#HE FUCKING KNEADS

[drc00l4tt4]

I fucking love him

#cat mario #catmario #cat mario my beloved #HE FUCKING KNEADS #HE MAKE BISCUT WITH HE PAW #AUGHH I LOVE HIM #ive never been so in love with mario in my life #melvinborg still my ultra bbg but he #he can be my side bbg #mario #mario movie #the super mario bros movie #super mario bros movie #spoilers? maybe? #there was a trailer with him in it so idk #[ dr's hyperfixations ]

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

sneeg kneads. like a cat

#he is either kneading frank or biting the fuck out of him he is never normal

[altarcup]

trust me i will find a way to romanticize aem0nd....

#something something enmeshment = loss of identity something something #the like. shifting and undulating force thats always just beneath the surface of his skin and how SCARY it is when he lets it show!! hmmm. #grumble grumble. being able to shock and terrify just by showing his true face. something something. #the question whether redacted was really an accident or not........ and what both stories mean in relation to his character #and the fact that in the end it almost doesn't matter!!! but did he lie? should he have lied? </3 #the black sheep of a family that is alr baseline fucked!! like my god #hes so scrungly and crunchy. hmmm. kneads him like those pretty little slimes with the charms in them #also!! the way the targs all are so extremely doglike. like its so apparent in the banquet scene/the aftermath #when d**** gets between the boys and a/emond its sm like a big dog correcting a younger one #they are creepy crawly and i loathe this family (im obsessed with them they are like a car crash to me i cannot look away but i am in pain)

[amemesiella]

today's my birthday, thoroughly enjoying it so far

#memes makes art #and by enjoying i mean #crying with laughter while rtgame tries to make pizza dough #HE DIDNT KNEAD THE FUCKING DOUGH IM GOING TO CRY

[ziskandra]

If your pet could talk, what do you think they might say about you?

Firstly, I have no idea how you come up with these questions but I love them fjdjfj 💞

Secondly, I think it would depend on the pet.

Murphy? Probably some variant of “Mother never feeds me, I am but skin and bones, but at least they have brought Father into our lives, and Father can be Trusted™️ For that, I will lavish Mother with eternal devotion”

Pictured: Murphy awaiting his next meal

Maya, on the other hand, is probably just like “Mum’s okay, but I don’t love them enough to express my anal glands in their vicinity when we cuddle. Only Dad gets that special privilege.”

Pictured: Maya, non-stinky edition, because my fiancé is absent.

#asha answers #cats #never4get the time my fiancé brought maya to the vet bc he was worried her glands might be blocked #(his last cat had experienced frequent issues with that) #and the vet was just like well good news she’s not sick she’s just REALLY REALLY fond of you #meanwhile i just get murphy kneading on my face sometimes #and you know what #i’m not complaining #oh and she is named for maya fey ace attorney for those playing along at home #anyway murphy was a stray so he’s super food oriented #and maya is just obsessed with my partner lol #she’s also very timid so she will run to me for cuddles if there are Strange Occurrences afoot #murphy meanwhile fucking LOVES people #if he is not allowed to meet a guest he will make his displeasure known #THOSE ARE FOOD AND AFFECTION SOURCES #anyway my partner does most of the pet care stuff around the house these days bc of his more consistent schedule #thank you for the ask!! 💞 #mxkelsifer #about me #asha tag rambles

[fractallogic]

Anyway, now that I’ve been awake for almost three hours and haven’t eaten, and have also established that it’s kind of chilly and dreary outside, and have read the whole maltese cookbook, AND have learned that of all places, fucking WHOLE FOODS might have the cheapest tofu of anywhere(?!), I no longer want to go to the gym, I want to cook warm delicious dishes

However I will also feel very strong if I do go to the gym and then can also still cook warm and delicious dishes

I could even theoretically cook some Maltese spinach and anchovy … pies? tartlets? (qassatat, idk) because they call for a short crust, which is easy and much easier than doing a ton of laminating for pastizzi, and I have everything except the spinach, and I should go to the store anyways. And actually I want more dubu jorim for dinner. And I want to make this gochujang-miso-teriyaki mushroom soup that kikkoman advertised to me (but the key ingredient is only sold at the Asian market way down south).

I should maybe eat some breakfast and something more substantial than a protein shake??? Maybe???

