#Can u tell I've never smoked or tried weed before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ddejavvu · 2 years

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hi hi hi can i please request a dealer!remus x reader where the reader only smokes weed but doesn’t do any drugs. and she’s at a party and one of his friends tricks her into smoking weed that’s laced with something and she is like really fucked up and is really scared and calls remus? maybe just like him being angry as fuck with the guy and then looking after her afterwards and it ending with cuddles? love u 🧡

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

"Baby," Remus tries to keep his voice calm despite the fact that he's frustrated, "Tell me again, please? I can't understand you very well. Just take your time, talk slow, okay?"

"Mm-hm." You whimper pitifully into the phone, "I- I saw someone smoking, jus' like you, and they offered me some. I re-" Your word shatters with a hiccup, "I remember you sayin' not to trust people. So I made sure I asked first if it was safe."

Something heavy and dull sinks in Remus's chest, "And what did they say?"

"'Said it was fine," You recounted, "But- but I didn't like it, Remmy, it didn't feel good. I- I think there's something wrong." Your legs are wobbly and you collapse onto the staircase you were trying to conquer, "I can't see straight, and-and my legs don't work, and I don't know what to do!"

You dissolve into sobs, and Remus is already pocketing his keys, intent on rescuing you from the party, and slitting someone's throat. He just hopes that whoever drugged you is still there, because if he doesn't get to exact justice for your naivety, he's sure he'll explode.

"Okay, baby, just stay calm please. Don't let anyone near you, okay? Wait for me somewhere safe, I'm coming to get you."

Remus definitely breaks speeding laws on the way over to the house party you've gone to, but he'd pay a thousand fines just to get you home safely. He bursts through the door in a commotion akin to an action movie, but no one's attention is on him as the party rages forward. He spots you immediately, crumpled on the lower steps of a staircase, your shoulders shaking as your head is buried in your knees. He rushes for you, making sure to announce his presence before touching you.

"Y/N," He taps your shoulder gently, "Y/N, it's me, it's Remus. We're gonna go to the hospital, okay? I've gotta make sure you're alright."

"The hospital?" Your voice quivers along with your lips, and Remus hates causing its tremble, "I- I don't wanna go to the hospital, Remus! That's scary."

"I'll be there the whole time." He soothes you, helping you to your feet and catching you around the waist when you threaten to fall, "But we gotta go, bug, just to be safe."

"Okay," You whimper miserably, tears streaked down your flushed cheeks, "Remus, carry me?"

He tells himself he's only giving in because you're unstable, but he knows he'd carry you to the ends of the earth any day if you asked him to. He nods, hoisting you into his arms and letting you bury your head into his neck, "Do you remember who it was?"

You point at a mousy brunette that sits on a couch opposite the door, though he doesn't catch your gesture. Remus commits the face to memory, hellbent on exacting revenge, "Good job remembering, baby, that'll help."

"Help?"

"I'm gonna.. tell him off."

"With your fists?" Even delirious, you know Remus too well.

"Maybe," Remus mumbles, throwing the door open again and rushing to the car, eager to get you to the ER, "'S not important, baby, just sit still."

He straps you in and tries to step back, but you catch his wrist with an adorably concentrated expression on your face.

"Violence is never the answer, Remus." You scold, your eyes slightly drifting out of focus, "Don't hit him."

"Okay." Remus placates you, leaning forward to kiss your forehead, "Okay, bug, I won't hit him."

"Thanks." You grin up at Remus, and if he wasn't so worried about your safety, the expression would have melted him. You let go of his wrist, twisting in your seat to recline against the headrest "Now c'mon Remmy, take me to the doctors."

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posts-for-when-im-high · 1 year

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Personal life post but ya girl was recently diagnosed with Covid for the first time and boy howdy it's an experience. My partner had bronchitis right before I started feeling sick so Naturally I assumed I was also getting bronchitis (what I wouldn't GIVE for bronchitis now, ough). The only thing that clued me in was when I started losing the ability to smell. As a person with very autistic tendencies (sensory-seeking!!! Specifically through smell and taste), this was incredibly depressing for me. On top of this, it is the WEIRDEST GODDAMN THING I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED.

