#I HATE THIS. THIS IS SO EVIL. I AM SO SAD.

[eerna]

honestly Noragami deserves some kind of an award for being the most intense downward spiral of "it can't get any worse than THIS, right???" I've ever read. I haven't known peace since Kazuma did that stupid spell on Yukine and it's only gone downwards from there

#we're on the FINAL CHAPTER. like even if it is twice the length of an usual chapter it is still the LAST ONE. #and THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIGGIN WORSE. #isn't the final chapter supposed to WIND THINGS DOWN and DEAL THE FINAL BLOW TO THE VILLAIN and then be DEDICATED TO WHERE ARE THEY NOW #so WHY are we doing THIS then. #noragami liveblog #noragami spoilers #like 10000 times over the past 9 years i've made the ''adachitoka when i said i wanted X to happen i didn't mean it like THIS'' joke and it #just keeps. happening again. yatori meets again after half a decade and it's only so that she can be MURDERED IN FRONT OF HIM #WHILE HE IS SCREAMING AND BLAMING HIMSELF AND THINKING ABOUT SAKURA AND HOW HE GOT HER KILLED TOO #YUKINE WATCHED IT HAPPEN BUT COULD ONLY BARK IN PAIN #and not only that. the GODS ARE KILLING PEOPLE THE SHINKI ARE STINGING THEIR MASTERS LEFT AND RIGHT #I HATE THIS. THIS IS SO EVIL. I AM SO SAD. #anyway hiyori better be fake dead. this better not be happening. idc if her return is unrealistic i dont CARE she CANNOT DIE

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

#before i maybe get yelled at: #1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even #though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism #2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them #3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have #encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in #nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally #about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person. #4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces #and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too. #5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided #tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla #6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things. #7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl #i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know? #8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this #nyarla dni #<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks

[sluttywizardcowboy]

#sorry i deleted the original i hated it #need to digitally color more often but i only have ibis and i am NOT paying for procreate on my phone #i have it on ipad and No Stylus ough #anyways IM SO SAD #look at them #resident evil #my art #william birkin #sherry birkin #resident evil 2 #resident evil 2 remake

[crystalkleure]

Characters who are intentionally written to be horrible little bastard goblins: ✔️ Hilarious

Characters who are supposed to be viewed as being A Good Person in spite of them continuously doing horrible asshole things that would make any reasonable person fucking punch them IRL: ❌ Infuriating

#.It speaks #About me yo #I HATE THAT SECOND THING SO MUCH #INTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOVED. UNINTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOATHED. #The Goody Two Shoes Good Guy Protag @ their sad friend: ''Hey buddy! I am going to shame you for Not Being Happy!'' #''Don't you understand that that's rude to all of your friends? You're killing all of our vibes! It Is Morally Bad To Be Visibly Sad!'' #All of the other characters: ''Yeah!! What protag said!! We love you and forgive you @ Sad Guy but you need to stop being sad Right Now!'' #And Everybody Claps #Literal worst thing in the world. #Like it is DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT if the protag doing something like this has ACTUAL ACCURATE CONSEQUENCES #Like. Say. Sad Guy bottling too much up for too long and then eventually finally exploding in protag's face. #[And NOT being portrayed as Evil for doing so. Might be SEEN as evil by the protag but Is Not Narratively The Bad Guy For It.] #THAT does not bother me. Fuck yeah Sad Guy tell the emotionally abusive fuck and all their flying monkeys to eat shit. #BUT IF THE LITERAL ABUSED CHARACTER TRYING TO STAND UP FOR THEMSELF MAKES THEM THE VILLAIN OF THE WEEK/SEASON I'M MAD #You know? #Protag who THINKS they are Morally Infallible but is actually perfectly human and wrong/does bad shit sometimes: ✔️✔️✔️ #Protag who is a total penis and their dickheadery WINS every time it causes conflict; the /conflict/ is portrayed as unreasonable: ❌❌❌ #If you know me really well you can probably guess which specific two characters I am talking about #I hate both of those little bastards so much

[daylightfultay]

.

