#HOW WHEN TWEEK REPLACED KENNY KYLE WOULD BE THE ONE TO CALM HIM DOWN

[justvibingwhilecrying]

They should have a Twyle focused episode

#my art #sp Twyle #tweek tweak #kyle broflovski #south park #IT MAKES ME SICCKKK #HOW WHEN TWEEK REPLACED KENNY KYLE WOULD BE THE ONE TO CALM HIM DOWN #AND WHEN THEY WERE CHOOSING A REPLACEMENT WHEN TWEEK WAS BRIUGHT UP KYLE WAS LIKE TWEEK HAS ALOT OF QUALITIES I LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND #genuinely I almost threw up drawing this cuz I was so excited to draw them again #I’ve been meaning to since Friday but I never had the motivation so I would just look at Twyle fanart and just scream and stim over how - #-much I love them

[annzy-bananzys-corner]

Truth or Dare: Coming Out Edition (Chapter 5: Time to Come Out)

Read on AO3 | Donate to my Ko-Fi if you like | Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6

A South Park Fanfiction ft. Creek, Style, and Bunny

Current time.

Tweek took a deep breath, stopping just before the room with all the beds. He had a little trouble finding Stan in Token’s giant house at first, but all he had to do was follow the sound of someone crying.

Swallowing nervously, Tweek pushed the door open, stepping quietly in and closing the door behind him. “Stan?”

The crying went quiet for a moment, replaced by sniffling. “... Tweek?”

“Yeah, it’s me, man.” He walked further in. Stan wasn’t in sight, but he quickly found him behind the third bed on the left, sitting with his back against the wall and his legs pulled up to his chest. “Can we talk?”

Stan exhaled quickly, shaking his head and closing his eyes in disbelief. “About what? I already embarrassed myself.”

“Well,” Tweek sat down across from him, his legs crossed as he stared at the floor. He chewed at his lip as he tried to think of what to say. God, he’d had this plan in his head, but of course it decided to leave his brain when he actually got there. “Look, I’m not going to pretend I know everything you’re going through right now. I never had to worry about “coming out” - hell everyone else knew I was gay before I did!”

Stan actually laughed a little at that, rubbing at his eyes with a sigh. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Tweek smiled a little, rubbing at the back of his neck as he continued. “So, yeah, I don’t know what that’s like. But I do know fear .” He looked up at Stan, glad to see he had his attention. “I’ve been afraid of everything my whole life, man. And it fucking sucks. You lie awake at night, thinking of everything that terrifies you, and it squeezes your chest like it wants to break your ribs and pierce your organs!” Tweek stopped and took a breath, since his own chest was starting to feel tight. “And... it feels like there’s no way out. Like everything’s out to get you.”

Stan curled up a bit more, sniffling as he looked at the floor between them. “That’s exactly what it’s like.”

“I know,” Tweek scooted closer, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “But it doesn’t have to be like that forever.” He took his hand away, giving a small smile. “This goes without saying, but I’ve improved a lot since me and Craig got together. I feel more in control, I only have panic attacks like, four times a year now. Sure, sometimes my fears still get the better of me, but I’m happier.”

“That’s great, man.” Stan smiled, wiping away the last of his stray tears.

“It is.” Tweek agreed, his smile going away as he added, “but Craig can’t take all the credit - I had to decide that enough was enough. I had to decide that I was tired of being afraid all the time, and you know the scariest thing of all?”

“What?” Stan asked, completely entranced.  

“I had to accept that I needed help,” Tweek finished. He looked down, recounting, “I had to learn how to trust other people to help me. I had to open up, even if I was terrified while I did. No one else could make me do that, I had to do that.” He looked back up, staring right into Stan’s wet eyes. “Just like you have to if you want to get over this.”

Stan took a deep breath, his eyes turning glassy as he stared into space. Tweek… he knew what he was talking about. And Stan was tired; he was tired of being afraid. Afraid of judging peers, of his own feelings, of change. He’d wanted to talk with someone about all of this for so long now, but his fear always made him shut up. “How did you… make yourself talk, even though you were scared?”

“Honestly, it took a few tries.” Tweek laughed a little, shaking his head. “And you don’t have to talk about everything right away. It… it helps if you have someone patient to talk to. Like a psychologist.”

“I can’t do that.” Stan felt his familiar fear seeping into his bones. “I’m not ready for… that.”

“It’s really not that bad,” Tweek tried to convince him. “It was scary the first few times, but… I’m glad I went to a real counselor.”

“I can’t.” Stan swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’d have to tell my parents, and my dad would be a fucking asshole about it.”

“Right, right…” Tweek sighed. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s okay.” Stan took a breath, looking up at the tired blonde. Someone patient to talk to… or, maybe several people? Kenny was always willing to listen, and Butters was always full of sympathy and random bits of wisdom. And Kyle… he could be harsh, but he’d always tell him what he truly thought. About anything, even difficult things. “Tweek… thank you.” He let go of his legs, letting them lay flat on the ground as he wiped at his eyes again. “I think I know what I want to do now.”

“Yeah?” Tweek smiled, moving to stand up. “That’s great, man.”

Stan smiled a little, using the bed to help him stand. “I… I want to tell Kyle everything. Even if it scares me.”

“Everything?” Tweek’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Yes.” Stan looked up at him. For the first time in a long time, he felt sure about something. “It’s like you said - I’m so tired of being afraid. And Kyle… he’s at the center of it.”

“Geez.” Tweek rubbed at his forearm. “That sucks.”

Stan snorted. “Tell me about it. Ugh,” he rubbed a hand down his face. “Now I have to face everyone…”

“I’ll help,” Tweek offered. “Or try to, anyway. Clyde can be a handful.”

