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peanutxparker · 4 years

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A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not

Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)

“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”

“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”

“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”

“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”

“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”

“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”

“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”

“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”

“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”

“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”

People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)

“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”

“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”

“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”

“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”

“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”

“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”

“No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”

“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”

“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”

“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”

“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”

“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”

“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”

“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”

“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”

“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”

Can’t Maintain (2009)

“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”

“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”

“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”

“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”

“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”

“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”

“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”

“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”

“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”

“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”

“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”

“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”

“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”

“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”

“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”

Knife Man (2011)

“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”

“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”

“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”

“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”

“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”

“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”

“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”

“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”

“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””

“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”

“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”

“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”

“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”

“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”

“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”

“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”

Rompilation (2012)

“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”

“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”

“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”

“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”

“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”

“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”

“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”

“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”

“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”

“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”

Christmas Island (2014)

“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”

“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”

“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”

“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”

“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”

“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”

“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”

The Bible 2 (2016)

“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”

“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”

“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”

“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”

“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”

“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”

“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”

“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”

“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”

“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”

Good Luck Everybody (2019)

“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”

“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”

“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”

“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”

“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”

“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”

“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”

“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”

“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”

“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”

“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”

“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”

“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”

“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”

“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”

#ajj band #ajj #andrew jackson jihad

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heyimtavia · 4 years

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THE POST FINALE HENRY DANGER OPINIONS TAG:

Hey party people! Sorry I’ve been a bit out of the loop. Due to what’s going on in the world, adulting sorta got in the way and I have to DVR the final episode. No one tagged me, but I just wanted to add my two cents since this is officially the end and this is a really cute tag.

1. Who was your overall favorite member of Team Danger and why?

Charlotte hands down. She was brilliant, sassy and just a great friend to Henry no matter what. She’s one of the main reasons why I decided to tune into the show. I saw a lot of myself in her. I was once that little smart black girl that no one listened too. But it’s okay though, but that GLOW UP is real! I know from experience lol.

2. Who was your favorite non-team danger character and why?

Y'all know I love Fran the security guard. She should’ve gotten more air time. I just think she’s hilarious! I’d loved to see her try to wrestle a dolphin any day!

3. Who was your favorite villain and why?

Dr. Minyak & Nurse Cohort. I just gotta respect his hustle. Other than Rex and Rick Twitler, I feel like he’s the only everyday villain who always came close to defeating Captain Man & Kid Danger. He always had unique plans; from capturing and brain-altering Charlotte to taking Piper and the man fan hostage, he was always creative. Plus I love his little temper tantrums he sometimes throws.

4. What were your top five favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

1) All time Fav would go to The Great Cactus Con. From the dopeyness of how everyone can do a backflip instead of Ray. How Charlotte gets to show off her fashion design skills. How Piper unofficially works with Team Danger. Plus I love the cute romantic bit between Jasper and Patina. 2) Rumblr- That whole episode was just comedy gold for me. They should’ve brought Kyle back for the finale and had him show up at kid danger’s funeral 3) I dream of Danger - Its Char’s episode. I like how it alluded to Charlotte’s dream might come true but it doesn’t. However, I don’t like how they just moved on like the episode never happened even when Jasper thinks that char likes him. 4) Flabber Gassed- I love that char got to show off her fighting skills and how happy Jasper was to be a superhero. 5) Holey Moley- I straight up die for laughter every time I see that episode. I love how Henry kept saying, “oh look, a downside.” I feel like that episode would have been a sketch on All That or the Amanda Show. It just felt like good ole Nickelodeon comedy.

5. What were your top five least favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

1) Henry’s Birthday- Call me a diva, but if anyone treated me like that on my birthday, the party is OVER! 2) Captain Makini (I think that's what it’s called). Sorry, I'm not really a fan of Frankie Grande and though he was great for the musical, I really don’t think he needed a second episode. 3) Meet Cute Crush- I’m sorry, anything involving Piper is just physical and emotionally draining. All that girl does is yell. Thank u, next. 4) Sick & Wired- Because I got sick and tired of Ray’s shenanigans. 5) JAM Session- Now Piper isn’t my favorite character, but how that girl was manipulated all over a bet was just stupid and disrespectful.

6. What was your favorite running gag and why?

1) Fran’s line, “There’s only one in the whole world, and we got it!” Swellview must be a fun, mysterious place that always gets amazing things lol. 2) When everyone says “Click” before hanging up their phone. I find it funny because I’m pretty sure the kids had never owned a flip phone in their lives.

7. What was your favorite one-off throw away gag and why?

When shwoz referenced his song from the musical when he said, “Science, science, science, I’ve said this already.” I think he said this in Theranos boot. And also the grammar fights and how grammar rules don’t apply to Charlotte lol.

8. What episode, which character and which duo made you laugh the most?

I think Holey Moley & Rumblr both made me laugh the most. Those were great episodes. Jasper would have to be the funniest. That boy says the darndest things lol. Hensper. Because of how Henry loved Jasper’s mustache and wanted to get one too. And when Jasper and Henry were both “Dude. Bro. Dude. Bro. DUDE!” Over the Patina situation and Charlotte had to break them up.

9. What episode, which character and which duo made you the most emotional?

I think it was Second episode of the finale episodes, when Henry was freaking out at the end because he was alone and Rex had sent Ray A Million and one years into the past. The fact that he literally had to think like all of his friends because obviously that’s what he was used to, everyone being there to help figure out a plan and keep swellview safe. And the fact that for that moment he was kid danger and all alone was really scary for him.

10. How would you rank each season from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst?

I would rank season 5 as 1. It overall had great episodes and delved into different genres and fun tv and movie tropes. It made it a joy to watch, though some episodes leading towards the end didn’t quite catch me. Season 4 would be like a high 4 but not exactly a 5. Season 3 was sorta Meh to me. So maybe a #. Season 2 would be a 4 and season 1 would be like a 4 because it was a the beginning to a great show and was still working out the kinks a bit.

11. Who was your favorite duo in the show (romantic or non-romantic)?

Chenry 100%. The friendship that those two have is great! Now I must say, I hate that Nick was still posting about them on their youtube page for clout knowing that it wasn’t gonna happen. I felt like they did that just so people would watch the final episodes. I was gonna watch regardless, but really Nick? Really?

12. What was your favorite Henry and Ray moment/episode?

The bro song! Plus I love that it kept getting referenced after the musical as well.

13. What was your favorite Chenry moment/episode?

When Char was controlling Henry in flabber gassed, she made him jump up and down while clapping! I love that even shwoz joined in too lol. And when Henry was concerned about her after she ate bad meat from the auto snacker.

14. What was your favorite Hensper moment/episode?

The mustache scene from Grand Theft Otto, “dude if I had one, I’d be Man Danger!”

15. What was your favorite Chensper moment/episode?

This also kinda includes Ray but when they were all stealing Joss Ross’s gift from her birthday party and they were just casually leaving. And how Jasper kept saying, “It’s not stealing if it’s from a criminal.” Plus I like the episode when Hen and Char have to pretend to date just to see if Jasper would keep their secret. The boy poured a whole bowl of pees down his shirt lmaoooo!!

16. If you could go back and change one element of the show, what would it be?

Have Ray grow up and stop fawning over Henry’s mom. It was just plain creepy! Oh and put some respect on my girl Charlotte’s name.

17. If you could say one thing to each main character in the pilot, what would it be?

Life isn’t always about one day getting a statue, (I’m looking at YOU Captain Man). Crime-fighting is fun and being a sidekick could literally every kid’s dream. But don’t forget to be a kid. Hangout with your friends, go to school, go on dates. Do the whole growing up thing. But at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you.

18. If you could say one thing to each main character in the finale, what would it be?

Thank you for sharing your lives with me and I am so so sooo proud of you all!

19. Were you satisfied with the finale? What part was your favorite and what part was your least favorite?

Honestly, I think it was okay for what it was. My fav part was when Jasper literally had to carry Char out of the mancave because she refused to leave Henry behind. I love that they decided to stick together. They did leave a lot of storylines open. I thought Joss Moss would be revealed as the real Mob boss. I thought Rick Twitler would regain his memory. Where the heck is Gooch? Caitlin? Chenry (for obvious reasons). I'm just spitballing here. Was it good? Yes. could it have been better? Hell yes.