I've seen a ton of posts about how Covid obviously sucks and is incredibly dangerous (really praying I don't end up having long-Covid from this) but no one I've read has ever tried to detail what it's like to be completely lacking two of your basic senses when you are used to having all of them. I hope this isn't ableist of me to try and document parts of my experience; obviously my temporary lacking sense of smell or taste is DRASTICALLY different and non-comparable to someone permanently lacking vision or hearing. It's so hard to even begin to put this experience into words. And I'm not getting all science-y here; I've looked into a few articles about why and how this happens during Covid and I'm not educated enough to describe it accurately here. But it really feels like my brain has completely forgot how to taste or smell.

I know what things taste like. I have very distinct foods and scents I'm drawn to. Very picky eater since birth, so having to eat food while only experiencing Texture™️ is super not fun. But NOTHING TASTES. OR SMELLS. I know what it SHOULD taste like!!! I know what it SHOULD smell like!! But my brain is simply not making the connection between these memories and my senses in the present moment! I've been lighting candles this whole quarantine because small fires bring me joy but I can't smell anything from them. Doesn't matter how strong the scent is or how long it's been burning for. I've been drinking lots of Gat*r*de to try and get plenty of fluids in my system. Which color? Doesn't matter!! Who cares?? I can't taste it anyway!! It's kind of like those weird m-berry pills that people take to flip sour and sweet flavors around in their mouths, but instead of creating the opposite of a flavor, it erases it entirely.

There are still sensations to eating though. Obviously food is still crunchy or soft, loud or quiet. But I still get sort of tingly feelings from mint (mouthwash, toothpaste, peppermint...) and some afterburn and heat sensations from spicy foods (ramen, hot sauce, salsa...) But there is just no FLAVOR from these foods. I dipped a tortilla chip in Goblin Sauce (thank u Nekrogoblikon) like it was a queso dip and didn't even flinch. I've been more experimental with foods these past few days than I've been in my entire life. No regard for flavor whatsoever. But this also makes it so SOUL-CRUSHING when I have foods that I know I enjoy. I'm at the very end of my Girl Scout Cookies for this year. Those aren't around all the time!!! You're telling me I'm not allowed to enjoy my goddamn Tagalongs in the VERY short time I have them for??? There is only ever the vaguest hint of a broad flavor, like Sweet or Salty, and nothing past that.

Not being able to smell perfume is also really strange. I have quite a decent perfume collection with some distinct notes I very much enjoy. Like the candles, regardless of how strong or noteworthy a perfume is to me, I get absolutely no smell from it. I could douse myself in an absolute cacophony of scent and never tell the difference if I was wearing no perfume at all. My lovely partner has realized that this means he can go outside to smoke without me and I won't complain to him that he reeks of weed!!! It's weird!! I can't even smell my cats! One of the best pleasures in life is being able to bury my entire face into my cats fur and inhale!!!! I'm mcfreakin losin it!!!!

#Covid #long post #shut up kayleigh

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rebelcap · 4 years

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We are not just friends —Part 6

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

6. Stay.

Chris's brain was barely functioning as they kissed, slowly. Her lips were soft and gentle against his, she was sucking and licking his lips as Chris caress her neck and slide his hand slowly to her lower back. Sofia grabbed his wrist and pulled his down under, to get a hold of her ass and Chris smiled.

“Damn, Sof—” He whispered as he kissed her neck and pull her close, sliding his leg between hers. She gasped when she felt that sweet friction on her pussy, that only encourage Chris more as he moved his hand under her shirt and lifted it, planting kisses on her belly as he goes up.

He's abruptly interrupted as Sofia pushed him off and she quickly straddles him as she planted a firm kiss on his lips. His hands go to her hips making her feel how hard he already was.

“Fuck,” She mumbles against his lips and Chris took that as a cue and moved her against him again, now she fully set down on his clothed dick rubbing her pussy alongside. Chris sat down pushing her further down as he kissed her again, Sofia began moving her hips as she used his shoulder as leverage to move.