“They’re all a handful,” Stan scoffed, heading towards the door. “But really, what am I afraid of? I already outed myself to everyone. Might as well embrace it.”

~~~~~

“Do you think Stan hates me now!?” Butters blubbered, clinging desperately to Kenny’s shirt as the boy rubbed his back comfortingly. “Oh, of course he does! I can’t believe I just blurted that out!”

“I can’t believe you two kissed at all,” Kenny grumbled. The other guys were busy playing Super Smash Brothers, but he could feel Kyle and Timmy’s eyes on him. “Look, Buttercup, Stan’s going through a lot right now. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.”

Butters sniffled more and buried his face against Kenny’s shoulder. “You’re, you’re right… I’ll just apologize, and… and…!”

“And?” Kenny prompted with a whisper.

Butters swallowed, mumbling so quietly that Kenny could barely hear, “I’ll come out, too.”

Kenny’s eyes widened. He glanced over at Kyle, who quickly glanced away. “Butters, are… you sure? Your parents -”

“Aw, these guys won’t tell anyone, right?”

“Have you met Clyde?”

“Well, I don’t care anymore!” More tears started streaming down Butters’ face. “I’m so tired of, of hiding my feelings!”

“Shh,” Kenny tried soothing him, stroking his hair back and easing his head back onto his shoulder. “Okay, okay… If you really want to, of course I’m fine with it.”

Butters sniffled, smiling softly against him. “Thanks, Ken.”

Kenny smiled softly back at him before looking at the TV. He couldn’t believe all of the drama happening around him. Part of him was a little miffed that Stan had went to Butters to experiment with instead of him, and another part of him was more miffed that Butters had never told him about it. Wasn’t he supposed to be terrible at keeping secrets?? Ugh, he should calm down - Stan was going to come back eventually, and who knows what kind of state he’ll be in. He’d just forget about it. He’d already known Butters had kissed before - he’d had girlfriends in the past. He’d just… thought he had been his first male kiss, that’s all.

“Ken?” Butters whispered, looking up at him with those shiny eyes of his. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

Kenny sighed, glancing away. “What would I have to be mad at you for?”

“You know.” Butters swallowed, burying his face against Kenny’s chest. “Kissing Stan?”

Kenny chewed at his bottom lip, helpless at resisting the urge to run his fingers through that blonde tuft of hair. It was so soft, just like the boy in his lap. “No, no. I mean, unless we were dating when you kissed him.”

“No!” Butters lifted his head, staring at Ken with fresh tears in the corners of his eyes. “I would never! We kissed last year - I was trying to help him out, like you always help people out!”

“Shh, shh,” Kenny put a finger to his lips, smiling softly at him. “It was a joke. I know you’d never do something like that.”

Butters sighed in relief, rubbing at his eyes again. “Ugh. I’m gonna get dehydrated.”

“I could make you wet again~”

“Kenny!!” Butters pushed at his face, but an amused smile was worming its way onto his lips. “That’s not funny.”

“Then why are you smiling~?”

“Because you’re ridiculous!” Butters laughed, shaking his head. He leaned in for a quick kiss, but before he could he heard two sets of footsteps approaching the room. He turned to look, gasping as he saw Stan and Tweek returning.

“Hey, guys.”

The game was immediately paused as everyone turned to look at the room’s entrance. Tweek was giving a nervous smile and playing with his fingers, while Stan had a hand clasped to his opposite forearm, avoiding looking at anyone.

“Stan,” Kyle spoke up first, getting to his feet and heading over. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Stan nodded, looking over at Tweek with a small smile. “I’m feeling better.” He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before looking at everyone else. “I’m sorry I’ve been weird all night, guys. But, you know, I guess it’s time I just… say it.” He closed his eyes, taking a few breaths. He felt as if his heart was stopping. Was he really going through with this? This was insane, wasn’t it? Was he even completely sure -

He jumped a little as he felt someone take his hand. He looked over, surprised that Tweek had taken his hand and squeezed it, giving him a reassuring smile. “You can do it, Stan.”

Stan smiled back, squeezing his hand before pulling away. “Thanks, Tweek.” He turned back to the room, taking another deep breath and closing his eyes. He was ready, he was ready. He wanted to do this, he needed to do this:

“I’m bi, and fuck whatever my gender is!”

He tensed up, anticipating negativity to be given back to him. But, of course, everyone present was more or less supportive.

“Woohoo!” Kenny pumped a fist in the air. “I hear that!”

“Duh.” Jimmy rolled his eyes.

“You kinda already said that earlier,” Token pointed out.

“Timmy,” he joined in on rolling his eyes at how obvious it was.

“Beautiful! Amazing!” Clyde clapped fast and quick like the excited boy he was. “Inspirational!!”

“Took ya long enough,” Craig huffed.

“Stan,” Kyle just smiled, pulling him into a hug. “That took a lot of courage. I’m proud of you.”

Tears once again started falling from his eyes. He sniffled and hugged Kyle tight, smiling wide. “Thanks, Kyle. That means a lot.” He pulled away, staring into his eyes. “And I promise to talk with you more, about… everything.”  

“Everything?” Kyle seemed confused. “Didn’t you just say everything?”

“No, not really,” Stan replied quietly, glancing away again. “Later, I promise.”

“I’m really happy for you, Stan!” Butters exclaimed, having gotten to his feet halfway through. “But I’m still really sorry for what I said earlier -”

“Yeah, that sucked,” Stan agreed, tugging Kyle over to the center of the couch. “But it’s cool now, man.”

“It’s not cool!” Butters swallowed, staring down at the ground. “So, to… to make up for it, I have an announcement!” He looked over at Kenny, who simply gave him two thumbs up and a calm smile. “I’m bi, too!” Butters exclaimed happily, placing his hands on his hips. “And Kenny and I are dating!”

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Jimmy mumbled.

“YES!” Clyde leaped to his feet, jumping up and down. “I called it! I so called it! Jimmy, you owe me twenty bucks!!”

“But Kenny’s a t-total manwhore!” Jimmy argued, crossing his arms. “I ref-fuse to believe this.”

“Hey!” Butters interrupted, scowling at them. “Kenny’s a great boyfriend!!”

“Yeah,” Kyle spoke up for his friend. “I mean, okay, when he’s not dating anyone, anything’s fair game, but when he is dating someone - he’s loyal.”

“Aww,” Kenny held his hands over his heart, positively touched. “Thanks, guys!”

Butters huffed and went back over to cuddle up to Kenny, sticking his tongue out at Jimmy.

Kenny chuckled and kissed Butters’ forehead, explaining further, “We started dating two weeks after Suzette broke up with him.”

“Kenny’s great at comforting people,” Butters complimented, smiling brightly up at him. They held gazes for a moment until Butters frowned, looking back at the others. “But you guys can’t tell anyone, all right? Oh, my parents would kill me if they knew…”

“That’s an exaggeration, right??” Tweek asked, starting to sweat nervously. “Oh, god!”

“We’re not sure.” Kenny sighed, looking down at the ground. “Just, please… don’t tell anyone.” He coughed the name “Clyde” under his breath.

“Hey!” Clyde whined. “I’m not gonna tell anybody!!”

“And if he does, I’ll beat him up,” Craig promised.

“Ditto,” Token promised.

“Timmy!” he spoke up, finishing with his monitor, “And I’ll run him over.”

“Wow, what great friends I have!” Clyde throws up his hands in exasperation.

“You l-love us,” Jimmy teased.

Clyde just continued to grumble. Until Token unpaused their video game, then he screeched and scrambled for his controller. “I wasn’t ready! No one attack me yet!!”

#south park #sp creek #sp style #sp bunny #sp fanfiction #south park fanfiction #ToD:COE

[jewpacabruhs]

“You look really tired” or “You think you’re funny” for Kyman 👊🤧

Kyle hates the part of himself that cares deeply for Cartman. Because he does care about him; he can admit that now that he’s matured and all but abandoned his steadfast conviction that he must despise him, though he definitely resents the bastard. Regardless of it all, he knows deep down that even if he’s not fond of him, he’ll always want the best for him, and he’ll always hope to one day see him become someone happier, healthier, and maybe even some semblance of normal, and it pisses him the hell off, because no one deserves to be stuck caring about the well-being and future of someone like Cartman. He supposes someone has to keep an eye on him - he just wishes he didn’t feel bad for him.

But more than anything, it bothers him that Cartman knows he cares about him, and has made a hobby out of exploiting his sympathetic nature and taking advantage of his unending desire to see Cartman evolve into a better person. It upsets him that time and time again, he gives the asshole the benefit of the doubt, and time and time again, Cartman makes him regret it.

So when Cartman sits down for lunch on Monday after having ghosted them all weekend, looking absolutely awful, like he hadn’t slept in a week and had spent that time crying, too, Kyle doesn’t immediately ask what’s up, because he’s sure it’s a ploy for attention and pity, and he won’t give Cartman what he wants this time.

The other boys follow suit; they’re all tired of Cartman’s dramatics, too.

It’s only after Cartman doesn’t prod them to inquire about his state, doesn’t even touch his meal, which is absolutely unheard of, that Kyle gives in and says, “Cartman, is everything okay? You look really tired.”

Craig and Token glare at him, clearly irritated with him for engaging, and Craig goes so far as to gather up his lunch and tug Tweek away by the hand, but Kenny glances over from the nudie mag he’d been looking at with Clyde, peering worriedly at Cartman. Stan’s munching away at a salad - Wendy’s got him eating vegan again, and Stan’s decided salads are his safest option - but he’s watching Cartman, too. It’s some consolation to Kyle that he’s not the only one who does care about Cartman, though Stan and Kenny have frequently criticized him for being too invested.

“Had a bad night,” Cartman says quietly, and his voice is so small and sincere that Kyle’s instantly sympathetic. If this is another scheme, he’ll kick his ass, but by the looks of it, for once in his life, Cartman’s serious in his misery.

“You wanna talk about it, big boy?” Kenny asks him from where he’s sitting to his right. He’s handed Clyde the magazine so he can focus wholeheartedly on Cartman, though Kyle catches the way he’s eyeing Cartman’s untouched chicken nuggets. 

Cartman does, too, apparently. “No,” he replies moodily, before pushing his tray towards Kenny. “You can have them. I’m not hungry.”

Kenny actually hesitates before digging in, apprehensive where he wouldn’t usually be, because of Cartman’s bizarre behavior, but he starts chowing down quickly enough.

No one knows what to say, so they carry on with their lunches, though there’s an air of awkwardness due to Cartman’s mopey presence. He’s horribly quiet; doesn’t even pitch in when Jimmy and Clyde start arguing about early 2000s boy bands, though he’d typically jump right into a conversation like that with some obnoxious spiel about NSYNC’s superiority.

Kyle eats his sandwich solemnly and watches him out of the corner of his eye, even as Stan shows him a series of dumb memes mixed with cute animal videos; the usual lunch procedure. 

By the time the bell rings and everyone stands to go, Cartman’s demeanor hasn’t changed, and he remains seated as the lunch room begins to clear out. Kyle starts to leave with Token to their AP Bio class - but then he stops and looks at Cartman, and something compels him to stay with him. “I’ll catch up with you,” he tells Token, who frowns a little, searching his face briefly, before simply saying, “Okay, dude,” and taking off.

Kyle sits down at the table, straddling the bench. Cartman’s slumped over, head in his hands, but Kyle’s weight makes the seat squeak, and he glances up. “What the hell do you want?” he asks, and his pouty tone is familiar, but so much more legitimately dejected than Kyle’s used to. He’s even got tears in his eyes; real ones, not performative ones.

“What’s going on with you, Cartman?”

The fat boy heaves a sigh, and Kyle sees him fiddling with his hands in his lap, which is something he only ever does when he’s forced to open up and be vulnerable. If this were anyone else, Kyle would put a reassuring hand on his back or arm, something to calm his nerves and show him that he was there for him, but it’s Cartman, and frankly, Kyle’s not willing to let him have that yet. 

Finally, inaudibly, Cartman says, “Ralphie died.”

“Oh,” Kyle says. Ralphie was a sickly stray cat Cartman had been trying to nurse back to health for the last month. He’d named him after the Sopranos character because, according to Cartman, he kind of looked like Joe Pantoliano. That had sparked an argument with Kenny, who thought Pantoliano looked more like a French bulldog than anything (”But he’s Italian!” Cartman had yelled, as if that meant something). Then Kyle had pitched in that it was rude to compare people to pets, which upset Stan, who thought any human should be honored to be likened to an animal. 

Cartman had been excessively lovey with the cat, so Kyle’s not surprised he’s so upset. Part of him is just thankful Cartman’s capable of grieving; it’s proof he’s not soulless, like the other guys try to convince him he is. Proof he’s not a lost cause. 

“I’m sorry, Cartman,” Kyle says gently. The lunch room’s nearly empty, and the few kids left are staring at them as they exit, because their rivalry is decently infamous. The second bell rings; he’s definitely going to be late to class, and somehow, that’s not important to him right now. “I know you really liked that cat.”

Cartman heaves a sigh. “I just - after Mr. Kitty died, I - I missed her so bad, but I didn’t wanna just replace her, you know? It wouldn’t be the same. But when I found Ralphie, I thought maybe it was meant to be or whatever, ‘cause I just found him, on the street, and I thought Kitty wouldn’t feel betrayed about it ‘cause I was, like, doing an act of - of, like, charity, or whatever, you know? And I thought Ralphie was getting better, he was doing super good and he was more cuddly and, and affectionate, we really became friends- but then I came home from skewl on Friday and he wasn’t moving-” Cartman starts to cry, but he covers his eyes with his hands before Kyle can see. That’s how Kyle knows this is the most genuine sadness he’s seen out of Cartman, possibly in all the time he’s known him; his fake cry is hysterical shrieking paired with crocodile tears, but currently, he’s crying very quietly, sniffling a bit, hiding his face away, and it tugs at Kyle’s heart strings like those ASPCA commercials do.

Abandoning his desire to remain stoic for the sake of his own pride, he puts a hand on Cartman’s back. “Cartman, hey, listen - what if after school, the guys and I take you to the pound to pick out a new cat?”

“Really?”

“Yes.” He’ll have to ask them, but Stan’s always down for an opportunity to be near animals, though it might be hard to get him to leave without taking home every single creature there - and as for Kenny, he’ll tag along as long as Kyle offers to take them out to Taco Bell after.

Cartman rubs at his wet eyes with his sleeves and smiles happily. “I’d - I’d like that, Kahl.”

Then he falls on Kyle and hugs him tight, and to Kyle’s disbelief, he’s not annoyed at being embraced by him like he usually would be. Instead, he smiles and hugs him back, patting him awkwardly on the back once he doesn’t let go after a good thirty seconds. He smells like fruity shampoo and peanut butter, which is better than he usually smells, or maybe Kyle’s just not in the mood to pick out petty things to criticize for once.

Kyle’s typically sort of touch adverse, so if anyone else hugged him like this, he’d definitely be irritated by now - but somehow, Cartman holding onto him like he’s a lifeline just makes his heart swell in a way he’ll lie awake tonight worrying about.

#luciinical #my writing #kyman #mine #credit to my mom for the cat name lol #i went ay mom say cat names & it took 6 times but then we got to ralphie #& i made up some sopranos banter heh #i like writin #anyway #txt #this ones slightly shorter ima try to write less if it means actually finishing these #i jammed to finish this cuz my ma is pressuring me to do shit i hope it's ok hhhh

[uas-art]

Title: The Trials Summary: Everyone had to go through the trials to be part of Craig's gang, Tweek is no exception--no matter how much Craig wants him to be. Ships: Creek Rating: T for language

Craig should have known today was going to end poorly when Clyde spit his milk half way across the lunch table with no provocation. He barely had time to shield his sandwich and brownie with his arms from the projectile dairy. Craig glowered across the table.

"The fuck, dude?" He snapped.

Clyde hacked, earning a few firm pats on the back from Token beside him. After a moment, he lunged halfway across the table and grabbed hold of Craig's shoulders. "Craig! Craig, dude, I just--Tweek, he's part of our gang, right? Or is he still part of Stan's and just dating you?"

Craig opened his mouth then shut it. He wasn't sure. Since they started dating, Tweek had been spending more time with his gang over Stan's or any other clique, but Craig had never actually asked if he wanted to be part of his or not.

"I dunno." Craig brushed Clyde's hands off then leaned back, looking over towards the lunch line. Tweek was chatting with Scott while waiting in the line for milk. Without speaking, Craig stood. He took a few steps away from the table before he paused and turned back again. He grabbed his brownie from his tray. He didn't trust that someone--Clyde--wouldn't try to take it while he was away.

Biting into the brownie, he walked over to the end of the lunch line just as Tweek finished.

"Tweek," he said, waving his hand, cutting off whatever Scott was saying. Crumbs of brownie fell onto his jacket. Scott eyed Craig for a moment then started off towards his normal table.

"Hey, Craig. What's up?" Tweek replied.

Craig put his arm on Tweek's shoulder and gently lead him towards the his table. "Tweek, are you part of my gang?"

"W-what? I-I dunno!" Tweek gripped his tray tighter. Craig squeezed his arm reassuringly.

"I was just wondering. Clyde brought it up. If you want to be part of my gang, you can be."

"Is that--garh--ok? Do the others care? What if one of them secretly hates me?"

"No one could ever hate you, Tweek."

They returned to Craig's lunch table then. Jimmy scooted aside, making room for Tweek. Tweek nodded his thanks and sat down on the edge of the bench.  Craig, now awkwardly sandwiched between Jimmy and Tweek, struggled a moment to get his legs back under the table. Once he settled, he slapped the tabletop--as if he didn't already have everyone attention.

"Does any one object to Tweek joining the gang officially?" Craig asked.

"I figured Tweek was al-al-already part of our clique, actually." Jimmy commented. "I don't care either way. I'm always looking for another audience member to practice on!"

From across the table, Token nodded. "I don't. Tweek's cool."

Tweek started to thank Token for the compliment, but Clyde was nearly jumping in his seat and cut Tweek off. "No objections from me! So is Tweek in?"

"How do you know I don't object?" Craig said coolly around a bite of his sandwich.

Tweek jolted beside him, nearly spilling his milk. He turned to Craig with wide eyes. "Gah! Do you? Is it weird to have your boyfriend in your gang? Would I make you uncomfortable? Oh jeez!"

Craig put his hand on Tweek's shoulder.  "I'm joking. I'd rather have you in my gang than in Stan's. Those fuckers are dangerous."

Tweek relaxed. "They're not so bad."

"They nearly blew up the Whole Foods last week and flooded the gym the day before. They're dangerous and stupid." Craig cleared his throat and continued. "So, I guess, welcome officially to my gang, Tweek." He swung an arm around Tweek's shoulders and gave him a half hug.

Clyde clapped his hands together excitedly. Craig didn't liked the smile spreading across Clyde's face. Actually, an amused smile seemed to be on both Token and Jimmy's faces, too. Craig furrowed his brow, pulling Tweek closer out of a protective reflex.

"What are you smiling about?" He demanded.

Clyde made a high pitched squealing noise and bounced in his seat. "Tweek has to do The Trials. I can't believe you're making your boyfriend do The Trials!"

"The Trials?" Tweek echoed.

Craig's eyes widen. "No. No. No, no, no, no! Tweek does not have to do that! He can be part of the gang without it."

"All the rest of us had to do it!" Clyde protested. "Just because you're bumping nasties doesn't mean he can get out of it! It's only fair!"

"We are not 'bumping nasties'. We're eleven." Craig snapped. "And I said 'no'. This is my gang. I made it. It's my rules."

"Gathering your friends together to spitefully make a clique after Stan made his doesn't really count as making it, if you ask me. Besides, Clyde has a point." Token tilted his milk towards Clyde. "You made us all do it, and Clyde and I had been your friends since preschool."

"You made me go through it too." Jimmy pointed out. "Besides, I'm s-su-su--I'm positive Tweek can handle it!"

"Handle what?!" Tweek's voice pitched up an octave in panic.

Craig glared around the table. "Nothing."

"The Trials of Friendship." Token replied.

"Oh. Like that screening from when Stan, Kyle, and Cartman needed to replace Kenny for a while." Tweek relaxed a bit. "I can do that. No problem."

"See, Craig? He wants to do it!" Clyde's shit-eating smile seemed to grow even bigger. It took everything Craig had not to reach over the table and try to slap it off his friend's lips. Before he could act on his lessening resolve, Craig felt Tweek press a finger in his side.

"Yeah, Craig, let me do it." Tweek grinned at him. Craig could still see the anxiety behind the smile, but he also saw determination there, too. If there was one thing he had learned from dating Tweek, once Tweek set his mind to something, he wouldn't let it go easily.

With a defeated sigh, Craig dropped his arm from Tweek's shoulders. "Fine, alright, whatever. We'll do it tonight at Token's, since he has the biggest yard."