#the boys are really mean to me and it makes me so sad #like i am rlly empathetic i hate ppl who call themselves that too but i genuinely am so i cant even hate them #i just want everyone to like me i hate being hated so much #like i feel misunderstood bc im genuinely i dont think im a bad person i dont wake up and try to make peoples life bad #i want everyone to have a good life #but they just look at me and think oh she doesnt talk to a lot of people she must be evil #like oh shes plotting smth #and everytime smth happens im the first person they blame #and i just feel so alone at school no one has my back except this one boy #and the only reason why he defends me is bc hes related to my cousin #and im glad he does bc hes like scary so ppl listen to him but he only does it bc he feels like he owes it to me #i just dont like being there like 8 hours a day in a class full of people who dont even care abt me enough to know me #hating me when they've never even had a conversation with me #like how can u talk bad abt a girl u dont even know and just assume the worst??

[crucifixcavity]

the flashbacks are relentless

#don’t reblog👎 #keep getting random flashbacks about my dad should I kill myself or should I kill my self #everything is so hazy. but it’s like I can feel him way too close to me!!!!!!! #I am wine drunk and so sad and I’m becoming an alcoholic #everything is tooooo much #I was THIRTEEN the last time he assaulted me #I can’t believe I blocked it all out even at that age. #I get why now when he found my journal that I left at his house he freaked out on me and raged at me saying I’m evil and narcissistic #for hating him so much #I wish he would die already #none of this is fair and he just gets to keep living his life #and the whole family thinks IM the crazy one #i wish I could take him to court and ruin his life forever #🍎diary

[pixel-bloom]

Yeah my sims are happily in love, despite everything. What of it? 🥲

#if you're new around here #all three of my gen4/5 couples have been through some garbage #and only 1/3 processed it correctly #the first two couples still have shit to sort #bleeeh it's been really hard playing this legacy bc ant/lucia fight constantly (they have a love/hate thing) #and gnat and max are still hurt by each other so they're sad most of the time #and don't get me started on the fears LOL i need to mod my game more to get rid of all these emotions and fears #anyone else's evil sims going off the rails more?! mine are killing their relationships #gen 4 #gen 5 #ant #lucia #gnat #max #ladybug #theo #last ramble...the shot of theo and ladybug is full circle and i am not ok #they used to meet at the pier and smoke and its where they both confessed they liked eachother #but they decided to just be friends AND T_T!! FULL CIRCLE

[lord-squiggletits]

The hard thing about liking Getaway as a character is that people are like "why are you mad people hate him, he's literally evil in the text" and it's like. Yeah I get that and I ENJOYED the way he was shown in MTMTE, the problem is that in LL his character got hit with villain degradation/idiot ball and so my beef with his portrayal is that I think it's shitty and underwhelming writing.

But like, it's really hard to debate about that because canon is the basis of the entire analysis, and if your contention of canon is basically "he would not fucking say/do that" then that means a near-complete rejection of canon in favor of headcanon and you can't really "debate" personal opinions in that way.

Anyways, LL Getaway sucked and the most charitable interpretation one could have of how he was written is that he was a victim of JRO needing to wrap up a billion plotlines at once and getting shafted because the mutiny plotline had to resolve really fast. Which is a flaw of LL and a bunch of its characters/plots in general, not me being an "apologist."

#squiggposting #i am a bit salty about it still lol #getaway literally went from a delightfully evil bastard to like #the most dumb motherfucker who's also simultaneously THE MOST EVIL EVAR #also hot take but i'm gonna say it #part of the reason getaway gets a comical amount of hate even from 'villain enjoyers' #is literally just bc he was mean to poor sweet cinnamon roll TG and got in the way of c y ga/te #shippers will be assholes to any character who is mean to their faves or breaks up their chosen OTP #but also. ll getaway just sucked and was boring and underwhelming and contrived #you can make someone evil but at least make him interesting and smart ffs like goodness lmao #also no offense bc people are gonna be like 'the point of the story isn't karmic justice for everyone' #but it's still kinda rich that ppl are fine with meg being on the LL but god help you if your name is getaway #have fun getting hit with the idiot ball by the writer. who also made M a sad uwu little man #negativity #i'm salty lol might look back at this and cringe but maybe not #it's just a problem with LL in general that everything is so rushed #and that JRO has always had certain problems with writing protagonist centered morality at least a little bit #like idk the vibes i was getting of 'getaway is literally THE WORST EVER and EVIL and STUPID and DELUSIONAL' #as i read were really weird and intrusive and uncomfortable

