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fullsandwichmiracle · 5 months

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"Oxford: A Year Abroad”

Paring: Felix Catton x reader

Warning: 18+, nsfw, alcohol MDNI

Word count: 1622

01|02|03|04|05|?

Y/N was enrolled at Oxford as an exchange student, specializing in economics. Securing a solo dorm since her roommate was a no-show, the room radiated old-money featuring two beds on either side, accompanied by a desk and a drawer. Opting for a rearrangement, she transformed the space by fashioning a king-size bed on one side and situating the desk and drawer on the opposite side, creating an illusion of more space. Following the successful room makeover, Y/N took a swift shower to freshen herself up to make a favorable first impression.

Y/N proceeded to the hall where all the international students were set to gather for campus information. The tour guide, Venetia, with bleached blonde hair in braids, began by extending a warm welcome to the international students and then led the group towards the library. The library exuded a cozy atmosphere, and Y/N noticed a guy sitting on a couch with some mates, engrossed in studies. He quickly glanced Y/N up and down before Venetia remarked,

"Hi Felix, nice to see you studying for once."

Felix chuckled in response, saying,

"Nice to see you sober for once."

With that, Venetia briskly continued the tour, urging everyone to follow, casually dismissing the encounter. The reminding part of the tour was rather uneventful, and Y/N returned to her room after its conclusion. On her way back, she encountered Felix again, this time standing in a door frame engaged in conversation with a girl. It was evident that he towered over Y/N by at least a head, if not more. He appeared unfazed and his hair was roughed up but looking perfect. Realizing she was accidentally staring, she looked away, hoping he hadn't noticed, and continued walking back to her dorm.

Upon entering her dorm, Y/N glimpsed into the mirror and noticed a flush on her cheeks from the encounter. Felix, tall and quite attractive, struck her as unlike anyone she'd ever encountered. The remainder of the evening was dedicated to packing up the remaining items and dressing the bed in light pink covers. Y/N then changed into her pajamas, gearing up for the upcoming first week of lectures.

At the end of a full week of classes, Friday arrived, and all Y/N desired was to join her new classmates for a night of drinks. Rumors circulated about a party hosted by someone named Farleigh, to which one of her friends had secured an invite. Seeking some excitement for the night, Y/N opted for a more daring outfit, wearing a linen blouse with a plunging neckline, a lace bra, a short denim skirt barely concealing her ass, and a stylish yet steady pair of pink heels. Before heading to the party with her friends, she took two shots of vodka to calm her nerves.

As the cab arrived at the party, Y/N's friend, who got the invite, led the way to the gate and buzzed for entry. The gates opened without any verbal exchange. Upon entering the house, they discovered a bustling scene with people scattered all around and a makeshift bar. The group then separated, each exploring the lively gathering. Y/N approached the bar, scanning the surroundings to determine if it operated on a self-service basis or if there was a bartender. A guy emerged from what appeared to be a cupboard, holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and wine in the other. Y/N approached the guy, asking him where she could get a drink. He smiled and replied,"Hello, I'm Farleigh. Feel free to help yourself to anything, sexy.”

Glancing at Y/N from head to toe, he suggested, "How about kicking off the night with a glass of white?”

Pouring a wine glass nearly to the brim, she gazed at the filled glass, smiled, and remarked, "That would be lovely Farleigh. My name is Y/N.”

Farleigh smirked and headed off to attend to his other guests.

After wandering around the house for a bit and finishing her wine, Y/N spotted the pool in the backyard where people were engaged in drinking games. A group playing beer pong caught her eye, and after observing a round, she went back inside to grab a fresh drink to join in. Upon her return, they were organizing players, and Y/N approached the table. On the opposing side stood Felix with Farleigh, and a seemingly random girl joined Y/N's side. Yet, it wasn't just any girl; it was Venetia, the one who led the tour. As the game kicked off, a crowd gathered to watch. The guys scored on their first throw, and Venetia took the initial drink. The game was evenly matched, with the guys having two cups left and Y/N and Venetia with one. Felix kissed the ball and scored directly into the cup. Y/N smirked at Felix before downing the cup filled with warm beer. Not a fan of the taste, she quickly sipped the cider she had obtained earlier. Venetia took Y/N by the hand, leading her to the poolside where a fireplace was situated. Felix and Farleigh had just arrived, and others were playing truth or dare. Venetia asked, "Mind if we join your little game?" as she sat down, pulling Y/N with her.

The game started off quite mild, but with each question, it escalated into more risqué territory. When Venetia declined to answer a question, Farleigh revealed a hidden bottle of tequila from a bag behind him, declaring, "Every time someone doesn't answer, they have to take a swig from this tequila.”

Venetia took the bottle, downed two swigs, grinned, and handed it to Y/N, saying, "Y/N, I dare you to knock back two shots or spill the beans on who on this lot you fancy for a cheeky quickie.”

Y/N glanced at Felix, then gulped down the tequila, going beyond the two shots and placing the bottle back. Felix stared at Y/N with a grin, seemingly formulating a plan, which he whispered to Farleigh.

When it was Farleigh's turn, he gazed at Felix, nodded, and remarked, " Y/N I dare you to take a lounge into the pool or tell us what position you want Felix fuck you in.”.

Felix glared at Farleigh and remarked, "You didn't have to be that aggressive.”

Y/N started to blush as all eyes were on her, awaiting her response. Having already consumed a bit too much tequila, taking a leap into the pool didn't seem like a terrible idea. Y/N rose from her seat and walked towards the pool's edge. Before taking the plunge, she removed her denim skirt to prevent it from getting soaked, revealing her pink string and someone whistled as she was bending down to take off her heels. Pinching her nose, Y/N leapt into the pool, tossing her shirt aside. As she hit the water, the chill had a sobering effect, and she realized the extent of what she had just done. She had exposed herself in only underwear to everyone around the pool. Feeling a tad embarrassed, Y/N climbed out of the pool and hastily dressed herself again, still soaked in water the blouse quickly became transparent and skirt denim darkened in color as if she had jumped into the pool with them on. She returned to the fire to warm up, taking a shot of tequila to help erase the recent events from her mind. This time, she chose to sit beside Felix who was staring at her chest that was now fully exposed with only her transparent blouse and the lace bra she was wearing under it. Y/N looked at Felix and realized that there was a big bulge in his pants, for the bulge to be that big he had to have a big package Y/N thought and then looked up and met Felix face that was covered in a big grin because he noticed how long she looking at his bulge. He put his hand on Y/N's inner thigh asking "Feeling a bit chilly? Wanna head inside?”

He looked down at Y/N breasts again and her nipples which nearly pierced through her shirt. Y/N nodded, and Felix fetched a blanket, draping it around her. He extended his hand, gesturing for her to take it. Leading Y/N into the house, Felix guided her up the stairs and into a room. It appeared to be someone's bedroom—quite lavish, with a bed that looked incredibly inviting. He whispered, "May I assist you in taking off your blouse? I reckon it won't be of much help in keeping you warm.”

Y/N nodded again to flustered to speak, Felix began taking off the wet blouse and kissing the neck once the shirt was off. “ Take your skirt off” he whispered whilst kissing her ear. She began taking off her skirt that was now very tight due to it being wet. Felix noticed how much she was struggling and ripped them off. As he did Y/N let out a small moan and he chuckled. “ As much as I would love to fuck you sweetie, you're to drunk and need to sleep but I can join you if you want”.

Felix tucked Y/N into bed, and she promptly drifted off to sleep. He planted a kiss on her forehead, undressed, and hopped into the bed beside her.

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 6 months

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Stuck On You

Pairing: Michael Gavey (Saltburn) x f!reader Warnings: Dark themes, slut shaming, obsessive behaviour, smut.

Word count: ~6k

Summary: When her email is hacked and racy photos she'd sent to her boyfriend find their way onto Myspace, she becomes the social pariah of Oxford University. She turns to the only person she believes is intelligent enough to be able to help; Michael Gavey. Could uncovering the truth of the situation make things worse than they already are?

Author's note: Written to celebrate one year of my blog existing. Sorry for the delay. Crumbageddon beat the shit out of me. No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications. Community labels are for cops.

“Using a painting of that former duchess as a conversation piece, he describes what he saw as her unfaithfulness, frivolity, and stubbornness, and implies that he prefers her as a painting rather than as a…as a living woman,” her voice shakes, stumbling over her words, watching as her essay papers slip from her hands, fluttering towards the rug of the study.

“Sh-shit…I’m sorry,” she stammers, leaning down to snatch them back up, feeling her skin heat up with embarrassment as she attempts to rustle them back into order.

“Everything alright?” Professor Ware asks, shifting in his seat and clasping his hands in his lap.

“Distracted by her own portrait, I should imagine,” snarks Farleigh, cutting her off before she has a chance to reply.

He smirks up at her, before returning his focus to the screen of his Macbook, fingers tapping quickly across the keys as he sits on the floor with it in his lap, leaning back against the armchair she currently sits in, his legs crossed at the ankle.

Of course he’d left it until the last minute to do his essay. Lazy prick.

“Stop it,” she hisses, knocking his shoulder with her knee.

“Why? It’s up again already anyway,” he retorts with a casual shrug, not bothering to look at her this time.

Her blood runs ice cold, dread gnawing a pit in her stomach. That would be the fourth time this week.

“Where?!” She demands, leaning down to snatch Farleigh’s Macbook from him, ignoring his protestation of “hey!” as she clicks on the minimised Internet Explorer window to see her Myspace profile already open.

Just as he’d said, there she is. Her profile picture depicts her in a lacy two piece lingerie set, laying on her bed, her cleavage, stomach and thighs on full display. She’d thought the angle flattering when she’d first held the digital camera above herself and snapped the picture, but now it’s splashed all over the internet for everyone to see. It makes her feel sick.

“I have to go,” she says hurriedly, shoving Farleigh’s Macbook back into his lap and stuffing her essay papers into her bag.

She almost trips over Farleigh’s long legs in her rush to escape the tutorial room, the air suddenly feeling too thick and difficult to breathe, as her heart hammers in her chest. Her feet carry her down the hallway in quick strides, no particular direction in mind, just eager to get away.

It had all seemed like innocent fun at first. She had felt excited on the second day of Fresher’s Week when a group of girls from the floor of her accommodation had invited her to go shopping with them

They had wrinkled their noses as she had beelined for the Ann Summers in Westgate Shopping Centre, lured by the big, red sale banner in the window.

“Oh darling,” India had cooed, “don’t buy that rubbish. We’ll get the train into London and take you to Rigby and Peller in Mayfair, if it’s lingerie you’re after.”

She had balked inwardly at the thought of how expensive that would be, but had simply smiled politely, stating “this is fine”, more than happy with the matching black lace set she’d picked from the sale rail.

Back in her room, she’d tried it on, loving the way the material hugged her curves and felt against her skin. Excitedly, she’d dug out her digital camera, contorting herself into various poses that she felt best displayed her assets, until she was satisfied she had several that looked good.

She hadn’t seen her boyfriend, Jake, since she had left for Oxford and he had gone to Brighton. Their reading weeks didn’t align, which meant they’d have to wait until the term came to an end to see each other at Christmas.

Emailing him the photos had felt like a nice way for them to maintain some sort of intimacy, despite the distance, and he’d certainly appreciated it, as a couple of hours later she’d gotten a text from him which simply said “wow!”

The high from that had left her with a smile on her face for days, until she’d stepped out of a tutorial a few days later to see a missed call and a text from him.

“What the fuck are you playing at?!” It had read.

She’d called him back straight away, the urge to vomit growing acrid in her throat as he’d told her what he’d seen, holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder, she’d scrambled with shaking hands to free her laptop from her bag, to confirm what Jake was saying.

