#Gender Vent

[eternalplutoniangoddess]

Big Euphoria Moment

I love being a guy that looks like a girl. I'm not too feminine, but I love my appearance. I'm nonbinary and a trans guy. I have body dysphoria, but I fucking love my face. Even though I'm a guy, I kinda like passing as a chick. I think of myself as a boygirl. I love that I'm a daughter/son simultaneously. I'm a granddaughter and a grandson. In the future, mom and dad. I don't identify as a woman, never really have, but those labels really don't bother me. I'll never be a damn wife, part of that is being arospec and I'd rather be referred to as husband/partner/spouse.

I just love being in my little androgynous era.

#gender expression #gender euphoria #androgynous #transgender #trans #trans guy #ftm #nonbinary #nb #enby #bigender #gender nonconforming #queer #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gender vent #ramblings

[katsuocox]

Duncan...el delincuente...

De la primera temporada. No termino de ver las otras...por ahora

Y si...quiero waifu bruh

#td duncan #total drama duncan #fanart #gender vent #total drama island

[feral-trans-faerieboy]

"But we're you intersex in the afab way or amab way growing up?"

NO. You're now owed that info in order to decide if I've been opressed for my gender actually. You don't suddenly get to walk up and ask me the same genital questions you don't want the cis asking you.

I'm trans, I'm intersex, I want to live in fucking peace

#fuck transmeds #intersex trans things #gender vent

[iloveyouemanuelmarco]

Ok so I might sound kinda crazy but hear me out, do you ever feel like you're cis when you're transgender based on reality? I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense so lemme explain my situation to you a little bit but please be aware it's probably not gonna make much sense to anyone other than me and hopefully a few other people I guess? But whatever, anyways: So basically to start us off at the beginning, I've known I was somewhere on the transgender/genderqueer spectrum for like I think a few years now or atleast 1-2 if that's important and at first it was like I was fine with not being completly a girl, but at the same time it didn't feel like a big deal because I was still mostly a girl and I had the idea that no one would get mad at me if I just lived like a cis person when I actually felt like a demigirl or something related to that because I still liked being feminine while at the same time I wasn't completly female like my birth gender. Then, awhile later I realized I felt more boyish when it came to my gender identity, but at the same time felt more girly and felt my sexuality changing it's personal definition so I was like..."Yo wtf why am I getting so upset all of a sudden being feminine? I atleast thought it wouldn't be that bad" because on certain days I would get dysphoric but also be ok on other days. Keep in mind, this was around the time still where younger me was being influenced by the transmedicalist/truscum debate points that were more popular on the internet to say the least so it was obviously gonna be negative and cause me to push those feelings of mine aside for not wanting to be seen as a "trender" or someone fake or whatever. Ofcourse I would eventually grow out of that and realize with the internet that all trans people are different and that you don't have to pick between trans boy, trans girl and nonbinary" which was slowly turning into a binary at some point by cis people. Blah blah blah, eventually I decided that I was a trans dude(ftm) but also genderfluid which is sorta accurate today but I felt more bigender then when I identified as such than anything now so I don't know uhh. Why'd I bring up all this past gender and sexuality spectrum clutter again??Oh right, because I've been noticing changes with how I present myself atleast sorta recently. To keep it somewhat sane-sounding, for the past 4 months at the very least, while I do recognize that I am technically and realistically a trans boy due to being afab, at the same time for some odd reason, I keep feeling...like a cis-ajacent man for a lack of a better term? Like its not that I wanna be some sort of "pick-me" or whatever, far from it actually but like...I do identify with the label being ftm but at the same time apart of me doesn't because I already am a man despite not being like that at birth???I feel less like a trans guy and more like a feminine cis dude trapped in a mostly female body??I know it doesn't sound accurate to you all but I hope it somewhat can make sense later? Tbh it's better when explained verbally irl than like me attempting to write down a complicated experience of mine coherently. I don't wanna be a cis male either since they hurt so many people so there's that...

