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#Ferngully is guilty of this
blackbackedjackal · 2 years
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B-list 90s and early 2000s animated films had some weird ass songs.
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bjekkergauken · 6 months
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Tropical north queensland fairies
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tagged by @xplore-the-unknwn Thanks for the tag!!
(rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better)
name: I go by Livia Rosethorn online if I must give a "real name". I go by "Scrabble" at work... there's a joke there, feel free to ask about it. I may make up another name, just for lols... OH! Also Mortalia Westinra.
star sign: Aries
height: 5′6.5″
time: 1:35 pm
birthday: April (Aggressive Incoherent Mumbling)
favorite bands/artists: so many... right now, I like Ashnikko, Rain Paris, and Aronchupa/various artists. MCR is of course a classic, and my "guilty pleasure" band is of course panic! at the disco. I also got a twitter account for Ice Nine Kills, so they are of course pretty high up there too, since we all hate twitter and its associated drama.
last movie: I think I rewatched Rogue One? Maybe?
last show: Star Wars: Rebels.
when did i create this blog: 2012 I believe. (I'm an ancient entity, fear me.)
what i post: Star Wars, horror, funny things, random shitposting...
last thing i googled: a 1973 version of Walking Tall. My grandparents couldn't remember an actor's name and I love being helpful. It's my toxic trait. <3
other blogs: um... I have twitter for my faves ICE NINE KILLS, and for them only. I have Facebook, but I rarely use it.
do i get asks?: no. I got anon hate the last time I made a post about Br*cenat, but that's on me for being a former marvel stan. I would love some asks! Please come bother me! :D
following: "Got a secret, can you keep it..." - The Pierces
average hours of sleep: too much... 9 to 10 hours a night if I can manage. (My depression manifests as lethargy, you see.)
instruments: I'm looking into guitar and drums but ultimately the violin or fiddle is appealing to me for some reason.
what i’m wearing: A R2-D2 shirt and black shorts. I'm actually sticking to my chair. Its uncomfortable.
dream job: Archivist. Librarian. College Professor. Something NOT IN RETAIL, WHICH SUCKS ASS.
dream trip: I'd like to go to Italy? Or Spain? Possibly to Japan.
nationality: Assigned American at Birth. It's terminal.
favorite songs: At the moment, I'm fond of an Uncle Kracker song that was rereleased on iTunes called "Break U Off." Originally on Osmosis Jones Soundtrack, and it is a banger. I also like "Toxic Love" sung by Tim Curry. I want them to rerelease the Ferngully soundtrack, and I'm no longer asking politely.
last book i’ve read: Currently reading Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising. I also need to finish an Animorphs reread.
top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: New Rome (Rick Riordan), Mysterious Benedict Society's World, and possibly Anita Blake's St. Louis... Or maybe Tortall/Winding Circle.
Time for you guys to answer these questions!
I tag... nobody, actually. I don't want to be a bother.
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mjchroma · 4 months
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*Watching Ferngully*
I bet this movie makes you feel really guilty, doesn't it, oil?
Why would I feel guilty, I ain't the fuckin' logging bot.
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jojosbizzarewife · 10 months
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Guilty Pleasure Movies
Jojolion
Gappy, Yasuho, Norisuke, Jobin, Mamezuku
—————————————————————————
Gappy
Air Bud (1998)
Yasuho
Crossroads (2002)
Norisuke
Hook (1991)
Jobin
A Bug's Life (1998)
Mamezuku
FernGully (1992)
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ticklygiggles · 3 years
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Love ask games 😊 9,12,13,15,16 👀
Thank you so much for letting me know ask box was closed! I don't know what happened there lololol, also thank you for sending these!
9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?
Nnghh, bright characters! I mean like bubbly characters such as Hinata from Haikyuu! I think I don't write them so well!
12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.
Aaahh I have many! I've been having a few ideas for fics lately, buuuut I think I'm more excited about this fic with Zhongli and Childe that I have in mind! I guess I'm excited because it's my first time writing for them properly!
13. First fandom you ever wrote for?
In this blog, supernatural!
15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?
I wouldn't say weirdest, it's just not a common one! It was a commission about the movie Ferngully!
16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?
Aaahhh, honestly, every n$fw trope I write, hahaha! Hmm... It could also beeeeee... Oh goodness, rarepairs! Aaahhh I looove rarepairs! Is that even a trope? Hahaha
[Questions for fanfiction writers]
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gaelfox · 4 years
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Thoughts on the US military isekai movie? I mean the monster hunter movie?
Oh I’m going to be incredibly surprised if it’s adequately amusing - I’m expecting an utter garbage fire that misses the core themes of Monster Hunter completely, but based on the trailer I have thoughts.
Monster Hunter Movie
American Military gets isekai’d into the MH world - maybe due to some rift-bending thing, but as we’ve seen with Geralt of Rivia and Snake, getting isekai’d into the MH world isn’t exactly uncommon. It’s gonna be a problem tho, Pacific-Rim style.
The military is immediately confronted by a mid-Hunted Black Diablos. B.Dia is already pissed, sees a new threat, and attacks. Military weapons don’t do anything and our military gets saved or gets lucky when the Hunter shows up. Hunt Complete.
The Hunter is shocked but explains that the monsters are acting weird, and their weapons won’t do anything (which...ok. I guess. Dunno how an RPG to the face is different than like...a bowgun bolt aside from “lol magic monster parts” but they brought that inconsistency on themselves.) With the B. Dia posing a threat to her platoon and also possibly the village, Milla demands to be trained as a Hunter, spouting some “I’m already a warrior” kind of rhetoric.
Milla and her team stay in the village/town where the Hunter and Handler (💚!) are from and learn about the world Ferngully style. This may be our wished-for turning point where the Hunters are like “we’ve been surviving side-by-side for years. We appreciate your help, but we’ve got this” but our other option is probably more likely: Milla is the “savior” 🙄 they need to defeat the threat due to some bloodline thing that she’s Hunter-blooded, or just...she’s Milla and that’s the only explanation we get.
Obvs the meat of the movie is fighting monsters, so we’re gonna get some smaller fights, or a big fight as a Rath attacks the village. All the while, with Gore being seen in the trailer, my guess is they’re going for MH4 storyline with the Frenzy Virus - not a bad storyline when done right, and a good message about invasive species/fragile ecosystems. The Researchers - maybe even a First Wyverian encounter - will tell our group about the strange disease found in the monster carcasses, or what’s been noted on the other monsters “going aggressive”. (Red eyes and purple smoke may be a little too camp for the film looking at the trailer, but maybe, we’ll see)
Milla gets what appear to be Fire-based dual blades to go after...a Rathalos...while wearing basic leather armor. I don’t know how to tell you that that is literally the worst idea you could have. She’s either gonna eat face and get carted and get a slice of humble pie before bouncing back to get after the real prob, our dear monster Gore Maggy — or she’s just gonna be Milla and take care of it before going after Gore Maggy.
Gore Maggy will make an appearance and Frenzy will be seen firsthand. The team/village will be left suffering, but a final stand is made, build up to final confrontation climax between the Hunters and Monsters, Maggy is driven off/hunted.
Will the Rift be addressed? Maybe. Some event related to the monsters, much like Magdaros’ Elder Crossing, might be the cause. Fix that event, fix the rift.