There it was. Her Myspace profile picture had been changed to one of the lingerie photos she’d sent to him. This one was a full length photo she’d taken, aiming the camera at the mirror in her room.

The hot prickle of tears had burned beneath her eyelids, as she’d drawn in a shaky breath. “Wh-why would you do that?” She’d whispered tearfully into the phone.

“It wasn’t me!” Jake had snapped angrily. “Perhaps if you hadn't taken those bloody photos in the first place then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Are you seriously blaming me?!”

“It just looks bad. I think maybe we should cool things for a bit, I can’t with be someone that—”

Tears had rolled down her cheeks as she’d pulled the phone away from her ear, seeing the call had cut off. She’d run out of credit. In a way, she was grateful; she didn’t want to listen to Jake ending their relationship, to continue to blame her for something that wasn’t her fault.

She had taken the photo down, changed her profile picture back to what it was before, and changed the password for both Myspace and her email. However, the damage was done, the whispers of “slut” as she walked to lectures had already started.

Another two days later she had entered the IT lab to print out her essay, and saw a group huddled around a computer, laughing together. They had turned, immediately quietening down, their voices hushed whispers as they looked at her.

She had pushed them apart, already knowing what it was they were all looking at, but wanting to confirm it. Just as she’d suspected, her Myspace profile was open. This time her photo had been changed to an over the shoulder shot. The side of her face and her buttocks visible as she’d arched her back.

Running back to her room, tears of humiliation blurring her vision, she’d taken the photo down again and changed all her passwords. But once again, it was too little, too late. A print out of the photo slipped beneath her door that same day, with the word “whore” scrawled across it.

Her friends were already starting to pull away, the invites to the pub had dried up into nothing. When another photo had been uploaded, Felix had pulled her to one side.

“Look, I think it’s incredibly daring of you to be doing what you’re doing, and I respect the fuck out of you for it, really I do,” he’d said, eyes filled with sympathy as he’d looked down at her. “But a few of us really aren’t comfortable with how you’re going about…getting attention, so I just think it’s for the best if we take some space until you’ve figured out whatever this is.”

She had been stunned by his words, her eyes going wide as her mouth had dropped open. “You think I’m doing this to myself?!”

“Well, what else are we supposed to think? We’re worried about you. There are better…healthier ways to make yourself stand out. Just come clean and all of this can stop.”

Turning away in disgust, anger and betrayal flaring white hot in her chest, she’d walked away. This was happening to her, she wasn’t complicit in it, and yet people continued to act like it was her fault. She had started to wonder if she really was to blame. Had she tempted fate by taking those photos in the first place?

Today was the fourth time a photo had been uploaded and having fled from the tutorial with Professor Ware and Farleigh, she finds herself in the Bodleian Library, having walked on instinct.

It serves as a quiet refuge for her in moments when she feels overwhelmed, hiding among the shelves, admiring tomes that are older than she is. She’d come here on her first day, when the influx of new people, sights and sounds had become too much, and she had crouched between the stacks the first time one of her photos had been leaked. The smell of old books and the peace and quiet feels safe.

Walking silently between the study tables she spots him, alone, as he always is; Michael Gavey. He is hunched over a notebook, scribbling furious notes, stopping occasionally to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger.

She had thoroughly embarrassed herself the first time she’d met him, the only time she had ever spoken to him. It had been the night of the fresher’s welcome dinner. She’d heard his outburst in the dining hall, heard how he had answered the subsequent multiplication sum flawlessly and been bowled over by how effortlessly brilliant he was. It was intimidating.

Yet, later that evening fuelled by the courage of five tropical watermelon flavoured Bacardi Breezers, she’d stumbled over to him in the rec room, ignoring how he’d recoiled slightly at her advancing towards him.

She’d wrapped an arm around his neck, taking no notice of the way he’d stiffened beneath her touch.

“Wha’s nine hundred and ninety nine divided by thirteen?” She’d slurred into his ear.

He had bristled slightly, before answering quietly. “Seventy six point eight five.”

She had giggled, patting his cheek, knocking his glasses askew. “Don’t even know how to check that, but I’ll take your word for it, genius.”

Kissing his cheek, she’d stumbled away, leaving him to wipe away the sticky residue her lips had left behind, while Felix and Farleigh had fallen about themselves, laughing, finding it far funnier than she’d intended for it to be. She had ended up making him a laughing stock without even meaning to.

The memory fills her with shame. She really did find him impressive. He was precisely the type of person she had wanted to rub shoulders with when she arrived at Oxford, yet she had made a fool of herself instead.

She smiled at him whenever she caught his eye on the rare occasions they crossed paths, but he’d either look away or stare at her expressionless.

Perhaps now was her opportunity to make amends. She has no friends now anyway, so it’s not as though she has anything to lose.

Walking over to his table, before she has a chance to talk herself out of it, she sits down heavily in the seat next to him, depositing her bag onto the tabletop.

Michael’s pen pauses its movements, and slowly his head turns to the side, narrowing his eyes at her in silent question.

She suddenly has the urge to run, realising this was a terrible idea. She feels enormous discomfort beneath the scrutiny of his gaze yet, determined to push through it, she offers him a bright smile.

“You’re Michael, aren’t you?” She says, attempting to sound more cheerful than she feels.

“Yes,” he replies simply, placing his pen down and straightening in his seat.

“Thought so. I’m–”

“I know who you are,” he cuts her off. “What do you want?”

“Oh,” she swallows, shifting awkwardly in her seat. She hadn’t anticipated him being quite so blunt. “Well, I wanted to apologise for how I behaved on the first night. I thought maybe we could be friends?”

He scoffs, the corners of his mouth turning up into the faintest of smirks. “As if I’d be friends with someone who’s reading literature. Why pay all that money in tuition fees for a glorified book club?”

For a moment she doesn’t know what to say. Shock, offense and hurt swirl in a hot mixture in her chest. She fights the embarrassing urge to burst into tears. Her voice is small and weak when she finally asks “How do you know what I’m studying?”

Michael nods towards the desk. “There’s a book of Robert Browning poetry sticking out of your bag.”

“Right, yeah…” She feels her skin heat up, turning to slowly tuck the book further down inside, still able to feel his eyes upon her. It’s disconcerting to be observed so closely.

“Where’s that group of losers you usually hang around with anyway?”

The question takes her by surprise, and she laughs softly, though there is no real humour to it. “I don’t think they want to hang around with me anymore.”

“So you’re a Norman no mates too then?”

His expression has softened, a slight playfulness brightens his blue eyes as she looks back at him, and she can’t help but smile. “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

He leans forward, resting his elbow on the table and propping his chin up on his hand. “Hmmm. So they got bored of you then?”

“No…I–”

She sighs exasperatedly, running a hand through her hair, before digging through her bag to pull out her laptop. “It’s probably easier if I show you.”

Setting the laptop down on the table, she loads her Myspace page, the same picture she’d seen on Farleigh’s Macbook earlier still set as her profile photo. “Someone keeps changing my profile picture to this. I sent my boyfriend…ex-boyfriend…some photos and now someone has them and keeps doing this every time I change it back.”

Michael’s expression is impassive as he stares at the screen. “Have you changed your passwords?”

“Yes,” she sighs.

“So, you’ve been hacked.”

“Looks that way…I don’t suppose you know anything about computers? Maybe you could help me figure out who’s doing this?”

“Ah,” he clicks his tongue, staring intently at her, “so there it is, pretending to befriend the college nerd because you need computer help. Do you not think it’s a bit of a tired stereotype to assume that because I’m reading maths I’d be able to help you with your IT issues?”

“No, it’s not like that!” She protests, her eyes welling up with tears. She turns away, defeated, deciding this is a lost cause and closes her laptop. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”

He sighs. “Well, there’s no need to cry about it. I can help you, just not right now. Are you free later this evening?”

She sniffles, her eyes going wide as she looks at him in surprise. “Really?”

He nods, closing his notebook and slipping his pen into his breast pocket. “I’ve got a tutorial in twenty minutes, but I can help trace the IP of whoever’s hacked you. I’m on the first floor of the Brasenose, second room left of the staircase. I’ll be back around five.”

Nodding, she immediately feels lighter, the possibility that this may finally come to an end instantly lifting her spirits. A chance to get her life back. “That’s perfect, I’ll see you then. Thank you so much.”

He rises, his gaze remaining fixed upon her. “See you later.”

The way he addresses her, first and last name, sends a shiver down her spine as she watches him turn away and walk slowly out of the library. She wonders what she has gotten herself into, but with no friends and no other options there is little else to be done.

She is filled with restless energy for the rest of the day, unable to sit still or concentrate during the only other lecture she has that afternoon, until eventually she finds herself standing outside of Michael’s room at quarter past five, the hours leading up to that feeling as though they’ve lasted an eternity.

Where there is the faint sound of music or talking coming from the doors she’s passed already on her way here, she is struck by the eerie silence she is met with from his, and wonders for a moment if he’s even home.

Nervous excitement crackles like electricity through her body and her knock is louder than she intends for it to be. She hears shuffling from the other side, until the door swings slowly open. Michael stands poker straight on the threshold, staring down at her.

“Did you bring your laptop?” He asks.

Yet again she is taken aback by how forthright he is, but she nods, stepping in as he moves to the side to let her pass.

Looking around the room, she takes in the plainness of his bedspread, the shelves of mathematics and physics textbooks, the desk set up in the corner that has his laptop open on it. There is nothing that gives even the slightest indication as to who he is as a person.

The sound of him clearing his throat startles her attention back to him, and she turns with an apologetic smile to face him. “Sorry, always weird being in someone else’s room…”

“Right,” he replies, his gaze unwavering as he looks at her. “Laptop?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” embarrassment heats up her skin, as she rummages in her bag, taking it out and handing it to him.

He settles it next to his own on the desk, before taking a seat.

She stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, looking around, not quite knowing what to do with herself. “Um…where should I…?”

“Anywhere,” he says with a dismissive wave of his hand, not looking at her.

She settles on the edge of the bed, running her hands over the soft cotton of the duvet cover. It’s an odd sensation to sit so casually in the space that she knows he sleeps. It feels too familiar, too intimate.

Glancing to the side, she notices the shimmer of gold and purple in the bin. She smiles to herself, having learned something about him in spite of the lack of personal effects in his room. He has a sweet tooth, evidenced by the Crunchie bar wrappers in the bin.

“Password?” He asks, and her head snaps up towards him.

“Hmm?”

He turns in his chair, resting his arm on the back of it, glaring at her over his shoulder. “The password for your laptop, what is it?”

“Oh!” She exclaims. “Is it safe for me to tell you that?”

“It is if you want me to help you,” he sighs.

She squirms uncomfortably. He has the innate ability to make her feel small, foolish, but what’s most disconcerting is that she doesn’t dislike it, there is something about him that draws her to his condescension.

“It’s Shakespeare,” she tells him sheepishly, “with a four in place of the first A.”

“What about the passwords for your email and Myspace accounts?”

“The same.”

“The same?!”

“I’ve changed the passwords each time a new photo has been posted, but it’s just easier to have the same one for everything.”

He groans, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “No wonder you’ve been hacked, typical fucking liberal arts student.”

She lowers her gaze, fingers plucking nervously at the bedspread. “Different passwords for every account, got it.”

“Well, that’s a start, yes,” he tells her, turning back to the screens. “Has anyone but you had access to your computer?”

“No, it stays in my bag when I’m not using it.”

