#Grandpa is not dead yet

[little-pondhead]

Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

#pondhead blurbs #dpxdc #alfred is now their grandpa #i just want alfred to meet danny and his group of friends and unironically call him 'your majesty' and danny HATES it #like this is the guy who's gonna be my butler/caretaker after he dies? please man just say my name #it's not a cursed name i swear #no one else knows how to feel #cause like #if the contract wasn't in place everyone was sure Alfred would haunt the manor even after death due to his devotion to the wayne family #but now he's already got a job in the afterlife #so how will the bats see their father/grandfather figure now? #Bruce: the obvious solution is to adopt these random kids who still have families so alfred never has to leave :) #alfred isn't even dead yet but the bats are speedrunning their grief in like a week

[holyshit]

.

#just found out my grandpa has metastatic cancer #i feel like the hits just keep coming back to back since late 2020 and i'm just... so tired and dead inside #like a hole that i'm finding increasingly harder to climb out of #i will be ok but fucking hell #he hasn't been staged yet so if anyone could just. put some kind of good vibes into the universe for him #i would appreciate it

[imminent-danger-came]

Can we take a moment to appreciate how many hats SWK manages to keep crammed on his head in lmk?

That man was doomed by the narrative, is mourned by the narrative, is and was haunted by the narrative AND is haunting the narrative, all at the same time! And lmk isn’t his story, and he doesn’t think of it as his story, and he doesn’t want it to be his story, but it’s also exactly his story, just a little to the left, and he is trying to remove himself from this new story, but also can't escape it because this isn't his story but also it is, and he's taking steps to ensure this don’t end up like his story, and is accidentally contributing to problems that are making it like his story all over again as a result. What a character!

To quote Anne Carson,

"To live past the end of your myth is a perilous thing".

I think, strangely enough, most characters in Lego Monkie Kid are living past the end of their myth (jttw). You have Wukong who is the only original pilgrim still alive and around, you have Tang, Mei, Pigsy, and Sandy who are all reincarnations of the pilgrims (supposedly), and then you have all the antagonists who try and continue their stories in their own way. DBK was freed from under the mountain, almost killing his wife and son in his continued pursuit of world domination. LBD escaped her prison early, continuing her plan for a perfect world which ended in her defeat, her end. Spider Queen refused to accept the end of her empire, and ultimately was killed by LBD for it. Azure Lion had been sealed in the scroll, and after being released immediately tried to continue his rebellion, his hubris, martyrdom, and refusal to change becoming his downfall.

I think in Wukong's own way, he does something similar—falling into old habits and becoming his own undoing. His search for the samadhi fire was exactly what Macaque was upset about in the 4x11 argument:

"You're the one always running off! Searching for more power, or more sources of immortality: you're the one who wouldn't quit while we were ahead!"

MK earlier in the special makes the point "Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be." to which Macaque replies, "Wukong didn't think so, he always thought he had to be stronger—more immortal." And that's what he does in s2 isn't it? He still isn't strong enough. He can't defeat LBD, so he has to go find the power that will make him strong enough to do just that—and Wukong finds the samadhi fire. Which in turn leaves MK behind, and has him relive his life's story again.

Like, this dude is CRAZZZYYYY

#literally one of the character of all time #Don't even get me started on the og pilgrims living past the end of their myths through the main gang #Like. COME ON DUDE #COME ON #THEY'RE ALL JUST DEAD MEN BRO #WITH THEIR INHERITED DEAD MAN WEAPONS #MEI'S DOUBLY SO #Everyone is just carrying on their stories that should have ended a long time ago #Which is such a fun take since this is a ''modern retelling'' #They are like. ''This is a modern retelling but should this story be retold? Should it continue?'' #Yet they're also like ''Telling the same stores of friendship and courage and redemption are part of being human'' #And I'm like. bro #BRO #story motif is everything to me #Cause you know like in 4x03. When Tang is like ''The next chapter is calling...it's time to answer the call!'' #And the way that none of the characters do that lol. Lmao #Like they sure should move on but they don't. Lol. Lmao #I'm insane about it. I'm losing my mind #Like they had the stupid fucking boneless skinless grandpa parallel most of their characters do you know how insane I feel #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk analysis #story motif #lmk SWK #asks #anne carson #also didn't check to make sure the things I quoted were 100% correct #Like I think I've just memorized it. But I'm not sure #Oh well

[bambiraptorx]

At least he used to be. (I like to think I'm funny)

Also, fun fact! I finally decided to give this AU a name so I don't have to keep calling it some variation of "the Raph goes too far back in time" AU. Its name is I'm Not Dead Yet.