Milla will either stay after “finding her calling” and send her platoon home or we’ll get the “our worlds are connected UwU” kind of ending. Maybe.
Now I’m real, real bad at movie predictions but it’s kind of fun trying to piece it all together. I know a lot of people hold Jovovich’s movies as a sort of garbage-fire guilty pleasure, so I’m hoping that the truth-be-told incredibly accurate (if not disappointingly muted) monster designs and fights is fun enough as a “kaiju” movie than a “Monster Hunter” Movie and I can enjoy it, but it’s...adaptations not catered to a fan base just feels like a slap to your potentially biggest base of consumers?
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takaraphoenix · 4 years
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Get to Know ME Tag Game
I got tagged by the lovely @wonderdoves - thank you! <3
do you make your bed? yes, always, I hate when it’s unorderly
what’s your favorite number? 7!
what’s your job? uuuh I’m a student without a job
can you parallel park? lol I can’t park at all, I can’t drive xD
a job you’ve had which would surprise people? I dunno? I don’t think so?
do you think aliens are real? I mean definitely. Peak arrogance is to believe that we are the most intelligent life-form in the whole universe
can you drive a manual? still can’t drive at all xD”
what’s your guilty pleasure? uuuuh too many? I dunno? Gummy bears? Like, a guilty pleasure kinda food, or what...?
tattoos? nope
favorite color? a magenta that leans more into purple
things people do that drive you crazy? when they only see what they want to see and conveniently ignore the parts that don’t fit their narrative
any phobias? spiders and dogs and I am very wary of horses but it’s not really a phobia
favorite childhood sport? lol
do you talk to yourself? all the fucking time, who else is gonna give me the answers I wanna hear? ;P
what movies do you adore? Anastasia, Rise of the Guardians, Mulan, Rescuers Down Under, FernGully, Sleeping Beauty
do you like puzzles? noooo waist of time wtf why would I spent so much time putting together an image someone else cut up? How frustrating
favorite kind of music? muscial soundtracks!
tea or coffee? tea!
what’s the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? a math teacher :D”““
Tagging whoever wants to do it! Feel personally tagged by me! <3
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uuber-marronpan · 5 years
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Ferngully was a movie that I used to watch avidly in my youth. Now it sits as a guilty pleasure film.
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menollywanderer · 7 years
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iRules:
1. Always post the rules
2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you
3. Write 11 questions of your own
4. Tag 11 people
I was tagged by @elbywoggit, @theswtorblog, @tethys-the-aquatic-sea-godness
I got tagged 3 times! I love you guys:-)
@elbywoggit questions:
1. If you could choose any one magical superpower, what would it be?
   Teleportation, I love to travel and see the world and being able to just teleport there would be so awesome.
2. What is your favorite Star Wars species? Why?
   I mostly play humans but I really do love the Cathar.
3. Ramble a little about your favorite SW Universe character, and why they’re your favorite.
   R2-D2, the best little astromech this side of the known universe. He is brilliant, knows all the things and for a droid he cares for all his friends. Never has a few clicks and noises conveyed such emotion. He is definitely my fave.
4. Which mythological creature do you identify with the most?
   Dragon, yup no contest.
5. So you’ve been given a device to transport yourself to any fictional universe, permanently. Do you use it? Which one do you go to?
   Pern, the land of dragon riders and master harpers. The planet where you can have tiny dragons as friends.
6. #1 Guilty pleasure?
   Cherry Coke, it has no nutritional value but every now and then its so freakin' good.
7. I’m stealing this from cystemic but: Choose your 5 person video game dream team.
   Lol that would probably be a battle between space husbands (I include Arcann in this) and Thedas husbands. However if I made up a team outside of them, HK-55, Cassandra because she is awesome, Lord Scourge because I think him and Cassandra might enjoy trading stories. T7 since I probably can't have R2-D2.
8. Current favorite song
   Group of songs actually. It is my current muse music https://youtu.be/A8qMyBWZNw0
9. Holy crap! You’re a vampire! Or a werewolf. Zombie? Now that you’re a creature of the night, do you accept your fate and welcome your new life? Or do you fight your new hungers, tendencies, etc.?
   Vampire, a child of the night, sun burns us precious! I would accept it because I would have no choice but I wouldn't let it define me. I would not be a monster.
10. Continuing from 9, if you could pass on your Creature type to another person or people, would you? Who would you choose?
   I wouldn't subject anyone else to it,
11. Do you believe in destiny?
   Unlike Arcann, yes I do.
@theswtorblog questions:
1.  Favorite musician?
   I don't really have just one, I like several. John Williams is high on the list though. Soundtracks are my thing.
2.  Do you like memes?  What are your favorites?
   The one with the lady looking incredulous and the guy too.
3.  Do you have any pets that aren’t a cat or a dog?
   Not right now no, just pups and kitty's
4.  If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, what would you have?
   Dragon!
5.  Favorite video game memory?
   Favorite and also most heartbreaking because it made me feel! The Tresspasser DLC with a romanced Solas. I still haven't recovered. Also the Dawn Will Come song.
6.  Any musical guilty pleasures?
   Jpop :-)
7.  Favorite album?
   Again, I am a great lover of many forms of music
8.  If you could time travel to any period in history, where would you go and why?
   Medieval England, just to see that its not all jousts and faire fun so that when I come back I will appreciate the "Modern" ones more:-)
9.  Something you’re proud of?
   All my travels. I live in an area where the people think the next town over is too far out of their comfort zone.
10.  Is there something you used to hate or be afraid of, but now love?
   Garlic, hated the stuff for most of my childhood now it's so damn good.
11.  Do you follow any vloggers?
   Yes! My friends archaeology channel on you tube. He puts a ton of effort into each one and they are so cool. Archaeonomy
@tethys-the-aquatic-sea-godness questions:
1.What’s the very first ship you remember shipping?
   Lady Amalthea and Prince Lear...still haven't recovered from that either.
2.Anything you used to love but now hate?
   Pizza, I used to love it like any normal person but since I OD'd on it from reading books a lot and getting lots of pizza as a reward I won't touch it now.
3.Do you ever get emotional over fictional characters? (I know I do)
   A better question would be if I ever DON'T get emotional over fictional characters. I tend to get far too attached to fictional people.
4.Something of your childhood you regret?
   Not being home when my dog died:-(
5.Did you or do you have dreams about what you wanted to do?
   I have dreams of traveling, which is what I would like to do more of. I sometimes have a restless spirit.
6.Forest, seaside or mountain, what do you prefer?
   I enjoy them all but seaside is my favorite. The raw power of the sea, the endless distance...its so calming.
7.Which super power would you like to have?
   Teleportation so I can get places I normally can't very easily :-)
8.Were you ever so disappointed by a game/book/series/whatever-you-can-think-of that you quit it completely?
   Ferngully, the movie, I stopped watching halfway through and never went back. Read the book though. The destruction of the rainforest was just to much to handle. Also a book series called Blood Ties? I think it was. The main characters had been all angsty dancing around each other but by the fourth chapter they had sex. I lost interest, their sexual tension was a draw to the series and they just blew it. Don't jump too quickly into sex scenes kids.
  9.Would you rather have magic or futuristic science?
   Magic!
10.Which language would you love to speak? If you already love a language you speak, what is it?
   I took Japanese classes in college and love it, I just wish I could speak it better than I do.
