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#Erdtree Avatar
pumpkincatdoodling · 6 months
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Erdtree avatars got a lot of junk in their trunk.
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minespatchart · 26 days
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My avatar art for April 2024. Just to let you guys know, I haven't played Sekiro, so it was a bit of a challenge trying to add the Fountainhead palace for the background.
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northernolddragon · 10 months
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lokirulzart · 10 months
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The unofficial title of this colored sketch is “POV: you’re Iron Fist Alexander and you’re realizing that the Tarnished Warrior who got you out of the hole in the ground was, indeed, holding back”
…but that’s a long title so we’ll call it “Are You Gay Yet?”
Got DANG, dat boy strong. This is what happens when you don’t put points into the intelligence stat.
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skeleetrom · 2 years
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nylusion · 7 months
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Come and watch as Xycor streams more of his playthrough of Elden Ring! This time he will be facing the second Erdtree Avatar of Liurnia, if he can find his way there!
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eyestrain-addict · 4 months
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Unpopular Elden Ring opinion: Ik that its probably just the death blight making Fortissax's scales black, but I like to imagine he was always black, simply because it would suck if one of the most important dragons lore-wise just had the exact same model as the other ancient dragons. (as is, it still sucks he's just a reskin, but at least he has a unique color palette)
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witchblade · 1 year
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ill pace myself with elden ring this time bc by the time i got my ass to the haligtree i was so sick and tired of the game i literally parkoured through it and didn't explore at all
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asordidbarwere · 2 years
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leyndell OHHH leyndell, city that is awful and sucks!
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goji-pilled · 7 days
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whoever at fromsoft thought this was a good idea should be smacked
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sadlazzle · 3 months
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finally actually reached raya lucaria academy. fun dragon fight tbh, turns out large bosses r a lot more fun on horseback
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eyebrowpunk · 1 year
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ER has some amazing quality whiplash because as a whole it is one of the best-made games I’ve ever seen, period, but it also doubled down so fucking hard on some of its absolute worst gameplay ideas and designs.
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reyrapidsbutgayer · 5 months
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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability
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It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.
In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.
Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.
It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.
Explanation of Grading system:
Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.
Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.
Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.
Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?
Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.
Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.
Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.
Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.
Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.
Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.
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Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
Dragonkin Soldier:
Mindless beast
Astel, Naturalborn of the Void
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Fia's Champions:
Ghosts, simps.
Regal Ancestor Spirit
Animal
Erdtree Avatar
A plant
Great Wyrm Theodorix
Mindless beast.
Ulcerated Tree Spirit
A plant, no junk
Tibia Mariner:
Skeleton
Red Wolf of the Champion:
Animal.
Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Abductor Virgin
First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.
Erdtree Burial Watchdog
Stone gargoyle
Crystalians
Non-organic
Mad Pumpkin Heads
Unable to consent due to madness.
Cemetery Shade
Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.
Spirit-Caller Snail
Animal
Runebear
Animal
Miranda the Blighted Bloom
A plant
Guardian Golem
Stone gargoyle
Starscourge Radahn:
Unable to consent due to madness
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Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Elden Beast:
Too catholic.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:
Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.
Omenkiller:
Basically a cop.
Necromancer Garris:
Killed his family, not a good husband.
Royal Revenant:
Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)
Godrick the Grafted:
Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.
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Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
Valiant Gargoyle:
Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.
Malenia, Blade of Miquella:
Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)
Death Rite Bird:
I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.
Black Blade Kindred:
Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.
Maliketh, the Black Blade:
Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.
Morgott, the Omen King:
You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.
Draconic Tree Sentinel:
Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.
Wormface:
Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.
Tree Sentinel:
Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.
Elder Dragon Greyoll:
Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.
Grafted Scion:
There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.
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Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
Esgar, Priest of Blood:
No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)
Mohg, Lord of Blood:
This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.
Borealis the Freezing Fog:
Too cold, not a snuggler.
Elemer of the Briar:
The armor stays ON during sex.