The friction was enough to get her going and Chris was kissing her neck, rubbing his beard and holding her close.

“You're so fucking warm,” Sofía said as he pushed her hands under his shirt, feeling his muscles tense as she moans softly at Chris's ear. Chris was about to take off her shirt as an annoying ringtone started blasting from her forgotten hoddie.

“Shit,” Sofía exclaimed as she reached for the hoodie.

“Do you have to get that?” Chris asked as she tried to fish out her phone, never stooping to plant kisses on her neck.

“It's Ron,” She said triumph as she slides her finger and put the thing on her ear. “Hey boss, ” She answered as she played with Chris's hair, dischaved it more.

Chris felt like he was on a cloud, feeling beyond intoxicated as she touched him so lightly. He kept trying to take her shirt off and she swats him shaking her head.

“But-” Chris tried to argue and she mm-uhm at the phone and leans on to kiss him fully on the lips.

“Yeah, sure. I'll be there. I might take a little bit because I'm not on the hotel-yeah, sure. Alright, I'll take a few samples and meet you there.” She said smiling through her voice as she hung up. Sofia let out a sigh and look down at Chris that had to lay down to the grass. “I have to go.”

“You're kidd-wait!” Sofía was quickly on her feet as he almost couldn't move, his dick was painfully hard. “Sof!” He sat down and saw her sliding inside of her jacket and put her backpack on. She walked back inside and kissed him but on the cheek, which took Chris by surprise.

“See you,” She smiled casually, ruffled his hair, and before Chris could even answer she was out.

“Stay,” Chris Whispered as he laid back to the grass and palmed his dick. “Fuck.”

"What the fuck?!” Sofía muttered angrily at herself as she wiped her cellphone and quickly texted her Jiminy Cricket.

I heavily make out with Chris, thoughts?.

Before she could even pocket her phone it rings to like.

“He—

“Fucking finally!.”

“No, Mandy. I never meant it to do that, he was talking about her ex and fucked up shit people do to him and he said he trusted me and I kissed him!” Sofía stressed herself as she tells what happened. “I almost fuck him if it wasn't that Ron called!”

“Then why did you kiss him?” Mandy asked as she shushed someone, it was probably Luke.

“I don't know!” She shouted as she crossed the street and wave down a taxi. “What I'm supposed to do now?,” Sofía asked as she gets in and quickly told the driver the address of the hotel.

“What if I ruined a perfect friendship?, because you know I adore that idiot.”

“Sofía, you need to talk about it then.”

“No fucking way.”

“Are you going to avoid Chris?”

“Fuck yes, until I can look him on the face again. Oh my God!, why I'm such a hoe?, Why I'm like this?” Sofía covers her face as the driver cleared his throat.

“Sof, don't avoid him. Chris is your friend, not some guy…” Amanda told her making her curse under her breath.

“Yes, I know that—I'll a with it later.”

Later, much much later. The meeting went more than amazing, Ron had managed to seal a deal with a bar that was a household of LA, this was a big step in the right direction.

“You did well today, kid. I'm proud of you.” Ron grabbed her shoulder and give it a warm squeeze making Sofía smile.

“Thanks, Ron, it means a lot.”

Ron smiled back at her and keep on chatting with the bar people, the place was packed but she had managed to be on a place that was kind of quiet and her beer kept getting warmer by the second.

“You need a refill?” The barmaid asked her and she nods a few times giving her back the glass. “You okay?” She asked putting back the full pint in front of her.

“I guess,” Sofia sigh and put both elbows on the counter bar. “I kissed one of my closest friends and he kissed me back and now I'm confused as fuck.”

She laughs but understood. “You like him?”

“Yes, besides that he's freaking captain America—” She laughed. “He's great, awesome and we had so much fun together. I've known him for a year now our best friends date each other.”

“So, there's been pressure?”

“You've got no idea, we mostly laugh and joke about it—he was with someone until a couple of months but he slept with her recently and he's avoiding her and I'd kiss him and he kissed me back and if it wasn't that I'd have to come here we were going to sleep together.”