11.Have you ever been in love? (no prying, just a bit curious)
I cared deeply for someone once, I am not sure it was love but I think I don't have a great idea what real love actually is.
My questions now!
1. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
2. What is your favorite movie and/or book of all time?
3. If you could go back in time and talk to one famous person, who would it be?
4. Have any pets? What are their names? (stole this one from someone lol)
5. Favorite season?
6. Who is your favorite character in the Star Wars universe, if you have one?
7. Do you eat your veggies?
8. What is your number one pet peeve?
9. Favorite color?
10. If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?
11. What is your favorite video game NPC?
Answer only if you want of course :-)
My apologies if you have already been tagged.
Tagging @aearyn @bishop-legacy @greyias @jediserenity82 @angelicfangirl @swtorramblings @fer8girl @toomanyoperatives  and anyone else interested.
As always only if you want to:-)
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Michael After Midnight: Once Upon a Forest
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In the 90s, animated environmentalism was the really in thing to make. We had stuff like FernGully and Captain Planet, which are two of my favorite cheesy guilty pleasures, beating us over the head with eco-friendly lessons that, to be honest, we kind of needed, even if they weren’t always handled well. And then you have Once Upon a Forest, which is quite frankly an odd and incredibly obscure film whose one claim to fame is getting a review from the Nostalgia Critic. These days it apparently has something of a cult following, but why?
Well, let’s see the story first: We’ve got a forest full of cute little critters. One day, these cute critters find the forest becoming polluted and dying; as it turns out, a broken glass bottle caused a chemical truck to crash, causing the forest to become flooded with toxic gas. A small child, Michelle, ran into some gas and is now on the brink of dying; it’s up to her little friends to find her the cure, but can they get it in time?
So this really sounds rather typical for your environmental movie; the animals are the cute, precocious little good guys and the humans are the big, evil demons who always fuck up the Earth, yeah? That’s what it sounds like from my summary; hell, even the IMDB summary makes it sound like a “Nature good, man bad” story. But here’s the thing; it actually shows the whole time that, while some humans are dumb and yeah, we fuck up the environment, there will always be people taking responsibility and trying to fix the problems. The man who crashes the chemical truck at the beginning? His first thought upon getting out of the truck is to go and get some help because of the gas leak. And at the end, you see humans cleaning up waste, clearing the toxic fumes up, and freeing one of the main characters from a trap. This is actually a much more nuanced look at humans than films like FernGully had, and this really does help set this movie apart. The movie also is, surprisingly, unflinchingly harsh. The little girl who they went on the quest to save? At the end of the film, we discover her parents, who we saw earlier slumped over in their home, gas surrounding them, are dead. You indeed saw the corpses of a small child’s parents in a family film.
So, this must mean the movie is pretty good, huh? Well, uh… Kind of. While it does have the positives above as well as some really great animation, the characters are a big flaw. None of the main characters are particularly memorable or interesting, and that’s a big problem. A lot of the movie feels like filler too, which is not what an adventure to save the life of a friend so feel like. I mean, sure, we get a cool scene with a scarred owl, and s solid gospel-esque musical number from Ben Vereen, things just seem to happen. And this would probably be fine - random encounter adventure plots are fine if the characters are interesting, look at The Land Before Time – but the characters here are just so boring, bland, and cookie cutter that there’s very little investment you can put in them.
So, is this yet another guilty pleasure or should it be avoided? Well, I’d say it’s worth checking out as sort of a contrast to FernGully; FernGully definitely has more interesting characters, better songs, and Tim Curry and Robin Williams hamming it up at every opportunity, so I definitely recommend it more as an entertaining movie, but Once Upon a Forest is much more simple and nuanced in its environmental message. If you’re looking for a pleasant film to teach kids the importance of trying to help make the Earth a better place, this one’s harmless enough.
It certainly isn’t an awful film, and it’s not hard to see why it has garnered a bit of a cult following. I wouldn’t say I’m a part of the cult, but I can still appreciate it in a lot of ways. It’s worth seeing for yourself, so if you can find this somewhere, give it a watch; I dug it out of the bargain bin at Wal-Mart so there’s a good place to start looking. 
Hmm, you know, all of this talk of FernGully has given me an idea... 
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lumierebros · 7 years
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Movie Buff Questions
1. Favorite action film?
Imogen: Die Hard, Terminator 2
Shakya: The Dark Knight, Terminator, Alien, Ip Man +any Tarantino
2. What movie(s) could you watch over and over and not get tired of?
I: Grease, Inception, Gone Girl, Superbad, Hot Fuzz
S: There Will Be Blood, Deathproof, Grease, Django Unchained, Birdman, Whiplash, plus again, any tarantino let’s put it at that)
3. Any old school favorites (pre-70s)?
I: Rear Window, North By Northwest, Breakfast at Tiffany’s
S: On the Waterfront, Citizen Kane, Rebel Without A Cause, Psycho, A Streetcar Named Desire, Casablanca, Singin In The Rain, Dr Strangelove, 2001, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Apartment, The Graduate, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 12 Angry Men, Ben Hur are allllllllll amazing
4. Top 5 directors?
I: David Fincher, Sofia Coppola, Christopher Nolan, Wes Anderson, Denis Villeneuve
S: Paul Thomas Anderson, Martin Scorsese, Stanley Kubrick, Quentin Tarantino, Coen Brothers, Damien Chazelle/Alejandro G. Iñárritu
5. Favorite dead actor/actress?
I: Grace Kelly,  Heath Ledger, Audrey Hepburn, Anton Yelchin
S: Heath Ledger had a lotttt of potential and Brando was great too
6. Favorite movie from the 90’s?
I: Clueless, Fight Club, Seven, Saving Private Ryan, American Beauty
S: Goodfellas, American Beauty, The Big Lebowski, Boogie Nights, The Usual Suspects, Good Will Hunting, Reservoir Dogs, Fargo, Dances With Wolves, Scream, Sister Act, Trainspotting. American History X, Forrest Gump, Casino, Leon, Schindler’s List, Jurassic Park I could go on and on
7. Ever been/are you such a hardcore fan of an actor actress you watched/will watch any movie they were/will be in?
I: James McAvoy
S: Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Leonardo DiCaprio
8. What movie are you looking forward to coming out the most?
I: Star Wars the Last Jedi, Blade Runner 2049
S: Alien: Covenant, Dunkirk
9. Pixar or Dreamworks?
I: Pixar
S: Pixar, but Dreamworks for Sinbad, Prince of Egypt and Spirit
10. Favorite animated movie?
I: Fantastic Mr Fox
S: Spirit, Fantasia, Ferngully
11. Favorite musical?
I: La La Land, Grease, The Lion King
S: Singin’ In The Rain, Grease, Moulin Rouge, La La Land, Oliver!, The Sound of Music, (does High School Musical count )
12. Are you against book-to-movie adaptations?
I: Nope
S: Noooo
13. Your guilty pleasure movie(s)?
I: The Narnia movies, X-Men Apocalypse, The Proposal
S: Burn After Reading, Snatch, In Bruges + Independence Day, Ace Ventura hahahaha
14. Robin Williams or Eddie Murphy?
I: Robin Williams
S: Robin Williams easily
15. Favorite chick flick?
I: Clueless, Ever After
S: When Harry Met Sally (is that a chick flick or)