~~~~~~~

Tweek had been excited at the prospect of being officially part of his boyfriend's gang. He hung out with them before, gone to sleepovers and parties, but he had always felt a little bit like an outsiders there. He was their friend, sure, but he wasn't there because he was their friend. He was there because he was Craig's boyfriend.

This was his chance to change all that! Prove to Token, Clyde, and Jimmy he was just as much a member of their friend group as Craig was!

But that excitement had turned to dread the longer the day went on. What if he failed? Would they make fun of him? Would he be allowed to sit with them at lunch? Would Craig be upset with him?  Would Craig have to break up with him? Would he be shunned by all his classmates once word got out what a failure he was!? Would the town kick him out for it?!

At those last string of thoughts, Tweek accidently let out a  strangled cry in the middle of their math test. He was sent outside to finish. He tried not to meet Craig's gaze as he passed.

By the time the last bell finally rang, Tweek had ripped off several hangnails, chewed his nails down, and absentmindedly pick off a at a scab on his elbow. The teacher had made him go to the nurse when she noticed, so most of his fingers had bandaid wrapped around the tips.

It was those bandaids that he was trying hard not to nervously fiddle with as he hurried towards Token's house. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Token's home was only a block or so away from Tweak Bro's.  It made for a quick walk after Tweek had hastily finished his chores at the shop. The guard at the gate barely gave him a glance before allowing Tweek in.

Tweek accidently peeled back some of the adhesive on a bright blue bandaid on his pinky finger as he hurried up to the steps. He took a deep breath then pressed the door bell. He shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Keep it together, Tweek. Keep it together. You told Craig you can do it, so you have to try."

"Yeah, don't sweat it. You'll be fine."

Tweek jumped. He hadn't even noticed Token opening the door. He wondered how much the other had heard.  Token flashed him a reassuring smile.  He took a step back and ushered Tweek inside. He lead Tweek through the house to the kitchen where everyone was already sitting. Tweek swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, or tried to, anyway. He had to cough into his hand then try again before he finally forced it down.

Craig hopped off the table he was on and hurried over. He put a hand on Tweek's forearm. Tweek leaned into his touch, his nerves calming, for the moment.

"You don't have to do this. We won't make you if you freaks you out that much." Craig offered slowly. He eyed the bandaid on Tweek's hands with a frown.

"No, I-I--gah--I can do it. If everyone else can do it, so can I." Tweek felt his stomach twist. He wanted to take Craig's offer, but he couldn't let the other boys think he was a wimp like that! Tweek Tweak was many things, but he was not a wimp! He took a breath then stepped away from Craig.

"Alright, what do I do? Br-Bring it on!" He prayed his voice sounded more confident than he felt.

Clyde pushed back his chair, filling the kitchen with a loud scraping. Without putting the chair back in, he ran forward, fishing for something in his pockets. He nearly skidded into them before stopping. He then produced a long strip of cloth triumphantly from his back pocket.

"Craig, if you would do the honor," Clyde held out the strip with unnecessary flourish. Craig rolled his eyes before snatching it from his hand.

"We have to blind fold you, for the effect." He explained. "Is that ok?"

Tweek chewed his lips. It was one thing to go through these trials metaphorically blind, but actually blind? That might be too much. His gaze darted towards Token, then Clyde, and finally Jimmy who was waiting back at the table. If he didn't wear the blind fold, what would they think? Would they think he was a pansy for it?

A small, nervous, growl escaped his throat. No, he could handle this! He had to prove himself!

Tweek nodded, shutting his eyes, and leaned forward. Craig was taller than him, though, Craig was taller than just about everyone in their class, so Tweek stood on his tiptoes. He didn't think it would actually help much, but the feeling of mild numbness on his toes gave him something to focus on as his boyfriend tied the blindfold across his eyes.

He felt Craig's fingers brush against his cheeks as Craig lowered his hands. Tweek dropped back down to the flats of his feet.

"Ok, I'm leaving him with you Token. You know what to do." Craig said.

Tweek felt a hand on his shoulder, Token's, he assumed, as he was lead away. Behind him, he heard Clyde and Jimmy chuckling to themselves and felt the breeze as they hurried by him. He tried to pick Craig's footsteps out, but couldn't. He wasn't sure if that was because Craig wasn't moving or if he was purposely walking differently.

The sliding glass door opened, and Token took Tweek outside. They traveled across Token's backyard before Token made them stop.

"Alright," Token said, "Just stay there, dude. I gotta set up stream chat...connecting, connecting...and there! Smile, Tweek, you're on camera."

"Gah! What? Is this live? Who can see me?! I can't preform like this, man!" Tweek rung his hands together. A bandaid, from his left ring finger this time, fell to the ground.

