die or be put thru mental / physical harm for making bad art LMAO #genuinely. genuinely think that. #my art wont ever be good.. it wil actually never fuckign be good. #i hope i die. i m seirous i hope i die. #so what if my styles “unique” it doesnt mean SHIT if it doesnt give me attention like i need #drawing for fun is impossible. i just make it an excuse to self harm. i deserve to suffer in every way possible #lolll all this just cuz im bad at art?

[peachinspiration]

bro like dude

#ever feel so dissociative that ur like #idk like #it’s the worst thing ever when you have a problem but feel like you can never bring it up #actually dying rn like I need a solution but I’m so out of hope and faith rn #praying it actually resolves but my god man #I don’t even feel like the same person living in the same reality anymore #like oh my godddd my ass wants to die so badly #I know deep in myself that things will resolve and get back to normal but at the same time I feel like it’s never gotten this bad #but I still have faith I just don’t know how it’ll play out #worse case scenario nothing happens at all and I just explode under pressure after a few weeks #manifesting it doesn’t come to that #I just wanna die rn man #also it infuriates me so bad how much my mind just cannot will not cooperate with me rn #I don’t even know how to exist amongst ppl anymore it’s THAT bad #I mean I’m sure I’ve gone through emotional hell before and each time I’ve pulled out but god I just feel so immensely betrayed and idk what #to do about it #even worse it’s like sorrys have been given blah blah but the feeling just won’t leave me and it’s making me wanna rip my hair out #I know it’s bad to keep venting about it cuz I already vented a lot to myself for hours #but god man I just wanna break my head open lol #praying to god my ass doesn’t snap under the pressure and do dumb shit lolll #I’m kinda just floating through the day and everything feels Grey and I’m just staring at fictional stuff as a sort of escape just speeding #through multiple different things and hiding my emotions from literally everyone cuz I have zero clue on what to do about any of it #and I’m terrified of even doing that cuz I fear bad things will happen haha magical ocd things #things will definitely improve from this things will definitely get solved and not in a way that’ll leave me traumatized I know this for sur #I feel insanely alone right now

[zeldasnotes]

𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 ☠️

• Lilith sextile MC makes someone an expert at using whoredom, slutness and rumors to their benefit while people with the square or opposition seem to suffer bc of it. Like dont even try to leak a private picture of a Lilith Sextile MC person bc they will probably just put it as their profile pic or something.

• Cancer Lilith/Lilith 4th house ppl can be fascinated with the ”family matriarch” position. A common theme there is that they were mistreated by a dominant motherfigure and then they grew up to become like that themselves.

• Venus aspecting Lilith especially the hard aspects can make someone compared to their partners ex or they might be the ex people compare with the new girl.

• @punksocks mentioned in her post how Lilith in Sagittarius might make someone attracted to someone from a religious background thats considered taboo to them. And Ive seen this so much. I know a muslim man from Albania and every woman hes been attracted to was a christian from Serbia. His whole life his parents have been talking shit about Serbia and what happened in the war they fled from. He ended up converting to christianity and married a serbian woman.

Lilith trine/sextile/conjunct Mercury seems to give a brilliant mind.

• Lilith can shows something you learned the power of and also the darkness off early in life:

Lilith in Libra learned early the power of beauty & charm. The power of being liked. But also the darkness of relationships and hidden undercurrents between people.

Lilith in Scorpio learned about sex early and how important it is to never be in a situation where you are powerless.

Lilith in Cancer learned the power of women early. Usually there was a mother or stepmother who ruled the family with an iron fist & were the spider in a huge web of family drama.

Lilith in Aries learned the power of making others afraid of you early. They learned early what can happen if people see you as a pussy.

Lilith in Virgo & Pisces learned the power of innocence early. Being a wolf in sheep clothing. Being seen as ”pure” & good.

• I remember seeing the video where Blueface tells Jaidyn ”get her!” to get Jaidyn to fight someone for him (extremely unattractive of both of them but anyways) and It reminded me of Lilith conjunct Mars synastry. I looked up their charts and ofc Blueface Lilith conjunct Jaidyns Mars. Because I had this synastry with a guy I knew when I was like 13 and I remember telling him those exact words when a guy bothered me bc I knew he would get him lolll. I call this synastry aspect ”the bodyguard placement”.

• Blueface is such a Leo Lilith. His need to be the lion king and to be praised is strong as we can see on his reality show. ”In the series, a group of women were invited to live in Blueface's home for a month and attempt to compete for his affection. ”

• The ”The girl he told you not to worry about” sitaution just screams Lilith Synastry. And im not saying that men like the woman he talks shit on. Liking is NOT the same as obsession and desire. Its just that some ppl talk shit about the person they couldnt get while being with their 2nd option. And Adam couldnt be with Lilith because she refused to lay under him so he was with Eve. This is why people very often have Lilith synastry with ”the person they told you not to worry about”.

• A mans Lilith conjunct a womans Venus or Moon is a synastry aspect Ive seen in like 99% of cases where the man is married and the woman is like a thousand years younger than him. And most times the whole relationship revolved around how forbidden it was.

• Lilith in Gemini/3rd house are some scary mf when it comes to turning others against someone. Not saying ppl with this placement will do that but IF they do they know what to say. My sister have this placement and there are still people who refuse to talk to me after the beef we had in 2018 bc she told them the freakiest stuff about me.

• Lilith 3rd house kids might say stuff that the adults dont like. Might listen to conversations between adults when they are supposed to be asleep. Calling people out or asking uncomfortable questions.

• If you have Lilith in the 1st or 10th house in the Fama Persona Chart you might be the ”neighbourhood hoe”. Or known to be rebellious & bitchy.

• Lilith 2nd house makes someone constantly look for worth either in others or in themselves. ”Worth” is a huge theme here. They might add to their partners worth in the eyes of society by having more money than them, being more beautiful, famous etc or they will be the one looking for a partner with these things who will give them more ”worth” which is why this placement is so common in a lot of golddiggers, trophywifes, sugardaddies, sugarbabies, escorts etc.

• People with Lilith in the 9th house or Lilith in Sagittarius seem to often either have a look that fits the standard of another cultural background than their own or desire the look of another background. Ive seen this in the chart of people who have been doing asian fishing, black fishing, cultural appropriation. (And no not everyone with this placement ofc. Im just saying in the charts of ppl who were called out for doing these things I saw this placement pop up a lot.)

• Lilith 11th house people seem to always find eachother. Same with people with Lilith in the 1st house.

• Lilith Square Pluto might act out of character when they are not in control. They might force things to go their way and could be scared of situations where they dont have the upper hand.

• Lilith 1st house might like to shock people with their style or behaviour. For example Marilyn Manson.

• Lilith aspecting Sun tends to create an extremely strong personality and willpower.

• Lilith 11th house synastry can create issues with eachothers friends. Everytime I had this with a guy it was always one of his friends strongly disliking me and trying to get him to not be with me or vice versa.

• Lilith 10th house synastry can lead to a lot of powerstruggles. One of them might have a bad influence on the others reputation or be jealous/fascinated by the others public image.

© 2023 Zeldas Notes

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #lilith #lilith aspects #lilith conjunct sun #lilith 1st house #lilith conjunct ascendant