Kindred of Rot:
It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.
Sanguine Noble:
Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.
Decaying Ekzykes:
He's sick right now, leave him alone.
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Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:
I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.
Grave Warden Duelist:
I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.
Night's Cavalry:
If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.
Onyx Lord:
Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.
Alabaster Lord:
Same as the Onyx Lord but slightly more goth.
Fell Twins:
Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.
Demi-Human Queens:
I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.
Stonedigger Troll:
If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.
Flying Dragon Greyll:
A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.
Glintstone Dragon Adula:
A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.
Beastman of Farum Azula:
On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.
Battlemage Hugues:
Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.
Commander O'Neil:
Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.
Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:
The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.
Adan, Thief of Fire:
The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.
Soldier of Godrick:
He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.
Flying Dragon Agheel:
One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.
Demi-Human Chief:
Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.
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Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
Lichdragon Fortissax:
A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.
Crucible Knight Siluria:
A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.
Mimic Tear:
A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?
Commander Niall:
A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.
Fire Giant:
Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.
Ancient Hero of Zamor:
Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.
Cleanrot Knight:
Lesbian activities detected.
Crucible Knight:
These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag:
Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.
Bols, Carian Knight:
He seems like a good boy.
Scaly Misbegotten:
I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.
Leonine Misbegotten:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
Misbegotten Warrior:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
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Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
Crucible Knight Ordovis:
Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.
Perfumer Tricia:
She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.
Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:
You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.
Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:
As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.
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Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
Dragonlord Placidusax:
Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...
Ancient Dragon Lansseax:
Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.
Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):
We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)
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Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
Radagon of the Golden Order:
He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.
Godskin Duo:
Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.
Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:
The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.
God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:
Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.
Black Knife Assassin:
They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.
Patches:
If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.
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prismatic-starstuff · 2 years
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Okay so I finally got the Int requirement to use Sword of Night and Flame and wow folks weren't kidding when they said it was busted huh
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miquella-everywhere · 23 days
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i think miquellas curse is more then just eternal childhood. i find it very interesting that it seems none of his plans ever came to fruition, the hailigtree never became an erdtree, the eclipse didnt happen, his knights sword was never given to a knight, he was torn from the trees womb, malenia failed to defeat radahn in caelid. i think his curse then is a wider reaching thing that causes both him and all his work to stay in an infant state. in the same way malenias rot causes things to decay around her miquelas eternal childhood effects everything he does too.
🤔🤔🤔
I have to say that I think you are right anon.
I have my own theories but personally, I see that Miquella has been fighting and uphill battle since the very moment that he was born. Not quite on the same physical sense as Malenia, but more in regards to how he is being purposefully stunted from achieving his true potential.
What makes Miquella so interesting to me is just straight up the existence of Unalloyed Gold; a metal so pure that it can purge the meddling of an Outer God. And as we can see, by looking deeper into what's truly going on, is that several Outer Gods are all vying for power in the Land Between. And amazingly the only one that has the power to truly put a stop to their meddling; is Miquella.
Miquella has faced resistance all his life from the looming presence of the Outer Gods. Be it the Rot that has a strangle hold on his beloved twin sister, the Greater Will which dominates the Land and terrorizes those it deems lesser in the eyes of its Order, the Frenzied Flame which slandered the Grand Caravan and wishes to burn the world to ash, or the Formless Mother and her Avatar Mohg, who has left Miquella's body as nothing more than a withered cadaver.
Miquella has been fighting an uphill battle against the Outer Gods since day one, and he is without a doubt the biggest threat to every single one of them. And that is precisely why they fear him, and wish to make him weak.
But at the same time: Miquella has vowed to become exactly what it is that the Outer Gods fear of him.
And all he needs is a Tarnished that is too stubborn to die to make his plans come to fruition.
Edit:
Okay so in terms of Malenia, she too was stunted from birth.