#Gender Fuckery #Gender Vent #Gender Dysphoria #Genderqueer #MOGAI #Gender Nonconforming #GNC #GNC Trans #Transgender #Transgender Community #Trans #Trans Community #Trans Boy #Trans Dude #Trans Man #Transgender Boy #Transgender Man #Feminine Man #Queer #Queer Community #Queer Masculinity #LGBTQIAPlus #LGBTQIA+ #LGBTQIA Community #LGBTQIA #LGBTQIAPlus Community #LGBTQIA+ Community #FTM #Genderfluid #BiGender

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Fun fact about my agender ass I fully believed that gender identity did not exist until I was like fourteen

Like I had not experienced it so I assumed nobody else had. Now I know that gender, the gender binary, gender roles, are all social constructs, but from my understanding, gender identity isn't. Many many people are born with a gender identity in their brain, and sometimes it is the one they are expected to have, and sometimes it isn't, and sometimes it changes over time, and sometimes it develops over time, but most people have some gender identity in some way.

I, as well as some other people, just, don't.

And I had no way of knowing that anyone else experienced this. I really thought it was just a game everyone agreed to play. You get assigned a blue pinny or a yellow pinny in gym class and that's that. It kinda sucks but that's the game. It's not like "blue pinny" is a part of your identity, it's just an arbitrary assignment. You might wish you were on the yellow pinny team, because they get a head start in the dodgeball game, but you don't identify as a yellow pinny team member. And that is exactly how I saw, and still see my own gender.

And I have to apologize for this but this resulted in, when I was young, transphobia. It wasn't the violent kind you often see today, but it was dismissive and distasteful. Obviously I'm not proud of it. But I thought "how the fuck can you identify as a gender aside from your AGAB? Nobody "identifies" as anything you just take the assignment and go so ObViOuSlY it's made up." And I was talking to my sister about this and was like "I mean if you woke up in an alternate universe where you were a man, it would be no issue at all, right? I mean aside from having to get used to different body parts and being treated differently, it would be fine" and she was like "no???? Tf??? I'd be really upset!"

And that right there rocked my fucking shit and turned my world upside down. Anyway I learned a lot since then and I support everyone and their gender identities now, obviously, as it was over a decade ago. I realized that "I guess I'm a girl because I was born that way and I don't care enough to change it, even though I literally hate being perceived as a girl I'd hate being perceived as any other gender just as much" doesn't actually make me cis (shock!!) This is also why I much prefer the term agender to nonbinary. I've been asked if I'm nonbinary when I say I'm agender, and I know some agender people identify as nonbinary (power to you!) But to me, "non-binary" feels like a gender identity that is. Well. Nonbinary lol. It's like asking an atheist "so you have a non-Abrahamic faith?" Like no they don't have any faith at all. I don't have any gender identity at all. That's how I see it anyway.

But all this to say being agender is weird. And while I'm about as allo as they come, I can relate to asexual people in a lot of ways.

It's like there are these boxes and everyone else can see them, and everyone else can exist in them comfortably, and sometimes people have to change the shape of their box but at the end of the day, it'll fit them. But I can't see the boxes, yet I've been put inside one, and everyone else can see it. I don't want to change the shape of my box, it wouldn't make a difference. I just don't want to be in this box at all. I can't see it, I keep bumping into the walls. I'm glad when the boxes make other people happy, but all I want is to get rid of it. And while it's freeing to identify as agender within myself, to start using any pronouns instead of exclusively she/her, I know that everyone else can still see the box. If they didn't see me as a woman, they'd just see me as something else, some other box, and that's not any better.

And I'm so tired.

#gender #vent #agender #transgender #asexual #lgbtq+ #gender vent #gender identity #cw transphobia #cw personal #nonbinary

[ashe-delta]

If I had a second playthrough at life I'd probably be a AFAB non-binary gender wizard kinda deal. Which probably has no bearings on my current gender thoughts.

#personal #gender vent

[pissbuddys]

"Phalloplasty patients have been able to engage in penetrative intercourse in 51–77% of cases"

i hate this, only 51-77% fuck i just want to be a cis guy

#vent #gender vent #gender shit

[colby-jac-cheese]

I've decided my transness is one of those videogame sliding skill trees, where if you put more points into one you have to take points from another.

Example:

I want top surgery. Having tibbies makes me very uncomfortable. HOWEVER. I would be open to keeping them if I also had a full beard and a lower voice instead. But if I don't have a lower voice, tibbies gotta go, that's too femme for me to be comfy.