"It's just us, Tweek!" Jimmy's voice came from somewhere near by. "It's a cl-closed chat."

"It's better than those shitty walkie talkies we had to use last time." Craig commented. "Ok, Tweek, you have to pass four trails to enter our gang. Token will explain the first, then Clyde has the second once you finish, Jimmy the fourth and I'll explain the last. Can you handle that?"

"Y-yes!" Tweek forced out.

"You've got this, Tweek!" Jimmy cheered from the group chat.

"Yeah! You'll be the fifth member in no time!" Clyde chimed in.

Tweek nodded, but then realized he wasn't sure if the chat could see him. "I can do it. I can do it. I can!" He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince them or himself. Maybe both.

"Tweek, you don't need to worry about failing, honey. If you mess up, you can try as many times as you want--or at least until we have to go home in a couple of hours." Craig reassured. "I'm watching you from the window--"

"Because he might help you cheat otherwise!" Clyde laughed.

"Clyde, you can't see it, but I'm flipping you off with both hands up here." Craig deadpanned. He took a breath. "You can do it, babe. I believe in you. Alright, Token? Start!"

Token reached up and untied the blindfold, letting it fall from Tweek's face. Tweek blinked a few times, eyes readjusting to the light. Token slipped his phone into his pocket. So that's what he was using for the call.

"Tweek, your first trial is the Obstacle Course of Death!" Token swung his arm out.

Somehow part of Token's back yard had been transformed into a makeshift obstacle course. Nearest to Tweek was a roped tied over a low hanging tree branch. Tweek squinted. Someone had left a chimpokomon doll on the branch. Then a couple of card board posts with arrows scribbled on them lead to a kiddie pool. The word "JUMP!" was on the near by sign. Finally, they had thrown some mesh netting over the top of some plastic lawn chairs. He could barely read it, but he was almost sure the sign said "CRAWL!"

Tweek turned his gaze towards Token's house. Though he couldn't see clearly through the windows, he could see movement on one of the second story windows. That must have been Craig, Tweek reasoned.

"Did you really make Craig stay inside so he wouldn't help me cheat?" Tweek asked.

Token shook his head. "He wouldn't help you cheat, but he would stay on the sidelines calling you all sorts of mushy names as you went along, and frankly, none of us wanted to deal with that."

Tweek felt his face heat up. "Oh..." He whispered. "Um, sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault Craig fell out of the hopeless romantic closet and the gay one at the same time." Token shrugged. "Enough chit-chat. Let me explain. The course starts when you knock the chimpokomon doll out of the tree. After that, jump the pool, then army crawl under the netting. Got it?"

"Yeah!"

Token raised his hand then threw it down. "Now go!"

"Gah!" Tweek exclaimed, bolting forward. He grabbed tightly onto the rope and attempting to haul himself up.  Tweek wasn't a skinny kid. Considering more often than he would like to admit his daily diet was coffee and pastries from the shop, he had gotten himself a bit of a belly. While he wasn't as hefty as Clyde, his pudginess still pulled him down.

Tweek gritted his teeth. His arms were already yelling at him in protest, but he carried on. Or, he tried to. In fact, Tweek only made it about a third of the way up the rope before he fell back. He blinked the stars from his eyes and pushed himself up.

He could hear Token asking if he was alright from the side lines, but he didn't reply back. Tweek rolled his shoulders, about to try again when he stopped. He grabbed the rope, but this time started to shake it, pulling down and to the side as hard as he could.

He knew he must have looked really stupid, but he didn't care once he heard the soft plop of the chimpokomon doll hitting the ground beside him. Before going on, he glanced at Token.

"Does that work?" He called. Token had his hand to his mouth, covering a smile, but he nodded anyway for Tweek to continue.

Suddenly feeling very determined, Tweek bolted forward towards the pool. If he jumped just right, he could probably make it. Hopefully. He wished he had Craig's stupidly long legs right then as he bend down and sprung forward.

Tweek didn't make it. Instead his shoe caught on the rim of the pool, and he stumbled forward, face first. Tweek gasped for breath, splashing about, before finally righting himself. As he flopped out of the pool, he heard Token yelling at him that it was alright, just go! Shaking some of the water from his hair, he ran wildly forward to the last obstacle.

The second he neared, Tweek dropped to his belly and began to crawl under the netting. His mom would have a fit once she saw the grass and mud stains, but at that moment, Tweek didn't care. He was so, so close! Almost one trial down, and he had only made a fool of himself in front of his friends twice.

It was still going better than the screening for Stan's group if he had to be honest.

Tweek rolled to his feet as he final exited the netting. He doubled over with his hands on his knees. He probably could have done the course slower, and wouldn't have ended up so out of breath. That didn't matter, though. He was done, and as far as he knew, he did alright.

A hand landed firmly on his shoulder. "You did it, dude!" Token grinned. "Ok, Clyde's over there, near the grill. You're doing awesome!"

Tweek nodded wordless before he dashed towards the built in grill. Clyde sat on a stool he must have dragged from inside the house, though Tweek's brain was so frazzled he couldn't recall which room. Clyde tossed a towel into Tweek's face as he neared.

"Nice jump, man." Clyde remarked cheekily. "Take a seat." He gestured to a stool beside him. Tweek slipped onto the stool, drying his hair and face. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his frantically heart from the obstacle course.

Clyde rocked the stool backwards and forward as he waited for Tweek to finish drying himself off. Once Tweek set the towel down in his lap, Clyde jumped from the stool and then puffed out his chest.

"This next trail is my favorite. The Chill of Doom!" Clyde grabbed the handle of the closed grill besides him. A smile that reminded Tweek a little too much of a cartoon super villain spilt across Clyde's features. With an air of drama, Clyde threw open the grill lid.  Sitting on the grates was a large glass with some sort of brown colored substance inside covered with way too much whip cream. A straw stuck out the side.

"Take the milkshake, Padawan."

With trembling fingers, Tweek took the milkshake from inside the grill and pulled it into his lap. Why did it have to be a glass? Why not plastic or something he knew he wouldn't break if he dropped it?

Clyde planted his feet on the ground and stuck his fists at his hips. "Tweek, for this trial you must drink that whole thing--as fast as you can!" Clyde had an infectious energy about him, and it made Tweek feel a surge of confidence.

"Garh, right!"  He grabbed the straw and threw it aside then placed the glass rim to his lips and chugged. His face was smeared with whip cream. Some even got up his nose, but he didn't waver. He tried his best not to taste the shake.  There was something off about the taste of the milkshake, but he would rather not know what kind of grossness his friends had mixed in until after he had already finished.

Half way through the shake, a sharp pain flared across Tweek's head. He gasped. Chocolate and spit mixed with the grass stains on his shirt.

"Brain freeze! Gah! Brain freeze!" Tweek gasped out, shoving his thumb against the roof of his mouth--an old trick his dad had taught him when he was little.  

"Fight the pain! Keep going!" Clyde cheered. "You're doing better than Token--he had barfed by now!" Tweek trying to ignore the implications of that last comment as he powered on. He chugged the rest before setting the glass aside, holding his head.

"Oh, Jesus! It hurts! It hurts! I'm never eating ice cream again!" He cried as he rubbed the heels of his palms against his head. He then took a corner of the towel and wiped off his face.

Clyde laughed, taking the towel from Tweek's lap once he finished and throwing it over his shoulder. "I think I can see why Craig likes you, dude. That was awesome! Did you taste the  ketchup we mixed in?"

"Ketchup?"

 Of all the possible disgusting options for what a bunch of eleven year-old boys could have chose to hide in a chocolate milkshake, Tweek had to admit ketchup hadn't been one he considered.

"Yup! It was my idea. Jimmy wanted to put onions in, but I knew you'd see them--and they wouldn't fit through the straw. So I said let's put some ketchup in there." Clyde spoke with an air of pride about him.

"Speaking of Jimmy," Clyde grabbed Tweek's arm and pulled him off the stool. "He's in the kitchen. You're almost done!"

Tweek had to steady himself against the grill too keep from falling over before he headed towards the door. Half stumbling, half jogging, Tweek made his way back into the kitchen, thankful for the warmth of the house. Jimmy sat at the table. He gestured to the seat across from him for Tweek. Tweek slipped into the seat.

"I'd say take a ch-ch-chill pill, but you've already got the chill covered." Jimmy quipped.

"Um, y-yeah, what do you--what's next." Tweek rubbed his hands over his arms. His fingers brushed against the bandaid at his elbow and he noticed that he was missing another from his fingers.

"Well, my terrific soon-to-be official audience, do we have a treat for you this find afternoon!" Jimmy flashed a smile. The light glinted off his braces. He continued, "This t-tr-tr-trail is called...The Blind Kiss."

"Of Doom or Death?" Tweek cut in, recalling the names of the other trails.

"No, just The Blind Kiss." Jimmy replied. "Now, shut those pretty peepers and pucker up!"

Tweek swallowed. What if he had to kiss something gross? Like a wet turd or stinky dead fish or a girl? This was too much pressure!

No, no, he was more than half done, he could do this! Remember, Tweek thought, everyone else had to do this too, so it can't be something too terrible, right?

Craig's rational way of thinking didn't always work with someone as emotional as Tweek, but Tweek was so thankful when it actually did. Maybe some of his boyfriend's mentality was rubbing off on him.

Tweek slipped his eyes shut and leaned across the table. His lips puckered out. He heard Jimmy chuckled to himself and some shuffling and something that sounded like squeaking.

"No peeking, or else you'll fail." Jimmy warned. In response, Tweek clenched his eyes shut tighter. Another chuckle then Jimmy said, "Here we g-g-g-go! Enjoy!"

Tweek then felt something wet and soft press against his lips. The musky smell of wood chips and hay hit his nose.  He nearly recoiled but stopped himself. He knew this feeling. He knew those smells. Tweek pulled back and peeked open his eyes.

Stripe looked up at him with big black eyes. The guinea pig twitched his nose and made a move to try and escape Jimmy's grasp. At this, Jimmy shrugged. He held the rodent across the table towards Tweek, who took the pig into his arms, trying his best not to hold Stripe against any of the milkshake stains.

Jimmy then produced a phone from his pocket. He pressed against it a few times before setting it back down. He moved his hand towards Tweek to scratch stripe behind the ears.

"Ya know, when I did this trial," Jimmy started, "I peeked."

"You did?" Tweek gasped. "Did you have to kiss Stripe again?"

"No," A new voice said. The boys looked up to Craig wandering in from the hall. "We made him do it again, but this time he had to kiss a fish we caught earlier that day at Stark's Pond."

