#CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO READ WITH MY OWN TWO EYES THE DISK HORSE ABOUT HOW PETE WASNT ACTIVELY KISSING VEGAS BACK LIKE ................ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wistfulcynic · 2 years

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not to pile more on that one alcoholic SMAU but since there’s disk horse loose at the moment i’m thinking again about the one thing that really bugs me about it (y’know, aside from the Racism). And i know i go on about this a lot, to the point where i don’t dare anymore for fear people will just roll their eyes and say Yes Saira We Are Aware You Are Old Would You For Once Just Shut The Fuck Up About It and my very valid point will be lost.

but here’s the thing, and apologies in advance because this will be rambling. Here’s the thing about Accuracy In Fic Writing and why “canon-typical historical inaccuracy”, though we do love it so, can go only so far.

first, because the 80s are not history. FFS.

but mostly because there’s accuracy in terms of something that's possible and accuracy in terms of something that’s probable. And they are not the same. Douglas Adams, in The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul (still the best book title in history) took that Sherlock Holmes maxim of “when you have eliminated the impossible....” and turned it on its head in a way that has stuck for decades in mine. He said (Dirk Gently said) and i paraphrase, that when a thing happens that we think is impossible that just implies that there’s something, some fact, that we don’t know. Which is unsurprising when you consider the vast wealth of things that we as a species simply don’t know. But when a thing seems improbable that’s because it goes against something fundamentally human that we do know. It may be factually possible but our gut reaction is “yes, but that person just wouldn’t do that.”

and this is why i cannot get past the faxing flirtation in That One SMAU. Yes, it’s a cute idea. i get why someone who’s had no direct experience with 1980s faxes would be drawn to it. But lads (gender neutral) the thing is. They Just Wouldn’t Do That.

faxes in the 80s were LOUD. They were SLOW. It took like five minutes to send a single page. Five minutes of shrieking noise, and i do mean shrieking. And i just cannot believe that two neurodivergent-coded characters would have the spoons, the patience, the ability to tolerate deeply unpleasant stimuli, to sit around for hours playing tic-tac-toe via fax. It’s not impossible, not as such, it’s just very, very improbable. That improbability shrieks in my mind like a fucking incoming fax and won’t be handwaved away.

this is where the accuracy in terms of what’s probable in fic comes into play. You might think that this sort of thing hardly matters in a fic about characters from a show where they read Pinocchio 100 years before it was written and 18th century pirates dress like Mad Max, but the thing about the show’s anachronisms is that they are all pointedly deliberate. They say something about the characters. Of course Stede likes a story about a puppet who becomes a real boy, he’s in the midst of his own identity crisis. Ed’s leather outfit tells us so much about who he is, the armour he wears, and provides a sharp contrast to both Stede and who Ed becomes when he’s being the truest version of himself. These aren't mistakes made because the writers couldn’t be arsed to research or because they don’t understand the implications of what they’re writing, entirely the opposite. Which is why if someone writes a fic in which Frenchie invents Ye Olde Spotify Playlist or Lucius calls someone a DILF then, babes, i am right there with you. More of that please.

because those things are both fully in character and, within the universe established by the show, entirely probable. They are believable. They fit the fundamentally human things we already know about these characters and this universe. They are factually impossible for 1717 but that doesn’t matter a bit. That is what canon-typical historical inaccuracy gives us.

it does not give us two kids in the 80s playing with fax machines like they’re toys, or the chat in a dating app. Sorry, but it just doesn’t. It may not be impossible per se, just so fundamentally improbable that it’s still shrieking in my head even months later.

and i know this nudges at the precipice of an even larger Disk Horse, the one about characterisation in fic writing and how much OOC is okay and how much is Too Much, but i guess this is where i fall down on that debate too. i’m okay with my characters doing something that is impossible. What i’m not okay with is them doing what, for them, is improbable. If i ever hit a point in reading where i say aloud “but they just wouldn’t do that,” well. That’s where i’m noping out.

#fandom discourse #ofmd #that one alcoholic smau #yes i am still reading it but in full rubbernecking-the-car-crash mode

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sugarandspice-games · 3 years

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Spicy take time (costarring Sugar): The Bros rated by how well I think their arcs/character development/relationship with MC was written and how much it makes sense. (Disclaimer: Our affection for these characters and how interesting, compelling, and lovable we find them has ZERO bearing on this list. ALSO, beware, here there be salt, IE, this is critical of the writing. It’s also long as fuck, so if you just wanna skim and read the bold parts, that’s okay too. You are also free to disagree with us as this is just an opinion, and keep in mind that we have only read to chapter 24 so if there are elements of the story we are unaware of... please be understanding of that and don’t spoil it.) Let’s get started, shall we?