“Alright, you two obviously like each other of any of that wouldn't have happened.”

“Guess so.”

“That doesn't leave much room for thinking, girl.” She wiped the counter and Sofía just hummed.

Her phone started ringing and it was Mandy calling her.

“Hey babe, what's up?”

“Hello, gorg, where you at?”

“I'm still on the bar—”

“I know but where?”

“On the last stall of the bar—why you want to know?” Sofía asked sipping her beer and heard mumble over the phone.

“Just asking for a friend—”

“Mandy no.”

“Mandy yes, you'll thank me later I know, I love yoooooou.” She sings over the phone and Sofía hung up and grunted and started to drink her beer.

“Shit.” Sofía gulped and drank the rest of her beer on one go and asked the barmaid for something stronger—she was going to need it.

“Yeah, I see her. thanks, bro, yeah yeah.” Chris spoke making his way through the crowd of the bar, it wasn't many people. He could easily see her on the back of the bar, chugging down the rest of the beer.

“Sofi,” He spoke sitting on the stall beside her. Sofía gives him a quick look and bites her bottom lip. “You run on me,” Chris said with a smile, seeing her acting this shy was… endearing.

“Yes, I know.” She hummed and nod a few times, still looking forward and made a face. “Sorry, I didn't mean that to happen—I mean, you know. Dude—I don't want you to think that—Chris, fuck. I'm sorry, I don't want to fuck up what we have.” Sofía stumbles over her words, not really knowing what to say because she didn't even know what to think about it. One thing she was sure was that she absolutely didn't want to lose Chris over anything.

“You don't fuck up nothing, sweetheart.” Chris quickly assure her. “Trust me, it's everything alright but we do have to talk about it—

“Chris—

“No, we'll talk about it.” He interrupted, sternly. Sofia sigh and nod a few times as she kept an eye on her boss.

“We can't, my boss is there and there are people and I'm trying to prolong this not talking. So, maybe back at the hotel?”

Chris laughed and Sofia covered her face with her hands, half embarrassed and half smiling. Couldn't help to feel relief that Chris wasn't giving her shit about it, it makes sense what she was saying.

“Alright,” He bows his head to then look back at her, smiling like a freaking ray of sun. “Don't panic, Sof—

“I'm not, It's just—I like you, I really like you, dude. I don't want to fuck this shit up.”

“Baby—it's not,” Chris quickly interrupted shaking his head. “I like you, in all honestly I've wanted to kiss you since I saw you at the bar.”

“Chris… really?”

“Yeah, you kidding me?” He laughed hiding his face under his hat, he was blushing. Sofía laughed and pull his cap down.

“Idiot.” She mutters biting her lip and looked around, at least no one seems to notice him. “I should go to see if Ron needs any help, you wanna stay or…

“I honestly prefer to be alone with you, I can't kiss you here.” He shrugged and Sofía rolled her eyes.

“Christopher.” He laughed again.

“Alright, alright—” He raised his hands and rub his beard. “I'll go to the hotel, okay?”

Sofía nods a few times and he laughs, making her laugh.

“What are we doing!?” She exclaimed putting both hands on her face, embarrassed. Chris couldn't help but hug her, placing a kiss on top of her head.

“We'll figure it out.”

Well shit, finally.

Thanks everyone, your support means so much!

Tag list

@letsdothemonstermash

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood (doesn't let me tag u)

@thegirlwithpaperheart

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x latina!#chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fluff #Chris Evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans x ofc #Chris Evans x OFC #chris evans x original female character #Chris Evans x poc!un #Chris Evans x brown reader #Chris Evans x latina!reader #Chris Evans imagine #Chris Evans blurb

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eternallybroken7604-blog · 5 years

