#But I stopped thinking that way after like the 4th tattoo I got in general. No names or anything silly of course but fuck it we ball y'know

[iero]

Been on such a Scream movie series binge watch since last night and it genuinely makes me want to get a Ghostface tat so fucking bad...

#personal #It's so weird to me that I don't have a Halloween/horror movie themed tat at this point. #<- Unless you count my Eddie ST bats which I... don't LMAO #This is one of those moments where I SHOULD stop and think to myself 'Okay. It's gonna be on your body forever. Do you really want that?' #But I stopped thinking that way after like the 4th tattoo I got in general. No names or anything silly of course but fuck it we ball y'know

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #138

What was the last heavy thing you lifted? By MY unhealthy standards, a small toolbox. I rode with Mom to Nicole's house to fix her sink, and it's what Mom brought along and she needed help carrying things inside (we brought our dog with us, so she had to take her carrier).

Is July an important month for you? My sister Katie was born on the 4th actually, but generally, no. I honestly hate July, it's too fucking hot.

If someone looked inside your mind right now, what would they find? honestly right now they probably wouldn't know what the fuck they're looking at lmfao

Are you good at reading body language? I'm honestly probably hyper-observant of it, to where I see meanings that aren't actually there.

Do you have an anchor tattoo? Would you ever get one? No to both.

What is something that is creepy to you? Facebook/socials stalking people you like came to my mind, idk that's just going too far to me. Like sure if you meet someone you're interested in and want a bit more info, hell, it's probably even safe to check things out once, but digging for miles and checking obsessively just isn't healthy imo.

What do you need right now? I thought about it, but I don't wanna go here right now.

What do you consider to be cruel? Besides the extremely obvious things that basically everyone can agree on, trophy hunting. Like I immediately hate your fucking guts if you go out and murder a living creature going about its peaceful life JUST for the fun of it and to mount their dead heads on your walls and shit. Hunting for food doesn't bother me (like, that deer you killed almost ABSOLUTELY had a better life than the countless livestock forced into nightmarish existences that we accept as "normal"), but even then, I think it should be done solemnly and without gloating, and immense gratefulness for that animal's completely unwilling sacrifice.

Do you love to daydream? Yes, probably to a fault.

What’s your favorite shade of yellow? I'm really not a big fan of yellow, it's one of my least favorite colors, but I guess I'll go with amber, that I do like.

Has anyone told you to calm down recently? lol no, I think the people who know me know that it's not that fucking simple, and I would get legitimately pissed off if someone said this to me as someone with chronic, severe anxiety problems.

When did you last panic? I don't want to talk about this.

Are you currently tired? Yes. I got just about no fucking sleep last night and it really pisses me off because I was going to help Mom with the kids today, especially because Ryder gets really disappointed when I'm not there and I already wasn't last week, but there was no way in hell I was getting up early enough this morning. I just texted my mom at like, 2 AM or some shit telling her to let me sleep.

What helps you get by? My mom, Girt, Mazzy, Tez, Girt's family and to some extent mine, medication, therapy, creative expression, being stubborn.

When did you last wear a mask? It's been a few weeks, most places I go to now have stopped mandating it.

Does it hurt you when others are rude for no reason? Yes, because I'm sensitive as shit.

If you could say anything to your father right now, what would it be? WOW what timing, I just messaged him happy birthday lol but I'd love to tell him that in person.

What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? Probably around like, 75mph accidentally on the highway.

When did it last rain? Today; it's been going on and off. It was absolutely pouring earlier.

Have you ever been admitted to a hospital? Like 6 or so times, but never for physical issues, just mental. I woulda preferred the physical shit.

Has anyone blamed you for something you didn’t do? I don't know if she meant for it to come across as straight-up blame, but it absolutely did: in the message Sara sent me after I cut our friendship off, she decided it was a great idea to phrase herself VERY MUCH SO in a way that makes it sound like she blamed me for almost attempting suicide. Don't get me FUCKING started on this topic, I take exactly 0% fault for shit that she decides to do when it's not like I fucking bullied her or something, but I still think about it sometimes anyway.

How much is gasoline where you are? I haven't been paying attention, but a google search tells me the cheapest right now in my county is $3.27.

How are you doing today? Not great, but way more numb today than I've been the past few.

What is the last song you listened to in a car? It was "Zeig dich" by Rammstein. I'm surprised I remember, I generally don't when surveys ask this, lol.

Do you currently feel calm? No.

Are you good at making new friends? No, I'm too shy. It's easier online, but I still don't like reaching out.

Are there any important things happening this week? Sunday my sisters and I are having lunch with Dad and his wife for his birthday, and I also obviously have PT this week, and I think therapy (thank fucking god) too.

If comfortable answering, have you or would you ever be admitted into a mental hospital? Already said earlier that I have been, but the last part of this question is very inaccurate and misleading; involuntary commitment exists and has happened to me, like you don't GET to choose. You can get a lawyer to shorten your stay, but you're going to the mental hospital anyway.

What’s a color you think is underrated? Uh... I don't really know. OH, maybe green, like nature-y shades? I think green's a less popular color, but the shades that remind you of being outside, like mossy, seafoam, or forest greens, c'mon, they're fantastic.

Would you rather never be sick again or be rich? uh, BE RICH???????? Do you know how much good that would do?????????????

When did you last hear thunder? Today.

What all have you put in the trash today? Uh the lid that seals the top of the meal replacement shakes I drink, but the bottle itself went in the recycling bin, and I also put cans of the flavored water I drink in there.

Do you enjoy blueberry muffins? omg yes, I LOVE these.

What’s something you will never forget? The night of the breakup with Jason.

What’s the most bitter pill you’ve ever taken? Uh I'm just gonna take this literally, in which case I think Lamictal, a med I was on for a long time. It's a big pill and it regularly would hit the roof of my mouth, and on god when that shit happens, you want to DIE afterwards because of the taste it leaves.

What is a popular TV show or movie that you do not like? Years ago, Girt and I watched the original three Star Wars movies, and neither of us got the appeal like, at all. Whatsoever. Unrelated to my opinion of the films but do y'all know how SHOCKED I was to hear Yoda's voice for the first time like THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”? I don't share information like this man anyway literally yesterday

What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? Shockingly, I don't like energy drinks; they're just way too sweet for me, and when a drink is too sweet for ME, that says something.

Would you have kids with the last person you kissed? Maybe someday, idk.

Would you mind living near large predatory animals? Yeah sure, idc. We live in an area where black bears exist, but they are VERY rare to see in this county.

What’s your biggest priority right now? Honestly I kinda think getting a job has officially outrun my attention to improving my mental health. Maybe. Idk. I'm just desperate.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? Well, because I was only ever in the ER overnight for suicidal reasons, my options were extremely limited; I was only sometimes allowed a book, and it had to be approved by the staff. Usually I just slept, or tried to anyway, because their beds are ABSOLUTE and utter shit. They really need to give you more options, like the most insane I've ever felt was during those long ER stays where I was just kept in this small room with nothing to do like some neglected animal. It does NOT help your mental state; it only ever made it worse.

Are your hands unsteady? Yeah, I have what's called essential tremors. I feel like they've improved, though, especially the less medicated I am.

Do you think you’re pretty? No. It's insane, I've always thought of myself as ugly, since literal childhood, but where I am now in life, I'd give anything to look like how I did as a teenager again.

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook? This was accidentally the case with Jason; I thought he was a different Jason that I actually did somewhat know. Y'know I never asked how he ever even found my name + account lol, according to him he just saw me in the school hall one day and was immediately like "yup I need to know her," lol wish you hadn't bro

Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad.

Who do you know that wears the most makeup? Probably my friend Summer, but I want to make it abundantly clear that this should not be seen as a bad thing. She's a very talented cosmetologist and makeup just makes her happy.

Have you ever been tied up? No.

Are you anyone’s first love? I don't know. I used to think that was the case with Sara, but to be honest, I don't think she really romantically loved me.

If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? By middle school, we had different teachers for each subject, so.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Girt.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? I'm certain Jason did and I'm pretty sure Girt has.

Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer that boys/men do whatever the fuck they want with their own body, I literally have no opinion. People who treat body hair like it's disgusting and/or uncleanly are due to grow the fuck up.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? She knows I've done things, but what those "things" are I've never shared. She knows I'm a virgin + why.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? LMAO YES, Girt and I do this so much and were last night too.

Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? No.

When was the last time you went to an ice cream parlor? What kind of ice cream did you get? Oh wow you just unlocked a memory I forgot I had, it woulda been when I visited Sara, I think the last time. Her dad took us and I think her youngest brother to this local place that they love, despite it being fucking freezing lol, but it's never too cold for ice cream. I don't remember what I got, but they had a ginormous amount of options to mix together.

Did you go to school with anyone named Ashley? What was that person like? Well in high school my older sister Ashley was briefly there while I was, and back then she was very independent, studious, ambitious, but also very reclusive; she didn't leave her room a lot and when she did, it was usually to go somewhere. Back then she was also the kind that couldn't leave the house without makeup, and it always broke my heart, like my sister has always been gorgeous. Thankfully she's WAY past that now.

What color is the vehicle that you travel in most often? White.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? When was the last time you saw them? I have a shitload if you include my half-siblings, but I only regularly see Ashley's three kids. I saw them like... two weeks ago? I have a nephew by my brother that I haven't met yet, which sucks. Actually Katie also has a kid or maybe even two that I haven't met. Your family being strewn about all over the country fucking sucks.

Do you know the story of how your grandparents met? No, for neither pair of them.

Do you have a relative or close friend named Peter? When was the last time you saw that person? I actually don't think I know a single Peter.

Have you ever had an ex who wanted to get back together? What did you say to them? Well, I guess Girt. He said yes when I asked him back out, so he was obviously up for it.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

[thekrazykeke]

See You Again [2]

Fandom(s): Tokyo Ghoul

Relationship(s): Uta & reader.

Summary: in the sound of silence, we found sanctuary. in every word unspoken, love.

Warning(s): Angst, unspoken feelings. Pre-canon events but also very ambiguous timeline-wise. Disturbing mental imagery. Canon typical gore.

This little series was never meant to have a happy ending, so no screaming at me. I’ll accept your appreciation for my love of angst in reblogs, likes, comments or tears. 

Seriously though, in all honesty, I hurt myself as I wrote this. 

I dunno, I might indulge that impulsive urge of mine and write a one shot where they actually get together. Most likely not though, so no one hold their breath ahahaha.

[i.]

~

A smart person would never have returned to the little out of the way mask shop in the 4th Ward. You’d have chalked up the experience as weird and as common sense dictated, forgotten all about it. 

That is the safer route, the sane option.

So of course, you decided to be stupid. You kept coming back to the shop, although you were careful with how you planned your visits, spacing them out in between sight seeing and being a general tourist. 

The added bonus of your frequent visits being that although Uta’s face didn’t really change much expression-wise, you got the feeling that he was always a little surprised to see you.

“Do you really like it here that much?” 

Pulling the oni mask away from your face, you glanced at Uta who stood a good distance away from you, hand in pocket, hip cocked against the edge of the counter. “What’s that now?”

“I said, ‘do you really like it here that much?’” Uta repeated himself, red on black eyes intently trained on your face. “This is the second time this week you’ve come by without buying anything.”

“Oof.” You exaggeratedly clutched at your chest. “That hurt, Uta-san. With how frequently I come by here, one would think you’d treat me as more than a customer. We’re friends now.”

“We’re not.”

The words are stated so bluntly and again, you clutch at your chest, miming being struck by an arrow. Uta didn’t respond to your joking around and playing, just stared at you. So, you cut the crap, reaching into your back pocket with a mock pout. “How much for this mask? I think it suits me.”

“10504.50 yen.” At the sight of your suddenly wide eyes and dropped jaw, Uta’s blank expression cracked, he smiled slightly and just for a split second. “Also, the mask doesn’t suit you.”

You turned your back to him, carefully returning the oni mask to the display it’d been set up on. The next second you turned around, you nearly jumped out of your skin at how close Uta is now. “Hey now! Shit, you need a bell or something.”

“It’s not my fault you don’t pay attention.” 

You can’t even pull off your comedic routine and drop your head in an ‘ashamed’ manner because you’d probably most likely hit your head against his chest, he’s standing that close. Before you could ask him to either back up and inquire what was his reason for being in your personal space, a tattooed finger reached out, lightly touching your chin, encouraging you to look up, so that’s what you did.

“...I can create a mask for you. Something that suits you.” He’s now adjusting your face, the faintest touch causing you to move this way and that. 

“Aww! That’s nice of you, Uta-sa-”

“The base color would be silver, perhaps. And the eyes would sewn shut, the better to hide your grief and... the anger.” He’s musing aloud, words quiet and almost a whisper, but you heard him. Part of you think it’s deliberate, that he’s making fun of you, mocking you.

And it worked. 

You reached a hand up, setting it upon his wrist. Uta blinked, staring down at your hand, then his unique gaze switched to you, and he.... for a lack of better words, it’s like he snapped out of that artist’s mode. He dropped his hand and took one step out of your personal bubble then another and another before whirling around and started walking away. 

He lifted a hand in farewell, waving it about in a sort of shooing manner.

“Come back again in two to three weeks.”

That should have been the end of you and his interactions. 

Regardless of how intriguing he is, he’d pressed on one of your triggers, maybe even on purpose, and you already had too short of a life to put up with the bullshit. Then again, maybe it was for that reason entirely that you decided that you were gonna keep seeing him, even after he finished the mask, to annoy him to death of course.

Until he told you upfront to go away, you wouldn’t. That’s what you decided.

And with that resolution settled in your head, you could go about your business. You enjoyed the sights, the food, and although your judgement said it’d be a bad idea, you had a couple of one night stands. The first is a lawyer that you’re like pretty sure has kids and a wife, and the other is a stressed college kid. 

The experience left you unsatisfied and irritated. 

Since your last encounter with Uta had been...awkward and strained, you decided to bring a peace offering. Cream puffs for yourself with green tea and a cup of black coffee for him. You’d picked up on the fact that he liked the beverage without sugar and cream like the total heathen he is. You idly wondered if he even enjoyed sweet things or maybe he was one of those weird folks who liked sour and spicy stuff all the time.

The fact that you’re even thinking about this and it didn’t sink in as odd or out of place until the moment you crossed the threshold of HYSY Studios, taking note of the fact that the place is as gloomy and empty of customers as always. 

“’Ey! Uta, where you at!?” 

There’s a vibration against your leg. You juggle the items in your hold carefully before tugging out your cellphone and entering the passcode to unlock the phone. The most recent text message you’d received from Uta about four minutes ago informed you of the fact that he’s in the back of the studio, like the very, very back, where all the unused and returned masks were. Now the only reason you knew all this information is because of how often you pestered Uta about it. 

You’re at an impasse. 

You could do as he asked and bring your treat to him while you were at it or you could wait and avoid the potential jump scare that Uta was totally capable of inflicting upon you. 

‘To go or not to go, that is the question.’ 

Everything pointed to the clear conclusion that no, you absolutely should not go back there. Every horror movie cliché ended with the female protagonist being killed or gravely injured because she was so stupid as to go in the dark, alone, by herself. 

‘Uta isn’t a killer though.’ That’s what you tried to tell yourself, the argument weak and pitiful in your brain. 

You did not know this man well enough to be in the back where it wouldn’t be easy access to the front door, where you couldn’t bolt if he did something strange. However, you did own a mini taser and always carried mace, just as a precaution, so... 

So....

Slowly, reluctantly, you did as he instructed, every warning and life training you’d received up to this point in your life sending out red neon signs telling you to wait, not be an idiot, to please please stay where you are. And you ignored all those survival instincts, heading deeper into the studio, your footfalls loud and eerie the further in you went. 

Until you find him. 

He’s apparently unfazed by your belated presence, focus wholly consumed with his work. Red on black eyes glanced at you for but a moment and what you carried and then at the coffee. “There’s a mini fridge, leave everything there, except the coffee. I’m almost done.” 

Having some mild experience with artists and creative sorts, you avoid looking at the mask he’s working on, instead setting down the coffee in an empty space he vaguely gestured to. 

Then you walk the short distance to where the only mini fridge in the room is, reaching out, you pull it open. And it’s the scent that alerts you; the fresh tang of blood. It’s too late to stop yourself and you see it, everything. The jar of eyeballs, the carefully wrapped packages of ‘meat’. 

‘I’m in a back room with the potential copycat Jeffery Dahmer or...or....’ 

You’re not an idiot, all these little things you’d casually dismissed because you hadn’t cared enough to pay attention, to see... And now here you are. Here you are. 

Fuck.

Swallowing, you calm and dampen the inner voice sCREAMING, then casually as possible, grip wobbling only slightly, do you put your treat inside the mini fridge right alongside the human body parts and flesh, then close the door, turning around. 

Uta is still hard at work on the mask but his movements are slowing down.

As if nothing is amiss, you stride over just as he finally pauses to take a sip of coffee. “This is one of the ways that you make masks. Really. That’s interesting…” And you meant it too. Legs crossed, you leaned against the table, watching the mask maker in his element.

He smiles at you in that enigmatic way. “Thank you.” 

The visit continues without much else in the way of incidents and subtly unsubtle revelations. 

You don’t really talk and Uta doesn’t make you. 

Less than twenty minutes later, once he deems the mask complete, he stands up and stretches, arms raising overhead, revealing an expanse of creamy, pale, lean and muscled torso. 

Glancing away a beat too late, you catch Uta as he smiles, again, the smile lengthens into a smirk. He reaches out and plucks up the half mask delicately, taking a step towards you and your heart traitorously lurches in your chest. 

Self-preservation makes you want to run as he comes closer, closer, closer...

Logic keeps you rooted in place as he carefully puts the mask on you. Tattooed fingers brush the strands of hair away from the nape of your neck, lingering as he feels the flutter of your pulse beneath his fingertips. 

“Your heart is racing like a hummingbird.” he muses. You stare out at him from beneath the safety of the mask, the bone surprisingly not pinching or cutting your skin. “And here I thought nothing could scare you.”

“Unfortunately fear makes up the majority of the human psyche.” You can’t help the quip, tone dry. “But you’re my friend, so it’s fine.” 

That last comment causes Uta to blink and stare at you in blatant surprise for a minute or two. Then he pulls himself together and shakes his head, a chuckle rumbling through his chest. “...I suppose we are friends.”

“Cool. So how much for the mask?” You reach up, about to remove it but Uta swatted at your hands, the action hard enough to sting but not leave damage. You still squawk indignantly anyway.

“It’s free. Creating it got me out of my block, so thank you.” Bringing out a cellphone, he takes a couple pictures with you, making you turn, pose, and pretty much just show off. 

Once he’s done, he snags your tea and cream puffs out the fridge, then walks you to the front of the studio, giving a small wave goodbye. Brain swimming with what you just learned, amazed that he hadn’t just killed you straight off, you glance at the chilled green tea in your hand then after mentally shrugging to yourself, you take a sip and shove a cream puff in your mouth. 

Hell, after the day you’ve had, you deserve to be rewarded.

Time passes, as it inevitably does. 

You receive more calls from Kiani, from other friends and family members, but you are resolute in staying in Japan. 

Much to your surprise, you’d actually gotten comfortable being there. Though that might have had something to do with Uta, who you continue to visit, and if he’s surprised or put out, none of that shows on his face. It’s fun to drag him places, to be around him, and you can laugh at his jokes, even the deadpan, making-fun-of-humanity ones. 

He even lets you meet his other ghoul friends, Itori and Renji. 

Through it all, these changes and fun things, your health slowly, steadily, gets worse even as you and Uta get closer, muddling about in a rather confusing grey area of friends...and more...

As always, the two of you are hanging out, this time you’d dragged him to an amusement park, and he held onto some of the prizes you won, gamely snapped a couple photos of you in ridiculous poses and making silly faces, etc. 

It felt like a date.

Like, you’re returning from a date.

When that thought ran through your brain, you automatically looked at Uta, catching sight of his profile in the light of the setting sun and your heart clenched as you realized that he’s beautiful. 

It’s with difficulty that you manage to look away but not before he catches you staring from the corner of his eye. “You’re always looking at me… Yet, you never try and get closer…” Uta’s hands are in his pockets and he is barely a foot away. “Does fear keep you at a distance…” He took a step forward. 

Coming almost uncomfortably close. 

“Or is there another….” 

Without conscious thought, you tilt your head up and your lips meet his. 

The contact is light, barely a graze, and there’s the cool sensation of his lip ring...it’s odd but hardly distracting. Your heart is beating like a jack rabbit in your chest and you know this isn’t good for you.

 As you go to pull away, to disconnect, that’s when Uta finally, finally, responds.

He places a hand on the back of your neck, keeping you close before tilting his head, leaned in and kissed you again. 

There’s nothing teasing or patient about it. He nipped your bottom lip, barely waiting for you to part your lips before his tongue twined and stroked, expertly playing with your own, and you felt a zing of excitement travel down you spine as your tongue lightly grazed his tongue ring. 

Your right hand goes to his shoulder, squeezing, holding on desperately as your legs threaten to give out. 

Effortlessly, Uta holds you up, his other hand going to the dip of your back, and when you break the kiss to get some air into your burning lungs, Uta peppers feather light kisses down the column of your throat, sucking a spot just behind your ear. Only when you gasp his name, a mere whisper of a breath really, only then, does he finally stop.

Uta tops that....bombardment off with a light kiss to your forehead, lingering. Then he murmurs into your ear, “That’s how you kiss me from now on.” 

With his piece said, as if he hadn’t pretty much swept you off your feet and left you stuck in LaLa Land, Uta brushed a hand down his shirt, straightening out imaginary wrinkles, before he walked away. It took a few seconds for your brain to reboot and then you hurried after him, chastising him for being mean.

There are a hundred different words that lingered on the edge and never escape your mouth. A thousand questions you never got the answer to. 

There are no more kisses between you and Uta. 

You pass away in your sleep that night December 31, 2XXX at 11:59 P.M. alone in your rented hotel room, dreaming of an impossible reality; of happiness between yourself and the ghoul who for a brief moment, made you feel important, seen, and desired. 

Almost as if he could love you.

#uta #tokyo ghoul #uta imagine #black reader #uta tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul imagine #uta x reader #tg #human reader #tg imagine #thekrazykeke

[godsofhumanity]

GODHUNTER by AMY SUMIDA | REVIEW

okiee this was recommended to me by @inkleaves ^-^ uhmm so i have a LOT to say about this book. spoilers under cut.

OVERVIEW: “Godhunter” is the epithet given to a young woman named Vervain who uses witchcraft and magic to go around committing deicide in order to save humanity from gods who drain their energy to gain immortality and other godly attributes. However, when Vervain is recruited by the Norse god Thor, she finds herself in an alliance with the people she originally considered her enemies, as they work together to save the world from the maliciousness of the Aztec god, Huitzilopochtli.

RATING: 2/10. i’m giving it a low rating because it doesn’t really have too much to do with mythology, but i did like its general portrayal of most deities even though this book was insanely cringey and dumb.. now, even though under the cut, i’ve kinda bashed the book quite a bit, i still have to admit that i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have fun reading it. i stayed up to 1 AM trying to finish it because i had to find out what the protag’s next stupid decision would be,, all in all, if you like trash/cringe fiction- this is for you.

WARNING: even though this book is a YA novel, I’d say there’s a definite emphasis on the adult part of “young adult”... Certain scenes and themes are inappropriate for minors.

AVAILABLE ON: pdf link here ^-^ ((i think it downloads immediately if you click))

THINGS I LIKED:

the book is cringe.

great diversity in terms of the god cast. i learned about some new deities that i was previously unfamiliar with, so that was cool

Brahma (Hindu deity) wears a Gucci belt as part of his attire ^-^

whatever Estsanatlehi and Tsohanoai (Native American deities) had going on.... they were really cute and wholesome

THOR-HORUS BROTP AGENDA!!!!!!!! everyone who follows me already knows how keen i am about this idea of all the war deities hanging out together (fite club), and this novel served up exactly that. disappointing that Huitzilopochtli wasn’t a part of it, but i am settling for Thor and Horus’ several centuries old friendship.

Horus’ falcon tattoo detail.. i LOVE the idea of the gods having their sacred animals tattooed,, it’s so awesome!!!

Pan... i liked the way he still had his little horns, and he was kinda chaotic and fun.

in general, the descriptions of the gods were so pleasant and so cool.. i really liked the way that pretty much all the gods were beautiful,, this is very much in line with my own idea of how the gods look, and i think it makes sense, because they’re meant to be charismatic, compelling beings- beings that you worship, beings that you praise- why would they be anything but beautiful? and even if they were considered ugly by other gods, that’s only in comparison to other deities.. from a human perspective,, i just can’t see how any mortal could consider a god to be anything less than perfection,, idk

in particular- i really enjoyed the descriptions of Huitzilopochtli in his debut. i know he’s a piece of shit in the novel, but i LOVED the way he was described with his war-frenzy being triggered by blood, and the way, as god of the sun, his body almost glows, and heats up as though you’re looking into the sun itself, and the only way he can cool it down is by bathing in blood... WOWOWOWOW it’s just such a neat and fantastic visual description. his physical appearance really paid tribute to Huitzilopochtli’s original domain and attributes.

i also liked the linking between Huitzilopochtli being the Father of Vampires.. links between Aztec culture and vampirism is a trope that i didn’t originally suspect, but have become exposed to quite a bit as of late,, and i think that it’s quite a clever little plot. i liked that Huitzilopochtli also debunks superstitions about the sun, garlic, crosses, holy water etc.

Huitzilopochtli as the villain. the man makes a BRILLIANT villain- his motives are very clear and also, i thought, justified, albeit unoriginal. his presence is quite terrifying, and the reader does worry for Vervain’s safety whenever she’s with him- which is good! this means that he fills out his role as a villain well. tbh,, i did love Huitzilopochtli from the moment of his debut, but he got knocked out of my books during a certain temple scene and i have some thoughts about that in the next section.

when Vervain wakes up after the temple dream with Huitzilo, and she relaxes because it was just a dream, but then she looks into the mirror and sees bite marks on her neck!!! CHILLS! now THAT was good writing- it was unexpected, and served well to navigate into the next part of the plot.

Odin and Huitzilopochtli holding a ted talk on “how to create panic and discord among the humans”, and the gods having to bring certain meals depending on what the first letter of their names were.

Vervain’s pop-culture references, and her weaponry- especially the gloves that have blades in them that get released when she swings her hand downwards. very cool, i want them.

casual appearances from Vladimir Putin (yes, i said Vladimir Putin)... i couldn’t stop laughing when i read that Huitzilo was trying to kill Putin’s daughter to instigate a war...... asdhshajdhasdjfhjdhf insane

also i know Vervain was trying to mock Huitzilo when she nicknamed him “Blue”,, but like.. that’s a really cute name and it wasn’t even insulting.. yeah, that one backfired on you Vervain... if anything, that just made it seem like she actually had affections for him and i feel like probably in part is the reason why he felt encouraged to pursue her.

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE/THINGS THAT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE AND/OR CONFUSED ME:

the book is cringe.

it reads like a 15 year old’s fantasy AU where she’s a humble young woman, unextraordinary- yet somehow, she is the muse of every man’s desire. handsome, ripped gods who never wear clothes are laying themselves down at her feet,, and she is just overwhelmed by the choices before her; and all the while, she has to balance a complicated love life with her duty to save the world (since she’s the only one who can).

Vervain as a protagonist. idk how old she’s meant to be, but since the book is in first-person, and the reader is exposed to her innermost thoughts,, i’ve gotta say- she’s incredibly immature. as a protagonist, i just feel like she’s rude, pretentious, snobby.. she has no idea what “respect” even means. in every scene, she’s either fighting someone, or lusting after them (when Teharon told her off for having lascivious thoughts about him, and she simply responded with “well stop being so sexy then” i wanted to die.... WHAT is wrong with her)

i hate the way she looks down on the gods- even if you didn’t worship them, or even believed in their existence, surely you wouldn’t have the gall to lecture Hades and Persephone on how to be a good couple (especially when your advice is shit). surely you wouldn’t have the gall to say to Thor what Vervain says to him on pg 227, 4th line from the bottom, that i will not repeat here. Vervain is just too self-absorbed. i don’t hate her, but i definitely think her character is a bit,,, iffy.

relating to Vervain as the protagonist- everything just seems to happen to her.. and i know that she’s the protag, and things are meant to happen to her, but it all happens to her one after the other in succession, no breaks. it’s so easy for her... oh? Huitzilopochtli is going to kill Putin’s daughter? no worries, Vervain can read Huitzilopochtli’s thoughts! oh? the gods have never been able to transform more than half their body into their animal form? no worries, Vervain is so powerful she can force a god to change against their will! oh? Vervain is being attacked by blood-thirsty wolves? no worries, she saved the life of one werewolf and now he’s indebted to her and will literally kill himself in order to protect her! everything is easy, and nothing is a problem.

the way every male deity ever sees Vervain once and immediately wants to take her to bed. why was that a necessary aspect of her character? and also, why are the gods portrayed as such lustful beings?? it really wasn’t necessary.

Horus throwing a fit about how December 25 is his birthday and that it was stolen from him by Jesus... to quote:

“No big deal?” Horus puffed up. “I was called the Lamb of God. I had twelve apostles, and my myths spoke of my crucifixion and consequent resurrection in three days. His stories were my stories first!”

it’s fine that Horus is angry about his birthday which was i think, historically celebrated around this date- but the rest of it isn’t even true???? Horus didn’t have 12 apostles, i’m pretty sure he was also not called “Lamb of God”, and he wasn’t crucified!!! aghhhh even Thor says “It’s been so long that even you don’t remember things accurately.”

anyways.. my beef with this is the way it’s phrased so as to imply that “oh christianity just stole everything from the pagans” when this is so incredibly false and sounds like something an ill-informed person would say. you can read more about christianity, paganism and christmas here

kinda related to the previous point- the jokes about Jesus’ skin colour. i quote:

“... when Christ first became a god, he looked Jewish because those were the people he chose to align himself with. However, the Jews didn’t want him, and when Christianity spread, the white people wanted Jesus to look more like them. With the change in belief, Christ’s appearance changed. ... We used to tease him about how he looked whiter every time we saw him... Kind of like Michael Jackson...”

what the FUCK??????? seems like Sumida doesn’t understand that various ethnic groups illustrate Jesus as appearing as the local people do. Yes, obviously in a Western country, Jesus is going to look European, he’s going to look white. If you go to Japan, you will see Jesus and the rest of the gang looking pretty fucking Japanese. the point of this is NOT to erase Jesus’ Jewish ethnicity, and it is certainly not because of something like “the Jews didn’t want him”- it is because it is a way for followers to better relate to the Divine. including Christ in this story isn’t the problem- i’ve seen others do it very well. the problem is how uneducated her writing comes across.

all the gods have human jobs so that they can earn money and stuff,, which is fine- Thor, for example, owns a line of boats, which makes sense. but Pan? his job is making p*rn. now even though it’s true that everyone associates Pan with sexuality and stuff,,, this isn’t his primary role, and making Pan out to be just a playboy who has his mind in the gutter 24/7 i think is a bit of a mockery. Pan is, first and foremost, a god of the Wild. why Sumida elected to make him a p*rn manufacturer and not a wildlife conservationist is beyond me... i’m not even pagan, and i thought this creative decision was distasteful and stupid, especially because his character is actually quite light-hearted and cool.

the temple scene with Huitzilopochtli and Vervain. as i said previously, i really really liked Huitzilo’s character. he made an excellent villain. but this part?? i understand why it was done, but i HATED that it had to happen... not just because it was horrible for Vervain, but Huitzilo seemed so powerful and godly right up to that point- after which he seemed pretty pathetic- going back after Vervain after she’s rejected him countless times. she is JUST a mortal!!! c’mon Huitzilo, give it up!!! you are degrading yourself at the expense of achieving one mortal’s “love”.. the fact that he had to hypnotise her to get what he wanted AND had to achieve it through her dreams (when’s she can’t protect herself) was sooooo pathetic and disgraceful.. IMO, he committed the worst sin any person could ever commit and i just... AGHHHHHHHHH SMH WHY?!

speaking of morons- Thor. Thor just comes across to me as extremely possessive, and over-protective,, and idk how Vervain was NOT creeped out by the fact that Thor had literally been stalking her for two years before she even met him. wtf? god or not- that’s creepy. actually, i think it’s creepier because he is a god. 