#rottmnt #rottmnt au #i'm not dead yet au #future raph au #rottmnt raph #rottmnt big mama #big mama #raphael hamato #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #my art #the title is kinda funny to me #because as well as being fitting for raph's development in this fic (what i have planned so far at least) #its also lowkey a reference to two different songs and an inside joke with my grandpa

[did-diggy-die-yet]

Do your homework, kids! Do that assigned reading right now. Work on that essay a little bit everyday so you don't get overwhelmed too much later. Yes, I know it sucks and that higher education is kind of a huge scam in this late-stage capitalist, gig-oriented world, but there are some folks in power who seriously want to take away your access to knowledge —even relatively basic forms of it— so don't squander your chances to learn as much as you can, while you still can, especially with all that amazing free time being young affords you. Do not give these fuckheads the power advantage that comes with head empty.

I don't mean to scare ya, but knowledge truly is power, and you can't fight against oppressive forces if you aren't even aware that the forces at play are oppressive in the first place. So, treasure your teachers. Share your knowledge of the world with your peers, and please, continue to listen intently to those who volunteer to share their knowledge with you. This mutual exchange could very well save us in an ever more hostile world. Don't let the world kill your curiosity, and never stop learning. It's that drive and a open mind that will keep you young, I promise.

Oh, and a healthy back. Please, getting into the habit of doing regular stretchs for your back, shoulders and joints. You'll thank me later.

#important psa #from Grandpa gene #I'm serious take care of yourselves and others please!!! #also diggy ain't dead yet #hivemind tv #hivemind dignan

[sunnixsunshine]

The leg warmers are a strong choice, but I think she would personally love them despite the poor combination. And the gloves are from hottopic specifically.

#was gonna incorporate some pakistani elements into this but i didnt know how to keep it simple yet as intricate as some of the patterns #i looked at #there just wasnt a good balance i could find in this art style without making it look too out #out of place or cluttered at least #oh well maybe ill experiment with that more in another more detailed style another time #oh btw i hc her to be from pakistan #well her ancestry ig? she did live a majority of her life on an island with her stuffed dead grandpa and a dog #when i redesign dave's god tier im either gonna give him hollywood knight or historically accurate knight idk yet #and ive got nothing for june and rose so far #wip #homestuck #jade harley

[joleneghoul]

Rip to everyone in time masters 1990: youre all pissing me off and driving me insane...✋️except tony who is awesome 👍

#its so funny that rip fully snaps at corky when corky is like is tony dead yet and rips like OMFG GO GET HIT BY A CAR #his little hands behind the back shy pose hes so grandpa coded #when tonys life is in danger in medieval times and rips like TONY SHOOT THEM WITH THE GUN I GAVE YOU

[m3ab]

Guess who found the manga!!

but this is an interesting panel... Grandpa is explaining how he found the last piece and Yugi is just in the background praising it....

#i love this so much #i also appreciate the gag that the puzzle is a momento of grandpa #And grandpa keeps yelling that he's not dead yet #yu gi oh #yugioh #ygo #yugi moto #Yu-Gi-Oh

[dyketubbo]

btw a death in the family happened this morning so. going to be alternating from falling off the face of the earth and completely throwing myself into whatever i can as a distraction . bc today is not going to go great i think

#paternal grandpa died of a heart attack n grandma woke up to him dead. woke up my dad calling him to give the news #so we're meeting up with family bc. yeah #sudden but. hes had heart problems since before i was born and he hated doctors so. not exactly unexpected #but it hasnt really set in yet so. gotta get some coping in before i become an inconsolable wreck yknow how it is #personal #mask mews

[swankpalanquin]

never feel more secure in my future as an old man than when i'm eating tinned fish and pickles for dinner

#reminds me of my great grandpa who used to eat pickled pigs feet lol... have not tried that yet #he used to bring us fish dinners from the fish fry during lent and cans of juicy juice #he had a heart attack at my fifth or sixth birthday party (don't remember exactly) and died a month or so later #i've been thinking of dead family members a lot lately... not sure why :\

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I love koi fish. I have a vivid memory of my grandparents having koi fish in their pond in the backyard. I was not born yet when there were fish in the pond. I remember them being orange and apparently they were