1) Starting at the top is BEST BOI IMO: Beelzebub. So, yeah, in terms of character development and growth, he really doesn’t change all that much, aside from starting off not trusting MC to slowly opening up to them about his trauma. But putting that to the side, his relationship with them makes the most sense. After sharing a bedroom and helping him open up, as well as having the mutual goal of protecting Luke, and then even later going on to save his beloved little brother, it follows that he absolutely adores you afterward. Also, he doesn’t start off disliking you like some of the others. So, all around, he makes the most sense. He’s also one of the deeper characters with his backstory, even if I wish they’d give him other flaws than just being hongry (and playing his unhealthy eating habits/coping mechanism as a joke. Disordered eating should be taken more seriously, especially binge eating but that’s a can of worms for another day)

2) Second best is probably going to shock you, but Satan takes this spot. Why? Well, strictly in terms of arc progression, his relationship with MC starting out as one of manipulation and growing into something more genuine when they go on a heartwarming and wacky adventure together with his hated older brother which causes him to open up makes a lot of sense, at least more so than some of the others. While I wish they gave him more meat characterization wise, I think his arc was pretty well done in terms of story structure.

Okay, so, Sugar here. While I agree with Spice that Satan could use some more meat (and that we should be able to have some more information on Baby Satan because we all need that in our lives), I think that the progression of him and LUCI’S bond (not MC’s) could have done with more subtlety. While I appreciate him softening up, and see that progress, we don’t really get to see the tension of the newfound change and how he settles into letting things go/mellow out and I get it-- it’s a dating sim and the secondary relationships are well, secondary, but it would be interesting to see him and MC bond more through time.

3) Third place probably won’t be all that shocking, because this is where I’m placing Lucifer. He’s arguably one of the characters in the series who’s gotten the most love from the writers, having the most screentime, the most affectionate scenes with MC, and the most fleshed out backstory and characterization as well as fleshed out relationships with each of the characters. His relationship progression with MC also takes a nice, even pace, with him slowly learning to trust them and respect them, culminating in an almost-confession (I THINK. Unless I’m reading that part wrong) and then being shattered at MC’s betrayal, and then earned back in true Pixar-movie fashion by them teaming up for a common goal. HOWEVER. And this is a big however. I would love to see his unhealthy tendencies addressed and NOT fetishized. (Don’t come at me with that “BUT THEY’RE DEMONS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE EVILLLLL” dude. If a demon being in a healthy relationship is where you draw the line in terms of believability, then why are you playing a fantasy demon dating sim anyway?) I love him, I stan him, I simp for him, but I wish he had at least apologized for his not-subtle threats of physical violence toward MC rather than jumping straight into the ALSO kinda violent “You’re mine and nobody else’s” gimmick.

Unlike some men (SPICE), I am actually not a Luci stan and while I do have a soft spot, and understanding of his place as an eldest sibling... I would also like to see the writer’s unravel the unhealthiness/coping Lucifer has in place and why/how it came to be. I feel like we get a sense that Luci has thawed since coming to the Devildom but we don’t really see how Lucifer in the Celestial Realm (and how his friendship with Simeon) has progressed. Luci has a lot of love from the writers but from a story stand-point, he is never really allowed to be weak and own up to his own flaws and how that has impacted/hurt MC.

4) Sharing fourth place is Leviathan and Mammon! I’m putting them in the same spot because the issues I have with them are the same, though I plan on addressing their good points individually. But since my beef is simpler, I’m going to start off with the bad. IMO, a good rivals to friends to lovers romance happens in STEPS. You start off from not getting along, to then finding some things in common, and gradually coming to respect each other, and then like each other, and finally love each other. This... doesn’t really happen with these two, and while we see the change from both tsundere boys starting off disliking you and eventually coming to love you, we don’t really get that inbetween that makes the payoff so much worth it. And if those inbetweens are there, the story doesn’t really tell us that, and it doesn’t show us their thought processes. Like, how much would it suck if in pokemon, your charmander evolved immediately into Charizard upon beating your first few gyms? It’s like that.

But as for the good, Levi’s arc makes sense because you’re the first person to really let him be himself and not shame him for the things he loves. You let him ramble about his interests and show interest in them yourself (AT LEAST IF YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING MONSTER. I’ll let Sugar talk more on him, that’s their boy.)

Whoo, boy. Here we go! For whatever reason, the otaku became my favorite and I love him, but as far as arcs go... He could have gotten a bit more screentime and progress. It makes sense that he would become attached to MC as his brothers are very, very... critical and patronizing about his interests. He is also by far the most skittish and introverted of the bunch, coupled with his sin and seeing all the ways he falls short (in his eyes) is a recipe for loneliness and desire for companionship/friendship. While I am not happy with the progression, for me, it makes sense and I would also have loved to see some breaking/softening of how much his Sin influences him when it comes to MC. I’m not saying erase it because demons are meant to give in to temptation but some reassurance and acceptance of that would be good.

(I also know that there is some disk horse about him guilt-tripping you about spending time with his brothers and while I agree it can be hard... It definitely isn’t on a painful level. Like, say... Ray’s in Jihyun’s route in Mystic Messenger. This also is a difference for players who are interested in one love route versus the many route and different strokes, but I digress.)

As far as Mammon goes, well, you’re his first. And he’s not only glad that there’s someone who’s kind to him instead of making fun of him, but also takes pride in having someone to protect. His puppy crush going to full blown love is adorable.