20. What would your ideal Henry danger spin off look like?

Charlotte and Henry have powers and Jasper can fight! Dystopia. That was the spin-off that I wanted! I don’t really care about the new kids as much. They’re college-aged too? Just imagine the shenanigans they would get into! But we need to kick the Charlotte hating writer off the staff though. Can The CW pick this show up?

21. Where do you personally see the characters 10 years from now? What are they doing, who are they with, where are they in their lives - what do you think happened to them? Most importantly, are they happy?

I honestly haven’t thought about it. But I believe no matter what they do or where they may end up, they will be happy. They’ll probably always be a team.

22. What was your favorite part of the show and why did it initially draw you in?

It became an escape from my normal adult life. (I’m saying like I’m old. I’m only 23.) I randomly flipped it on one day, I can't remember what episode it was, but from then on, I was hooked. I used to watch it a while back, but I fell off, but at that moment on time, it was easy for me to fall right back into it.

23. What was your favourite part of the fandom and why did it initially draw you in?

The friends I’ve made, the people have met! They are the best out of all the fandoms I’m a part of. I’ve been on tumblr for years and never had I have a group of people be so nice, supportive and just incorporate me into things. I love you guys so much!

24. Describe your overall emotions/feelings regarding the show being over and the show in general, looking back on it as a whole, with one quote from the show.

It’s a bittersweet feeling. I hate to see it go. But all good things must come to an end. But I guess there’s nothing better to say than, “Feels Good.”

25. If you were able to add one scene in the finale, what would you add?

I don’t know honestly. Maybe we could have seen him reunite with his friends and family. Especially Charlotte and Jasper, Afterall, they probably thought that their best friend was dead for all they knew.

26. Favorite outfit/hair style?

Charlotte’s Date outfit with Jack Swagger. Sis was rockin that romper. Also when Jasper and Charlotte were helper bunnies! Those outfits were hilarious and cute.

27.Least favorite character?

I'm sorry but Piper. She was worse than the whole annoying little sister trope. I swear all ash did was yell through most of the seasons and then they gave this chick a driver’s license, I mean what?? Plus i think her reaction to finding out Henry was kid danger was better in Broken Armed and Dangerous, than in twisted sister.

28. What is question you would like to ask the writers/ producers?

Im tagging @adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel

#henry danger #hd spoliers #hd tag game #hd

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diveronarpg · 4 years

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Congratulations, REY! You’ve been accepted for the role of LAMPRIUS. Admin Julie: when I was writing Lucien there was a part of me desperate to see how his desire to revenge could culminate in a greater way, and Rey, you nailed it to a T. Reading this application word-for-word, piece-by-piece, really showed me just how much you understand Lucien and who he is in the ways that matter. From his profession, to his general attitude towards life, to how he uses his own name as a mask and the lengths he’ll go to ensure that mask stays in place? Ugh, just, like, kill me now. It was a wonderful read, and with the plots you’ve provided, I cannot wait for you to absolutely wreak havoc with him on the dashboard. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER IN CHARACTER

Alias | Rey

Age | 25+

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her

Activity Level | I am able to log in at least once a day! On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say 7.

Timezone | PST

How did you find the rp? | Current player referral!

Current/Past RP Accounts | https://revoluticn.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Lamprius - or Lucien.

These days, you have your husband’s last name, Ivarsson but it’s hard to remember what your family name was before that. Or more like, you have willfully forgotten it. You aren’t of a bloodline or a people, but of a city - and that is Verona. Your pain created you, the streets molded you, and the Witches defined you. This city is as much you as you are it. When you think of yourself, you first think not of the name your mother gave you (Lucien) but the name you were given and have subsequently chosen: Lamprius. Everyday when you wake up , you have the opportunity to mold yourself into whatever this city needs you to be in order to keep the balance; you have the opportunity to rename yourself and recreate yourself, and every day you wake up and you choose Lamprius. The soothsayer. There’s power in the truth and you know it’s what this city needs more than anything else.

What drew you to this character? |

Revenge, a dish best served cold, also happens to be my favorite meal. Time and time again I find myself drawn to characters that are driven or motivated by revenge. Over the course of his skeleton, Lamprius’s personal journey with his revenge goes through its own metamorphosis and I’ve fallen in love with that journey.

After the unjust death of his father, it is Lamprius’ drive for revenge that causes the Witches to notice him and deem him worthy enough to recruit. But Lamprius stands out from your average vendetta-boi because he is a character that must quell the impulse to act on his personal vendettas for the sake of the greater good (which, in this case, means for the sake of the city.) Unlike other literary characters that have similar motivators, ones who will eventually transcend their need for revenge or be consumed by it, Lamprius learns to live with the dissatisfaction that he’ll never really get what he really wants… and he must learn to be okay with that. The Witches have instilled in him a greater sense of purpose, they’ve given him the resources and the tools to keep Verona in line. After the passing of his mother, the three of them even give him a family. For the longest time, Lamprius is a character who attempts to rise above their own personal need for vengeance and is instead trying to focus on giving Verona what it needs: balance. He finds acceptance in that.

And then the Witches die.

Suddenly, that taste for vegengence he’s held at arm's length for so long becomes the very way he is going to protect the Witches' legacy. Suddenly, Lamprius feels justified in his want to burn the Montagues and the Capulets from the inside out. Now, in Lamprius’ eyes, purging the city of the Montagues and Capulets is the best way to bring back that balance to the city. I think of him like Adrian Veidt from Watchmen, willing to go to absurd extremes for the sake of humanity.

Lamprius’ history with the Witches has really piqued my interest as well. His connection to them reminds me so much of Arya Stark’s “a girl has no name” arc from Game of Thrones (the tv show. I’ll admit, I could never get past GRRM’s writing to finish the books.) In many ways it doesn’t matter who Lamprius was before he was with the Witches, because a big part of his story is the erasure of his old self and the ascension into something new thanks to their tutelage. Who are the Witches then? An enigma, even in their death (perhaps more so in their death.) Lamprius’ connection to this clandestine trio feels like it is fraught with opportunity to create some really interesting lore that draws from other secret societies or underground networks of spies that have a code of morals or a higher goal.

Even in his day to day interactions, Lamprius feels like such a fun character to write. He’s cunning and quiet and he becomes a pillar of Verona’s community maybe because of his perceived kindness - or maybe because he is a very good puppeteer. His quiet and kind persona is a wonderful mask for something far more layered underneath. As seen with his connection to Loretta, he has the ability to get people to trust him, hence his unending list of contacts. It’s too easy to call Lamprius ‘good’ because of his quiet nature, peel back his skin and you will see he is one of the rare characters that is a true neutral. He has a greater loyalty to the city as a whole than any specific group of people. Lamprius has the ability to be as dark as he is light, as viscous as he is soft. I imagine him a chameleon, not necessarily one with malicious intent, simply one who can weaponize their empathy. Over the years, the Witches have taught him plenty, including how to see through the eyes of many. Lamprius is the soothsayer who doesn’t shy away from deceit; he understands one’s lies can reveal greater truths about themselves. Rarely does one get to play characters that are truly this fluid.

I’m really excited to explore where Lamprius goes from here and I’ve outlined some of my thoughts on it below:

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

I. “SOME RISE BY SIN, AND SOME BY VIRTUE FALL.”

You are a Witch and, like all the Witches that came before you, Verona is your city to watch over. For years Hecate, Circe, and Medea placated your need for revenge by reaffirming a higher call. They gave you family when you needed it most. They not only gave you the tools for a better city, but they gave you purpose and hope as well. Verona is a city torn up by war, your life has been altered by it first hand, and in you they saw a chance to take that pain and shape it into a force for good.

And then the Witches, in all their goodness, were strung up by the very city they were trying to save.

It has set you on a single-minded path of revenge. Your teachers are dead and you are a student who, for the first time, must decide on their own. And your decision is this: the gangs of this city will rot Verona from the inside out if you don’t do something. You are a Witch and Verona is your city to watch over. For the first time, there is no one to stop you from stepping onto this single-minded path.