16. Ever watched a movie just because you heard the effects were awesome?
I: Star Trek (ending up loving it), Avatar
S: Avatar, Gravity, District 9
17. Favorite indie film?
I: Memento, Lost in Translation, Drive
S: Reservoir Dogs, Drive, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, American History X
18. Favorite movie heroin?
I: Sarah Connor, Princess Leia, Liz Bennet, Lisbeth Salander
S: Ellen Ripley
19. Favorite movie action hero?
I: John McClane, Indiana Jones
S: Jason Bourne, The Terminator (arnie)
20. Ever read a book so you could understand the movie?
I: Gone Girl, The Life of Pi
S: A Clockwork Orange: Watched the movie to understand the book, but never got past the first 20 pages or past the rape scene in the film
21. Favorite kids movie?
I: How To Train Your Dragon, The Parent Trap
S: Space Jammmmmmmmmm
22. Favorite Disney movie?
I: The Beauty and the Beast
S: Snow White (childhood fav)
23. Favorite movie soundtrack?
I: Anything by Hans Zimmer, Howard Shore (LOTR)
S: Anything by Hans Zimmer, Justin Hurwitz and Howard Shore. PLUS Proven Lands - Jonny Greenwood, Dirty Walk and Doors and Distance - Antonio Sanchez, Revenant theme- Ryuichi Sakamoto, Nightcall- Kavinsky, The Child Pt. 1 & 2- Jed Kurzel, any classical pieces in Kubrick films.
24. Movie that makes you cry every time?
I: Atonement, Schindler’s List
S: Schindler’s List, Titanic hehe
25. VHS, DVD, or Blu-ray?
I: I watch my stuff online srry
S: VHS was amazing, we had a massive collection when I was younger. Nowadays I would say Blu-ray purely because of quality. Quality of sound is more important to me though (BOSE!!!).
26. Best experience going to the movies
I: Seeing Star Wars The Force Awakens in Gold Class
S: When my boyfriend randomly picked me up at 10pm to go see Arrival as a surprise because I’d mentioned I wanted to see it once.
27. Top 5 actors?
I: Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, Ethan Hawke, Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day Lewis, Ewan McGregor plus all the ones Shakya mentions that I don’t mention-- I LOVE EVERYONE
S: Daniel Day Lewis, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Spacey, Robert DeNiro, Jack Nicholson, Gary Oldman, Christian Bale, Ed Norton, Benicio Del Toro, Christoph Waltz, Javier Bardem
28. Top 5 actresses?
I: Amy Adams, Lupita Nyong’o, Viola Davis, Naomie Harris, Felicity Jones, Natalie Portman, Kate Winslet, Brie Larson
S: Natalie Portman, Frances McDormand, Emma Stone, Ellen Page, Julianne Moore, Amy Adams, Michelle Williams, Kirsten Dunst
29. Movie you completely regret seeing?
I: X- Men The Last Stand
S: 2012, The Accountant, Pacific Rim, Nymphomaniac P1 & 2
30. Movie you wish was never made?
I: X-Men The Last Stand HAHAHA
S: Eragon
31. Movie your parent showed you?
I: The Wizard of Oz, Grease
S: Legit everything, we still have Movie Night every Friday (and we’re not allowed rewatches)
32. Last movie you watched?
I: The English Patient
S: The Apartment
33. An overrated movie?
I: Batman (1989), also agree about The Notebook
S: The Notebook, Super 8, 500 Days of Summer, Brokeback Mountain, Zoolander, Rain Man
34. An underrated movie?
I: Before Sunrise, In Bruges, The Nice Guys
S: Nocturnal Animals, Drive, Snatch, Blood Diamond, Dogma, Biutiful, Tree of Life
35. Favorite comedy movie?
I: Hot Fuzz, Superbad, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Blazing Saddles
S: Burn After Reading, Tropic Thunder, Annie Hall, The Big Lebowski, Wayne’s World, Snatch, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, Borat
36. Movie quote you live by?
I: “I’m so much happier now that I’m dead. Technically, missing.” You know, bc fuck Nick Dunne.
S: There’s not any quote I LIVE by but I do love this scene:
‘Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that. If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap and watch him gasp his last breath lookin' to you for help. If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell.’
37. Movie quote that will always make you laugh?
I: “Where the white women at?”
S: ‘I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!’ ‘You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?’ -long pause- ‘No!’
‘Shut the fuck up fat man this ain’t none of your goddamn business’
‘I have uh..uh.. lactose reflux’ ‘You’re lactose intolerant or you have acid reflux? They’re different things’
‘A shootout is a fucking shootout!!....Like a Western’
‘You think that’s a Schwiiiiiin’
‘I eat the Canadian? I don’t know what you’re talking about’
‘I don’t read the script, the script reads me’ ‘What the hell does that even mean??’
‘oh nothing Tommy, it’s….tip-top, it’s just i’m not sure about the colour’
All the other quotes I find funny are completely random movie quotes that my family has just turned into a joke and that we can easily incorporate into conversation e.g. ‘whadaya gonna do ranger rick, shoot me?’ ‘I could do that’, ‘you sir, too sir’, ‘I don’t want Nenat’, ‘I drive’, ‘you want uhhh money or something’, ‘yeah i like dags’, ‘there is no spoon’ ETC you get the point
38. Film(s) you’ve watched on a date?
I: Any action/superhero movie that has come out recently.
S: The Conjuring 2, La La Land, Arrival, Sausage Party, The Accountant (bf loves accounting but it was shit), Fantastic Beasts, Captain America: Civil War, Shine (anniversary reshow with Geoffrey Rush doing a q&a after teehee), Nocturnal Animals, Suicide Squad, Moonlight, Sully, War Dogs, Jason Bourne, heaps more that I can’t remember
39. Favorite cult film?
I: Pulp Fiction, Fight Club
S: The Big Lebowski, Taxi Driver,  Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction
40. Directors you’d like to see work together?
I: David Fincher and Denis Villeneuve could be interesting
S: Coen brothers and Guy Ritchie would be fkn awesome OR Coens and Tarantino would be screenplay heaven
41. Actors you’d like to see work together?
I: Felicity Jones and Oscar Isaac (can you imagine the chemistry)
S: Miles Teller and Emma Watson ;---)
42. Films you wanted to watch, but never got around to watching?
I: American History X, 28 Days Later
S: Amadeus, The Deer Hunter
43. Favorite teen movie?
I: Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Fast Times at Ridgemont High
S: Juno, Grease, The Breakfast Club, Rebel Without A Cause
44. Top 5 favorite films?
I: American Psycho, Her, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Seven, Inception, There Will Be Blood, Inglourious Basterds, LOTR, No Country For Old Men ARGH SO MANY
S: There Will Be Blood (no. 1 fav), Good Will Hunting, No Country For Old Men, Raging Bull, Fargo, The Dark Knight, Goodfellas, LOTR, American Psycho, Deathproof, Tree of Life, The Usual Suspects, So many so many.
45. Favorite superhero film?
I: Logan, X-Men Days of Future Past, The Dark Knight
S: The Dark Knight, The Incredibles
46. Favorite cop film?
I: 21 Jump Street, Hot Fuzz, The Departed
S: Reservoir Dogs, Fargo, Seven, Mystic River, The Departed, Silence Of The Lambs
47. Favorite road trip film?
I: Fear and Loathing Las Vegas
S: Borat HHAHAHAH
48. A disappointing film from your favorite actor?
I: Pick any rom-com of Matthew McConaughey’s
S: Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List and Anger Management. So fucking bad. Good actor, shit movies.