This blog is all about spicy takes, yeah? Well, here’s mine (Sugar): Mammon is lovable but not as lovable as he could be and before all the Mammon stans, come for me- let it be known I like Mammon but his introduction and how he comes to be soft is NOT an easy, or believable transition. There are ways to write a good tsundere and the writers just missed the mark by having Mammon be too callous and then slipping to lovable without that sweet slide into the other end. I will not deny he is very cute, and a good character, and a good brother (and also the most human, according to Satan’s home screen interaction) but... The progression and endearment factor is lacking because of the structure of the narrative.

5) Is another unsurprising one, but this spot is Belphegor’s. Solmare. My dude. Why did you do this. We could have had it ALL. It could have been great. But you screwed the pooch. You took anything good about this relationship out behind the shed and shot it like a lame horse. Let it be known that I LIKED Belphie and MC’s alliance to get him out of gay baby jail, and I adored that love he still holds for Beel... I thought he was going to be a fav of mine, in fact. But how they handled the... uhm... murder ruined it for me. I’m sorry, I just cannot believe that I’m supposed to suddenly be besties with the man who manipulated me and crushed me to death like, a week after it happened. What if I have PTSD from that??? Also... he claims that he loves MC for who they are and not because of Lilith, but that’s not believable when his whole turning point is finding out that they’re Lilith’s descendant. The change needed to be more gradual, and having a subtle, gradual forgiveness arc would have been AWESOME but we were robbed. ROBBED I TELL YOU!!!!!

Annnd... Belphie is actually one of my favorites FOR SOME REASON. I DON’T KNOW MAN. I agree that we could have had it and I’m like (Insert Hades red flaming hair gif here). The decision to not have a redemption arc ruined it for me and while I love Belphie and his softness/brattiness mixture with handling MC... It is underscored by a lack of believable affection and the payoff of struggle on both Belphie’s part and MC’s. Also, there is a lot of ‘You are not who I want you to be, but it’s good enough’ with MC regarding their lineage and connections to the brothers and how that plays out/color the relationships with maybe the exception of Satan and surprisingly, Mammon that irks me but again, another thought for another time.

6) Aaaaand last and also the least... Asmodeus. “YOU GET NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR.” --Solmare to Asmo. The writers neglected him SO much, I like him but what the hell are they doing? There’s so much that could be explored here, and with anything involving Asmo they’re like “I do not see it”. His love for MC also isn’t really that believable when his turning point is realizing that they’re powerful. It doesn’t even fit with any of his potential conflicts. The Diavolo’s castle arc set us up to think that Asmo would have some deep seated insecurities with not being able to be loved or desired by everyone, or maybe some insecurities about not being an angel anymore, or some vulnerability issues or something, and they were just like NOPE. It doesn’t make any gotdamn sense! I just... Grrr. Asmo, I’m so sorry, sweetie. You deserve better.

Asmodeus definitely deserves better and I will stand by that until the day I stop playing this damn game. While I, personally, think that his intrigue with MC makes sense (because he is lusty-- probably not just for sex but in general), it makes sense he would want someone with power but while the set up is there, his character falls flat because there is no bonding moment, or turning point for him at all. His affection for MC is still that playful, carefree, flirty persona he carries and I would love to see it dropped and how his fall from the Celestial Realm really weighs on him and an arc where he and MC talk about vulnerability and the power behind being seen as someone attractive and the way it dehumanizes you at the same time. It could be good-- hell, it could be great-- but it was killed before it started and I will never not think that Asmo could have had some KILLER growth. As it stands, he has more connection/romantic potential with Solomon than MC.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks! Feel free to yell at us in the replies, you know you want to. If this post blows up enough, maybe we can rate the undatables (though they don’t have any story arcs so... that would be a challenge.)

#spice talks #sugar speaks #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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thecleverdame · 5 years

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Sleepy Hollow - Chapter Six

Series Master List

Pairings: Sam x Reader, mentions of Dean x Jo

Summary: In 1799, specialized police constables Sam and Dean Winchester are sent from New York City to a small town called Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders. Approached by the town’s council, the Winchesters discover the local residents believe that the murders are the work of a deadly Hessian horseman whose head has been mysteriously chopped off. With help from the beautiful Y/N Van Tassel, Sam Winchester’s investigation takes him further through the dark wood where more murders have been occurring. What Sam does not realize is that the mysterious Horseman is being controlled by someone in a sinister plot to kill the most suitable men in the village.

Warnings: Canon-level violence, murder, smut, horror, gore and a little fluff for good measure.

Words: 40k

Beta: ilikaicalie

This series is completed. You can read it on my Patreon for a monthly pledge of 2.50. This pledge includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content. >> CLICK HERE <<

Van Tassel House - Sam’s Room

Sam is startled awake, frightened and sweating. He lies in bed staring at the ceiling wrapped in the darkness of the night. There’s a candle flickering beside the bed almost completely burned down to the chamberstick and the smell of sweet salve, it’s a tell-tale sign. Dean must’ve dressed his head wound. He gingerly touches his forehead, wincing when he gets close to the gash and shakes sleep away.

It’s dark outside the window. The fall from the horse knocked him for a loop but now he’s able-bodied and not sure he’ll be able to sleep any more. He gets up, dresses and heads out to explore the house at night.

