“I don’t understand Hannibal Lecter” k well if the love of my life tracked me down in europe and smiled at me in front of my favorite painting and said he wanted to understand me and that he defined past vs future as before me and after me and talked about how we couldn’t survive separation and then after I saved both of our lives from insane ass mason verger and I carried him bridal style through the cold winter night only for the next day to have him BREAK UP WITH ME and say he didn’t want to think about me anymore…yeah I'd turn myself in too.
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i think one of the reasons i love mizumono is bc of will graham's evident shock/disbelief at the thought that hannibal couldn't leave without him. that hannibal wanted him *so* bad, that he would not do what was best for his self preservation, to leave..because he couldn't live without Will.
It feels to me like this moment of realizing how enmeshed they are. Will isn't acting much out of self-preservation either at this point; he has pointed a gun at Hannibal many times and has not killed him
I don't think Will truly internalized how much Hannibal felt attached to him
Which brings me to the real reason I love it: Did Will even think of himself as someone possible to feel attached to? Is this confession, by a man covered in his friend's blood, the first time Will has been told that he was a necessary part of someone else's life, other than his dogs?
No one else really treats him that way--he is a tool, a "professional curiosity". He's something they see value in, and only in his exterior self, not his true self.
How much of the reason he hides his true self is fear of something he wants to view as morally abhorrent, and how much is fear of truly never being able to be loved?
is there fear of embracing the monster and *being* loved? is the unfamiliarity of being honest to himself and being recognized and being loved a pain he isn't ready for?
The absolute heartbreak of realizing he just betrayed the one person who saw him for who he was, and wanted him
I think that's why he moans and leans into being gutted. The connection is worth it, and also, this form of connection is what he thinks he deserves
He only starts objecting when Hannibal hurts Abigail--she deserves better than that, and he is also in extreme pain losing someone he feels attached to, someone he feels responsible for. Someone whose survival means Will does not need to be wanted or loved or real to who he is, Will can be needed and benefit others.
That's the way to hurt Will, through hurting the ones he loves
Eliminating them is a necessary step, though, to getting him to embrace who he is. As long as he feels he can maintain his façade and still be useful to others, he will be somewhat tethered to the realm of "everyone else", of following their morals.
Of never being wanted, always the stranger, but always being needed--always the sacrifice.
"Did you think you could change me, the way I changed you?"
"I already did"
I think in being gutted he does gain some like....satisfaction in finding out how deeply Hannibal is capable of feeling. How Will made him feel that way.
I feel like by gutting the one he loves, Hannibal finally slices through the veil, through his person suit. He betrays the intensity of love he has for Will by demonstrating the intensity of pain.
"I let you see me. Know me."
"I gave you a rare gift, but you didn't want it."
"Didn't I?"
That's why it has always felt like this intensely loving moment to me--the pain and devastating sense of betrayal wouldn't exist without that love. And Will is finally the person able to force Hannibal to show those feelings.
He's not a tool, or an oddity to Hannibal. Will is so much more than that. Hannibal wants to believe he just finds Will "intriguing", but it's not true. He is head over heels in love, and heartbroken, for this man. For what he sees exists deeply in the core of who this man is--not just for who he pretends to be.
I love them so much.
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I hate kinning Will at times because one time I had a vivid dream where Hannibal killed my family, and just as he was swinging the weapon at me, I woke up in a sweat. As scared as I was, after my nerves settled down, I felt a sense of longing in my chest. As I looked out the window at the moon, I couldn’t help but feel a deeper connection to him in that moment, and despite the dream I had prior, I still wish I could’ve dreamed of him again, even if made me scared in return. Lol. Anyone else?
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>> welcome !!
>> you can call me Will. I use he/him only, please don't use any other pronouns thank you. bodily age i will not say for privacy reasons, source age 32. strictly mlm.
>> i'm a fictionkin
🎧🎵: poor man's poison, fiona apple, the smiths, siouxsie and the banshees, sex pistols, vera lynn, malice mizer/moi dix mois, lacrimas profundere, some alex g ♡
♥️: fishing, dogs, learning new things, forensics, movies, art and crafts, the outdoors/being outside, cryptozoology and more, talking excessively about my source and source memories
💔: when people assume they know everything about me because I'm Will, eye contact, meat, internet arguments, tall people /j, the media, groups and being part of groups, migraines
taken or single: taken! i have my very own Lecter, please don't flirt just because you're attracted to my kin, thank you.
some resources for you to better understand me: [1] [2] [3]
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ik ik ppl always say “Alana acted like a reasonable person” but it still rubs me the wrong way the way she pitied will even before he was spiraling and in jail. She claimed to be his friend but never wanted to have a convo alone with him before s1 and admits to have “professional curiosity”. Also, when Will gets out of jail, she doesn’t check on him, oh no, she just want to make sure hannibal is safe for her. ik hannibal was her mentor before she met Will, but she never even stopped to be even a little skeptical of hannibal, especially not taking into consideration that Will was always right about the killers. not until he and Will started getting closer in s2 and then it was a problem for her.
honestly the one person who actually treated him most like a friend was Bev and I don’t think she gets enough credit.
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