Round femme body? I'm fine with that IF my face changes to look more masculine. Like a particularly curvy man. That's fine. But both a curvy body and round femme face? Absolutely not. I don't recognize that as me in any way.

Bottom surgery? Only if I can't get top surgery for whatever reason. If I can get top surgery, then I'd be fine with just having my tubes tied. I DONT want both top and bottom though. One or the other.

Hormones? Sure! Just enough to drop my voice and maybe grow some hair. But if I start having other effects that I don't want I have no issue dropping it and investing on something else instead.

All of this with long hair though. I don't look good with short hair, my head is too round.

Idk if this makes me more nonbinary or whatever. All of this is still my idea of me as a man, so I feel like it counts as trans. But my goal is to be a man in the way a tomato is a fruit. You're always forgetting it until your reminded and like 'oh yeah that's right' and just accept it as fact regardless of how it looks

#trans rights #transmasc #transgender #my transition #gender is weird #top surgery #bottom surgery #hormones #gender vent

[kozykricket]

gender progress update:

i really like being Jake the he/him but maybe not Guy just. person.

yet when my confidence is low i desperately feel desire to be a girl. and sometimes i feel desire to look cute

but honestly im just a feminine guy … jake feels so ME and. julia works totally but

im just a guy who likes thinking about being girly or a girl lots. and who’d wish to be a … eh who knows

i think im just finally becoming confident in myself so im feeling less pressure to be someone else

though, i AM also a hoarder of gender, vibes, etc. i want all the aesthetics, all the ocs, etc

all the gender .

#mild vent #gender vent

[brisingr-sword]

i think what makes me so hesitant about embracing masculinity is that i’m afraid i won’t be able to embrace my femininity anymore.

#does this make sense? #it makes sense to me #it’s all that does make sense #i just want so badly to throw myself in. change my name and use he/him and get top surgery #but its terrifying #what if i can’t balance both? #vent post #gender vent #nonbinary #genderqueer #trans #transmasc

[poleaxewife]

As I stumble around my room late in the evening after spending all day providing emotional support and a shoulder to cry on to a dear and personal friend of find my thoughts and drawn to my identity.

Who am I? Why am I like this? Why do I have the hang-ups that I do? Why do I have the things that I'm comfortable with that I do?

I think about things that I shouldn't in ways that make me feel strange.. I compare myself to others in my communities. Others like me. I find companionship at solidarity in those who have experienced things that I have. And at the same time I feel a terrible sense of disconnect. Of otherness. Of not belonging. Sometimes I fear I don't belong anywhere. Not because of lack of feeling nor lack of trying of course. I feel like a girl I try to be one. When I feel like one I feel happy when I don't I feel sad. I know what I am deep down inside I'm a girl and I love that. But I'm bad at it and I'm new to it and I've become surrounded by people who are good at it and aren't new to it. I find myself comparing and contrasting between me and them between us and them. I hear them talk I listen to their sweet and musical voices and I wish so desperately that I could be like them. Now I lay here in the depths of the night is the room slowly spins around me and I consider what tomorrow will bring. The sensation fills me with trepidation with joy And terrible terrible Loneliness.

I suspect in the coming days and maybe the coming weeks there will be great changes in my life. I pray that they are good warm tidings bringing joy. But still I fear that the things I dread that follow me will rear their heads. I fear that an invisible edit that I cannot understand or explain is that to get me. I don't know why I don't know who but still I fear it. Listen nebula's contact of something that I don't know and can't control that wants nothing more than to destroy me. My paranoia seeps into everything I do without even thinking. I can't even go to the bathroom without feeling the paranoia. I deliberately tilt my phone off and away from me so I know I will be out of reach of the camera and still be able to see my phone to scroll through YouTube shorts the 10,000th time. It's still unperfectly content to sleep with a wire tap in my room thank you Google. And still I am happy enough to leave my location on despite it being unnecessary thank you Samsung. It is a paradox that I live with everyday why do I not fear that my phone is wire tapped? And why do I fear that the ones that I love and trust most or conspiring against me? Why? For what purpose? Every every day and every night I am consumed by these terrible thoughts and awful anxieties that never go away. I know that they are logical I know they are mad. But still I fear that they are not I fear that I am on to something. And then the others in my mind protect me from things that aren't there. And the others in my mind become more and more different every single day. And sometimes I fear that the others in my mind will assume me and I won't exist any longer And the others in my mind feel the same exact thing and I still Threatened to inflict oblivion Upon them. I push them down I fight them back I keep them away like barbarians at a gate. They're not perbarians they are just as much citizens of this body as I am. And still and still still still every day I am consumed by fear. Every day I ostracize myself inflict hurt as I can to myself. I don't use knives I don't use fire sometimes I pull my hair but most of the time words will suffice. I have become something of an expert at making myself Miserable. I don't even know why I'm writing all of this down. I don't know who this is for maybe it's not for anybody. I don't even know if this is for me or for Vicky or for Mako or for Char or for whoever else is hiding up here. That's the real Kicker. I don't even know if I have a complete list of personalities. There are gaps and I don't know why. My memory has never been great it's a side effect of being depressed it's also a side effect of being autistic and having a strong pot habit. It could be any number of things worst case scenario I have one more personality or 2 or maybe more. And the thought of that drives me sane with worry.