49. A disappointing film from your favorite director?
I: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
S: The Lovely Bones, Only God Forgives
50. The first movie you ever remember watching in theaters?
I: I don’t remember any, but the first film I saw was A Bug’s Life
S: I genuinely have no idea
51. A movie that was better than the book?
I: The Shining (lmao bc Stephen King hates the movie)
S: Yeah The Shining and There Will Be Blood (based on Oil! which was beautifully written but nothing beats PTA’s adaption)
52. Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis?
I: Vin Diesel is so cute but I like Bruce better
S: it’s not a motorcycle baby it’s a chopper
53. A movie that not many have heard of that you’ve seen?
I: Hunt For the Wilderpeople
S: Vampire’s Kiss, Children of Men, Ip Man (VERY good foreign film), Dr Strangelove, Inherent Vice, Shame, Biutiful, Macbeth, Cool Hand Luke, Room In Rome, To Sir With Love
54. A movie that changed the way you view the world?
I: To Kill a Mockingbird
S: American History X
55. Favorite sci-fi movie?
I: Star Wars, Star Trek, Interstellar, Arrival, Gattaca
S: Alien, Predator, The Thing, Interstellar, Arrival, Terminator, 2001, Matrix, The Fifth Element, E.T
56. Movie you completely nerd-out over every time it’s mentioned?
I: X-Men, Star Wars, LOTR
S: LOTR obviously
57. Movie that you’ve seen all the behind-the-scenes action for?
I: Inception
S: LOTR again, hours on end of it omf
58. Movie where your favorite actor was the only good part?
I: Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor in the Star Wars prequels
S: Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries
59. Movie from an actor you hate that was better than you expected?
I: Kristen Stewart (Adventureland), but I don’t hate her at all, I was just surprised at her performance.
S: Mo’Nique in Precious, never hated her, she’s brilliant, it was the first performance I’ve seen of hers and it made me despise her character so much. SO GOOD but so awful.
60. Most visually stunning movie you’ve seen?
I: The Revenant
S: Tree of Life, 2001, The Revenant, Apocalypse Now, The Master, Interstellar, LOTR, Jurassic Park
61. A movie your parents introduced you to?
I: The Wizard of Oz, Life is Beautiful, Grease
S: Hahahaha basically every movie no joke, but my dad showed me lots of Chaplin
62. Favorite genre?
I: Thriller/crime/mystery/suspense
S: Drama, gangster movies, thrillers/horror/psychological thriller/horror you get the jist
63. Least favorite genre?
I: Romantic comedies
S: Romcoms or superhero movies (not including tdk)
64. Comedy movie that you didn’t find funny?
I: Sausage Party
S: How to be single, Anchorman, Sausage Party
65. Horror movie that didn’t scare you?
I: The Conjuring, Paranormal Activity
S: Insidious just so bad, The Exorcist, The Shining, Rosemary’s Baby, Let The Right One In (Swedish version NOT American Let Me In). None are terrifying, just extremely unsettling and disturbing
66. Favorite remake of an old movie?
I: The Departed, True Grit
S: True Grit, The Thing, Scarface, The Departed
67. A movie that started a passion for you?
I: Her. The first “good” movie I watched that got me into film culture.
S: Well I was brought up with hundreds of great movies from my childhood which made me love film as a child, but standout ones from my childhood I can remember especially well are LOTR, Spirit, Fantasia, all very music based films too
68. A movie that sparked an interesting conversation?
I: Interstellar (about time, paradoxes, and space)
S: Donnie Darko, No Country For Old Men, Psycho, The Usual Suspects, 2001, Whiplash -- all have brilliant final scenes, Split: my bro and I spent an hour talking about what makes a good movie and why it was so bad
69. The main movie you remember from your childhood?
I: Grease… slightly inappropriate for a kid but most of the adult stuff went over my head anyway
S: Lord Of The Rings of course, first full length film I was shown and Neverending Story is another one I remember well.
70. The first movie you saw on it’s opening night?
I: Star Wars The Force Awakens
S: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows P1 and P2, La La Land
71. A move that made you ache for love.
I: Before Sunrise
S: Blue Valentine
72. Favourite foreign film/s?
I:
S: Let The Right One In, Life Is Beautiful, Cinema Paradiso, Ip Man, City of God, Pan’s Labyrinth, REC, Biutiful
73. Favourite horror film/s?
I: 
S: The Shining, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, Carrie, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw, Psycho, REC.
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weapon13whitefang · 6 years
Note
3, 11, 19 for the song post GO
3. three songs you were recently obsessed with 
Fuck You by Lily Allen
Don’t Turn Away by Electric Light Orchestra
The Comeback Kid by The Midnight
11. three favorite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack
Why Should I Worry? by Billy Joel [Oliver & Company]
A Dream Worth Keeping by Sheena Easton [Ferngully: The Last Rainforest]
Rainbow by Sia [My Little Pony Friendship is Magic THE MOVIE]
19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure (I don’t believe in guilty pleasures because you like what you like but I’ll share something!)
Shake Your Bon Bon by Ricky Martin
Juice Box by Preschool Popstars
The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?” by Ylvis
Beep Beep Imma Sheep by LilDeuceDeuce (Ft. TomSka & BlackGryph0n)  (BONUS SONG)
(Sorry it took me awhile to answer hun! Couldn’t get this fucking hellsite to let me answer anything!)
0 notes
fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years
Text
The Planets Wrote Your January Horoscope, All I Did Was Translate
http://fashion-trendin.com/the-planets-wrote-your-january-horoscope-all-i-did-was-translate/
The Planets Wrote Your January Horoscope, All I Did Was Translate
Illustration by Cynthia Merhej
Happy New Year and holy Oprah! I just realized that part of what I love about Astrology Zone’s Susan Miller is that she speaks like a fourth “Mrs.” (there are three: Who, Whatsit, Which) in A Wrinkle in Time. For example, Mrs. Miller equated some celestial good fortune thing (I can’t even remember) to that of a joyful cup of hot cocoa. And then, to some sign who she imagined was asking, “Whyyyyyyyy” to a bit of life-related bull crap caused by the January 31st eclipse, she said this:
“The universe wants us to live a happy, productive life, and will not abide stagnation, so the universe sends an eclipse to test the strength of relationships and situations and to shake the status quo.”
I liked that.
She is also, Bob (the Builder) bless her, a bit long-winded. And no shit!* It takes an awful lot of words to pack a month’s worth of your life into a single horoscope seeing as it’s based on all the wackadoo planets and their various dramas.
But you’re busy! Who has time to read astrological novels? And speaking of the aforementioned shit, Uranus is both being one and doing some, I’m sure. Who wants to read about that? (Though I promise that when it comes to Uranus’s shit, you can handle it. At least Mercury’s out of retrograde.) So in an effort to keep January moving at a positive, forward-moving-into-the-new-year-and-your-best-self clip, this round of horoscopes is going to be a little different, themed around THE ONE THING YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO KNOW. There will hopefully be less poop references than there were in this intro (no promises about excessive parenthetical asides) although that has nothing to do with keeping the mystery alive and everything to do with my your tolerance of my humor.
And with that, en garde! Strap on your ice skates and let’s get started!