[ Revenge. Lamprius is actively looking to bring about the end of the Capulets and the Montagues. He plans on doing this through finding and aligning himself with people who have also been wronged by this war. It takes one to know one, and Lamprius can tell when someone has the same steady heart for vengeance as him. He intends to harness other’s need for revenge to fuel this movement. He’s already shown Harley a card from his hand and he thinks Loretta has what it takes to be a player. Armand, however, might be a mistake….but only time will tell. While his skeleton particularly calls out how he sees this in Harley, Loretta, and Armand, I imagine this could be a broader plot too as he interacts with as many citizens of Verona as he can. At the end of the day, anyone who thinks the way he thinks, who believes what he believes, is welcome to help… though Lamprius is not foolish enough to think that all alliances come without price. Not only would I love to see Lamprius rack up alliances, I would love to see him rack up promises and debts associated with those alliances.]

II. “GOD HAS GIVEN YOU ONE FACE, AND YOU MAKE YOURSELF ANOTHER.”

You were always skilled at slipping into people’s lives without putting on too much of a show. They’d blink and suddenly you’d be there, as certain and unwavering as the truth, as integral to their livelihood as the foundation of any home. You can physically only be in one place at one time, but the Witches taught you how to transcend your limitations by using the eyes and ears of others.

Trust is earned and you earn it through careful orchestration. You play coincidence like a symphony. A broken in-apartment, and you are the one there to help the scared tenant. An ailing mother, and you are the visitor whose own mother is dying in the hospital room next door. “I know where you’re coming from, believe me,” are words that have left your mouth so many times, they may as well be the air that fills your lungs.

You are a therapist as your day job; respected as a doctor, trusted as a friend. People burden you with their innermost truths and you play whatever part they need you to be in order to make them feel like you’ve fixed them. There’s never a dry eye on your office couch by the end of a session and all of these people, some who have only known you for a grand total of one hour, think of you as their closest confidante. As well as they know, they are the same to you. A small suggestion here, a gentle prod there, and suddenly they are set off on a new path of your own devices. You’re both a ghost and a shadow, simultaneously ever present and constantly shifting. Your empathy is fluid, just like the rest of you.

You find yourself setting up a chessboard, as you seek out allies in all these people that you meet. You know the importance of a long game -your patience is unparalleled- but you are not afraid to knock a piece off the board if you must. You are the Soothsayer who gets to the truth of things through lies.

[ One of my favorite implications of the skeleton is that Lamprius is a puppeteer. He creates these Rube Goldbergian schemes that utilize the natural way of the city to bring about an allyship with someone. He is the butterfly that flaps its wings and creates a tornado, and nothing is ever a coincidence. I really want to lean into this with his plots. As mentioned, his friendship with Loretta Delluci shows that he’s not beneath orchestrating an introduction. But, as also seen in the case of Loretta, it’s clear that if Lamprius sees this whole thing as a game of chess, there are some people that are pieces while there are others that are players. He’s too good to let this perspective slip past his lips uncensored, but even if it did, his job as a therapist is an easy explanation for his tendency to psychoanalyze. Are there moments when he borderline feels like Hannibal Lector from the show Hannibal? Absolutely. I’d love him to actually be the therapist for some of the other characters and I would like every new person he “meets'' to never be a coincidence. Or, when a true coincidence occurs, I want it to genuinely surprise him. One of Lamprius’ traits is that he has a lot of resources and while a lot of those are inherited from the Witches, he’s obtained plenty from the connections he forms as well.

Also: Ya boi’s a therapist. Verona really needs therapy. ]

III. “BY THE PRICKING OF MY THUMBS, SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES”

You’ve seen what it’s like to be a God to men who don’t even believe in higher powers. There are men in Verona who refuse to pray at a pew, but still think twice before speaking ill of a Witch. This is the way things should be - but it doesn't take long for men to see themselves as God-Killers.

How do they not see how they’ve damned their city! The Witches, in all their mystery, were not esoteric about their love for Verona. Yes, your time with them has instilled a great need to avenge them, but it has similarly inspired a need to see them reborn stronger than ever.

Verona needs a new set of Witches. It’s a truth that you, Lamprius the Soothsayer, cannot deny.

[ Time to form a new coven! As Lamprius goes about enacting his revenge, I also want him to seek out other truly neutral characters in the hopes of creating a new set of Witches to watch over Verona. I would love to set it up like a secret society - Verona’s very own Illuminati. A clandestine organization that has the same intentions of Watchman's Ozymandias. Lamprius would be just as vigorous as Hecate, Circe, and Medea to make sure he chose right. I am also eager to see what changes to the Witches’ creed comes with this new version.]

IV. “VENGEANCE IS IN MY HEART, DEATH IN MY HAND, BLOOD AND REVENGE ARE HAMMERING IN MY HEAD.”

Everyday you try to become something a little more than human. There’s a merciless level of selflessness that comes with avenging the Witches and each day you work hard to climb up to that pedestal.

But then there’s Ronan - he doesn’t know the name Lamprius. He calls you Lucien and when he does, you almost want it to be your only name. He grounds you with his gravity and makes you feel a warmth in your cheeks. You have been living with your pain for years, so long that you have stopped noticing it. In fact, you’ve stopped noticing your heart existed in your chest at all. Instead, you’ve learned how to empty yourself out. You invent emotion, you choose how to feel. Your heart has become a machine, through which you feed a very precise and particular code. But then he calls you Lucien and your heart gives a single, mighty beat, and it’s all flesh and blood again.

[ Reestablishing the Witches? Destroying the Montagues and the Capulets? These are lofty goals that may require nothing short of a God to accomplish - and as much as he likes to pretend otherwise, Lamprius is just a man. I don’t want his path to his goals to be easy, and for a man who loves to carefully orchestrate everything, I’m always looking for wrenches to throw in his plans. Give me people like Ronan who inspire doubt in himself, or give me people who catch on to what he’s doing and are outright trying to stop him. ]

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes!

IN DEPTH

What is your favorite place in Verona? |

(An acquaintance.)

He knows his answer, but like most things he tries to see if he can find the answer she most wants to hear. It can feel like a game at times, and for Lamprius it can be just as fun. But there’s a method to this madness. He gives her a warm look over the edge of his champagne glass and manages to elegantly swipe another for her from a passing tray. Around them, the crowd of the gala mills about like smoke.

She’s religious if he remembers overhearing her other conversation correctly. Catholic, but lapsed. Yes, that’s it. Even at this Christmas party, she’s mentioned it two too many times to be something she isn’t agonizing over and he can see the guilt of it in her eyes. His true answer is far from the one he gives her:

“The Cathedral. My mother and I used to walk through it together every Christmas morning. Before sunrise, before the crowds got there. We could hear our steps echo through the chamber. When the sunrise hit the paintings on the ceiling, I thought it was magic.”

There it is, he sees her eyes widen with recognition of herself in his story.

“I used to go there every year with my mother too.”

His warm grin widens. I know, he thinks, but he raises his glass in an informal toast. “Well how about that?”

What does your typical day look like? |

(A friend.)

Lucien is in the midst of rolling up the sleeves to his sweater, when he gets asked what his typical day looks like. He raises an eyebrow at the question posed by his friend. Maybe it’s a trick of the light, but it almost looks as if the corners of his lips are quirked up in the slightest smile.

“Don’t tell me our conversation has gotten so boring that you’re now asking about my day to day. I know I’m quiet, but I thought I was doing better than that.”

His words tease. Besides, they don’t even know what they’re asking. His day to days are simply veneer. Wake up, go to work, show face at an event. All of it clockwork. It’s his nights that show the true him, that’s when he descends into the shadows of the city and plays its people like a harp.

“Is this your way of avoiding my question about how your day went? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far? |

(A patient.)

He sits in his office, full attention on the young man in the seat across from him. It’s his last appointment for the day, or rather, his last appointment was two hours ago, but Lamprius is holding himself to the decision that this will be the last one. He’s in his element here, and the air settles calm around him. Outside evening blankets the city. “Would you like some tea?” He asks.

To which his patient blurts out “What has been your biggest mistake thus far?” unofficially starting the session. Lamprius examines the other down the length of his nose and realizes that they’re still having the conversation they had during the last time they met.

Lamprius doesn’t think Asher would very much understand his biggest mistake thus far. Inaction. He closes his eyes and imagines the swinging bodies of those that meant so much to him; he feels the weight of that loss for the city as a whole, it sits in his chest and in his throat and on his shoulders. His body betrays him in the slightest as he pushes his pen down into the notepad. An ink bleed spreads from where he’s stabbed it with such force.