She sits watching him tap away at the keyboards of both laptops alternately for a few moments before she speaks again. “I’m not stupid, you know,” she tells him, her voice sounding meeker than she means for it to. “English Language and Literature is no less of a respectable course than Mathematics. I wrote an essay on the Robert Browning poem, My Last Duchess, recently. It’s a fascinating piece, focusing on the Duke of Ferrara using a painting of his former wife as a conversation topic. The Duke speaks about his former wife's perceived inadequacies to a representative of the family of his bride-to-be, revealing his obsession with controlling others in the process. Browning uses this compelling psychological portrait of a despicable character to critique the objectification of women and abuses of power. It’s a compelling commentary on social status and elitism.”

“What would you know about either of those things?” He asks, continuing to type.

“More than I’d like to,” she says quietly, “I don’t fit in here, not really. I earned my place with a scholarship.”

He pauses, stiffening, glancing over his shoulder at her with a “hmm”.

“I’ve managed to get into the access logs for both your email and Myspace accounts,” he tells her. “There are two sets of IPs that have accessed both accounts in the last week, but both are eduroam IP addresses.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that whoever is uploading those photos is doing so from the university.”

The revelation hits her like a punch to the gut, she feels paralysed, unable to speak as his words sink in. A part of her had wanted to believe it was Jake. To think there is someone at the university who is doing this to her makes her feel nauseated. Her mind races with the possibilities of who it could be. Felix? India? Farleigh? What reason could any of them possibly have to want to do that to her?

“What should I do?” She asks worriedly, staring at Michael with her brows pinched together. “Do you think reporting it would help?”

He swivels his chair fully around to face her and shakes his head. “Not if you intend to keep your scholarship. Rocking the boat over leaked nudes won’t look good to the university board, they’ll take issue with the fact that you even took those photos in the first place.”

“So I just have to let this keep happening?” She feels her throat tighten, wetness rims her eyes.

“Change your passwords,” he says matter of factly. “A different one for every account.”

She nods, expelling a shaky breath, before standing. “I should probably get going. Thank you…for everything.”

Before she goes to bed that night, she changes her passwords - a different one for every account she owns, and deletes the newest uploaded photo, returning her profile picture to its original state.

As far as she is concerned, that should be the end of it. However, her breath hitches, icy cold fingers of fear gripping her heart when she logs on the following morning. Not only has her profile picture been changed to another photo from the set she’d taken for Jake, but the “about me” section now reads “vapid cunt”.

On autopilot, she dresses, taking her laptop and walking the six minutes from Christ Church Halls to Brasenose College.

As soon as Michael’s door opens, she flings her arms around his neck, sobbing into his chest. He stiffens, not returning the gesture, until she finally pulls away.

He straighens, adjusting his glasses. His hair is rumpled from sleep, clad in a t-shirt and plaid pyjama bottoms.

“God, I’m so sorry, I woke you up,” she says tearfully, “I should go. I didn’t think, I just–”

“It’s fine,” he says flatly, ushering her in.

She sits down on the bed. It’s unmade, still warm from where he’s been sleeping in it. The feeling sends a shiver down her spine, despite her emotional distress.

Gingerly he sits next to her, keeping a respectable distance as she removes her laptop from her bag and opens it. “It’s happened again. I did everything you said to do, but it’s happened again, and it’s worse this time. Look–”

Handing him the laptop she shuffles closer to him, her thigh pressed against his. She can feel the warmth of him through her leggings. It causes butterflies to flutter in her belly, it’s been so long since she’s been this close to anyone.

Michael doesn’t stiffen at her touch this time, whether it’s because he doesn’t mind it or is too distracted by what he sees on the screen, she’s unsure, but it’s progress.

“Hmm. And you’re sure you changed your passwords?”

“Yes, all of them. I don’t know what else to do. If I report it, I risk my scholarship, but if this carries on I’ll lose it anyway, because how can I concentrate when this keeps happening?”

He says nothing, closing her laptop and passing it back to her.

“I’ve worked my arse off to get here, to earn my place, this can’t be what ends it,” she says miserably, tucking her computer back into her bag.

“I’d suggest focusing on your studies and less on your peers,” Michael says matter of factly. “You haven’t made the best choice of friends since arriving here.”

“They’re not my friends,” she whispers, her hands fidgeting in her lap. “At least not anymore. Do you think it’s one of them doing this?”

“I wouldn’t put it past them,” he replies bitterly, “stay away from them. I’ve got a lecture this morning, but maybe when I’ve got some downtime, I can do a deeper dive, perhaps see if I can track the logins to a device type.”

“You’d do that for me?” She whispers, looking at him with eyes full of appreciation.

“That’s what mates are for, right?”

“Thank you…just…thank you,” she tells him with sincerity, holding his gaze.

She reaches for his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, desperate to kiss his cheek as a gesture of her gratitude, but remembers the first time she’d done it and cringes inwardly. Though Michael’s hand doesn’t clutch back, he doesn’t move it away and, after a few moments, she realises they’re simply sitting holding hands, looking into each other's eyes.

He is beautiful in his own way. His stare, though intimidating, is piercingly blue, and his lips are soft and plump. She swallows, lashes fluttering in embarrassment when she realises she’s staring at his mouth.

Chancing her luck, she leans in, planting a lingering kiss to the corner of his lips. “I’ll be back at lunchtime, okay?” She whispers, before standing and moving towards the door.

He simply nods, fingers raising to brush over the spot where she’d kissed him. The sight puts a spring in her step for the rest of the morning, almost enough to forget about her being hacked. Almost.

She stops at a vending machine in the rec room on her way back to Brasenose at midday, deciding to buy Michael a Crunchie, an additional thank you for him going out of his way to help her.

As awful as having her privacy violated has been, she is grateful that it has brought her and Michael closer together. She had started the term wanting nothing more than to be his friend, and had royally fucked it up.

Now it seems they have mended their rift, and the prospect of being more than just friends is on the cards. Admittedly, he isn’t her usual type, but there is something about him that excites her. She hopes that once this is all over, this can be a fresh start for her at Oxford; her and Michael, just the caliber of intelligence she had wanted to associate with when she’d first applied.

She knocks at his door, hesitating when he doesn’t open it.

“Michael?” She calls out, brow furrowing in concern when he doesn’t answer.

They’d agreed upon lunchtime to meet, where was he? She tries the door handle and it’s unlocked, gingerly she pushes it open, peering slowly inside. He’s not there, but if he’d left it unlocked then he’d surely be back soon and wouldn’t mind her waiting inside for him.

She steps into the room, finding it much the same as before, only this time the bed is made. Walking over to the window by the desk, she stops to admire the view of the church, startling slightly when her bag knocks the computer chair, disturbing the mouse and taking Michael’s laptop out of sleep.

As she is about to turn back to the window, she notices her Myspace profile is open in edit mode in his browser. She frowns, a feeling of unease washing over her, as she steps towards the desk, her hand trembling as she reaches for the mouse.

She minimises Internet Explorer, gasping when she sees a folder open on his desktop, filled with the photos she had sent to Jake, all of them, even the ones that hadn’t yet been set as her profile picture.

Her heart pounds as she selects all of them, deleting them before clicking on the recycling bin to empty it.

“You didn’t think I’d be stupid enough to not create back ups, did you?”

Turning, she sees that Michael has returned, so quietly she hadn’t noticed. His fingers clutch at the USB stick that’s clipped to his cargo shorts, lips turned up into an expression of smugness.

Tears prickle her eyes, as her heart lurches, the only word that escapes her is “why?” as she looks at him with arched brows, her face pinched into an expression of emotional hurt.

“Why?” He repeats, cocking his head, advancing towards her as she shrinks back into the corner. “Because someone needed to take you down a peg or two.”

“You’ve ruined my life!” She cries, tears slipping down her cheeks, looking at him in disbelief.

This has to be a dream, it is too surreal. Any moment now, she’ll wake up and all of this will have been a terrible dream.

Only it’s not, it’s real, real as the heat of his breath that fans across her face as he looms over her, having backed her fully into the corner between the desk and the window.

“What life? Pretending to play a part with people that don’t really like you? Using your pretentious choice in reading material to make yourself seem intelligent?”

“You don’t know anything about me!” She says defiantly.

“Oh, I know all about you. Hiding your scholarship from those vapid cunts, so they won’t sniff out your working class background and drop you. The variations of John Browning as your password - adding a different number to each variation doesn’t make it a different password, stupid girl.”

“I was nice to you…” She offers feebly, almost pleading with him.

He smirks, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger, gripping harshly, forcing her to look at him. “You felt sorry for me. But it’s not me that needs pity, is it? It’s you. Poor little scholarship slut. You love that My Last Duchess poem so much because you see yourself in it, don’t you? Think you’re being objectified, treated unfairly. Well, let me tell you something, you are like that poem, but in the sense that you’re better in pictures than you are in real life.”

“Stop it,” she whispers, trying to pull away from him.

“Truth hurt, does it?” He asks, his grip on her face remaining tight. “That’s a pity. I enjoyed those pictures, really enjoyed them. It’s a shame the real life version is so whiny and pathetic.”

“I’ll report you,” she says quietly.

“Oh, I don’t think you will, somehow. You love the attention,” he tells her, dropping his hand from her chin to her shoulder, turning her and backing her up towards the bed. “I’ve seen how you look at me. If I wanted to fuck you right now, you’d let me.”

“I–I wouldn’t!” She stammers, feeling her face grow warm.

With a gentle shove from him, she topples back against the mattress, and he is quick to move over her, caging her in. “Liar,” he whispers in her ear.

She shudders at the sensation, despising the way her body betrays her, as heat pools between her legs. She shouldn’t be turned on by this, yet she can’t deny the way he sets her pulse racing.

“I haven’t ruined your life, but I could and you’d let me, wouldn’t you?” He hisses.

The weight of him on top of her, his warm breath fanning against her neck, it’s dizzying. She wants to tell him to get off of her, to push him away, yet she cannot find it in herself to do so. There is a part of her that’s curious to see how far he’ll push this.

When she doesn’t say anything, he carries on, nimble fingers moving to the waistband of her leggings, tugging them down. “I’m going to treat you like the desperate, little slut that you are, and you’re going to let me, aren’t you?”

She whines, lifting her hips as he rids her of the bottom half of her clothing.

“That’s what I thought,” he smirks.

His gaze falls between her legs, tentative fingers reaching out to brush through the wetness that has gathered there. She sees a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes and wonders if he has ever done this before.

She knows his moment of hesitation would be enough for her to push him away, grab her clothes and report him, yet she feels compelled to stay. If this is his first time, then she wants it to be her. She enjoys the dynamic of the power he has over her, while simultaneously being able to take something from him.

Wanting to bolster his confidence, urge him to continue, she sits up, eager hands unfastening his belt and unzipping his shorts. It flips a switch inside him, and he’s surging forward once more, pinning her beneath him as he pushes his boxers down just enough to free his cock.

“Tell me you want this,” he rasps against the shell of her ear.

“I want this,” she mewls desperately, feeling the head of him resting at her entrance.

“You’re going to keep letting me do this to you, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll wear that tarty underwear from your photos for me, won’t you?”

“...yes.”

He presses forward and is met with resistance, not having fully prepared her. He draws back and pushes against her again, repeating the motion until he’s fully sheathed inside of her. It’s exquisite torture, a pleasurable hurt to be split apart by him, to feel so full.

Breathing heavily through his nose, he stills and she can feel his inexperience in the way that he tenses, but isn’t prepared to give up when they’ve already come this far. She rolls her hips against his, a breathy sigh escaping her as she feels her sweet spot rub up against the head of him.

He screws his eyes shut, jaw going slack, before beginning to move his own hips, pulling back to slam forward once more, quickly finding a rhythm that suits him. This isn’t careful, considered lovemaking, they rut against each other like animals, both of them allowing instinct to guide them as they seek out the movements that feel most pleasurable.

She clings tightly to him, meeting him thrust for thrust, their breaths coming in hot, shallow pants.