Sif. i am still waiting for good media representation of thunder god Thor and his beautiful golden-haired wife Sif- i want them to be HAPPY, and i want them to be in love the way they should be! 

Persephone. i like the idea of Persephone being sweet-tempered, and kind- but in this book, she’s such a wimp??????? she totally just lets Vervain be rude to her, a goddess who’s name means “Bringer of Destruction”. also- her relationship with Hades seems toxic.. i mean,, he like tracks her? she starts stuttering when she talks to him, and gets nervous when people so much as mention his name. not to mention the fact that Persephone says that when she does go back to him, all he demands from her is a certain horizontal dance so much so that she is “sore” (<- quoting from the book here) every time she returns??????? WHAT IS HAPPENING?????????? and no one even questions it. Vervain doesn’t even question it! instead she suggests that Persephone MOVES IN with Hades permanently???? and that Hades should just start verbally saying how much he loves Persephone instead of “showing” her how much he “loves” her.....??? there are SO many issues with this.. i can’t even- *screams*

the Aphrodite-is-madly-in-love-with-Huitzilopochtli side plot. it could have been really good, but then it ends so abruptly,,, i mean.. why’d Aphrodite get done so dirty like that? Also summary of Hephaestus’ first and final scenes:

Hephaestus, entering the room: Right, what’s all this then? Vervain: Your wife is cheating on you (again) Hephaestus: Aight, i’m out *leaves and never comes back for the rest of the book*

what the HECK was the ending with Trevor?? i hate Vervain so much i can’t... okay first of all- WHY did Trevor decide to have a wolf-marriage with Vervain?? he kept on going on about how she’s so beautiful, and kind, and caring... NO SHE ISN’T TREVOR!!! i’m so mad that he would pledge himself for all eternity to this girl who doesn’t even like him in that way!!! you played yourself son

also- Thor accepts the fact that Trevor is going to have to be close by to Vervain because the terms of the marriage state that Trevor will literally die without her touch, which is VERY GENEROUS of Thor... but Vervain?? ooooh i HATE her.. she has the audacity to look at Trevor with her lecherous eyes thinking about lustful things IN THOR’S OWN BED!!!!! and then she thinks to herself “oh whoops i shouldn’t be thinking that”- yeah you’re darn right you shouldn’t be thinking that!!!! whatttt is wrong with her............. 

also- where tf did Huitzilo go??? he just gave up on trying to instigate a war and vanished?? the plot was so unresolved?????? AGH!

#also- i forgot but- the Brad Pitt looking guy on the front cover.. i thought maybe that was meant to be Ull because he's blonde but i guess #it really was Thor in the end?? but Thor in the novel has red hair so what's up with that? how disappointing #person who reviewed this and said ''Vervain's one of the best female heroines today!''- can i have some of whatever you're smoking? #she's so horrible!!! aghhhhh #review #godhunter by amy sumida #long post

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #425

“evolution repressed by our backwards contest  /  breeding our torrential demise as we come to this edge”

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? I think Nutella is a godsend, but I use peanut butter waaaaay more often. We don't even really buy Nutella because I will destroy the jar. Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Baked. What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? Kathryn. I think. Do you like breadsticks? I just like bread, man. What are your favorite things to spend money on? Tattoos, uuuuugggghhhhh <3 Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Neither, really. Most puppies drive me insane (even though they're cute as everliving fuck), and I don't want another cat. Mom actually talked about getting another, but I really just want my one boy. Roman would get SO jealous, anyway. I enjoy just having my baby. How old will you be on your next birthday? 26. Yikes. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? As "the fat one," I can be sometimes. I would say though that more often than not, it's sort of whatever to me because I'm a human that has to eat. When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I thought I slept way later than I actually did. What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? My stuffed meerkat Rebel. Jason got it for me for my first birthday that we were together. Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? Never again. I was once able to think "agree to disagree," but sometimes by doing so, you're siding with evil by not enforcing what is more than just a belief. It should come with being a human. Also given my own sexuality, it would be a slap in the face to me. Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? Hell no. I'd date one though, if they were modest about their position. Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Wow, no. Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Quite frankly, nowadays, my appearance. I need it. My self-confidence is so far below "shit." Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Nope. You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? Hm. I know I talk about it a lot, but it would still probably be a 40 gallon terrarium for Venus. She needs - and deserves - it. Honestly, have you ever danced naked? NOOOOOOOO. What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Downloaded music. My mom eventually found out, but didn't care much. What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Google. Do you like to write poetry? I do, but I haven't done it in a while. :/ Are your ears pierced? Yes. If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? Piercing gun. Which, by the way, do not do. There are many more risks with a piercing gun versus a needle by a professional. Do you wear makeup regularly? I never do. Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? No. I've been on a bagel kick lately. When was the last time you tripped over something? Last night, actually. The rug in the living room was slightly turned up, and I tripped in the dark. I didn't actually fall, thankfully. Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I'm diagnosed with OCD. I experience more ruminations and intrusive thoughts more than obsessive behaviors, though. Who was the last person you yelled at? Probably Mom. Why did you yell at them? I don't remember. Favorite type of apple? I like pink lady apples. I really enjoy any, so long as they're crisp. Ever seen live horse racing? No. To be totally honest, I don't really like the concept of it. Motivating a horse to run by hurting it doesn't exactly seem moral... How about live greyhound racing? No. What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? The Internet, haha. Have you ever touched a giraffe? No. What does your mom call you? Britt. What stresses you out the most in life? I really don't think I could pick a top one. There are so many. Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Yeah. Y'all probably know WoW is my favorite. If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? I used to be able to slam out Expert easily with only very few songs I had to play on Hard, but now it's been YEARS. I've played less than once in a blue moon, and my skill's definitely faded some. It really depends on the song. What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? He couldn't handle my depression anymore. What’s your favorite country song? "When The Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw, probably. What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Fail to communicate what he was feeling with me and then make a dashing break for it very, very abruptly after three and a half years. It put me past a state of shock, but trauma with how no less than obsessed I was with him. What were you for Halloween last year? I didn't dress up. :/ I wish I had the money and motivation alike to. Are you feeling guilty for something? I always will. Are you usually quiet or loud? Quiet. How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? Like... uh... all of them, oof. What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? Meerkat Manor. Do your siblings text you? Not really. Do you want a small or big wedding? Small. Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Not the house I currently live in, but I have before. Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don't know. Ever kissed someone who smokes? No. Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? Frankly, no. Do you own your own computer? This laptop, anyway. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yes, with my younger sister as a kid and pre-teen. What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? I hear the video I'm watching, as well as my fan. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yes. What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? Nothing. Not like that's a surprise. What do you typically order from Wendy’s? Son of the Baconator. @_@ Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No. Those are so awkward to me. What do you love most about yourself? I don't know these days. Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No. What are you doing right now? This survey and re-watching John Wolfe play Outlast 2. What’s bothering you right now? I'm immensely nervous about tomorrow. I have my first (and I pray the fuck to God not only) session with my new personal trainer then, and I'm terrified by how my body and my mental fortitude is going to react. Y'all have no fucking idea JUST how out of shape I am, and the muscles in my legs seem basically non-existent by now. I have to do something about my health, though, and I'm determined to make this shit work. More than determined. I know the first day is going to be hard, but I need to do this more than I can explain. What was the last thing you drank? ... What great fucking timing, I have a can of Mountain Dew, lol... That's another thing that needs to change. I've gotta stop the emotional and boredom-eating and chill the fuck out with soda. Be honest, do you like people in general? Quite frankly, no. There are plenty of people I love and think are amazing, of course, but I think I lean towards humanity being too shitty to like "in general." Do you want your tongue pierced? I miss my snake eyes. :/ That was suuuuch a cute piercing. I just had to take it out for the safety of my teeth. I kept accidentally clamping down on one of the balls when eating, and it would cause tiny fractures. Do you change your phone background a lot? No. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? No. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? It's not funny-sounding, no, I just think it's too manly for me to enjoy as part of my name. Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Yes. Oddly enough, I don't remember what I OD'd on now... You'd think I would, given how extreme the situation was. It was some cold medicine. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I absolutely do. It's extremely insensitive to people like myself who legitimately suffer - and I do mean "suffer" - from the disorder. Describe your day so far in three words: Dull. Lazy. Anxious. What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? Probably my senior project and the presentation I had to do for it. I taught about the fallacies and misconceptions of snakes, and I made a PowerPoint and some drawings to color and crosswords for the special ed children. I was so, so very nervous, but I got through it fine and the kids seemed to enjoy it. I actually still have the recording. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: MILKY WAY. FUCK I love those. Have you ever stepped in dog poop? UGH yes. What was the last thing you spent money on? My niece's birthday present. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? I almost said "yes," but then I realized he doesn't know me at all anymore. I've changed so much, hopefully mostly for the better. He hasn't "known" me in many years. Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? It's terrifying to imagine my life without Mom; Sara, too. Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? I prefer no coffee. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have somewhere to sit that's not the ground, yes. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Sometimes. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? They're pretty, but I don't support their usage by this point in my life. They're a fire hazard, triggering to some vets with PTSD, and beyond terrifying for animals. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I get most heated about child molestation. You do not fucking touch a child like that. I don't even write any of my bajillion evil guys committing it in RP because I just can't stomach it. Even when my little sister (a children's social worker) is telling Mom about some stuff she sees at work, I have to not be present, 'cuz that shit isn't rare. It's nauseating. Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? A good number of people, honestly. Do you enjoy tanning? Hell no, I avoid the sun and heat at like all costs. Are you a virgin? This is going to sound weird, but I actually don't know, but I lean towards no. Who’s your celebrity crush? mARK EDWARD FISCHFUCK Did or do you get good grades in English class? I was always excellent in English. What part of your body are you self-conscious about? My stomach. But I'm self-conscious about everything else, too. Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No. Everyone knows I can't cook worth a damn. Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Truly close, no. Unless you include pets, actually. Then a few. :/ Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yep. When was the last time you got a shot? Earlier this year for Covid. Get your fucking vaccine, btw. :^)

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you have any tan lines? Nope. Have you ever wished you could stop time? Yes. I’ve also wished I could speed it up. Is there any pictures on the wall you're in? Yeah, there’s several. Who was the last person who called you? My mom. Did you make any money today? No.

Have you ever fallen and twisted your ankle? No. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I haven’t jumped from anywhere. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? No. Ever been so unfortunate to slip on wet rocks? Nope. When was the last time you got completely soaked by rain? It’s been a long time. One of the times that comes to mind is when my mom, aunt, a former friend, and I were at an outdoor festival and we got caught in an unexpected rain storm. It just started pouring down hard and we were not prepared at all. We had to run back to our car, which was parked a good distance away and yeah we were absolutely soaked. 

Is there something you really want to buy at the moment? I’d love to be able to book a beach vacation getaway. Would you ever consider culinary school? No. I’m not a cook and have no interest in trying to become one. Do you ever watch the clouds, to see if they look like objects/animals etc? I did when I was a kid sometimes. When was the last time you didn't want to get out of bed? That’s me everyday. It’s a real struggle. Are you excited for anything coming up in the near future? No. My foreseeable future consists of more doctors and appointments and struggles and spending most of my time in bed. Speaking of dancing, do you know any real dance moves? I know them, but I can’t do them. Do you save cards from your birthday/x-mas, etc? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? A shirt. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? One of my favorite covers is Adele’s cover of George Michael’s “Fast Love” that she preformed at an award show in honor of him after he died. I can only describe it as hauntingly beautiful. I really wish she would have released a studio version of it. When was the last time you printed something off? I don’t recall; it’s been awhile. Are you one of those people who can learn music/songs by ear? No, I wish. There was a guy in my piano class I took my senior year in high school that could do that. It was really cool. Has the power gone out recently? No, but I have a feeling it will happen soon. It always does when we have a lot of triple digit degree weather, which is what this week has consisted of. Do you like driving at night? I don’t drive, but I like nighttime drives. Like, whenever I travel I love leaving really early when it’s still dark out. It’s a different experience. Does seeing roadkill make you sad, or just grossed out? Both. Does wearing heels make you feel sexier? I don’t wear heels. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? The piano can sound that way. What day do you go back to school (if you're in school)? I’m forever done with school. When was the last time you've gone shopping with a friend? It’s been a few years. Do you ever go out to dinner with your Mom? We haven’t physically gone out to eat for dinner in quite a long time.  What is your favorite kind of salad dressing? Ranch. Have you ever bought fireworks? Not me personlly, but my dad and brother do every 4th of July. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Sometimes, but I ultimately decide if I want to see it or not. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Sure. Who was the last person/website to send you an email? I don’t feel like checking. Has your phone ever rang and scared you? Yeah. I’m such a jumpy person anyway. If you have a cat, does it ever "converse" with you? I don’t have a cat. If given the chance, would you ever fly in a fighter plane like the F-16? No. Are you afraid of standing on the edge of hills/skyscrapers/cliffs etc? Uh, YES. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar etc)? No. Do you support the funds designed to protect endangered animals? (Like WWF). I haven’t done much myself to support them, but I’m glad they exist. What type of a drunk are you? (Obnoxious, calm, emotional, violent, etc) I was a chatty drunk. I feel like I was annoying, ha. I was also the sad drunk. Do you have an absolute favorite name (boy or girl)? I love the name Alexander. Are you good at pronouncing foreign words? Uhh, depends. If you're not already, when do you plan on getting married? I don’t want to get married. Can you tolerate the smell of cigarette smoke? Nooo. It honestly makes me sick, like I get lightheaded and dizzy, I get nauseous, and I get a really bad headache. When listening to music, do you usually tap your foot etc to the beat? I sometimes tap my fingers and hands. Have you ever literally cried on a friend's shoulder? No. Was there something that "made your day" today? It literally just turned midnight, so today is just now starting. Do you have a favorite kind of chocolate bar? White chocolate. Are you happy that it's summer? Ugh, no. It’s hot and miserable. Is there anything that you should be doing right now? I’m about to make my nightly bowl of ramen.  Has anyone had expectations that you just couldn't live up to? (finishing this a couple hours later...) That’s how I’ve been feeling. Are you currently in a relationship? If so, how long have you been dating? Nope. Would you ever consider being a DJ at a party if you were paid? Nah. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Wow, this question makes it seem like they’re so futuristic and rare lol. Yes, I use electric toothbrushes. Are you or anyone you know devoted to "being green"? Not overly so, no. When it comes election time, do you vote (if you're old enough)? Yes. What was the last movie you watched that was on TV? I watched Fear 1994 on Netflix recently if that counts. How long have you had an account on bzoink? I don’t have an account on bzoink. Do strapless bras work for you? I don’t like them. I only wear them if I have to, like with a dress. Do you have a favorite hair elastic that you use almost always? No. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/ were planning on it/etc? No. When you were younger, did you have a yoyo? I did. I couldn’t do any tricks, though. What was the last video game you played, if any? Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Has anyone ever called you nerdy? Yeah. Have you ever had to call 911? Yes. Has there ever been a tornado near where you live? No, fortunately. Are you a rollercoaster addict? Noo. I’m a big scardy cat. Do you feel comfortable enough to wear short shorts? No. I’m very self-conscious about my legs. About my body in general, really. If you have iTunes, do you find the Genius recommendations helpful? I don’t even recall what that is; I haven’t used iTunes in almost 10 years. Are you quick at looking up numbers in phonebooks/ words in dictionaries? Phonebooks, wow.  I haven’t used a phonebook or actual dictionary in yearsssss thanks to the Internet/Google.  Have a favorite actor/actress from Old Hollywood? (Marilyn Munroe, etc) Lucille Ball. Out of Biology, Chemistry and Physics, which are you the best at? None of those. Is there a friend you can always talk to about anything? I don’t have any friends. Can you stand spicy foods? Not anymore. :( It’s gotta have like barely anything like McDonald’s or Taco Bell mild hot sauce type of stuff. It’s wild because I used to be obSESSED with spicy food. I put hot sauce on everything and had a high spicy tolerance. Then a few years ago I developed a sensitivity and I can’t even have red pepper flakes now. It sucks. What's your opinion on people who stretch their ears? Hey, do what you want. I’ll admit the really stretched out lobes freak me out, though. Do you think tattoos are expressive art or unattractive? To me they can be either one, it just depends. What is your school mascot? -- Do you find black and white photos to be pretty? Yeah. Food you make doesn't taste as good as food made by others, true? Sometimes. Especially foods like sandwiches for some reason. I think they’re way better when my mom or a deli makes them.  Is there a certain color that doesn't look good on you? I don’t think I look good in anything, so. Have you ever heard anything interesting about Nova Scotia, Canada? Not that I can recall. Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? No, thankfully. Do you know when you will get to see your significant other next? I’m single. What's the book you're currently reading? ”Such a Good Girl” by Willow Rose. Is your room currently a disaster? No. If going to a concert, do you prefer it to be outside or in a stadium? Definitely in a stadium.

Do you have a case for your camera? I use the camera on my phone, which I do have a case for. Can your cellphone take a beating? I’ve dropped it a few times and so far so good. Is there a month you prefer over others? October and December. Do you ever buy lottery tickets? Just a couple of times. Can you recall the most disturbing movie you've ever seen? A Clockwork Orange is one. Are you more of a tape or a glue person? Tape. Of course, it does depend on what I’m doing. In some cases, glue is the better option.  Has anyone you know gotten mono? Not that I know of. What is/or was your graduating year? I graduated UC in 2015. Have you had a weird dream lately? All my dreams are weird. Have you ever gotten an autograph from someone famous? Yes. Do you own a pair of slippers? No. Do you ever watch VHS movies anymore? No. I don’t even recall the last time. Has your computer ever decided to completely erase itself? No, but I’ve lost stuff because of viruses back in the day. :(

Only when the power goes out do we realize how much we rely on it, true? It definitely becomes quite apparent quite quickly. Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? No. Can you say yes / no in different languages? ”Si” and “No”, ha. Are you good at styling your own hair? No. Especially not anymore since I just don’t have the motivation or energy to do anything with my hair, which is why it was always up in a bun. I finally just cut it really short and have been wearing a cute wig if I go somewhere cause that’s all I can to do right now. I am sad, though. It was so long.   Out of the traditional superheroes, which one is your favorite? The Scarlett Witch and Iron Man. What color is the shirt you're wearing right now? Black. Have you ever been lost? Physically and figuratively, yes.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[atxlxs]

Beyond The Veil: Chapter 9

As she and Aizawa approached the door to the principal's office, she noticed he went to slow down to knock but Eras wasn’t dumb.

She saw that camera hidden in the wood of the door.

Without missing a beat, she walked forward through the now open doors as Aizawa faltered for half a second. Muttering the words ‘fuckin rat’ under his breath and Eras took a sharp breath as she held back a snort. Instead, she turned her attention to Nedzu and All Might. The latter was sitting on a couch and the minute Eras turned her head to him and sniffed, she could smell the metallic scent of blood. He was covered in the scent. A tell tale sign of injury.

Not that she didn’t know about that before she entered the room.

Is it really that surprising for a few people to figure out a national secret when it was literally walking around?

“Ah Eras-san,” of course the rat had listened in on their conversation at the gate, “Welcome, please have a seat. Tea?” Nedzu asked, his tone deceptively light.

“Thank you, If you have any green tea that would be delightful. I can only stomach certain kinds of tea.” That was a lie, well kind of. In reality Eras just didn’t like most human drinks or food, preferring coffee and Boba to just tea. Green Tea’s are the only kind she can have without it tasting like getting hit in the face with a bunch of spices. A consequence of her vampire attributes.

“Of course, I'll prepare that right away!” Eras nodded and watched as Nedzu started making the tea before taking her gaze off of him to settle it on the #1 pro.

She narrowed her eyes.

The man flinched.

Good.

“Before we start Nedzu,” an flip of the tail told her he was listening, “I think we could agree that All Might should save his time for when the Bakugo’s get here considering it would be a shock for them to see the hero deflate like a balloon after a 5 year old’s birthday party.”

All Might instantly deflated and started hacking up blood. Nedzu was cackling and Eras could hear the softly muttered ‘deserved’ from behind her where Aizawa was standing, leaned against the wall.

“How?!?” All Might stammered. Eras just sighed and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, her face the picture of unimpressed.

“You are a walking national secret that could potentially throw the country of japan into chaos with merely announcing said injury. I believe it's quite honestly predictable that at least someone would know about it. Besides, Nedzu wasn’t the only individual trying to get access to the veil. People in the veil are beyond what constitutes as human. Especially when it comes to life expectancy. Some people who wish to live long lives to further their ideals come to the veil seeking answers. Supervillains and the like.” The man's face paled at the last part and Eras felt a bit of relief at that.

At least he wasn’t a total idiot when it came to reading between the lines.

(Eras had been keeping track of All for One since she learned of his existence. Even after the man supposedly died, she made sure to keep an ear out.)

“Besides, even if I didn’t know beforehand, as you’ve demonstrated you're consistently either covered in blood, or seconds away from expelling it. I could smell it the moment I walked in here.” Eras stated simply. Reveling in the man’s confused fear.

That was until a tea cup was placed in front of her.

Nedzu was vibrating with glee.

Oh. Oh no. She had forgotten Nedzu didn’t know what race she was yet. Fuck.

“Thank you.” she said, conveniently ignoring her slip up. What he doesn’t know can’t be used against her.

“You're quite welcome. The Bakugo’s will be here in another 20 minutes since it does take a bit of time to arrive from their place of work.” The rat smiled that polite smile that grated her nerves wrong. That was the fake smile of something inhuman trying to act as society demands.

Just like her own tight lipped smile.

She sighed and turned to Nedzu. Eyes that were once black were now glowing a toxic green as she allowed herself to smile fully, fangs displayed for everyone in the room to see. Ignoring the sharp intake of breath from the occupant still leaned against the wall and sputtering All Might, Eras kept her gaze on Nedzu. Conveying with her inhuman qualities that she wouldn’t judge him.

The feral smile she got in return was satisfying.

“You can ask Nedzu. You have 20 minutes after all.” Eras allowed her eyes to dim back to their black and returned to her usual smile.

Nedzu kept his feral smile in place as his eyes gleamed and Eras came to a conclusion. She liked the chimera. Sure she will still call him rat man and other nicknames but he was truly just curious. Also, he stopped at verbal answers instead of testing every and anything like the elves.

“Based on what I’ve seen, you're a vampire. Though you do greatly contradict the basic stereotype for your kind found in lore and novels. Evident especially with the green glow we were allowed to witness, as well as having short fangs on the bottom row of teeth with the usual top and longer ones. Is that the norm or are you different?”

Right for the gut huh? Eras returned her sharp smile to her face. She could appreciate intellect and getting to the heart of a matter quickly and efficiently.

“As you’ve already hypothesized,” she saw Nedzu’s grin grow wider, “I am not normal for my kind. Specifically, my title is an ‘Origin’, in lore and new veil members though, I am referred to as a pureblood. True to the name, I was born the way I am a long time ago.”

“How intriguing. Muska had informed us before but vampires were the original members of the veil and held most of the information. I won’t press for more since we were already told we were going to be limited, however what exactly is the hierarchy like for Vampires? I assume Origin is a title for someone relatively high on the social hierarchy.”

Eras leaned back in her chair, sighing a bit as she remembered the fact that she was directly involved in politics, even if she was only called upon for those meetings, but she shook her head to get back on track.

“Essentially, we are ruled through clans, which then are ranked socially and politically by generation. Not generation as in blood descendants but generation by creation.” Eras shifted a bit as she gestured to her fangs. “Purebloods can create vampire brethren, fledglings, through a process I will not explain for reasons. These are known as 1st generations and resemble what you’re used to except things like weakness to silver and garlic. Honestly, I have no clue as to where that comes from. As you expect, anyone they turn are 2nds and they make 3rds. There are rules in place for those who are 4th generation though because at that point, for unknown reasons, the created creature is not a vampire but a Parafron, a bloodthirsty hunter that loses its mind within the first 100 years.”

Nedzu seemed to catch the implication because his eyes seemed to gleam brighter, if that was possible.

“You're a clan leader.” He simply stated. Eras nodded with a small smirk.

“Yes, as you may have noticed, I have a… mark... on my neck. Contrary to belief, I didn’t get a tattoo. I was born with it to mark what clan I’m from. A side effect from being an origin. My clan, however, is smaller than the rest due to my specific responsibilities that come with the mark.”

She could tell Nedzu noticed she was skirting around names and titles. Thankfully the chimera simply nodded and looked towards his computer. His smile dimmed and the gleam faded from his eyes as he turned back.

“Seems the Bakugo’s have arrived! Present Mic is currently meeting and leading them here.”

Eras nodded and she returned her now narrowed gaze to an All Might who squirmed. He had definitely forgotten her ire during her and Nedzu’s convo.

A mistake.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Muska was very concerned.

Why?

Greenie was very concerning.

When Eras had left, Muska turned back to greenie who had been spluttering still from Eras' blatant appreciation for saving her ass. The teen looked shocked, as if he didn’t just save her from third degree chemical burns. Sighing, which grabbed the teen’s attention back to her, Muska raised an eyebrow and stared at Midoriya.

“Did you expect her not to thank you? You literally dragged me out of the way of an explosion while I was frozen. Admittedly, not my best moment. You acted just like a hero and all that jazz, you deserve the thanks. Oh btw, when Eras means if you need anything, she means if you need anything. Even hiding a body she’d help as long as she gets plausible deniability.” Muska said, watching as very green eyes started to water.

At the last bit, Midoriya let out a wet snort and held a hand to his mouth to muffle it. Then he darted up, ramrod straight, as he returned wide eyes to Muska’s. He seemed to search her for something which made Muska more than just a little confused.

“Do you mean it?”

It was softly said. She almost didn’t hear it, but when she did she was even more confused.

“Mean what?”

“That I acted like a h-hero?”

“Of course? Why would I lie about that?” she asked, confusion lacing every word in genuine puzzlement.

It seemed that was the breaking point because Midoriya broke out into sobs. Not knowing what to do, Muska stared wide-eyed as her new friend(?) started to break down in front of her. Not knowing if touch would help, which she also really didn’t want to do because she wasn’t fond of contact with people she didn’t know well (nor did she know what to say), she just stared awkwardly. The part that worried her most though, was how near silent his crying was. As if he wouldn’t, no couldn’t, make a sound.

The sobs tapered off and Muska sat up and turned towards Midoriya. She made sure he calmed down enough to listen, but not quite enough for the sheepish ‘I’m sorry’ to finish coming out of his mouth.

“It's a fine greenie. If you’d be willing, mind explaining if I did something wrong? I also assume I’m on friendship level one considering it’s the second day of school so I don’t expect answers but I’d appreciate a heads up. Are they at least happy tears?” Muska made sure her features were softer than normal, a hard earned skill since she had a resting bitch face that scared people away when she wasn’t focused on playing nice.

That and the barking. Could you blame her if it worked in keeping assholes away?

Midoriya snapped his head up and started throwing his hands around in a rejection gesture before he whipped off excess tears in order to speak over the floodgates of his eyes. Seriously, he could probably fill a bathtub.

“Oh no no, these are happy tears! It’s just, no one has ever really said that to me before. The hero thing. So I was just… really happy?” A hand raised to sheepishly hold the back of Greenie's neck as left over tears spilled and a bright red blush poked through tan freckled skin.

“Why wouldn’t they? I mean Hero’s seem pretty important to Japanese society so like, there must have been a few?” Muska said. This conversation was giving her very bad vibes. Like curtains that block you from seeing someone in a hospital bed. All ominous and nerve wracking.

“I uh-” He cuts off, thinking hard about what he was about to say. He glanced over a few times, soaking in the honest confusion on her face, and possibly going over every detail of their meetings so far this year.

“I- I well, I may have manifestedmyquirkduringtheentranceexam-” Midoriya stuttered and launched the words out of his mouth fast enough that they were barely intelligible, only to slam his mouth shut with a click and wide eyes.

“Ok? I am…. Still very confused here. What does manifesting your quirk that late have to do with the hero bit? Granted that does explain your lack of control.” Muska added, somewhat regretting the last bit when Midoriya flinched,

Then, he shot up ramrod straight and disbelief started to enter his eyes as he processed her last statement.

“I was- I was quirkless most of my life?” He added, his posture defensive and prepared to take a hit. Emotionally or physically.

“So?”

A minute passed. Then 2 more.

Midoriya promptly burst into tears again and Muska sighed. A world weary heavy sigh.

She’s so done with everything today.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags:

@baguettehead

#bnha #mha #mhaoc #bnhaoc #au #mhafanfic #bnhafanfic

[goofnuggetkarlaa]

Long OFA Quirk Theory Post, BNHA ch 257 Spoilers

Also I apologize now for anyone on mobile where the read more isn’t working properly and you have to scroll through this whole thing. It got way longer than I intended. I won’t be upset if you block me so you don’t have to see this post anymore lol

Alright so I was really hoping All Might would at least briefly say the quirks of the previous OFA holders he found (or have a quick panel showing them in the notebook or SOMETHING), but sadly we’re gonna have to wait a bit longer I guess...

However, he and Bakugou said the same thing: all of their quirks are relatively weak, since AFO was basically controlling the quirk world and taking all the strong quirks for himself or his “army”

It makes me curious though about how weak the quirks really are. Since idk about yall, but Black Whip seems to be an incredibly strong and versatile quirk (even taking into account that it was weaker back then compared to Midoriya using it now).

We also know that quirks in general get stronger the more generations go by (not just in OFA, we see this in the children the remedial course “fights”), so it makes sense that none of the quirks in OFA are particularly great compared to current times, given that quirks were still developing (tho... like I said before, I really doubt that’s the case. They may be physically weak quirks in combat, but I’m sure Midoriya will find a way to make them all incredibly op).

Another reason why I’m kinda doubting the legitimacy of the whole “they’re all weak quirks” thing is because of what AFO says about Nana. He calls her weak, a useless successor, etc. Now, I suppose having a quirk that lets you fly might seem like a weak quirk. It’s no muscle enhancer, explosions, lazer beams, etc. Though Nana herself was clearly ripped as all hell (like bro I’m so gay wtf)

Ahem, anyways, maybe he was just saying that to taunt All Might, to break his spirit or whatever. Typically evil villain stuff. But also... AFO doesn’t seem to be the type of guy to do that. To just call someone weak even if they weren’t. (altho he also uses a flying quirk, so make of that what you will) BUT ANYWAYS this just leads me to think her quirk was probably the “weakest” out of all the successors he had faced so far. I would probably think the same if the successor 2 people before her had something as interesting as Black Whips.