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[arthur-r]

unfortunate set of notifications

#(this is talking about saturday not friday it says tomorrow cause it just turned midnight) #i got really sick and anxious today and i didn’t know why but my mom blames my birthday #so wish me luck 👍 i’m gonna be eighteen years old #(for anybody who doesn’t know i don’t TEND to celebrate my april birthday i do my october birthday instead #but saturday is the one where i actually turn eighteen.) #i will actually be having a sleepover on friday night though which isn’t about my birthday but will coincide #but other than that i’m just working a lot. and taking a test. and it will be whatever #idk wish me luck. i am just feeling sick and strange and weird but i’ll figure it out #IN THEORY I AM EXCITED FOR MY BIRTHDAY #like i don’t want it to be this sad evil day that i hate. and it’s not #it’s just so much worse to have a bad day when it’s your birthday. and i often have bad days. so that’s all that the problem is #so whatever. i will hopefully have a good day that day and then it will be a good day. i just like to have a failsafe so it doesn’t have to #count as my birthday if it doesn’t go good. like yeah it’s my birthday but no it isn’t. not until i say it is #idk i don’t make the rules except for i do. ANYWAY goodnight #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[milo-is-rambling]

Need to stop making jokes about my grief and depression but then literally who would I be anymore.

#idk who I am if I’m not constantly making fun of myself and all my problems #and usually not dealing with them #my sadness is like a bandaid that I refuse to rip off and instead I’m just peeling it agonizingly slow and it’s also somehow peeling all of #the skin off my body at the same time and I become a live wound of a person #I wish I had my shit together enough for college or living on my own bs sometimes I think the only thing that would fix me would be picking #me up and putting me in a different state somewhere up north closer to my friends and like that’s all I need to fix me #if I wasn’t so painfully isolated life would be stellar but i can’t ever bring myself to reach out and I’m afraid constantly that everyone #hates me and is wishing I’d stop bothering them wahhhhhhhh I hate it !!!! my brain is evil!!!! I hate that it’s attatched to the rest of me! #my mom will be like. you don’t take responsibility for yourself and your feelings and you wallow in them and you blame your brain instead of #fixing yourself and I’ll be like. 😐. so how do I stop? and she’s like. idk. #I feel like my head is on fire I’m pausing my tolerance break tonight I’m gonna go get some mystery weed from my moms weed tray and pack a #bowl and probably cry some more #why did the year and a half dad death anniversary have to happen on such a humid day I just wanna walk thru the woods and cry and smoke

[squishious]

list of my grievances in the tags bc this has been the most miserable week ever and the only person i could conceivably complain to is also going through it

#starting strong with at least 2 midterms/papers due every fucking day except monday #moving on to daylight savings happening when i am already sleep deprived as fuck #and then university wide power and internet outage <3 #also general malaise and sad vy the time we reach halfway through the week #fucking evil [redacted] midterm #where i study my ass of and flop so bad #in a truly unifixable way i fear #was supposed to be my fun class to goddammit #and its so fucking windy today which i actually hate #gale wind warnibg = cannot sit outside in the sun and forget abt wverything #THEN #i go to cafe for a pick me up and fi ish bibliography #and the internet will not connect no matter what i do #AND #friend is coming to visit me tmrw but its actually just to pic up an ikon pass and she isnt even gonna hang out for a bit #no fault of her own but #its annyoninh on top of all this :( #genuinly the grade thibg is fucking with me so much i had to have done TERRIBLY to go from a 100 to what i have noe #and i thought i did bad but like. not thag bad #anyways i simply want to curl up into a ball and ignore everything for a couple days but ! i cannot #bc paper due tonight and exam tmrw and then saturday i have to go see my brothers performance which #notmally would be rlly fun #but after this week i want to dissapear for a day #and then sunday rehearsal #and then wednesday midtemr again ! fuck me !! #and then friday quiz but at least its onlinr #and then stayrday holi then break which like fun but also means going home #and im already miserable #so not twlling anyone abt grade flop And generally being home = ultra misesable???? #squish speaks

