#GOOD NEWS IM NOT CRYING ANYMORE

[torchickentacos]

Ok now it’s 4 am and I just cried over nothing and everything so here’s your reminder to go to sleep before The Horrors set in. Don’t trust bad things after 10 pm regular nights and 12:30 on new years. By 4 am you’re just gonna get stuck in a ‘everyone I love dies and what will happen and also my tummy hurts’ loop which is not fun. It’s like a video game with each hour being a progressively harder, worse level but you’re the boss battle. It’s you. Beat it by going the fuck to sleep, waking up, and realizing all your 4 am problems were ridiculous/not a current issue and kind of funny to be that upset about in retrospect. It’s like watching a drunk girl in a bathroom cry about that time she killed a spider but you’re the drunk friend right now crying over that wolf spider in your basement from six years ago when you could have put it outside. Also sorry anyone seeing this at like 2 pm

#vent post but eh I’m fine #just bad sleepy #okay to rb if this speaks to you #but literally I cry over everything at 4 am #because my mom woke up and was nice to me so I cried because I love her #and I cried because my stomach hurt #and then I was ok but I got warm water accidentally and cried over that #and maybe I’m over sharing. I think I tend to but honestly like idk #I think humans have so many similar emotions #like 4 am sadness #and maybe someone else is 4 am sad right now too #and my lack of a filter. especially past 12. is comforting to them #hi we can be sad together and then go to sleep #GOOD NEWS IM NOT CRYING ANYMORE #I also cry laugh though and cry when I see my friends after a long time and I think I’m just a very cry-y person #I always feel better afterwards but I definitely joy cry a lot too #L’Oréal waterproof mascara. doesn’t come off but won’t budge either #you’ll probably take eyelashes off with it but hey you can sob your heart out in it #hope you have fancy efficient ass makeup remover though

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[elegyofthemoon]

actually i kinda wonder now if theyll put veliona into hsr or is she just sorta mixed into this seele?

#snow plays hsr #idk enough about veliona i just see her everytime i decide to start crying about seele so im just 🤔 thinking #but at this point i often wonder just how much theyll take from honkai impact and put into star rail #i feel like its going to wind up being more spin off and completely separate but what do i know im new to honkai impact #and im not even up to date with star rail #but yeah..... #its already pretty fun though seeing the parallels between bronseele for both stories (i love them sm) #but i wonder how much more #not that i can appreciate it at this point but yeah #'snow why are u posting about this here' bc im sleepy and i dont care anymore. #i wanna post more about viddygame thoughts like i used to tbh #ik i would do it on a rambling blog but #what if. i just. do it here. :) #tbh i need more hi3 friends/mutuals. im new so i have zero clue about anything but... people to annoy #ANYWAYS good night #wait veli might be separate i just dont know it works just yet #WE WILL LEARN ITS OK #im just a newbie.... the lore too big for my brain to understand but we are putting pieces together 🔍

[lagtrain]

THEY ARE STUNNING THEY ARE EVERYTHING THEY ARE THE FUCKING MOMENT

#HOLY FUCK!!! HOLY FUCKKKKKK!!!!!!! #oh my god they look so good!!!! they did not disappoint im freaking tf out #tbh akito’s new fit my be my fave… HE DOESNT HAVE THE UGLY LAYERS ANYMORE 🎉🎉🎉 the layering actually looks good I LOVE THE SWEATER AND JACKET #and an. ANNNNN SHES STUNNING SHE IS SO PRETTYYYYY IM OBSESSED!!!!! OBSESSEDDDD! the top and pants combo is such a slay omfg #kohane’s oufit is soooooo fawking cute like im gonna cry 😭😭😭 the sweater over the collared shirt is such a nice look for her #and touya… okay maybe his is the one i like the least but i will not deny he is looking very stylish… #the turtleneck (??) is rlly nice and the jacket keeping the dermond branding is so cool to see (touya moon parallels 🥹) #not a fan of the ripped shirt or whatever thats hanging down tho… like it looks fine but id prefer the design without #AND MIKU… holy fuck??? kind of an insane looking design but i genuinely love it!! she looks so cool and i absolutely adore the coat #also her tie?? is so weird looking?? but i think it works? somehow???? #<- i am feeling very normal about these designs. i like vbs a normal amount. #project sekai #proseka

[akascow]

gotta study 125 terms for this exam and its not hard but it is boring and i dont wanna take this

#something about the canvas exams takes so much out of me it instantly drains my energy i feel like falling asleep #im halfway through but im succumbing to the eep #good news is i can probably pass all my classes which is great. my gpa is crying but idrc anymore #on track for 2 Bs and 2 Cs as long as i dont fail this one exam :/