But Lamprius opens his eyes immediately, the pause is as quick as a blink, and the therapist knows what he has to say to his patient.

“I didn’t say goodbye to my mother when I had the chance.”

He didn’t, but that’s another kind of hurt entirely, from a different lifetime. Lamprius taps his pen and then leans back into his seat; allowing his eyes to wander up to the ceiling in a show of vulnerability before saying:

“All we have to do is decide what to do with the time given to us.”

He offers up a small smile, like a faintest ray of sunlight filtering through a window. His gaze turns back on his patient.

“Thanks, Gandalf, “ Asher mutters, but Lamprius clocks the way he relaxes his shoulders, the way he settles into his seat and allows himself to seem small and fragile in it. He sees this and knows he’s doing his job. Lamprius gives him a moment before softly clearing his throat.

“How about we begin with you telling me about your day, Asher. Did you visit the hospital?”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you? |

(His husband.)

He’s by the kitchen table that Saturday morning when the question is asked of him. His neck is crooked at a certain angle, as his left hand props open the pages to the Epic of Gilgamesh. His right hand is equally occupied preparing a piece of toast - though right now he’s paused mid-motion, butter knife hovering over the butter. Lamprius unintentionally does this a few times - gets close enough to butter his toast, and then stops to flip the page. His husband’s question cracks the stillness of the air; the suddenness of it spilling like yolk. It almost makes Lamprius grip the butter knife like a proper knife. He is oh so rarely met with genuine surprise but his husband’s question holds a level of intimacy the two haven’t shared in years. For a second Lamprius’ mask almost slips and it’s good he has the words of Gilgamesh to hide behind.

He feels a tug that he was almost certain was forgotten. For a moment he is truly Lucien.

Finally, like an alligator emerging from the water, he peeks up over the top of his book so only his eyes show. He contemplates his words. Measures and cuts them so that they are a perfect fit. He doesn’t ask why Ronan is asking him such things on this halcyon Saturday morning, he simply answers.

“Knowing there wasn’t anything I could do for my mother, “ His biological one, but also the three that came to raise him, “but watch the clock run out of time.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? |

(A stranger.)

They must be the only two people in the city that still read a physical print newspaper. Lamprius likes the feel of the pages; likes how easily it can become a barrier between him and the rest of the world. He visits this stand often, it’s the perfect distance between where he parks his car and the front door of his office.

The man next to him, the one in the long dark coat, is a familiar face. It’s a judge, from the local courthouse. This makes sense seeing as they’re only a few blocks away from the building. Lamprius wouldn’t call him a regular of this newspaper stand. On this morning, the stranger points to the latest headline. Another fight has broken out in the city and Lamprius feels immediate abhorrence - but what he despises even more is how this judge has the audacity to ask ‘What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?’ The question sets off a blizzard in Lamprius, though he doesn’t show it. His lips threaten to curl back into a snarl. ‘How do you, a man of the law, know their names and still not know where you stand on the matter?’ Lamprius thinks coldly.

He looks at this man and decides he doesn’t deserve the conversation. Some will always be willfully blind. If he’s a judge in this city and he still doesn’t know how he feels about this war, it isn’t Lamprius’ job to impart that caring onto him. He folds his newly purchased newspaper into a neat rectangle and tucks it under his arm before looking at the man, nothing but the perfect imitation of curiosity and confusion shining in his eye:

“What war?”

Extras:

“In nature’s infinite book of secrecy, a little I can read.” - Lamprius, the Soothsayer

Pinterest board: https://pin.it/7BdECcs

#accepted #accepted: lamprius

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forevfangirlwrites · 6 years

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Can you do a paranormal Stephew fic? One of them is a medium who's been tasked to investigate a haunted place, and encounters the other as a ghost

The last place Matt would have thought would be haunted washis new apartment. Yet as he stepped through the threshold he could feel thepresence of someone, or rather something. He probably should have vetted itearlier but now he had already signed the lease and all he could do was hopethis one wouldn’t be that much of a problem.

“Hello,” he called out warily. “Are you there?”

Nothing.

He stepped further in and dropped his bags.

“I can feel your presence, I’m not here to hurt you, I justwant to help.”

He waited a beat…and still nothing.

Well that wasn’t going all to well. Maybe the spirit wasn’tstrong enough to appear. Whatever the case, he was losing daylight and neededto finish moving in soon. The spirit seemed harmless enough.

He hoped.

Once he had more or less finished moving in he slumped onthe couch and closed his eyes tiredly. Moving boxes was not fu-

A loud noise broke his thoughts and he quickly stood up. Thenoise seemed to be coming from the kitchen but when he got there nothing hadchanged or moved.

“Hey, was that you?” he asked the air.

No answer.

“Look,” he sighed tiredly. “I’m not here to hurt you, I’mjust living here. I already signed a lease so it’s too late to move out, I hopeyou understand. I’ll try and talk to you tomorrow okay? Maybe we can figuresomething out?”

There was no response but he felt a slight chill and hopedthat was a confirmation.

The next day, he dug through the boxes and pulled out a Ouijaboard. Not the best method but the rest of his stuff was still buried in boxesand the board would do until he got it all set up.

“Hey!” he called through the apartment. “I got a board, notideal I know, I’ll get set up with something better after I finish unpackingokay?”

He wanted to be as transparent as possible, he needed thespirit to trust him, to understand he meant no harm.

With the board all set up he waited for a moment before askinghis first question.

“Who are you?”

For a moment there was nothing and he wondered if maybe theboard was also too hard for the spirit to use but another cold chill made himstop.

Slowly the piece moved spelling out the letters S T E P H AN I E

“Stephanie? It’s nice to meet you. My name is Matthew, I’m amedium.” He introduced, trying to appear as friendly as possible. He had noidea how old the girl was or how long she’d been here.

“Well Stephanie I’ll be able to talk to you better once I’msettled in but we need to get somethings clear okay?”

The spirit hadn’t harmed him in any way but he wanted tomake sure it was going to be okay.

“Do you understand I’m not going to hurt you?

The piece moved to the YES.

“Are you okay with me living here?”

Once again, YES.

“Can you promise you won’t hurt me?”

YES.

He let out a sigh of relief. This was goo-

Suddenly, the lights started flickering violently and theroom got very cold. But in a second it was over, and everything returned tonormal.

“Stephanie?” he called out, worry overtaking him now.

The piece started to move again but before it could make itto the letter it stopped suddenly. He couldn’t feel her presence anymore.

With a worried frown he packed up everything. It seemed likethe spirit had lost its energy. With renewed vigor he set to unpacking theboxes.

A day later he was settled in and finally had all hismaterials. He set up the mat and candles and filled a bowl with some itemscovering it all in a layer of sand. And in the darkened room he chanted,calling the spirit to him. When he finally opened his eyes she was there,barely holding her form, but a woman around his age stared back at him.

“Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he said gripping thebowl to maintain the connection.

She nodded.

“How long have you been like this? You seem pretty new atthis.”

She couldn’t seem to talk so he looked down at the bowlwhere the answer was being written out in the sand.

“Six? Six months? What happened?”

He looked up to see the girl looking sadly back.

“Shot? You were shot? I’m so sorry.” And he truly was. Hereyes had wisps of white flowing down which he recognized as tears.

She hadn’t deserved to get shot, she wasn’t even a violentspirit. Just a girl who was confused and lost and sad.

But what was connecting her to this place? Maybe if he foundout he could help set her free.

“Did you use to live here?” he asked finally.

She nodded in response. Well he couldn’t just salt and burnthe apartment. He would need to help her move on.

“Listen, I can help you, I-“ He broke off as the apparitionstarted to flicker and his concentration and hold fell through. He gaspedviolently as he was thrust out of the communication and into the now brightlylit room.

This would take some time he noted, she wasn’t strong enoughto help just yet. He wouldn’t be able to help her let go, not like this. She neededto get stronger, which seemed counter intuitive, but he had to be able to talkto her.

He would wait.

-.-.-

It took about a month or so but she was finally strongenough to move things around with consistency.

It started with small notes in steamed bathroom mirrors whichranged from “hello” to “Doctors apt. @ 3.”