So what kind of quirks are they? Unfortunately my theories are only based off of their appearances, and AFO. I’ll mention the bit about AFO first, since it feels more solid than the bit about their appearances.

It’s a theory I’m kinda believing less and less with the information we’re being given, but I wonder if AFO could have taken their quirks before they died. Sort of like a way to taunt future holders. Like “haha look I’m using your master’s beloved quirk how does that make you feel.” And I mean, yeah, he can’t take OFA, that much has been established (altho that seems like it’s gonna change soon... hmmm shiggy what you up to?). But what about after they’ve passed OFA on to the next person? They still should have their original quirk, since OFA seems to work kinda like a copy-paste system. So would AFO be able to take it then?

I’ll use Nana as an example. In the short 2ish minute special, All Might Rising, we see Nana’s last fight against AFO. At this point, we know she must have passed the quirk on, because the last thing we really see is her pointing at All Might as Gran Torino carries him away. We don’t actually see her death. There could have been time for AFO to take her quirk. And we know he has some sort of flying quirk, Air Walk, which could have been hers (although we won’t know until the official translation comes out. However the current fan translations are calling Nana’s quirk stuff like Levitate or Hover)

Unfortunately that’s about where that bit of my theory comes to an end. With ch 257 saying the quirks are weak, I doubt AFO would have been using them in his fight with All Might. Gran Torino also mentions his quirks and fighting style were totally different from the last time 6 years ago, so that also kinda tears this theory apart. At least the bit where the quirks we got to see were any of the successors’. He still could have taken them and passed them on to the nomu while he waited for Shigaraki to be able to use them himself.

As for the appearances and quirks themselves... well, we really only have 2 that we can take a guess at. I know people have the time travel theory that Bakugou was the 2nd wielder, but I don’t like that one very much. But that’s a post for another time.

Also, from here it’s really just my opinions, and not a lot of solid or even jello-y theories. Like sand. It’s just a mess. Just a jumble of observations and  ¯\_(:/)_/¯ materialized.

So here’s the closest thing to a full body shot we have of them, the 4th on the left and 6th on the right.

The first one I’m gonna talk about is the 4th holder.

The first thing I noticed are the two marks on his face. They don’t seem like scars or some other kind of injury. They’re not drawn lightly the way Midoriya’s or Todoroki’s scars are, they’re really dark and crisp. So I’m thinking either some kind of tattoo, or (more likely) something to do with their quirk. Sort of going with my AFO theory above, it reminded me a lot of the forced quirk activation quirk he was using, though looking further into his appearance, I don’t think that’s right.

He has very contradicting vibes in my opinion. His clothes make me think something to do with water or wind, or some sort of spiraling energy like Nejire’s. But based on his face, body, and stance, I would lean more towards a physical quirk. He seems like a solid dude. Originally, I had believed he had a wind type quirk (thinking about Inasa’s appearance, he felt similar somehow), but now that Nana’s quirk is confirmed to be some kind of flying ability, it feels like having a wind quirk (that could also theoretically make you fly) would erase the point of Nana’s, and I doubt Horikoshi would want Midoriya to have quirks similar to each other, thus limiting how badass he could be (and lets be honest, this is a shonen jump manga. protags gotta be as op as possible, especially in a series like this which just SCREAMS the very essence of shonen manga. not that I’m complaining btw, I love op characters)

So anyways, I’m currently at a loss for this guy, the only other hint I feel like we have for his quirk is the color associated with him in OFA, blue, which doesn’t help much, seeing how the 5th with Black Whip is red and Nana’s with flying is yellow(? can’t really remember)... None of it seems related

Which leaves us with the second wielder we know little about, the 6th user.

And let’s be honest, there isn’t much to work with here either. Since I just mentioned associated colors, I’ll just point out right away his color is a purplish-blue. So do with that what you will. (I’m going to get into it in a moment, but I theorize a mental/kinetic-type quirk for this guy. Purple is maybe associated a bit more with kinetic-type abilities? idk look at Shinsou)

Appearance-wise, I definitely get a more mental based quirk. He’s kinda small, seems reserved, so that’s just my gut feeling. You can see some bandages around his arms, though, which might mean... something? Perhaps it has to do with his quirk, maybe he just got injured (maybe he got injured because of his quirk..? hmmm)

Honestly, his appearance just reminds me of Kageyama from Haikyuu!!, so my brain keeps unhelpfully jumping back to that, making it hard to come up with good stuff for him. If I had to guess at random, I wanna say pyrokinesis. This is partially because of a long-winded, very very VERY unlikely theory that he could be related to Nana who could VERY UNLIKELY be related to Inko, so ya know, probably some big family tree of kinetic-type abilities (since, assuming AFO isn’t his dad, which is a theory I’m a big fan of, it would be possibly pretty emotional for Midoriya, seeing how it COULD have been his quirk if he were born with one, since it’s a good mix of his mom and dad’s quirks) The other reason is just cause I thought it’d be cool. lol.

Though to be fair, part of that “it would be cool” has to do with the idea of “how op can Midoriya get?” which involves having a large range of abilities to be able to be effective in any situation. so far he has super strength as the base of OFA (which is always good in a fist fight), restraining with Black Whip, and eventually mobility with Hover. It would make sense for him to also have more rescue-type abilities, seeing how so far most of his skills are geared towards fighting rather than saving, which is the opposite of Midoriya’s personality. So I thought of natural disasters: earthquakes, tsunamis, typhoons, floods, mudslides, and volcanoes are listed as common disasters in Japan, and fires are more-or-less common anywhere. So having an ability that would be beneficial in those situations would be ideal, such as pyrokinesis to stop a fire, or something like hydro/aquakinesis to rescue those in a flood/tsunami.

Sooooo tldr I have no idea what the fuck their quirks could be but I love to theorize random shit so please come talk to me because I’m bored and dying for more content so I’m doing all I can to keep sane while I continuously wait for more updates :)))))

also I’m sure my thoughts were all over the place and made no sense, I’m sorry, I really tried to rewrite stuff over and over to make sense, but I might have made it worse, so if you don’t understand something or think I missed something, please let me know. I probably either worded it strange, or thought of it and didn’t remember to include it. BUT IF YOU THINK OF SOMETHING I ACTUALLY DIDN’T I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO HEAR IT PLEASE!!! SO DON’T BE AFRAID TO CALL ME OUT ON SOMETHING! not if it’s about the time travel theory though, I’ve had enough of that right now lol

small edit: I went back to watch the movie again (in 4d this time) and realized I had messed up the colors of the AFO holders. Also, they appeared slightly different in each shot (in one, the 5th holder was pinkish purple, but another shot was a deep red?), so I’m basically ruling out that colors have any meaning at all. Not like I think they had much basis to begin with though...

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #one for all #all for one #quirk theory #bnha successors #bnha ofa wielders #nana shimura #black whip #uuuhh i clearly dont know what to tag this as #bnha ch 257 #bnha ch 257 spoilers #bnha spoilers #midoriya izuku #bnha theory #mha theory #the nugget speaks #... and damn did she speak a lot im so sorry XD #but seriously please come talk to me #if you have some ideas #i dont care if they're just as stupid and baseless as mine #i love talking about quirks #i feel like midoriya sometimes.. lol #long post #if could have been longer but i did my best to contain it #also i kinda lied #if you really wanna talk about the time travel theory that's fine #but i dont wanna put much base into it

[bunnymcbunnister]

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 10/28

Howdy. Got a ep 5 description and a few social media glimpses into eps 8, 9, and 10, including Kim Rhodes hanging around the studio. Here is hoping for Jody! I debated about putting in Jared’s arrest- it might effect filming slightly this week. If we know more I’ll update. EDIT- according to TVLine, filming will not be effected. 

Remember, no new episode this week.

PS- This is getting sooooo long. I don’t have time today, but this weekend I might edit some stuff out/make a separate post for past episodes. I kept the past eps out of this post. Remember the disclaimer!!

DISCLAIMER: This is gathered info from various sources. This is not confirmed information. Stuff in this WILL be wrong. Don’t take this too seriously. This is for fun. 

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen, Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who. 

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death. 

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch. 

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season. 

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Christan Kane (Leverage/Angel) will star as “Leo” an “old friend” of Deans. 

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack. 

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night. 

General season 15 promo- more of a retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.” 

Per Variety: At the outset of the season, the “Supernatural” foursome of Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack are split up, but Dabb notes they won’t be for long because “ultimately this is a found family, and they have deep emotional bonds” that make up the most important part of the show.

Sam’s wound from the equalizer gives his powers/an advantage of some kind (per TVGuide)

Jack will be a critical part of the ending of the show

The cage/Adam is looking like it will be coming up for midseason

Shaving People, Punting Things: https://youtu.be/azTwku2uosA

The shaving promo, punting things promo shows glimpses or Lucifer!Sam and MOC!Dean, as well as bearded Dean in tactical equipment. Recent interviews by Dabb seem to indicate that these are glimpses into other universes, a la Apocalypse World, and other endings from Sam and Dean. 

According to the MarySue and other interivews, Sam’s bullet hole will give him a connection and insight to god- like a tin can telephone string.

In the cage, Micheal and Adam have formed a working relationship (MarySue)

Dean and Amara’s connection will be explored

There will be a bunker themed episode (MarySue)

According to Misha (Cinablend) Dean and Cas will have discord up to ep 8- which is the mid-season finale. 

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: JENSEN ACKLES DIRECTS – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) investigate the mysterious death of a girl and the disappearance of another. Jensen Ackles directed the episode written by Davy Perez (#1501). Original Airdate 11/7/2019.

Written by: Davy Perez

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate: 11/7

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-spoilers-atomic-monsters-description-photos/197700/

Promo: https://youtu.be/YjEHDwocD9M

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict 

Other Spoilers/info:

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn't exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn't acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn't always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt. UPDATE- it sounds like Becky’s voice in the Shaving People, Punting things trailer. 

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Dean will be in the bunker in tactical equipment with a BEARD- fighting someone

 Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: RICHARD SPEIGHT, JR. DIRECTS – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean’s (Jensen Ackles) routine case turns out to be anything but. Richard Speight, Jr. directed the episode written by Steve Yockey (#1505). Original Airdate 11/14/2019.

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/14

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info::

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing. 

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene. 

The bible verse referenced is: “The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: But the LORD trieth the hearts.”

 Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/21

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info:

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas. 

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

At least Jensen and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment 

This will be a witch episode- Witches will invade Rowena’s apartment looking for books. They are very powerful. Dean gets thrown into a wall and Sam uses magic to stop them (from TVGuide)

 Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info :

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume, so are the shoes a one off? Another outfit with new shoes?)

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised?  Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy. 

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home.

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to. 

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention.

Per TVGuide, Leo and Dean will have a wild night out in an effort for Dean to recapture his mojo. Dean will become the lead of a band called Dean and the Impalas, which is made up of Supernatural crew. 

Osric Chau popped over to set, but he is filming on Legends of Tomorrow in the same studio. Sebastin Roche also indicated he would come by, he is filming on Batgirl. Unfortunately, neither Kevin or Balthazar will appear in this one. 

  Episode 15x08

Title: Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  10/8- 10/18 (no filming 10/14 for Canadian Thanksgiving)

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: Jake Abel, Shoshannah Stern

Other Spoilers/info:

Jake Abel posted a script with the caption “hell hath no fury like a brother scorned”

Shoshannah Stern was spotted on set- Eileen!

This will be the midseason finale

At BurCon, Misha mentioned Dean is still acting like “a dick” in the ep they were filming- which is this one. 

 Episode 15x09

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Berens

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  10/21-10/30

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? not sure yet Jack ? mmmmmaaaayyybbbbeeee?

Guest stars: Rob Benedict, Kim Rhodes, Jim Beaver

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Midseason premier episode

The story will be about Sam and Dean as heroes from the good and bad side (from MarySue)

Misha was at home for the first week of filming

Alex and Rob were hanging out- Chuck and JACK?

Kim Rhodes posted in front of the SPN set- Jody?She also had dyed hair and she has been rockin the grey for the past few Jody eps. Maybe a flashback/AU?

Jim Beaver posted from set- Bobby!

Episode 15x10

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showalter

Filming Dates:  

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

#supernatural #spn spoilers #spn season 15 #spoiler sheet

[vertebralheights]

REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog  !  good  luck  !

TAGGED. Redoing this from uhhh last year almost. TAGGING. Yeet

BASICS.

FULL NAME: MV Boli Dingbat

NICKNAME:  Bo

AGE: It’s really hard to gauge but lets just call it mid-twenties, but she’s been alive for much much longer.

BIRTHDAY: It honestly has changed like.  100 times?  Currently it’s February 18th.

ETHNIC GROUP: Skeleton monster.

NATIONALITY: Undergroundian

LANGUAGE(S): English, Dingbats.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demiromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS:  Technically this is verse dependent but her main verse squeeze is an absolute meme.

CLASS: Prodigiously lower-class.

HOMETOWN / AREA: She doesn’t remember what it was called.  She lived near the Capital, Maybe in Hotland?  She doesn’t remember much before Vertebral Heights.

CURRENT HOME: Vertebral Heights, a city with a dwindling skeleton population.

PROFESSION: Unemployed with no benefits!

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: That would be weird.

EYES: White most of the time, sometimes they’re ooky spooky green/teal.

NOSE:  Set nose to NO.

FACE:  Bean-shaped.

LIPS:  No thanks.

COMPLEXION: Bo has kinda yellower, slightly off color bones from lack of light and access to bone polish. 

BLEMISHES: She has a sternal foramen, a genetic abnormality. 

SCARS: None

Tattoos: How?

HEIGHT:  5'5″

WEIGHT:  Like.  12 Pounds?

BUILD: She’s very slim.  If her bones had flesh on them there wouldn’t be that much of a change in physique.

FEATURES:  No flesh.

ALLERGIES: Hard to have allergies without lungs, blood, or organs.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: ???

USUAL FACE LOOK: A relaxed and placid smile, eyes wide but also very tired looking.

USUAL CLOTHING: She has one pair of dark jeans that she wears and a variety of t shirts, most of which are black or have funny sayings on them.  She usually wears a green flannel shirt tied around her waist.  She never wears shoes, and always wears a black stocking-hat beanie.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): Losing her friends/family and being completely alone.

ASPIRATION(S) : Learning how to use her magic and her other skills to the best ability that she can to protect people and solve problems.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Clever, friendly, creative, intelligent, compassionate.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Depressed, mildly nihilistic, no regard for personal care or safety, anti-authoritarian (not really a BAD trait but it hasn’t gotten her anywhere)

ZODIAC: Aquarius!

TEMPERAMENT: Generally, she’s very good natured and friendly.

SOUL TYPE(S):  Monster Soul, her ‘trait’ is Idiosyncrasy.

ANIMALS:  If she were an animal she’s probably be something rat a possum or a rat.  

VICE  HABIT(S): She does them botha lot less, but she used to drink to excess and smoke a lot.  But since taking in Lark and becoming happier with her life, she’s cut down on those habits a lot.  She still drinks on occasion (to have fun more than to drown her sorrows) and she still smokes when she’s really stressed/overworked.

FAITH: It comes and goes.

GHOSTS?: They’re lovely.

AFTERLIFE?: It happens for some people.

REINCARNATION?: Yes, she knows it can be done.

ALIENS?: God, she hopes so.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Anarchist???????

ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE: Money would be cool.

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: Pro environment and pro-monster rights.  Anti-Capitalist.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Uhhh the 4th Grade???  She stopped after her parents vanished.  Had a lot of advanced education from her parents as supplement to her education.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Dr. Zapfino Dingbat ✝️

MOTHER: Dr. Lucida Dingbat ✝️

SIBLINGS: Cooper Dingbat ✝️

EXTENDED FAMILY:  She has an adopted child, Lark, who she’s had for about two years.

NAME MEANING(S): It’s a font, chosen from a big book of 5000 fonts based on what an old skeleton said she should be named.  I dunno, the lore is fuzzy.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: Her parents were a part of an initiative during the war that took human bodies and turned them into monster warriors via skeleton resurrection.  It was semi-successful.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Bo doesn’t have a favorite, but she does have a pretty sizable collection of do-it-yourself books on a variety of subjects, as well as a few music books, and a very well-read book on plumbing.

MOVIE: Can’t recall ever seeing one?  Lmao she’s only ever had radios.

5 SONGS: Thrift Shop, Planetary Go, Seashore, Love Like You, and Polka Covers or literally any song ever made.

DEITY: Johannes Gutenberg, creator of fonts and typeface.  But that’s mostly a joke.  

HOLIDAY: All holidays are just variation of the prime holiday... H A L L O W E E N.

MONTH:  They all seem to be the same for her.

SEASON: Fall or Winter, probably.  

PLACE: Cities and Caves.

WEATHER: Overcast and on the cool side.

SOUND: The accordion, harmonica (most instruments, really)  the sound of certain people’s laughter, the sound of a dry erase marker on a white board.

SCENT(S):  Brass, pine trees, hospital antispetic, food cooking, weirdly, trash.

TASTE(S): Soy sauce, vegetable broth, white rice.

FEEL(S):  Cool metal, small clicking buttons, flannel,

ANIMAL(S): Rats, Possums, Mice, Raccoons, Badgers, pretty much anything that’s kinda... Scrappy.

NUMBER: 11.  I wrote 11 last year and I still don’t know why.  Why 11.

COLORS: Green!

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Figuring out and playing instruments, reverse engineering machinery, rock climbing, singing, somehow turning all food she cooks into fried rice.

BAD AT:  Cooking anything that isn’t fried rice, public speaking/singing, believing in herself.

HOBBIES: Tinkering with instruments and appliances, learning new shit, pestering her loved ones, exploring caves.

TROPES:  Satisfied Street Rat, Always Save The Boy, Family of Choice, Undead Barefooter, Wrench Wench

AESTHETIC TAGS:  #cities, #green, #neon, #abandoned

GPOY  QUOTES: My only crime is that I was down to clown.

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): None, I just draw her.

ALT FC(S): Seriously, I just draw her.

OLDER FC(S): Seriously-

YOUNGER  FC(S): sTOP

VOICE CLAIM(S): I’ve been at war with what she sounds like for what feels like eons.  I’m currently on a kick with Sara Gilbert, but I think Bo would be way less monotone than Sara.  I dunno, I usually just think of my own voice with a slightly different accent and inflection. 

GENDERBENT FC(S): 

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?:  It’s an absurd comedy.  Stephen Chow is directing it.  There are ridiculous fight scenes and cult-classic humor.  It has absurd montages and weirdly placed rock ballad musical numbers.  It’s honestly not very good.

Q2: what would their soundtrack / score sound like?:  Bo’s sountrack is all 8-bit chiptune music, kazoo covers, polka remixes, and hard rock.

Q3: why did you start writing this character?: I started in 2015, took a big break, picked her up again in 2018, took a smaller break, picked her up again here in the tail end of 2019.

Q4: what first attracted you to this character?:  I loved Undertale and Skeletons.  Wanted to make a skelesona, loved to rp, decided to mix the two, got rid of the ‘sona’ part and here we are.

Q5: describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse:  I wrote this last year and it’s still true, She can be a little inconsistent depending on who I’m writing with.  She changes a lot, writing partner/muse to muse.  Also I don’t ever want to make her as depressed as I’ve written her in the past.

Q6: what do you have in common with your muse?: Too many things honestly, Bo started as a self inset.  We’re pretty different now, but we dress the same.  The biggest one is one I’m trying to dial back on, which is the mental illness.

Q8: what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?: I’ve branched out even LESS that the last time I filled this out.  Currently it’s just.  Tumblr user bonepranks.

Q9: what gives you inspiration to write your muse?:  Listening to fight-y music, watching Undertale comic dubs, talking about her to people.

Q10: how long did this take you to complete?:  Eh, not that long.  Most of this was filled out already.

[deamstellarus]

A Touch of Ink (5)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Date Attempt #2

Word Count: 4604

Warnings: Uhm, fluff and some maybe intense-ish (not really) kissing?

A/N: I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I rambled a bit and some parts aren’t really necessary but it is what it is I suppose. Next chapter will be super fluffy though!

Series Masterlist | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4

Chapter 5:

“I should probably get going soon,” you said, still straddling his lap with your head lying on his shoulder. “You probably have an early morning.”

He hugged you to him a little tighter then relaxed his hold on you. This close you could see the shades of blue that made up his eyes, the ring of navy that outline his irises, the flecks of grey with tiny specks of green. You could get lost in them. He leaned forward and kissed your cheek.

“Thank you, for going with the change of plans,” he smiled. “How about we try again next week? I mean, how quickly could Becs be sick again right?” He chuckled.

“That’s true. But really, it’s not a big deal, Buck.” You kiss him on the nose, then got off of him and the couch to stand. You adjusted your shirt while Bucky stood up. You grabbed your keys and phone off the counter before turning back to him. He stood by the door with his hands in his pockets, head down with a hint of a smile on his face. You walked back to him.

“I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?” you asked. His head popped up.

“Yeah, of course. I'll text you...or call you. Whichever you prefer.” You couldn't help but giggle at his nervousness.

“I'll see you tomorrow then.” He wrapped his arms around you for the second time that night, and pulled you into his embrace. A few moments later, he reluctantly released you and opened the door. You gave him one last smile before slipping through and heading for the stairwell, hearing the door close behind you.

As you walked down the hall, you ran into a wall of muscle. You looked up into the face of Steve, who seemed exhausted.

“Sorry, Steve. Didn't see you there. Long day?”

“Yeah, it’s been- wait, weren’t you supposed to have a date with Bucky tonight?” You couldn’t stop the smile on your face when you nodded. “Well, that’s great!”

Steve pulled you into a side hug before he yawned and practically unhinged his jaw. You laughed.

“Get some sleep Steve.” You gave him a little push toward his door. “Have a good night.”

You unlocked your own door, and once inside, leaned against it. Your mind ran through the “date” and you couldn’t help but smile. You loved everything about it. Unconventional first date, sure, but Bucky is wonderful and Noah is adorable and you honestly couldn’t wait for your next date.

You went to bed with a smile on your face.

“Y/N! I’m so sorry your date had to be cancelled the other day!” Becca caught you the moment you walked into the bookstore. “I was just so sick on Wednesday. It’s not his fault. You should give him another cha-”

“Becca, calm down,” you interrupted. “We still had our date. It was just a date for three instead of two.”

“Oh. Oh.” Becca’s eyes were wide. “Well that’s...that’s really great, Y/N. How was it?”

“It was really nice. Bucky cooked. We had lasagna, and afterward we played with Noah and watched a kids’ movie before Noah went to bed. It was all very sweet.”

“Aww! And after Noah went to bed?” Becca quirked an eyebrow at you.

“We talked. Mostly about our pasts. I learned about Dot? She seemed amazing.”

“She was.” Becca said, a distant look in her eye.

“He told me how she died… and how her family treats him and Noah.”

Since that night, you couldn't help but be heartbroken, not only for Bucky, but for Noah. He's so young, and to have a family that will not put aside differences to visit him is so sad. Luckily, he has a good family here, made up of members of this quiet little town.

“They're...something else.” Becca shook her head to clear it. “Well I'm glad you had a good time. Are you seeing each other again soon?”

“Yup! We talked about trying again next week? And meeting up when we can before that.”

“I knew you'd be perfect together!” Becca gushed.

“Slow down there. We’re not officially together or anything. I think we're taking it slow? Just dating for now.”

“But you like him?” she asked. The warmth had returned to your cheeks.

“Yeah, I like him. I really do.” Becca grinned at you.

“So are you in for coffee or books today?” You’d almost forgotten why you were at the Hideout in the first place.

“I’m actually here for a little research. I’m trying to find books about fantasy and myths?”

“Oh? What are you doing that requires that kind of research?”

“It’s for a project I’m working on. I could just as easily look up references and whatnot on the internet, but I like to find books on the topics sometimes. A bit of history to get a better understanding of the subject.”

“Huh. Whelp, the selection is kind of small, but it would be this way. Follow me.” Becca came around out from behind the counter and you followed her down one of the aisles. She stopped abruptly in the middle of a bookcase. “These top three rows are pretty much all we have on folklore and fantasy and myths, that aren’t exclusively in the children’s section.

“That’s alright. Thanks so much Becca!” She left and you browsed through the selection until you found a large book with a red spine. Fairy Tales, Folk Lores, and Myths: The Guide to Another Realm.  Huh. Pretty cheesy title, but as you flipped through the pages, there were visual references as well as elaborate stories and tales about magic, adventure, and love. You didn’t know how long you were sat on the floor thumbing through the pages until someone startled you. Becca giggled.  

“Sorry! I’m going to grab some lunch, so I’m going to close the store for a bit. Want to come with me?”

“Lunch?” You checked at your phone for the time and realized it was already past noon. “Oh wow, I didn’t think I’d been here that long. Sure, I probably should eat something before I starve.”

“Sam never said you were dramatic.”

“That’s because he’s always been the bigger drama queen and he knows it.” She held out a hand to help you off the floor, and your bones ached as you stood up. Your muscles were sore. “Wow, remind me not to do that again,” you laughed.

“Sure thing. Come on.”

The two of you went over to Tony’s, where Wanda was your waitress. She practically squealed when you came in.

“Oh! How was the date? Give me all the details! Don’t leave anything out! Please? Aren’t we friends, Y/N?” She pouted with the biggest green puppy eyes you’d ever seen.

“Yes, fine, sure.” You laughed at Wanda took a seat next to Becca in the booth. “Well, it was nice. Bucky cooked dinner, and it was delicious. Then we watched a kids’ movie and played with Noah until it was his bedtime. And then we talked. About our pasts and whatnot. And then we kissed.”

“What?” both exclaimed simultaneously.

“What do you mean you played with Noah until bedtime? I thought Becca was babysitting him?” Wanda said, leaning forward and pouting in frustration.

“She was really sick, and he couldn’t find another babysitter on such short notice.”

“And you were okay with that?”

“Honestly? Yeah. I like Noah a lot and he’s not rowdy or obnoxious. He’s sweet and loves his dad. It was a nice dinner.”

“You didn’t tell me you kissed, Y/N,” Becca said, her face unreadable.

“Sorry. Is that a problem?”

“Um, not really? It’s more surprising than anything else. Bucky hasn’t kissed anyone since Dot.” Your eyes went wide at that. “He’s been on dates before but they never went very far, and certainly didn’t generate enough chemistry to kiss.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t know. In the moment, it just felt right. I really like him, guys.” They had matching soft eyes and smiles on their faces.

“That’s great, Y/N. I think Bucky really likes you too,” Becca said as she reached across the tale and put a hand over yours.

“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious with the way he makes heart eyes at you,” Wanda giggled. Becca checked her watch.

“Hey, let’s order something. I have to get back to the shop soon.” You both ordered and soon your food arrived. Halfway through your meal, Becca placed a to-go order. You looked at her questioningly.

“This is for Bucky. I usually bring him lunch on Fridays and he brings me lunch on Mondays. We’ve done this since he started at Black Widow, when he forgot to bring food and he was super busy one Friday afternoon, so like the perfect sister I am,” you rolled your eyes at that, “I brought him lunch. The following Monday, I was really grumpy because it was raining and I had a headache and he saw me through the window looking otherwise... pathetic, I’ll admit it. I hate Mondays and the rain just messes with my mood. Anyway, he saw me and brought me lunch and it did cheer me up, and the habit kind of just stuck.”

“That’s really sweet, Becs.”

“Yeah, yeah. Well I love him. We were really close as kids, even when he started highschool and I was still in 4th grade. He never really excluded me and let me join him and his friends when they played football and stuff in the backyard, and let me come with them when they went out to get ice cream during the summer. We’ve always been close. Me and Steve too, to be honest. They’ve been best friends since they were in diapers, and I basically grew up with him too. It’s like I have a second brother.” She rolled her eyes at the grin on your face. “Anyway, let’s get going. He’s probably starving. It’s a tad later than I usually drop off his food.”

The two of you went to the counter and paid for your food, then headed across the street to the tattoo shop. On the way there though, an older woman stopped Becca, frantic about how some book on crocheting plush toys lied to her or something and she needed a new gift for her grandson. Becca tried to calm her down, but it wasn’t an easy feat.

“Hey Y/N, will you run this in to Buck? I gotta go help Mrs. Mugillicutty before she has a heart attack,” Becca said, handing you over the bag of food. Without waiting for a response, she left you to calm down the old women.

“Sure Becs, no problem,” you muttered under your breath. You stopped in front of the shop. You couldn’t see Bucky from the window. He must be in the back or something. There didn’t appear to be anyone else was there but Bucky would be expecting Becca to bring him lunch, right? You steeled your nerves that came out of nowhere and pushed open the shop door. A little bell overhead rang out as you entered.

“I’ll be with you in a minute!” A voice from the back called out.

You took the opportunity to wander around the tattoo parlor. There was a sitting area in the front that consisted of a couch and a couple chairs, and a coffee table with magazines. The front desk had a big binder flipped open to a couple elaborate tattoo designs. As you got closer, you heard...snoring? You peaked your head behind the desk and were greeted with the sleepy face of a yellow lab. He reminded you of your family dog back home. Ahead of your were two tattoo stations with chairs that reminded you of a dentist seat. At the station you saw Bucky at that first night, there were papers with hand-drawn designs on a corkboard on the wall. You took a step closer to the drawings when one caught your eye. It was one of the few that was drawn with ink instead of graphite. It was a mandala, but it was formed out of flower petals compared to the geometric shapes you’ve seen before.

“Hey, Becs. Sorry, I wa-.” Bucky stopped mid-sentence. The grin on his face when he saw you initiated the butterflies in your stomach. “Y/N! What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you.”

“Hi. I uhm… Becca! She sent me over with this.” You handed him the bag from Tony’s and watched as his eyes lit up.

“Oh my gosh. Thanks! I’m starving. Noah was slow getting up this morning and I barely got him out the door with breakfast, but I didn’t have any time to eat something myself..”

“Oh, well I’m happy I could bring it over.”

“I’m happy to see you again.” He set the bag down on the stool at his station, then turned back to you, reaching out to hold your hand. “I had a good time the other night.”

“Me too.” You couldn’t stop the smile on your face.

“Honestly, I don’t want to wait until Wednesday to see you again. How about tomorrow night? My parents could probably watch Noah. What do you say?” You were almost distracted by the twinkle in his eye.

“Tomorrow is perfect.”

“Great!” He pulled you into him and kissed your forehead, just as you heard the bell over the door ring.

“Hey! Get a room!” Clint said, walking in with Natasha. He went over to the dog you’d seen earlier, with a small to-go bag in his hand. The dog got up and his tail wagged like crazy. Clint pulled a slice of pizza out of the bag, holding in front of the dog’s face for a moment before it was snatched out of his hand. The dog went back to the dog bed and happily chewed on the pizza.

“Is that good for him?” you asked.

“Who, Lucky? Lucky loves pizza. It’s how I found him, by the harbour, eating pizza from an abandoned box behind the pizzeria.

“Huh. He’s cute,” you said, slightly concerned for his eating habits, but he seemed happy and content so who were you to judge.

“Oh he’s the best!”

