#HOW COULD U SAY THAT

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[choccy-milky]

MC doing what we all wished we could do (aka napping on the floor with ominis )😴💕

#ill never get over how he just sleeps on the floor its so cute to me and seems so at odds with his personality which makes it better #hogwarts legacy #hphl #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x mc #ominis gaunt x oc #ominis x mc #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy fanart #hey look everyone its my nameless MC aka just brown haired clora LMAOOO #its like when u play a fighting game and you and your friend both choose the same chara. this is clora with a diff colour scheme BAHAHA #this has been in my wips for like a year im not even joking im glad to finally actually draw it properly LMAO #i also love how all of my ominis centric posts involve him on the floor/talking about the floor LMFAOO EVEN THE SMUT ONE #what can i say i just love a man who isnt afraid to chill on the floor ok #also i love a hypocritical man LMAO apparently. i always make seb a hypocrite and now im makin ominis one too #HOW COULD U SLEEP ON THE FLOOR MC? #meanwhile #also srry but dont get ur hopes up for more ominis content anytime soon this was just in my wips and i rly wanted to finally have it done #A RARE TREAT FOR THE OMINIS GIRLIES #choccyart

[brujahinaskirt]

arthur is rude to that one sex worker because the guys are fucking around as they oughtn't be and he actively wants the source of their distraction to go away. that is how he operates through the entire game: deliberate, utilitarian intimidation and strategic unpleasantness to achieve a goal. it is an early game commentary on arthur meant to position him as a big dog that barks. it is not a commentary on his views about women which are clarified many times afterward. you guys realize that right

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #redmeta #this is one of the most wildly misinterpreted but also most obvious scenes where writers are teaching us how arthur moves through the world #i really don't mean to seem short here #i am just exhausted of reddit mentality low literacy “ARTHUR WOULD SHOOT U IN THE FACE FOR FUN HE HATES WOMEN AND SLUTS” takes #my mistake was imagining a world where your average man online could intellectualize about narrative art #unless it is spoonfed to them on a shotty slug that says I'M STRAIGHT BUT I'D LET [MASC CHARACTER] FUCK ME

[p4nishers]

crowley, drunk off his ass: and i was yk just some fucked up soul born in cold and rain but he was my fucking sunlight or whatever

hozier, frantically writing on a napkin: HHHMMMM TELL ME MORE

#hozier is INSANELY azicrow coded and i am going feral over the implications that crowley heard the lines 'if the heavens ever did speak she #the last true mouthpiece' LIKE EXCUSE ME????????? #'u called me angel for the first time my heart leapt from me' and crowley cries himself to sleep #'heaven is not fit to house a love like u and i' and crowley projectile vomits onto the floor #'it cant be unlearned i have known the warmth of your doorways' 'i slithered here from eden just to hide outside ur door' 'though i burn how #could i fall when i am lifted by every word u say to me' and his ass is GONE he has EXPLODED #good omens #inefabble husbands #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #azicrow #hozier #crowley #aziraphale

[archivebottles]

Happy birthday to the most special girl in the universe!! Wanted to try something ambitious and ended up with the biggest comic I've done to date

#signalis #ariane yeong #elster #overestimating elsters ability to paint so ignore how it looks probably way better than she could have done ok? #myart #i have nothing cool to say here i am so tired. i baked a cake from scratch lol and that took so much out of me... #im old.. #im like cycling(hah) thru three diff elster designs bear with me here #elster seems like the type of person to be really good at gifts..kinda feel like u gotta be when ur on the same ship for um like. 15 years

[pineappical]

one of my absolute favorite friendships in the show is Ted and Keeley and i am sooo bummed out that we barely got more scenes with them... 🥺

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanart #keeley jones #SORRY I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW WOMEN I AM A HOMOSEXUAL MAN #this is my second ? time drawing keeley and god i still. dont know howto draw her LMAO #can u imagine how powerful these two couldve been. the drama. the absolute stupidity they could get up to #afc richmond girl's night and ted is there as the honorary Girl #pn.art #for keeley. ted will say yas girl! and crack his wrist #HJKAGJVHGADJHGVJGADJHA #keeley's weird uncle? figure #the rot is neverending <3 #EDIT: THANK YOU CHASE BI4BI BESTIES SO TRUE

[nosfelixculpa]

You think I follow you around because I like you? I'm not worried at all about you. What is there to worry about for you? I'm the one who should be worried. But do you know why I come to see you? Jungkook mumbled on about things which were all incomprehensible. It's because I like your music. When I listen to your music, I get all teared up. Me, I get all teary. I feel like dying about a dozen times a day. But when I listen to your music, I want to live. YOONGI 12 MAY YEAR 22 HYYH; THE NOTES

#creations #gifs #kpop #hyyh #hyyh yoonkook #bangtan #bts #yoongi #jungkook #hyyh the notes #im continuing to be abnormal abt them in the books can u tell is it clear can u tell #if i dont include the fire saving scene and the hug scene i will die btw so thats why there is a repeat gif #also like how i said i didnt like the grain and then proceeded to do it again #i cant decide apparently #i could rustle one of these up for all the pairs but they dont make me quite as insane inside as these ones so we will see #this quote is still so #the fact he says this after running into a burning building to save him #'im not worried abt u' me when i lie when im a liar #'u think i follow u around bc i like u' Yes

[chaosgenasi]

We came to a young world. We came to a world of raw, elemental wonder. Of chaos and exultant passion. Of energy vaster, and more potent than anything we beheld in the cosmos... It doesn’t seem like it’s random or chaos. It just seemed like potential.