Jimmy wrinkled his nose at the memory. "I would have preferred a sexy mermaid." The sliding glass door opened then and Clyde and Token wandered in.

"Sexy mermaid? Are we talking about the time we got Jimmy to french a fish?" Token asked.

"I did not f-fr-french a fish." Jimmy rolled his eyes as everyone took a seat around the table. Craig slide in next to Tweek and gingerly took Stripe into his own arms.

"I'm 99% sure I saw some tongue." Clyde teased.

"At least, I didn't need help knocking the chimpokomon doll down." Jimmy snorted.

"I didn't know you didn't have to climb the rope!" Clyde protested.

"We had to push your ass up the tree, Clyde, because you didn't even try to listen to our suggestions." Craig recalled.

Before the banter could continue, Tweek cut in. "What about the last trial?" Jimmy, Token, and Clyde exchanged sly glances with each other. Tweek raised a concerned eyebrow.

"Yeah, Craig, what about the last trail?" Clyde smirked.

Craig winced. "I say he's passed enough. He was pretty much a member of the gang before anyway."

Token shook his head. "You can't squirm your way out of this, dude."

"Is big, bad Craig scared?" Jimmy chuckled.

"No, I am not." Craig muttered. He heaved a sigh. Handing Stripe over to Jimmy, Craig stood. He nodded at Tweek, who quickly followed suit.

"This is your last trial, The Big Fist Puncheru." Craig stated flatly.

"Oh Jesus! That's Super Craig's attack--gah! You're gonna punch me?" Tweek chewed his lip. When Craig wanted to, he could pack a wallop. In fact, Tweek had seen his boyfriend take down adults with his punches to the gut. It was Super Craig's Big Fist Puncheru that had knocked Wonder Tweek out during one of their fights when they last played super heroes.

"Um, no." Craig shook his head. "You get to punch me. It's suppose to be the only free punch you'll ever get."

"What?" Tweek's eyes widen. "I've already done that! Last year, in shop class? We had to go the hospital--and we fought there too!"

"I know! That's why I didn't want you to do this. You punch hard, dude. Really, I think you would have been a better brutalist than Super Craig."

Tweek put his hand to his face. A smile spread across it. "Thanks, Craig. I--" Before Tweek could say any more, Clyde made a gagging sound. Craig turned and glowered at him before raising his middle finger.

"Yeah, you too can gush about how gay and in love you are later." Clyde slapped his palm on the table. "But he has to finish the last trial. Punch him! Punch him! Punch him!" Clyde began to chant. Soon Jimmy and Token joined in as well.

Craig shrugged and turned his left shoulder towards Tweek. He tapped a spot on his forearm then nodded. Tweek sent Craig an apologetic smile before he raised his fist. He pulled back then paused. After making sure Craig was watching, Tweek tapped a kiss against his fingers. He was almost sure he saw the smallest bit of a blush flash across Craig's cheeks.

Then, slowly and deliberately, Tweek gently tapped his fist against Craig's cheek. Craig blinked before slowly reaching up and touching the spot Tweek 'punched'. Tweek hoped the spit from his indirect kiss didn't gross his boyfriend out too much.

"The fuck was that?" Clyde's mouth hung open in disbelief. "That was the most pathetic punch I've ever seen!"

Tweek shrugged before he slipped his fingers into Craig's. "You never said it had to be a good punch."

Craig leaned against Tweek. "He has a point. You guys just took your one free punch as an all out."

Clyde looked like he wanted to protest, but instead crossed his arms and gave a defeated shrug. Even Jimmy and Token looked a little disappointed at the anticlimactic final trial.

"What a let down." Jimmy muttered. Token nodded in agreement.