[sunhatllama]

I'm dying in American right now

#why cant i watch re death island in theatres #im so sad #im going to be depressed until i can get my hands on the dvd #😭😭😭 #what am i gonna do with myself #just one more reason i hate living here #resident evil #resident evil death island #re death island

[aemiron-main]

i was originally going to make this with younger henry vs older henry but i feel like we could always use more virginia hate content <3

#stranger things #byler #st shitposts #and yes yes ik I’ve talked abt none of the characters being inherently born evil but yk. it’s the meme format soooo #sorry but child henry? that’s just a little guy. #it does Not excuse any of his future actions #i would like to see older henry ripped to shreds by wild dogs for what he did to will #at the same time. i am so sad about younger henry today #the meme applies to older Henry in viginias spot but I am on the vriignia hate train 2day so she got out there instead

[solarisposting]

guess who's back in their compassion fatigue for library patrons era!!!

#HELLO IT'S ME SIGMUND FRAUD! #i've had one other Episode like this since being in libraries and it's so exhausting #and it makes me hate myself! i suddenly can't DEAL when interacting w/people who have mental illnesses that manifest in this that or the #or the other way. i stop caring about patrons' sob stories or hard days or legitimate crises or whatever else #i'm just angry all the goddamn time about being a brick wall for others' rage and sadness and issues when i'm a fucking book person who also #who also helps with technology. i cant handle my own fucking mental illnesses on any given day sometimes and absorbing others' hardships #when i'm not trained not equipped not PAID ENOUGH and having my own spirals and episodes...it is SO MUVH #i feel evil and heartless when i suddenly stop caring and am actively angry at patrons #this isn't even a carer type of work that i do! #and yet compassion fatigue in librarians is apparently super common. we're like retail workers minus patrons spending money at our #at our establishments. people are extra mean because of the tax dollars shit and the whole 'fulfilling gaps in social services' shit #losing my compassion for others a second time os fucking terrible. i don't want to he so angry and hateful. i don't wamt to be so checked #so checked out of others' suffering if the others are in front of me. it feels gross #and as ashamed as i am to say it? it weighs on me and makes me feel WORSE and so SELFISH #ann with an ie #and i am still tuned into global issues and care and am horrified #but things and people in front of me just...cease to register

[perenlop]

havent read tbc but i think its so funny how shadowsight seems to be popular to the people i follow just because “the narrative treats him like all the female characters do so hes an honorary girlie”

#and by ''how the narrative treats him'' they mean badly ofc bc apparently everything is blamed on him repeatedly #w no one realizing that he was manipulated and the narrative being retconned just to say hes actually a screwup who was never good #and everything genuinely is his fault bc why else would he listen to an evil cat in starclan #like. damn that really is something theyd do to a female protagonist #also the only ppl ive seen hating on him do it for boring and stupid reasons so im inclined to like him out of spite #bc ''he has an ILLEGAL name in this universe. hes a TIGERDOVE kid. hes a FANFICTION made REAL'' ok well hes the most interesting one. so. #not like anything he actually does in the narrative it seems. plus the other two protags sound boring as hell #''oh im sad i couldnt get w the boy i like. now i love another guy but its forbidden. oh and my leaders possessed ig.'' #''SIGH i wish people didnt compare me to my cringe OUTSIDER dad. also i see ghosts and i hate this its cringe'' #''also my sister is a legacy name after an important character from the previous arc but who cares'' #and then shadowsight is like ''since i was an infant i had excruiciating seizures and visions. i threw myself into a river as a sacrifice #i am suicidal. i got manipulated by an evil man into possessing my great uncle. everyone outwardly wants me dead for it #everyone blames all of their problems on me and expects a lot from me. i got demoted for it. my only support is my close family #and even then they have to suffer the extreme guilt of not being able to help me with literally anything #also the antagonist wants my mom dead for my own existence. i have lost so much #i am literally blamed by god for everything thats happened to be despite being used by them since i was an infant and thats where my story e #ends'' #like fuck. yeah he is an honorary girlie to me. i barely know u man but like i support u. cmere be my pet cat #echoed voice