#hello I am an idiot #but I can fix at least part of that by fucking eating something #and finally cleaning off some weird sticky goo that is in my fridge #maybe today I will get a maple bar. #hmmm. #what if I started making ftira #the recipe in the cookbook is no knead #I could just start it and let it sit in the fridge #boy. I miss malta a lot #maybe I can convince scone to go there with me as one of our first vacations together when he gets here

[insidiousclouds]

Sobbing,, crying,,,

His name is Simon Garfunkel (or just Simon)

#kitty posting #simon garfunkel #simon cat #i just got him today #ive never had a cat before #much less a kitten #and my heart is fucking melting #he keeps kneading and purring #i cry

[arundolyn]

the most content little man on earth rn

#crow.txt #he is purring he is kneading the blanket he is fucking Chilling he is baby

[ohimsummer]

I have this really cute video of my grandmas cat making biscuits on me after I had a breakdown because he is a sweetheart, do I post a face reveal yes or yes

#it made me so fucking happy omfg bc I felt like absolute shit #and he came and sat under my chin and kneaded my arm?? #and I felt so blessed omg??

[orcelito]

Little menace

#speculation nation #cassidy #cats #i have realized that tally does not use claws much bc cassy Does #i have to b careful when fucking with him bc he Will whack me with some claws lol #playful fucking with him. ya kno. poking at a cat in play time. #u can see him having sooo much fun in these pics. scratching me several times. #oh also he loves to knead whatever hes laying on. With Claws. #my poor inner legs... thru the blankets... all poked and prodded... ouchie lol #him shifting a LITTLE too high and me. panicked. pushing him away like 'PLS do not use ur claws there. thanks.' #he is. an interesting cat for sure. #bed time soon lol. he's not gonna be happy.

[fooltofancy]

wyvern just did the stupidest most adorable thing with his goddamn little marshmallow feet and like.

#me: that was so fucking cute #carrie: it was physically painful #he was lying down and not actually kneading the blanket he just kind of #fully curled up #just patted the blanket right in front of him with the tiniest pats #like eight times

[allthegothihopgirls]

he said my cat looks like he wants to commit a war crime

#maybe i'll commit a fucking war crime if you accuse my cat of being anything other than the innocent holy being he is #alden is the purest little bean ever and he does not deserve this kind of treatment #let the big man knead and purr in peace #alden updates #. #gothihop speaks

[gonzodangerfeels]

You want a real rush?

Be sitting on the throne dropping a deuce and hear a fucking angry 180 lb bull mastiff attacking a puppy that weighs less than 20 pounds

Underwear draped around my ankles I get up and hop twice to get out of the bathroom, standing I and jumping a three foot dog gate into the kitchen, quick hops across the kitchen; another jump over a wooden dog gate and two hops to tackle a 180 lb dog and clamp that mother fucker in a head lock with one leg trapped keeping my head so tight against his lower neck I was clear of his angry fat head and mouth(this was a very large mother fucking dog) and pulled the behemoth off the puppy while putting my hand out to keep the puppy away from the mouth.

And then I am sitting there with my dick hanging out, an ass in need of wiping, my underwear at this point twisted around my ankles and a huge angry dog in my clutches.

I am like, "KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF MOTHER FUCKER OR I WILL KILL YOU"

And my large dog returned to a normal state of temperament. I was able to finish taking a shit with an adrenaline dump.

Oh and I did get to wipe my ass eventually.

#perhaps a cast I don't remember #did I save the puppy's life perhaps but there was no thought it was all action #it's funny looking back seeing it yanno but that shit was fucking insane when it happened #like old fathead having dreams of Merlin beating his ass when he was a pup #not biting or attacking him #but it was funny as shit watching a 40 pound dog roll an idiotic 120 pound dufus #like something set that dog off that day #it is a shame those things only get about 5 maybe 6 good years before their size is their own downfall #just feed him sedatives was their solution*shrugs* #all the hounds of hell will obey me when the time calls #I put a bit of myself in my dogs #always gotta get a new puppy as soon as the other leaves like people are like cats are ao smart #shit dogs got people too #it is more of an empathy thing a different intelligence #cats are just clever little assholes #wow it cam jump up on something and bat shit #it is also stupid to go hide in an inescapable palm tree #like outdoor cats are fine unless one jumps in your arms and won't let the fuck go #kneading my shit #meeooolow #like ok you don't even know me cat #me considering the shapes of 11 amd 13 though yanno #if something makes Cannon happy she is gonna be like yo what's going on here #in a garden under the lord of Spirit who knows #sneaking that shit in when he was a baby #Oh all the men in this family have that....so.... like...hehe