Craig rolled his eyes. "Fuck you guys, too." He then turned towards Tweek. With a squeeze of his hand, Craig greeted, "Welcome to the gang, Tweek."

~~~~~~

AN:  I spend half of my time writing this with that cut away gag from family guy where the supreme court judge had to carry a cherry with his butt cheeks playing on a loop in my head.

#south park #fanfiction #sp creek #criag tucker #tweek tweak #clyde donovan #token black #jimmy volmer #sp #oneshot

[sachigram]

Infinity, With Coffee Rings Chapter 2

Click here to read on ao3!

The coffeehouse is quiet so early in the morning. Tweek actually enjoys it and always has, despite the fact he's technically working. There's something special about the late night and the early morning hours. When the rest of the world is asleep, there's no one to impress or hide from. Tweek is alone with the coffee, his most favorite audience.

Only a few customers trickle in, doctors from Hells Pass, fast food workers off to open their stores. Tweek wonders what it would be like to have another job sometimes, but he knows better than to think anyone else would actually ever hire him. All it would take for his applications to be thrown out would be his medical history, and then he knows the employers would go running for the hills if they had any sense.

“Whoa—dude!”

Tweek looks up from the counter to see Kyle Broflovski in the doorway, though it's hard to recognize him without the ushanka on his head. Then again, Craig wasn't wearing his chullo, so Tweek supposes he's going to have to rethink normalcy.

Kyle bounds for the counter, startling Tweek, who finds himself being hugged tightly for the second time in twenty-four hours by an old childhood friend.

“This is crazy! I never thought I'd see you again!” Kyle says. Tweek snorts incredulously.

“I guess I wasn't really aware I was so popular back then,” Tweek mutters, patting Kyle awkwardly on the back.

“Well—yeah we were kind of jerks as kids.” Kyle pulls back with a smile. They weren't really friends. Tweek hung out with Kyle's group of friends off and on, and he remembers being picked on mercilessly, even worse than he was picked on when he hung out with Craig's group. Tweek remembers Craig punching Cartman in the face once for cornering Tweek and trying to make him eat dirt. Kyle had found the punching hilarious.

Kyle is a little taller than Tweek, eyes still bright green and hair still wild and red. Tweek can tell Kyle puts a lot of work into his hair now, probably expensive work.

“It's pretty early. Do you work at the hospital too?” Tweek asks.

“Oh, no, I work in private practice,” Kyle says.

“But you're a doctor?”

“No, I'm a child counselor.” Kyle grins, and Tweek finds himself thinking that Kyle grew up to be cute. “I'd love to be a doctor, but that'd be four more years of school.”

Tweek notices the ring on Kyle's finger.

“You're married?”

“You remember Stan, right?”

Tweek's eyes nearly pop out of his head.

“You and Stan?! I mean—wow. Wow. Congratulations! It's just—fuck, I'm really bad with words, if you remember, so...”

“Hey, it's okay,” Kyle says. “Just slow down and say how you feel.”

Tweek recognizes therapy when he hears it. He shoots Kyle a glare, then feels bad about it.

“It's just like an alien planet, man. This place was supposed to stay the same. Nothing ever changes here, except things did change. It's like that 'you can't go home again' feeling but I never thought that shit was real,” Tweek says.

“Life happens fast, dude,” Kyle agrees, and Tweek is grateful he's dropped the counselor talk.

“So, uh, how long? Were you guys together when we were kids? Did I miss that?” Tweek asks.

Kyle laughs. “God, no. It didn't happen until we were teenagers. We've been together thirteen years, now, married for three.”

“Jesus.”

“Tell me about it. Stan would be super happy to see you, too,” Kyle says.

“He would?”

“Stan loves everyone.” Kyle grins fondly as he says so.

Tweek takes Kyle's order and is busy making it while Kyle chatters in the background about some other people Tweek's been curious about. Butters supposedly railed against his parents after high school and ran off with Kenny, though they recently moved back at Kenny's insistence. Kyle talks about Kenny's supposed “spiritual marriage” with South Park with a tiny scowl on his face, and Tweek wonders how many times Kyle's tried to convince Kenny there's no such thing to no avail. Kyle always did get pissy when no one saw his logic as the right answer. Tweek is so busy thinking this he almost doesn't hear what Kyle just said. Almost.

“WHAT! Cartman and...and Wendy?!”

“Yeah, that was Stan's reaction, too,” Kyle says.

“Holy... How is that even possible? Wendy isn't... Did she get stupid when I was away?”

“Ha! Sorry it's just that she was Valedictorian and she makes these snide little comments about it sometimes because she beat me for it. She's good at everything but dating, I guess. Cartman's calmed down a lot since he finally landed her, though. Really he needs someone who isn't gonna take his shit, and she fits the bill,” Kyle says.

“God. None of that makes any sense. None of any of this does, dude. Cartman was a fucking—ugh. And Clyde has cancer and I had a fucking dinner party with him and Bebe and Craig—“

“Craig Tucker?” Kyle asks. “He's in town?”

“Yeah, he was here yesterday. And he was nice to me. I mean I guess he was never mean to me before but he didn't like, smile and shit. He wasn't like that before. He didn't care about anything when we were kids except his guinea pig and cartoons.” Tweek runs a hand through his already disarrayed hair. “I'm in fucking—Chinatown. I can't process any of this.”

“Craig's still a dick. He sent Stan and I a collection of dildos for our wedding present with a card that just said 'Take it Jew'.”

Tweek barks out a laugh, then feels a little bad about it. Kyle just smiles though.

“Yeah, so see? Some things are still the same.”

Kyle gives his number to Tweek and then hurries out of the shop to work, leaving Tweek alone with the coffee again. He's busy stacking sugar packets into a tower when Craig stumbles into the shop looking like death itself.

“You look rough,” Tweek comments.

“Yeah. I feel like shit,” Craig says. He strides to the counter and leans against it, glaring at the menu.

“Are you sick? Dude—you shouldn't be here if you're sick. I could catch it. I hate being sick! Argh—I'll have to take more pills than I already do! That's a lot of pills!” Tweek is already counting in his head.

“Chill. It's sleep deprivation. Clyde's couch is lumpy and I don't think I slept at all last night.” Craig's still reading the menu. He squints his eyes. “Is it unhealthy to just drink straight espresso? In a large cup?”

“It's probably not healthy. Not like I'm a health expert. I think I read that you'd have to drink a lot of coffee for it to kill you though but sometimes those reports aren't accurate. I could just pull some shots for you and see if it helps.”

“Sure, why the fuck not,” Craig says.

They're in a companionable silence for a bit. Tweek takes his time readying shots for Craig, who downs them with an awful expression. Craig is on his third when he holds his hand up.

“Okay, no. First of all, this is disgusting. Secondly, I don't feel awake. I feel like I'm vibrating.”

“That's a step up from sleeping,” Tweek says with a grin.

“You're the worst. You peddle me this garbage in a tiny cup and say it'll help just to watch me suffer.” Craig gives him a stern look. “You aren't even sympathetic to my zombie state.”

“Not really. I never sleep and you don't hear me complaining.”

“Smartass.”

Tweek smiles innocently. “Guess who came in earlier.”

“I can't believe anyone ever comes in here,” Craig snarks.

“Ha. You're here. And you were here yesterday, too, okay, so you can shut up,” Tweek says, making Craig grin. “Kyle was here today.”

“Gross.”

“He told me about his marriage and stuff.”

“Extra gross.”

“And apparently you gave him dildos for a present because you're an awful person.”

“It seemed like the most useful thing. Broflovski has a stick up his ass, but I'm sure something else would fit up there with enough effort. And Marsh is dickless, so.”

Tweek laughs. “That's awful! You're awful!”

“I'm right, though.” Craig grins again, and Tweek thinks if Kyle grew up to be cute, another adjective fits Craig entirely. Handsome, maybe? Would gorgeous be offensive to another guy? Probably. Tweek offends people easily without meaning to, since it's easier to blurt everything out than to process it first.

Has Tweek ever found another man gorgeous before? Honestly, he can't remember ever thinking anyone was, gender aside. Craig definitely is though, with his black hair and light blue eyes. He always looks either bored or up to something, which also describes Craig very well actually.

“Is Cartman still fat?” Tweek asks suddenly, thinking about it.

“Probably. I try not to see him. Or anyone, really, aside from a handful of people in this town,” Craig says, shrugging.

“Am I—I mean, I guess I am in the handful, right? Since you're here.”

“Clearly.”

Tweek smiles down at the counter.

“Do you ever think about alternate realities?” he asks, blurting again.

“Frequently,” Craig says without a moment's pause.

“Okay, so like, do you think the old South Park fell into a black hole or something and was replaced with a new one? Or—or maybe I was? Oh, God!” Tweek grabs at his hair and pulls. It's a bad habit he's been working on breaking.

“What makes you ask?” Craig asks, still calm. He frowns and smacks Tweek's hands out of his hair. “Stop that. Clyde's bald enough for you both without you pulling your hair out.”

“Just...everything changed? And Kyle said some stuff that was true, I mean, life does happen fast but to think of things changing here? Am I the only one who thinks this place is in some kind of void where things should always stay the same?”

“You aren't the only one. Things did stay the same, to me. I guess it's just because you weren't here while things were changing, so you came back to everything being different than it was.” Craig starts messing with the sugar packet tower Tweek was making before.

“I guess. Well. You left, too. Do you ever feel this way?” Tweek asks.

“Kind of, but I guess it doesn't get to me because I hear firsthand from Clyde and Token about any changes in their lives. I don't really come back and get surprised. But this time I did, since you were suddenly here.”

“Surprises are good sometimes. One of my therapists said that to me—hey. Hey!” Tweek squawks as Craig knocks over his looming tower of sugar packets. “I had those color coordinated!”

“Sorry. Hey, when can you leave?” Craig asks, clearly not sorry at all.

“Whenever my dad gets here. He likes to sleep in now that I can watch the store in the mornings. He doesn't like getting up early,” Tweek explains.

“Cool, so around lunchtime?”

“Yeah, did you want to go somewhere?”

“You're upset,” Craig says simply. “I have things I like to do when I'm upset.”

About an hour later, Tweek's dad comes in. He smiles at Craig and pats Tweek on the shoulder, looking as serene as he always does after he takes his morning medication.

“Hello, boys. It's a wonderful day today,” he says.

“Dad, do you mind if I go somewhere with Craig?” Tweek asks.

“Mm. Where is this 'somewhere'?”

“The pet store,” Craig says before Tweek can answer.

“Oh. That's fine. Just don't bring anything home, Tweek. You know what your mother would say.”

Tweek's climbing in the passenger seat of Craig's car when Craig speaks again, so he almost misses it.

“Huh?” he asks.

“I said why can't you bring anything home? Your parents don't like pets?”

“Oh. Well, I'm not supposed to have anything to take care of. My parents think I'm...not ready for that,” Tweek says glumly. He hates having to admit things like that, but it's easier to tell the truth than to have to keep track of a lie.

Craig's jaw is set as he starts his car and pulls out of the parking lot.

“So they just decided that? Your doctors never said you couldn't have a pet?”

“A couple of my doctors thought it'd be good for me to have...you know, like a fish or something small. My parents were always against it though. They don't really think I can even take care of myself, much less a defenseless animal.”

“That's really—uh,” Craig pauses. “That's super shitty. That's what they think your limitations are, but have you tried testing your own?”

“No,” Tweek says quietly. Craig looks over at him.

“I'm not saying you have to. You should, though. No one knows what you can do better than you.”

“I feel like I'd kill something. Or hurt it. I don't want to have that on my shoulders,” Tweek says.

“Do you remember to brush your teeth and shit like that?” Craig asks, and Tweek nods confusedly. “Okay, well it's the same thing. You brush your teeth in the morning and then you give the fish some fish flakes. It's like a routine. And fish die sometimes but that doesn't always mean it's anyone's fault.”

“Do you have a pet?” Tweek asks to get the focus off himself.

“Nope. I'm hardly ever home, and when I am home, I'm asleep. I could get a fish, though. They're pretty low maintenance.”

“I'm surprised you don't have a guinea pig,” Tweek says.

“I had one. He died,” Craig says.

“Recently?”

“A couple years ago. I didn't buy him, someone gave him to me. He died pretty young. Do you remember Stripe?”

Tweek smiles at the name of Craig's old beloved guinea pig. He nods.

“Yeah, he lived to be nine. That's older than they usually get. I haven't bought one since he died. There won't ever be another one like him, you know?”

The rest of the ride is spent in silence, aside from Craig's music, which is some kind of heavy metal music Tweek doesn't listen to. He snorts when they actually pull into the pet store parking lot.

“I wasn't sure if you were serious,” he admits.

“I'm always serious,” Craig says. “Unless I'm not,” he adds, waggling his eyebrows.