He laughed at that one and thanked her for reminding him. Shealso helped him out around the apartment, putting dishes away, or throwing out emptydiet coke cans.

(He told her she really didn’t need to do all that but a pillowgot thrown in his face and he took it as a sign to shut up.)

They talked for longer periods of time, even through theboard, about a dozen small things. He learned her favorite color was purple andshe had loved tea. He tried to gather all the information he could tounderstand why she was still here and how to help her leave the realm ofexistence she was in.

A couple weeks later, she could hold an apparition, whichscared him the first time she appeared at the entrance to the kitchen when hewas making a sandwich.

She laughed silent at the reaction and he felt a heat cometo his cheeks as he begrudgingly laughed along with her.

Now he could see her float through the house, watch TV whenhe did, stare out the window. It was weird to see her react to things, shewould roll her eyes at a bad joke or bop her head to a song.

It seemed like she was getting more and more human everyday.More and more real.

“Can you try to talk?” he asked one day as they sat on thecouch watching the news.

He watched her consider the words. She opened her mouth butnothing came out. She looked down at her lap, disappointed.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’ll get there,” he reassured. She noddedglumly and turned back towards the news. They had only been watching for a minutemore before an inhumane scream pierced the air.

Matt jumped at the sound. “Stephanie!?” he yelled. She had disappearedand the whole place was shaking slightly, lights flickering, and so so cold. Hecould see his breath.

“Stephanie!?” he yelled again, “Are you okay?”

No answer, just more lights and cold and shaking. Slowlythough, it started to fade, the air turned warm, the lights stopped flickering,and things were quiet.

But he could here sobbing coming from the corner of the roomand there she was huddled close shaking and sobbing, tears running down herpale cheeks.

He moved closer to her. “Hey,” he whispered sitting besideher, “Hey it’s okay.”

And they sat until she finally calmed down and looked up athim.

“They shot me,” she whispered, her voice dry and crackingfrom unuse. She looked up to where the TV was still playing, talking about aseries of mobbings they were investigating.

“They appeared out of nowhere on my walk home and shot me.” Hervoice was quiet, and tears were still running down her cheeks.

“I don’t know what happened after that. I..I just knew I hadto get home. So I did, but it wasn’t the same. No one could see me, or hear me.They took out all my stuff. I…I realized that I had died.”

She looked up with a broken look on her face.

“All I wanted was to go home and drink some tea, I just wantedto live.”

He reached out a hand. She stared at it for a second before reachingout her own to meet his. She had a solid touch now, cold and pale but stillsolid. She gasped at the contact.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. He understood her now.Understood that she was strapped here because all she wanted was home. And alife.

“You didn’t deserve what happened to you. But you don’tdeserve this either.” He gestured to her body. “You don’t deserve this cursedhalf-life.”

“It’s not so bad,” she replied, looking over at him. “Not when…notwhen you’re around.”

He smiled sadly.

“But I won’t always be around, and you’ll be stuck in torment.You need to let go.”

Her eyes widened, and she shook her heard vigorously.

“No, no! I don’t want to go.”

He clasped his other hand on top of hers.

“Listen, I know it seems scary, but it’s okay. It’ll bebetter on the other side.”

She shook her head and looked away.

“I don’t….I don’t want to…”

He pulled her close.

“Shhhh, I know, I know it’s hard. But you need to let go.You have come so far Steph, you just got to finish it now.”

Fresh tears had started running down her face at the words.

“Will I see you again?”

He smiled softly. “Maybe. Wait for me on the other side, yeah?”

She nodded, still crying and he was surprised to find awetness on his cheeks as well.

A bright light shone in the room and he blinked back his owntears as she slowly got up and moved towards it, entranced.

With one last look back she smiled, a true smile, andstepped in, vanishing in an instant.

He smiled back as his eyes burned from the light and tears.

“Goodbye Stephanie, may death find you alive.”

A/N: Hey! Thanks for this prompt! It ran a little long but it was just so much fun to write! (Plus I’m re-watching Supernatural so this kind of stuff is on my mind) I hope you like what I came up with! Thanks again!

#this is so long #like almost 2k words #which is not that long #but long for the kind of stuff I normally post on here #I hope you all like it!#matpat and stephanie #matpat and steph #fanfiction #stephew #stephew fic

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thotyssey · 6 years

Text

On Point With: Queen Robert

Hilarious, oddball antics and high-meets-low-meets-intergalactic fashions do away with the need for some funny-punny drag name for this performer. Whether she’s interjecting with a slaying quip while screening a classic film, or giving you the whole Big Ang Experience in a high stakes lip sync battle, or just being funny and fierce, this queen is giving you life. God Save Queen Robert!

Thotyssey: Greetings, Queen! How is Pride Week treating you so far?

Queen Robert: Hello! Thank you! I've been looking forward to gabbing with you. Pride has been good to me so far! It's been chaotic, but extremely gratifying, and we're only half way through! I also started bartending at the Rosemont this month, so even when I'm not out in drag I'm still out on the scene. It's an exhausting month for anyone working in nightlife.

Wow, that is a lot of nightlife. You must never see the sun!

I actually sat out at the Christopher Pier a couple of days ago while on my way back from a costume fitting. I looked like a vampire amongst all those honey-glazed hunks. I definitely prefer the light of the moon.

It's much more flattering, for sure. So speaking of the Rosemont, you just guest performed for Lucy Ball's show there last week.

I adore Lucy. She's a total weirdo. Her transformations set her apart from anyone working in Brooklyn. Did you see her Lambchop and Cryptkeeper? Incredible. Patti Spliff, another genius, was also performing that night. The three of us each have monthly Tuesday parties at The Rosemont, so it was fun to get together for a show. I did Donna Summer, farted on a cake and then pressed my face into it....because...drag.

You should do kids' parties!

So, how did this all begin... where's your hometown, and what were you into growing up?

I'm from a small town not worth mentioning, in south central New Jersey. New York was always just on the horizon, like the Emerald City in Oz. I often wonder how this all began myself. There's a few memories that come right to the surface: my first wig, a green one from Universal Studios Orlando at age 5; my first two concerts at 7, Cher and Bette Midler; religiously renting The Rocky Horror Picture Show on VHS from blockbuster at 9; my mom playing Queen's Greatest Hits in the kitchen and telling me that Freddie Mercury was the coolest man who ever lived.

I always went big for Halloween--really big, I'm talking prosthetics by third grade and gender play by sixth. Then I got into theater, film, and eventually ended up in Manhattan for college, where I was able to release all of my passions without the constraints of small town life.

Growing up, I was into everything spooky and queer that defied the norm. It wasn't a conscious rejection of heteronormativity, it was simply who I was from the very beginning. Anyone who thinks I'm new to this type of lifestyle and culture is in denial of my entire existence.

So movies were always there! Besides Rocky Horror, what are some other favorites?

Creature features will always have a special place in my heart. I find them to be a metaphor for anyone who has ever felt they had something to hide about themselves. American Werewolf in London, The Fly, Carrie, Gremlins, anything from the minds of Stephen King, John Carpenter, and John Waters. Oh, and the Chucky franchise has always been a favorite of mine. I have all the dolls.

Did you see that Carrie remake, like, 5 years ago? It was dumb. Well, there are two remakes: an early 2000's TV movie, the 2013 Julianne Moore remake, and a 90's sequel to the original. All have their charm, but the best part of each incarnation is surely the role of Margaret White, Carrie's psycho momma. Gays really seem to relate to that film, and the character Carrie. I know I did. She's the ultimate outcast who gets the greatest revenge on her abusers. My first drag performance in Brooklyn was actually a parody of Carrie, where I played both mother and daughter, appropriately set to the music of Madonna and Britney. Metropolitan [Bar] wasn't thrilled with the blood, though.

Was drag just the best venue for you to explore these aesthetics and interests, or was there something else about it that strongly appealed to you?

I moved to NYC to pursue a career in film, and while on that journey came to desperately miss performing. So, yes, drag was the best way to jump back in the performance ring while combining politics, pop culture, and aesthetics. It was hard at first to build an audience for my film work before drag. Now I'm in this creative community where anything is possible, and I can get back behind the camera and generate content that has an audience. Drag is a powerful platform, and I'm excited to see what other avenues it may lead me down.