“Fucking knew this was all you needed,” he mutters, “someone to teach you a lesson, see you for what you really are.”

“Please,” she whimpers, her hands sliding down to his backside to push him in deeper, causing him to groan.

“F–fuck,” he stutters, picking up his pace when he feels her start to tighten around him. “Tell me you’re mine, you don’t need anyone else, just me.”

“‘M yours,” she gasps, pushing her hips against his, zeroing in on the precipice she is about to fall from.

A particularly harsh thrust is the final shove she needs, and white hot waves of euphoria wrack her body, as she cries out in ecstasy. Suddenly, Michael is withdrawing, leaving her to clench around nothing as he paints her inner thigh with sticky warmth.

He collapses beside her, and she stares into the lightly fogged lenses of his glasses, their noses bumping together.

“Are you still going to ruin my life?” She asks, hazy with pleasure.

For the first time, their lips meet, a messy clash of tongue and teeth, that’s sloppy and wet, their breaths still heavy and movements uncontrolled.

“You’re going to let me,” he whispers when they finally break for air, “because you’re mine.” Resistance is futile, she will let him. She wants this, needs this. After all, Michael Gavey is the type of person she came to Oxford to associate with in the first place, and she’s gotten exactly what she asked for.

#michael gavey x reader #michael gavey smut #michael gavey imagine #michael gavey x you #michael gavey x y/n #ewan mitchell #michael gavey saltburn #satlburn michael gavey #saltburn #michael gavey fan fiction #michael gavey fanfiction #michael gavey fan fic #michael gavey fanfic #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn fanfic #satlburn fan fiction #satlburn fan fic

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heedeungism · 6 days

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synopsis: riki knows you better than anyone else. includes: bridgerton au (barely), a little women reference, confessions of love, pre-marital kissing (the scandal!), gross old men, arranged marriage notes: @hoes4hoseok i hope you enjoy my timothee chalamification of riki, this one's for you girl🩷

there’s a thin line between love and friendship. your mother says she was friends with your father before she ever learned to love him, never in the way the poets rave, but in a way that made her life easier. in her words, “a love match is as rare as a diamond, dear. you shouldn’t hold out hope of one should it ruin your debut.”

it’s a shame, you think, that you can love someone so deeply and yet there’s no guarantee they’ll share the sentiment, nor a chance to see if what you feel is dwindling infatuation or true unyielding devotion. it’s improper to explore your options, greedy to want more than expected, and childish to yearn for love. yet you do.

your debut season approaches fast, and with it, the heavy promise of your hand to baron mortimer weighs your heart down like an anchor keeping you from daydreaming of the things you had read and researched about love. he’s wealthy, titled, and twice your age. he would give your family a more comfortable life, save you from the shame of becoming a spinster if you do not find another suitable match your first season, and seems to be respectable enough despite his intent to marry you, a soon-to-be debutante he set his eyes upon years ago. it’s unnerving, but your mother speaks of him without disdain, so you keep your anxieties about his character at bay.

unfortunately, your dearest friend plagues your mind just so. riki’s return from oxford approaches with the same swiftness as your debut. you dread the idea of no longer having the liberty to write to him or paint him when he’s a willing muse, as it would be improper to do so while promised to another. for that reason you have yet to write to him since your last letter a week ago, where in it you bid him the gentlest farewell you could to help ease the ache in your heart.

you aren’t sure if he even received it, as he has not written back, but you suppose it’s for the best.

at least you believe that until he’s before you with unkempt hair and a haunted look in his tormented gaze.

“tell me it is not true.” he says, chest rising and falling as if he had run from oxford to mayfair on foot, though perhaps he had been traveling by carriage since he received the letter clutched between his fingers. “tell me you are not marrying that man.”

you are unsure of how to respond, your lips parting hut no words leaving them. you turn toward your ladies maid, who blinks wildly as she receives the message, placing your hairpin down and hastening out of the room past the viscount’s son. the door clicks and yet his gaze remains unyielding, you finally speak, “you are back early, mr nishimura.”

riki had always been exceedingly easy to read, only to you, he used to pout. this moment is no different, and you can see how hard it is for him to wrap his head around his title leaving your lips instead of his name, but he recovers enough to repeat himself, “tell me.”

you place a hand on your stomach, squeezed by a corset that you suspect is why you can’t seem to catch your breath, “i will not lie to you.”

his brows furrow, his teeth peeking from his plump lips as they part in disgust and frustration, “he is old.”

“yes, i am aware of lord mortimer’s age.” you say with a similar frustration on your tongue that is heavily withheld by your propriety, “my mother saw it pertinent i educate myself before our marriage.”

“you cannot marry him.” riki says, and the frustration in your blood blooms into something more, something worse.

“that is not your decision to make.” you state, mindlessly flattening invisible wrinkles in your dress as he takes a step closer, only for you to fortify the distance with one of your own in the same direction, “not any more than it is mine.”

“you…” he loses his words as his hand clenches and releases at his side like he longs to reach for you, “you do not want this.”

“what i want does not matter to my parents anymore than it should to you,” you state, attempting to tuck the loose strand of hair that your ladies maid hadn’t the time to fit into your updo behind your ear, only for it to fall right back into place against your cheekbone, “lord mortimer is wealthy, he will give me a comfortable life.”

“do you not deserve a happy one?” riki asks, and you feel the cracks in your chest widen. instinctively, you fight the tremble of your chin and the tug in your brow as tears attempt to fit through the open crevice of your act.

“no, don’t—“ you shake your eyes, turning away from him as your arms drop to your sides, “don’t do that. i have accepted my future, i do not need you planting doubts in my mind.”

“what use would planting them do when i can see they’ve already taken root far before i arrived here?” you overlook the step he takes, nor how large his stride is. he only takes one yet it makes all the difference, as he feels infinitely closer than before. just as you feared he would.

“stop it.” you say, masked inside a heavy exhale, yet a plea all the same. “you should be visiting with your sisters, i’m sure they missed you dearly—“

“don’t marry him.” he says, and you finally look at him.

“what?” you ask despite knowing exactly what he said, you want to hear him say it again to make sure it wasn’t in your head.

he shakes his head, taking another step closer, “don’t marry him.”

“you…” he doesn't have to explain what he means, your childish hopes of love that you’d hidden so deep in your conscience do so for him. your heart sings as his eyes flick between your own and then down the bridge of your nose and lower, but your mind refuses to bend as your heart does. you shake your head, shuffling back to salvage whatever distance you can, “no.”

“yes.” he responds in kind, dropping the letter and closing the distance between the two of you to grab your hands. his next words are paired with the act of him flattening your palm against his chest, keeping it there while he grasps the other in his much larger hand, “you can’t marry him.”

“you are being cruel.” you try to pull away, but his grip is firm and you know that if you meet his gaze you won’t be able to fight it anymore.

there’s a sickening silence as his thumb draws shapes on the back of your hand, you can feel his heartbeat. it’s strong, and its pace only feeds your own heart wanton promises of devotion you had only ever been told were too rare to expect in your lifetime, “tell me you do not want me.”

the suddenness of his demand lowers your guard for just long enough for your heart to find the upper ground and force your eyes into his sights, he repeats himself, “tell me you do not want me and i will leave you to marry lord mortimer.” his words are punctuated by the hand not holding yours to his heart grasping the side of your jaw, his thumb moving against your warmed cheek, “tell me and i will never speak to you again, just as you requested in your letter. you will never have to see me and i won’t—“

“i don’t want that.” the words leave your lips without warning, but it’s too late to take them back by the time they reach his ears. you shake your head, “i don’t—i don’t want to marry, i want to paint and read and—“

he listens as your supposed acceptance crumbles beneath his gaze, chest heaving under your palm. “—i want to do all of those things with you, i do. the baron has my parents under his wretched thumb and i cannot bear it, i cannot—“ a sharp inhale rakes your body, a mix of a sob and a desperate but fruitless attempt to regain composure, “i don’t want you to go away, i want you to stay here with me and—“

his lips meet yours with a firmness that sets your heart aflame, and when he pulls away just enough to look at you your heart finally lands the finishing blow in its fight against your mind. your hand lingers on his chest as the one he uses to keep it there moves to mirror its counterpart on the other side of your jaw.

you barely glance down at his lips before they’re on yours again, a welcome experience that you hope you can experience over and over until you’re utterly familiar, but now you're not sure how to reciprocate. the novels you’ve read did little to educate you on the experience, much less prepare you for it to occur with the boy you’d found yourself longing for through the years.

the gasp you let out when his hand moves from your jaw to your waist to tug you closer is silenced by his lips attaching themselves to yours like he’d spent a lifetime wishing to taste you.

he pulls away, yet he doesn't seem keen on keeping the distance, his nose brushing yours as he promises, “i will speak to your parents—”

the mention of them has your guts turning painfully enough to rip you away from him, nausea hitting you like a bullet through your throat, “i should not have done that.”

“i kissed you—“ his statement does little to quell your sickness, and the wavering grate in your voice as you interrupt him is telling of that. “that changes nothing.” your fingers move to your hair, the pin keeping it in place falling to the floor as you tug, “i am ruined. forget marrying the baron, i cannot marry anyone.”

“was i not clear?” he asks, and when you look at him with frustrated reluctance he continues, “should i gut myself? place my heart in your hands to have you understand how you haunt me?”

“we cannot marry.” you say, bottom lip trembling, “i will not be a consequence of your actions. it is not your duty to marry me when i am the only one ruined.”

riki’s jaw shifts as if your words brought him only fury, “i do not care for duty, i care for you.”

“you are young, riki. you are not expected to marry for at least—“

“i want to.” he states firmly, “you said you wanted me to stay, so i am staying. i will dance with you at balls. i will send flowers and call on you every morning. i will promenade alongside you for as long as it takes. i…”

he moves towards you, thumbs brushing away the tears under your eyes as his forehead meets yours, “i am yours, do with me what you will.”

©heedeungism : do not rewrite, copy, repost, or translate any of my works without my permission.

#enhypen #nishimura riki #nishimura riki x reader #niki x reader #ni-ki #niki x y/n #bridgerton au #historical au #friends to implied lovers #ni-ki enhypen #niki drabbles #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #niki bridgerton au #romance #bridgerton #riki 🩷

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carbombrenee · 11 months

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Cassel Mennonite Cemetery April 2023

#cemetery #headstones #graveyard #taphophilia #ontario #backroads #explore ontario #old churches #rural #mennonite #southwest oxford #road trip

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queenshelby · 8 months

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Daddy Issues (Part One)

Pairing: Dominant!Cillian Murphy & Shy!Reader (& Jamie Dornan)

Warning: Smut, BDSM, Daddy Kink, 4-Somes, 3-Somes, Sugar Baby Arrangements

Summary: Through your best friend, you meet actor Cillian Murphy and come to some kind of arrangement involving intimacy in exchange for being spoiled financially.

Written with: my beautiful wife @darkshelbyfiction

Ever since school, Emma had been your best friend and now that you were both in your early twenties, and studied law at the prestigious Oxford university, nothing really changed.

Your friendship had grown even stronger despite differences in personalities – you being introverted and reserved, she boldly exploring her newfound independence.

Emma was always full of surprises - from her unexpected move to New York City without telling anyone and then coming back six months later, to now referring to herself as Jamie Dornan's sugar baby when you were on your own while, otherwise, keeping it discreet.

When alone with you, she would often talk about having "intimate encounters" with him and sometimes even others, keeping you amused while leaving you curious about what exactly happens behind closed doors. You were often thinking about 50 Shades of Gray, spiking your curiosity, although Emma assured you that it was nothing like that.