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We have been up for 2 days. I accepted years ago that this has to be part of my life. He's a package deal. But I am so tired. I do it with him. Idk y. I don't enjoy it most times. But I'm also afraid and to sleep while he's up. I learned not to the hard way.... A part of me wants my life back. My before life. But I know it will be the fight of my life. And I'm not ready. I sometimes tell myself that this was God's plan. I believe that each of us have at least one person that they are mentally to impact in some way and set in motion a positive path. Or bring a lost soul to God. God made me strong and brought me this man. He had to put me thru it to equip me to be wha this man needs. Maybe I'm the only one capable of sticking this journey out with him and bringing him out other side with me. That's why my addiction is so odd. My husband gets locked up from time to time, and when he's gone, I don't do any dope, I smoke my weed. But with the dope, he does my shots, from start to finish. He twirls the bowl. I don't want to know how. I tried once, he got arrested at the end of an 8 month horrendous, traumatizing bender. Suddenly my person is gone and I've been up for weeks. I tried to do it myself. I had the audacity to tell him about it at visitation, because he has always hated doing my shots. He feels enough guilt over where my life is and where it was. He's scared that bnb if I die, he will go to prison. So I always take sure my prints are on it too. He's not ready to even see that he needs to change. I can see that it weighs on him sometimes. And he will want to do better. But then he has no way to stop the guilt, the pain, self hatred. The high and associated relief are his constant and a very erratic life. I'm aware of all this and more. I'm aware I could be completely wrong and he really is just a piece of shit junkiethat destroy a family by joining it. I can't even fault him for that. My kids adored him. And he them. He had a family finally. He was know where near ready to be a step dad. But he gave it an honest try. Then again maybe I just rrwa lly ne ed there to be a greater purpose beh9nd all this, losing my babies, my self respect, my family. Everything.

I can't hate him for being selfish and out for number one, it's all his life has really ever been. I can see what drives everything about h, I study him cause I have never met someone that level of addicted. I cant explain why his thought processes fascinate me, I have to study them til I understand them. Which is hard to do because it's so complex and I'm juggling moneyissues, homelessness, the hustle, him in general, and the dope. The more I learn him, the more pity I feel and I cant leave. I love him to a fault, but I am not ready to abandon him to his demons. He won't survive it with any sort of sanity. He would argue with me on that but it's the one thing I believe with no doubt, he does need me. I think he knows it deep down. He knows I'm 100% on his side. Even if he dont like how at times. He knows I'm real. Even if he tells u I'm not. It's like his pride and years of telling me in so inferior refuse to allow him to recognize anyachievements, no matter the size. I know this but I forget every time we fight, cause it's his defense mechanism with me, it's about the only thing that works. He will reach I to the depths of cruelty and verbally destroy me. He knows what hurts me too. He has left scars that will never go away. I will never forget his eyes and voices and the feeling of my own pain at things he has said. My first husband beat me, that's not how u hurt me. The act of being able to hurt me, that really hurts. My now husband has gotten physical a few times. I cant hate him for it long because I see how much he hates himself for it. But that pride tho, he wont apologize verbally, but he will show me best he can that he's sorry. He knows I deserve better. He went thru a phase where all the blame was put on me for not leaving when it first started, woth the dope and us losing the kids. I tell myself I pushed him too far. It's no excuse I know. But I know how much weighs on him daily, and when substances are u introduced, well I am the embodiment of a large portion of his pain and stress and guilt. I forgive him because I know he's not mentally able to deal with all that and day to day life without help. To stubborn to ever agree with me but I just k ow I'm right. Cant explain that but it's never led me wrong. I shoulder as much as he will let me. And getting high and drunk and my mouth can sometimes push him too far, exacerbates things.

I knew he was a 'recovering' addict when we met. But he only smoked weed when I met him. I thought all that was his past. I didn't mind weed. I didn't personally smoke when we met. I was a divorced mom to 3. We were all finally happy and stable after my horror of an ex-husband. Idk y I fell in love with this man. But I did. He was my first serious relationship in the 2 years since. I never even missed sex, I wasn't lonely. I didn't miss that kind of love until...I was reminded.