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with! Why don’t you have a wackier drag name than “Queen Robert?” I mean, it is kind of funny in a minimalist sorta way.

I get that all the time! I have a whole list of wacky drag names, and I'd love to utilize them for some more character driven work / alter egos (Gaggatha Christie is my evil twin; I keep her locked up, though).

My drag, isn't necessarily female impersonation, I have a beard, I don't wear a bra, I'm never out here trying to be "fish." I'm a camp queen, so my personality is wacky enough. I never liked my name Robert, until one day I threw "Queen" in front of it and I was like, "oh yeah, that's better!” I'm a butch queen; I embrace my femininity and masculinity. Robert is a very masculine name... but honey, I'm a damn queen! Drag for me hasn't been about inventing a new personality and a new name; it's about being my ultimate creative self.

Also, there's so many repeat names in the drag business, it's annoying to constantly have to clarify which artist you're talking about depending on first or last name. I'm the only Queen Robert: unless you wanna try to compare my name to Bob the Drag Queen--but that would be silly, her real name is Caldwell!

So, how did you begin hosting “Screen Queen” at the Rosemont?

Troy at the Rosemont took interest in my pop culture numbers and said he had a monthly slot available. Being a film buff, I naturally turned the night into a celebration of local queer filmmakers and popular movies in the LGBT community.

What’s your personal strategy of “screen queening,” particularly with the classics? Do you share anecdotes during the movie, do you wait til it’s over, or do you just let it speak for itself?

It's a fun night! I show the film early, chime in from time to time with fun anecdotes or conversation with the audience about their experiences with the film. Then we jump into shows inspired by the film. This month was Pink Flamingos, and this got filthy! Lee VaLone was licking shoes. Pepto Dismal shit eggs on a hot plate. Misty Menthol puked on Coma White. People were actually gagging. Divine would have been proud. Next month is the much more family friendly Mamma Mia.

Yikes, I can’t wait for you to do Showgirls! What have been some of the films that affected you as far as those made by local filmmakers that you’ve screened?

Joe Sulsenti's Fishy was a highlight. It's an animation starring Amanda Lepore. There's so many talented artists that I've been able to screen, I love them all. Sweaty Eddie, Chris of Hur, Amber Alert, Marcel Saleta, Miwa Sakulrat, Chris Crompton. Everybody has such a unique voice and style. It's wonderful hearing their process.

Werk! So I was in the house for the last session of the Lady Liberty drag competition at the Ace Hotel a few months ago. It was a “Snatch Game” celebrity impersonation edition, and you appeared as a clean-shaven Big Ang with ginormous bazooms! It was a hilarious and affectionate portrayal, and it got you in the top two. What made you decide to enter that completion as her? My lesbian bestie Daniella in New Jersey and I would religiously watch Mob Wives and Big Ang together. I regret so deeply I didn't go to her bar in Staten Island, The Drunken Monkey, to meet her before she passed. She's one of my spirit animals (her and Kathy Bates). Everyone said I shouldn't do her for “Snatch Game” because of Pearl's portrayal on Drag Race. But, I have been impersonating her in some sense for years, so I felt it was necessary. And I know her family saw my portrayal and they said she would have loved it. Party everyday, because you never know when you're gonna go!

Lady Liberty returns for a Pride edition this Friday to the Ace Hotel, and you’re gonna be back there too! How do you think it’s gonna go!? I think that they are expecting to get another "Big Ang" moment, and that's simply not what I have cooking. They'll be getting something uniquely me. I hope it goes well!

I bet it will!

And looking a little bit ahead, you'll be at Bizarre on post-Pride Tuesday for a special edition of Lee Valone's BEEF, with a bunch of cool people like The Brides of Burlesque, Pierretta Viktori, Devo Monique and Viktor Devonne. Have you turned it on that stage before?

I love performing at Bizarre! They really have a proper stage, which does help heighten numbers. BEEF Show is a damn riot, always diverse, always entertaining, and I'm thrilled to join this month's cast.

June 28th, you'll be throwing your wig into the June installment of the Mx Mont Rose comedy queen pageant at the Rosemont! That's gonna be quite a lineup. No spoilers, but did you know what you wanted to do immediately for that one?

Comedy is hard. There's a fine line to walk. People are very sensitive. One safe bet is to make fun of yourself. I'm hoping to give you something like the result of Joan Rivers topping Robin Williams after a drunken night at The Rosemont.

That’s all any of us want! Good luck! Anything else coming up to mention?

There's always something. Tuesday, July 3rd at The Rosemont, Screen Queen: MAMMA MIA featuring my sisters Chutney Spears, Tiffany Jones Sterling, Flower Tortilla, and Jessica Rose. [And I’m doing] FAILURE, July 5th at Bizarre.

But what's really exciting is the music video I'm directing for Crystal Mesh this summer. I'll give you a hint... there's gonna be lots of chlorine and cum.

Gag! One last question: what advice do you have for new NYC Pride-goers this week?

More glitter. Less clothes. Stay hydrated. Tip your performers AND bartenders! Have fun and be safe! Oh... and be sure your Pride merch benefits the community or a cause, and not some capitalist corporation that doesn't truly support the LGBT community!

The Queen has spoken! Thank you!

Queen Robert hosts “Screen Queen” every first Thursday at the Rosemont (10pm). Check Thotyssey’s calendar for all her scheduled gigs, and follow the Queen on Facebook and Instagram.

On Point Archives

#onpointwith #queenrobert

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winstonlives · 6 years

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Valentine’s Day Outing

Summary: Dan and Phil decide enough is enough, they want to celebrate at one of their favorite restaurants like anyone else might. So they venture out, but the outcome from the excursion is surprising.

Rating: Pg-13

Word count: 2500

Pairing: M/M

I wanted to thank my Betas, Flor for being very enthusiastic and jumping on the chance to read it. Bluewho, for always being willing and able to read and critique my writing when I am unsure. And last but not least Dan, for well, putting up with me everyday.

That’s the 14th.”

“I know,” Phil said, nuzzling into the crook of Dan’s neck. “I already made reservations, but wanted to make sure you’d be okay with the idea.” He pressed light kisses over the sensitive skin.

“Phil…” Dan sighed, goosebumps erupting over his body, “You know that’s not a good idea.”

“I don’t care anymore,” Phil said, moving lower and nipping at Dan’s collarbone. “I mean I care, but I want to live my life how I want.” He sat up then, straddling Dan’s hips. He looked down at him, his hands splayed out over Dan’s chest. “I want to take you out for a romantic dinner on a romantic holiday. I’ve had enough of this hiding out.”

“I hardly think us staying home is hiding out. I mean I did a live show once, and we stay in 90% of the time normally,” Dan said, running his hands absentmindedly over the tops of Phil’s thighs. “It’s not like we don’t celebrate. Or have you forgotten 2015?”

“Oh, trust me, I remember 2015,” Phil smirked, as his dick twitched at the memory. “That was a good year.”

“See, and we certainly did not go out then. We would have been arrested if we left the house.”

“Yeah, okay. So you don’t want to go out?”

“Well,” Dan said, bringing his hands up to Phil’s hips, then back to cup his butt, “where did you make reservations?”

Phil smiled. “Sketch; the lecture room.”

“Hmm…” Dan smiled, “I guess we could go out. You think we’ll be safe there?” he whispered, before pulling Phil down so he could kiss him. “They know we like that place…”

Phil laughed and sat up again. “They do, but I know you’ve been wanting to try out the lecture room. We haven’t been there in a long time, so I thought it would be a good treat for Valentine’s Day. Besides, I made late reservations and it’s midweek. Kids have to be in bed for school.”

Dan smiled. “You know it’s not just kids. We’ve met enough people who are about our age…”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if we have to worry about people our age freaking out online about seeing us out.” Phil shrugged, then leaned forward again to press his lips to Dan’s jawline. “I mean I’m sure it’ll get out if we’re spotted, but it will be slightly more subdued than key smashing.”

“If you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it,” Dan sighed, tipping his head the other direction and allowing Phil better access to his neck.

“M’fine with it…” Phil said as he moved lower, taking a pert nipple into his mouth and sucking. “Now be quiet, I’m trying to enjoy myself. Stop talking about them seeing us…”

“You never want me to be quiet in bed.” Dan chuckled, then drew in a sharp breath. “Oww you dork. Don’t bite so hard!” He rubbed over the red spot on his ribcage.