When talking to Emma and her sugar baby experience, it felt like one day she decided to break all boundaries – whether social or moral – as if embracing freedom beyond comprehension. Despite her brazen behavior, deep down inside, she still cared deeply about your opinion which made things interesting when discussing such topics together over coffee late into the night, sitting among the humming crowd of the cozy London Cafe.

The coffee shop filled up quickly around lunchtime, making it harder for Emma to continue sharing stories confidentially.

You eventually moved outside underneath the shade of a large tree, sipping their drinks while enjoying the cool evening air. Again, your conversation turned towards the subject of sex which was something your life was lacking.

To you only, Emma often opened up about her time spent with Jamie, the man who had become what she calls her "sugar daddy".

Their relationship was nothing serious and it was that, just after his messy and rather public divorce, he sought solace in younger women whom he could provide financial stability for. In return, they agreed upon fulfilling his needs discreetly and you knew that Emma was not the only one.

As she shared more explicit details of their sessions, which she only did with you, the way she spoke became increasingly sensuous. She had fun, it seemed, and it was just last week that she had engaged in her first ever threesome with Jamie and another man.

"A threesome, with two men?" you asked incredulously, gripped with curiosity as she mentioned it for the first time that day. You only ever had sex with one man, and it was nothing short of boring to say the least.

"Yes. Jamie had a friend over, and it just happened. It wasn't really planned. But we had lots of fun and probably too much to drink as well" she giggled seductively, leaning forward slightly as if divulging a juicy secret. The sunlight reflected off her soft skin causing her silhouette to waver rhythmically against the foliage behind her.

"Uhm, okay..." you began. "So who was the guy? Was he an actor too?" You queried, genuinely intrigued.

"Yes, he is an actor too, but I really shouldn't talk about this." Her tone implied reluctance to share further details.

Curiosity peaked, you probed, "But come on, tell me! Who is he? You know I won't tell!"

She hesitated before speaking again, seemingly caught between excitement and fear. "His name is Cillian," she finally revealed, and your chin dropped.

"It's not Cillian Murphy though, is it?" you clarified, thinking of the renowned Irish actor who portrayed one of your favourite TV characters, namely Thomas Shelby.

"Jepp," she replied simply, confirming your suspicion.

"Oh my god...Cillian Murphy? Is he actually single enough to do that kind of thing? Like wow..." you couldn't help feeling shocked. Even considering you hadn't met him personally, there was undeniable respect and admiration attached to Cillian's image as he tried to stay out of the tabloids as much as possible.

"Well yeah, apparently he filed for divorce two weeks ago. Weird timing, right?" Emma said, looking almost surprised herself before you took up the courage to probe her with more questions.

"So, you actually had full on sex with them both? At the same time? In the same room?"

Your head swam with visions of those three intertwined bodies, imagining the erotic chaos taking place beneath the sheets. "Wasn't it weird?" you then asked. You had so many questions.

"Yes, we had sex at the same time and it was crazy," Emma admitted, smiling mischievously. "And no, it didn't feel weird at all. It was exciting, surprisingly so."

Her frankness startled you somewhat, used to living within societal norms, yet also fascinated by how freely Emma discussed these experiences. Perhaps it was because of your conservative background that she never judged your naïveté regarding intimacy.

"I mean, Cillian Murphy is pretty fucking hot, so I do not blame you," you said, catching yourself off guard with your sudden audacity.

Emma laughed lightheartedly. "You want details don't you?" Emma teased, already aware of your insatiable curiosity. Your cheeks flushed crimson in embarrassment, partly due to her keen observation, partly due to the explicit nature of our conversation.

"Yes, of course," you stammered nervously, clearing your throat. You could barely look at Emma straight in the eye anymore, instead fixating on the ground, afraid that your face might betray you completely.

"What do you want to know about?" Emma continued, unperturbed.

"Everything. All the dirty details," you confessed honestly, unable to suppress your voyeurism any longer. "I mean, did they both, you know, at the same time, you know..." you stammered, wondering whether they simply took turns or penetrated her at the same time.

"Put their dicks in me?" Emma laughed, seeing how shy and embarrassed you were, causing you to nod.

She proceeded, "Yes, eventually. They took turns first but then both of them wanted to be with me at once. At first, I thought it was a bit awkward, but after getting comfortable, it became thrilling and liberating."

You chin dropped, speechless. How could someone like Cillian Murphy be entangled in such debauchery?

"You look really shocked right now," observed Emma, watching your expression carefully. "Is it because I told you or because of who it was with?"

Though you were tempted to ask about Jamie, your mind remained fixated on Cillian. As far as you were concerned, he was practically handsome. To think he was capable of participating in these types of wild escapades was surreal.

"A bit of both," you responded, half questioning and half affirming, hoping she wouldn't sense your growing interest.

"You know, he is single and I could get Jamie to introduce you sometime, maybe. If you want to meet him," she added nonchalantly, as if suggesting dinner plans.

This left you stunned momentarily. You considered the possibility, envisioning yourself engaging in similar carnal acts.

"I don't think so, no... I mean, I am not like you," you protested timidly, attempting to regain composure.

"I think you are thinking too much about moral standards which are absurd concepts, developed by society to control people and maintain certain order," Emma chuckled, referring to your prudish nature.

"Cillian is single and he was clearly intrigued by what Jamie and I have going, because it is simple. There is no hassle. No feelings. Only pure physical satisfaction. That's the arrangement between us. No strings attached. And he takes care of me financially which is really helpful seeing that I am, just like you, a student with a huge student debt," Emma went on matter-of-factly.

"That sounds nice," you commented, trying to understand why Emma would agree to being part of such arrangements without seeking a deeper connection. "But, don't you find it degrading sometimes?"

Emma gave you a sidelong glance, understanding perfectly well where your concerns stemmed from. "No, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with having sex for personal gain, especially when consent is given mutually. Despite, I actually really enjoy the sex. It's different than anything else, more intense and raw - and I feel closer to myself afterwards. There's just something powerful about it, you know? Sometimes I wonder how long this will go on, but then I remember that as long as everyone gets what they need, nobody gets hurt. This keeps everything simple and fair game, which suits me fine.”

You listened quietly, struggling to process all the information. It was difficult to imagine Emma – sweet, innocent Emma – as someone who enjoyed these kinds of arrangements. Yet somehow, hearing her describe it made it sound logical, even reasonable.

After all, money was tight for students. If consensual adults found pleasure in such arrangements, why should anyone judge them? You understood why Jamie paid for expenses in return for sexual favors – he wanted to compensate Emma for services rendered, plain and simple. Still, you marveled at how easily she glossed over potential consequences associated with such liaisons.

She always had nice, expensive things nowadays, clothes and shoes alike and she spent most nights with him, having fun and enjoying her life.

Their lifestyle seemed enviably easy and carefree compared to yours, stuck with heavy books and a mountain of debts piled high. Maybe it was worth exploring, you mused fleetingly. Still, you knew deep down inside that this wasn't the path you wanted to take. The idea felt morally corrupt, and it terrified you.

Back in reality, however, the fact still remained that you lacked the confidence needed to approach someone like Cillian Murphy let alone sleep with him. You were too scared of rejection and failure.

It was hard to believe that someone like Cillian Murphy could ever give you the attention you desired. Besides, it wasn’t as if you would suddenly become desirable just because you slept with him. Deep down, you worried that you weren't good enough. Your insecurities consumed you. However, the more you talked to Emma, the more curious you grew. How would it feel to be with such a person? What would happen during the act itself? Would they dominate you entirely? Or perhaps be gentle? So many questions filled your mind as you tried to grasp onto reality.

"Maybe dinner would be alright. I mean, nothing bad can come from meeting new people, right?" You countered cautiously, your heart racing slightly. Meeting someone like Cillian Murphy was indeed exciting, yet nerve-wracking simultaneously.

"Right. I will organise it then!" Emma said excitedly and, to you, agreeing to meet Cillian Murphy felt monumental, almost surreal.

You couldn't help feeling excited, hopeful that he would notice you among others and throughout the night, you couldn't stop reflecting upon the encounter with Emma. Her stories sparked countless fantasies that tormented your imagination, leaving you eager to experience pleasures beyond conventional boundaries. Even though it meant facing risks and challenges outside your comfort zone, the prospect of indulging in passionate encounters captivated you.

After all, hadn't dreaming been harmless until it turned into reality? Confronting your fears allowed you to grow stronger. As you sipped on another cup of coffee, lost in thought, Emma noticed your contemplation.

"So, are you really really sure?" Emma asked, seeing how nervous you were already.

"Yes. It's just dinner, right?" you said and Emma chuckled and agreed.

"Yes, but these things can lead to more. There is no pressure though," Emma reassured you as a mischievous grin spread across her lips.

"Exactly," you nodded vigorously, although doubts crept into your head when you looked up his soon to be ex-wife and the women he had dated before, all of whom were extremely attractive.

How could anyone possibly compete against those women? Why would he bother with somebody like me? These negative thoughts flooded your brain but nevertheless, you decided to push through these anxieties. After all, life was full of surprises and opportunities. Who knows, you may end up liking each other!

"Alright, we're doing this, then. Let's see where it leads," you confirmed firmly, looking determined despite your lingering insecurities.

Emma grinned broadly, pleased with your decision as she picked up the phone and called Jamie.

To be continued....

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #tommy shelby #jamie dornan #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy fanfic

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lovesickonmybed · 2 months

Text

teaching you a lesson in the worst kind of way | 18+

masterlist | info about palestine | donate to gaza

pairing | boss!ellie x reader

synopsis | you show up late for work once again and ellie decides another lecture just won’t do.

warnings | 18+ MDNI!! wedgies, degradation, humiliation, panty sniffing, cunt busting, borderline footjob kind of??, a little bit of pantyhose fetish, dom!ellie, sub!reader, unbalanced power dynamics, lots and lots of dirty talk, oral sex reader!receiving.

word count | 3354

a/n | i used this fic as an excuse to explore a new kink i’ve been into. it might be a little much for some people so if anything in the warnings sounds unappealing please keep scrolling. this was also partially inspired by an audio i found on soundgasm, which you can listen to here. i urge you to not buy any of the last of us games, including the remaster as the creator, neil druckmann is a zionist. the second game is based off of the israeli occupation in palestine and you can learn more about that here.

You didn’t mean to make a habit out of being late but your shitbox car has made a habit out of deciding not to start on your busiest work days. You try to start it up again but once again it sputters pathetically and shows no signs of starting, you scream and grasp the steering wheel in frustration. “God fucking dammit! Ellie is gonna kill me…” You groan, swinging the door open and walk to your apartment lobby to call an Uber. You’re lucky enough to get one in under 5 minutes and spend the whole ride praying there won’t be much traffic, but unfortunately for you the universe is cruel and there’s an insane amount of traffic that makes you even more late than you already would be. You make a quick call to Ellie’s secretary to let her know you’ll be late and brace yourself for how much shit you’ll be in once you arrive.

The last time you were late you got a 30 minute lecture from Ellie, a write up, and fingernail indents in your thighs thanks to your anxious habits. Ellie wasn’t a mean or a bad boss, but once you pissed her off she made it clear that you’d have to go the extra mile to get back in her good graces. Bringing Ellie her Dutch Bros order a few times a week definitely helped you out, but after your car giving out for the 3rd time in 6th months, you’re not sure if electric berry lemonades could save your ass this time.

Your Uber pulls up outside your office building and you thank your driver for the ride and head inside quickly, looking down for a second to leave 5 stars and a good tip. You make your way to Ellie’s office as quickly as you can and thank the universe that she’s speaking with her secretary when you arrive.