Entering the kitchen, he sets his lantern on the table and sits down to open his father’s ledger. It’s only as he settles in that he notices a faint light coming from down the hall. -

Most nights you retreat to the sewing room. There’s no one about the house at this hour and your bedroom can often feel like a prison. So after everyone is asleep you sit by the fire and read until the early hours of the morning.

You don’t hear Sam approaching, he’s quiet as a mouse until the door creaks open and you nearly jump out of your skin. For a moment you think it’s your stepmother, only to be met with the face of the handsome Constable.

Slapping the book closed and tucking it in beside you in the chair, you sit at attention, watching him inch inside the door. “You scared me nearly half to death.” “Pardon my intrusion. I saw a light.” He smiles softly, a wonderful, gentle smile you wouldn’t expect from such a beast of a man.

“It is no intrusion. I come here to read when sleep eludes me.” You can’t help but feel a thrill as he steps closer. “Will you sit with me, Constable Winchester?”

You pat the sofa beside you, watching as he bites his bottom lip. He bows his head in confirmation, then he takes a seat.

“How would your fiance’ feel about you being alone with me?” Sam asks, awaiting the answer with bated breath. He cannot deny his interest in you, especially to himself.

“I believe I told you Brom had proposed, not that I ever accepted.” Looking him over you scoot to the side, making more room. “I would expect more attention to detail from a man of the law, Constable.” “You must call me Sam,” he offers, leaning close to get a better view of the volume you hid away. “You come here to read books which you must hide?” he grins, tilting his head to read the spine of the book in question. “The Knights of the Round Table...isn’t that for children?” “Not everything is as it appears.” You pick up the large book, taking another, smaller volume from inside. “It was my mother’s book. My father frowned at them when they were hers, he would frown at me now. He believes tales of romance caused the brain fever that killed my mother. She died two years ago come midwinter.” Sam nods, “I am very sorry. I saw it written in the front of the family bible.” “The nurse who cared for her during her sickness is the new Lady Van Tassel.” “There was something else too.” Sam can’t stop the investigator inside him. “Why did no one think to mention that Van Garretts are kit and kin to the Van Tassels?”

“Why because there is hardly a household in Sleepy Hollow that is not connected to every other by blood or marriage. I have more cousins than fingers and toes to count them on.” That thought seems to amuse him, cheeks rounding, dimples appearing. “What?”

“Dean is all the family I have the world.” He looks up, his eyes lingering for a moment too long.

A cock crows outside, dawn is coming soon.

“This land was Van Garrett Land, given to my father when I was in swaddling clothes,” you continue, eager to find any reason to keep him with you. Enjoying this sweet moment of privacy. “Given by the dead Van Garrett?” he inquires. “Yes,” you nod. “The Van Garretts were the richest family around these parts even then. When my father brought us to Sleepy Hollow, Van Garrett set him up with an acre, a broken-down cottage, and a dozen Van Garrett hens. My father prospered and built us a new house. I owe my happiness to him. I remember living poor in the cottage. Would you like to see it? I could take you there.” “Yes. I would like to see where you were as poor as I am.” He grins, unnaturally handsome and you want nothing more than to throw yourself at him.

Sam stands to leave and you stand too, revealing the book you had been reading. You give it a final look before handing it to him.

“Take this. It is my gift to you, Sam.” He carefully takes it from you, big hands curling around the spine as he reads the title: A Compendium of Spells, Charms, and Devices of the Spirit World. “I am grateful for the gift, but perhaps you should keep it. I have no use for it.” He steps closer to hand it back. “Are you so certain of everything?” You look at him, purposely holding his stare.

He inspects it, opening the cover and flipping to the back. There’s your name but in different handwriting is also the name Elizabeth Van Tassel.

“This was your mother’s?” He looks up, surprised.

“Keep it close to your heart.” You inch closer, nearer than you should be. “It is sure protection against harm.” His eyes narrow, looking from you to the book. “Are you so certain of everything?” “Almost always…” you whisper, tiling your head toward him like a plant hungry for the sun.

His lips meet yours in a single, longing kiss as his hand curls around your arm. He lingers for a fleeting moment, nuzzling his nose into your cheek before pulling back just enough to look you in the eyes. “I should go. It’s almost dawn and the staff will be waking. Being caught together as day breaks would certainly stir rumors.”

“I’ve never cared what people say about me.” You swim in the feeling of the kiss as he backs away.

“I will see you soon, Y/N.”

Sleepy Hollow Farmland

You and Sam make a pretty picture on horseback, riding slowly toward the ruins of the cottage you lived in as a child.

“I saw the photos on your desk,” you mention casually, watching him ride beside you. “Are they your family?”

“Yes, people I have lost.” He offers you a forced smile, hand tightening around the reigns. “My parents and someone I cared for.”

“A lost love?” you ask gently and he nods. “Did you lose her recently?”

“No, it was ten years ago now. But if I’m honest there are days when it feels as if no time has passed at all.”

“The heart heals slowly. There are days when I forget my mother is gone. Just this morning I had a fleeting thought. I wanted to tell her how excited I was to bring you here, only to remember that she is gone.”

“I know those moments as well.” He slows his horse as you approach the cottage. There’s almost nothing left but the hearth and part of a crumbling chimney.