[chaoticmiraclezombie]

only hot people have their math grade dropped by 3%

#internal crying but also i kinda dgaf anymore???? #and i never have?? #this is so NOT a new revelation #wow im really not good at this whoje student thing huh- #brain empty #no more space for math #only comedy horror movies and gay gay gay gay gay

[meringuejellyfish]

oh my worm

#oh mah lord #😭 #guyes the official translation stuff is soo crazy ! i cant read new chapters anymore because all fan translators have DIED #(not actually . just one of my lies) #i dont have dollar :-( also its funny because time came for the first official english translation release #alongside the japanese raws and they fumbled ...... sorrey guys we gotta delay the chapter (i think its out now #message to the ENTIRE world stop reading the new chapters before me .... guyessss !!!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!! #good lort i thought the context to this was that he was just tired after going through The leech event (dont worry about it #but apparently hes crying about coco ..... 😭 #this is one of the few things ive seen from the chapter i live a life of fear and anguish #allisters atelier #im making pasta

[awkwardbiseggsual]

I don't know if i should catch up on bsd, watch the new heartstopper (or good omens) season, start watching superstore or finish reading orv

I'll just rewatch Hannibal

#but idk i wanna see good omens #..but hannibal #aaaa i promised niko id watch superstore #BUT HANNIBAL #we could've been us #screaming crying throwing myself against a wall #stay with me where else would i go #.. but i also really love dokja #BUT NEW BSD EPS ARE WILD AND I LOVE SSK #nick speaking French #hannibal just existing #should i rewatch the office? #no wait i dont have prime anymore #SHIT I NEED PRIME FOR GOOD OMENS #idk what to do #idk what im doing #i also haven't watched queen Charlotte yet #I'm just gonna rewatch hannibal #mads mikkelsen #hannigram #hannibal #hannibal the cannibal #ineffable husbands #murder husbands #i want hannibal to do unholy things to me #i cant fix him #i do believe i can ride him tho #god i wanna ride him so bad #it's decided #I'm rewatching Hannibal

[risarchives]

imperium audio spoilers !

vindemiator’s joy at seeing them again immediately fading into concern when he heard about the deal they made with president moore and his voice visibly transitioning back into how it sounded when they first met (low, sad) is just. wow

vin’s mirthful freelancer! at the beginning… stop. stop. stop. my heaaart (i missed him so much ahh BELOVED)

i had to pause a few moments and stare at the ceiling because i didn't want the audio to end jahdjdnfjw I ADORE THEM TOO MUCH THIS IS GOING TO HURT

my courage when it comes to writing angst just completely vanished when i listened to vindemiator be, act, and sound like that. saying he wants them to be happy and that he doesn't like the idea of fl needing to come meet president moore every time he asks for it just to have time with him and everything in between. everything painful and tender and full of love

my god. i was right. freelancer would do anything but leave vindemiator helpless and alone. and lasko’s obviously taking it for granted im just— *slams head against the wall*

freelancer... sigh truly the listener after my own heart. and after vin's as well so im backing off haha <3 stay strong together you two please

the fact that he, a demon, lived so hopelessly and did everything in his power to survive before freelancer came around because his kind is so disrespected and frowned upon in the imperium presently has to handle the fact that he is loved. so loved that the person who adores him so is going through so much just to see him and spend time with him and he can't even do anything to protect them from it

AHHH

pres. moore: “—that demon (...)”

fl: “vindemiator.”

and then vindemiator saying he trusts avior AND doesn't doubt freelancer both in the same audio im going insane. how do i even function after all that

AND TH. THE—

“i know, my love.” “promise me, my love.”

IN !!! EVERY !!! UNIVERSE !!! god it hurts so good

#redacted asmr #redacted freelancer #redacted gavin #redacted audio #redacted imperium #redacted vindemiator #echotober #GOOD MORNING :"))))) #the wifi momentarily went out earlier when it came out and i was so close to crying honestly #and then... here we are #god the angst the yearning the tragedy #president moore… i don't even know anymore #the avior crumbs though i adore them #NEW FAVORITE AUDIO METHINKS #i want to call this my comfort audio but like. where #im gonna cry im gonna cryyyy #i hope they're safe by the end of the month because... goodness

[catfishofoldin99colours]

at a certain point is it even worth doing anymore

#catfish speaks #this is about my car sjdjsjja #$4900 and itll be in the shop for two weeks #this is gonna be a NIGHTMAREEEEEEEE #like at least its fixable #but also that's more than what i paid for it #shes so old. should i just. not bother. look for a new car. idek anymore #i mean just as well we didnt get any rental acceptances lol #would not survive having to pay bond and rent on top of my car good god #kinda sucks to be stuck with my parents but at least its pretty cheap lol #argh. i wanna cry. im so tired #also friend is upset and i wanna hug her so bad

[chanselysees]

.