Capricorn
What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t decorate your proverbial locker right here in Horoscope Hall and proclaim to you, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!”
With that settled and out of the way, hello Capricorn nuts (great snack)! Susan Thriller says that “this will be an extraordinary month for you. Heavenly bodies are migrating to your sign at a scale you’ve never seen, including the Sun, new moon, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Pluto in Capricorn on January 16.” Per her, “this is your chance to get your way.” Or the HIGHWAY! Am I right? But what’s so bad about a highway, anyway?
Hit it, Tom Cochrane!
Assuming you don’t consider this the “sitting in traffic” equivalent of celestial predictions, you’ll be focused on your home next month and for years to come, apparently. That sounds awfully cozy to me.
January 6th and 8th are great days for friendship so tell everyone to text you then. Keep yourself unplugged until then. When it comes to charm, I’m pretty sure I just saw a toothpaste ad-quality sparkle beam off your tooth, because from now until the 17th you’re dazzling the pants off everyone. Your shine’s so sparkly I heard them calling you a Liberace jumpsuit from a mile away. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some keys(board) to tickle.
Aquarius
Fresh water Aquarius, I hear from my frood friend Frusan that you need a little vacation after your vacation! If you don’t know where to start, do what I just did: remove the first letter of words then add an “fr” to frem (see? “frem” instead of “them”) — for literally no reason. Do that in your work emails and see if anyone understands what you’re talking about. They won’t, and I typically don’t, so it’s kind of like being alone on a relaxing deserted island, until someone gets annoyed with you, I guess.
If confusing everyone is not your thing and you hate seeing the angry red squiggle of your computer’s inner editor shouting, “THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A WORD!!! STOP PUTTING ‘FR’ IN FRONT OF WORDS UNNECESSARILY,” then just try taking it easy until the new moon on January 16th, “when most of the solar system will be grouped in your twelfth house of solitude and reflection.” I.e. you won’t miss out on the party if you put your feet up for a bit and stay in. It’s too cold out there anyways.
Even though you’re chilling, now’s a wonderful time for your career, especially when it comes to new job stuff. Keep your ear hopes open around the 5th. Susan said the 6th too but that’s a weekend so byeeeeee.
Overall, this is bound to be a year of excitement, change, and growth. Susan said that. She baked those words like cookies made with love. I just put the oven mitt on and took them out of the oven.
Pisces
My favorite fish sticks! If you couldn’t relax in December, well guess the hell what? Now you can. January has you primed for straight chilling. (Join an Aquarius under the sea: they too have their feet up.) And please do chill all you want, but don’t forget your reflexes because–
Suz Mail coming in hot! “January 16 finds more than half the solar system circulating in your eleventh house of friendship and fun events, thanks to the arrival of the Sun, new moon, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Pluto, all in Capricorn. This configuration will bring new friends, invitations to groups, and happy experiences with friends, and for you, this will be the case.”
Okay! So it’s going to be all about the friendship for you this month, to which you may say, “I love my friends, but they do not help me relax. They are party animals.” That’s why it gets cold in the winter, silly fish! Do you forget because you live in the ocean? (So cool, by the way.) Mammals hibernate in the winter, especially humans! Encourage your friends to join you in a furry-leg filled rendition of how much cookie dough can we eat without getting so sick that we don’t want to eat the pizza we just ordered. Let me know if I can come.
Something else you might like to know before I pack a bag and head over is that, “Mars will tour your tenth house of honors, awards, and achievement from January 26 until March 17.” That means that if you were even beginning to think about feeling work-guilty about relaxing, now you have no excuse not to say, “You know what, I rule, and I deserve this nap.”
Aries  
First of all, Aries, in the name of a new year and therefore potentially a new monogram (why not!) I’d like to run some new nicknames by you and let all Aries vote in the comments. Do you like…
A) Aries David, like Larry David, but more Ram-like.
B) ArieZona Iced Tea, stylized as such to keep in line with the tall boy can choice of my youth — a harrowing stylistic decision given that I was unsure if it was more responsible to add the Aries’ standard ‘S’ before the AriZona Z (but I stand by it).
C) Faries, instead of fairies. A little less fun but it makes me think of FernGully, which I do only every so often, when looking for mullet inspiration.
Anyway, let me know in the comments below. All of this was a lead-up to tell you that sometimes, when it comes to horoscopes, I truly believe (though you wouldn’t know it) that less is more, which is why, Aries, by January 6, you will be a “virtual money magnet,” per Susan Miller, and you’ll reach “a major development in your romantic relationship.” If that doesn’t hint toward a similar vein as the Markles’ recent engagement photos and sound like a good time and a bottle of wine, then I don’t know what does.
Taurus
Thanks for getting the door, Taur! This month, I have to tell you, is all about travel for us. Just a whole butt and bucketload of travel! When I read this I was like, listen Susan, I traveled on January 1st as you said I would (which, no offense, wasn’t exactly the most revelatory prediction of the year given that a lot of people traveled on this date what with the holiday and all), but I have no other travel planned.
And then I thought to myself, wait a minute, I did not grow up watching Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood for nothing, and I can travel using my imagination to do all sorts of things like draw or write or be more creative or check out what kind of bedspread my neighbors may or may not be using. I can time travel a la the tesseract if I truly needed. (Put me out of my misery, please, and just let me have a private showing of A Wrinkle in Time, Ava, I beg of you!!! Are you still reading? Who am I and in what century are we partying?) I can also very well travel to and from all sorts of local destinations. This weekend, for example, I’d love nothing more than to travel the entire circumference of my couch.
So anyway, if you have trips of any kind, I’d love to know about them.
Something else to know about our sign because that wasn’t much (blame the planets!!!), is that Mars and Jupiter are doing the horizontal dance in Scorpio, our house of marriage this month, which they have not done since August 9th, 1982 — and I wasn’t born yet. So get ready to take that metaphorically or literally and run with it. A partner will come in handy toward the middle of the month (January 16th) when Susan says something’s going to try to come out of NOWHERE and fuck shit up (blame Uranus, who I know I said I wouldn’t talk about and am done with this sentence) but she is confident we can blast through whatever’s head so long as we think calmly (hahahahah I don’t do that!), act methodically and react swiftly. But that partner, remember? They’ll be your saving grace.
Gemini
Gemini. I can’t lie to you. Things have taken a turn for the strange this round of horoscopes. What started out as an idea to offer up the ONE THING each sign needed to know turned into a whirlwinded fury of subconscious blathering-ons and I just am not too sure if any signs know what the hell is going on, but they’re all sure as hell going to try to make it work. Is that not a true and sort of beautiful metaphor for our human existence, or by George, did I do it again and lose my mind in the jungle? Let’s conduct a poll, shall we? That’s the only real productive thing I’ve managed to accomplish.
When it comes to Repell-o Scopes, do you read them to:
A) Pass the time while getting a wax
B) Actually want to know how to predict your month ahead
C) Have a solid example of what NOT to do with your journalism degree
or D) Waffles
If you chose D, here’s some maple syrup: on January 8th, Jupiter will send a “shimmering signal to the Sun on January 8,” which is a brilliant day to schedule meetings and set up times to talk with VIPs, or anyone who you need to really listen to you, to your ideas, to your greatest existential being. If that meeting was good but not “WOW-IE!,” no worries, January 10th bring even more support from the higher-ups you need to move along your next area of ladder climbing. Susan encourages that you use this time to negotiate and keep negotiating.