#I don’t know how I remember it #I’ve started collecting koi fish recently #my room is a little too teal and grey teen aesthetic #and everything is centered on my akko monet koi fish keyboard #so I thought I’d start adding some little koi fish #and all of the sudden one day I just like. remembered seeing those koi fish in the pond #and I was on the phone with my mom today and I’m like. were there fish in the pond in grandma’s yard? #and she said yeah. and I’m like were they koi fish? and she’s like well yeah #but I don’t think they were still in there after you were born #and I showed her a picture of some little ceramic koi fish. one was orange and she says yeah they looked like those #and I’m dead sure they were orange #and she says well maybe they were still there but they died so quickly and they were put in shortly after the pond was installed so Idk #and im like describing the memory and she goes well maybe you were alive #but I remember the pond always being there. I really don’t think I was born yet #my grandma who lived in that house recently died #and for whatever reason it’s only after she died that I could remember that. I’ve loved koi fish for years now so I’m not sure why I #only remembered afterwards. I don’t know. it’s weird. but it does make me miss my grandma a lot #rip grandma #I should fly home to see my grandpa. he isn’t doing very good #dementia is Not something u wanna see anyone go thru #0/10 would not recommend #not sure what wires in my head crossed to create that memory #but it’s a nice one #soup talks

[unfortunately-obsessed]

Bruce with baby!Jason and toddler!Dick

Dick figuring out words but moves like he has no bones, cartwheeling, and Bruce has to keep running before him because Dick forgets the room eventually ends and then gets his forehead straight into a wall

Baby Jason Soo sweet and affectionate. Doesn't know how to give Bruce kisses so he'll kiss Bruce by bitting (but don't worry he doesn't have teeth yet)

Baby Jason being carried by toddler Dick is SOOO cute. Alfred taking pics, he's a proud grandpa

Dick likes when Bruce holds him upside down and giggles so loud it echoes. Jason who sometimes get so tired but still want to stay awake to play with Dick and Bruce

Jason will eat anything if he sees his big brother eating too. Jason who loves to watch cartoon with stories. He'll nod along to what Bruce says to him

Bruce getting back from a mission, says "ouch". Jason sees it, says "ooouch?"

Bruce will be talking to Dick and Jason will start to cry because he wants to be included in the conversation! He'll even babble along

One of those grey but comforting evenings where there's lots of rain and wind, Bruce flat out dead (sleeping) in the couch, Jason napping in his chest, Dick between the couch and Bruce and using his arm (that is not holding Jason up) as a pillow, snoring

Jason that pouts when he's focused (playing with his teether). Isn't easily tickled but does laugh when Bruce kisses his feet

His first word is "dick"

#Jason todd #young jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #dc #jason todd #me!rambles #me!random #batfam #batfam hcs #me!batfam

[imjustexistingtbh]

of freaking course.

as if everything that’s happened this week hasn’t been enough, we just discovered a leak outside my bedroom. i’m now clearing everything out of my room so it doesn’t get soaked, my dad sawed a hole in the wall to access what we thought was the issue (it doesn’t seem to be), and half my belongings are damp, including my camera. we don’t know where it’s coming from, but the floor and walls are wet. of course.

#AUGHGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH #SCREAMS AND SCREAMS AND SCREAMS AND SCREEEAAAAAMMMMMSSSSSSSSSS #AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #OF COURSE IT ISNT FREAKING ENOUGH #OF FREAKING COURSE IT ISNT #IM SO FREAKING TIRED. IM TIRED OF CRYING EVERY SINGLE DAY AFTER A GRANDPA THAT WILL NEVER REMEMBER ME AGAIN #IM TIRED OF WATCHING ALL MY MEMORIES OF HIM GO DOWN THE DRAIN AS I DONT EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME HE REMEMBERED ME #IM TIRED OF GRIEVING EVEN THOUGH HE HASNT EVEN GONE YET. IM TIRED OF SEEING HIM ALL BUT DEAD IN A BED WHERE HE CANT EVEN SPEAK #IM TIRED OF THIS #IM SO FREAKING DONE #i just need a break #i need a freaking break #i need to sleep a single night without sobbing or having to take care of my little brothers because my parents are at the hospital #or a freaking pipe breaking and soaking half of my closet #i need a break. i’m so tired. #god. #just jupiter #vent #rant #death tw

[wekillitwithfire]

honest to god i think i can like. feel it in my bones whenever a family member dies or right before they die

#rip grandpa #i knew you were dead eleven hours before anyone broke the news #death ment tw #WAIT he wasn’t even dead yet when i got the feeling #it was two hours beforehand

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Family? Assemble!