“What brings you here?” Natasha said.

“Oh! Just brought him lunch, from Becca.” Natasha hummed in response then turned and headed to the back of the store..

“I don’t think she likes me very much,” you whispered to Bucky. He laughed in response.

“She’s like that to most people. She’s actually pretty nice, and fiercely loyal. She just comes off a bit rough. If she didn’t like you, you’d know it.”

Oh. “Okay, well I’ll let you get back to lunch and work!” You went on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow!”

“So what do you think?”

“This place is beautiful in the moonlight.”

You and Bucky were walking hand in hand down the boardwalk. You’d just had dinner at a little restaurant by the harbour. The dinner was nice, but the company was better. Bucky’s hand found yours multiple times throughout the night and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d laughed so much. He insisted on paying the bill when it came, but when he suggested getting ice cream on the boardwalk afterward, you slipped the cashier the money before he could. “Fair is Fair,” you’d told him. With ice cream in hand, the two of you strolled by the boats in the harbour, looking out at the water. The waves were smaller than when you’d seen them in the daytime and the water seemed to be glittering.

“I can’t believe you grew up with this just outside your door. Well, essentially.” Bucky chuckled.

“Yeah, it was great. Becca and I rode out on my dad’s boat practically every other weekend.” His thumb drew circles on your hand as he held it. “I could take you out on the water sometime if you’d like.”

“Really? That’d be amazing!”

You stood at the end of the dock by the lighthouse for a while until a breeze blew by, causing a shiver to run up your spine. Bucky noticed and shrugged off his leather jacket, placing it on your shoulders. You slipped your arms into the sleeves and were instantly surrounded by the smell of leather, sandalwood, and… Bucky. You burrowed yourself into the jacket as much as you could, savoring the warmth. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“Let’s get you back home. It’s pretty chilly out here.”

When you arrived back at your apartment building, you waited for the elevator to come down to the first floor.

“I’m not ready for the night to end just yet,” you said, gazing up into his eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Uhm.. do you want to come back to my place? I have some wine and beer, or coffee and tea, if you’d like.” You hoped you didn’t sound too eager.

“Yes!” He blurted. He coughed, clearing his throat. “I mean, yeah, that’d be great.” Once inside your apartment, you told him to make himself at home. “What would you like to drink?”

“You don’t have to make anything special for me, just whatever you’re having.”

When you came back into the living room, Bucky was looking at the pictures on your wall. There was a photograph of you and Sam from when you were about four and Sam was seven, posing in your Halloween costumes. You’d gone as Minnie and Mickey that year for the annual Halloween party your mom throws. You handed him the bug of tea and he thanked you.

“You were adorable!”

“Were? Am I not adorable now?” You quipped back, quirking your eyebrow at him. Bucky’s eyes went wide, and his mouth opened and closed several times like a fish.

“I’m just kidding Bucky. I’ll admit, Sammy and I were pretty cute kids,” you said, taking a seat on the couch.

“I’d say you’re pretty cute now,” he said as he sat next to you. He put his mug on the coffee table and placed his arm on the back of the couch behind you. You took a tip of your tea, then set your mug on the coffee table.

“Well aren’t you sweet.”

He glanced at your lips before looking back into your eyes. Before you knew it, you were leaning into each other and your lips connected. His lips were warm, much like the first time you’d kissed a few days earlier. Unlike the first time though, this kiss was thorough and you melted into it. You cupped his face with your hands, fingers grazing the scruff on his face. His arms went around your waist, holding you to him. His strong hands lifted you from your position beside him to seat you on his lap, legs straddling his thighs. A position you noticed he prefered. His fingers gripped your hips, not too tight to leave a mark, but enough to let him feel in control. You pulled away for a second, gasping for breath as you remembered you had to breathe. You rested your forehead to his, peeking at his closed eyes. You held onto his shoulders as he let go of you and leaned forward to take off his button up and throw it over the arm of the couch, which left him in a dark t-shirt that showed off his tattoos. His eyes finally met yours again and you could see some hesitance of what you were doing. You ran a hand through his chestnut hair.

“We can just keep doing this, we don’t have to go any further. This is plenty for now, alright?” You kissed his cheek. “Is this okay?” you whispered, hoping that you hadn’t crossed some line or pushed him too far.

He nodded, grinning back at you. “More than okay.”

You bent your head down and he reached up, his lips captured your once again.

“Have you ever thought of getting one?”

You were lying together on your couch, your head on his chest. His arm was around you, his thumb drawing circles onto your side through your shirt.

“One what?” you asked, tilting your head up to see his face.

“A tattoo. When I found you in the shop yesterday, you were looking at some of the designs I’ve done for people. Have you ever thought of getting one yourself?

“To be honest, I have, once or twice. But I’m too scared. Not of needles or anything, just the pain. My tolerance is not the highest and I bruise easy.” Bucky hummed at your response. “But I have imagined getting something that was drawn for me, you know? Like a unique piece that had a meaning behind it or connected me to someone.” You shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe someday I’ll get something.”

“Well, when you do decide to get one, I’d be thrilled to do the honors.”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to do it.” You pulled his arm around you a bit more to get a closer look at the images.

“If you wanted to see them, you could've just asked.” He laughed softly.

He turned in his spot, holding you by your arms to sit you up with him. He took off the t-shirt he was wearing and you gasped slightly at his bare skin. You reached out and lightly traced the edge of where the sleeve began at the top of his shoulder. A green and red dragon curled its way down half the length of Bucky’s arm, with its curved neck at his shoulder. The skin there was a little bumpy compared to the smoothness a couple inches underneath it.

“That's part of the scar. When I decided I wanted something to cover the scars, I told Stevie I wanted something that would cover a large majority in one go. He came back a couple days later with the dragon. He’d really gotten into art history in high school and drew in all different styles he read about on the internet. I guess the dragon was something that stuck in his mind because it ended up working perfectly and Nat did a great job.”

On the underside of his forearm, a set of three red roses bloomed on his skin, textured and made to appear real. You traced your fingertips around the green leaves filling out the empty spaces.

“Roses were Dot’s favorite. She used to say, ‘I know they’re overrated but they smell so nice.’ It seemed like a less cheesy way to remember her, you know?” You hummed in agreement.

On the inside of his bicep, just below the dragon’s head, was the phrase, “‘Till the end of the line,” written in a pretty script that contrasted with the other colorful designs on his skin.

“It's something Steve and I used to say to each other. It meant that we’d always have each others’ backs. You wouldn't believe me, looking at him now, but Steve was a tiny kid and got picked on a lot by the older kids, and stuck up for others who got bullied. They'd knock him down and he’d get right back up again with bruises already forming and a cut lip. So I'd jump in because he's my best friend and I can't let him get beat up alone. Then when we both joined the firehouse, it meant even more in the field. Steve has a matching one on his right bicep actually. It was one of the first tattoos I ever did, but it’s technically Steve’s handwriting.”

“‘Till the end of the line.’ I like that. Feels nostalgic somehow,” you said. “Can’t really imagine Steve as anything close to tiny though.”

You turned his arm over to look at the last tattoo that took up the majority of the front of his forearm. It was of ocean waves, rough and choppy with a lighthouse in the background.

“This one isn’t as sentimental as the others. I’ve always loved the water though, I grew up on it, so I like having it permanently a part of me. The lighthouse though is the same one down by the harbor. Lights the way home, my dad would say. Stevie drew something similar to this one day and I knew I wanted it on my arm.”

“Wow, it seems like Steve has drawn most of your tattoos.”

“Well he is the better artist. He’s been drawing as long as I could remember. There used to be a time where you couldn’t find him without his sketchbook nearby.”

“Well, I appreciate his artistic eye,” you said. You laid back down on the couch together, your body snuggled into his side. In the silence, with your head on his chest, you could hear his heart beating fast.

“Do they bother you? The tattoos, or even the scars?” When you glanced at him, you could tell he was nervous about your answer.

“I think they're all beautiful, James. I think anyone who thinks differently is wrong,” you whispered, not wanting to break the comfortable quiet you were in. You caressed his chest absent-mindedly.

“I haven’t really dated since the accident,” Bucky said. “Nat and Stevie have tried to set me up with people before. To “get back out there” they said, but it never worked out. I would go out on the date, usually meeting them at Tony’s but by halfway through dinner, I’d want to leave. I found myself comparing them to Dot, their personalities, how they laughed, what they looked like, what their interests were. Sometimes, they’d see the tattoos and would judge me, not openly talking about them, but they’d eye the bits of ink peeking out from my shirtsleeve and a look of disgust would flash across their face before they corrected it. And then there’s the fact that I have Noah, and what young person wants to be in a relationship with a man who already has a son? By the end of the night... I would feel awful. I would feel like I wasted their time, and mine…” He took a deep breath, but when he exhaled, it was shaky. “The worst part was that I felt like I was cheating on Dot. Like what I was doing, dating other people, was seen as trying to replace her.”

“Oh James…” You stroked the side of his neck.

“She was the love of my life, the mother of my son. I felt like I was...was disgracing her memory or something.”

His arms around your waist tensed for a moment before they loosened. You leaned back in his hold to look up at his face. His hand went to your cheek, thumb absently brushing your skin as he stared into your eyes.

“But then I met you. Well, heard about you first, briefly, from an energetic six year old.” He chuckled. “But when I first met you at the Hideout? I think I even surprised myself that day how at ease I  was and comfortable I felt around you.” He leaned forward and kissed your forehead. “I don’t want to scare you, or put too much on you...I know I have a lot of baggage...but I like you. And I think you like me too.” You rolled your eyes at that but smiled at him. “I don't want to rush into things, but I’d really like to see where this goes. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you be my girl?”

[Chapter 6]

#Bucky Barnes x Reader #Modern AU #TattooArtist!Bucky #Fluff #Tooth-Rotting Fluff #a bit of angst #and more fluff #avengers fic #marvel fanfiction #A Touch of Ink

[nadjastersurveys]

Looks and Personality

What do you look like? First of all, I’m pretty bad at describing myself but I’ll give it a try: I have straight black hair that reaches my boobs, pretty small and dark brown eyes, medium sized nose (I guess) and plump lips lmao. My face shape is square-ish and people say my face in general is pretty unique looking? I’m 150cm (so about 4′11′’) and I’m normal weight.

How often do you bathe? I shower about every other day. Sometimes more rarely if I’m feeling lazy and I have no plans to go anywhere lol.

How do you wear your hair? It’s either down or in a high ponytail. Most of the days it’s up. If I’m feeling FRISKY I’ll put it on a lazy bun but it happens rarely lmao.

What colours do you tend to wear? Black, white and grey are the most common colors. Sometimes I like mixing black and white with bright colors as well.

Do you have any tattoos? What, where and why? I don’t have any and I don’t think I ever will but you never know.

What kind of clothes do you wear? I love wearing sweatpants and sweaters. I also like sports tights and hoodies. My style is pretty chill I guess.

What kind of jewelery do you wear? The only jewelry I wear are my earrings and my nose ring. Every other jewelry like necklaces, bracelets or rings feel really annoying and always on my way haha. Also they don’t really fit with my clothing style.

Is there anything else you often wear? I can’t think of anything else.

Would you say you had a “look”? Not really, I guess I haven’t found my own style yet.

When going out, do you dress up or down? I don’t know what the question means? What does dressing up or down mean?

What do you wear to bed at home? Depends if it’s hot or cold obviously. When it’s cold I usually wear sweatpants with a t-shirt. In summertime I like wearing a top or a short sleeve t-shirt with either shorts or my underwear.

What do you wear to bed when you’re somewhere else? The same I wear when I’m at home I guess? I don’t think I would sleep just in a top and underwear though.

Is there a place you keep any prized/secret things whilst you’re away? Nah

What’s your favourite food? I love pasta and chicken.

What’s your favourite drink? I drink a lot of energy drinks nowadays but I wouldn’t say they’re my favorite though. I like tea, coffee and cold water.

What’s your favourite dessert? Ice cream, different sweet pies and cheesecake

What’s your favourite type of food (e.g Mexican)? Italian and Indian food.

Do you have any mental problems? I don’t think so.

Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? I have a phobia of outer space. I’m afraid of it simply because it’s terrifying lol. I remember it probably started when we had a field trip to a planetarium in 3rd or 4th grade? That’s when I realized really what’s surrounding us and this planet and I was crying and covering my ears almost the whole time the show lasted hahaha.

Why might somebody dislike you? Because I’m annoying. Like sometimes I just don’t know how to shut up and don’t know when to stop joking. I can be pretty hyperactive sometimes also which can annoy people.

What skill do you possess that you are most proud of? I try to be understanding towards others. I don’t judge people easily because I  know that people are different, have different lives and have different opinions/tastes/thoughts/whatever and I respect them even though I might not agree with them.

What is your greatest strength (e.g. honest, loyal, brave)? I’m trustworthy.

What’s your greatest shortcoming or flaw (e.g. cowardly, alcoholic)? I’m really competitive and a sore loser hahaha. Especially when i was a bit younger. When we were playing board games with my family and I didn’t win the game I sometimes threw the whole game to a wall and got mad at everyone LOL.

Who do you most admire? I don’t know. I admire my parents? They’re hardworking and loving.

Who do you most love? My parents, siblings and my friends.

What three things do you look for most in a partner? I like people who make me laugh, kind people and people I can trust.

Do you like crowds? I don’t like being part of a crowd, no.

What are your hobbies? I’m a dancer and I love watching movies.

If you can’t get to sleep in the middle of the night, what do you do? I’ll do something on my phone like watch couple videos on YouTube.

What is your favourite animal? Cats. I also think bunnies are super cute and charming. One of my friends has a bunny and I love petting him.

What is your favourite colour? Purple.

If you could ask God (to athiests - IF there was one) one question, what? I can’t think of any important questions now lol.

Background

Where were you born and raised? I was born in China. I was adopted to a country in the northern part of Europe and that’s where I live now.

Briefly describe your family. I have four siblings (two brothers, two sisters) and I live with three of them and with my parents. We all get along really well and we’re pretty close and happy family and I feel really lucky because of that.

You must choose one - your childhood was calm/peaceful or tragic/turbulent? It was mostly pretty calm (but I wasn’t haha, I was a really hyperactive kid) but I was bullied in elementary school quite a lot so that didn’t make my elementary school years that enjoyable as they should’ve been. But it was not tragic or turbulent, I was happy, laughing and smiling most of the time and I had friends and great hobbies.

Did you have any role models? Not really.

What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? Nothing super tragic has ever happened to me luckily but the bullying was pretty bad for me.

How did it affect you? I didn’t want to think about school during my free time because it reminded me of the insults I got to hear almost everyday there. So I didn’t really do my homework or study for tests and I got into trouble because of that quite a lot haha.

Have you ever had any recurring nightmares or themes in nightmares? No, I rarely have nightmares and I’ve forgotten the ones that I’ve had.

What were they? ^

Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No.

Do you have any close friends? I have five close friends.

Briefly describe your best friend: I don’t have one best friend, all of them^ are the best haha. But all of them are really fun to be around with and we have similar interests since all of us are dancers for example.

Any enemies? I don’t have any.

Who? What are they like?

-

Would you risk your life for your best friend? (not lover or family member!) I don’t know :( I’m really afraid of dying and I’ve never even been in a situation where I had to make a choice between my health or my friend lol.

With who was your most important romantic relationship? I’ve never dated anyone.

Of what are you most proud? I’m proud that I’ve helped my friends and been there for them through their hard times.

Of what are you most ashamed? There’s many things I’m ashamed of :( But one thing is that I can’t stand up for myself and I get offended easily.

Alignment, Ethics and Religion

What is your religion? I’m not religious.

Where do you stand on abortion? Pro-choice.

Where do you stand on the death penalty? I’m against it in every situation.

Where do you stand on wearing fur? I hate it lmao. You could never see me wear fur.

Do you have a moral code that you follow? What? I’m sure I have.

Could you kill somebody? If I felt my life was being threatened and protecting myself was the only option then yes? I wouldn't murder anyone though?

For what reason would you kill somebody? Well, self-defense.

Would you SERIOUSLY CONSIDER killing anybody right now? No I don’t have a reason to, I don’t feel threatened lol.

Do you trust easily, or not? I trust pretty easily, which can be a mistake.

What are your political beliefs (anarchy, communism, democracy etc.)? I don’t know, I’m not into politics that much and tbh I don’t know anything about it lmao.

What, if anything, WOULD you sacrifice your life for? I’m not sure.

Would you ever, for any reason, abandon your friends in an hour of need? I don’t think so.

Motivation

What are your dreams/ambitions/goals? To study something I’m interested in. Which I don’t know what it could be, I don’t have a dream job or anything like that.

How do you plan to reach them? First I would have to find out what my dream is lol. Then work for it I guess.

How would your ideal partner look? I don’t know, I don’t have a preference.

Do you ever want to have a family someday? With children? I love kids but I don’t know if I want to have my own. But I have plenty of time to think about it.

Who would you want to start this family with, or do you not yet know? I don’t know yet, obviously.

What would stop you from reaching your goals (e.g. death, retirement fund)? I don’t have goals hahaha I don’t know.

What do you see yourself doing next year? Studying in high school.

What do you see yourself doing in twenty years? I don’t know. But I would love to have a nice relationship and a nice job lol.

Would you ever have an affair? Definitely not.

Would you ever have a one night stand? No.

What are your greatest fears? Failing in life, losing people I love. You know, stuff like that.

More information

If you had a month of nothing (no work, no obligations) what would you do? I have a year of nothing now since I’m not in school atm. But all I’ve done is spend time on my laptop hahahahaha. I don’t know what I even want to do tbh.

How do you relax? Watch YouTube, do some stretching, lay on my bed, sleep, take surveys, watch movies.

What one thing would you change in this world (free Tibet, abolish Sweden)? Make everyone treated equally.

Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk? I’m not sure. It sounds appealing to be a hero I guess haha. But I don’t think I would do it.

Why? Because I’m a scaredy cat lol.

How would you like to be remembered after your death? Just someone who was nice to people.

Random questions

Where you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No.

How did they affect you?

-

Do you have any famous relatives? I don’t.

Do you have to try and live up to your family’s expectations? Yeah sure.

Are you a loyal member of any organizations? I’m not.

General Information

Name: Nadja.

Age: 16.

Date Of Birth: October 24th.

Race: Asian.

Height: 150cm.

Weight: 48kg.

Are you happy with this? Yes, I’ve always been normal weight.

Desired weight: I like being 48kg.

Sexual orientation: I think I’m bisexual.

First language: I don’t want to tell you that but it’s not English lol. Second/Third/Fourth etc. languages (if any): I can speak English.

Why did you take this survey? I felt like taking one now and this was the first one to pop up. And it seemed really interesting and fun.(and it was)

#survey

[makadelikz]

the secrets we keep updated 3/19/2018

The Secrets We Keep

Welcome to Clear Creek University. It is not the average university you think of when you hear that word—with collegiate football teams, and high end advanced classes. Clear Creek isn't just a boarding school where wealthy parents send their children to, it's open to families of all finanical backgrounds if they are eligible for something the school likes to call "standard privilage." The school was originally opened in 1842 as a hospital, it became a hospital for the mentally impaired in 1920, and the hospital was shut down between the years of 1933-1935 due to patient abuse, that and the Great Depression made it extremely hard to operate a hospital, especially for the mentally impaired. Society didn't quite deem the mentally impaired as 'people.' Some patients went missing and were never found and any record of having that patient seemed to have mysterously disappeared as well, the ones who were found didn’t live long to tell what happened, or returned much more impaired than in which they had left. All doctors and nurses had went to trial—the trial is infamously known as “The Shirestown Trial of 1936” none of them were charged with anything due to the lack of evidence, what really happened at the hospital remains a mystery to this very day. After the hospital was shut down, the empty soul lurking buildings remained standing and abandoned until it opened as a high school in 1956. However, the school was not open for very long before missing teenage faces were on milk cartons and newspapers. Just before investigation of the school could begin a fire broke out demolishing half of the school. The remains were left untouched for several years. The people of Shirestown considered the land to be possessed, and unwelcoming of all kinds. Witchcraft was what they blamed it on, although no physical evidence was ever recovered as to what exactly happened all those years of unsolved mysteries. Today is August 4th, 2012 and the school was rebuilt, they recovered the demolished buildings and modernized the other buildings that were unharmed in the fire. It has been many years since the last incident, although the infamous happenings remain a big deal to Shirestown, the new generation of people don’t seem to care much, the people who didn’t live in Shirestown either completely forgotten, or never even knew. The first official day back to school is August 20th and I and many other people I know will be attending Clear Creek this year. I seem to be the only one who knows about the school’s brutal history so I tried not to think about it.

CHAPTER ONE:

My name is Lacey Maree Schulze. I was born here in West Chester, Pennsylvania. It’s a small town where everyone knows everyone; however it isn’t as small as people think considering we are only an hour, or one train ride, outside the huge city of Philadelphia. Usually when people ask me where I am from I just say ‘Philly’ because a lot of people have never heard of West Chester. I am currently sixteen years old, my birthdate is the eighth of January and my former school East High is being shut down, it was the only high school in my town, the closest high school in range available to the town of West Chester is six miles away in a very small town called Shirestown. The town is much smaller than West Chester; in fact it is so small if you are driving through and blink once, you will miss the whole town. Ever since I was little I was used to being the center of attention, because I was my father’s only child and none of his friends have any children, so I was practically everyone’s child. In school I am considered ‘popular’ because I have an enormous amount of friends and it has been that way since the beginning of Junior High. I guess I have a lot of people who don’t necessarily like me, because I know I come off as intimidating to most, and a bitch, but I love meeting new people, and I usually accept everyone. I don’t label myself as anything, and I don’t like others who do, I hate cliques, and everyone who generally abides by them. My boyfriend Chris and I have been dating for almost two years, but we have known each other ever since we were practically in diapers; Chris is the same age as me. He says we met by fate. I don’t believe too much in that sort of stuff, but for his sake I always nod, smile, and agree with him. We have the exact same birthday so, I guess it could be written off as fate in a way. Some of the townspeople have even talked down about my father, saying things along the lines of “what father would be okay with his daughter dating a boy like that?” Simple because Chris has tattoos, and is written off as the "bad guy." Although my dad has never seemed to care about what they had to say I knew deep down it bothered him. He hated whenever people tried to tell him what to do especially when it came to me. My mother was never around when I was growing up, and that hasn’t changed to this day, so I guess you can say my father got a lot of shit from the unpleasent people of the town, but oh he loved to rub it in their faces that he was one of the wealthier people in the town. My dad said he isn’t intentionally “showing off” he was just giving them a reason to keep him relevant. He always told me that I couldn’t stop people from talking, so you might as well give them something good to talk about.

CHAPTER TWO:

I wake up to the smell of freshly made coffee, and breakfast. I didn’t want to leave my bed because I knew today was the day; the day I had to leave my father and go to a school I was not really looking forward to going to at all. My father and I are extremely close, he literally is my best friend there wasn’t a thing I kept from him and to have to go to some boarding school in a town possibly inhabited by a bunch of inbred, country-bumpkins was devasting. My father knocks and comes into my room surprised to see me already awake this early in the morning and tells me that breakfast is ready, before he could leave my room, I stopped him and said “Daddy, I don’t want to leave you” this caused him to freeze in his tracks, and I swear I could see his eyes start to get glossy from the puddles of tears forming, but he got himself together before he let a single one fall down his cheek. He always did that. He would never let me see him cry, but just this once I wish I could, simply because it would show how much he would miss me, and validate the fact that he’s actually human. I know this probably sounds really weird and possibly a bit morbid but like I said, my father and I are really close and there isn’t a thing he doesn’t know aboout me and there isn’t a thing I don’t know about him– except what his eyes look like when he cries. Does he cry? Does he cry himself to sleep so I don’t have to see or hear? The thought of my dad not showing any emotion was actually more devasting to me than if I had actually seen him cry. It made me think he lost contact to any sort of feelings he once had and now his only child was going to some boarding school that he won’t see again until Thanksgiving. I was probably much more concerned about leaving him behind more than he was about me leaving. My father sat down at the end of the bed and looked up at me and said “Lacey, I know this is hard for you but you know you can always call me no matter what, and six miles really isn’t that far. You’ve been attached to my hip since the day you were born, this experience could be good for you.” I know he was only saying this because as a father he has to encourage his child to go to school and prepare for the real world, but I know deep down inside he didn’t want me to leave either. Sixteen years raising a child all by yourself is a long time, and to just give your child away for a few months is hard. I asked him “But is this hard for you?”. He hesitated to answer and said “Of course it is, you’re my only child, but like I said this experience will be good for you." I just gave him this look, the look I always give him when I wasn't pleased about something, but it was never in a bratty sort of way, he just knew me all too well. He added "I'll tell you what... If you can manage to go to Clear Creek up until Thanksgiving and you still aren't pleased, I will homeschool you, okay?" I said "Okay" even though home school wasn't exactly my cup of tea either, I wanted the cake and eat it too. I wanted my friends, and I wanted my home. To me his response wasn’t good enough though. I wanted him to cry and tell me that he would miss me, but of course he had to be the ‘tough guy’ that he is and not even show the slightest bit of emotion. My father is not an ordinary father, he is a martial artist and has studied the arts of many MMA styles such as Karate, and Brazillian Jiu Jitsu. He now teaches classes from time to time sharing the art of BJJ with others. He also is a knife craftsmen, he designs his own hunting knives and even has his own logo. Among his many talents, one that he rarely talks to me about is when he toured with bands back in the day as their “fill-in” guitarist and back-up singer. I went on tour with him, but he never tells me much of any of the stories when I would ask since I was too young to remember any of it. I honestly don’t know why he doesn’t talk about those days, but seeing how I can’t get him to even tell me a simple story asking him “why not” would be stupid. However, from time to time I see him pick up and dust off his guitar and play it- He would even often play the piano. I was going to miss my father and his randomness, and odd career choices.

CHAPTER THREE:

HONK!! HONK!! Was the sound of Chris' car horn that was alerting me that he was here to pick me up. I was still inside packing a few more things, and then Chris runs up the stairs to help me carry stuff to the car. He picks me up and twirls me around and then kisses my forehead and asked if I was ready. I said  “Well, kind of, you know we aren’t supposed to leave for another hour or so.” He said “Well, we can get there early, get checked in early, have sex in my dorm room, and get there before our other roommates do so we can get the better beds.” I smiled and giggled at the same time and then kissed him and said “I think I like the sex part the best” And he smiled and said “I think I do too” and then winked at me. I made my way down to the kitchen while Chris carried my stuff (he offered) because of course I had to say one last goodbye to my father, and I hugged him so tightly I didn’t want to let him go. I was hoping this could make him cry, but I’m the one who ended up crying instead. He grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes and said “Cheer up Pumpkin. It’s all going to be okay.” I heard his voice crack, and that was good enough for me. That was the closest moment I had ever gotten to seeing my dad show even the slightest bit of a sad emotion. It actually made my heart sink. Maybe seeing my dad cry isn’t something I want or even need to see at all. He’s the strong one, and carries both of our burdens. For him to break down will be a whirlwind of complexity and depression, probably on both our ends. He walked me to the car and kissed me on the top of the head, he looked over to Chris and said “Take care of my daughter”. Chris replied with “Of course, Matt.” and my dad gave him this look, maybe he was confused as to why Chris called him by his first name for once. As we drove off I looked at Chris and said “Matt? Since when do you call him by his first name?” Chris said “I don’t know it just rolled off my tongue I wasn’t even thinking about it. Why does he not like to be called by his first name?” I said “No, it’s just weird because you never say his name. It’s like you always try to avoid calling him anything, you just get his attention and talk." He said “Whatever, your dad is an intimidating man, so I tend to get my social skills all fucked up sometimes around him.” I said "Well, relax, my dad likes you." Chris just looks at me with this brag-like sort of smile as if he was thinking "How could he not like me?" A mile or so into the drive it gets quiet between me and Chris so I start thinking. I think about a number of things; for instance, the haunted school we're about to be spending the next year of our lives at, the boring drive, missing my dad, and the fact that the car was so packed we barely had room to even sit. I have a lot of clothes, accessories, and items that I wanted to take with me, it’s not a camping trip, I am practically moving, and so is Chris so he brought a lot of shit too. The drive progressively grew boring, but I guess that’s because after thinking so much I drifted into a heavy sleep most of the way. We stopped at a gas station five and a half miles in.  We were almost there, but Chris felt it was necessary to stop and pee, and fill up his tank for whatever reason. It wasn’t even half empty. The town this gas station was in could hardly even be considered a town, it was just another really small town that probably wasn’t even on a map of this area. Of course the gas station was ran by some busted looking hick, who had a mouthfull of chewing tobacco and a toothpick, and of course spit regularly into a water bottle, which to me is even more gross. I rather see you spit on the ground than collect it all into a bottle. I didn’t like the way he stared at me. I was used to men staring at me, but they never stared this long and hard, because I was always with my father. I wasn’t doubting Chris' ability to protect me, but I was really missing my father, especially right now. The gas station clerk asked us where we were headed. I refused to talk to this man so I didn’t answer inevitably causing Chris to answer for us. Once we had told him where we were going he looked shocked, and said “Them people is ghosts up der. Ain’t nuttin but a town filt with devil worshipen crackas. Me and my kin stay 'way from dat place and anybody who commute to there.” His illiterate grammar gave me a headache, but I think it was all an act. I’m good at picking up on suspicious things. I can usually read anybody like a book. Nobody who talks like that says the word 'commute’. So, of course, me and my mouth just had to make a smart ass comment; “Commute? That’s a big word "ain’t” it?.“ and I sort of chuckled to myself, but then I look up to realize that again he was staring at me, but this time as if he wanted to hurt me as if I blew his cover on some top secret operation. I looked at Chris and said "Can we fucking leave now…?”

When we arrived we were some of the very few who showed up early. We checked in, verified that we were in the school’s system, and got our room numbers and keys. Obviously the boy dorms and the girl dorms were separated which sucked because Chris had to walk across campus for late night booty calls. After getting our room numbers and keys me and Chris parted ways, and I noticed that for whatever reason this school kept Upperclassmen, and Underclassmen apart as much as possible. Which I mean, I guess I could understand why but the school seemed a bit too segregated in that manner in my opinion. As I got to my room on the third floor, in room 326, I was the first to arrive. There were three beds; two were combined as a bunk bed. And the other was a single double sized mattress, and that is obviously the one I chose. The beauty of being first is amazing. I unpacked a lot of things. I unpacked clothes first, there were two closets to choose from, one was really big, and the other one was average. I obviously chose the really big one, because with the amount of clothes I owned I needed a lot of space, but then I realized that I should probably switch to the small one and condense because the big one was obviously meant for the two who basically had to share a bed. I have a heart sometimes. I felt bad for them, not only does one have to sleep above the other, but now they had to share a closet too. As soon as I was done unpacking my closet clothes I put some clothes such as pants, shorts, t-shirts, bra and underwear in the dresser that was already provided. I unpacked some posters, and some pictures. On the desk looking out the window on my side of the room was a picture frame that held four pictures, and they were all of the people I cared about most. Picture number one was me and my daddy, picture two was me and Chris, picture three was my pets. Three dogs and one cat named Batou, and picture four was me and some of my closest friends: Chris, Quinn, Aidon, Joe, Keith, Megan, Niki, Donna, Chandler, Taylor and Hannah. It took me about an hour to unpack, and I sat there for about twenty minutes before I called Chris because nobody had showed up to my room yet. “Hey babe, I am thinking about your sex request now, I unpacked every-thing.” Chris said “Well damn I was just about to call you and say pretty much the same thing.” I said “Do you wanna fuck in your room or my room?" He said “My room, so I don’t have to walk.” And I said “You son of a bitch.” And then giggled. I hung up the phone went to the other side of campus and went to the upperclassmen building for boys. Went all the way up to room 613, all the buildings were basically laid out like hotels. I found Chris alone naked in his bed waiting for me. He was so damn goofy he always had to make things really awkward. I said "What if one of your roommates walked in before me?" He said "That would've been very awkward, I didn't think that far ahead, but you can't blame me becuase I was just thinking about you."