“That entire week, from January 6 to 9 will be special for you,” she says, even though the 6th is a weekend and she keeps forgetting this, “but you must make an effort to negotiate finances and make decisions about them.” Apparently tension about money, if you’re feeling any, will let the hell up by the 19th. After that, you’ll turn to travel. Apparently I’m going to be aboard Steve Zissou’s underwater vessel all month so join me, won’t you?
Cancer
Crunchy lovely orange crabs!!! I thought of you the whole time I was home in San Francisco because I brought my man friend who was visiting various tourist destinations and I forgot just how interwoven the theme of the CRAB is into the city. It’s like Maine’s lobster, but not, because it’s the San Francisco crab. (Btw I’m looking at the California bear as we speak — my mom got me a pillow with the bear on it — and the bear seems on board. We’re all friends here!)
Let’s talk ‘scope because my fingers are going numb: A lot of your January horoscope revolved around career and money. All good things because I say so! But!!! You’re positioned to enter a highly romantic period, too, and right now that just feels more festive to type about.
Susan writes, “If you feel the energies of the month in a more romantic way, you may get engaged or married, especially at some point during the first seven days of January (which may have started December 30 or 31, too). A golden triangle will appear in the sky at that time, formed by several heavenly bodies, specifically the moon in Cancer (you), Mars and Jupiter (true love and romance), and Neptune (sumptuous long distance travel). Additionally, in the first ten days of January, your crowd of planets will receive shimmering vibrations from Neptune (inspiration), Jupiter (happiness), and Mars (energy).” It was just a lot which is why I had to copy/paste it. Also, I refuse to pass up an opportunity to read someone else’s words about “shimmering vibrations.”
Anyway, please remember that everything is a metaphor when it comes to horoscopes and “engaged” or “married” can mean whatever you want it to, in whatever field you want it to. For example, I may become “engaged” to a BLT in about four seconds, and I feel like I’m about to get “married” to my couch the moment the clock strikes weekend.
Oh and enjoy all the money you’re due to make at the end of the month!
Leo
Oh you big beautiful cat! Let me comb your mane with my fingers. I just told Virgo down below that I forgot to watch Love, Actually over the holidays. I weirdly watched barely any holiday movies, come to think of it, which makes me sad because I have a pretty strong policy against post-December holiday movie-watching…but if there’s a snowstorm, fuck it, I’ll slip in Family Stone and you can’t stop me! Also, when it comes to holiday movies off-season, am I the only other person who loves Dan in Real Life and doesn’t know where it belongs on the calendar? It’s not a SUPREMELY holiday-ish movie, but it’s also not not one either. Sigh. Anyway, the movie I did watch over the holidays that was slightly holiday-thematic is The Chronicles of Narnia! 
You know, I love this music video^ but have always felt that this is a rather active Sunday. Like they go from the West Village to the Upper West Side for a movie? That is a lot of schlepping, mostly because it involves a commitment to being somewhere on time. Kinda gives me Sunday anxiety.
I forgot my point. OH FOUND IT! The lion thing made me think of Chronicles of Narnia, hence the detour, and now we’re here:
Your one thing to know this January round of horoscopes is that January will be a “strenuous month at work,” (Susan said but I know you can handle this!) “so find frequent ways to treat your body, mind, and spirit with care.” Roll your Lion sleeves up, crack your knuckles, get down with the get down toward your road of success and then later that night, have a DIY spa. Ahhh.
Your biggest day of the whole MONTH, just as a heads up, is January 31st. It will bring about a big ol’ conclusion on something major in your life you’ve been working on. Don’t you just love giant bows that wrap things up?
Virgo
Virgo I have a quick poll to run by you, which Virgo-name-pun would have been more funny had I not just felt the need to run it by you?
Would it have been:
A) Virgo-go Power Rangers!
B) Virgo who can’t drive (an homage, of course, to Clueless)
or C) Virgo Mobile/Virgo Airlines
I want to say A or B, feel like I dropped the joke ball on C and more than anything need you Virgos to know that unfortunately, you will probably hear D, all of the above, in the future. As for your great horoscope that is the OPPOSITE of unfortunate, you can kind of just chill a bit and eat pineapples or whatever it is you do in your recreational time until the new moon of January 16th, because on that date, your fifth house of true love is going to be lit ALL THE WAY UP!
Here’s your one thing to know about your sign this month: “With an extraordinary number of heavenly bodies filling this area of your chart,” writes Susan, who should definitely have a cameo in A Wrinkle in Time, I am now convinced, “including the Sun, new moon, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Pluto – if single, you will be open to meeting new people. Virgo rarely has unrealistic expectations, especially in matters of the heart, and that will put you in a good position to decide which persons you’d like to meet and know better, as well as which persons to pass up.” If you’re not single, well then get ready to get all Vir-goo-goo eyes at your loved one! Nothing says devotion like staring straight into your loved one’s pores. IT IS A MONTH OF ROMANCE!!! The whole month. All of it. I may have just decided this but don’t I get a say? It’s your life so you certainly do.
January 6th is a good day to start a project and the 31st is going to be extraordinarily relaxing, where love is not concerned. Even though “love, actually … is all around.” Or however that movie goes. I forgot to watch it in December!!!
Libra
Liberace, I hope you can forgive me for making a Liberace joke in another sign, I know that’s usually our thing but I was referencing a glitter jumpsuit or some such nonsense.
Let’s focus, because I promised we’d streamline these ‘scopes this month and if we’re being honest (we always are, aren’t we) I haven’t done the best job streamlining it. I’ve been rambling — realllll rambling man, as they say.
Lotta money for you this month, especially close to January 6th, when “Jupiter, giver of gifts and luck, will conjunct Mars.” (Hi Suz quote!) “This is a rare aspect, for these two Titans of the planetary lineup only happen once every two years, but when they do, the always meet in a different sign. This year these luminaries will meet in your second house of earned income, so you will have the money for any life transitions you might be planning. Take this aspect seriously – it won’t come again until November 24, 2053.”
What the hell is in 2053! What kind of sneakers will you be wearing? WHO WILL BE PRESIDENT? Who’s to say, but let’s pray for great things and until then, enjoy your piles of money. Part of me wants to say spend them wisely but the other part of me is like, “I’m hungry!”
(Okay fine, sure: Susan gives one slight heads-up that come January 16th, you will be happy you have an extra cushion for the pushin’ because you’ll want to spend some cash on your home. She suspects you’re making changes in your “living situation.” Should we talk shelves? Should we talk apartments at large?
One more thing! This month, LOVE IS IN THE AIR AND IT SMELLS LIKE BABY GOATS IN PAJAMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scorpio
Scorpio I hope your pinchy claws can hold umbrellas because you’re going to need to take cover come January 6th: whole lotta MONEY is about to rain down!!!
$$$$$ YAYYYYY $$$$$$$$$$$$$
Mars is in your sign until January 26th, which means at work, it’s time for you to take the lead. People already listen to you, per Suz, but boy oh boy is the floor ever yours and are people watching you! It means that now is your time to shine. Would you like some wine with that cheese?