#sorry i need to vent ignore this #my new years resolution for 2023 was to work out consistently and get fit #bc i was really embarrassed at how physically weak i was last summer #and for the most part i did but with prepa and stuff i couldnt exercise as much as i wanted #but i still lost a bit of weight and was somewhat happy with the results for a while but #now i hate it again i hate it so much #ive been dancing a LOT (like 4h/week min. which is a lot for a fulltime uni student) bc it's convenient and good cardio and most of all FUN #and yeah the weight i lost is due to that and my cardio is good and im definitely much more fit than last year but #i still hate the way i look. so viscerally. and i know its my brain telling me nonsense bc it's not like a body can 'look bad' #and i'm lit a healthy weight im just a little thicker than french standards? #but i need to exercise more i want to lose all this fat i pinch my skin and wish it would melt beneath my fingers #but i dont have time or money for the gym and no buddy to go with and im intimidated so i just work out from home but #it's not enough i feel so discouraged. body dysmorphia in the summer really doesnt help my seasonal depression #like i truly believed this year would be my 'summer body' or whatever shit that means and its not and idk what to do i just want to be #in another persons skin. have another persons body. anyone truly #to the point that dancing isnt even fun for me anymore it's just competitive w myself i want to maximize the calories i burn and #i sometimes record myself cause i want to see the steps i miss and i did and i saw my body and it killed all my joy. #made me wanna die and cry. i stopped dancing immediately and i just swallowed back the tears cause theres no way i look like that. #so repulsive and nowhere near where i wanted. and again i know it's in my head there's no such thing as a 'repulsive' body due to weight!?! #but i cant apply that reasoning to myself. and i hate myself so much rn #im being called for dinner rn but i'd honestly rather not eat. i think i'd feel horribly gross if i ate anything right now #i told my friends i'd stop using hunger as a form of self-punishment but it almost feels satisfying in a twisted way... like i deserve it #clara tais toi #like ia m SO obsessed with my appearance in a way that is borderline unhealthy i am SO #preoccupied by how im perceived (physically) if i look hot if i look pretty if i look cute at any and all times and #the answer is never ever satisfactory because other ppls judgement of me cannot fix my own but like #it's so exhausting. i'm so exhausted #dl later

[maedaex2combo]

guys i swear i havent forgotten about MTP i think about it everyday and it haunts me every night i dont think ill get a good nights rest until i finish that fic

#heres the thing. #i am studying abroad and always very busy #but when i do have free time #i started re-vamping or like editing? the past two chapters bc #im reading a really good fic rn that made me realize mine is written kinda terribly #i was to finish editing the old chapters before i finalize the last one bc i want it to be really good #so sorry for the wait #i dont want to promise a time anymore bc i genuinely dont know #just know that it will come one day and it will not be left unfinished #know that everytime i get an email for a new comment on my fic my heart stops beating and then i read ur sweet comments asking ab it #and i start screaming and crying and sliding down the nearest wall #more than pale

[milo-is-rambling]

Most of the time I think life is so so good and then I have one minuscule moment of pain again and it’s like nvm I need to die

#you ever have a good pain week and then you can feel your body getting tense again even when you’re trying to be proactive and it doesn’t #help anymore and you feel like a child again I feel like when I first started hurting when I first realized this was forever I feel like #when I would spend nights crying and thinking about how this was my body and this was my life and how it’ll be like this forever #I almost hate feeling good bc I forget how shitty it is when I hurt #like I truly forget that pain is forever when I have a good couple days and then it always comes back and even when it’s not brutal #immediately I know it will get there again. #I’m pmsing and I’m nervous bc I am stressed and I’ll be starting a new job next week and my shoulders are set more forward then they normal #are and ik it’s from driving and stress and sleeping in so many different places but like god how do I stop being afraid of my body #falling apart while im still using it. #I’m preparing myself for the inevitable endo flare. if it isn’t this month it’ll be some other month. how do I explain to a new boss that I #might have to call out a couple days in a row every month bc I’ll be busy curled up in a ball crying or sleeping for two days #how do I explain that I have to lie about how much I can carry and how long I can stay on my feet because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to #get a job anywhere #ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh I feel incredibly young and small and my life is short and just beginning and it feels like it’s racing me to the end #I will hurt in some capacity forever. I just have to deal with that. between emotional and physical pain I am hurting constantly but this #last week has been so fucking good and I have to go back to my regular life tomorrow and try to be good and fix myself and still remember to #stretch even when I’m not driving ten hours and it’s just so hard #I hope I take care of myself. I hope I stop hurting I hope I can be happy soon

[m0e-ru]

girls will literally say ohh the golden anime is soo bad you should never watch it or consider part of any sort of it canon and same girls will watch it themselves and cry