Reporter: Gotham News, and we have a new supervillain on the line. Mr Phantom, what are your demands at the moment? Phantom with lack of sleep and with tears: I..I want a titanium model of a spaceship! And to get a good night’s sleep and to go to the local school…and some fudge and.. Reporter: Oh, my bad. Just one question for clarification, are you by any chance an orphan or are your parents villains? Phantom: I prefer the term mad scientists Reporter: Okay. So, Gotham news! And with me on the line is the new potential child of Wayne or Batman. Want to know how two serial adopters will share a child leading a double life? Stay with us and find out. Now let's check in with Jessie for our weather report. Phantom: Wait, what?

~~~~~

Danny spends the night running from the Red Hood with a bag of fudge, Red Robin with a pot of coffee, Batman with the adoption papers and, for some reason, Brucie Wayne with an idea of internship at a space station. Ha! The Justice League will never let a ghost into orbit. Not that Wayne can blackmail superheroes or smth. Danny: Fuck you all! I’m done with vigilante activity, I’m not your competitor! What do you want from me? And I’m done with crazy billionaires too. I swear, I’d rather be adopted by a local mob boss just to piss you off! ~Later~ Danny *sees peering out of the corner Matches Malone*: Are you kidding me?! Robbie *jumps off the roof and lands right behind Danny*: Stop running, lil brother, No one’s left the family yet. Minnie: What about Neal? Robbie *shakes a knife with a bow on the handle negatively*: He’s on sabbatical, that doesn’t count. Anyway, it’s a gift for you, cub. Danny: Um, thank you, but my lab scalpels are definitely sterile, and your blade was in who knows who before you brought it here. Robbie: It’s brand-new! And Archie decorated it with a ghost on the handle. Look! It's cute! With a smile and… Dick: Hands up! You’re under arrest for trying to steal our new member! Minnie: Why is he yours, damn cop? Selina: Boys, don’t fight. He’s mine. Schrodinger’s cat is still a kitten. Killer Croc: No way, my niece is staying with me. Danny: Uncle Waylon? Long time no see. Ra's: My grandson needs steady access to ectoplasm. Danyal, come with me. Danny: Over my dead body! Oh shiii…I mean no. Anyway, don’t you think the alley’s getting a little crowded?

~~~~

Killer Croc: Is he still mad at me? RR: Danny doesn’t talk to uncles who tried to eat his beloved brother Red Robin. Killer Croc: He wasn’t even your brother then. What do you want? An apology from me? RR: That would be nice.

~~~~

Danny: I didn’t think the GIW agents would really fear the reputation of Gotham and not follow me. What a relief! Jason *quickly throws the knife into the sink*: Wow, you got lucky. Alfred: Master Jones, why don’t you eat your steak? I thought last week you were complaining to Batman that 'cause of him you got not many prey. Croc *pulls a piece of white robe from the teeth*: Well, now there is a lot of it. Bruce *gives Jason and Croc the side-eye*.

~~~~

Ra's: You do realize that Malone, Wayne and Batman are the same person, right? Boy, you were born into a family of geniuses, don’t disappoint Grandpa. Danny: Triple pocket money, triple gifts for the holidays, the opportunity to complain about the same family member three times. No, Grandpa, I definitely don’t understand. Ra's: Smart little weasel.

~~~~

Selina: Okay. Purely theoretical. Do you like to steal? Danny: I wouldn’t say that. But somehow I stole the sword from the fright knight. And also stole few jewels but then I was under the mind control. I returned them. Well, the crown and ring of the king of the ghost zone I also took without permission. Oh, and the answers to the test once. And I’m really sorry about the last one. Neal: I feel the story behind it but I prefer to know nothing about it.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc prompts #dpxdc prompt #dpxdc memes #dpxdc meme #rip giw

[did-diggy-die-yet]

Just going to put this here because I know y'all are young and I don't want you falling for this grift. If you hear any liberals of high notoriety (*cough* Nancy Pelosi *cough*) trying to suggest that Free Palestinian protesters calling for a ceasefire are spreading "Mr. Putin's message", that "some [protesters] are connected to Russia," and that "the FBI should investigate their funding;" yeah, that's basically the same trick they tried to pull on civil rights activists, anti-Vietnam war activists, and tbh, just any vaguely leftist movement during the late 60s-early 70's. Especially the hippies, who were honestly some of the most useless leftists in practice, i'm sorry, it's kinda true. (I should know, I've been researching this time period for a story I'm writing for a while now.)

Also, a lot of the money being used to fund Isnotreal right now was originally being sent to Ukraine. They are counting on you to forget that. Putin's "message" or whatever the fuck, directly benefits from there never being a ceasefire, because as much as the US loves funding proxy wars, they're not very good at multitasking, especially not with their money or resources; I mean looking at the state of this country's infrastructure is enough to prove that. Lol. But yeah, the US put their allyship with Zelenskyy on the back burner MONTHS AGO, that alone is doing more to help Putin out than anything the protestors outside of Nancy's house could be doing. Yeah, that's literally all this is about, she's just mad that people are hanging out in front of her house again.

Pelosi has been huffing the US's imperialist farts for so long, she can't even keep her details straight. If you live in California, remember, she's up for reelection this year. Do with that information, what you will. 😌

#a message from Grandpa Gene #don't fall for the grift #also diggy ain't dead yet