#critical role #criticalroleedit #critteredit #aabria iyengar #brennan lee mulligan #matthew mercer #cr exu #cr calamity #cr2 #cr3 #basil.gif #long post #it's about magic it's about potential it's about life it's about stories it's about exandria being a beacon it's about let's do it again #i mean it's also my thoughts on how the luxon maybe made leylines when they impacted/scattered #+ how cool that is when u examine the magic of exandria especially when u consider. luxon = leylines = ether = dunamancy = magic #(some quotes that Almost made it in were matt saying that all magic basically falls under dunamancy + the description of ether) #not to mention the tharizdun connections of a being of elemental chaos & what that could mean for the relationship between the luxon + them #and ruidus and exandria. i also have so many ashton thoughts re: elements + divine + being a fucking beacon but that's for another set lmao #also aabria's!!! dark motes of potential!! what's that about!! i gotta rewatch exu sdfjkh this was just everything off the top of my head #also real spiral shit here but the first person to officially find a beacon post calamity being named leylas. COINCIDENCE. most likely yes #also thinking about draconic being one of the like. languages of magic esp when you think about Elements. but i'm gonna stop now

[luck-of-the-drawings]

THIS THING IS SCUUUFFED AS HELL & ITS ALSO THE BEST THING I HAVE ANIMATED THUS FAR. IM SO IN LOVE WITH EMIZEL. JUST WISH I GAVE HIM MORE STUPID TATTOOS. NEXT TIME THO. NEXT TIME. I ALSO LOVE VEX&VIV SOOOO MUCH. charlies flavor of Deranged is my FAVORITE!!

#cw gore #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #ACTULY FINISHED THIS A WHILE AGO. kept going back n forth between trying to work on it more or call it done #in the end i chose DONE!! i worked on this for a full day n a half. NO idea what possesed me but it is NOT happenin again anytime soon #i shall do better NEXT TIME!! in the meantime tho OH MY GOOOOOD WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABT THE SUCKENING WITH ME #THE FUCKINNN THE FUCKIN THING WITH VEX N VIV BEING THE SHADOW LEADERS OF THE FANGS/DEMONS #OH MMYY GOOOODDD THATS THEIR LIL MEAT GENERATOR... THTS SO FUCKED UP AND COOL UUUGHHH I LOVE THEM... #THEIR FLAVORE IS SO WONDERFUL. I LOOOVE HOW SILLY THEY ARE. MAKING PUNS WHILE PULLIN A SCREAMING VICTIM APART #vex n his lil fashiony art workshop and viv n her sterile n clean doctors office #i bet she doesnt even HAVE a medical liscense. it would be funny if vex did tho. could u imagine #they main MEDIC in tf2 together. viv is the battlemedic while vex only pocket medics for her. COULD U IMAGINE #guh i could go on abt these two forever n ever n ever i LOVE THEMM i gotta draw em more.... #OH ALSO before i run outa room. i should say. i took inspiration from a tf2 animation called POOTIS ENGAGED #the animator. Ceno0. uses black bars in the action sequences in SUCH A COOL WAYYY everytime i watch that video i feel inspired #oneday ill make more complex fight scenes... one day.... #in the meantime UGHHH I LOVE THE SUCKENING SO MUUUCH CAN I JUST FUCKIN SAAAYY THAT I THINK EMIZEL IS A SMART COOKIE!! #THESE PPL FUCKING FEAR HIM NOW!!! 'SHAMIA SHAMI' IS NOW THEIR MORTAL ENEMY!! POWERFUL ILLUSIONIST. CANT DIE. #THAT PART AT THE END THERE WHERE HE FUCKIN. KILLS HIMSELF INFRONTA THEM. THATS SO AWESOME. THATS SO METAL. AND THEN HE COMES BACK!! #I WATCHED EP 7 ASWELL BUT I WONT SPOIL IT HERE. BUT OMYGOD. EMIZEL IS SO COOL AND CAPABLE N SMART N FUNNY N UGHHHHHH I LOVE HIMMMMM #OKAY THATS MY RAMBLE FOR THE DAY THANKYOU FOR READING. I READ ALL TAGS SO YOU SHOULD RAMBLE TOO. IF YOU WANT. IF YOU CAN.