Ellie is looking down at her secretary's computer screen, running her finger underneath the sentence she’s reading, mumbling the words aloud to herself. Ellie’s secretary nudges her to alert her to your presence. She looks up and narrows her eyes, leaning down to whisper something to her secretary. She nods her head in the direction of her office and you follow her inside, playing with the hair tie on your wrist to calm your nerves. Ellie holds the door open for you and you take a moment to admire her outfit, a pinstripe suit with the buttons on her blazer undone to show off her silky black button down that’s tucked into the pants. This is one of the rare days where she’s chosen to wear heels instead of her usual oxfords. You sit down in the comfy chair in front of her desk as she sits in her chair behind her desk.

“Late again, I really thought our last talk would’ve gotten through to you,” Ellie says, shaking her head with disappointment. You sigh, looking down at your lap with embarrassment. You take a second to try and choose the best way to respond, you’ve already pissed her off enough by being almost 30 minutes late, you really can’t afford to push your luck any further.

“I’m so sorry, I know I’ve been late already a few times this quarter. I’ve been having a lot of car trouble, I’ve been waiting on my tax return to get it fixed, I can’t really afford it at the moment…” You explain, feeling yourself get hot with embarrassment as you start to pick at your pantyhose cover thighs.

“We can discuss your car later, we’ll help you figure something out. But for now, I want to address your outfit. That skirt you’re wearing is too short, I’m gonna give you a warning for now but if you wear it again you’re getting another write up.”

“You’re joking right? My high school had a stricter dress code than we do and I wore this all the time. There’s no way it’s too short!” You’re pissed off now, it feels like Ellie is just trying to find something to punish you for at this point.

“Well this isn’t a high school and I don’t care if you wore it then, it’s inappropriate and I need you to not wear it again. You’re lucky I’m not sending you home to change,” Ellie says, narrowing her eyes.

“I wish it was high school, at least they’d give me something else to wear!” Your frustration from how the morning has gone so far is getting to you and you snap a little bit.

“You know what? Get up,” Ellie commands, getting up out of her chair and standing over you.

“What?” You’re incredibly confused by what Ellie has planned for you for your little outburst, if you’re getting written up for insubordination you don’t know why you have to stand.

“I said get. Up.” Oh, she’s not fucking with you.

You slowly rise to your feet in confusion, furrowing your brows and looking around the room. Ellie gets out from behind her desk and steps towards you, grabbing you by your shoulders and spinning you around so that you’re facing away from her. “You know, if this was high school, I don’t think you’d like me very much. I’m sure you were a little loser, a little nerd maybe, back then. Probably got picked on and teased by girls like me, hm? Girls like me would punish girls like you for talking back with a good old fashioned wedgie.” Ellie grabs the waist of your skirt, pulling it back and reaching a hand inside your skirt. She slowly grabs the waistbands of your pantyhose and panties and yanks them up quickly, sending you stumbling forward onto your toes in an attempt to escape the searing pain she’s sent up your ass. She laughs as you reach back to try and tug them out of your hands, it just motivates her to pull harder. “Stop taking it like a little bitch, we both know you had your panties yanked every day of your miserable high school life.”

You cry out in pain as she bends you over her desk and pulls even harder. You grasp at the wood as you feel your feet lift off the ground as she pulls, it sends the fabric of your panties between your folds and you bite your lip to hold back a whimper. Oddly enough the sensation between your folds gets you wet and whiny. “Do you wish it was high school now? I could always throw in a swirly if this isn’t enough for you!”

“Let me go! This isn’t okay!” You yell, trying to force yourself up. Ellie slams you back down onto her desk with no problem and pulls even harder, your pantyhose ripping in the process. You haven’t felt this humiliated in years. Ellie pulls your skirt up for a better view of your wedgied ass.

“God these are practically disappearing inside you…” She mumbles to herself, fighting the urge to spread your cheeks for a better look at just how deep your wedgie really is. You manage to kick Ellie off of you and you feel the air get knocked out of your lungs as you hit the desk and tumble to the ground. You back yourself up against the desk and catch your breath, Ellie lets you, watching you and smiling as she plans her next move. “Don’t move an inch,” she commands.

You look up at her with fearful eyes. Your black skirt is bunched up around your waist, your ripped pantyhose and pretty white panties are stuffed deep between your folds. Ellie admires the view she has of your legs spread open, she smiles and nudges your inner thigh with her foot, pointing it towards your cunt. “Do I work you so hard you don’t have time to shave? Shame that such a pretty pussy is all covered up with that hair. I wonder how that pussy wedgie would feel if you had shaved, do you think it would hurt worse?”

You gulp and nod, not sure if she really wants you to answer her. “Y-Yeah, it probably would…” You answer meekly. Your eyes follow Ellies foot as she trails it up your inner thigh. She tests the waters, pressing the sole of her shoe against your cunt. She looks down at you and carefully analyzes your expressions.

“When you go home tonight I want you to shave, I want you to really feel it when you get that pretty little cunt flossed. Got it?” Ellie’s tone is demanding, she’s not asking you to, she’s telling you to. “You wanna be a good little employee right? Wanna follow my orders? Then do it.” Who are you to disobey her?

“Yes ma’am.” Ellie smiles down at you as you agree to follow her orders. You feel her shoe press harder against your cunt and against all better judgment you lift your hips and press yourself into the sole of her shoe, wincing at the slight pain and eyes rolling back at the pleasurable feeling.

Ellies lets out a breathy laugh, “You like this? What are you, a little pain slut? God, who would’ve guessed my little glorified coffee runner gets off on getting her cunt wrecked.” Ellie draws her foot back like she’s about to kick you, leaning forward on one foot, placing her hand on her desk to stabilize herself. She looks down at you and tilts her head to the side, “Are you wet? Your panties are plugging you up, it’s hard to tell. Maybe I need to kick ‘em loose so I can see for myself, hm?” Ellie draws her leg back further, getting herself ready. She smirks down at you before delivering a light kick to your stuffed cunt. You gasp loudly, falling forward, throwing your arm forward to stop yourself from falling on your face. Your eyes well up with tears and you let out a guttural moan, this is a pain you’ve never felt before. It has you clawing at the carpet and leaking hot tears. But, your eyes aren’t the only thing leaking. Somehow, someway, the pain from the kick has quickly melted into pleasure. You can feel your clit twitch as you lay propped up on the floor, squeaking softly, your hips jumping up off the floor.

Ellie looks at you with a shit eating grin, reveling in your pathetic display. “Lay back against the desk and let me see if they got any looser,” she commands. She knows it’s impossible for her to kick them loose, she just wants a good view of your pathetic puffy cunt. You prop yourself back up against the desk and spread your legs for her, she gets down on her knees and crawls forward to you. She lays herself down on the floor and grabs your thighs, spreading them further apart. She shoves her face between your thighs, carefully inspecting your cunt. You can feel her breath on your thighs and against your clothed cunt, it makes you whine like a little bitch.

“Pretty pussy getting plugged up just like it should…” She mumbles, running her finger along your stuffed slit. You throw your head back against the wood and whine, your hips bucking slightly at the feeling. Ellie smirks, knowing she’s got you right where she wants you. “Poor baby, probably haven’t been touched in so long…bet whatever pathetic toy you’ve got in your bedside drawer gets a lot of use, hm?” She grabs the fabric of your panties, slowly pulling it out of you as you whine in pain. You didn’t think it would be possible for it to hurt worse taking your wedgie out than it did actually getting wedgied but somehow it does.

Ellie leans forward and nudges her nose against your clothed clit causing you to yelp and dig your nails into the soft meat of your thigh. “So sensitive, I’m shocked you didn’t cum from just your wedgie alone…” She stands up and motions for you to do the same, you feel a bit weak as you do, using the desk to support yourself as you stand. You lean back against the desk, your skirt still bunched up over your waist, the stiff fabric staying in place. Ellie admires the view she has of your soaked and stretched out panties, the way she looks at you makes you melt. You know you shouldn’t be so wet after what she just did but something deep down in you wants her to do it again.

“Can I…can I taste you? I know you probably taste so fucking good…please let me make you feel good,” Ellie pleads, walking closer to you before dropping to her knees in front of you. She removes her blazer quickly, tossing the pinstriped fabric behind her. You hop up on the desk, spreading your legs, as you watch her push the sleeves up on her button down shirt. “Tell me I can taste you honey, need to hear you say it…”

You look down at her, biting your lip softly. You enjoy watching her plead like that, for once you’re in control. “You can taste me, baby. Gotta make me cum, gotta make it up to my poor little cunt after what you did to her. Make it good.”

Ellie smirks up at you, looking as smug as ever with a shit eating grin. She hooks her arms under your thighs and pulls you closer to her, “I’ll make it the best you’ve ever had.” She grabs hold on your waistband and begins to pull down your underwear, stuffing them into the pocket of her pants as she removes the fabric from your body. She leans forward and you lift your legs over her arms, resting them on her shoulders. Her face is barely an inch from your cunt and you throw your head back to look at the ceiling to try and get yourself to relax. You bite your lip to hold back a whine as you feel Ellie breathing against your naked cunt, you can practically feel the smirk radiating off of her, she knows the effect she has on you and she’s proud of it. You gasp as you feel her begin to kiss your inner thighs, she moves closer and closer to your cunt before she takes your redden clit into her mouth and sucks. Your hand shoots down to her head and you grip her hair at the root as your eyes widen, you haven’t had anyone eat you out for a very long time.

She smiles and slowly pulls away from your cunt, your legs still resting over her shoulders. “You react like a fucking virgin, y’know that? I’m shocked you didn’t cum just from that,” she chuckles cockily. You roll your eyes at her and tug at her auburn locks, causing her to wince in pain. “You little bitch, I can bust that cunt of yours again y’know?” You let go of her hair and lean back on your palms. Ellie leans forward and continues, licking a stripe up your slit and using her tongue to play with your clit. This time you don’t allow yourself to hold back, you moan in pleasure. Ellie smiles and continues on, repeating the motion as you squirm beneath her, licking at your clit every now and then.

“Ellie how the fuck did you get so good at this?” You whine, your eyebrows furrowing as you start to softly grind against her face, using her hair as an anchor. You ease up on her hair so she can pull away to answer, “I was really popular in college,” she jokes, before immediately diving right back in.

Your hips buck up in pleasure as she goes back to sucking your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You grip her hair even tighter and grind your cunt against her face, borderline riding it at this point. She lets you use her as she uses her tongue to massage your clit while she sucks on it. She widens her mouth to suck your cunt as well and that’s all it takes to send you over the edge. Your hips leave the table and you pull her hair with all your might as you spasm underneath her, moaning out her name, your legs tightening around her head involuntarily as you practically fold in on yourself. She lets you come down from your high, drinking you up enthusiastically, letting you make a mess all over her face. When you manage to come down you let your legs fall open and Ellie finally is able to get some air. You lay back and admire her flushed face, the lower half of it is covered in your slick and it’s a sight you’d pay to see again.

You let your legs dangle off the desk, feeling like they’re made of jelly as both you and Ellie recover. Your cheeks heat up as you watch Ellie wipe the slick from her face with your underwear, giving them a sniff before she tucks them back in her pocket. She gets up from the ground and walks around her desk, sitting down in her chair and cradling your head. “You’re so fuckin pretty, you were so good for me,” she says, smiling down at you, stroking your cheek lovingly.

“Where did you learn to eat pussy like that, I’m so serious?” You ask, giggling to yourself when her cheeks turn red and she looks up at the ceiling.

“I told you! I was very popular in college!” She laughs and brushes some of your hair out of your face. You can see a bit of slick still on her chin and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it.

“How am I supposed to work after that? My legs feel like jelly, my cunt is pretty sore, and you stole my panties and destroyed them.”

Ellie chuckles, “I guess I could give you the day off…or maybe just assign you to work with me all day while I help you figure out what to do about your car situation.”