CHAPTER FOUR:

After we finished Chris walked me down to the center of campus where the cafeteria is and where they have concession stands up for everyone’s first unofficial day. They had snow cones, popcorn, and cotton candy. Chris bought us snow cones and while we walked and ate our delicious frozen treats, Chris came up with the suggestion to go up to my room to see if anyone arrived yet. I thought it was a good idea, even though I was extremely nervous. I am not a shy person, I am just a bitch to some people that I first meet only because I don’t want them to mistake the kindness the real me somewhat possesses as a weakness. I'm also very cautious and anxious when it comes to change, and meeting new people is hard for me to do. I just don't like opening up so it's easier to surround myself with people I'm already comfortable with and who already know the real me. As we walk into my room, my heart drops, of course I had to be expecting the worst circumstances, and I got the worst roommate ever. I see a tall, very thin, but very fit with big, juicy boobs, and a nice ass obviously from squatting religiously, Caucasian girl with long bleached blonde hair that had a pink bow in it, with blue eyes, and brown eyebrows indicating her hair color was as fake as her lips and boobs. The jacket she was wearing said ‘CHEER’ in bold pink bubble letters on the back of it. I can already tell from just her appearance that I don’t like this girl. I look at some of her possessions; and all I see so far is everything pink, expensive, and cheerleader related. She is a preppy cheerleader who fits her stereotype extremely well. Since I didn’t say anything at all, and I kind of stood there staring at her with this expression of disgust on my face, I think this girl already knows I don’t like her, so Chris did the honors of talking to her first. “Uhmm, hi… I’m Chris, and this is my girlfriend Lacey who is your roommate.” She said “Nah, I thought YOU were my roommate, anyways, I’m Elena.” I still stand in silence. She says in a very condenscending tone “Is your girlfriend a mute?” I said “Listen here bitch, don’t you even fucking try me or I will make your life here a living hell.” She stands there except only she’s the one in silence now with a shocked facial expression to the fact that she didn’t think I would stand up to her. Chris walks me out of the room trying to brush the situation off and talks to me in the hallway after closing the door behind him. "Lacey, you need to chill and calm down, after all she is your roommate, and you kind of have to deal with her.” I said “Chris are you fucking kidding me, I hate her already, did you not see her, she’s a daddy credit card spending, cheerleading, bitch.” Chris implies“Maybe she isn’t as bad as she seems at first, maybe you have to get to know her.” I responded “Babe, you know me, and you know damn well that I am probably, most likely, not going to get along with that girl at all.” Chris said “Well babe, maybe she is putting on a front, maybe you intimidated her like everyone else is with you at first, think about it, you’re extremely gorgeous, and she isn’t ugly, but compared to you she’s a solid 5.5. After all you like to put on the bad bitch front with new people too, just to show them you don’t play around, which is true, but it is also a front.” I thought about what Chris said and he is kind of right. After standing in the hall way we walk back to the courtyard where they were serving all the first unofficial day junk food, and where people were mingling and making new friends, the other people who were less social were sitting alone or walking around campus getting a good recap of the layout. An announcement came on and it repeated three times. It stated “Everyone report to their assigned dining hall for dinner. Underclassmen are Dining Hall B, and Upperclassmen is Dining Hall A”. As Chris and I walk into Dining Hall A, we meet up with all of our friends in excitement that we are all together. I look around and I see gigantic windows that take up most of the wall space that surround 2/4 of the dining hall. Outside the windows I see a bunch of trees in the distance, it’s like a forest, inside the dining hall there are round tables that hold seven chairs each, but as people got together with their friends they were pulling the tables together making them larger to fit more people. Of course we did the same with our friends the “Party Crew” was a huge group, we even had underclassmen in our crew, but they were obviously in the other dining hall which was really on the other side, the only thing separating the two dining halls were two double-sided doors. As I was looking around and observing, something didn’t feel right, and the administrators and teachers who sat in an isolated room didn’t seem right either, I never liked teachers, so the negative vibe I am getting is probably normal, and other than the creepy teachers, and the not so enchanted forest outside the windows it feels like a normal high school, with your average cliques, and annoying people. Some of our friends weren’t eating because they had already eaten before they got here. So our tables were reserved. We talked as a group and we all made the deal to start yelling party crew to let the other people in this school know we run this place now, that is usually how it works with party crew. I thought the idea was rather stupid, but whatever, what will it hurt? We got in line and we were obviously expecting the average shitty school food, because after all this was a school, but instead we got real meals, and it was fantastic, it wasn’t school food pizza, it was like hot fresh pizza, there were cheeseburgers that were obviously grilled, and teriyaki chicken. Of course there were like a million sides, and the line was set up like a buffet it even had a dessert line at the end. The soft drinks and waters were always free and the meals were only free during the times they were being served. So, basically if you were hungry throughout the day then you had to buy a meal. after all the cafeteria people need money too. I had completely forgotten about the creepy teachers, until I noticed them again as I was walking back to my table, some of the guy teachers were staring at me in a really perverted way, I tried brushing it off as it’s just my mind fucking with me because I really want my daddy here, but I truly felt completely uncomfortable, I grabbed Chris' hand and some of them even look mad or depressed. Definitely hoping and praying I don’t get any of them as teachers.

CHAPTER FIVE:

After we had eaten our dinner the Upperclassmen Principals introduced themselves, there was Mr. Bennett, and Ms. Shiver. After the awkward introduction they told us to go back to our dorm lobbies to meet our dorm counselors and hear the guidelines and rules. Chris grabbed me by the waist and turned me around before we left and made out with me, I said “Have fun meeting your other roommates since you avoided going back to your room since we got here.” He said “Have fun dealing with your roommate and meeting your other one.” I smiled and kissed him one more time. After he turned around and walked away, I noticed the teachers again—staring. I walk back to my dorm lobby and find all my friends—fellow members of party crew. Each member of party crew has their own interesting style, and background, and that was truly one of the main reasons why I loved our crew so much. That's what made us so different than all of the other average cliques. There was a lot of diversity, we all accepted each other’s differences. We all have different cultural backgrounds and all, but to us that didn’t matter. We actually considered ourselves a family. I hear this screech, a familiar screech, from behind me, it was from my friend Niki, fellow member of Party Crew. I was so happy to actually see her and it has been awhile. Me and her sat in the back of the lobby with a few other Party Crew members and talked, and talked, and talked. I didn’t mind because the only information they gave that I found to be relevant was that “Lights Out” was at 11pm, where they would lock the entire building and the doors would only be able to be opened from the inside but Niki shared with me that she had spent her afternoon looking for ways to sneak back into the building even after “light’s out”, which was rather good news since I got a text from Chris bragging about his perfect roommate arrangement since he got two of our good friends, and as well, party crew members, Keith and Quinn and that they found a place to throw amazing parties, but it’s a bit of ways off campus… through the woods. I was not stoked about this information at all. Knowing what I know about this lands history, trotting through the woods in the middle of the night was nowhere near my ideal of fun. I rather get caught having sex with Chris in a janitor's closet and kicked out of school for it. However, nobody else seemed to have known about the history of the place except for me so I contained my paranoia and pretended to be excited about this. I told Niki about our plan and she was stoked. I asked Chris if there was room for a few more and he said of course. I was actually a bit shocked that he didn’t ask me who I was inviting along, but since I’m in a room filled with estrogen raging females I’m sure he didn’t assume it was some random dude.

CHAPTER SIX:

The one last relevant thing the counselors said is where we had to pick up our class schedules for tomorrow, and then it hit me. This actually IS school. We went back to our rooms and there I found Hannah unpacking. Hannah West is one of my very best friends besides Niki. I screamed and jumped up and down at the fact we were roomies. I exclaimed “Oh my God, Hannah it’s you!" She said “Oh thank God I have you as a roommate I thought I was going to be stuck with this preppy bitch and someone else I didn’t know.” I laughed because I knew she was going to hate our roommate too, and it was hysterical that’s the first thing she said. Although, I do feel bad for her in a way, downstairs in the lobby during oreintation she didn’t talk to anyone at all, you would think a girl like her would definitely have someone to talk to. “So, Hannah why are you showing up so late?” I asked and she said “My fucking mom was strung out all day so I had to wait for my mom’s boyfriend to get off work to drive my ass here, it’s so weird how my junkie mother has the sweetest and somewhat attractive boyfriend. I know I would miss oreintation and dinner so I brought snacks, what time did they say "lights out” was?“ I said "“Lights out” is 11:00 PM. Also, it’s perfect that you have snacks. Chris texted me and said Keith and Quinn found the perfect place to get stoned, have parties, get drunk, and SWIM, just a mile or so outside of campus, but not outside campus gates so, technically we’re not leaving campus, and it is the first night so if we do get caught we can just say we got lost, also nobody else knows I brought weed yet....." She replied “Oh my God! You have weed!! Thank GOD! I am sooo happy about this, I bought two bottles of Captain too, so me and you can get cross faded. Also, are you sure it isn’t outside campus gates?” I said “HELL YEAH!!! and I don’t know Chris said that he was told it was fifteen feet away from a gate so technically it isn’t that far outside campus gates." She asked “Who else is going?” I said “It’s going to be me, you, Niki, Chandler, Quinn, Keith, Chris, and Kyler. You can text Joe if you want and bring him along, but I’m pretty sure one of the guys probably already told him.” She said “Nah, me and Joe haven’t really talked since end of summer party last weekend.” I asked “Oh, why not?" She said "Just some… bullshit drama as usual.” I said “Oh okay well hopefully tonight makes you feel better” She quietly responds with “I hope.” Chris called me right after “lights out” and said that him, Quinn, and Keith were all ready to go, they were just waiting on us to tell them we were ready. Me and Hannah got ready and went down the hall to Niki’s room to get her but she was already walking down the enormous hall way to meet up with us. We met the boys in the center of campus, and everyone greeted Hannah. “Hannah!? Is that you? I was beginning to think you weren’t coming!” said Kyler. “Nope, I’m here I was just really late.” Hannah said then laughed. Chris said “Well if we actually want to have some fun tonight we should probably not be standing in the middle of campus and we should probably start walking.” We were walking for quite some time before we actually got there. The spring was beautiful and enormous, but also very dark. There was no civilization this far out in the woods, there were no lights except for our flaslights. I will admit I was scared beyond beleif but felt better knowing I wasn’t alone. Chris popped opened Hannah’s bottle of Captain Morgan and we all started taking shots. Quinn was the first to jump in the water. More and more followed after that including myself. I remember feeling after a few shots that it was starting to feel like home again, Party Crew was together as usual getting drunk, getting high, and having a good time. The water was freezing. I jumped in and felt the blood within me turn to ice, my heart starting pumpig blood eratically because of how cold I was. We weren’t in the water a long time before Kyler yelled for everyone. “Hey guys!!! Come check this shit out!” yelled Kyler. It was extremely dark, without flashlights we would’ve been walking in the shoes of blind men. we all jumped out of the water as fast as we could, no one wanted to admit it but it felt strange to be swimming in the water, there was a strange vibe, and I could tell just by seeing their facial expressions when getting out. I could only get a glimpse though, shining flashlights into people’s faces can change their expression instantly, either that or they put their hand over their face. Of course each and every one of our THC fogged minds didn’t think about bringing towels or anything to keep us warm and dry afterwards, and we did have the idea that swimming would be involved. I can feel the goosebumps start from my neck and travel their way down my spine eventually arriving at my toes. My whole body felt frozen. We were walking in our underwear, because as well we didn’t think of bringing anything to swim in, it was also because of the fact that we couldn’t carry too much with us in case we got caught. “Look at how huge it is! It doesn’t even look that run down. I think we could turn this old farm house into a party house. I mean, we can skip class and come out here, and chill, we could sneak out at nights, especially on weekends and throw some bomb ass parties out here.” Kyler said. “This is why you are a key member to party crew my friend.” Quinn said. “Holy shit this is perfect” Chris said. I added “But it looks really old, and scary. What if it is covered in spiders, mice, racoons, or anything else that could be deadly and scary.” Chris said “You are such a girl when it comes to those things.” I said “No shit, those things are disgusting, and how do we even know this house is stable? It could collapse right on to us." Kyler said “Those things are disgusting, I agree with you, but we could come back during the day– one of these days, and clean the place up. And well one of us will have to be ballsy enough to test the stability of the upstairs and if we can walk around without any problems we should be good, I mean just look at the house, it doesn’t even look run down, it’s weird actually and a bit freaky.” Niki said “I’m about it but only after the place is fixed up a bit.” I felt really nervous because staring at this house gave me chills, something felt wrong about it. I am usually never scared like this, nothing scares me. But this old wooden farm house gave me chills and again I know the history of this land. Especially at nighttime this place looks very grotesque. Kyler did point out something extremely observant, but I don’t think he even realized it, that the house doesn’t look run down at all. I researched a lot about the Shirestown area before coming here. This area was abadoned after all the mysterious tragedies that have occured here, all roads that led to housing in this area were demolished, it is so weird how you can just walk a mile or two from the school campus where all the mysterious tragedies have occured to the vacant place with abandoned homes, this house belonged to an old neighborhood within Shirestown that is no longer on the map. “Guys, we should be heading back soon, I am pretty tipsy, and the first official day of school is tomorrow, and I would like to look at least somewhat decent instead of looking like a hot mess with a hangover.” Not only what I said was true, but it was also the perfect excuse to get the hell out of there. We all went back to our rooms, and Chris thought of this as a perfect opprotunity to spend the night with me. We had sex, again. It was going to feel weird not sleeping by his side. I am so used to it, even him just being in a different building that is walking distance away felt miles away. After we finished I looked at the time, it was 3:30 AM and we had to wake up at 6:00 AM. Chris had to wake up even earlier to sneak back into the boys dorm before the counselors arrived. With the mixture of alcohol and marijuana, Chris and Hannah we’re knocked out really fast. I as well was under the influence of both substances but had a hard time falling asleep, my buzz completely worn off by the time that I did. The last time I saw on the clock was 4:20 AM…. today is going to be a shitty day.

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Apparentaly I slept through my alarm and I wake up to a grumpy bleached blonde and tan skinned roommate standing at the foot of my bed. I said to myself “Oh shit it’s Elena.” and she said “Is that a boy?” I said sarcasticaly “No, it’s my ugly step-sister.” She rolled her eyes becuase of my sarcasm, but I on the other hand was actually pretty proud of my sarcasm, especially when I said sarcastic things without even trying. Sarcasm has become second nature to me and I have to say I'm not ashamed of that, saying something sarcastic despite my current mood, lack of sleep, and dreadful hangover I am still a witty sarcastic person. She said “You do know he cannot be in here, right?” I said kind of angrily towards her “No shit, that is why nobody has to know, right?” She said “I didn’t see anything.” and smiled and walked across the hall into the bathroom to get ready for today. I thought to myself that it is very weird how nice she was being. I was pretty fucking rude to her yesterday and I never got the chance to apoligize so maybe this is her way of showing me that she’s actually pretty cool. However, I didn’t care to even think about it too much at that moment in time due to my throbbing headache. I leaned over Chris' back and kissed his left cheek repeatedly until he woke up. I said “Baby, I don’t mean to rush you or anything but we slept in a litte bit and it’s almost 6:15 so you should probably haul ass back to your dorm.” He shot up and said “Oh shit!” Then put on his clothes, kissed me, and hauled ass like I suggested. Campus monitors like to catch the people running from dorms they shouldn’t have even been at, especially this early in the morning, so I was hoping he’d make it back alright. I reassured my hope by saying “It’s the first day of school I doubt they’d be checking right now." I dreaded the getting ready process because I was just not into it, however I had no excuse to just stay in bed and sleep all day because it’s not like I missed the bus, or my dad’s car broke down, I am living at school now and it is the first day. I brushed my teeth, I’m not sure if it was the mint from the toothpaste or the sound of running water that woke me up but I was feeling a bit more energized. I didn’t feel like doing anything fancy with my makeup, because I still feel a bit intoxicated, and I don’t really have the time for it. I just did a simple winged eyeliner, and mascara, and touched up the eyebrows of course, because besides the wings of my eyeliner being perfectly even, the eyebrows are the most important part. As I walked back into the room to find an outfit I found Hannah doing her makeup, I was going to wake her up myself, but shockingly Elena was kind enough to wake her up as well. I put on a pair of black yoga pants leggings, and a Victoria’s Secret “PINK” zip-up jacket which was ironically light blue, with a pair of white sandals. At least the shoes showed off my cute pedicure. Hannah walks in behind me and asks if she could borrow my Wu-Tang Clan crop top and black boots, and of course I said she could. We were the same size in everything. We wore the same size shoes, t-shirts, and pants, and we both stand at 5'3'', we put a literal meaning to the saying "two peas in a pod." I didn’t think of it at first, but the thought of why she asked me to borrow clothes came to mind breifly later that day. It didn’t bother me though. “Hey Hannah, do you wanna go get a coffee and like a bagel or something, because I feel like shit” I asked and she said “I was hoping you’d ask before they stopped serving it for free.”

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I have not seen any of the creepy teachers I had seen last night during dinner. Besides from the great quality food, and living on campus it started to feel like a normal first day of school. Everyone was running around campus, looking for their friends, classes, and everyone had backpacks on, but I mostly see cliques. Not sure if it was the hangover, or the fact that people tend to segregate themselves unknowingly, but I felt the need to vomit everywhere. Once Hannah and I eat, I text Chris asking if he got back okay, it took him awhile to text back which made me nervous, but I tried to calm myself down by assuring myself that he’s probably in the shower and getting ready or something. When he did text back he told me that everything was okay and that he did get back without being caught. He had to call Quinn to open the door for him. We all meet up about twenty minutes later and we all look like fucking shit, so I felt good knowing I’m not the only one who looks like a hot mess on the first day of school, but hell who did I need to impress anyway? We all got our schedules and breifly went over them to see if we had any classes together. I was so relieved that me and Chris had four classes together, but unfortuantely not all of them. My first period is  Chemistry and I'm so exhilerated that Chris and I have this class together because it's the first class of the day, however he isn’t here yet because he had to go talk to the Dean in his office because of a complication on his schedule. Apparently he doesn’t have a class he signed up for. Anyways, I of course saved Chris a seat next to me and waited for him to get here. However, I was not expecting some douchey, dirty blonde hair, blue-eyed jock who tries way too hard for the look of "I didn't do anything with my hair" but he actually spent about thirty minutes on it, preppy type asshole to move my bag and sit next to me. I tried to get him to move but he refused to listen. Fortunately, Aidon walked in and told him to get up and to leave me alone. I don’t know why he listened to Aidon, who was a lot smaller, and definitely lacked as much muscle than him, but he did and he pretended to hit Aidon, but Aidon didnt flinch, instead he laughed and said “If only you took your GPA as seriously as you did a fucking chair.” Aidon may be small, and quite petite for 16 year old boy, but he is pretty tall, and his words sometimes are all it takes. The things he says are pretty intimidating. He’s not that nice of a guy when it comes to people who aren’t his friends, well to be completely honest he's an asshole unless he likes you as a person, so if you don't know him or don't have a general idea of who he is, well then you probably think he's a complete dick and can be really cocky at times. No pun intended. He sat down next to me and said “I’ll sit here until Chris comes back because I wouldn’t want to beat some ass today.” Couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious, or was just facetiously serious due to the fact that’s how he always is. However, unfortunately I know, and Aidon knows that there’s no way he could physically beat that jocky douche-bag, he could definitely mentally beat him, but there’s no way he could beat him physically. That jocky douche whose name I later found out was Zack, probably bench presses more than half of Aidon’s entire body weight. I asked Aidon why he did not join us last night, who fortunately for him, isn’t hungover on the first day. He said “I didn’t wanna be hungover on the first day of school.” Then he just looks at me with this 'I am disappointed in you’ face, but of course he was being facetious about it, I think. Quinn walks in and saves Aidon a seat after he realizes what he is doing. The bell rings, and here comes the teacher, who insisted on being called “Professor” but he needs to pipe down a bit on the ridicoulously high standard ego, this may be a boarding school, but it’s not one of those million dollar prep schools, and after all this is only a high school. Rather just stick to calling you Mr. Carter. Chris walks in late and “Professor” Carter gives him a dirty look through his slightly lowered, black framed eyeglasses, and asked for his name and reason for being late. As Chris starts walking toward me, Aidon gets up and moves over to Quinn, and Chris kisses me on the cheek. I can see Zack noticing Chris' affection but I didn’t mind him watching. Maybe he’ll get the message. The teacher walks to the back of the room and hands Chris a semester long itenerary, and said “Don’t ever show up late for my class again without a pass.” I looked over at Chris and whispered “I thought you were talking to the Dean why didn’t you get a pass?” He said “I did, but after talking to the Dean I went back to my room because I had to wake up Keith and then found him puking his brains out in the trash can, then he asked me to go pick up his schedule for him and give it to him later. By the time I was done with that the time the Dean signed the pass and by the time I was about to walk in the door the time gap was too far apart considering the Dean’s office is right downstairs. Rather make it look like I was late altogether.” I said “I guess that makes sense then." As the teacher was going on and on about classroom rules and expectations I studied his personality. After all, I am good at reading body language, and coincidentaly he happens to be one of the teachers who was sitting with all the other creepy teachers last night who definitely noticed me before I noticed them. Mr. Carter seemed a bit irritable. He was constantly grumpy. Never seemed satisfied with anything. Everytime a student raised their hand to ask a question he would sigh and say what in a very grouchy tone. The bell rings and Mr. Carter said “Finally,” and looked directly at Chris but indrectly speaking about him and said “Don’t forget to be on time to my class everyone.” Chris stopped me in the hallway and said “Did I really piss that dude off?” I said “No trust me, he was like that before you even showed up.” Chris said “Damn, this class is going to suck. Where’s your next class? I want to walk you there.” I said “Calculus in room 419, and don’t be late again babe.” He said “Yeah…. I’m not going to be late again and my class is on the first floor of the building next door and yours is on the fourth of this building.” Then he laughed and said, "Well I’ll see you in Psychology." Then kissed me and walked off. After arriving in my Calculas class, I realized that Aidon and I once again have a class together and I was thankful to have him in my class because I thought I was going to be alone. Not too many of my friends take a liking in adavanced mathematics, so they all pretty much had algebra and geometry. In this class there are just individual desks but I sat at the one right next to Aidon. Our teacher’s name is Ms. Maslar. She seemed really young and besides her messed up teeth, and face that looked like she was constantly terrified of everything she had a pretty hot body. Her overly filled in everybrows are probably what made her face really undesireable, and of course the crooked, off-white, partially stained teeth.  Her body though could’ve been a model’s body. How ironic. She was really short and petie too. I was even taller than her and I’m rarely ever taller than anyone unless you’re a nine year old, and even most nine year olds almost tower me. However, Ms. Maslar was quite nice she didn’t seem too strict at all which was a releif because I was beginnng to think every teacher in this school was either a perverted pedophile or an asshole…. or a combination of the two. When she talked though she talked in a somehwhat high-pitched voice and seemed really absent-minded which is an odd trait for someone whose supposed to be teaching me, especially a curriculum as hard as calculas. Third period Psychology; not much to say about this class. The teacher seems really nice, yet another female though which is probably why. I couldn’t tell at this point if what I was feeling inside was because of the hangover I still had or because everything about this school seemed backwards. It’s usually female teachers that are bitchy, but the female teachers here seemed to be pretty laid back, and the guy teacher’s are the uptight bitchy ones. The thought of it made me want to puke because this school is already so unusual. Either way, I was relieved to know I had a pretty nice teacher for this class considering it was the one of the classes I signed up for and had been waiting for. Chris signed up for the class too just so he could have a second elective credit and because I was going to be in it, fortunately luck was on our side and landed us in the same exact class. Something about the human brain and studying it fascinated me. Call me whatever name you want for it, I don’t care, but no debate you have against Psychology will beat my rehearsed ones to defend it.  After all, studying the human brain, and all it’s functions about a particular human can be a hundred times more engaging and interesting than solving for x. Fourth period Humanities class. In other words we’re studying the history of human nature. I again, have Chris in my class and by this point of the day I was exhausted. I wanted to puke all over the place and the caffiene from my coffee was long gone, and history was one of the most boring subjects ever. Don't get me wrong, I like history, I really do, but I like interactive history, like ghost tours and I love to hear about the roaring 20s with bad ass notorious organized crime. I strongly dislike the common way schools teach history especially since they teach the same things we have been hearing since the 8th grade over and over. The older you get the more in depth the same exact subject gets. Multiple boring pages from boring textbooks at a time with boring monotone voices of the teachers. I sat behind Chris hoping the teacher wouldn’t be able to see me putting my head down behind him. Unfortunately, he did and he moved me to the front of the class. He seemed really nice…. which is odd because he was one of the teachers staring at me during dinner last night. Maybe he’s overly friendly, and that’s the problem. He didn’t care about me having my head down it was the first day of school and he already handed us the class itenerary which is probably the only important thing you need on the first day, but it was the perfect excuse to move me closer to him, of course, or at least that is how my mind is processing it. He had black framed eyeglasses like Mr. Carter, he looked older than him though and it was evidently distinguishable due to the salt and pepper hair color. He was really tall and moved around a lot which made me want to puke he was making me nervous by constantly moving. I felt my headache growing stronger. Fifth period Journalism. Creative writing wasn’t one of my indomitable classes. I was great at making things up on my own and writing little short stories off of topics I found pleasing such as mystery, investigative mysteries, or spooky stuff. Not the boring randomized topics schools give you. I was also pretty upset that I didn’t have another class with Chris after this until 7th period but at least Upperclassmen lunch was after this class. This teacher seemed really boring. She was also quite old, and she irritated me because every little thing that she didn’t approve of would throw her off and make her go on a five minute long rant. I mean, I could understand why she would do something like that if a student was being an ass and not doing what they were supposed to do but the whole class for the most part was quiet with an exception of a few whispers in the back of the room, which is where I was sitting. This teacher would let shit hit the fan if the desks weren’t lined up evenly. Seriously? What kind of teacher does that? She wore really long skirts, and thrift store looking shirts, she had regular old people glasses with big frames, but she didn’t really appear to be as old as she sounds. You could still see hear naturally dark hair color beneath the gray top coat. I’m assuming she’s in her late fifties to maybe mid sixties. Her train of thought often stumbled off it’s tracks also.

CHAPTER NINE:

Finally, it’s lunch time. After the amazing home cooked style dinners last night  I was eager to see the lunch menus, and to finally put something more in my stomach other than a bagel and some coffee. Obviously, us Party Crew members sat mostly all together and the lunch menu was amazing, there was fried chicken with homestyle mashed potatoes and grilled aspharagus which was fucking astonishing right about now. It was the only thing they were serving though besides the salad bar of course and an alternative vegeterian meal, but I didn’t care at all. I was so ready to stuff my face with this incredible food. I actually like the cafeteria workers here more than any of the other staff. Keith and Kyler asked us if we wanted to skip the rest of the classes to go check out the barn house. I said “There’s no reason to skip the one class we have left. Besides, 6th period is really only study hall, if we leave lunch early we can get there and have about 50 or so minutes to check it out and still be back in time for our last class.” Kyler implied “Well, me and Keith are skipping seventh since Keith skipped all day, and if you want to come check it out then you got to go with us now.” Aidon who has no idea what we are even talking about of course asks us what we are talking about, Chris then begins to explain everything to him. “Last night me, Lacey, Niki, Hannah, Chandler, Quinn, Keith, and Kyler found this old abandoned farmhouse–” Kyler butts in and says “I’m the one who found it actually…… Just saying.” Chris gives him this intimidating look as if he was saying "don't fucking interrupt me," and then looks back over at Aidon and says “Anyways, Kyler had an idea of turning it into a party house. A place to skip classes and have.. well kick ass parties that we can’t have on campus. They want to go check it out now for whatever reason and go clean it out, and see what we can do with it.” Kyler then adds “It’s going to be sick as fuck” Which in teenager slang that means it’s going to be awesome. Kyler asks Aidon “So, are you down or nah?” Aidon implies that he is indeed down. Again, in teenager slang; it means that he is looking forward to it. Aidon then adds “I don’t want to miss my 7th period though my mom is going to be calling the school today just to make sure I’m not using this school as some sort of vacation and I don’t want her to drag my ass out of here and home school me. Not only will I have to spend all day with my mother, but I won’t ever see you guys anymore.” Kyler said “Dude, it’s fine me and Keith are the only ones skipping you can walk back with the rest of them.”

Chris, Quinn, and I walk around the lunch room and other various parts of the campus to look for other Party Crew members to go see the house that didn’t already see last night. Once we got there the newbies to the area were shocked and really pleased to know they have an escape-from-school place to hang out in, get high in, and all that sort of stuff. Kyler asked if anyone wanted to do the honors of walking, jumping, and running around the upstairs to see how stable it is. Of course nobody was eagerly jumping for that role, no pun intended, and Kyler said “Fine… I’ll do it.” and he did and surprisingly it was sturdy enough. Nothing too exciting happened here except for moving all the unwanted shit to the attic and sweeping the shit out and dusting with cleaning utensils that looked fairly new and I’m the only one who seemed to notice that a farm house that is allegedly abandoned on a piece of land that hasn’t been on any maps since the 1930s has fairly new cleaning utensils. I tried to brush it off as maybe Kyler brought them here already. Maybe Kyler had already been skipping classes and knowing Kyler he would do something like steal cleaning supplies from a janitor’s closet. I wasn’t going to ask him though but I didn’t want to go back to sqaure one and be scared and paranoid about how these utensils got here in case he said "No." After we finished cleaning for the most part Chris looks at Kyler and says “This place is pretty big, but are we even sure this place has electricity, and where are we even going to get furniture for this place? I mean it’s not like we can order furniture or call an electrician and tell me to meet us at our abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.” Kyler said “Relax bro I got it all covered, the electricity part not so much, but there is however an electricity source like thirty feet away all we need is a bunch of extension cords. I can just drive into town and buy some." I thought to myself why would there, and how would there be an electricity source in an abandoned neighborhood that hasn’t been on any maps for over eighty years. Even if Kyler did bring the cleaning utensils I am officially back to square one, we are definitely not the only people who have used this farmhouse... Someone else could be using it already. I don't know how I would even begin to tell them this, plus I don't want to ruin it for everyone. I keep telling myself that I'm overreacting, and that maybe the elcetricity source is for the school, but I am still not feeling better. It was now time to start heading back to campus for the last class of the day. I almost had forgotten we were even at school.