8 mos later, we have a place together with my kids. Then a neighbor moved and offered my husband dope. He hid it for a little bit. But I picked up on his different behaviors and made him tell me. Then I wanted to smoke some too. I'd heard of Meth. But I grew up very sheltered by a pill head. I didnt know that when this gorgeous man told me he used to be an addict that he meant thousands of dollars and many hears of hardcore IV drug use. Herion, bar salts. His drug of choice was simply, more. He named his addiction Maria. He needed that relief so badly that once he discovered its power to 'fix' things, he personified his addiction. Maria has been his stability. Shes lways there when everyone else let's him dow. I can understand the desire not to feel. So badly u wanna die. But I was raised different. U can be weak, but dont stay weak. .

But by the time I realized that he didn't recover from his addictions, he fled his former home state and had no access to those things here. He was big on the run big ti.e qhen we met. Hes a hardened city boy. I'm a small town countrygirl. He let me smoke with him. A week later, hes got a needle. I have never seen a pill snorted. I wanted him to let watch him and he did. Seeing the man I love so in thrall to drugs, it broke my heart for him. Women pray to God to see a man look at them with that look. His addiction borders worship. As I write this we are also high with a few friends, he just finished fixing his shot and has decided to ask them to film him. I cant keep going. Thats bothers.me and ill to tore up now to try to figure out my feelings. So I'll wrap this up. My emotions are going every where and I really hate him like this. I hope he watches his video and hates himself. I love him and wint leave him to feel all that guiltalone, that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to feel most of it. God knows I feel my fair share. I promise myself one thing, I will not live like this forever. I'll keep looking for my way out. I'll keep praying for strength to leave. Or for God to open his eyes. I know better than to preach too much at him. He usually shuts down as soon. as he realizes what I'm saying. But I still try. He doesn't know it yet, cause he has never felt it before, but I love him enough for this. I will win this fight. Even if he hates.me in the end. (Forgove any typos, I'm intoxicated and when I get adamant about a topic, I type too fast)

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rebelcap · 4 years

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We are not just friends — Part 16

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

She didn't even look at him, just took another drag of the cigarette her hands were shaking. God, she didn't want to do this at all.

Chris sighed and walked up to her, maintaining his distance and Sofia looked up to him, locking eyes for a moment and everything came rushing for them.

"Hi," Sofia mumble and looked down again, putting one arm over her chest. "What's up?"

Chris chuckles and leans on beside her, putting his hand out for the cigarette and she gives it to him.

"Nothing, really," He said shrugging.

"You sure about that?" She quickly asked and absolutely regretted asking him that. Sofia chuckle. "Forget about it."

"I tried," Chris spoke putting the cigarette on his month. "And I can't get over you—

"Stop," Sofia quickly interrupted him shaking her head making Chris snap his head at her. "You shouldn't even be speaking to me."

"Why? it's always the same with you. You never want to speak with me, always shutting me out at whatever thing you feeling. I can't be open with you, never."

"This is about you repeating a behavior, as usual. Came to a party with some other bitch and here you are, talking with your ex whatever." Sofia said and looked at him. "Those this whole scenario doesn't feel like a fucking Deja Vu?"With that he remembered, she was right and he shook his head.

"It's not the same,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, because I wasn't in love with her—

"Still, you bring her here knowing that I'm here. Witch, it's worse. What the fuck is your point? are you trying to hurt me?" She asked eyes getting glossy. "to prove me something?"

"She wasn't even supposed to be here,"

"She's still here."

"I'm not trying to hurt you," Chris said raising his voice a little. "I don't wanna hurt you, ever."

Sofia was shaking as her heart was jumping on her chest, she had so much shit to say to him. There were so many things on her chest.

"I know I said a bunch of crap to you, that u shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry for that, I lashed out at you and it was my fault because I'm an asshole." She grabbed the cigarette from his hand. "I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry."

"I know you are, I haven't been easy with you either, I know I just wanna do things fast all the time and I was too selfish, I'm sorry I stop speaking with you,"

"It just backfired," Sofia sighed, feeling her throat tighten. "All my doubts, the feelings I was trying to repress. Everything that I was trying to avoid by keeping you at arms lengths, it just…" Sofia wipes her tears quickly. "I didn't want to fall in love with you, I didn't want to be vulnerable because I'm scared of people that I care about leaving me. So, I pull shit like this all the time, not only with you. Mostly I don't care because I can manage on my own, but with you…"

"Sofia," Chris said softly but she didn't acknowledge him, just keet looking at her hands, millions of things going through her head. She didn't even know where to start.