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - non/con, manipulation, mentions of breeding, and unbalanced power dynamics.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's ecstatic the day his owner, Suguru, brings you home. He's the pinnacle of a spoiled pet, constantly showered in toys and treats and affection, but his owner's a busy man, and he tends to sulk when left home alone. He's had other companions before, another leopard hybrid who nearly killed him before being released back into the wild and a black panther who somehow proved to be a worse influence on Satoru than Satoru was on her, but you're supposed to be more permanent solution, another hosuepet to keep him company when Suguru can't. You're a sweet little housecat, all wide-eyes and raised ears, but still, Suguru wouldn't be surprised if you're begging to go back to the shelter less than an hour after meeting your new roommate.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who falls in love with you immediately. Suguru practically has to keep him in a chokehold while you explore your new home, eventually curling up on your new bed. Satoru's on top of you as soon as he gets loose, purring obnoxiously while he runs his bristled tongue over your cheek. Suguru's half-convinced that your first day's going to end with bloody claws and bandages, but you only nuzzle into his chest and knead at the blankets underneath you. Satoru's a difficult cat to put up with, and Suguru's relieved that you, at least, find him tolerable.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's absolutely massive compared to you. The tips of your pointed ears barely reach his collarbones, and your wrist is only as thick as his fluffy tail. His favorite hobby quickly becomes carrying you from room to room despite your softly mewled protests, and he's not happy unless he's pressed against you as closely as possible. He used to force himself into Suguru's lap whenever possible, but now, he's unbearable unless you're sitting pretty in his. He doesn't even complain when you lose your temper and dig your little fangs (barely half the size of his - a poor imitation of a real predator's) into his arm, just grinning as he tugs at your ears and pinches your cheeks. He's not exactly a wild animal, but he's still at the top of his food chain. You're not quite a mouse, but you might as well be, compared to him.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's calling you his mate after less than a full month. You don't know what it means, often parroting it back as more of a question than a term of endearment, and Suguru just brushes it off as Satoru being deliberately irritating. He keeps it up, though. even after you start refusing to respond to it.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who starts introducing you to new "games". You know you don't stand a chance against him, but somehow, he always manages to goad you into roughhousing, into squirming as he pins you under his full weight. He likes to dangle things above your head, to see how long it takes your instincts to get the best of you before your chest is pressed against his and you're pouting so adorably as you jump and bat at his hand. Sometimes, when you fall asleep mid-grooming session, he'll let his mouth wander lower than it should, and you'll wake up to his tongue lapping over your chest, his face buried between your thighs in a way that leaves you teary-eyed and warm. You've tried to tell Suguru, but you always get embarrassed and end up mumbling something as vague as 'Satoru's being mean to me, again.' In the end, Satoru only ever gets a slap on the wrist and a new reason to tease you, next time Suguru turns his back.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who fucks you whenever Suguru isn't home. He planned on waiting for your first heat (delayed by your shelter suppressants and the stress of a new home), and he knows he's not supposed to, but he just can't get enough of having your smaller body curled up underneath his, your tail thrashing from side to side as he lazily rolls his hips against yours. You tend to whine, at first, to go on and on about how weird it feels and how much it hurts, but as soon he gets his cock inside of you, all those complaints tend to go away. It's almost funny, how easily your stupid little kitty mind gets all hazy and cockdrunk. He always loves you, but he loves you most when you're drooling and purring for his cum, begging him to breed you properly between hitched moans.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's not even mad when Suguru catches him bouncing your half-conscious, fucked-out body on his cock. He wants to be the best possible mate for you, and he couldn't do that if he wasn't willing to show you off <3

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #hybrid au #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #yandere jjk #yandere gojo #yandere gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #yanderecore #yancore

[mommypieck]

⌗︙・megumi pushes his whole body on top of yours when he fucks you ⸜⸜・

one thing megumi does when he fucks you is that he puts his whole weight on top of you. he just can't help it. he knows he's too heavy but he just wants to be as close to you as possible. he loves to do it especially when he's fucking you doggy.

"feel so good." he moans, drilling his cock inside of your cute little pussy. his body is stretched all along your back so that his face is close to yours. you can feel his hitched breaths on your neck and cheeks plus you can hear his moans clearly. megumi grabs your boobs with one hand, kneading them while he tries his best not to fall on top of your completely. that's until your arms give up from how good he's fucking you and the top half of your body falls on the mattress. now he has the perfect view of your perky butt and he just wishes to eat it after he's gone with fucking you.

"are you ready for my cum?" he asks, sounding all breathy. you're close to your release too, his cock hits the best places inside of your pussy. after few more thrusts, both of you are cumming at the same time. you can feel the warm ropes of his cum filling your insides, making you feel funny inside.

"thank you so much baby for making me cum. let me eat it now."

#jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi smut #megumi fushiguro smut #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro x y/n #megumi fushiguro x you