CHAPTER TEN:

Seventh period Drama class, I walked in and the first person I see is douche-bag Zack, of course he would be in drama class, all the preppy kids were. In drama class there's only three main types of students: the preps who are a majority of girls who can't act or sing who just want to be the center of attention and constantly boast about how much money their parents have, the artistic and awkwardly social who sometimes take theatre way too seriously, and the average people who want an elective credit in theatre arts, but then there's me, the not so awkwardly social, in fact I'm socially outgoing, my dad does make a lot of money, but I just want a credit in theatre arts, and I do enjoy performing in plays, I've done it since the third grade, I remember Kyler puking on me from being so nervous. We were performing a Christmas play. I was of course a pissed off third grader but that didn't stop Kyler and I from becoming good friends, in fact it brought us closer, I taught him to not be shy and I got him over his stage freight, I'm actually very proud of myself. However, this time Zack is surrounded by his other preppy-jocky douchey friends who are only in this class to attempt to hook up with the preppy girls with blonde hair who don't know shit about theatre arts, even if it slapped them directly in the face they would still be completely oblivious. I walk past and Zack slaps me in the ass. I barely had time to even react before I see Chris punching him in the face. Zack stands up and then so does his buddies, Chris is badly outnumbered but this didn't scare him. Zack and Chris didn't sit down, they keep yelling at each other and pushing each other. The teacher walks in and says "Do I really have to suspend students on the first day of school?” Zack seems to be intimidated by the fact of getting suspended which not only will he be suspended from school but also suspended from the football team. I said “Chris, baby, just sit down please….. I don’t want you to get suspended from school or the basketball team before you even have a chance to play a single game….” Chris doesn’t break eye contact with Zack but he grabs my ass with both his hands and picks me up and brings me over to our table. Other than the douche bags that probably jerk each other off in the locker room, I know this class is going to be fun because practically all of the main party crew that I associate with on a regular basis is in this class. I even heard the teacher call Kyler’s and Keith’s names. Too bad they have the “flu” and couldn’t make it to class today. Anyways, the teacher for this class seemed a bit nutty. She seemed to be just like the socially awkward kids in the class who take theatre entirely too seriously. She also bragged about the fact that she receives royalty checks from a commercial I never even heard of. She acts like she's Angelina Jolie or something. She talked in a fake British accent for half of the class before revealing that she was just "acting." I can't lie though, if she never revealed that the accent was fake I would've never guessed.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

About five weeks go by, and the school flu starts to kick in. In other words, that’s when everyone loses their motivation and the assignments start to actually pile up. During study hall Kyler said the farmhouse is all set up with Christmas lights, and normal lights, bean bags, music, and posters, and fuzzy rugs, and everything that would make a party house, a party house. I asked “How the hell did you manage to do all that without any help?” Kyler said “I was motivated. I mean it’s about time we have our first official party of the year, right?” Chris said “When? Tonight?” Kyler said "No tomorrow, we have to gather enough people.” I said “Wait… this isn’t going to just be a Party Crew party….?” Kyler said “Well, I mean… we run the party, and we own the party, but there’s nothing wrong with bringing other people to the party. I mean we’re all practically family I can’t hook up with any of you.” Quinn looks over at him and said "Awwe buddy you know you like me." They're obviously just joking, but Kyler said "Whatever man you wish." I add interuppting Kyler and Quinn's debate “You make a good point. I don’t care who parties with us as long as they know the Party Crew rules: No stealing of any kind; weed, alcohol, phones, money, lighters, etc. No petty drama. No fights. Then everything should be fine, but I mean I thought this was a Party Crew house only. What if the non-party crew people we invite decide to get comfortable in our farmhouse?”  Kyler said “Very good point, but that’s why I already got it covered. If anyone decides to do such a thing they won’t be able to get in. I bought locks, and made keys for the main party crew members only.” Chris high-fived him for that and said “Damn, good thinking, and I thought you were dumb.” Kyler begins to laugh but then says “Wait.. fuck you dude.” but they both laughed it off because Kyler knew Chris was only being facetious. We joke like this with each other all the time. It's like sibling rivalry. A few minutes later my roommate Elena walked over to our table and asked if she could sit with us. I hesitated to answer but Kyler answered for me and said “Of course girl.” Of course he was thinking with the wrong head. Then Quinn who often thinks a lot like me said “Don’t you have a table with your cheerleading friends?” Elena answered bluntly “They don’t like me. I actually don’t really have any friends here.” This response made everyone quiet, and it probably made Quinn feel like an asshole, but I’m sure he probably didn’t care at the same time. Her response probably shocked me the most because I was wrong about her. She doesn’t seem like one of those girls who would have problems making friends, especially with other fake blonde, and tanned skinned girls. I then asked “Why don’t they like you?” I mean, I’m not going to feel bad for her until I find out whether or not it’s her fault they don’t like her. She said “It’s because I’m different and nice. They started hating me after I let this girl in front of us in line because she was cut by like ten football players. A girl who they had earlier made fun of because of her outfit, and I don’t tolerate that sort of shit.” I then felt even worse because not only was I wrong about her, I was extremely wrong about her at this point. Kyler said “Well, you’re beautiful and you deserve good decent friends. We’re throwing a party tomorrow night. Do you wanna come?” She looked so shocked and said “Yes.. of course! I do love to party…. Unless it’s a typical high school party where people only like to be blacked out wasted and fight each other, and steal cigarettes and shit from each other. That's childish shit, I like chill nights with an adult-like atmosphere.” This girl keeps making me feel worse and worse, because I was so wrong about her, and from the things she’s saying she already fits into Party Crew. How could this be? Was she listening to our conversation and just telling us what we wanted to hear? I'm definitely keeping my eyes open with her.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

“Welcome, welcome, welcome! We, Party Crew hereby grant this the first official party of the new school year. The number one rule that will not be tolerated if broken under any circumstances is stealing! No jacking other peoples weed, alcohol, cigarettes, lighters, money and any other personal belongings. If reported that anyone gets ANYTHING stolen the party will officially be shut down! This is not to be a hard ass, this is to keep the vibe positive and lively. The second rule is know your limits! Yes, the point is to have fun, and yes the point is to get hella wasted, BUT I am no one’s butler I WILL NOT under any circumstances clean up your throw up! Please have the decency to clean up after yourself or at least get someone you came with to help you out, or if it comes down to it, find me, or any of the Party Crew members to help you out right away. I don’t want your nasty ass puke marinating into my rugs, or furniture! Rule number three is DON’T break shit! Please treat the items in this farmhouse as if it were your own. If something gets broken that’s money wasted out of my pockets personally, and if no one owns up to it and pays up for the expenses NOBODY will be accepted back into the party house ever again besides the very members of Party Crew. I get that shit happens sometimes, if you accidentally break something, please just let us know, and everything will be alright. Last but surely not least, I’m sure I’ll make up new rules as I go, is to NEVER tell anyone about this farmhouse. If you are not a member of Party Crew that means you were singled out and selected, we weren’t giving random handouts to our free liquor. IF word gets out, not only will it spread like wildfire, but it will put us at risk of getting exposed and getting this farmhouse demolished by the schoolboard. Oh, and one more thing I promise, THIS IS NOT intended in anyway to be a high school atmosphere. The youngest accepted will be 16 BUT if you act like little joog, you get kicked out so NO FIGHTING and petty drama. Keep the atmosphere positive and lively and respect our rules or you will NOT ever return here which you should feel honored at the fact that you’re even here to begin with considering we run the only party house on campus! Good luck throwing parties like this on campus….. Oh wait…. You won’t!!!!!!! PARTY ON!” Kyler’s speech about the Party Crew Party House felt like a really long lecture, but I completely respect and agree. However, it was just to feed Kyler's ego. With each passing day he seems to really act as if he is the "leader" of this crew when there has never been such a thing. We used to be just an average group of friends and now it feels like we're Kyler's minions. As the night went on I see people starting to hook up and start to get really sloppy. I kept my eye on Elena tonight because even though she is the exact opposite of what I thought she was going to be I still had my doubts, I mean that could’ve easily been a bullshit act. She wasn’t really talking to anybody, just a few random girls and Kyler and it’s no surprise to me once I see Kyler whisper in her ear and easy as 1, 2, 3 she was walking up the stairs with him. Kyler is a man whore, he will sleep with any girl he considered to be at least a “5.5” out of 10 on his ridiculous “how hot that girl is” scale. However, at the same time I kind of felt bad for Elena, she seemed insecure and vulnerable and Kyler picked up on that too and used it to his advantage. As the night starts to drift on I start losing my buzz, I didn't want to get too drunk tonight even though it's the weekend, plus Chris is super wasted and I have to make sure he gets back to his dorm. When Chris gets really drunk he doesn't listen to anyone, and depending on the liquor he consumes depends on his mood. I forbid him to ever drink Patron again, because it makes him super angry when he's drunk, he almost got arrested one night a few summers ago for fighting people. Practically anything else just makes him really goofy and fidgety or really sick. I don't know what all he's consumed at this point so I have to keep a closer eye on him. I start cleaning up some extra trash on the floor because I don't want Kyler to freak out, but I mean he can't really expect a bunch of drunk people to keep in track of every single thing they leave behind. I start talking to my friend Chandler who hasn't drank at all tonight, she's just smoked weed. "Hey Chandler, wanna help me carry this keg upstairs? I don't want anyone else to drink out of it, it's the last one." She of course said "No problem," and helped me drag it to an empty room upstairs. Upon arriving into the room, I see Chris sleeping on the floor. He just barely made it to a pink fuzzy rug and a beanbag chair. Chandler and I sit on the beanbag chairs and start talking about life and school. I asked her "Do you miss Portland?" she said "Of course I do, moving out here with my mother and being so far away from my dad sucks, but at least I get to see you guys more often, especially since we all live in the same place now." I met Chandler five years ago over the summer, that's usually when she came to town to visit her mom. During the school year she lived with her dad in Oregon, but her mom recently won a custody case, so now she'll be visiting her dad on summers. Chandler isn't your typical friend. She's the girl who will literally be down for anything, and literally be there for you regadless of the situation. If you needed bail money, she'd be there, if you just needed a laugh she'd there. Hell, even upon bailing you out she'll be cracking jokes to make you laugh. Even if you think you can never laugh again, if Chandler's around, I promise you will. I hardley ever see her take anything serious. She's always happy-go-lucky. She helps me wake Chris up and helps me walk him down stairs, he's almost entirely motionless, stumbling and bouncing off me and Chandler from side to side. She asks me if I needed help bringing him back to his dorm, I said please. On the weekends, the dorm doors stay open until 2 AM, which was pretty cool, unfortunately though, it's 3 AM, and I don't know who I could call to come open the doors because everyone I know is at the party or already completely passed out. I start thinking of this on our hike back to campus, but there was no way I was spending the night in the farm house so I kept telling myself "I'll figure it out." We get to the entrance and I don't see anyone in the lobby like I had hoped. Chandler said she knew a way in. She brought me around to the back of the building to this crawlspace that lead underneath the building.. Just looking at it my mouth slipped "Oh fuck no," even though that was supposed to stay in my head. She said "It's okay trust me you won't be crawling for long, my friend Cameron showed me this, he said he uses it all the time, it leads to the dormatory kitchen, and from there you can go wherever you want in the building." I said "Okay but I'll need help with Chris." Who at this point is less drunk than he was, but he's still pretty drunk. We push Chris in first and I crawl in after him, I had to encourage him to keep moving the whole time, and Chandler was behind me dictating which way I should tell Chris to move until we eventually crawled up through a hatch in the dorm kitchen. I started to ask myself, "why is this even here?" but giving the current circumstances I was thankful for it's existence. Chandler started to speak as if she read my mind. She said "This is one of the oldest buildings on campus, it was here when it was a hospital." I looked shocked because I thought I was the only one who researched the history. I said "So you know all about the Shirestown murders and strange occurences?" She said "Yes, but I don't like to talk about it. I keep telling myself that the past is the past and there's nothing to worry about. Besides we've been in school for a month now if the land was so cursed I think something would've happened by now." Her words did not settle well with me at all, I had this really bad feeling in my gut and it kind of infuriated me how Chandler pretended to not be scared. The one person besides me who knows of the vile history doesn't want to talk about it and she pretends to not care! Please care so I can spill my feelings about this place to someone who already knows about this history. Please care so I can worry with someone at the same time so I don't have to feel like I'm constantly paranoid and overreacting. I stayed quiet so then Chandler added "Well, I'm going to go say hey to my friend Cameron, he said he's still up and has weed, and then I'm leaving. Are you staying with Chris or do you want to come get high?" I would've gone with Chandler, but to be completely honest I wouldn't just throw my boyfriend into bed and then leave to go get high with Chandler and some stranger, that and dealing with drunk Chris has gotten me very tired so I respectfully decline and drag Chris to the elevator. I spent the night with him, and Keith was already in the room when we got there. All I remember after arriving was undressing myself and Chris and passing right out.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

I woke up, and see that I'm the only one awake. I immeditately see Quinn in his bed meaning sometime after I got here with Chris he showed up. I don't remember exactly what time it was when I finally got up here so I really couldn't say what time the party at the farmhouse actually ended. I start recollecting memories from last night like a play-by-play all up to the moment of walking into the room. I notice a majority of my clothes and my shoes along wth Chris' were spread across the room, making a trail to his bed. I roll over facing Chris and kiss the tip of his nose and I start to drift back into a sleep until someone knocks loudly on the door, being that I'm the only one who didn't get heavily intoxicated last night and currently the only one awake I seem to be the only one who heard it. I started thinking to myself, maybe they'll go away if nobody answers. Nope. Wrong. They knocked again, this time more loudly. I got up and searched the floor for my shirt and shorts, put them on while walking towards the door. My shorts weren't even buttoned and I open the door getting ready to throw a bitch fit, but I see Chandler. She said "You have to let me in, Cameron's friend is being really weird and touchy and following me and Cameron went to work at the campus store." I said "Girl, it's 8:30 in the morning and you bang on the door with urgency for this!?" I'm not a very happy person in the mornings, and this doesn't make it any better. She said "I'm sorry but I'm not getting raped!" I asked her if she had gotten any sleep, and she said "Barely. I couldn't get comfortable, I was trapped inside my mind and over-thinking all night." I wanted to ask her if it's because we mentioned the school's history but I wouldn't want to bring it up again, and I certainly didn't want to start thinking about it. Giving the fact that I know the history it has made my experience here 10x more eerie. I just kept the thought to myself and that maybe Chandler really feels the same way I do, but just doesn't want to talk about it. I told her "Well, try to get a little sleep, when Chris wakes up we're going to go get some food, want me to wake you up so you can join?" she said "Sure, thanks." I try to fall back asleep but I just can't, I ended up doing exactly what I tried not to do which was think about the brutal and horrifying history of the land, and because of the fact that Quinn's snoring seems to be the only thing my ears can focus on right now. I roll back over grabbing Chris' hand and wrapping it around my body. I stare around the room. I can see Keith on his top bunk, still sleeping, Quinn obviously still sleeping below Keith, and Chandler on the floor using Quinn's clothes as a pillow. Thirty minutes go by and I can feel Chris slowly waking up. He moves his head over mine and kisses my cheek. He said "Good morning." In his super tirey morning voice, and I could still smell the alcohol on his breath. I rub his facial hair and rub my fingers through his hair and just smile at him. He makes me so happy, and moments like this I just cherish. Being with him makes me forget about the world around us. He said "I'm going to go brush my teeth and shower. Want to shower with me?" Then he winked at me. I said "Duh." in a playful flirty voice. In the shower we start talking and he said "I'm hungry when we get back into the room try waking up everyone and see if they want some food." I said "By the time we get back into the room and get them up they're going to stop servng food for free." He said "I don't care, I'll pay for you and the rest of them can figure it out." I said "Baby you don't have to pay for me, my dad put money in my account." Our school has accounts set up so that students who wanted extra money for extracurricular activities or food they had the money to do so. He said as he gets behind me and grips his strength around me and rocks me side to side while kissing my neck. "I don't care, I'm paying for you because you my baby." I started thinking to myself "Why in the hell is he being so cute right now?" Chris was always cute but he had his random moments when he would be extra cute for no reason, and I loved it. By the time we got back to the room everyone was already awake.. Barely. They were all just checking their phones and not saying a word to each other. That's what usually happens every morning. Even when there was no drinking the night before. Chandler got up and said "Lacey, Cameron invited me to go eat with him so do you mind if I go with him instead?" I said "Of course not, have fun." I don't know who Cameron is but it's pretty obvious that Chandler has a thing for him and I'm not going to get in between that. Why would she have to ask me if she could go with him? I wouldn't have told her no, but I guess it was out of respect because I technically did informally invite her to come with us. Quinn jumps up and starts changing and says I'm going with you and Keith shortly follows. By the time we got food we decided to sit outside and eat in the courtyard. It was a beautiful day out in early October. Autumn is my favorite season, I don't know why it's just something about the smell in the air that makes my soul smile. I see Hannah start walking up to us, and I asked her "Did Elena ever come back last night?" Just to see if she spent the night with Kyler. Hannah said "Yeah, she did but she left again because she forgot her phone. She didn't come back after that." My gut kind of had this anxious knotted feeling. I said "Okay... Maybe she stayed with Kyl--" my thought was interrupted because I then see Kyler walking through the courtyard coming our way so then I added "Never mind." Kyler walks up to us and said "What's up, bitches? Have fun last night?" Quinn said "Clearly you had more fun fucking that blonde chick." Kyler just giggled and said "Right!" Keith is studying for his ACT test this afternoon so he's just sipping coffee and obsereving the conversation while multitasking with his face in his booklet. Keith has been studying that ACT pamphlet for two weeks now, I have very high hopes for him and I know he's confident about it. I look over at Kyler and said "So about that blonde chick" as I advert my attention over to Quinn because I mocked him then back to Kyler "Where did she stay last night?" He said "I have no idea, I fucked her then left. We left at the same time but went seperate ways after we got on campus." Everyone suddenly had this worried expression on their face but I don't think anoyone was quite as worried as I was. I stood up and said "You have the audacity to fuck a girl but you can't even walk her back to her dorm to make sure she got back okay? She was drunk Kyler anything could've happened." Chris grabs my arm and says "Calm down, baby." Keith adds, "No I agree with Lacey, what if she got caught and rats us out? Also, do you really believe the possibility that we were the only people walking around campus that late? That was fucked up Kyler." I'm thankful Keith agrees with me but we're not exactly on the same page. In my mind I'm seeing worse scenarios. Kyler said "Well, fuck guys I'm sorry. I was drunk too all I wanted to do was go back to my room and sleep." I sit back down and grab my coffee, and just sit in shock. Chris starts to rub my back he can tell I'm stressing. Everyone else pretty much stayed quiet. Quinn said "Okay, well we'll see her in Study Hall today, it's Sunday. If she's not in Study Hall then we should worry, right?" Everyone began to collectively agree. I agreed for the sake of sparing an argument amongst us, but I really didn't agree. After we all ate I went back to my dorm to change clothes and grab things I would need for study hall tonight and put them into a bag. Hannah comes in behind me and sits on her bed. She looks up and asks "Are you okay?" I sat down and said "No, I hate this place." I began to tell Hannah about the history of the place and I can tell it's starting to freak her out a bit but then she did exactly what I was afraid she would do, the reason why I never talked to anyone about it, she said "I think you're overreacting Lacey." I stood up and walked out and called Chris. I called him up crying asking if he could meet me by the school swimming pool, where I had managed to end up at after my anger induced walk. The swim team was practicing but I was just drowning in tears and had my face burrowed into my arms and knees while sitting on the bleachers. I didn't care if anyone saw me, and I didn't care if they knew I was crying. At this point I was just finally breaking down after bottling it up for so long. Chris finally shows up and hugs me, he doesn't even ask what's wrong yet because he knows that I want to out-cry myself first. I lay my head in his lap and he rubs my head waiting for me to stop crying. I finally do, and I just lift my head up and said "Chris, I'm scared." he said "Baby, why what's wrong? Are you okay?" I said "I'm fine but what if Elena isn't? Do you know who the cops are going to first? Her roommates!" I was waiting for Chris to say "you're overreacting" but he didn't and that made me so joyous. He said "Lacey, baby, I know you're scared. We're all worried, but you don't have anything further to worry about except for where she is and what happened to her. Baby, you didn't do anything wrong. You did everything the way you were supposed to. I got so drunk that you had to help me back to my dorm. If I didn't get so drunk you wouldn't have had to babysit me and take care of me all night and then you probably could've put yourself into a liable situation." I didn't say anything, and Chris grabs my chin and adverts my attention to his eyes and he said "Baby, the universe tends to unfold as it should." He started talking about his belief in fate, and for once it actually made me feel better. I change the subject kind of and ask him "What about free will? Making your own decisions? Everything is just planned out already by fate? Like, getting a cup of coffee this morning instead of juice, that was fate?" he said "Yeah. Think of it this way; remember all those girly magazines you used to be obsessed with? It had those games and quizzes? Remember those games where you started off with one scenario and it gave you options to pick your next move all leading to another scenario which eventually led to the conclusion based off the choices you made? Well, that's just like fate. Every single day we make choices that eventually end us up in a place we were meant to be at all along simply by the choices we decided to make with our free will." I just look at him with an enlightened smile. He made me feel so happy, and no one has ever described fate so distinctively to me. My smile quickly faded because I remembered Elena. I asked him "So whatevever happens or happened to Elena is... fate? She did things that led her to disappear? What about every other teenager, or child, or adult even who disappears? Who have families they love....?" He looked at me like he wanted to say, "baby I don't have all the answers" but he said "I don't know....." instead and quickly looked down to his shoes. I grabbed his hand to comfort him. I never questioned Chris' beliefs like this before, and I now I feel kind of crummy. I said "I'm sorry baby, I don't mean to.. make you.. feel inferior or question your beliefs in how the universe works... I'm just stressed." He said "I know baby, it's okay. I don't have all the answers, but nobody does. Inner peace and shit comes from within. I believe that everyone in their own way is a god (he looks at me) or goddess (and smiles) of their own body, and mind, and their own universe." I actually believe the way Chris thinks is very alluring. I wish to one day see the world the way he sees it, I honestly envy him sometimes.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

As we try to actually study in Study Hall we all are figedty and anxious and hoping to see Elena here so we can all forget about this and destress. I can't believe I'm actually feeling this way, but I'm hoping to see her, seeing her would be equally exciting as riding a rollercoaster right about now, but waiting and hoping to actually see her can be compared to the dreadful long line to get on to the rollercoaster. Nobody really wants to talk so we just burry our faces into whatever assignment we're working on. Study Hall comes to an end and the librarian over the intercom said "Study Hall is coming to an end, but the library will be open until 8 PM for those who wish to stay." Nobody at my table said a word we all just look at each other. Quinn stands up and says "Well, maybe Elena just didn't come to Study Hall...." I said "That would be reassuring if Hannah didn't just text me fifteen minutes ago saying she never came back to the room either." Quinn said "Okay, but these two things doesn't mean she isn't okay." I said "Quinn, it's 6:30 at night! If she got caught walking around being drunk by an administrator or campus security she would've been suspended therefore she would have to take a majority of her stuff and leave campus. Everything was left behind. Hannah and I have checked the room periodically all day, and nothing of hers has even been touched. So Quinn please tell me what the fuck this could mean then?" Kyler said "Guys, lets not talk about this in the middle of the library okay? Lets go find an empty section between bookshelves and talk more quietly, shall we?" We all followed. We're on the second floor in the back left corner of the building. It's pretty evident no one comes up here when you see a condom wrapper on the floor. This section offers the most horrendously boring books, so that's good... I guess. We all sit down in a rectuangular 'circle' because an actual circle of people wouldn't fit between these shelves. Quinn begins to talk "Okay, guys, obviously something bad happened, there's no denying it at this point. We all need to be honest right now and share our stories. What we did throughout the course of last night, and where we slept. I'll start. I was drinking, I pretty much hung out with Aidon all night, we played darts, Aidon left early. I stayed at the farmhouse for about an hour after Aidon left and went to the dorms and hung out with my friend TJ, who I met in my math class, and I bought weed from him, and I chilled with him for about another thirty-five or so minutes, before walking up to my room. When I got to my room Keith was sleeping because he didn't stay longer than 2 hours at the party because he had ACT testing today, and Lacey and Chris were sleeping. I passed out, and I woke up this morning, Lacey and Chris were just coming back from the showers and Chandler was sleeping on the floor. I don't know when she got there, but it was obviously after me and I showed up there at 6:15 AM." Quinn paused and said "If someone's got something to confess now's your chance. It's only us who knows about this, so, if we got to stick together to cover something up, then that's just what we have to do." Chandler added to the story to distract from what Quinn added to the end of his storyline. At least it seemed like a distraction. I can understand why, I suppose. Did Quinn really just say we'll cover up the murder? Or was that a reverse psychology thing to see if someone actually confessed to it. Anyways, Chandler said "The part about Quinn buying weed is true and I can vouch for it, I was hanging out with my friend Cameron. TJ and Cameron are best friends and they live down the hall from each other, I saw Quinn leaving TJ's at about 6 AM so the timing fits." I added "I let Chandler into the room at 8:30, she said Cameron's friend was bothering her and that Cameron went to work, so I'm assuming she stayed at Cameron's place." Chandler added, "I did." Quinn said "Okay that pretty much sums up mine and Chandler's whereabouts as well as Keith's, Lacey's and Chris'. Lacey please tell us the beginning of your time line please since we know the ending of it pretty much." I said "I was pretty much floating around the party, following Chris around because he was drinking a lot, I wanted to be there if he happened to drink too much... Eventually he did exactly that and walked off and went upstairs to an empty room and slept on the floor. I cleaned up a little bit around the farmhouse, just the downstairs, and Chandler helped me, she also helped me carry a keg upstairs and hid it in the room Chris was sleeping in. We sat down on the beanbag chairs in there and talked for a little bit, woke Chris up, managed to get him downstairs and almost half way through we got him to actually walk on his own. Chandler brought me around to the back of the building and we snuck into a crawlspace that Cameron showed her. Pretty much after that I went directly to Chris' room and fell asleep... With Chris." Everyone began to share their timeline stories and all of them seemed legit. At least I think. I can't see any one of us being murderers. Quinn looks over at Kyler who hasn't shared his timeline yet and said ''You were the last one to see her before she disappeared bro." Before Kyler had a chance to yell I said "Actually, Hannah was. She said Elena came into the room, said she forgot her cell phone, and then left, remember?" Quinn said "Oh yeah, that's who were missing-- Hannah. She needs to share her timeline." I blurted out "This is bullshit. I honestly don't believe any of us have anything to do with her disappearace.  Maybe she just got lost in the woods, or stayed at the farmhouse because she didn't feel like walking back and thought that maybe we'd come back by now... Maybe she's just at the farmhouse freaking out waiting for one us to walk back in there.." Kyler said "No, I locked the farmhouse when I left." Chris said "Are you 100 percent sure? You said you were drunk." He didn't look so sure and said "I don't know man, I was fucking drunk, I don't remember." Everyone was silent and Kyler added "I don't see what that has to do with anything though because even if she was able to get back into the farmhouse because I may've been too drunk to remember to lock it, that doesn't explain why she hasn't came back all day. She would've just started heading back after she woke up when the sun was up." Keith added "Kyler's right. I don't think she would stay at the farmhouse all day, there's really nothing to do there, especially by yourself. It's almost 7 o'clock at night she would've been back a long time ago." Quinn said "For the sake of our sanity we should just check the farmhouse for assurance. If there is no proof that she came back to the farmhouse then there is no telling what the fuck happened to her. Then it really isn't on any of us. If a wolf or something in the woods ate her then it's just some drunk campus girl wandering in the woods. That doesn't fall on any of us.." Chandler added "She didn't just disappear into thin air, Quinn. If she was going that way the farmhouse would've been the only place to go, once you get about half a mile outside of campus it's pretty much a straight shot from there to the fence, and from the spring right next to the fence, to the farmhouse." Quinn said "Okay, but there's a lot of trees Chandler, she could've walked the wrong direction." Chandler argued "Bullshit, regardless of which way she came from or went to since leaving campus she would've still came to the fence..... She could've walked along side the fence to find the hole we cut, which is right by the spring." Quinn said "Okay, but wolves can jump fences and who the fuck else knows what else populates those woods... Bears could even be out there." Everybody went silent for a moment. I said "I'm not going back to farmhouse, giving the current circumstance that farmhouse and those woods is the last fucking place I want to be, especially at night." Kyler said "Fuck you, Lacey, if we have to go then so do you, we're all in this together." Aidon said "Fuck that dude, how are we all in this together? As far as I'm concerned you and Hannah were the last two people to see her before she went missing. You two should search the magical fucking forest for clues, fuck you." Kyler said "Aidon, don't you fucking walk away, we're all in this together because it's our party house, it was our party." Aidon said "That's such bullshit dude, a lot of people attended that party, not just us." Kyler said "It's our farmhouse though, we're going to take the fall." Aidon said "You know what, it's not our farmhouse, it's your farmhouse, you're the one who found it and furnished it. Why are you acting scared bro? You act like you have something to hide? Maybe you choked her to death while fucking her. When and if she's ever found, she's probably dead and she'll have your semen in and/or around her so go fuck yourself." Kyler said "Seems like you got the plot all figured out, huh? Me take the blame for what you did? It's easy that way since I'm the one who fucked her right?" Aidon said "BULLSHIT I left the party early, Quinn vouched for it and my dormmates can too. They'll also tell you that I didnt leave the room at all after that, not even to go to the bathroom, and by the time I got home and by the time Hannah last saw her, they conflict each other." I shouted "Can you two fucking stop it, there is no reason to sit here and blame each other for something neither of us can prove and to be completely fucking honest, you're making yourselves look guilty for being so eager to point fingers. Lets just go to the farmhouse and get this shit over with, I highly doubt we'll find anything there, it's going to be a complete waste of time and we'll be right back at square one but if it makes everyone feel better then fuck it. I know damn well that I'm not taking the fall for something I had no part of. I'm not guilty and have nothing to fucking hide so lets go."