Like, if Miquellas whole deal is is his intelligence/faith, then Mals whole deal is her dexterity/strength. Malenia was purposely stunted with the fact that the Rot hinders her physical growth and strength, along with the fact that she is constantly losing her body/limbs to the Rot, and that she is in an eternal mental battle to make sure that the Rot does not claim her mind/very being.
Miquella and Malenia are two halves of one whole, and both of the Empyrean Twins are hindered from achieving their full potential thanks to the bullshit of the Outer Gods.
But regardless of the Outer Gods meddling, Miquella and Malenia have managed to rely on each other to enhance their strengths, and cover their weaknesses, so that they can make their ambitions come true.
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slavonicrhapsody · 4 months
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Hey do people need birth control in the Lands Between or
omg ok. I’ve actually been wondering this for a while. I’m about to write way more words than you probably expected
there’s a few weird references to fertility in the game but I think the most blatant is the hilarious removed item description for the turtle neck meat:
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“A splendid, lengthy cut of turtle neck meat. […] Turtle meat is said to boost virility, but none in the Lands Between seem to have much appetite for it these days. In Lands Between. the urge to reproduce has waned long ago.”
so apparently in the lands between these days there’s no desire to reproduce. which makes sense as the entire land has been ravaged by war and most ordinary people have become shambling husks. lol
I do think though that in the game as a whole there’s a clear theme of a once fertile and plentiful age becoming stagnant: several item descriptions describe that the Erdtree once experienced an “age of plenty” that has since dried up:
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“Talisman depicting a drop of the Erdtree's sap, a blessed boon. It was once thought that the blessed sap of the Erdtree would drip from its boughs forever — but that age of plenty swiftly came to a close, and with time, the Erdtree became more an object of faith.” (Blessed Dew Talisman)
Sap is the lifeblood of the tree, carrying nutrients as the tree grows new buds in the spring… it’s associated with a time of growth. Then, after the age of plenty ended, came the Erdtree’s seeds, and its offspring:
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“A golden seed, found at the base of an illusory tree. […] When the Elden Ring was shattered, these seeds flew from the Erdtree, scattering across the various lands, as if life itself knew that its end has come.” (Golden Seed)
“The Erdtree was once perfect and eternal, and thus was it believed that Erdtree seeds could not exist.” (Seed Talismans)
“Ceremonial staff depicting the Erdtree in its historic radiance. Wielded by the avatars who protect the Minor Erdtrees. The avatars, emerging in the wake of the Elden Ring's shattering, were determined to protect the withering Erdtree's offspring.” (Staff of the Avatar)
We see this exact theme reflected in Marika and her offspring: it begins with Queen Marika the Eternal (Eternal as the Erdtree was once thought to be), who produces a lineage of offspring that end up bringing about the ruin of the Shattering wars (just as the Erdtree seeds were thought to herald the ends times). Marika’s once powerful lineage has begun to fizzle out, with Godrick, an aged and frail man, being the last of the lineage. Essentially, the Lands Between are past their age of growth, expansion, and reproduction, and the Erdtree now withers.
Regarding reproduction, we also have this interesting song sung in Latin by the chanting winged dames (aka the singing bat ladies):
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“O, locus ille, beatus quondam, nunc deminuit. Nos, destinatae matribus, nunc fiunt turpes. Ploravimus lacrimavimusque, sed nemo nos consolatur. Aureum cui irascebaris?”
“Alas, that land, once blessed, now has dimished. We, destined to be mothers, now become tarnished. We have lamented and we have shed tears. But no one consoles us. Golden one, at whom were you angry?”
The first line clearly refers to the Lands Between losing their vitality after the Shattering, and the last line wonders why Marika shattered the elden ring in the first place. But the bat ladies lament how what happened to the Lands Between made them unable to be mothers… why? it’s possible that the withering of the Erdtree which I just talked about also had a parallel effect on other beings’ vitality and fertility in the Lands Between, causing mass infertility? who knows
so DO you need birth control in the lands between? unclear. but maybe use it anyway just in case
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