"All that I think about it's you, even when I feel like maybe I'm getting better, maybe I'm gonna be me again—boom, Chris, Chris would have laughed at that, Chris would love this, I wish Chris would be here, Chris Chris Chris," Sofia explained.

"I feel that way too," Chris mumbled. "It's unhealthy how much I can't be without you."

"And it sucks, doesn't it?" Sofia mumble again. "I hate the hold you have in me, I hate that it bothers me so much that you were holding her hand when I saw you. It really hurt, I felt actual pain on my chest."

"She's…" Chris sighed. "it's not serious with her, we are just… We've dated before, very briefly."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, in fact, I think the one that probably needs an explanation it's her," Sofia said getting off the wall and extinguish the cigarette on the wall.

"She knows," Chris said looking up, trying to get her to look at him but she was just avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry I bring her, it was a dick move."

"Yeah, it was." She sighed again and finally looked at him. God, he was so fucking beautiful, she just wanted to reach out and touch him. "You're a good man, Chris." Sofia bit her lip, barely containing the tears. "I'm sorry I'm too fucked up—

"You're not fucked up," He reaches out and grabbed her hands, Sofia was too weak to pull away. "Look at me," He spoke softly to her and she did. "You're not fucked up, not for me, not for everyone. You're an amazing woman, outspoken, proud of who you become against your shortcomings. You deserve patience," He said wiping a tear that fell on her cheek.

"I hurt you and you're here praising my ass. You're crazy," She said and Chris laughed, pulling her even closer.

"Yeah, crazy about you." He said sliding his hand on her arms, she was cold. "as I was saying, you're amazing, you deserve all the time in the word and I wanna give you that."

Sofia looked at him, trying to find that but there wasn't. "You still wanna be with me?"

"Yeah, I never stopped wanting that. I never wanted it to end," He nods, grabbing her hands as she looked down at their fingers.

"I'm scared,"

"I know, honestly… me too," Chris shrugged. "But I don't wanna end this because of that, you're worth it."

"I don't wanna think about this now," She sighed still looking down at their hands. "Not when she's… here and it's Mandy and Luke party, we shouldn't out of respect for all of them." Sofia took a step back and pull her hands out of his.

"Yeah, you're right…" Chris sighed, rubbing his beard. "I'll speak with her, let her know and then we'll talk. What you think about that?"

"Okay," She nods looking at the door. "I should," She pointed at it.

"Me too," He said and bit his lip before she could even make it to the door. Chris grabbed her and plant a kiss on her lips, Sofia felt her knees buckle and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"God, I've missed you," Sofia said against his lips.

"I love you," He mumbles back and she just kissed him deeply. Chris pulled her close and Sofia just felt weak, she wanted him so much all the time.

"We shouldn't be doing this," She mumbles, and Chris sigh, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I know," Chris said. "I know we have to talk things first, figure it out… I just, can't help myself"

Sofía smile and hugged him and they stood there for a little while. Just hug it out for the time being.

~~~

"So she left," Scott told Chris as soon he rejoined him, Chris frown and let Scott elaborate. "With some very attractive gentleman, said she's gonna pick up her luggage in the morning,"

Chris made a face but couldn't be bothered, actually, this was pretty good… considering he just was kissing the actual woman he wanted to be with.

"And you have lipstick all over your mouth," Scott pointed out hiding a smile. "You two finally talk."

"A little," Chris said looking at Sofia who was happily dancing with Amanda's dad. He smiles at the scene, "We agree that we're going to figure it out."

"Fucking finally, mom's dying to meet her." Scott smiled as he affectionately punches his arm making Chris laugh.

"I'm telling you this, I'm going to marry the fuck out of her someday."

"Yeah, mom's gonna love her as we do." Scott smile.

~~~

Sorry I took so long!

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