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

We all get to the farmhouse, everyone was quiet most of the walk there. Nobody wanted to say anything. It's moments like this that I wish I could read minds. I was so eager to hear what everyone was thinking. Upon arriving to the farmhouse Quinn looks at the door, shines the flashlight at the lock, and looks back at everyone and says "It's busted." Kyler blurted out and said "SEE! If I had anything to do with this I would've just used the damn key." Aidon pitched in and said "The busted lock means nothing. Elena came back, and she didn't have a key, she probably busted the lock. You could've came back later or was already here.... Or....... That's exactly what you would've done to make it look like you didn't do it." Kyler punches Aidon in the face and Chris shoves Kyler to the ground and said "You two keep pointing fingers at each other and isn't going to solve shit. Both of you need to shut the fuck up. Ya'll need to think for one second. Aidon was right, we weren't the only ones at the party, there were people there last night that I've never even seen on campus before, and we even invited underclassmen party crew even though we said the youngest was sixteen. Everybody invited their friends man. Sorry Kyler, but you're a horrible host. Everybody broke the rules last night. A lot of people were showing up to the party last night after it started. So more people than just Elena didn't have a key. Anyone could've busted this lock." Chris added "If none of us did it, then we need to stick together because this is some serious shit. At this point who knows if she's even alive. We're dealing with a missing person that so conviently lands on our hands. This is not the time to turn against each other." Niki interrupts and said "Guys, I have a confession.." We all just look at her in shock thinking she was about to admit something in regards to Elena's disappearence. She said "I filmed the party, I had hidden cameras everywhere. I just wanted something for my own personal.... enjoyment of our first party here. I was just going to put it on my computer and then make copies for party crew." Kyler said "What the fuck does this have to do with anything?" Niki said "These cameras belonged to my mom's paranormal obsessed boyfriend. Meaning the cameras have the ability and storage to film throughout the entire course of the night....." Kyler said "And..... What are you getting at?" She said "Isn't it obvious? I got really fucking wasted and forgot to turn the cameras off or even get them and bring them back with me.... Meaning they were rolling all night, so we can figure out exactly what happend... Who walked in after Elena, or if Elena even came back." Everyone looked shocked and Quinn said "Well, then what the fuck are we waiting for?" Aidon added "We should still check out the farmhouse. Just in case something's up there that will help us and save us time." Niki said "I agree, I had a lot of cameras, so editing it all to be one video will take awhile." We all walk through the farmhouse, and as cliche as it sounds, the lights weren't working. I held on to Chris so fucking tightly, and I started thinking about my daddy and how I wouldn't hesitate to call him and have him bail me out of this situation right now, but unfortunately I can't do that. We all walk up the stairs and walk into the room Kyler and Elena fucked in. There's blood everywhere and of course I started screaming and I just burried my face in Chris' chest and everyone was too shocked to say anything until Keith said "What the fuck guys!?" Chandler said "It looks like a huge puddle formed by the closet." Keith said "Are you implying that her body is probably in the closet?" Chandler's voice cracked and said "Yeah probably." Kyler slowly walked over to the closet and opened the door, and Elena's body fell over and nearly landed on his feet. Everyone at this point was screaming, we all ran out as fast as we could, and we didn't stop until we were back on campus. We all ran to Chris' room and we all stayed in there. I was having a panic attack and Chris was trying to calm me down but it wasn't working. Everyone was freaking out and yelling at each other and Chandler yells "Stop! Everybody just fucking stop! I've known all of you for a very long time, and I don't think any one of us could've done this. Stop pointing fingers. Her body was slashed everywhere. Her phone was shoved down her fucking throat. None of us could do that. Kyler you're scared of tiny little insects, there's no way you could do that to someone. Aidon you're a sweet and tiny kid, no offense, but if you even tried I'm sure Elena would win the fight. Quinn, you're an asshole sometimes, but we all know deep down you're a good person. You've came to my rescue countless times at ungodly hours without hesitation, and I know you've done that for quite of few people in this room. All of you are the greatest people I've ever met and possess such amazing qualities. None of us have the potential to do something like this." Chandler's speech brought everyone's tone down a little bit. All you hear was deep sighs amogst everyone in the room. My breathing started functioning as semi-normal again. Kyler then said after a long silent pause "We have to get rid of her body." Quinn said "Are you fucking kidding me?" Kyler said "I will not lose party house and go to jail for this. I know none of us did this, but whoever did was making sure we would get the blame." I said "If they made sure we would get the blame, then if we hide her body, isn't that even worse? That literally makes it look like we actually did do this and that literally puts the blame right on us." Kyler aggressively started to rub his face and said "I'm not taking the chances here! We're all in this together. We all have to help." Aidon said "Man, fuck you. Party house, and this school can suck my dick. I rather get kicked out of school than cover up a fucking horrendous murder. Who gives a shit if we lose a shitty, sketchy farmhouse in the woods? I rather lose that than practically lose my life by spending it in prison." Kyler said "I'm just looking out for all of you." Chris said "Okay Kyler cut the fucking bullshit. You're not looking out for any one but yourself. It's your cum that's all over her, and she was wearing your jacket that conviently wasn't slashed to shit like her body was, meaning it was put on her after she was murdered." Kyler said "Fuck you faggot! That doesn't make sense, why would I kill her in my jacket knowing that my cum is inside of her!? That's the biggest fucking set up in the world." Keith said "Guys, I can't get in trouble for this. All I need is one more mark on my record and I go to prison. The first two counts were just marijuana charges, but suspicion in murder!? Fuck that! Kyler's right. Someone is trying to set us up, we have to get rid of the body." I said "Do any of you actually hear yourselves? Someone was murdered, and we're sitting here trying to figure out a way to cover it up!? That's exactly what the murderer would do." Chandler said "Lacey... I agree, but we got to do what we got to do." Niki said "We all have to do this. Even Hannah. Someone should call her." Quinn says "I texted her five times, she hasn't responded." I started crying even harder. Chandler said, "Don't worry baby she's probably just asleep okay. We'll check on her in a little bit." Kyler opened his backpack and pulled out a gun and said, "I'm walking back to the farmhouse prepared." Chris said "Where the fuck did you get that? How did you sneak that in, and why do you have it?" Kyler said "Stop interrogating me. I have it because I have it, I snuck it in the way that I snuck it in. Happy, princess?" We all just kind of looked at each other and collectively agreed to not ask him about the gun and then shortly followed him out the door. We all got to the farmhouse and we walked in. Chandler and Niki grabbed the cleaning supplies from the downstairs closet and started cleaning the floors with bleach. The rest of us wrapped her body into a huge blanket. We picked her up and dropped her outside and Chris said "Where are we even going to put the body Kyler?" Kyler said "Every spring is connected to a river. Rivers are connected to lakes or oceans. We just have to follow the spring and find the river, the current will take her some where... else." Chris said "Yeah, no shit, but there's no telling where the river actually begins and where the spring ends. We could be walking forever." Kyler said "Good. The further away, the better." We all carried her body for quite sometime and then threw her body into the river after tying rope around her body. We watched her drift and sink away with the current. We all went back to Chris' room silently and fell asleep.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

The next morning we all wake up and just sit there in awkward silence. We all walked down to get breakfast together and I said "Oh shit! None of us rememered to check on Hannah." I called her and she answered. I said "Come down to the breakfast cafe, we all need to talk." We filled Hannah in and she wasn't happy about any of this and I said "Try being apart of actually doing it, Hannah! We're telling you this because you're apart of this. We're all in this together, right Kyler?" I said condescendingly. He didn't say anything he just raised his coffee as if he was about to make a toast. Chandler said "At least it's over now right?" I said "No, it isn't teachers are going to eventually notice that she hasn't come to any classes, and they're going to report it. Then the police get involved and start questioning everyone." Kyler said "At least it'll be a missing person's investigation rather than a homicide. No body no homicide." I said "If you didn't muder her why would you care?" He said "She was wearing my jacket and had my cum inside of her. That would've made me the number one suspect." I said "Yeah, it would've. Too bad you're the one who was so eager to get rid of her body in the river. Wash away all that DNA." Kyler said "You better be fucking careful with what you say next." I said "Why? You gonna kill me too?" Then I stormed off. Sure enough a couple of days passed and after class I walk into the dorm room to find a dashingly handsome detective, probably in his late thirties, and he was looking at the picture frame I have on my dresser, he turned around and said "You must be Lacey." I just nodded and He said "I assume you know why I'm here." I said "I'm guessing it's about my roommate.?" He said "And what makes you think it's about that?" I said "it's pretty obvious. She hasn't been seen in a couple of days." He said "So why didn't you report it? Why did it have to come down to teachers realizing something's wrong?" I quickly thought of a lie and said "Because I didn't think anything was wrong. When we met she explained how much she liked to party. I just assumed that's exactly what she was doing. We didn't know each other, and we barely ever talked. When she was here she'd come back late at night. When she didn't come back for awhile I assumed that she probably packed a bag or something and snuck off campus. Honestly, I never hung out with her or talked to her. She's a cheerleader so they'll probably be able to help you more than I can." He said "Interesting theory,  my partner suggested the same thing." Then he added "Who do you think she would've left campus with? I read her file, and she doesn't seem like the kind of person to have friends in a town like this or have time to constantly party with a GPA like hers." I said "Like I said I never really talked to her. We never had a genuine conversation. She did her thing, I did mine." He said "Okay." Then he proceeds to give me his card and said "If you hear any chit chat around school please let me know." I said "Of course." My heart sank to floor after he left. I called Hannah, but then my paranoia kicked in and thought what if they got my phone tapped I called Chris and told him to gather the boys, and I'll gather the girls and we'll meet in the library at the usual spot. Once we get to the library I fill everyone in with the story I gave to Detective Briggs. I said "Hannah, you're going to be the next person they question. You're her only other roommate, so stick with something along those lines but don't make it exactly the same." Kyler said "Lacey... You better not fucking crack. You either Hannah. They're going to be watching you two like prey because you were her roommates." I said "I know Kyler will you shut the fuck up?" Out of nowhere, we all receive a text at the same exact time. Everyone looks around in bewilderment. We all check our phones simultaneously. It was a video of us taken from a distance of us dumping Elena's body in the river. The text said "I know bitches." We all start panicing. Kyler said "Hannah what the fuck!?" Hannah said "Why the hell do you think I did this? I got the text too!" He said "You were the only person not there that night and you just so happen to not be responding to any texts creating the illusion that you "fell asleep."" Hannah said "Fuck you Kyler. You're so quick to point fingers at EVERY ONE, maybe you did really kill her." Kyler slapped the shit out of Hannah and Keith punched him in the face and his nose started bleeding. Hannah started crying and Chris comforted her with me. Kyler walked off and said "Fuck all of you." We sit Hannah up and start cleaning the blood from her lip. I look over at Chris and said "Please let me stay with you tonight." He said "Of course baby." Quinn said "Hannah, if you want to stay in our room tonight too you can, I have a sleeping bag you can use." The intercom said "Hannah West please report to the main office, Hannah West please report to the main office." Hannah started freaking out and said "Oh shit, what if it's the cops what if they want to question me, and now I have this big ass bloody bump on my lip." I said "Just make up something I'll stand right outside the door okay." I started to walk Hannah down but Chris turned me around and kissed me and said "You're a good person Lacey." I said ".... Are you sure about that?" As soon as Hannah and I got down there I sneakily headed for the room they placed her in. I was pretty incognito hiding my face behind this magazine, at least that's what I would like to assume. I could hear the conversation clear as day. Detective Briggs said "Hello Hannah. How did that happen?" I'm assuming he pointed to her lip and she said "Oh, a friend and I were play fighting with pillows once slipped and her bare hand accidently hit me pretty hard. It just happened like a few minutes ago actually." I said nice one, but please don't say it was me they're going to think I prepped you for this and actually punched you in the face to keep quiet... Oh my God she was really not thinking. He asked "What's your friend's name?" She said "Chandler Allen. A girl Chandler." I sighed with major relief although she sounds really nervous. You should never ask the cop questions when they're the ones questioning you. Hannah said "So what's this about?" Briggs responded "About your roommate, Elena Cauley. She hasn't been seen in a week." Hannah said "Oh yeah. I didn't really know her well at all, and I never really spent much time in the room other than to sleep. Usually she came long after I've been in bed for hours, or not at all." Hannah really is starting to use her head now. Hannah proceeded to go on with the "Elena is a big partier" story that I made up and they let her go. As I see Detective Briggs stand up and about to give Hannah his card I walk fast down the hallway to prevent from being seen. I met Hannah outside and she said "I think we're in the clear." I said "No we're not. They're still going to be watching us. So keep your cool." Hannah said "When I was walking out I heard him ask his partner to check if she had a secret boyfriend or something. They're moving on to other suspects." I said "Hannah, if they said that so you could hear it, then it was a set up to fuck with your mind to make you think the heat is off of you. Assume every step you take is being analyzed. Don't let your guard down until they're off campus, and given the current circumstance-- Don't let your guard down at all. One of us is the murderer." Then I walked away. We all meet up in the cafeteria for dinner. the rest of Party Crew that has no idea is sitting at a different table. The main crew, which is all of us, sat with each other, and excluded ourselves from our own organization. Kyler said "We should kick all those motherfuckers out." Hannah said "We should kick you out." Kyler begins to apologize and Hannah cut him off and said "I don't want to hear it." Quinn said "Guys....... Who sent the video?" Chris said "Good question. It's all I've been thinking about." I noticed something very perculiar. Then it hit me. I said "Guys, remember when Niki said she had all those cameras set up?" Kyler banged his fist into the table and said "Holy shit, good memory Lacey." Keith said "But she was with us that night." Kyler said "Yeah, but she didn't throw Elena's body in the river. She just so happen to "stay" upstairs and clean the floors." I can't believe I just threw my own friend under the bus but the theory fits too well that even I felt unsettled. Kyler added "Niki... Who is also conviently not here right now." Quinn added more to the thought "Who was also convienently not there when we all received the text message." Chris called her and she answered. He put her on speaker phone and we all gathered around to hear it. Chris said "Hey remember those cameras you said you had set up at party house? Did you get the videos from them yet?" Niki said "Yeah... About that.... I went back to get them and they were gone.. I didn't want to freak anyone out." Kyler said "Oh, they were gone? They just disappeared? How fucking convienent Niki. You said there were hidden, that means only you knew where they were hidden." Niki said "I'm not going to sit here and have you blame me for something I didn't do," and then she hung up. We all sat down and Keith said "Honestly, sending a text like that seems like something Niki would do. Remember when Niki was playing pranks on everyone that one Halloween, making us all think that we we're fucking with each other and she didn't confess it was all her until we all started getting mad and accusing each other?" Chris said "Holy shit, I remember that like it was yesterday. She even went as far as throwing a brick in Quinn's living room window with Lacey's charm bracelet around it, and even making Lacey and I think the other was cheating on each other." Quinn said "Jesus, I remember that. Tell me why we're still friends with her again my mom grounded me for a fucking month because of that. She thought I cheated on some girl or some shit..?" Keith added "See that's it. It's got to be Niki. She's gettig under our skin. She just wants to fuck with our heads. We just ignore the text like it never happened, delete it, and move on, don't even bring the text up to Niki because it'll satisfy her." Kyler said "Exactly. That's why she hasn't even brought it up. If she actually got the text too I'm sure she would've mentioned it by now." Aidon said "Niki is a little fucked up in ways like this.. Halloween being a good example, but are we really sure Niki would do something like this when an actual murder was involved? I mean that's a little twisted even for Niki." Quinn said "We're talking about a bitch who threw a brick through my window and put laxatives in your potato salad and watching us all blame each other for it, risking the break of lifelong friendships and relationships, and calling that funny." Aidon said "Good point." Chris sat back and said "What else did she do that Halloween?" Kyler said "She broke into my car and planted the laxatives in there making me look like the person who put it in Aidon's food." Kyler's mouth dropped wide open and said "Guys! She made me look like the culprit of the laxatives that Halloween. My jacket was on Elena's body!" Quinn said "Fuck.... You don't think Niki actually killed her though do you? I mean we're talking about these sick fucked up things she likes to call jokes, but I don't think she would've actually gone as far as murdering someone just to play a "prank." Or playing dress-up with a dead body even if she isn't the murderer." Kyler said "It's just a theory, but with all of us sticking together Niki has been the only one who's been distant and shady." I said "Niki is one of my good friends, but I agree. She has been a bit shady. She's also been starting to hang out with other people outside of crew, which isn't really that big of a deal, but it is a good front to make herself look "too busy" for us, and given the current circustance we should be sticking together." Quinn said "If you know your name is at risk for being tarnished for havng involvement in a murder and covering up a murder, how could you be too busy for anything else?" Dinner came to an end and we all went to the boy's dorm lobby, which surprisingly isn't as heavily supervised like everyone had assumed it would be. We all chilled in the dorm kitchen because it was the only place to talk in private without being crowded in the room. The next morining we all resume classes as normal, only none of us are as happy and chatty as we used to be. I see Niki in the hallway after second period and stopped her and said "Where have you been?" She said "Hanging out with my friends who don't cover up murders." My mouth dropped because I cannot believe she just said that. I stopped her and pushed her against the lockers and said "You grimely little cunt, you were there that night too don't forget that." I didn't even give her a chance to respond I immediately walked away afterwards. I told Chris about it and he said "What the hell is her problem?" I said "I don't know, maybe she's in denial and shock about everything. I mean she was the one cleaning up the blood." Chris said "Doesn't give her a right to say some shit like that, especailly in the middle of the goddamn hallway." Right as I walked into the Humanities class which is taught by one of the creepy teachers I saw on the first night and he said "Lacey move to the front desk in the middle row. I said "Why?" He said "Because I'm the teacher and I told you to that's why." Me and Chris gave each other a puzzled look and Chris started to sit down next to me and the teacher said "Nope. Chris move to the back of the room." Chris said "What the fuck man?" He said "That's it, detention." I said "What the hell is your problem?" He said "I guess you want detention too. Both of you get out of my class and go to the AP office." As we walked out of class Chris said "Fuck that guy, and fuck the AP office. Lets just go back to my dorm." Chris and I started to fuck once we realized we we're going to be alone for a little bit, and it's been awhile since we've had sex considering all the stress we're under. Afterwards I said "Thank you." He said "For what? The sex?" I said "No. For always being there for me." He just looked at me and smiled and then I added "You should be thanking me for the sex." Then he laughed and said "I probably should because I don't feel frustrated anymore." I said "Me either actually." He laughed and said "I guess our bodies already thanked each other." I smiled really big and he kissed me. Later during study hall I told everyone what happened earlier with Niki. Kyler said "That's it. Who wants to leave campus with me and go into town? I need fresh air." We all collectively agreed that this school is making us go a litte crazy. Once we get into town we do a little shopping but there aren't many stores to choose from. "Downtown" was literally a block long. Kyler said "Hey lets go to the library and do some research on our friend Niki." I said "What do you mean?" He said "Maybe there's a lot more about her we don't know about." Once we get to the library we do as much web searching as we possibly can considering the public library computer doesn't have any school-blocks. Kyler said he can't find anything at all then I overlooked his shoulder and I said "That's because Niki isn't short for Nicole. Nicole Farrow isn't her real name." He said "Seriously? I always assumed that's what Niki is short for after all these years." I said "Yeah, I guess I'm the only one she told her real name to." Kyler said "Well, what is it?" I said "It's Nikalette, and her middle name is Summer." Chris said "...Nikalette Summer Farrow...?" I said "Yup, that's her." Kyler searched it up and immediately an article about a little girl who was the same age Niki was back in 2004 appeared. Apparently the little girl was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after watching her father commit suicide. Kyler said "This would explain the psychotic behavior but this little girl doesn't look like Niki." I said "It kind of does actually." He said "She has blonde hair, Niki doesn't." Chris added "Yeah, Niki had brown hair when we met her too." I said "Guys, hair color can change over the years, and plus, Niki's mom is a hair stylist. Coincidence? Maybe her mom created a new persona for Niki. Changed her hair and even shortened her name to "create" a new life for her after watching her dad commit suicide. I mean why else would you move from Santa Clarita, California to the small not-so-well-known town of West Chetser, Pennsylvania? Usually it's the other way around. Nobody from a city like that goes to a town like West Chester unless they're running from something." Quinn said "Damn, good point." Chandler said "Oh my God, I remember being high off shrooms one night three summers ago, and I walked in on Niki dying her hair. I said "I thought you were naturally a brunette," but after that I don't remember anything, and the next day I asked Niki what happened the night before in the bathroom, and she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about so I assumed it was the shrooms, but... I guess not.... I just now remembered because of what we're talking about." Keith said "Guys... this is getting weirder and weirder." I said "I agree." Chandler also added "Guys, I did research about Shirestown before coming here. You won't believe what I found." Kyler said "Please do share." Chandler was hesitant to speak so I spoke for her. I said "Our school was considered to be a "possessed" land by all the towns people. In 1842 when the buildings were first built it was a hospital for war vets, then it became a hospital for the mentally impaired in the 20s. Psycho serial killers were sent to this hospital. I'm talking about the psycho killers of the 1920s man, they were a lot different than the psycho killers these days. Probably much worse. They've actually hung people here too, which was an execution method that was strictly prohibited by that point, but they did it anyway. Medical files disappeared and the staff would act as if they had no idea about the patient, or that they even existed. The families of these patients who kept questioning eventually disappeared as well...... The hospital remained abandoned until the 50s when it opened up as a high school.  Not even two months into the school year teenage faces ended up on milk cartoons and newspapers because they had gone missing. The school was going to be investigated, and that same day the building burst into flames with the police inside. They left the bodies, and all the remains untouched because they considered the land to be cursed. The neighborhood where the farmhouse is, well it used to be a neighborhood, it was abandoned back in the 30s after the Shirestown Trial when they originally deemed the land as cursed. That neighborhood has been overgrown by trees and grass, houses have caved in, yet our farmhouse is still in tip top shape and fairly new. The neighborhood has been off the maps since the 30s and the only way to get to it is from inside campus. The buildings of campus remained untouched until they opened this year." Chandler said "I think we awoken something that was dormant for so many years." Kyler said "I don't believe in ghosts Chandler. I seriously doubt you two are the only ones who knew about the history of this place." I said "Then explain the farmhouse." Kyler said "Easy. It could be used for the school. I found out the electricty generator does in fact go to the school." I said "That doesn't make sense why would the school need a farmhouse?" He said "I don't know Lacey but it's the only thing that makes sense okay... Ghosts don't build houses or wire them with electricity." I said "....Good point." Chandler said "It could be a cult that's carried the tradition from their ancestors." Kyler said "Okay, but what does this have to do with Niki?" Chris said "What if Niki knows about the land's history and the farm house is just a coincidence? You know how Niki gets about this shit. She'll watch paranormal videos on YouTube for hours and be obsessed with telling scary stories, which isn't abnormal, but she freaks out when nobody else wants to tell scary stories the minute she does." Quinn said "Holy fuck! Remember that one year at camp when we all shared the same cabin, and Niki told the story about a little girl living on her own in the woods after her dad died? Which now that I think about it, that is really too coincidental." Kyler said "Okay, this is getting way too fucking weird now and how do you remember that?" Quinn said "Now that we're actually digging up the past I'm remembering all this shit. Of course everything back then was overlooked because we weren't looking at it in a prespective like this." The librarian snuck up behind us and we all jumped and screamed and she said "The library is closed now." Kyler said "It's 2:00...? The sign says it closes at 6:00." She said in the same monotone voice "The library is closed now." We all just look bewildered but weren't going to fight it and left as fast as we could. We didn't see Niki at dinner which was beginning to be a usual thing. Kyler said "I'm exhausted from playing Scooby Doo and The Mystery Gang man. I just want shit to go back to normal." Quinn said "Maybe we should've just called the police." Kyler said "I'm beginning to think we should've too, but now it's too late. We can't undo what we did." Chris whispered in my ear and said "Come to my dorm tonight I don't want you in there." I said "You don't even have to tell me twice."

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

The next day, Niki's roommates reported her missing. The school was on a campus wide curfew and there were police everywhere. We weren't even allowed to leave campus during the day anymore. We met up in the courtyard and said "Do you think Niki is actually missing or do you think she's making herself look as if she's not apart of this." Kyler said "Probably." "Well, at least Thanksgiving break is next week. We all get to go home." Chandler said. A few days later on Friday evening the school was gradually becoming empty. As I walked into my room with Chris I see two older people crying, and packing Elena's things into boxes. Obviously I'm assuming it was her parents. Chris asked "Did they find her?" Her parents turned around and said "No, they called off the search and deemed her dead." Her mom walked over to me and said through her tears "How do you not know what happened to her, you're her roommate you must know something!" Then she ran out of the room crying and her husband said "I apologize for my wife, this is obviously a hard time for us. Elena was our oldest child and her sister doesn't want to leave the school. We just don't want to risk losing another." He walked out to go find his wife and I looked over at Chris and said "Elena has a sister!? That's on campus!!!" Chris said "Holy shit." I started to cry. I couldn't even imagine if that was my father gathering my things like that. As soon as we get back home the first thing I do is run up to my father and hug him and I just started balling my eyes out. He said "Well, you clearly missed me." I playfully, but also seriously punched him in the chest, which is rock hard and muscular, so I really only hurt my hand in the process and my dad started chuckling and said "Wow, ow, that hurt so much." He couldn't tell that I was truly upset about something at first but when we got into the house, he sat next to me on the couch and said "Is everything okay?" As soon as I was about to speak Chris came downstairs and said he was going to go home for a little bit to see his mom and his family, and I hugged and kissed him goodbye and he said "I'll be back in a few hours, don't worry." Then he looked over to my dad and said "See you later." Before my dad could attempt to continue the conversation I said "I'm going upstairs to take a nap, I missed my bed so much." He responded with "I cleaned the sheets, and even washed the shirt you make that teddy bear wear." I laughed and said "That's his favorite shirt." My father laughed as well and said "Aren't you a little too old for teddy bears now Lacey?" I was four steps up at this point, but I walked back down towards the kitchen and said "No. I'll never be too old for that teddy bear. You gave me that teddy bear, and it was even yours as a kid. And I'm going to give that same teddy bear to my kid one day." He smiled and said "I was just messing with you, kiddo." I was just about to drift off into a deep sleep but then I jumped up because I suddenly remembered Elena, and Niki. I walked back downstairs, and my dad was on the couch. I sat down next to him and he said in a heavily sarcastic tone "Wow, why did you nap for so long?" I said "Did you hear about anything that's happened at my school, like on the news or anything?" He said "No..... Why? Was your school on the news or something?" I looked shocked and said "You didn't hear about the girl that went missing?" He said "Holy shit. No." I loooked down at my teddy bear and said "She was my roommate." He said "Jesus Christ Lacey, is this why you're so upset?" I said "Yeah, I mean, I didn't really know her at all we never talked much, but today I saw her parents packing up her stuff, and they were crying, and apparently the police called off the search. I just couldn't imagine if that was you packing up my stuff and not knowing what happened to me." He looked at me and said "Lacey, I don't know what I would do either, but I'm thanking the universe right now that it wasn't. You have a lot of friends who go there you should be fine. Just be careful and do what I always taught you."  I said to myself you never taught me how to cover up a murder or how I should feel about it afterwards. I suddenly get a text message and looked down at my phone, and it was a group message from a blocked number. It had Chris, Quinn, Kyler, Chandler, Aidon, Hannah, and Keith inside the group message and it said "How sweet. Lacey misses her daddy. Tell that bitch not to ask to be home schooled or I'll light the bitch on fire." My dad looks over at me and says "Was that Chris? When's he coming back I want to know when to lock the door." I said "It's okay, I'll take care of it." He said "Alright." Then he stood up, kissed the top of my head and said "Goodnight." After he walked upstairs I started sobbing. I threw my face into one of the couch pillows. Chris called my phone and he said "Hey baby, I'm almost there. Did you see the group text?" I said through my tears "Yes." He said "It's going to be okay baby, I'll be there in just a few minutes." A knock appeared at the door and I opened it expecting Chris, but it was Quinn and Chandler. I said "Guys, my dad was only expecting Chris to stay the night." Quinn said "I don't care man, did you not see that text? We're not leaving you alone." Later the whole crew showed up and we sat in my room all night without being able to sleep. I said "Guys I'm really fucking scared. This person knows entirely too much. I thought it would stop now that we're not at school, but it's still going. How could that person know my dad said I could be homeschooled if I wanted if I could last until Thanksgiving break? He didn't say that over the phone or anything and he said it before the first day of school." Kyler said "It has to be Niki, Lacey." I said "She didn't even know my dad said that. How would anyone fucking know that besides me and my dad? I think you're right Kyler someone set us specifically up. They had to have been watching us before we even got to school." Chris said "Lacey, please. I think you're overreacting. Giving everything that's happened it would be common sense to want to be homeschooled. It was probably just a coincidence." I burried my face into my pillow and said to myself "I really hope so." Chandler said "Guys, my mom didn't even know a girl from our school went missing. It's like they're trying to cover it up or something." I said "Yeah, my dad didn't know either." Quinn said "It makes sense, right? Giving the history of the land I would want to keep it a secret too if I were them. The whole "the land is possessed" theory would be re-awaken and the school would be shut down and the local area would officially go to shit and turn into an actual ghost town. It's weird too because I went by Niki's house just to see her mom and talk to her considering Niki is quote on quote "missing," but there was mail stacked up by the front door. Newspapers from September. It's like her mom disappeared into thin air too." Keith who showed up later through my window, said "Is anyone else starting to see a pattern here? Someone dies when Niki's around, and then her and her mother flee to cover it up. That's if the article we read was actually about Niki, which at this point I'm not doubting it."