I was just in Napa and can barely tell you anything about my opinion on which wine selection to choose today, if you were about to ask me. The one that doesn’t taste like vinegar that I just found in my fridge? For real: how long can you drink a bottle of wine after you open it and put the cork back in? How do you know if it “tastes a little funky,” or if it’s straight up poison? Can you cook with bad wine like you can make banana bread with old bananas? All ears in the comments down below.
Actually no! I am not drunk today, thank you for asking!
But, er, what I think I keep attempting to get at is that a lot of your money may come from approved proposals and such because of that floor being yours, and you taking advantage of it. Catch my drift? And you’re scheduled to get an award at the end of the month. That sounds grand. You deserve it. I’ll hang it on my fridge if yours isn’t magnetic!
Sagittarius
Hoorrayyyy half-horsed and behooved friend of mine! If you’ve been working on a big idea, perhaps one that lives behind your gut or within your brain space or within the confines of your computer — wherever — then this is the month for it to begin to see the light of day! “Mars will allow you to push your idea or project out in the open for all to see when it moves into Sagittarius on January 26 to stay until March 17,” writes Thriller.
But I think she uses a key grouping of words there: “Mars will allow you to push your idea,” meaning Mars has its hands out like, “Alright fuckers! Stand back and make way for brilliance!” so that you can charge through like the four-legged cool creature that you are and really make some progress. Fight for your right to party and succeed! It’s all up to you though — that’s what I’m getting at. Sleep now, rest now, so that you’ve got a fire (the safe kind) lit under your butt when it comes time to make moves.
“This will be the most important part of the year for you to push through your biggest ideas,” Susan continues, and I keep quoting her because I’ve lost my damn mind and I like what she has to say today. “You will have the podium, the spotlight, and the microphone; and influential people will sit up and take notice of all you have to say. VIPs will be impressed with your courage, energy, and drive, and will be drawn to want to help you reach your goals. This is no time to be shy or to think on a small scale. You only get Mars every two years in your own sign, and once you have it, as you will starting on January 26, you must use it.”
USE IT ALL, CELESTIAL NEIGH-BOR. I’ll be over here with my chin in my hands, ready to text you a bundle of confetti when you say, “I did it!”
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Michael After Midnight: Captain Planet and the Planeteers
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You knew it was coming. No series of reviews of cheesy 90s environmental movies would be complete without the crown jewel of such things, Captain Planet and the Planeteers. This show is legendary for being the cheesiest, corniest bunch of heavy-handed moralizing you could ever hope to see on television, filled with dorky puns and blatantly evil villains… and for that, it is without a doubt one of my favorite cartoons ever. And might I just say it also has one of my favorite end credits songs ever?
So what is this show about? So five multinational kids are selected by Gaea to gain magical rings of power to defend the Earth. The rings correspond to an element – Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, and Heart (which is not technically an element) – and allow the kids to have cool-ass powers. But even better, when all of the kids combine their powers together, they can summon forth the ultimate guardian of Earth, a blue man with a green mullet who spouts puns named CAPTAIN PLANET! Basically it’s like if FernGully and Power Rangers had a baby and said baby was forced to watch nature documentaries 24/7. Anyway, these kids gotta go fight the evil villains and shit and stop them from doing everything from polluting to selling drugs to kids to selling actual nukes to Hitler. Can they make the world a better place? I mean, they sure made my world a better place, this shit is hilarious!
Okay, honesty time: as much as it’s easy to snark at this show for the terrible morals it sometimes espoused (they did two episodes on population control, and the morals there are some of the most botched morals you will ever see), this show did generally speaking have its heart in the right place and it really did deliver some solid messages. For instance, there was an episode centered around AIDS, something that wasn’t really a thing people were educated about at the time the show came out thanks to everyone’s favorite senile moron Ronald Reagan and his mess of an administration. The episode’s moral, that people with the disease are just normal people in need of help and not freaks to be shunned, is frankly an important one, especially for the time period. This isn’t the only tough subject the show tackled; it tackled a lot of gritty issues like this that other animated shows of the time wouldn’t dare go near. There’s episodes on drug dealing, four on gang violence, hell people even actually die in some episodes! And there a re plenty of solid environmental issues along with social ones. For every poorly-handled message, there’s always a couple of really well-done or ballsy messages to make up for it.
The diversity of our heroes is also a nice touch. We got the Eastern European Linka, the Southeast Asian Gi, the African Kwame, the South American Ma-Ti, and the American from New York, Joey Wheeler (No, not that one)… the fact they’re from all around the world really does kinda drive home the series’ point that we all gotta contribute to make the world a better place. They aren’t too shabby as characters, either; sure, they can be corny and cliché, but none of them are too unenjoyable or anything.   And then we come to our final hero, Captain Planet himself, and I just gotta say it: I love this fucking doofus. Every line of dialogue is the cheesiest pun you can imagine to suit the situation, his style is so obnoxiously, goofily 90s, and he’s just an absolute blast. It helps he has a really pleasant and heroic voice and that despite his numerous weaknesses and the sheer cheese factor of the character, he is pretty cool.
Now we have the villains! No superhero show is complete without a robust rogues gallery, and boy oh boy do we have a rogues gallery here! Let me just list off some of the villains we have here, along with their celebrity VA: Hoggish Greedly (Ed Asner), a pig-man who is the embodiment of overconsumption of natural resources; Looten Plunder (played by James Coburn, who you’ll likely know as Waternoose from Monsters, Inc.), an evil poacher and corrupt businessman; Sly Sludge (Martin Sheen), a lazy waste disposal specialist who is the living embodiment of careless, thoughtless waste disposal; Verminous Skumm (Uh, Jeff, uh, Jeff Goldblum), an evil rat man who seems to do evil for shits and giggles; Dr. Blight (Meg Ryan), a wicked scientist with an evil computer sidekick named MAL who was played by Tim Curry (Not the first time he’s played a villain who is not eco-friendly as you may recall); Zarm (Sting, of The Police fame), an evil former guardian spirit of Earth who now murders planets; and Duke Nukem (no, not THAT one), a radioactive mutant. It should be noted a lot of these celebs were replaced with more typical VAs in later seasons; for example, Maurice LaMarche took over Skumm and Nukem, Mary Kay Bergman took over Blight, stuff like that. Zarm’s third VA was Malcolm McDowell, which is cool as hell, and Asner stayed the whole series, so it wasn’t all around that things changed, and I believe Tim Curry was actually a replacement VA. So yes, this rogues gallery has great voice actors all around, whether they be big celebs or famous professional voice actors, they’re all hilariously hammy and cheesy, and they all do what needs to be done to impede the Planeteers and drive the plot along. As absolutely stereotypical, cartoonish, and blatantly evil as all these people are in looks and name, you’d be hard pressed not to have picked a favorite after a few episodes.
This is some of the goofiest, dopiest, most anvilicious animation you could ever hope to see, but goddamn if I don’t love every dopey minute of it. Maybe it’s nostalgia, maybe it’s the Earth Day marathons I watched on Boomerang, who knows, but I have a soft spot in my heart for this show that will never die. I’ll be the first to admit this show is cheesy and silly, but you know, it did a lot of things other cartoons didn’t dare do, talked about shit no one else wanted to talk about. Yeah, it fucked up sometimes, but you have to give it credit for trying to be more serious than other cartoons of its kind. Call it a guilty pleasure, call it so bad it’s good, but you can never call Captain Planet unwatchably bad.
THE POWER IS YOURS!
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