You groan, you had completely forgotten about your car, “Shit. I doubt there’s anything I can do, I swear she’s done for this time!” You had a lot of memories in your car, a lot of them involved screaming to I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy before going into work.

“I’ll help you figure it out, pretty girl. It’s the least I could do after dress coding you over some bullshit and wrecking your cunt,” Ellie says.

“Oh so you admit the dress coding was bullshit!” You exclaim, sitting up and hopping off the desk, pulling your skirt back down and smoothing it out. You sit down in the chair you had sat in earlier when she had called you in and look at Ellie with your arms crossed in annoyance.

Ellie rolls her eyes and huffs, “Of course it was bullshit, but hey I needed a reason to keep you in here longer. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you, it’s been so hard to try and be professional with you around.” You take a minute to wrap your head around what Ellie just said.

“You what?” You’re shocked she’d admit to it.

“I’m not sure why, but after we had that work event at the arcade with the karaoke room I’ve been thinking about you. Maybe it was seeing you in casual clothes or seeing you sing your heart out to Sugar, We’re Goin Down but something about you that night just awakened something in me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, it was driving me crazy,” Ellie confesses. You sit across from her and your jaw is practically on the floor.

“So you really like me? You didn’t just want to fuck me, right?” You ask once you’ve regained the ability to speak.

“Yeah, I really fucking like you,” she smirks.

“HR is gonna have a field day with us…”

#ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams smut #bully!ellie williams #wedgie kink

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literatureaesthetic · 30 days

Text

i can't do an april wrap-up/monthly book recommendation post because i only finished one book in april, and it was a short story(🥴)

april was a month of travelling, of exploring, and of heartbreak (having to reject an offer from oxford because i can't afford relocating rn is going to haunt me for the rest of my life). reading, for the first time in a long time, hasn't been a priority for me, and that feels really good??

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cannibaled · 2 months

Text

situations

wanted to challenge myself, since i'm used to only writing for ocs. i thought it'd be fun doing something different with a preexisting character and self insert :3 —

☆ warnings: none, slight nsfw. mostly in language.

☆ premise: possessive felix, farleigh being farleigh

it was difficult being felix catton's best friend. much less, his younger best friend.. which, happened to only be by a year, by the way.

despite this fact, he treated you like a child. as if he was an overprotective college brother, holding control over his high-school sister. except, you both attended college. the. same. one. you were schoolmates, for gods sake.

there was a set of unspoken rules felix expected you to follow. with you both attending oxford, it only made it that much easier for him to watch you.

you could be friends with his friends, but not too close with the guys. you couldn't hook up at parties if he was there. he would make a scene, and bust the poor guys ass. it was aggravating. you were grown, desperate to explore college hookup culture with an itch that needed scratching, and despite how annoying he was, he was sweet. you couldn't just snap at him. just imagining him looking like a kicked puppy enough to scar you for years. and, he did he mean well, really. his execution just sucked.

you took a drag from the joint that hung lazily between your fingers, inhaling the smoke that escaped from your lips. loud music, muffled due to the barrier of doors separating you from the party inside, caused the large house to vibrate. it was late, and the summer air had cooled into a refreshing breeze. something you needed desperately, having felt suffocated from the hot, sweaty bodies that trapped you in.

the door opened and closed, slamming shut with forcefulness that demanded attention. you turned, looking up curiously at the person who interrupted your pity party. there farleigh start stood, in all his 6'5 glory. he quirked a thick eyebrow at you and took a seat next to you on the step, leaning back with a sort of lazy confidence that caused your lips to twitch.

"well, look who it is," the boy drawled sarcastically. "little (L/N)."

"shutup," you groaned, giving him a glare when he plucked the joint from your fingers.

he took a drag himself, playfully blowing the smoke in your face. it was always difficult, with farleigh. you never really knew if he was playing around, teasing, or genuinely being mean-spirited sometimes.

"i'm finding it difficult to understand why the hell you're out there, when the party is in there."

you didn't respond, still pouting over the joint. his lips quirked into an amused grin, and he held it back out to you.

"what? will felix crucify you for joking back or something?"

"ha ha ha." you responded dryly, snatching the joint back. you took one last drag before putting it out, slipping it back in the little case you carried around. "i'm just having a bad night, and i'm not in the mood for your bullying."

"what's up?" he was still leaning back on his elbows, but when you looked at him - really looked at him, you could see a twinkle of concern in his pretty brown eyes. you swallowed, feeling annoyed. pulling your knees towards your chest, you rested your elbow upon them and your head in a hand. "it's embarrassing."

"oh, come on. i'm not going to make it a big deal." you shot him a suspicious look, and farleigh held his hands up in surrender.

"just..it's annoying. not being able to date, and stuff. felix is really overprotective, and it's annoying. and of course, everyone listens to the tall golden boy."

"i see," farleigh tsked. "so, you need to fuck, but felix is preventing that."

you turned your body so you could smack at him, causing him to laugh and grab your wrists. "way to be blunt, dude," you hissed, cheeks red with embarrassment.

"c'mon, it's nothing to be shy about. sex is perfectly natural." your eyes flickered down to his large hands, which swallowed up your wrists. you took a shaky deep breath, but made no move to pull away.

"why am i even having this conversation with y-"

"i can help."

you blinked. "huh?"

"i said, i can help. i'll fuck you. luckily for you, i happen to be the only guy in this preppy ass school who isn't afraid of felix."

you stared at him in surprise, and he simply raised his eyebrows at you, an amused smirk on his lips. "well? you can say no."

"..fine."

you remembered every detail from that night. from the way you felt eyes burning into your back as you and farleigh kissed hungrily, almost devouring each other. from the way the feeling of being watched intensified as you and him left to his room - or, more so, how he dragged you along, and you struggled to keep up. everything was clear in your mind from the moment your lips locked once more in the privacy of his room, the way his hands eagerly but gently undressed you, to after, when you tell asleep on his chest.

that's why, it was difficult for you to understand why he was denying anything had happened. you remembered him saying he wasn't afraid of felix, so, why?

you had woke to pure chaos, alone in farleigh's bed. you rushed to your room to get dressed before heading downstairs, tired eyes falling onto a pissed off felix, and annoyed farleigh. oliver sat quietly, his icy eyes observing the two quietly.

"what the fuck is going on?" you huffed out, almost jumping when felix turned to face you.

"did you and farleigh fuck?"

"w-what? excuse me?"

"oliver said you did. he saw you two leaving together and making out."

you stared in disbelief.

"yes." you said finally, crossing your arms over your chest.

"oliver is a lying, delusional little bastard." farleigh spat, and you shot him a hurt glare.

"yeah, i find it hard to believe you can't keep it in your pants, far," felix shot back, sarcastically.

"i wouldn't fuck her if we were the last two people on earth, felix."

that did it. your face stung with anger, hot and red, your eyes burning with tears. the room was quiet and still, and the irritated furrow in farleigh's brows dropped. he knew he went too far.

"you know what - this is bullshit. im a grown ass woman. so, believe what you want, but i can have sex with whoever the hell i want. you don't own me, and you can't protect me forever."

jaw clenched, you turned on your heel and stormed upstairs, slamming your room door. the old estate shook, but all you could do was throw yourself in bed, and scream into your pillow.

you stayed holed up in your room all day. meals were brought to you, courtesy of duncan and you guessed, venetia, who felt bad and requested it. you only opened your curtains to smoke by the window, attempting to avoid the three as much as possible. you knew you wouldn't be able to stay in there forever, but you needed to calm down. to breathe. you didn't go out to seek them, and they left you alone as well.

it was late when you heard a knock on your room door, and you peeked over the pillow that you buried your face in. you were restless, eyes swollen from crying. how ironic was it that you visited saltburn to celebrate another successful year, to get away from the stress of school, and let go; but, yet, you were more stressed than the exams and studying could have possibly made you.

you didn't answer to whoever was at the door, instead turning away. regardless, whoever it was decided to let themselves in, and you sat up angrily, eyes locking with farleigh's.

"what do you want?"

"i was worried about you."

"great. you see that i'm very much alive, so... bye."

his eyebrows twitched with annoyance, but, surprisingly, he didn't make a snide mark in return. he took a seat next to you, his large body taking up most of the space in your little bed. you scooted away, as if you had been burned, curling into yourself and leaning against the headboard. neither of you said anything. you stared, and he fidgeted with the bracelet that hung loosely on his wrist.

"i thought you weren't afraid of felix." you spoke, your voice cold. he looked up, peeking over at you from beneath his lashes. you suddenly felt angry again. why did he have to be so pretty? and why did he have to look so.. vulnerable?

"i'm not afraid of him. but i'm afraid of losing him." you said nothing. you supposed that was fair.

"but," he continued, his deep voice raspy from yelling earlier. "i should've stood up to him. lets face it, you're an adult. i am, too. plus, oliver is a nosy little shitstarter." you hid your amused smile in your knees.

"you know, i wasn't even all that angry with you. i was hurt. felix and oliver? i was pissed. but, it's just, like.." you took a deep breath when farleigh looked at you, and outstretched your legs.

your hands shook ever so slightly, but you rested them under the backs of your knees. "i really like you. you're always so catty, and sometimes really mean. but i still like you and i don't know why. i mean, i know why," you scratched your cheek awkwardly, your face burning. you avoided looking at him. "i was really happy when you made a move on me last night. but i don't know, when you said what you did today, i felt scared that you just wanted that to be a one time thing."

"baby, i purposely went looking for you," he responded, just as blunt as ever. but, he was gentle. soft. he gingerly gripped your ankles and pulled you closer to him until your butt was flush against his thigh, and propped your legs over his lap. his large hands rested on your legs, rubbing circles into your skin. "it's hard for me to commit, and shit. you've known me for a while, so you know that." you simply hummed. "but, i want to apologize for being a major dick, and make it up to you."

you felt dizzy. sick, almost. resting your head on his broad shoulder, you peered up at him, taking in his pretty features. how annoyingly clear and smooth his skin was, how his lips were naturally pouty.

"and how do you intend to do that?"

"fuck, i'm not a date person, but-" you gave him a look. he swallowed, and gave you a lopsided grin in return. "butttt, i would like to take you out. okay?"

"i thought you were supposed to be making it up to me."

"yeah?"

you looked at him expectantly, and his head fell back into the wall behind him. groaning softly, he closed his eyes, his smile widening. "god, okay. please?"

"please what?"

"please, go out with me."

you hummed, pretending to think, and plucked faux lint from his shirt. he narrowed his eyes at you, squeezing your calves roughly. "c'mon."

"okay, okay. i guess i could, since i'm free and all."

"you'd be free, anyway. i'd have you make time for me."

with a toothy grin, you scooted closer and closer until you could throw yourself over your lap, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. his hands found their rightful place on your hips, before slipping down to grip your ass.

"farleigh start, you are spoiled."

#saltburn #farleigh start #farleigh x reader #farleigh start x reader #felix catton #oliver quick #jacob elordi #barry keoghan #farleigh #oliver #felix #venetia catton

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familyabolisher · 1 year

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At the outset of H. G. Wells's The War of the Worlds (1898), Wells asks his English readers to compare the Martian invasion of Earth with the Europeans' genocidal invasion of the Tasmanians, thus demanding that the colonizers imagine themselves as the colonized, or the about-to-be-colonized. But in Wells this reversal of perspective entails something more, because the analogy rests on the logic prevalent in contemporary anthropology that the indigenous, primitive other's present is the colonizer's own past. Wells's Martians invading England are like Europeans in Tasmania not just because they are arrogant colonialists invading a technologically inferior civilization, but also because, with their hypertrophied brains and prosthetic machines, they are a version of the human race's own future.