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

It's Thanksgiving, and my dad and I joined Chris' family since we don't really have much of our own, at least locally. A couple hours into the get together the same unknown number from the group text a couple days ago texted us again. It said "Gobble Gobble bitches. I'm thankful for you guys as my own personal dolls, that I now control. What are you guys thankful for? Xoxo" I looked up at Chris across the table who read the text and finished at the same time I did, and we both had a shocked expression on our face. After dinner the crew met up at our old meet-up spot, under the bridge at Falcon Park. Chris said "This is bullshit. This has gone on way too long. We need to find Niki and confront her, this isn't funny anymore." Kyler said "I just don't see why Niki would do this." A couple of days went by and it was time to go back to school. By the time we pull up to the school we see ambulence's and police cars everywhere. I look over at Chris very puzzled and then we see Quinn getting out of the car running up to his friend TJ who was already here and standing outside. I see them talking for a little bit and Quinn began to grow pale-- well, much paler than he usually is. He walked back up to Chris' car and said "Drive to the diner in town we all need to talk." In the rearview mirror I see him tell the rest of the party crew car by car, then he gets back into his own and follows. We all anxiously cram into the biggest booth the diner provided and Quinn said to one of the waitresses "We're all going to need coffee." I couldn't take it anymore and said "Quinn, what the fuck is happening?" Quinn sat down and said "There was a dead body mutualated in the main courtyard. It's been there for a couple days." I said "Who was it?" Quinn paused as the waitress was serving us all coffees and creamers when she walked off he sipped his black coffee and said "Niki. It was Niki. She's apparently been dead since Wednesday night." Chris said "That means she didn't send the text on Thanksgiving. That means who the fuck did then?" Keith said "I honestly felt safer when I thought it was Niki fucking with us. Now it could literally be anybody, and they're obviously not done killing." Kyler added "Or fucking with us." I said "That means someone we don't even know, knows what we did." The crew sat in silence and we all got a really unsettled feeling. I could tell just by looking at everyone's faces. I added "I met Elena's parents when they were packing up her stuff... They said she has a sister who goes to our school. I'm guessing she's underclassmen." Kyler said "Well, we got to find out who her sister is." I said "True, but do you really think it could be her? I mean, if that were my sister and I know what happened to her, I would've rat the second I had the chance." Kyler said "If that were my sister, I'd seek revenge. Maybe she would too." We all drove back to the school a couple hours and six rounds of coffee later, and the police and ambulences were gone as if it never even happened. We walked to the main courtyard that was still caution taped off. I felt uneasy because I was looking at the place a very good friend of mine was decapitated, and torn apart limb from limb. Even with her twisted sense of humor and awful past she was a great friend. Giving the current circumstance it's safe to say she wasn't the one sending us those text messages. We all knew it, but nobody wanted to admit they were wrong, because that just means we'd have to think about who it could possibly be and we had no idea who to put on the suspect board. Chris could tell I was feeling really uneasy so he touched my lower back and said "Baby are you okay?" I couldn't say anything before the feeling turned into an urge, and I ran over to the bushes and threw up. Chris came over with me and held my hair and comforted me when I was done. I began crying and just put my head in his lap. A few days go by and Hannah, Chandler, and I go to Niki's room. We know Niki's mom is M.I.A. so no one would come get her stuff. Probably a horrible thing to do, but we wanted to rummage through her stuff before the school just threw it all away. Besides, some of it really is memories she's shared with us. Can't just throw something like that away. I see Chandler and Hannah looking through her personal belongings and I'm hacking her laptop to get passed the password. I guess Chandler saw me do it and she said "Woaaaaaaah. How'd you do that?" Hannah said "Lacey's been hacking shit forever. Literally since we were little kids she would hack people's MySpace accounts." I said "You're making me sound like a criminal." Then I giggled and added "It's a good skill to have especially in times like this." However I couldn't find a single thing on her laptop upon officially accessing it. The whole computer was wiped clean, and I thought that was very suspicious and strange and so did Hannah, and Chandler. I put the computer through a recovering process and only a few things resurfaced. Mostly just pictures from a camping trip we all took back a few years ago. Everything was so simple then and we were all so happpy and young. I transfered those pictures to an SD card and gave up on the computer when there was no dirty evidence to be found, or at least recovered. I look around at some of her jewelry and photos. She had one of me and her from that camping trip and it's my favorite picture of us. Back then Niki was a great friend, not a suspected psychopath. It kind of upsets me how we all threw her under the bus so fast just to make us feel safer and content with the situation. None of us ever gave Niki the chance to defend herself. Then again, she didn't exactly make it so easy for us to do so anyway, she tried to avoid us the best she could which still doesn't sit right with me. Why would someone who was innocent in the matter act so suspicious and make themselves look guilty? Chandler sat down on her bed and said "It's weird touching her stuff knowing she isn't here anymore." I was beginning to agree and Hannah walks out of the closet wearing her clothes. I said "Hannah, what the fuck? That's not a very good image. Just walking around in the dead girl's clothes. Lets make us look even more suspicious." Hannah said "Well, I don't have very many clothes. Haven't you wondered why I've been borrowing yours all the time? My mom sold my clothes at a yard sale for drug money when I was away at camp. I literally own three weeks worth of camp clothes."  I said "I honestly never thought anything wrong by you borrowing my clothes. You and I always shared each other's clothes. I'm sorry Hannah." She said "It's fine. I just didn't want to admit it. So would it be really bad if I took some of her clothes?" Chandler said "Well, it's not like the cops are gonna know that's Niki's clothes. Just don't take all of them, that'll look weird." I agreed with Chandler and Hannah said "Well, what about the others? What if they notice I'm in Niki's clothes? I don't want them to start suspecting me of anything." I said "Just tell the truth. You know none of them is going to judge you. We all know how your mom can be." Everyone was back at school but giving the tragedy classes were canceled for a few days, but the library was open until 3 AM for studying. We all met late that night around midnight in the library to actually talk about Niki. Quinn said "Even though she broke my living room window, I'll miss the girl." We were all pretty much quiet and Kyler lit a blunt and said "This is for you, Niki." Chris said "Are you an idiot? Don't smoke that in here." Kyler said "Relax, I do this all the time." I whispered in Chris' ear and said "I still want to sleep next to you." He said "I wouldn't blame you..... I'm a cuddling god." I started to smile but giving my current stress about everything I wasn't really in the joking mood. It was like a heavy dark cloud of negativity was following me and the weight of the world was sitting on my chest making it hard to breathe. Quinn said "It's weird how much this school seems to keep people in more so than the people it keeps out." Keith looked puzzled and said "What are you saying?" Quinn said "We all have cars, we all could just simply pack them up and never come back, but ever since Elena the school has been on lockdown which is understandable, but they won't let us out to even go into town but anybody can just show up. They let anybody in. It's just fucking weird. It's like they're protecting the outsiders from us, and not protecting us from the outsiders." Chris said "Everything about this school is starting to get really whack. I knew this place sounded too good to be true."

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

After the bell rang for humanities class the teacher called my name and said "Lacey, come here." I walked over puzzled and said "Is this about my paper? You gave me a grace period since Niki was my friend." He said "No this isn't about your paper, but it is about the class assignment you turned in yesterday." I said "Okay, what about it?" He said "You didn't get a good grade on it." I said "No kidding. I wonder why? Kind of hard to fit in studying while dodging a murderer on campus." The teacher clearly didn't appreciate my dark sarcastic remark. However, he said, "I can understand that and that is why I'm setting you up with a tutor. Scheduled tutoring, that way you're forced to have study breaks." I said "Gee thanks." Then walked out. I was fine with the tutoring. It wouldn't hurt. As long as he wasn't my tutor I'd be fine. I met up with Chris in the courtyard who surprised me with flowers. He said "I know you said you didn't want a party or gifts or anything, because of everything that's happened, but happy birthday." I said "Thank you and happy birthday to you too (We share the same birthday.) I didn't get anything for you though, I really thought we weren't doing gifts I'm sorry." Chris said "Baby, don't worry about it, all I want is you." I smiled and said referring to the flowers "But it's going to be hard for these things to get any sun with the January clouds." He said "It's alrght. Not worried about the flowers. Just you." I said "I'm okay. Just taking it day by day." Chris said "It's been two months since the last text and murder. Maybe this whack job found other people to terroize, or killed themselves, or died some other way. A whack job like that has to have a lot of people wanting to kill them or arrest them." I said "I feel it in my gut. It's not over. This person wants us to pay." Chris said "Jesus, Lacey. Don't say that shit." I said "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He said "It's okay. Just come back to my dorm with me, we'll make shitty cup of noodles for dinner and watch movies." I smiled and said "I would love that." On the way back to Chris' room we walk past Kyler who we haven't really associated with since early December-- his choice. He grew distant from us. In fact, the whole crew seemed to be distancing themselves. Me and Chris are basically the only ones who really have stuck together. We all still talk we just don't hang out as much. We all either joined a sports team, or some kind of club to occupy our time as a valid excuse to really not associate with each other. That was never explicitly said by anyone, but it was pretty evident. It also helped distract us from Elena and Niki and the secret filmmaker who gets off on fucking with us. Chris started the talking and said "Hey man." Kyler said "Sup?" Chris said "Wanna hang out later? Just a low key thing in my dorm for Lacey's birthday." Kyler said "Don't you mean for both of your birthdays?" Then he kind of smirked. Chris said "Duh" then Kyler said "Nah, I have weight training tonight for boxing. There's a meet this weekend." Chris said "Alright. Some other time then." I said "Shit, that reminds me. I have to go to tutoring tonight otherwise I get kicked off the swim team." Chris said "Tutoring? Since when?" I said "Dickhead humanities teacher signed me up for it because I got a D on our assignment I need to raise that D otherwise I get kicked out and/or benched and there's a meet next weekend." Chris said "You'll raise that D but is the swim team really the reason you're worried." I said "It clears my head." He didn't say anything, he just sighed heavily and said "Here, take some cash and get some snacks from the vending machine at least." I said "I'm sorry, baby. I would love to cuddle with you and watch shitty movies all night." He said "Yeah, me too." Then he walked off without even giving me a kiss. I know I've been acting distant lately, but can you blame me? Everyone seems to have forgotten. Either that or they're a lot better at pretending it never happened as opposed to me. How can you just forget being framed for murder, being filmed dumping a body, and having one of your best friends decapitated. At least I didn't have to see her body like Elena's. I think that really would've destroyed every ounce of composure I have left. A week goes by and Chris and I haven't really talked. I haven't slept in his room and he hasn't slept in mine. During the swim meet I saw him in the bleachers. That made me profoundly estatic. It made me realize that he's the only one really there for me. I need to be there for him as much as he is for me. After all, he went through everything I did too. We need each other now more than ever. After the meet I find Chris waiting outside the locker room for me. Before he even had a chance to say anything I practically tackled him by jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around him. He said "Nice to see you too." I let go and stand up and said "Thank you for being here tonight." He said "Of course. I wouldn't miss it." I said "Before you say anything... I'm sorry for acting distant. I love you." He just smiles really big and said "I love you too. Every one deals with things differently." I said "Well, we went through the same shit together. So we should help each other get through this. Distance isn't the answer. At least not for me and you." He said "I like that." Later that night around midnight Keith comes into the room to find me and Chris cuddling. Keith said "Didn't mean to interrupt." Chris said "We're just laying down, you're good." Keith sat down on his bed and said "Something's up with Kyler." I said "What do you mean?" Keith said "I didn't wanna say anything before I had any proof, but I think he's doing drugs." Chris asked "Hasn't he always?" Keith said "No, I don't mean weed. I mean like hardcore shit." Chris asked "And you have proof of this?" Keith said "Well, not physical proof, but I saw it with my own eyes. I think it started with steroids because of boxing, and I think it's escalated from that." I said "Well, if it's anything we know for sure about Kyler, it's that there's no changing his mind. If he's set on something he's going to do it, regardless of anyone else's opinion, no matter how self destructive it is." Keith said "Despite all the shit, we're still friends with him, right? We should be there for him." Chris said "Honestly, fuck that. I know we all played a part in that night, but the determination, and manipulating Kyler implanted in all of us that night has made me look at him different ever since. I'll be cordial with him, just because of the circumstance, but he is not my friend. And whether he had anything to do with her death or not, the fact he was so adamant about not going to the police, and saying he would frame us if we did, just makes him just as dsgusting as the person who did that to Elena." I said "Chris...... That night is all our faults. None of us went to the police." Chris said "Yeah, because Kyler was going to frame anybody that would. In our minds, we were frantic, scared, obviously never had to deal with a situation like that before, and we didn't wanna be framed." I said "I think our fear of being framed, made us actual suspects.... I mean.... We did get rid of the body." Keith said "I'm done talking about this."

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As I'm in the locker room changing after a swim practice the locker room gradually clears out and I'm left alone which isn't unusual, but today something felt off. I felt paranoid, and I felt like I was being watched. As I get out of the shower, and head back to my locker to change the lock was opened and so was the locker. Whoever did it knew my combination. It was a personal lock not a school issued one. How this person found it out is beyond me, and it shook me to my core. I slowly approached it not knowing what to expect, and my clothes were gone, every thing in my locker was gone. There was just a polaroid of Niki, taken by her killer. She was tied up and her mouth was duct taped shut, she had tears coming down her eyes, and she was holding a sign that said "you're next." I ran across campus in my towel to Chris with the polaroid in my hand. I got a lot of laughs and dirty looks from people as I ran all the way to the other side of the school in my towel. Not only does this person want to murder us, I guess they want us to face humiliation as well. I was out of breath and so shaken by the time I reached Chris, that he started freaking out and panicking because he wanted to know what was wrong with me. I showed him the polaroid, and told him the person took my clothes and even my backpack with all my school work in it. Chris said "holy shit," because that was all he was physically capable of letting out, because he was so distraught from the situation. Keith was in the room witnessing all of this and said "If the killer took your clothes, that means they're probably going to use them on the next victim. Ya know, like he did with Kyler's jacket on Elena's body." This made me start crying even harder and Chris just held me tightly. He wasn't sure what else he could, and he knew nothing would make this situation go away or make it any better. He felt defeated. We all did.

[jrgarcia]

What’s the Gambler 500? It’s a Road Trip Rally

“It’s not a race, it’s a challenge.” A quote taken from 1976 film the Gumball Rally. Let me set the record straight that the Gambler 500 is NOT, I repeat, not a race or a timed event. This is a navigation rally designed to show you the Oregon landscape while having road trip fun in a wacky car with friends. The gamble comes from showing up to the start line in whatever, road legal, vehicle you can piece together that can survive 500 miles over a two day event. The Gambler 500 is Wacky Racers meets Family Vacation at the start of the 24 Hours of Le Mons. A motoring event unlike anything you’ve seen.

Team Rabid Beaver aka Red Beaver

How I ended up in Portland, Oregon on the eve of the Gambler 500 is a story that took a year in the making. It all started when I randomly came across a Facebook video clip of last year’s Gambler 500. It showed a bunch of wild cars and trucks being taken off road with big smiles all around. It looked fun. I shared it saying I would add it to my bucket list. One friend agreed, and meant it. Jeremy Mahovlich, a friend, fellow auto writer, mini truck aficionado, and general car nut from Vancouver, Canada. He was actually one of the first people I asked for advice on how to get into the automotive media racket in 2014.

At the start of 2017 he tagged me on another Gambler video asking if we should actually do this rally. I said yes, but in the same way friends agree that they should open a bar together. Sincere but with no real plan to actually go through with it. Wishful thinking. I didn’t think I would actually be at this event until he showed me the photos of the car he and Ron Kertesz, Rabid Beaver Co-driver, had bought at the auction. Soon as I saw the car in Jeremy’s driveway I started looking for flights.

The Red Beaver is a 2002 Ford Focus ZX3 hatchback with a 5-speed manual and that Jeremy picked up for $600 bucks. After a mild tune up of new spark plugs, fluids, and an air filter the car was given spacers to add ground clearance. The wheels were painted white and an Amazon Prime ordered light bar was dressed on the grille. Jeremy and Ron created a spoof livery on the Red Bull rally car of the same era. (Points for creativity!) I had no idea how the car was going to look until I saw at 11 pm the night before the race. Seeing my name on a professional looking rally car was a really good feeling.

A Symphony of Misfires

The start of the rally was a symphony of sputtering exhausts pipes, squeaky fan belts, and rough idling engines. Hood slams echoed as gamblers pushed their heaps to the start line. This was the 4th running of the Gambler. In previous years attendance was small. Around 40 teams entered last year, but thanks to social media a record setting 300 was expected to show up at the Portland Meadows horse track to start gambling. We arrived at 8 am and saw that over 700 teams had showed up! Unpresented and unplanned.

Teams ranged from chump cars and junkers to full builds and customs. Everything on wheels was represented at the event. AMC Eagles, lifted Crown Vics, a JDM Firetruck, 70s land yachts and wagons, limos, Pontiac Fieros, a white hearse, smokey motorcycles, ex-food trucks, vans, muscle cars, Jeeps and Subarus, and a $600 Toyota Prius! Our unofficial celebrity guest was Fred Williams, editor-at large for Peterson’s 4-Wheel & Off-road and host of Dirt Everyday, who showed up in a wicked 4×4 Dodge Tradesman.

Fred William’s Far Out 4×4 Dodge Tradesman

When Team Rabid Beaver set off it was 11 am and we were the 721th car to leave the starting point. We were given a paper with a list of GPS coordinates to different way points along the way towards the overnight checkpoint. Each waypoint ranged in road difficulty. Easy ones were just off the highway. Median way points involved dirt roads and pot holes. The most hardcore off road waypoints were appropriately named “Satan’s B***hole” in terms of difficulty. These required ATV permits. Vehicles that could handle rock climbing.

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There were only two rules in the rally, “If you aren’t having fun, go find some!” And “Always be Gamblin!” Enjoy the fun of being the weirdest convoy on the road. Driving through small towns like a herd of renegades in vehicular cosplay. Playing on the CB to live out your Cannonball Run day dreams while following the unwritten rule of stopping if you see a fellow Gambler on the side of the road. Big feeling of comradery among us as Gamblers. We were all here to have fun and nearly everyone was a first timer so we all shared the experience.

The Gambler 500 was sponsored by NAPA auto parts which gave Gamblers a 10% discount during the race. Also, the Gambler is not a race so you don’t need to wear crash helmets or invest in a 5 point safety harness. Only things required on gambler vehicles is for it to be road legal and a CB radio for emergencies since cellphone signal can be dicey in the Oregon country side.

Woodstock for Oil Burners

The overnight checkpoint for the rally was a ski lodge near the city of Sister, Oregon, named Hoodoo (Who-doo). By the time the Red Beaver arrived the ski lodge was completely full and we had to park in the street along with several dozen other Gambler teams.

Hoodoo entrance gate

The scene was wild. Crazy cars littered the parking lot with tents and camps set up around them. Alcohol vendors were on the scene handing out samples and by 10 pm everyone was holding at least one sudsy beverage in their hand. Live music echoed as we walked the grounds checking out the cars and observing the crowd. Guns, cars, and music was the only topics of conversation. No politics, no current events. Nothing annoying. There was even a city bus that had been converted into a mobile Tattoo parlor that was opened for business.

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What amazed me was that we had over 800 vehicles, with 3 or more people per vehicle. At least 90% of us were new to the event with drinks flowing freely. I didn’t sleep at all that night, mostly because I didn’t prepare for winter conditions in July. Spending the night freezing allowed me to listen and observe the campgrounds. Were we loud? Of course! But all you could hear was talking and laughter. No fighting, no shouting, no foul language echoing in the distance, no dangerous burnouts, and no cops. It was surreal seeing such a diverse group of people spending the night together and getting along. No drama, just civil fun with beer breathe.

Naturally the restrooms were a mess but what do you expect? A few wild cards started setting off fireworks but were quickly shut down (Smokey the Bear didn’t approve). Others who brought bikes were riding up and down the ski slopes in the darkness. A few college kids dancing on the hoods of cars. The point is that all these people showed up and nobody got hurt, nobody was offended, and nobody’s car caught on fire. The planets were aligned in the Gambler’s favor that night.

By 2am most had gone to sleep except for a few dozen huddled around the bonfire. The band had called it a night and allowed anyone to grab an instrument and jam. I couldn’t sleep so I stood listening to the group of strangers play together. They played tunes that reminded me of Link Wray and Dick Dale. Surfer music, exhaustion, and the few beers I had made for some essential thinking while looking up at the stars in the moonless Oregon sky.

Junkers for a Good Cause

The end of the rally was back at Portland Meadows were it began. All cars were able to cross the finish line and park in the horse track infield to create the most outrageous looking parking lot. Once we were all here the awards were given out. This year’s winner was given to a man who visited all the waypoints in a $500 Honda 500cc motorcycle that he put together days before the rally started.

The cherry on top of the Gambler 500 sundae is the auction held after the awards. At the end of the rally anyone who wants to sell their ride can do so at the auction and 100% of the money goes towards the Children’s Cancer Association. How awesome is that? Anyone who buys a gambler car will have an automatic entry for next year’s rally.

Sold for $500

Ramblin for Next Year’s Gamblin

I was able to talk briefly to T. Cole, founder and organizer for the Gambler 500. My main question for him was how they planned to control the number of Gamblers for next year. A large attendance was a great surprise but things could have quickly gotten out of hand. No secret that we were lucky this year. Cole couldn’t give me a definitive answer but I assume that ticket sales to partake in the rally will be in order next year. Money will be the factor that separates the real Gamblers from the trouble makers. The Gambler 500 is not a Gumball 3000 or Cannonball Run. They want this to be a family friendly event that focuses on fun and not speed.

I was able to talk to Fred Williams and ask him for a quote on this event. His answer was as accurate as it was funny.

“The Gambler 500 is all the people waiting to be extras in the next Mad Max movie.”

After spending 2 days looking at some of these creative rides I can certainly agree with him. Everyone was friendly and everyone I talked to was excited to do this again next year. Jeremy, Ron, and I spent most of the time on the road thinking of theme ideas for next year. What kind of car? Livery and costume ideas? How will one decision impact the other? Best road game ever. Check out the Gambler 500’s FB page to see more content and vides of this year’s gamble.

Below is a gallery of some of the Rides from the Gambler 500.

The Battleship Lincoln

Original drivetrain and chassis, slightly modified of course

Used to be a 1999 Crown Vic

Used to be a 1970 Cadillac

$600, owner just removed all fuses and added a skid plate

Miniature Dog Van

1941 Dodge Power Wagon Weapon’s Carrier. All original!

Beastie Boys Cosplay

Mighty MG

“If you ain’t first….”

Fancia, Get it?

It’s a Pontiac Fiero dressed up like a Lancia Stratos

Mary Kay Special

“Make Mexico Great Again”

My favorite decal of the entire event.

Gambler 500 is officially an international event.

These guys used the Gambler 500 as a company retreat. Are they hiring?

Not your typical hair dresser’s car

No idea, but I want one.

A mail truck Jeep!

Discount Roadkill Muscle Truck

Good Old Truck

Only Suzuki represented

Long live the Crown Vic

Reminded me of 80’s NASCAR

This Cheby was wraped in printed Duct Tape

Looked as if the internet had vomited on this thing.

A Pontiac Bonneville dressed to look like the T/A Trans Am

Get It?

Great name for a Crown Vic

Breakdown lane to the Danger Zone

Team Suburbia

Moon Buggy Scoobie

“This is a van”

An International Pickup, these are getting rare.

Crown Vics were a favorite vehicle of choice at the G500

AMC Eagles!

A Brown 70’s Olds, love it.

a JDM fire truck

Left hand drive

Canadian Mopar

Wizard Van

The OJ Special

An Olds Cutlass

Imagine seeing this heard in your rear view

Mad Max Mustang

Mark 5 Mercury Wagon

I called it the Mercury 5

A hearse, because of course

I want one

Honda hatchback

Mods

These 2 Camaros drove all the way from the East Coast to be here

Costumes are encouraged

Strongly encouraged

AMC Eagles, may they live on

This Dodge looked ready for the Baja 500

Push

This food truck reject was sold at the auction for $400

Read more stories and articles here.

A road trip rally, a two day party, and a charity car auction. This is the Gambler 500. What’s the Gambler 500? It’s a Road Trip Rally “It’s not a race, it’s a challenge.” A quote taken from 1976 film the Gumball Rally.

#4x4 #adventure #chump cars #driving #entertainment #gambler 500 #lemons #lifestyle #news #off roading #oregon #road rally #travel #wacky cars #writing

[jam-esc]

About two weeks ago, I came across this post on Twitter:

pervadere #FunkyAF #SummerFilmParty [Sprocket Rocket, Cinestill 50D] pic.twitter.com/ye68ObcRRD

— kim (@kimmiechem2) June 20, 2017

I liked the photo and left a  comment, and Kim replied:

Definitely recommend the Sprocket Rocket to panos lovers. Cheap & cheerful. Definitely is a light hog, however. 🙃

— kim (@kimmiechem2) June 22, 2017

About an hour of research, an hour of hunting for a good price, a debit card number, and 4 days later, I was unboxing yet another toy…

The day before the Sprocket Rocket arrived, Hamish Gill posted an interesting article about his Hasselblad X-pan and why he sold it after only 5 rolls (well, 5 rolls and 18 months).

He bought the X-pan because he thought “…it had the potential to provide me with a unique perspective, that it might challenge my framing, enable me to shoot frames that felt cinematic, and even give me a sense of medium format photography…” but then never shot with it. At $75, my investment in the Sprocket Rocket is not so high, and if I don’t end up using it much, I’m not out much. Plus, while I think the Sprocket Rocket has the potential to provide a unique perspective, challenge my framing, and encourage cinematic feel in my images, I bought it for the fun as much as anything, so I’m not sure I can lose, or, not in the same way as Hamish did with his X-pan.

I was particularly interested in Gill’s general comments around panoramic photography—in particular the “landscape trap”—and I tried (and will try) to keep it in mind when playing with the Sprocket Rocket. 

And with that, the mail carrier arrived, and I got to unboxing…

Now, I really don’t need another camera, but the Sprocket Rocket is one of the most interesting-looking and different cameras I’ve seen in awhile.

Lomography took inspiration from (or ripped off) an old bakelite camera from the late 1930s and early 1940s, made in Chicago, and marketed under about 20 different names, and this gave the camera a fun and funky sort of Art Deco feel that I really love.

With a groovy design in hand, Lomography modified the insides in several ways ways. Where those old cameras had a 50mm fixed lens and produced 4x3cm negatives on 127 film, the Sprocket Rocket has a 30mm lens and captures 36 x 72mm (or 24x72mm) panoramic negatives on 35mm film.

Now, I’ve seen and been intrigued by the cameras like the Hasselblad XPan and Fuji TX-1 and TX-2, and medium format 6x17cm cameras like the the Fuji GX617, Linhof Technorama 617, and other, less famous (and less expensive) panoramic cameras, but couldn’t ever see needing that format, especially for the price.

But at $75, I couldn’t really resist the Sprocket Rocket.

Now, comparing the Sprocket Rocket, another hunk of plastic from Lomography, with precision engineered marvels like the Fuji cameras that I’ve never used may sound silly, but bear with me…

A 90mm lens on a 617 format camera produces negatives that cover about a 90° area of view. The 30mm lens for the Hasselblads and Fujis  cover 94°. But the Sprocket Rocket gives 103° of coverage, and produces negatives 8mm wider (and 10mm taller) than the fancy ‘blads and Fujis.

Sure, it’s all plastic and only has one shutter speed (or two, if you count Bulb) and 2 rather limited apertures, but still.

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Speaking of apertures, Lomography claims the cloudy setting is f/10.8 and the sunny setting is f/16, but virtually eveyone (including Kim, above) claims the camera is light hungry, and the User Manual is explicit. From the section titled “How to Achieve Correct Settings:”

These settings have been designed for using 400 ISO film speed.

Also, under “Trouble Shooting:”

Q: I only got a few images on my roll, and most of them are very dark. A: Most probably you have been underexposing your images or even using slow speed 100 ISO film. Try out a 800 ISO film which is more light sensitive and be sure to use the B shutter in shade and indoor to get more light on the film. A flash will also brighten up any pictures (sic.), day or night!

Now, with a fixed shutter speed of 1/100th and an aperture of f/16, the Sunny 16 rule would indicate proper exposure with ISO 100 film. If you need 400 speed film in bright daylight, then the shutter speed must be faster than 1/100th, or the aperture smaller than f/16, or I don’t understand the Sunny 16 rule.

Jamie Zucek ran some tests on Provia 400: Sprocket Rocket vs. Nikon F100 with 20mm lens. He guessed the apertures to be more like f/16 and f/22.

Not wanting to “waste” any film, I threw caution (and manufacturer suggestions) to the wind and bulk loaded a couple of rolls of Konica Pro 160. I figured late June in North Texas would give plenty of bright, sunny days, and even f/22 at 1/100th should be decent enough on ISO 160 film.

And I was right, mostly.

I started out shooting sprockets, as the camera was designed for. I shot in bulb mode a good bit, trying to err on the side of overexposure, rather than under, and it almost worked.

A selfy, handheld for 10 seconds on the Cloudy setting, turned out surprisingly well.

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But, in general, the Sprocket Rocket really is surprisingly light hungry. Here, for example, are two shots, taken back to back about 1 in the after noon on a very bright day, the first on cloudy, the second on sunny. There are clouds visible, but the sun was out and almost directly overhead. It was bright out, and hot.

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You can see a bit of flare in the center of the frame. The sun was well out of frame, but still high above. I guess flare is to be expected from a plastic lens, but it’s a pleasant-enough flare, and only popped up in these two frames. (The wild colors in the cloudy shot probably came from bulk loading: the first frames on almost every bulk roll I load are fogged, I think because I’m rolling into old canisters, maybe they’re no longer light tight, or maybe the loading does something to the felt? No idea, but it happens on every roll: I lose about 10″ of film to red fog.)

Even with these, though, underexposure continued unabated… These two, for example, were shot in what I considered broad daylight on, but were somewhat underexposed. Sure, I was in shade, but the sun was blasting the scene. The first was shot about 2pm, and the sun wasn’t overhead, but hadn’t disappeared behind nearby skyscrapers yet; the second was later in the day, maybe 3:30 or 4, and partially blocked by my neighbor’s house, but why is the sky a stop or two under?

This one, shot under evening window light, was way underexposed at 2 seconds on the cloudy setting. I still like it, but it’s really a shame: my darling, adorable wife had some great henna tattoos on her darling, adorable hands for Eid, and I didn’t get this roll developed in time to realize how far off it was.

(The red line and creases in the above two came from some issues I had with humidity in the dark bag while loading: I think they add some interest that wouldn’t be there otherwise.

With a little massage after scanning, I did get some acceptable shots, all on the cloudy setting, if my notes can be believed. They’re still off, but closer.

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I was pleasantly surprised by the long exposure I took to finish off the roll on my drive into work one morning. I think this was handheld for about 15 seconds.

I really wish I could hold cameras steady in the car at 75mph… Alas.

After that first roll, I inserted the mask, and shot another roll sprocket-less. I won’t bore you with too many of the details, but I like the sprocket-less shots. Pure pano, with no distraction or hipster stuff. I like the extra height from the sprockets, though, and it might be worth trying some unperforated film, if I can find some in 400 speed.

I had some underexposure issues with these too, and learned my lesson about “slow” film in the Sprocket Rocket. (I shot a roll Labeauratoire [kromiəm] 500 at the 4th of July parade that came out a bit better, and God willing I’ll share some shots from that next week.)

So, the Sprocket Rocket.

For $75, it makes a great gateway to the world of Panoramic photography. The plastic lens is surprisingly sharp, for a plastic lens, and the camera is, indeed, cheap and cheerful. I had loads of fun with it, and look forward to putting many more rolls through it.

There is some bad to the camera, as fun as it is. It distorts horribly, but if you know how to work it, you can manage. I haven’t gotten there yet, but I can imagine ways to work with it. It’s imperative to keep the camera level, though, or to keep any horizontal or vertical lines near the middle of the frame.

In the same vein, vertical panoramas are really hard to pull off. They’re just too tall, and the distortion is, again, atrocious.

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Portraits could be interesting, and I can imagine some interesting results with some slow, fine grained film (and high-powered, wide angle strobes). Maybe something like Robert Longo’s Men in the Cities series… I need to write that down.

And one last issue that I haven’t run into yet comes from the frame counter thing.

  On the left side, looking down from the top, between the rewind knob and the flash shoe, there are two circular depressions with little holes in. The one nearest the flash shoe displays the frame numbers; the one near the rewind knob shows a little white dot when you’ve wound far enough for a new frame. This dot is tiny and goes by really quickly, so you must pay close attention when winding.

But those are all just minor complaints: for what it is, primarily a means to shoot sprockets and super-wide angle panoramas, the Sprocket Rocket is great, and it’s cheap enough and as well built as a plastic camera can be. It’s also surprisingly fun and easy to use.

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Overall, I give the Sprocket Rocket a solid 4

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You can pick up brand new ones in a variety of fun colors for $90 direct from Lomography, or brave the wilds of eBay and the internets for used or grey market versions. Lomo was out of stock of the black one when I was shopping, but a nice Chinese firm shipped me one for $75, and if you’re patient, you can probably find one cheaper.

If you want to try out panoramic photography or shoot sprockets, there’s really not a better way, imo… There may be sharper or more optically well-corrected options, but none go as wide, as cheaply as the Sprocket Rocket.

Enter the Sprocket Rocket About two weeks ago, I came across this post on Twitter: pervadere #FunkyAF #SummerFilmParty pic.twitter.com/ye68ObcRRD — kim (@kimmiechem2) …

#Konica Pro 160 #Sprocket Rocket

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one. 

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.) 

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask) 

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone 

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes 

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time 

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red 

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes 

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried 

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately 

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way 

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter 

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met. 

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2. 

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day. 

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults 

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off 

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing 

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men 

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius 

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....” 

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered 

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum 

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now 

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once 

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further 

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings 

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times 

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me 

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people 

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died:  Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long 

Do you believe in… 77. yourself?  Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day? 

78. Miracles?  sometimes 

79. love at first sight?  I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew 

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well 

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry 

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange 

84. Eye colour:  Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did 

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too.