They journey through the cold into the warmth of the store. Tweek's never been to a pet store before, since he always knew he wasn't supposed to have one. He sees bird cages as soon as they enter, but Craig pulls him to the side, towards some glass containers where there are mice, hamsters, and—of course, guinea pigs.

“See, look? Don't you feel better already? De-stressed? I know I do,” Craig says.

“They're cute,” Tweek admits. A tiny black one catches his eye. It has a cute twitching nose, and it doesn't take its eyes off Tweek.

“That one likes you,” Craig comments as Tweek moves his finger along the outside of the glass just to have the little ball of fluff chase after it.

“Yeah, it's so...” Tweek's eyes fill with tears. “It's so little. I think I'm gonna cry, just 'cause it's so cute.”

“Hang on,” Craig says. He shuffles away and leaves Tweek to play with the guinea pig for a moment. He comes back with an employee Tweek recognizes.

“Well, hey there, Tweek!” Butters says jovially. He pulls Tweek into a hug, and Tweek is starting to think he'd better get used to this. “I almost didn't believe Craig when he said you were here! How have you been, buddy?”

“Good,” Tweek says, his eyebrows raised. “I'm just, you know. Here.”

“I'm here, too! Craig said you wanted to hold one of the guinea pigs?”

“What? No! I can't hold one! I'll drop it!” Tweek practically shouts.

“He wants to hold it. I'll supervise and make sure he doesn't drop it,” Craig says.

“Okay, good. We have to be careful about who we let hold things around here. Kids like to be mean sometimes!” Butters starts to open the cage, and Tweek seriously considers running for it. “Which one of the little fellas did you wanna hold?”

“The black one,” Craig answers.

“Oh yeah, I've been callin' him Midnight!” Butters scoops the little guy up and holds him out to Tweek, who twitches.

“I—I can't, man! That's too much! I'll hurt it!”

“Hand him here, Butters,” Craig instructs. He takes the little guinea pig and pets him gently before holding him out to Tweek.

“Craig, I can't,” Tweek says.

“You can do it. Come on, trust yourself a little. You won't hurt him.”

Nervously, Tweek lets the little fluff ball drop into his hands. He quickly pulls it to his chest and cradles it, staring down at it with wide eyes.

“Is it a boy?” he asks.

“Yep!” Butters says. “He's about three months old!”

Tweek pets him carefully, and feels emotional again as the guinea pig twitches its nose and whiskers at him.

“He twitches like I do,” he says softly. He doesn't pay attention to Craig's and Butters's conversation as he plays with the guinea pig, who really does seem to enjoy being held.

“Well,” Craig says after a few minutes. “He's yours, if you want him.”

“Huh?” Tweek asks lamely.

“I'll get him for you. It'll be good for you to have a pet, and I can tell you love him already. He can stay in your room.”

“I... My parents would kill me. And what if I forget to take care of him? Or...” Tweek starts.

“I'll personally text you every day to remind you if that's what it takes. Just buy him food and clean up after him and your parents won't even really know he's in your room.”

“I can give you guys a discount!” Butters says happily. “You should get him, Tweek, he likes you! Better you buy him than some little kid who really doesn't wanna take care of him.”

Tweek thinks of the poor guinea pig being ignored by a snot nosed kid and he finds himself nodding his head.

Somehow he ends up back in Craig's car with a new guinea pig, a giant cage, some food, and some other supplies. He feels overwhelmed as he holds the little box carefully in his lap.

“You really didn't have to spend all that money,” he says.

“It wasn't that much,” Craig says, though it was over one-hundred dollars. “I'll just live vicariously through you since I'm not home enough to have my own.”

“He'll be okay while I'm working, right?” Tweek asks worriedly.

“Yeah, he'll be fine. Are you changing his name?” Craig asks.

“I don't really like Midnight,” Tweek admits. “I think he needs a cooler name.” Tweek thinks about it for a minute. “What about Espresso?”

“You would name him after coffee,” Craig says. “Yeah, I like it. Espresso did wake me up today, a little. It's worthy.”

Luckily, both Tweek's parents must be at the shop, because the house is empty. Craig helps him carry everything upstairs to his room, and then puts the cage together while Tweek holds Espresso, still marveling at the fact he has a pet now. A pet that likes him.

“Is Clyde working today?” Tweek asks, wondering why Craig wants to spend time with him when he came to see Clyde.

“Yeah, till five. He only works part time, so I wasn't gonna ask him to take the weekend off. I knew I'd have something to do.”

“Do you think I offended him yesterday? About the, uh, phallic head comment?” Tweek asks guiltily.

“Definitely.”

“Oh, no!”

“Relax, Clyde gets offended about everything,” Craig says with a smirk. “Did you forget he's a crybaby? Trust me, you can't offend him more than I usually do. He's already over it.”

“It was still insensitive of me. I have a bad habit of blurting things out. It's just...so sad he's got cancer. Poor Clyde... I can't imagine.”

“He's gonna be okay,” Craig says, his voice soft. Tweek notices the change in Craig's expression, and he knows to change the subject.

“Well, good for me and Espresso you're here this weekend! Now he gets to have a home,” Tweek says, petting Espresso, who he's letting roam around the bed while keeping a close eye on him.

“I never noticed how rodent-like you were until I saw you next to one,” Craig says. “They say people look like their pets, but this is a whole new level.”

“I'm not rodent-like!” Tweek huffs.

“Small, twitchy, easily frightened. Totally rodent-like.”

Tweek grumbles and wills Espresso to leap off the bed at Craig's face, but it doesn't happen.

When the cage is done, Tweek puts Espresso inside it and readies his food and water. It's easy enough, and Tweek thinks it should be simple to incorporate it into his daily routine, like Craig said.

“You promise you'll remind me every day?” he asks.

“I won't have to, but I promise,” Craig says.

They hang out and play with Espresso until a little after four. Craig says he has to go pick up Clyde from work and spend quality bro time with him, which Tweek understands. Tweek really wants to stay with Espresso and make sure he gets settled in anyway. Also he wants to make sure his parents don't find Espresso on their own and freak out.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” Craig says, and Tweek blinks dumbly up at him.

“You want to hang out again tomorrow?”

“Clearly you don't recognize how friendship works,” Craig says. “I just bought you a guinea pig. I've bought your affection. So tomorrow you have to hang out with me and Clyde again.”

“Oh my god, fine. My affection isn't cheap, though! It'll cost more than a guinea pig!” Tweek teases, then he blushes. Did he just flirt? Was that flirting?

“Be off tomorrow,” is all Craig says before he leaves.

Tweek has a hard time explaining the new guinea pig and an even harder time convincing his parents to let him off the next day, but they relent when Tweek tells them Craig is leaving and won't be back for a while. He hurriedly picks at his dinner and then goes back upstairs with Espresso, who seems to be making himself quite at home.

Tweek spends the rest of the evening writing in his journal, one of his many coping mechanisms. He fills three pages with his worry over his new pet, and also his excitement over doing something he was always told he shouldn't do. It feels liberating, in a way. He wants to do his best to take care of Espresso, and he doesn't want to let Craig down, either. No one has ever believed in him before. It's something he doesn't want to lose.

The next morning he finds himself in the backseat of Craig's car. Craig still looks like he hasn't slept, and Clyde is eating a fast food sausage and cheese biscuit blissfully like it's the best food he's ever had.

“So where are we going?” Tweek asks.

“To see a movie,” Craig says.

“It's not scary, right?”

“Clyde is with us,” Craig scoffs. “Clyde can't watch scary movies.”

“Fuck you!” Clyde says. “I can watch them. I just think they're stupid.”

“He'll cry. It's best to avoid the headache.”

They end up watching some comedy that has Tweek laughing loudly, and he'd be embarrassed, but everyone else is laughing too. They don't notice him, and Tweek finds himself thinking it's so nice just to blend in, even if it's in the darkness of a movie theater. He shares popcorn and Skittles with Craig, and Clyde has what seems to be a lap full of candy on Craig's other side.

“I just feel bad for him since he never gets to have junk food at home,” Craig had said at the concession. Tweek thinks it's probably good for Clyde to have some calories, since he's gotten pretty thin.

By the time they're walking through the parking lot back to Craig's car, Tweek has forgotten Craig is leaving soon. That is, until Clyde mentions it.

“You could hang out a little longer. Leave after dark. You'll be up all night anyway.”

“I won't. I'm planning on crashing since your lumpy ass couch didn't let me sleep at all this weekend,” Craig says. “Besides, I've gotta do laundry and shit. Tomorrow starts a long week.”

“Feels like you just got here,” Clyde mumbles petulantly.

“Well, I'll be back soon enough. Try not to eat too much candy while I'm gone or Bebe will blame me.”

They drop Clyde off first, since he's the closest. Clyde gives Craig a tight hug that makes Tweek's ribs hurt in sympathy, and then they're driving back to Tweek's house.

“I forgot you had to leave today,” Tweek says.

“You gonna miss me?” Craig asks.

“Yes,” Tweek says without pause. “You're easy to get used to.”

“I'll take that as a compliment.”

“It is one!”

Craig pulls in front of Tweek's house and puts the car in park.

“Ugh, my dad's gonna ask me to work the night shift. I know he is. Oh well. I guess I should play with Espresso while I can.” Tweek looks over at Craig. “Be careful, okay?”

“I'll text you when I get back,” Craig says. “You aren't planning on leaving town before I come back, are you?”

“No. I promise. And even if I did, you have my number.”

“I'll probably text you a lot,” Craig says, nodding to himself, and Tweek doesn't bother asking why. “You'd better respond.”

“I will!”

“And send me pictures of Espresso.”

Tweek laughs. “I will!”

“I want updates on every thought in his guinea pig brain,” Craig says seriously.

“Okay, okay! I promise!” Tweek says, laughing harder. He stops when he notices Craig looking at him with a strange expression on is face. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Craig says quickly. “I'd better go. But first.” He leans over the glove box and pulls Tweek into a hug. Craig smells like cigarettes and movie theater popcorn. Tweek leans into him and hugs him back. It's the easiest hug he's had to return.

“Take care of yourself. And Clyde, if he needs it,” Craig murmurs. He pulls back and the strange expression is gone, replaced with his usual neutral one. “And don't hang out with Kyle or Stan too much. They'll turn you into a douche.”

“I guess your only option is to come back soon and make sure I'm not their new BFF,” Tweek says, and Craig snorts.

“You are such a smartass. Fine. I'll be back before you know it.”

Tweek exits the car and walks up to his front door before he turns around and waves to Craig, who waves back before driving off. Tweek sighs and goes inside. He's climbing the stairs to his room when his phone buzzes in his pocket. It's from Craig.

I missed you Tweek

Tweek manages to type back that Craig shouldn't be texting while behind the wheel after he gets done blushing and smiling like a loon.

#sp creek #craig x tweek #tweek tweak #craig tucker #south park fanfiction

[ask-the-riot-raidersarchive]

Happy Birthday Clyde!

My kids and the show crew threw Clyde a party =3

It was going to be his best birthday ever if Jade had any say in it, Clyde Donovan was turning 10-years-old on Tuesday April 10th which was only a week away. Jade Pines had talked to Roger Donovan about letting she and her friends handle planning and preparing for Clyde's birthday party this year and was ecstatic when he gave her full rein, Jade gathered all of her friends and all of Clyde's informing them of the massive surprise party they were going to throw the boy. Marion decided he was going to make Clyde an amazing cake he'd seen on Pintrest while Jade would make the Lemon Bars that Clyde was nuts for.

On Monday night once everyone had gifts ready for wrapping and the cake was frosted perfectly Maria was sent to Token's where she pleaded with the Black's to use their backyard for the party since their property was the largest in town and the party was massive, with their go-ahead after giving her word the yard would be spotless when the party was done everyone got to work moving the decorations to the Black's home while Token kept Clyde distracted by helping the Brunette with his homework at the Donovan house, the kids spent all of last week and the weekend pretending that they didn't know they were closing in on Clyde's birthday and Jade regretted it because the boy always donned a puppy-dog pout.

Tuesday morning after school Token took Clyde to his favorite bakery for something sweet giving their friends time to decorate the backyard while Maria and Lafayette sat upstairs in Token's bedroom wrapping and labeling birthday presents minus one, "why've you been so pouty lately?" Token asked Clyde as he checked the clock on the wall noticing it was about time to sneak the boy to the party.

"You can't tell me you don't even remember" Clyde huffed pulling his hand free from Token's to cross his arms and pout, "I turn 10 today, and literally nobody but my dad and sister remembered" he crowed as Token laid a hand on his back escorting him to the manor.

"C'mere" Token wrapped his arm around the Brunette hugging him until the boy calmed down a little giving him time to glance out back where he saw the table of presents, the table of sweets and even the Coon pinata that Maria made as a joke. "I wanna show you something" Token made Clyde shut his eyes then covered them escorting the emotionally upset boy outside, "okay, open them" he smiled once he could tell Clay's camcorder was recording them.