Sam dismounts, turning to offer you a hand and help you off your horse. There’s a thrill at the feeling of his hands on yours and you’re about to let go when you notice little scars on his palm. You take his hand between your own, running your thumbs over the little dimples.

“These are strange,” you look up to him. “What are they?” “I wish I knew. I’ve had them since I can remember.”

You inspect him for a moment longer, before taking his hand into yours and leading him into the ruins of the cottage. Sam's attention is caught by a red cardinal on a branch, much like the bird he had in New York. He reflects a moment, then turns to watch you crouching by the hearth. You look back at him, threading the stem of a flower into your hair. “I used to play by this hearth. It was my first drawing school and my mother was my teacher.” Unwittingly, you’re mimicking Sam's dream. You pick up a twig and start drawing on the hearthstone, just as his mother did. His blood runs cold but you’re unaware of the effect it’s having on him. Then he notices the few small wildflowers growing in the old fireplace and feels short of breath, leaning against the stones for support. “Oh, look! I'd forgotten this.” You smile. “See, carved into the fire-back, the Archer.” Using your fingers you clean off the dirt around a simple carving of a man with a Bow and Arrow. “This was from long before we lived here.” You look to Sam, who’s pale as a ghost. “Are you alright?” He nods but says nothing. You’re about to press him when you spot the cardinal too.

“Look there!” you point. “They are my favorite. I would love to have a tame one, but I wouldn't have the heart to cage him. “Then I have something for you.” Sam unslings his satchel, watching your face light up. You’re too beautiful and vibrant a creature to be stuck in a dark place like Sleepy Hollow.

It’s a paper disk with a red bird on one side and an empty cage on the other. Both ends of the disk are pierced by a looped string so that the disk can spin and twist. It was his mother’s gift to him many years ago.

“Come here, let me show you.” He steps behind you, indulging as he presses his chest into your back, arms reaching around your waist. You hum to life at the sensation of his large body curled over yours.

“A cardinal on one side, and an empty cage on the other.” You watch with bated breath as he spins the disk. “And now…” Once he moves it fast enough the bird appears to be inside the cage. You’re thrilled and excited, tilting back to look up at him. “You can do magic! Teach me!” “It is not magic. It’s optics,” he chuckles, lowering his mouth to the side of your head, he’s close enough you can feel his breath on your temple. Sam gives you the toy and shows you how to spin it. “Separate pictures which become one when the picture spins. Like the truth which I must spin here.” He steps away, shifting to the side and watching while you spin the disk, the bird appears in the cage. “I may keep it?”

“Of course.” He confirms. “I’d give you anything you asked for to see you smile like this.”

His words send a flush to your cheeks and the disk in your hands is momentarily forgotten as you gaze at the handsome man before you.

“Anything?” you ask coyly.

“Anything.” His stare is unyielding, eyes fixed on yours.

“Another kiss?” you inquire, only to have him swooping down to pull you into his arms and his mouth close over your own. There’s a desperate passion that was not there this morning. This kiss stokes a fire in your belly, fanning the flame that his touch sparked in the sewing room.

You moan softly into his mouth, only to have him take advantage as his tongue slides past your lips, gliding, plunging, delving deeper and deeper until you’re breathless.

Before you know what’s happening his hand is on your stomach, pushing you back until you’re flush with the hearth, trapped between cold stone and the heat of his body. He pulls away with a pop, only to move down your jaw, drawing a breathless mewl from your lungs as he nips and sucks at the skin of your neck.

“Touch me,” you pant, fisting your hands in his hair.

Sam doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s wanted to kiss you, to ravage every inch of you, since the first moment he saw you. It’s a desire that’s only grown with time. He groans against the hot, sweating skin in the crook of your neck as his hand finds its way under your dress.

When his knuckles meet the soft skin of your thighs you gasp in response, pressing forward into his touch. Two fingers brush over the thatch of hair at your sex, scooping forward until he finds warm, wet flesh. You must want him as much as he desires you because you’re thoroughly slick.

“Sam,” you moan, spurring him on as those fingers thrust upward into the tightness of your channel. His thumb goes in search of your delicate pearl, sliding back and forth until you nearly squeal, two hands grabbing at his back confirming he’s found his target.

You can feel him inside you, two thick fingers thrusting in and out as he rubs your bud, bringing a wash of pleasure and wanton lust over every inch of you. You can also hear it, the sound of your sex taking his fingers and then the sensation of his mouth biting across the swell of your breasts.

If Sam had any less self-control he’d throw you to the ground and rip this ridiculous dress right off you. He’d fuck you here in the dirt, but he won’t. A woman as sweet as you deserves things like a bed and mattress.

He can feel it when you cum. You whimper, desperate cunt tightening around his knuckles, little sucking clenches that draw him deeper until you’re boneless in his grasp.

He pulls his hand from between your legs, sullied fingers on your throat as he hooks both hands under your jaw and kisses you again and again, swallowing every gasp and sigh until you’re lost in his mouth and his touch.

You spend the better part of the morning enthralled with each other, gentle touches and passionate kisses until the sun rises high overhead and you have no choice but to return home.