[cactusbaseball]

Do i unfollow one of my favorite blogs bc they hate pierce the veil

#HOW could u say that #are you fucking deaf

[stuckinapril]

i think i really need to learn how to cold quit things... one habit i have that really bothers me is checking my phone first thing in the morning bc it's "just for 5 minutes" "just to see if anyone sent me anything important" no bitch literally nothing on your phone requires you to check your phone first thing when you open your eyes!!! stop it

#i want to keep it cute and say i drink water or some shit but i check my phone THEN drink water guys it's true #i like to think i'm pretty productive / do well w my time bc i get to studying/errands pretty quickly #but sometimes i think about how those minutes spent on my phone could be spent reading the book i said i didn't have time to read #or doing a quick stretching exercise #or just getting myself together before a long day of studying idk. anything really #i need stricter regulations for myself ik it #i am doing good rn but what is good if u could literally be the best just by being off ur phone more

[lesbaurinkos]

people's insistence on Maybe The Curtains Were Just Blue-ing riverdale is so fascinating because you will state the most basic, explicit, incredibly obvious themes of the show and they'll act like you've lost it. and it's like something they make so blatant in the show's text that you can't miss it but like ppl are convinced riverdale somehow cant have any themes at all so they refuse to believe this very obvious reading could possibly be the intention. you could say smthn as basic as "jughead exists both inside and outside the narrative and must forever write the story to keep everyone alive" and they'll be like "lol riverdale fans extrapolating things that aren't there" but it's something they literally actually say out loud in the jughead paradox. rvd fans literally just State What The Show Is About and we die like jesus on the cross for it. and suffer more meaningfully than jesus too

#U PEOPLE ARE VERY ANNOYING SOMETIMES. RVD TAKES UR HAND AND TELLS U ITS ABOUT THE NARRATIVE AND CYCLES AND NEVER ESCAPING THE TOWN #AND YET PEOPLE ON HERE ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT IT COULD BE SO! #we literally are not extrapolating things that arent there. its literally just what the show is about. sorry u hate media analysis! #something something how dare you say we piss on the poor site #riverdale

[sylvies-kablooie]

the fact that O.B. remembers meeting Mobius before indicates that the TVA forgot to wipe his memory because they forgot he was even there at all

#interested to see how that will work as a plot point moving forward #it was kinda written off as a joke but i think it could lead to some interesting conversations #anyway i just think he's neat #personally i would not have forgotten about u OB but what can i say i'm just better than the TVA in many ways #loki tv show #loki #loki tv #loki series #loki s2 #loki show #juni analysis

[watzuu-lmk]

Yo!

Au where mk and swk are born twins

#art-zu #lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk qi xiaotian #Them being same age and siblings kinda changes their dynamic i realize that now #Thats gonna be fun to play with for a while #I think swk would be less arrogant with mk around #Like how u could get one mischievous cat to calm down by giving it another cat companion #But then later on they both act out and be lil shits #Swk's lil shitness is evened out cuz he shares that with mk is what im saying #Just now realizing mk didnt grow up to be like swk and have shitty relationships is because he grows up in a diff environment in canon #Wonder how thats gonna go in this au #Huh #This'll be fun #Smth fun abt making aus is that u can switch up relationship dynamics between characters #This is gonna be either bad or good for them #Twin stones au

[outer-edges]

#btw if rachel zegler looked at me like that i would forgot how to speak english #look at the big brown eyes on this woman #brown eyed man this brown eyed man that LOOK AT THIS WOMAN #this is THEEEEE brown eyed person of all time #WHATEVER YOU SAY GORGEOUS #LITERALLY WHATEVER YOU SAY #rachel zegler #rachelzegleredit #rachelzegler #mattie edits #rzegleredit #rzegler #rachel zegler gifs #also cannot believe the internet tried to get everyone to hate this woman a couple months ago #and i cant believe it worked??? #bro she could kick my cat in front of me and i'd be okay with it #literally because she's just that devastatingly gorgeous #whatever u say gorgeous whatever u say #nobody ask me how long these gifs took it was an embarassingly long time i was trying to overcomplicate it and do a thing but it flopped

[manglam-marfach]

I have a CRYSTAL CLEAR vision of postcanon chillaios political marriage fic where dozens of suitors are vying for Laios's slightly sticky hand & he is. oblivious. Which almost causes a major diplomatic incident. Someone (Kabru) tries to delicately explain that he should probably take a spouse already and Laios is like. Oh cool. Chilchuck? Wanna get married? And Chilchuck who had resigned to let the weird Thing he had for his old coworker die quietly has to fucking deal with THIS now.

#Chilchuck is also kind of fucking shocked and Laios is like. Oh I thought u knew? #I was respecting your professional boundaries. But I thought u knew I was obsessed with u for years? ? ? ? Sorry. Am I making it weird. #Anyway kabru says I need a spouse with good diplomatic skills who can guide and instruct me :) #You've been guiding and instructing me for ever! :) #I know you don't feel the same way as me but maybe it could be good for the halfling community? :) #chilaios #Chilchuck the most private man in the worLD dealing with his new relationship being subject to international scrutiny. Do u see my vision. #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Not an arranged marriage but very much a political marriage ugm? #HOW WILL THIS IMPACT THE BURGEONING HALFLING RIGHTS MOVEMENT