#kommento #// sorry im so sad all the time ever i get to be sad for marie and mad as fuck at epdisode 6 and 7 #// personally it's miffing me because it would twist the general understanding of the lore so much #// with all the liberties in writing it takes as compromise to make it more emotional #// and make ME cry like a baby #// which is a very strange tradeoff but i literally have my opinions on the stageplay duology too #// but its execution is so good i wish it was handled a little bit. better. though. #// it's good to ME because it has marie in it and it's TERRIBLE because HE WOULD NOT SAY THAT #// i have sosososo much beef with the Golden addons like prsona writers are kings of writing he would NOTT say that i SWEAR TO GOD #// throw yosukes sl under the bus and do the STUPID okina scooter trip or so help me . like i CARE <- cares #// but bringing marie's issues to light and how it matters so much and giving insight on her character outside literally every media possib #// i CANT be picky with this. but i AM #// theres 1000000 things wrong with it but it's fine with me because i can handpick whatever i want from media and enjoy my life #// the lore is . handled so sloppily these bitches have NOT played prsona at all but like. theres something for Me. theres SOMETHING !!! #// i want sogabe to work on the golden parts of 4 and make the manga five volumes longer i dontcare anymore i want omakes too #// iwant a new stageplay recasting masami and asanuma because THEY GOT IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME !!! i want a musical iwant a 4 act prodcuiotn #// soosososo many things wrong with the things i love it'sok i have a rag and i'll clean off the dirt until i passout on asphalt

[bo0zey]

thinking abt how i’m already a chronic maladaptive daydreamer w a sensitive sidereal pisces moon in the 8th house and having access to klonopin is like a forcefield of protection for my brain and body it’s only times like these i feel safe enough to come out of hiding and glide around the real world for a little bit before the drugs wear off and i dive back into my other multi universes and try to experience life through them instead except but lately it’s gotten harder and i think it’s because i’ve been so out of touch with reality for so long that i got stuck in this weird state of writer’s purgatory i used to be able to draw so much inspiration for my characters and story plots from the real world but now it’s blanks ……..i need 2 go outside n touch grass or smthing how do i feel connected to myself and the world again i don’t want to but i think that’s the reason why i can’t write anymore as much as i try…i spent >17hrs a day trying to organize 4 different stories at a time my brain is scattered im losing hope and motivation all over again …. alllll over again!!

#also i would like 2 add that pisces + drugs r Not a good combo bc pisces are already prone to escapism #finding out i’ve been a sidereal pisces moon all along rlly changed a lot for me like when i’m actively present in reality my aries moon #she’s like grrrrr emotional rampage chaos like the aries moon sun stereotype??? no bb that ones for the Moon lmao #i hate the term maladaptive daydreaming i feel like everyone uses it like haha im so quirkyy but like #ok listen i’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal if anything their comments just make me want to invalidate my own feelings anymore #i’ve been told i struggle w imposter syndrome i didn’t like when my therapist told me that it didn’t make me feel any more validated #i felt like she was lying to placate me #i wish i could’ve taken up writing in a healthier coping mechanism way but instead i let it take over everything my entire world #i could’ve graduated college w a way better gpa n shit but no i wasted hours writing instead of assignments and still i have nothing to show #maladaptive daydreaming ruined my life i want to cry i can’t believe im saying this when i condisdered it my safe space for so long #my sanctuary my garden of eden what have i done i feel like i just ate fruit from the tree of knowledge and now i see i realize i was never #i was never safe anywhere . my stories entrapped me i lost all my friends bc i liked the ones in my head so much better #now i’m alone and lost and stuck between 2 worlds i can’t believe how i used to write 30 diff works in progress at one point i had ideas #now i’m stuck in a cycle of recycling new and old ideas there’s nothing new i get lost and confused i’ve entangled myself in this web #this story web!! haha lol #idk what im saying im going to shut up now my brains foggy #i have an idea but it’s not appropriate for tumblr so im gonna write it down in my dumb journal #ramblings

[mummer]

#i have been doing incredibly bad mentally :-) and idk what to do #my journal entries are literally unreadably cruel to myself lol......... haha 🤙 its fine #im somehow even lonelier and more convinced of my unlikeability than ive ever been which is fucking saying something #keep getting litmag rejections and absolutely no indication or encouragement that i actually have any worth at all #further discouraging me from actually writing or editing anything or even reading because it just makes me depressed #downloaded a dating app and had a panic attack #had a huge fight with my dad and was clearly just in the wrong and mean but our relationship has always been fucked so i cant bring myself #to even start thinking about that when even talking to him about mundane things makes me want to crawl in a hole and die #personal #just not good dawg. so isolated so numb what else is new. #im also doomscrolling really bad bc of the shooting and feeling just incredibly bleak and awful on top of it all. #maybe i should ‘give myself a break’ but i feel like ive been doing that for 6 years #at least i dont have that thing where i cant look in mirrors without crying anymore.