#sam winchester smut #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester au

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terryblount · 5 years

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Control Review

What is Control? What makes Control different from other Remedy games? What does it mean to control? Is controlling enjoyable or just another meaningless task. Would you dare to control? Do you like power over others? Do you believe in destiny? Would you attempt to kill yourself for answers or power? Well… Remedy did and they’ve done it gloriously. So did I and so will you. It’s the only way through.

You are a worm though time. The thunder song distorts you. Happiness comes. White pearls, but yellow and red in the eye. Through a mirror, inverted is made right. Leave your insides by the door. Push the fingers through the surface into the wet. You’ve always been the new you. You want this to be true. We stand around while you dream. You can almost hear our words but you forget. This happens more and more now. You gave us the permission in your regulations. We wait in the stains. The word that describes this is redacted. Repeat the word. The name of the sound. It resonates in your house. After the song, time for applause. We build you till nothing remains. The egg cracks and the truth will emerge out of you. You are home. You remind us of home. You’ve taken your boss with your boss with you. All hair must be eaten. Under the conceptual reality behind this reality you must want these waves to drag you away. After the song, time for applause. This cliché is death out of time, breaking the first the second the third the fourth wall, fifth wall, floor; no floor: you fall! How do you say “insane”? Hurts to be happy. An ear worm is a tune you can’t stop humming in a dream: “baby baby baby yeah”. Just plastic. So, safe and nothing to worry about. Ha ha, funny. The last egg breaks now. The hole in your room is a hole in you. You came and we let you in through the hole in you. You have always been here, the only child. A copy of a copy of a copy. Orange peel. The picture is you holding the picture. When you hear this you will know you’re in new you. You want to listen. You want to dream. You want to smile. You want to hurt. You don’t want to be.

Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Control, hold on to your hats, this ride is gonna be nuts!

Story-telling for the Mentally Insane

Before I explain what the hell is going on with the psycho bumble above, let me throw some story over you. You play as Jesse Faden, who visits a building – named “The Oldest House” – of the Federal Bureau of Control (F.B.C.). Soon after your arrival, you find the Bureau director dead with the murder weapon right beside him. Instead of running out of the room in panic, Jesse picks the “service weapon” and attempts to blow her brains out. Instead of the weapon killing her, however, she becomes the director. Just like that Jesse Faden is the newly appointed director of the F.B.C. and all the hanging portraits of the director are swapped with her face.

“They call me the director, but that’s not me.”

Jess after everyone accepts her naturally as the new director.

If you guys played any of Remedy’s games before, you should know how it tends to create complex stories. This time, the story of its latest game even more complicated. Actually… it’s bat shit crazy. My favorite game is probably Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne and, in my opinion, the Max Payne games changed the third-person shooter landscape. Alan Wake was also pretty damn good; I loved its combat mechanics and its story was engaging. As for Quantum Break, there is only one thing to say… “mediocre” (insert Immortal Joe’s voice from Mad Max).

Only in this building an astray can be deadlier than a cigarette. Unless of course Riddick holds that astray.

The SCP Foundation

None of these stories can even scratch the story and lore of Control, which are balls to the wall insane. Control’s story is heavily inspired by the SCP Foundation (Secure, Contain, Protect). If you got some time to spend you should read some of their stuff as they are quite good. Basically “The SCP Foundation is a fictional organization documented by the web-based collaborative-fiction project of the same name”. The amount of stories is crazy and many of these little stories are exceptionally good.

When you are lost in the darkness, look for the light. It will guide you back, probably.

Jesse Faden the New Director of the Nuthouse

Jesse Faden is the only playable character, unfortunately, and let me tell you she is not that interesting. The voice actress is perfectly fine but her performance did not convince me, at all. Jesse has a very basic backstory and nothing in that story is convincing enough to make me believe how cool she is, especially when faced with the unknown scary and insane world she is in. In my opinion, she should be losing her mind from the second she arrived at the Bureau.

“A carousel horse, why kids stuff always so creepy?”

Jess trying to make sense of what the hell she’s actually seeing.

As I said, everything in “The Oldest House” is completely bonkers and Jesse’s behavior seems completely out of place. No sane person would react so logically in a situation like this. Do you remember Alan Wake? That guy was losing his marbles, as he should, in an incident which – compared to Control – feels like a walk in the park. Still, there were some rare and specific occasions when Jesse expressed her feelings by simply saying a “what the fuck”. Unfortunately, these parts are late in the game and also completely optional, so my point still stands.

What?!

Visuals & Controls

In case you don’t already know, I care very little about a game’s visuals. Thankfully John has already posted his performance analysis so I don’t really have to go into more technical details. I’ll just say that the game performs great on my system and that it looks pretty. I do not own an RTX card so I cannot comment on the ray tracing effects. But anyway, I had stable 60fps with everything on high and a couple of options like reflections on medium. I lowered those settings only because the visual difference did not justify the performance hit. Many players have reported several issues with the game, however it appears that I was lucky. The only issues I encountered was a teleport (which is not an obtainable skill) bug and an infinite loading screen, and both of them occurred only once.