Who are you I scream into the void who am II scbeam I beg for response and I know that even if I got it I wouldn't remember it. I am something so very small part of something so very large another days it fills me with awe and wonder do you know I exist as an infantastically small speck and an unbelievably massive universe but on nights like this where the air is clear and my thoughts weigh heavily it scares me so deeply I can't even breathe.

#cassie speaks #vent tag #did vent #gender vent #being a t4t lesbian with DID is maddening #speech to text

[eatenbyfaeries]

It's so easy to be happy and confident in your self identity and gender expression until you are once again in a room full of (mostly) well-meaning but clueless family and friends. Ah... Christmas.

#vent #gender vent #Trans #Christmas vent #Mmmm I hate my body

[mikeybee]

gender is so hard i just wanna be a cute boy who dresses like a cute girl

#gender vent #im posting this knowing full well what i'm gonna post next is top tier cringe

[panickingintheparkinglot]

— vent/rant one! | gender-based.

tw for dysphoria and gender confusion.

long story short, there are no words that can coherently explain my gender experience, and it's so confusing!?

i like to think that i experience gender like every other trans guy, but it feels so fuzzy and weird at times?!

like, i'm a boy – and i want to be a boy! but sometimes my brain goes 'no you don't' or 'you wanna be a girl, don't lie' or 'are you sure', and it confuses me. i don't wanna be a girl, and being deadnamed/misgendered and all that jazz makes me uncomfortable, so it's weird.

there's also the factor that sometimes i don't feel like a boy, and i feel like something in entirely different, or i don't feel like anything at all. sometimes my gender feels all staticky, and it feels kind of wrong to label myself as a guy, but it also feels wrong to label myself as something else.

i know that i tend to dress femininely sometimes, and that a lot of the time my default look is pretty androgynous, but i still yearn to be a boy – even despite not feeling like or wanting to be one 100% of the time.

speaking of my appearance, i love feeling pretty in a feminine sense, but i hate the dysphoria that comes with it. i hate being called a girl just because i look like one, which is probably unfair. but why can't i look feminine but masculine at the same time? other men can. also i can't even wear my binder atp because my ribs are healing from over-wearing it. it really sucks.

...

anyways,

i wanna label my experience so bad, but at the same time i just wanna be me. i'm so lost.

— <3

#tw vent blog #transgender #gender issues #gender dysphoria #gender crisis #gender confusion #trans ftm #transgender ftm #trans male #vent blog #rant blog #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer issues #gender vent

[v3nting-my-g3nd3r]

I still like dresses, they are mostly comfy and easy to throw on. I just don't want to look like a woman wearing one. If I really do feel dead set on a dress, I want to be genderless. I'd accept cute as a compliment in one but not if it meant feminine.

As soon as I realize I look too feminine in a dress, I feel like a man stuck in a dress that just wants to change.

I think I'd like them more if I wasn't forced to wear them every week even when I didn't want to...but my parents claimed I loved them...I think I really just knew they wanted me to love them.

#gender vent #vent #vent post #ftnb vent #ftm vent

[ashe-delta]

shit. I may in fact be dysphoric about my voice

#personal #vent #gender vent