“Then don’t be smart while I’m doing this…” Phil smirked, then sucked a hickey to the left of Dan’s belly button. “You love it. Don’t pretend you don’t.” He bit Dan again before moving lower.

______

“You almost ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Dan said, looking at himself in the large gold framed mirror against the wall. “You sure about this Phil?”

“Yes.” Phil smiled as he walked back into the bedroom. “You look great.” He walked to Dan and slid his arms around his waist, then kissed his cheek. “Like, really good.”

“Thanks,” Dan said. “You know this could be a big night for us....”

“I know. I’m ready, are you?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Dan sighed, smoothing a wayward curl. Phil smiled, then took Dan’s hand and pulled him towards the door.

About twenty-five minutes later, they were being led through Sketch to their table. They looked through the menus and ordered the same thing. They splurged by ordering a bottle of champagne, which sat in a gold bucket on a stand next to the table.

“I don’t see anyone looking at us,” Dan whispered as he leaned over his plate.

“You sound disappointed.” Phil chuckled before taking a bite. “It’s not like everytime we leave the house we’re mobbed with fans. We can go out without being seen. It happens all the time.”

“Not disappointed, just surprised,” Dan said, chewing as he glanced around. “I guess I just had it in my head someone would see us. You know, because of the day.”

“Well, I did make the reservations pretty late in hopes that no one would see us. It is a school night and nine is kind of late on a Wednesday.”

“Good thinking.” Dan nodded as he chewed, scanning the room. “Although I think that woman has looked at me a few times.”

“Maybe she just thinks you’re hot stuff,” Phil smirked and glanced over his shoulder. “If she takes a picture let me know.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Dan said. He rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying she may know who we are.”

“So?” Phil shrugged. “What can we do about it now? We knew someone might recognize us. We knew this might be a… someone might blow this dinner out of proportion.”

“Well, would it be blown out of proportion?” Dan asked. He stabbed a noodle on his plate, perhaps a bit more aggressively than necessary. “I mean the last things we said outright in regards to our relationship were almost as good as saying we were not together. Then here we are on Valentine’s day, dressed up and at a romantic restaurant by ourselves. I think whatever would happen would be about par for the course.”

“That was years and years ago wasn’t it?” Phil said as he pushed the last piece of pasta on his plate through the thick sauce. “We’ve basically been in the ‘glass closet’, as they say, for the last couple years.”

“Yeah, well - glass closet or not, the two of us here on Valentine's day is almost like releasing our god damn sex tape.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Okay, drama queen. I think our sexy sex tape would cause at least a bit more of a stir.” He chuckled, then popped a piece of garlic bread in his mouth, chewing around a grin.

“Hardee har har,” Dan groaned, sticking out his tongue.

“Will you please relax?” Phil pleaded, sliding his hand over to Dan’s side of the table. “We decided that we could handle this. And so far nothing has happened. Try and enjoy it, okay?” He flipped the palm of his hand up as if he wanted Dan to take it. Dan looked down and poked it instead.

“Yeah okay. She hasn’t looked back over here since the first couple of times.” Dan sighed. “We’re almost done, anyway. She only has a half hour or so to paparazzi your ass.”

Phil chuckled. “Hmm, maybe I should pull my trousers down so she can see that I’m wearing some special Valentine’s pants.”

“Oh really?” Dan smirked.

“Mmm.” Phil nodded. “Think she’d like a picture?”

“Of that ass? Anyone would be happy to have a picture of it.” Dan winked. “Are we getting dessert here, or do you have something else planned?”

“I do have some whipped cream and chocolate covered strawberries at home, but I’m thinking you meant something sexy.”

Dan snorted into his champagne. “Phil, you dork. I did mean something sexy, yes, but that sounds good too.”

They finished their meal and paid the bill without incident. As they stepped onto the pavement outside, the cool air felt refreshing after leaving the warmth of the restaurant. A high voice called to them as they turned to walk up the road. “Umm, Dan? Phil?” They turned back and smiled down at a couple of girls. Not girls, women. They were both probably in their mid to late twenties.

“Hi,” Dan said dryly. He was smiling but his lips were tight and there no crinkles around his eyes.

“Hi, sorry, you know...um this is stupid…sorry,” the taller of the two woman said. “Sorry, hi. Hello, I mean. We just wanted to say we love you guys.”

Phil smiled. “That’s always nice to hear.”

“We met at TATINOF, actually,” the small blonde said, smiling. “We were the only two adults in our section who were actual fans and not parents of fans.”

Dan chuckled. “I can see how that would help you become friends.”

“Oh,” the taller one said. “We’re not friends… well I mean we are. She’s my best friend, but we also just got engaged.” She held up the other woman’s left hand, showing off a small diamond ring. “So we just wanted to say we love you guys and we...well. Because of you, we met each other. It’s just funny that we ran into you tonight since we just got engaged. And we met when we saw you irl for the first time, too. Sorry…I’m babbling. We’re just so happy and excited!”

“Well, congratulations!” Dan smiled wider. This time the smile reached his eyes. It was a real and genuine smile. He held his hand out to look at the ring. “It’s beautiful. It’s always fun to hear stories like this. What are your names?”

“Oh! Sorry! Ha,” the taller woman chuckled nervously. “I’m Elena. And, and this is Dot.”

“Nice to meet you. Would you two like a picture?” Phil smiled.

“Oh that’s okay,” Dot said. “We don’t want to put you out.”

“It’s no trouble, really,” Dan insisted. “It’s always nice to meet fans.”

“Even on Valentine’s Day?” Elena asked, her left eyebrow rising.

Dan and Phil looked at each other. “Yeah, that’s fine,” Phil said. This time his smile was tight-lipped.

“No, really it’s okay. We can get a photo in a few months. We have VIP tickets to the new tour,” Elena said. “It looks like you two were out having a nice night and we interrupted. We were just so caught up in the excitement of getting engaged. Then, what are the chances, there you are walking up the same street.”

“Yeah, thanks for stopping,” Dot chipped in. “We really just wanted to thank you. We can take a photo later.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.” Dan looked back and forth between the two of them. “It really is not a problem.”

“Hmm. I look terrible right now from all the crying I did. You know, the whole engagement thing.” Elena took Dot’s hand in hers, kissed it, and turned back to Dan and Phil. “Thanks for everything. Have a good Valentines. We’ll see you later.” They turned and walked the opposite way to where Dan and Phil were going.

Dan watched as they walk to the end of the block and turned out of sight. “Well,” he said as he turned to Phil. “That was nice.”

“It was.” Phil smiled as they began to walk.

_______

Dan woke to the smell of coffee and pancakes. He called out to Phil but did not get a reply. He stood up, stretched, and began walking towards their en-suite. He kicked off the red and black jockstrap that was hooked around his foot as he went. After he peed and brushed his teeth, he walked back into the room and pulled on a clean pair of pants.

“Phil?” he called out, shuffling into the kitchen. His slippers were making a shooshing noise over the floor.

“You could never sneak up on me in those things.” Phil teased, his back to Dan as he flipped a pancake. Dan leaned in and kissed the side his neck from behind. “Glad you’re awake. Now I don’t have to be super romantic and bring you breakfast in bed. Now we can watch Blue Planet instead.”

“Damn. If I knew breakfast in bed was the alternative, I would have stayed there. Even if it is pancakes again.” Dan chuckled, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “I’m knackered still. Did a lot of work last night.”

“Mmm, and I thank you,” Phil said, plating the two pancakes he was making. He poured more batter into the pan. “Almost topped your performance in 2015.”

“Oh yeah?” Dan inquired. He wrapped his arms around Phil’s waist. “That good huh?”

“Mmm,” Phil grunted as he nodded his head. “Make some more coffee will you, you lazy bum? The pancakes are almost done.”

Dan turned to the kettle and switched it on. He prepped their mugs as well. “So have you checked to see if we were spotted last night? I mean by someone with a camera, not Elena and Dot.”

“Not yet. Thought I’d wait until after breakfast,” Phil said, flipping the last two pancakes. “Wanted to enjoy my food.”