The confrontation of humans and Martians is thus a kind of anachronism, an incongruous co-habitation of the same moment by people and artifacts from different times. But this anachronism is the mark of anthropological difference, that is, the way late-nineteenth-century anthropology conceptualized the play of identity and difference between the scientific observer and the anthropological subject-both human, but inhabiting different moments in the history of civilization. As George Stocking puts it in his intellectual history of Victorian anthropology, Victorian anthropologists, while expressing shock at the devastating effects of European contact on the Tasmanians, were able to adopt an apologetic tone about it because they understood the Tasmanians as "living representatives of the early Stone Age," and thus their "extinction was simply a matter of … placing the Tasmanians back into the dead prehistoric world where they belonged" (282-83). The trope of the savage as a remnant of the past unites such authoritative and influential works as Lewis Henry Morgan's Ancient Society (1877), where the kinship structures of contemporaneous American Indians and Polynesian islanders are read as evidence of "our" past, with Sigmund Freud's Totem and Taboo (1913), where the sexual practices of "primitive" societies are interpreted as developmental stages leading to the mature sexuality of the West. Johannes Fabian has argued that the repression or denial of the real contemporaneity of so-called savage cultures with that of Western explorers, colonizers, and settlers is one of the pervasive, foundational assumptions of modern anthropology in general. The way colonialism made space into time gave the globe a geography not just of climates and cultures but of stages of human development that could confront and evaluate one another.

The anachronistic structure of anthropological difference is one of the key features that links emergent science fiction to colonialism. The crucial point is the way it sets into motion a vacillation between fantastic desires and critical estrangement that corresponds to the double-edged effects of the exotic. Robert Stafford, in an excellent essay on "Scientific Exploration and Empire" in the Oxford History of the British Empire, writes that, by the last decades of the century, "absorption in overseas wilderness represented a form of time travel" for the British explorer and, more to the point, for the reading public who seized upon the primitive, abundant, unzoned spaces described in the narratives of exploration as a veritable "fiefdom, calling new worlds into being to redress the balance of the old" (313, 315). Thus when Verne, Wells, and others wrote of voyages underground, under the sea, and into the heavens for the readers of the age of imperialism, the otherworldliness of the colonies provided a new kind of legibility and significance to an ancient plot. Colonial commerce and imperial politics often turned the marvelous voyage into a fantasy of appropriation alluding to real objects and real effects that pervaded and transformed life in the homelands. At the same time, the strange destinations of such voyages now also referred to a centuries-old project of cognitive appropriation, a reading of the exotic other that made possible, and perhaps even necessary, a rereading of oneself.

John Rieder, Colonialism and the Emergence of Science Fiction

#currently reading

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fullsandwichmiracle · 4 months

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"Oxford: A Year Abroad, part three”

Paring: Felix Catton x reader

Warning: 18+, nsfw, smut, Oral, MDNI

Word count: 2006

01|02|03|04|05|?

When Y/N woke up Felix was no longer laying in the bed next to her, She pouted already missing the feeling of his skin. She crawled out of his bed and put on one of his shirts lying on the floor, it was so big on her and smelled just like him. As she walked out of his room Y/N saw Felix sitting on the sofa smoking a cigarette. Felix smiled and looked at her standing in only his open shirt and nothing else. “ Want a cigarette?” he asked, holding up the package. “No thanks, but I would kill for some breakfast,” Y/N said, plunging down next to Felix on the couch, still a bit damp from yesterday. Felix took up his phone and called up a pizzeria. “You okay with pepperoni?” he said as the phone began to call. “That will do” Y/N answered and leaned against Felix's arm as he answered the pizzeria. “ One pepperoni, thanks” he told them and gave them their address and hung up. “ They will be here in fifteen minutes” he told Y/N and put out his cigarette and began to kiss Y/N on the neck. “You're sexy in my shirt” he whispered seductively while continuing to kiss Y/N neck and shoulder and placing hickeys as he went. Y/N moaned as her eyes rolled back in pleasure. Felix began to passionately kiss her and feel up her body with his hands.

His phone rang, prompting him to cease caressing Y/N's body as he answered. After ending the call, he exclaimed, "Pizza's here!" and stood up, leaving Y/N alone as he walked out of his apartment. Taking advantage of the moment, Y/N delved into his dorm, fueled by curiosity about Felix. In one drawer, she uncovered a car key and an unopened letter sealed with wax. Tempted to read it, she hesitated, realizing that tearing the seal would be noticeable. Continuing her exploration, she found a pair of panties under a cabinet, causing her heart to sink a bit. Even though she'd only been around for a week, she didn't like the idea of imagining him with someone else, preferring not to dwell on such thoughts, she discreetly returned them, concealing her snooping. As footsteps neared the door, Y/N quickly retreated to the couch, pretending as if nothing had occurred.

Felix opened the door, holding a pizza carton, entering and placing it on a table, he waited for Y/N to join him and take a seat. As Y/N approached the table to sit down, Felix opened the carton, grabbed a slice, and glanced at Y/N. "Hungry?" he asked with a smirk on his lips and held out a slice right in front of Y/N. “ Beg for it” he demanded and took a big bite of the slice. He liked being in control. "Can I pretty please have a slice?" she begged, looking at Felix with puppy eyes. "Who can say no to that?" he replied, taking a new slice. "Open up," he said, and Y/N did as she was told. Felix held the slice next to her lips, and she took a bite as he held it. They finished the remainder of the pizza, and as they were done, Felix declared, "Time for dessert." and hoisted Y/N from the chair and carried her on his shoulder, leading the way to his bedroom. Felix tossed Y/N onto his bed and climbed on top of her once again towering over her and making her feel so small in his presence, he then began to kiss her on her lips and then made his way down to her neck and placing small kisses as he went down to her shoulders then down to her chest. a small moan of pleasure released from Y/N lips as he began racing town to her belly. He began kissing her thighs and looked up at her telling her “ Beg for it” as he went up to kiss her on her lips again. “Please eat my pussy Felix” Y/N begged as he kissed her around her neck once more. “When you're in my bed you will only address me as daddy,” he said, taking his hand and holding her chin. A bit aggressive “Got it” he said and placed a kiss on her squished lips. Y/N answers “ Yes, daddy” with his hand still squishing her cheeks. “ Good girl” he said as he let go of her and began tracing down her body as he had done before, this time when kissing her thighs began inching closer to her now wet and throbbing pussy. Slowly beginning to kiss her clit and then starting to circle his tongue and later going up and down between her folds. He held onto her thighs with a firm grip holding her still as he began tongue fucking her pussy. Y/N moaned, as she gripped his hair with one hand and clutched the satin covers with her other, scrunching the bedding. He began picking up the pace going faster and gripping her tighter from keeping her still as she began twitching with every stroke of his tongue. “Can I cum daddy” she moaned, barely containing herself. Felix looked up nodded quickly and began to finger her simultaneously as he tongue fucked her. The sensation became too much for her; she came and moaned, nearly screaming. He licked her clean tasting her cum before going up and Kissing her lips, he murmured, "Such a sweet dessert.". and kissed her forehead before laying down next to her.

Y/N and Felix lingered in bed for a while until Y/N realized she should probably return to her room to prepare for the upcoming school week. "I should probably go back to my room, school tomorrow," Y/N informed Felix as she sat up. He sat up and kissed her neck from behind. “ As long as you promise to visit me during the week.” he murmured into her neck. "I'm going to try my hardest,” she answered, aware of the week packed with lectures.”Okey but I'm going to miss you,” Felix said, still kissing her neck from behind. Y/n didn't wanna leave but knew that if she stayed she wasn't going to be able to pull away from his passionate kisses. As Y/N started to leave the bed, Felix grabbed her hand dragging her back into his arms kissing her passionately on the lips. “Okay now you can leave” He said, then laid back down in bed, watching her leave. Y/N buttoned the shirt she was wearing, donned her pajama shorts, but couldn't locate her panties,She glanced back at Felix lying in bed one last time before heading out.

Upon returning to her room, Y/N layed down in her bed, pondering whether what had just happened was a dream or not. Ever since she first laid her eyes on him on her initial day during the tour she had wanted him, and now she knew he wanted her. After lying in bed, replaying the events of yesterday in her head for what seemed to be an hour or more, she looked outside and noticed the sun setting. Only having eaten a pizza the whole day Y/N put on something suitable to go and get something in the school cafeteria.

In the cafeteria there were only a few people left as it was soon going to close for the day. She purchased a sandwich and took a bowl of soup that was free and sat down at one of the tables. Eating her dinner in silence and then tidying up and leaving. On her way back she saw Farleigh kissing someone down in a corridor. Hearing quiet moans as she went up the stairs. Back in her room again she sat down and looked at her schedule for next week, filled with lectures and a seminar. They also had a writing assignment that started sometime next week. She recalled one of her professors mentioning it before everyone left the Friday lecture. After Y/N quickly outlined a brief schedule for her studying, she prepared for bed and packed her bag for an early morning lecture tomorrow. Lying down in bed, Y/N dreaded the upcoming week. However, she reassured herself that seeing Felix at some point during the week would make it more tolerable. She drifted off to sleep thinking about Felix and his soft brown eyes.

As Y/N woke up the next day, she felt a wave of disappointment as she opened her eyes, realizing that Felix wouldn't be there. The warmth of the previous night's memories lingered, leaving a bittersweet feeling in her heart. As her alarm continued its persistent ringing, she snapped out of her fantasy, the remnants of last night's dream dissipating in the face of the new day's reality. She started getting ready for a day filled with lectures, choosing a stylish outfit to blend in with the evidently wealthier crowd at the school. Her homeschool covered the majority of the tuition, but she still had to pay a significant portion, and that alone nearly depleted her bank account. The struggle to manage expenses weighed heavily on her mind as she prepared for the day. To cut costs, she decided to pack a lunch, determined to avoid unnecessary spending in the cafeteria.

Upon entering the lecture hall, she spotted her friends seated in the crowd, eagerly waving for her to join them. Their friendly gestures added a touch of warmth to the academic environment. Taking a seat next to them, one of her friends eagerly asked her to spill the details about what went down at the party. The curiosity in their eyes made her realize that her escapades had become the talk of the group. She began recounting the events, determined not to leave out any details. However, just as she was about to dive into the part where she jumped into the pool, the teacher started the lecture, forcing her to interrupt her story. The disappointment on her friends' faces mirrored her own frustration at the forced interruption.

The day's lecture delved into various economic models, setting the stage for an upcoming paper assignment. As the professor explored the nuances of each model, the challenge of crafting a comprehensive paper loomed over the students.Y/N received the assignment to explore the Cournot model with identical goods and started contemplating what to include in her essay. The essay was relatively short, around two thousand words, and she figured it shouldn't take her more than a few days. The deadline wasn't pressing; they had until next week to complete and submit it. After attending two lectures, Y/N and her friends strolled towards the cafeteria, eager to grab lunch and catch up on Y/N's latest gossip. While recounting the events of Saturday, she intentionally left out certain details, feeling a bit reserved as the cafeteria buzzed with conversations. The awareness of the public space made her choose discretion, keeping some aspects of the story to herself.

As the day progressed, she exited the final lecture feeling weary from the extended period of sitting and lack of movement. The physical toll of a day filled with classes left her yearning for some activity to shake off the fatigue. Upon returning to her room, she grabbed a bag and contemplated heading to the campus's swimming pool for a refreshing swim. The idea of immersing herself in the water seemed like a perfect remedy for the day's academic strain. Upon reaching the pool, she swam a couple of laps until she felt satisfied with her exercise. The rhythmic strokes and the cool embrace of the water provided a welcome break, allowing her to unwind and clear her mind from the academic demands of the day. Returning to her dorm, she took a refreshing shower and prepared herself for the next day of academic torture.

Tag list: @celestialstar111

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