Thankfully, the game’s controls were great. Imagine if a game called Control controlled badly. With a bit of remapping it plays wonderfully but why on God’s green earth there is no key for walking? Why oh why Remedy? An area movement restriction in specific locations, where you can bypass it with the sprint key, would be enough. Lastly, it’s unbelievable that there are no settings for motion blur and depth of field. Seriously now?

Hello Kevin! Ha ha ha! Seriously the lighting is amazing.

Audio, Music & Facial Animation

The audio in Control is superb on every level, and all sound effects have been masterfully implemented. Hell, I did not even get the usual audio glitches which I usually get from games by using earphones. The in-game music is minimal as you can only listen to music through radios or in a very specific room. There is only one scripted sequence with music and all the rest is ambient sounds with some very basic music tracks during fights. The voice acting is pretty good; not great, but good enough. Most of the voice actors are pretty convincing with some exceptions. One of these exception is Jesse; I really don’t like Jesse as I explained before. I like the facial animations overall but there were some dialogues, especially at the beginning, that didn’t impress me. On the other hand, Remedy emphasized Jesse’s lip movement to stand out, which looked really nice.

The Heart of the Game

The gameplay in Control is so – god – damn – good. Seriously, these kind of games are very rare these days. The only ones that come to my mind are Second Sight and, of course, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Those games did psychic powers justice but they got nothing on Control. Control is all about the gameplay, as all games should.

Is that an 8inch floppy disk? God damn I’m old. In case you didn’t know all videos in game are live-action. That’s how you utilize live-action footage. Do you hear me Quantum Break?

Mental Abilities & Destruction

You start with some basic abilities and along the way you get more and more (obviously by completing missions). There are several psychic abilities and some of them have secondary functions. The game features five such abilities; telekinesis, mind control, barrier (shield), melee (force push) and levitation. For example you can unlock an ability that lets you control two minds at the same time or move larger object like forklifts. You can literally grab and throw almost everything you see in the environment and even if there is nothing around you can still rip a concrete junk from the environment and throw it to someone’s face. It is so much fun. Now if I had to choose one power, that would be levitation. I loved levitating above the battlefield and raining destruction upon my enemies; it felt so satisfying. There is also a dash/evade ability (no roll thank god) but, sadly, it is not upgradable.

“Quack if you understand my words.”

Random Bureau agent contacting an interview with a subject.

Now regarding destruction… holy crap, it’s phenomenal. These might be the best destruction mechanics I have ever seen in a single player game. You can literally destroy almost everything and most destroyed objects stay there until you leave the area (something you rarely see in other games). Unfortunately, the bodies do disappear, however they disappear in a cool way. They do not vanish in a lame way as in other games, like Mass Effect: Andromeda for example. The bodies, kind of, evaporate and there is a believable reason behind that phenomenon. To be honest, I’d prefer if they stayed because without them you lose the feeling of success. At least the destroyed environments are still there to remind you what just happened.

Almost everything you break, stays broken. Even when you rip pieces from the floor.

Something I really loved in Control was dashing and watching everything around Jess getting pushed or destroyed by the “movement force“. When you hold an object with telekinesis you can see little pieces of the environment getting pulled in by the telekinesis force, which is super cool. Same goes for when levitating close to objects or structures.

The “Service Weapon”

Regarding the game’s arsenal, there is only one weapon and it is kinda of overkill since Jesse is already a weapon of annihilation. The “Service Weapon”, as it is called, is an Item of Power. These Items can only be used by specific individuals, like the director of the Bureau. Any other person who attempts to interact with such an item will most probably seize to exist in an instant. In the beginning, the weapon acts as a revolver. As you progress, though, you can give it other weapon forms with different characteristics.

“Yes yes, easy peasy!”

Ahti the janitor before sending Jess to lift the lock-down.

Just like the upgradable powers, the Service Weapon has five different forms; revolver, shotgun, machine gun, rifle and grenade launcher. While I tried all of them, I eventually settled on the machine gun and shotgun. Like I said, all of these are upgradable through weapon modifications and by crafting better versions of them. As such, the grenade launcher – for example – can be modified to have larger blast radius for instance. All mods have rarity levels and can be found in the game world. You can also craft mods but they are very expensive in rare resources and the same resources are used for upgrading the weapons.

Shooting Mechanics, Movement & Cover

If there is shooting involved, I always prefer playing in FPP (first person perspective). I am not a great fan of third person shooters, unless of course they are actually good. Thankfully, Control excels on this area, especially when there is no cover and the game pushes you to move around. All guns feel great and unique in terms of handling. If there was something I did not like, it was the shoulder swap; it’s different than what other games do and, unfortunately, it’s not that good. Still, and since this is not a slow paced shooter, I rarely used. And while there isn’t any cover system, you can still take cover and crouch behind things (you cannot “hug” a wall like Gears of War though).

I’ll give this guy the silver medal for his death expression, the gold was given to the guy with the busted radio in Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Standing still is not advisable, something that is also hinted during the loading screen tips. Enemies will rush you and they will use explosives in order to make you leg it. Of course you can play the game as you please. Personally, I used every tool in my disposal and tried to mix different powers which sometimes left me astound. The flow of the combat is amazing as you can shoot an enemy, dash and melee him, levitate and power slam to another, throw a forklift to someone else and use the shield to get some distance while you regain energy. All of these feel natural and blend in amazingly. Hats off to the people responsible for this combat system.