"SURPRISE!" the second Clyde's Milk Chocolate Brown eyes opened all of his friends popped up all over Token's yard thoroughly startling the birthday boy, the kids pulled small confetti poppers before Jade carefully made her way to the birthday boy where he laughed throwing himself into her arms.

"Did you really think any of us could forget YOUR birthday Clyde?" Jade asked the birthday boy as he cried into her neck, "Never! Never ever never" she twirled the boy until his laughter replaced his tears and it rang out over the yard.

"Happy birthday Clyde" Marion smiled at the birthday boy messing up his hair after Jade sat him down, "so pouty pants, lunch and cake or presents first?" he asked the Brunette who was drying his face trying to stop laughing.

"Ummm" Clyde bit his lower lip before hearing his stomach snarl angrily under his shirt, "what's for lunch?" he asked making everyone laugh.

"I made burgers and hotdogs" Clay announced, he got the plates from the island in Token's kitchen and set them up on the counter by the outdoor grill. "Let's dig in then pig out" Clay smiled rubbing Clyde's head before he grabbed the 'birthday' party hat putting it on the brthday boys head then hunted down the bags of buns he'd brought setting up a table with Kenny's help where they put out the buns, refreshments and condiments using the bottles to weigh down the paper plates.

Clyde beamed getting two hotdogs and a hamburger putting ketchup on all 3 before plopping down on his bottom between Jade and Token where he sank his teeth into the burger, "I appreciate this but you guys are jerks" he told them after swallowing the large bite.

"Jerks are we?" Jade asked watching him set his plate down to accept and drink from a can of soda from Stan, "you hear that?" she looked at Token who smirked nodding.

"Oh I did" Token sat his plate aside cracking his knuckles watching Clyde cower towards Jade, "we'll show you jerks" and quite quickly Clyde's loud hysteric giggling disturbed the party as the two ganged up on him. "Are we still jerks?" Token laughed carefully deflecting Clyde's right arm when the Brunette swung his arm at him, "well that wasn't very nice" he tried to pout but just grinned.

"Let him breathe" Marion laughed, "I think he's learned not insult his two best friends" he smiled watching them stop and pass Clyde his soda which he chugged.

Clyde lit up finishing his lunch with a renewed vigor after a fit of hysterics like that, "more like never insult them on an empty stomach" he said before eating a hotdog in roughly 2 bites emptying his plate.

"Cake?" Jade offered Clyde, "Marion worked hard on it just for you, cause we're jerks like that" she smiled messing up his hair before putting the birthday hat back on.

"I can't wait" Clyde grinned standing with Marion's help where everyone surrounded the cake making sure Clyde was front and center and the camera could see his as Marion uncovered the large Football shaped cake and lit the 10 candles on it, "this looks insane" the Brunette beamed.

"Happy Birthday Clyde" the guests cheered, they knew how much he loathed the Birthday song so they always just wished him happy birthday and he blew out the candles before the cake was cut and dished out.

"Boom" Jade giggled uncovering the tray a Lemon Bars smiling when Clyde grabbed a Strawberry topped one and started eating that before the slice of cake, she claimed a slice of cake then sat down so Clyde was once again between her and Token then took a bite. "This is great Marion" she praised her twin, "looks like he's enjoying it too" she laughed seeing Clyde roughly half way through the slice of cake he'd been given.

"What it's good?" Clyde pouted softly accepting the napkins from Jade under the threat that she'd mother him in front of the others (meaning she wasn't above licking a corner of the napkin and cleaning his face) so he did it himself using his cell camera to avoid missing anything, "you're the best you guys, I couldn't ask for a better party" he smiled at Jade and Token then the other kids all of whom smiled at him before running off and returning with two coolers and a small cardboard box which Jade claimed and settled into his lap as the camera was brought closer to them.

"Craig get yours out so he can open it next" Jade told the boy in the Chullo as Clyde looked at the hole riddled box in his lap, "go on Clyde" she smiled at the boy rubbing the back of his head.

Clyde's yes sparkled a little at the familiar sound coming from the box, "No. You did not" he opened it his eyes sparkling when the little Black and White Guinea Pig peeked out of the box making those cute little chirpy noises that their kind make. "Oh my god Jaaaade" he was torn between hugging his best friend and hugging his new Piggy, he hugged Jade first then picked up his new furry friend who licked his cheek softly making the boy laugh.

"Since Jade beat me to the punch I got you everything you'd need" he passed Clyde the biggest cooler where all of the gifts said they were from him, "a cage, a ball, a wheel, wood chips for the crate, food dish, water bottle, tubes to put around your room, a special coupon for the vet Tweek and I take Stripe #4 to that gets your first visit free and another for a free Micro-chipping" Craig told him helping him open and set up the cage where they put the Guinea Pig so it was out of the way.

"Okay mine next" Stan smiled rifling around the smaller cooler for a medium sized box shaped present, "happy birthday Clyde" he said watching Clyde unwrap the box and open it to reveal a football signed by his favorite player.

"Dude!" Clyde cheered setting the ball in its box where he embraced his friend, "how'd you score this?" he asked him.

"Secret" Stan smiled, "Kyle's next" he told him.

"Okay okay" Clyde giggled accepting the present, it was flat and squared if he had to guess it was a CD. He wasn't wrong, Kyle had bought him an autographed CD of his favorite band. "Dude are you guys trying to one up each other?" Clyde asked them through soft chuckles as he marveled at the CD, "these are awesome you guys" he smiled at them.

"It probably looks like it but only Maria, Lafayette and those that purchased the gifts knows what you got" Marion smiled grabbing a thick large box which he passed to the birthday boy, "this is from me and Alfred" he told him watching the excited 10-year-old tear through the wrapping paper to reveal two decent length boxes taped together most likely to hide the present.

"You...You did not" Clyde had opened the box and unearthed a Red and White Gibson Les Paul with his name on it, "Jesus Christ you two" he said softly strumming a few chords before putting it away and looking to the others curiously.

"I made this myself" Tweek passed Clyde a boxed present watching anxiously as the boy shredded his way through the wrapping paper eagerly making sure it went in the trashcan Token had brought out for him, "Happy Birthday" the blonde permitted a smile as Clyde unearthed the plushtoy of Mosquito and hugged it cracking up when it immitated the annoying buzzing the Brunette made as Mosquito.

"I love it!" Clyde cheered nuzzling the toy softly, "does that make me a narcissist?" he asked laughing when Tweek relaxed laughing as well.

"Nah, Craig has a Super Craig plush" Tweek told him cringing when the boy playfully hit his shoulder, "I had a bunch of fabric" he rubbed his neck.

"Here ese" Maria smiled sweetly grabbing a square but flimsy plush present out of the cooler and passed it to him, "happy birthday" she ruffled his bangs when he smiled accepting the present.

"Maria this is so pretty" Clyde said softly looking at the large quilt in his arms, the patches were littered in things he liked. Footballs, Guitars, Tacos, Cows, Mosquito's and dead center was his name. "I love it" He tucked it into the box from his Guinea Pigs cage and hugged Maria who rubbed his back a little, he smiled and sat down just in time for Sammy to put a slightly heavy looking package down in front of him.

Clyde tore through the wrapping paper curiously peaking at his Guinea Pig from time to time, that was by far his favorite present and he had trouble looking away from it. "Guys....this is the entire series" he gaped looking at the boxset of his favorite book series as it sat before him, he'd begged his dad for this set but was always told it was too much and felt like this may've been why.

Alexis and Clay A Hamilton CD so he can get sucked into the fandom

"We figured you're old enough to be dragged into Hamilton hell" Alexis smiled watching Clyde open the CD, "we got that when we went to see it, I still feel bad that your dad wouldn't let you come because of your wrist" she said sadly.

"I'll have to give this a listen later" Clyde smiled at her, "from how often Jade sings from it, it must be great" he laughed.

"Mine's best" Kenny grinned passing Clyde a thick envelope, he bobbed his eyebrows watching the boy open it a little and see the small collection of porn magezines which he quickly tucked in with the Les Paul for later.

Token and Butters colaborated to make Clyde a A lettermans jacket with 'Donovan' on the back then nothing but meme patches? Pepe, Kermit, the 'I ain't get no sleep cause of y'all' person, dat boi and more that had Clyde in stitches, Timmy was sweet enough to get him his favorite season of Supernatural on DVD the only season he didn't have. And then Jimmy the beautiful bastard, bought him 1001 jokes: the book with Scott Maklinson who sadly couldn't make it and everyone carefully beaned their beloved comedian with mini marshmallows.

"Okay okay how about instead of trying to make Jimmy diabetic, I got get the Coonyata and we beat it to a pulp?" Maria chimed in after she and Timmy helped Jimmy get mini marshmallows out of his hair, "then we have to clean stuff up if we're done, I promised Token's folks the place would be spotless" she got up ruffling Jimmy's hair to run to Token's shed where she'd hidden the 'Coonyata' and listened to Clyde ask their laughing friends.

"What the fuck is a Coonyata?" Clyde asked doubling their laughter, he looked up hearing 'for he's a jolly good fellow' from Maria as she strung up something that had him howling with laughter.

This monstrosity definitely looked like 'The Coon' but it was lumpy and poorly made (on purpose) and over all he just looked ridiculous but that was what made it perfect, "seeing as you are the birthday boy, you get first three swings" Jade told Clyde grabbing her scarf and blinding him with it before everyone formed a sort of human chain that spun him all the way to Maria who handed the blind dizzy boy the bat and angled him perfectly.

"Swing!" Token cheered with the others, he watched Clyde spin around once before he cracked the Coonyata in the side hard enough to dent it but not break it.

"Jesus" Alfred whispered, he watched Clyde swing two more times managing to clip a foot and knock a hand off.

"Next?" A very dizzy Clyde called out removing the scarf and leaning on the bat, he wretched a little but caught his breath and hobbled his way over to Jade after Token took the bat.

"It's not as fun as the real deal" Jade joked kneading her friends stomach to soothe his nausia, "happy birthday" she smiled at him watching Token seem to work on aiming his swing from the ground up only for an untimely sneeze to throw his aim off causing him to knock the tail off.

"Kenny?" Token waved the bat at the second in command of the 'Freedom Pals' flipping it from handle to front skillfully, "y'know you wanna" he tempted grinning when Kenny took the bat and scarf letting Maria blindfold him while the bat sat on the ground. He was spun 3 times before he did something that kind of confused the gang, he tapped areas of the ground with the bat muttering to himself.

"It's a bat not a golf club Ken" Butters giggled, "swing, I wanna hit him" he told his boyfriend.

"Sorry Leo" Kenny chuckled swinging hard and up knocking the left arm off, "here Buttercup" the blonde slid off the scarf then tied it around Butters' head before kissing the blonde. He laughed hearing 'no grab ass at my birthday' come from Clyde before he twirled Butters three times and handed him the bat, "what's life without a little Chaos" he purred in his blondes ear pinching his ass laughing when Clyde threw a mini marshmallow at him.

Butters yelped slightly startled by the sudden pinch and brought the bat straight up listening to the cheers that followed the satisfying 'Crack' after the bat hit, he uncovered his eyes and laughed seeing that he'd split the Coonyata right between the legs and it now lay in two peices on either side of the sea of candy. He gathered up some of what he knew to be Clyde's favorites and ran a little zigzag path to the boy dumping the tiny 'shirtful' into his lap, "happy birthday" he grinned.

By the time the party was over Clyde was passed out pinning Jade and Token to their spots against the wall, he'd turned Jade into a pillow and as usual Token had become a footrest. Once everyone that could move had helped clean Clay came over to get the birthday boy into the house since it looked like it was gonna rain, everyone filled their arms with gifts and food rushing them inside while Clay took Clyde and his Guinea Pig to the living room sofa. The backyard and the house was spotless when Token's parents arrived, his folks were nice enough to take the children home in groups since even for a wealthier family they didn't have enough car space for roughly 18 kids.

Jade definitely felt like she'd out done herself with this party, she'd never seen Clyde smile that much or heard him laugh that hard in all her knowing him. She left the Lemon Bars with his father and thanked him for letting her host the party, since Clyde had been asleep she, Marion and Clay helped get him and his gifts inside they'd call their parents from here.

#MunsStuff #ToughGuy(Tough-Guy-Clyde) #Please do not reblog #Please do not repost