“Fair enough,” Dan said. His phone vibrated on the counter next to him. He picked it up and looked at the screen.

Mum: What’s happening?

Dan: Morning to you too.

Mum: What is this business about you and Phil having girlfriends?

Dan: Say what now?

“I think my mum’s lost it,” Dan said over his shoulder as he waited for a response to his last message.

“Why?” Phil asked, plating the pancakes. “Food’s ready. Grab the coffees.” He walked out of the kitchen with both plates and the syrup bottle.

Dan’s phone vibrated again as he was walking into the lounge. He set the coffees down on a nearby table and pulled his cell out of his pocket.

Mum: There is a picture of you two from last night, with two girls.

Dan: Oh yeah we met two women last night, they just got engaged. It was nice.

Mum: People have been saying they were your girlfriends. LOL

Dan: Oh, well that’s new. Why would someone think that?

Mum: Well the pictures.

Dan: There are pictures?

Mum: Yes. Look at them, and you’ll see. You’re holding hands with one of the girls.

“Apparently last night we were outed...as straight!” Dan said to Phil, laughing. He cut into a pancake.

Phil choke-coughed on his coffee, “What?”

“Elena and Dot are our girlfriends apparently,” Dan said, swallowing a bite of food. “Someone got a pic of us outside the restaurant and thought we were with them.”

Phil laughed, setting his coffee down. “So we finally go out on Valentine’s day, preparing to be outed, on a romantic date with each other. And the next morning the key smashing is about us and our supposed girlfriends?”

“Yup.” Dan chuckled. “Not how I thought the day would have started.”

“Me either,” Phil said. “Have you seen the pictures?”

“Not yet,” Dan replied, shoving more pancake into his mouth. “Does it matter?”

“Not at all,” Phil smirked. “Next year maybe we’ll be seen with our wives and kids.”

“We can only hope.” Dan laughed. “Janice will finally have her night out on the town.”

“It’s the least I could do really.” Phil shrugged and turned on the video. “After our years together she should at least get one night out.”

#fest: vday 2018 #also on ao3

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lovequotescom · 4 years

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Couple Quotes : I May Be A Mob But Because My Favorite Is Here, Everyday Is Fun

Couple Quotes :

I May Be A Mob But Because My Favorite Is Here, Everyday Is Fun

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bowtomypointlesswords · 6 years

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I want to know everything!!!!!! 1-6, 12-17, 23-26, 30, 33, 34, 40 (Link an AO3, Wattpad, etc. if you have one), 41, 52-54. Thanks in advance.

Wow you really do want to know everything! Goodness, well I hope I don’t disappoint haha! Thanks for the ask!1. Favorite place to write.My favorite place to write is anywhere I can be wholey alone. I tend to do most writing at night, late.2. Favorite part of writing.My favorite thing about writing is escaping into my own worlds. I like being able to get away from my stresses and write fluff or get my anger out in a fight scene.3. Least favorite part of writing.I hate that feeling where you want to write but when you pull up the document it just stares at you and the little line blinks and eventually you just close the program and feel sad…4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?I carry a notebook everywhere with me. I may not use it often but it’s always in my purse in case I need it. I also have both Google Drive and Evernote on my phone for access to all of my documents.5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.Brian Jacques (The Tales from Redwall), and Barbra Park (Junie B. Jones) were a big part of my childhood. Scott Westerfield (Uglies), and E.D. Baker (The Frog Princess) were also influential. More recently Douglas Addams (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), Edgar Allen Poe (The Tell Tale Heart, Nevermore, The Caske of MonteCristo… others) and Michael Scott (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel) have been big for me.6. Favorite character you ever created.Oh gosh this one is hard… You’re asking me to choose between my babies here! Uh, my favorite is the Mob Boss Katlin Taylor from Resist. I don’t know what it is about her. Maybe it’s the Irish accent… Maybe it’s the fact she can kill people without ruining her mascara or breaking a sweat… maybe it’s the fact she’s crazy hot and still powerful, smart, and still cares a great deal about the little people…12. How do you deal with self-doubts?I’m lucky I have a very supportive mother. She helps. When she’s not around I tend to take breaks. I step away from it for a few days, I reread when I come back and remember I don’t suck.13. How do you deal with writers block?I find someone to talk it out with… this has on occasion been myself in an empty room talking to a stuffed animal or my cat. It has also been a living person I trust (I.E. my mother.) I’ve also taken breaks as stated above. You have to let ideas breathe sometimes. Sometimes showers help. All the oxygen really gets the brain going.14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?I have delved deep. I want to do my characters and my readers justice. I’ve researched PTSD, I researched multiple personality disorder when one of my characters had that even though that idea was ultimately scrapped. I’ve looked at the effects of drugs, the price of various goods in various markets, I looked into Mongolian culture when I made my Mongolian character Ghoa. I always try to be thorough and thoughtful.15. Where does your inspiration come from?Everywhere. No really. Everywhere. Books, movies, plays, music, random conversations I overhear at restaurants, people watching in the park… I watched the new Oceans 8 this weekend and was inspired to work on a fanfic I’ve barely touched in months.16. Where do you take your motivation from?An inner drive… I can’t not write. I don’t really know where it comes from, I just have to write.17. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?Lately? Maybe 100 words a day…? I’m in a slump and struggling to crawl my way out of it. I don’t really keep track of how many words I write a day anyway though. I just write until I hit a block. Could be four words could be 1000, I never know.23. Single or multi POV, and why?Single. I find multi POV to be disorienting as a writer and as a reader sometimes being in too many heads drags me out of the story. That said I’ve read good books that were multi POV.24. Poetry or prose, and why?Oh goodness, uh… I like both but can’t write Poetry very well (at least in my opinion, others tend to disagree) prose is fun for me, I like getting flowery and testing my vocabulary skills.25. Linear or non-linear, and why?Both and here’s why. Writing Linear is great. You follow the story as it progresses. Until you get stuck for 6 months because you can’t get through the current scene because you don’t really want to write it and want to skip ahead to X scene. Non Linear is great too. You get to write all the fun stuff first. You get to explore outside your plot line a bit more. You can also get super lost and forget the plot.26. Standalone or series, and why?Ahahaha I’ve tried so hard to keep books simple. They almost always turn into big long series… I don’t know how or why.30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.Oh no… uh… well it’s less a line and more just a word and its description… “Marfing: the combination of the words Muffled and Barking, used to describe a sound, such as a small dog being stuffed inside a coat and barking to be let out.”33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?Sometimes I do. Other times I can’t handle having it on, usually if I have to really think hard about something.34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?Both as I said above, I have both a physical notebook on hand at all times and my phone for accessing docs and evernote.40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?Both! I write both. My Fanfic.Net account is LadyAugust (I’m on mobile and can’t link right now but as soon as I’m on my laptop I can message you a link.) I currently have 2 stories for the same video game, with lots of added in extras and plenty of chapters if you’re bored. The second one is still in progress, and there’s another to be finished after that one…41. How many stories do you work on at one time?Too many. I have so many ideas buzzing around my brain… I believe the current total of stories I’ve developed and begun writing on is up to at least 10 now. But I’m focusing on 3 currently (not counting fanfics)52. How did writing change you?Writing gave me an outlet. It made me conscious of issues and personal microaggressions. It showed me that I needed to be better.53. What does writing mean to you?Writing has always been a part of me. I was 4 when I started telling stories. I was in 7th grade when I started writing everyday. I never stopped. My mom says it runs in the family. She’s an artist and writes sometimes, my grandmother is an artist and makes quilts… writing also gave me a safe place to deal with my parent’s divorce, it let me deal with my anger and grief, it helped me understand my anxiety, it helped me vent my pain. Writing is my safe haven. Without it I’d be a mess… well more of a mess…54. Any writing advice you want to share?Writing is hard. It’s easy to look up tips and be discouraged or to change how you write thing… but honestly all writing advice is subjective, and it’s all just opinions. Seriously, I used to get so worried sick over including things or not including things, I used to worry about everything I wrote… now I take writing advice less seriously. Some is good, tips on how to write characters you may not be used to writing like Writing With Color here on tumblr, but those “never use said” or “no one smirks in real life” tips can go burn in the garbage fires they came out of imho. But that’s just my two cents.Whew, that was a lot… thanks again for the ask!

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