Perfect Balance with No Restrictions

Control does not have any ammunition for your weapon. Instead, every type of weapon has a fixed number of shots. The weapon recharges while not in use and if you use all shots there a slight time penalty (reloading). Same goes for your powers; there is only an energy gauge and nothing more. Just like the weapons, the energy bar replenishes while not using them and there is also a time penalty for using all your energy. The game is forcing you (in a good way) to use both your powers and weapons, without making it impossible to do as you please.

This is how the area map looks like. It can be confusing at the beginning, but you can open it while on the move.

Location (s), Exploration & Collectibles

There is only one location, “The Oldest House”. From start to finish you will be confined in that building. Of course this building is gigantic and you will venture into many different areas, where in many of them the rules of physics make no sense whatsoever. This might make the game a bit monotonous for some people but I did not mind that at all.

“I never liked flamingos, too..pink.”

Jess before facing the..latest pink epidemic

Exploring the federal building is fun and rewarding, even if the game never forces you to do so. There are tons of stuff to find and many of these are cleverly hidden away. There are even hidden places filled with easter eggs. You can find many collectibles that will give you a better insight into the game’s lore and you should probably read these if you want to understand what is going on. After all, the story is not straight forward and can be very complicated at times. Quite frankly these might be some of the most interesting collectibles I have ever read. I usually don’t like reading stuff when playing a game as I prefer something like audio logs. However, all it takes in Control is to read a couple of the documents; after that you will probably be hooked.

Side Missions, Enemies & A.I.

There are three types of side missions: missions given by specific characters, missions found by picking collectibles and time based missions with a random objective. None of these missions are mandatory; most of these missions are pretty basic, however, they give you the chance to obtain valuable resources. I did them all just because I couldn’t get enough of the combat. Now if you don’t fancy that, you can simply rush forward and only do the main missions. If you choose not to complete some of the side missions you might lose some important stuff. Some of these missions even hide a boss battle and believe me you will want to meet these “bosses”.

This is probably the creepiest thing I ever seen in a video game lately. Seriously it gave me goosebumps again while I was typing this. By the way this video was meant for children.

Speaking of bosses there are not many; if I remember correctly you only face one true boss in the main story but I do not want to give more details as we’ll be entering a “spoilers” area. The regular enemy (HISS) variation is not bad, but it could definitely be better. There is even one enemy who I did not manage to destroy no matter how hard I tried.

“Do you feel it? Something is coming.”

Jess getting the “feeling” while she walk into a dark corridor.

Remember that paranoid second paragraph of the review? Well, there are people floating all over the place, chanting that incantation all the frigging time. And I loved it. If you shoot they will stop for a second. If you shoot them, they will disappear but they will eventually re-appear. Whoever thought of that has my respect, because it changes the perspective and feeling of each room.

It think I run into Criss Angel’s family.

Unfortunately, the A.I. is nothing special. You can lure enemies in a corridor or you can bait them through corners. The A.I. is designed to challenge you when you are on the move. When things work as intended, the combat feels great. Still, the A. I. could be way more advanced than what we got.

Control

I will be honest; I adored this game even though it is not perfect. Jesse is totally unlikeable… at least until the very end. The voice acting is not always great and the facial animations of Jesse lack emotion, especially you compare them to Emily’s (except the first time you meet her; she is a bit creepy and not the good kind of creepy).

This is Emily and we really like her. We wish we could play her instead of Jesse.

The map is very Metroidvania and may not be very accessible to people that are not familiar with these type of games. There is also backtracking and I know that some of you hate that. Still, the good news here is that there is a fast travel mechanic. Moreover, you cannot manually save as the game saves automatically and every time you die you have to start over from the last checkpoint, which might be troublesome for some players. Lastly there is no difficulty levels and the game can be a bit hard at some points, especially if you haven’t upgraded your powers and weapons. On a side note, I would really love if they added a new game+ mode with increased difficulty in a future patch.

“Finally! No more quacking.”

Jess after she’s done with..it.

There are several things I did not fully explain or even mentioned in this review in order to avoid spoilers. There are many parts of the game that will probably surprise you or even leave you speechless, so I don’t want to take that away from you.

I also don’t know if you guys watched the promotional videos of the game but most gameplay videos did not represent the actual quality of the final game. My initial thought before playing the game was “god damn it this is gonna suck”. However, I am glad I was wrong because Control might be the best Remedy game to date.

Awesome weapon designs

Hundreds of collectables

Fitting music and sounds

Memorable boss battles

Superb psychic powers

Fluent combat system

Destruction & physics

Hours of exploration

Great performance

Compelling story

Interesting lore

Level design

Unlikable Protagonist

No difficulty setting

Some backtracking

No manual save

Map design

Exclusivity

Computer Specs: CPU: i5 4440, GPU: Palit 1660Ti OC 6GB, RAM: G.Skill Ripjaws X 16GB HDD: Crucial 275GB MX300, OS: Win7, 1080p

Playtime: 20+ hours total. That’s a guess by the way, since Epic’s launcher has no timer.

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