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bluebirdsbluebells · 4 years

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love lost - part three

pairing: jj maybank x reader

words: 5.8k (i got carried away im sorry)

warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions of drugs, angst

a/n: i totally got carried away with this chapter. i was originally just going to keep writing and writing and writing it, but i decided to split it, so there will be a fourth and final chapter after this one. thank you guys so much for the love on this fic. also! the anons that sent in requests, just know that i am working on them! i’ve been a bit slow lately, but i’m trying my best to get them done!

series masterlist

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True to your word, you continued to stay away from JJ. Twice you saw him out and about, but you avoided him, keeping your head down and your gaze averted from his own. You could feel him watching you though, waiting to see if you would finally let him back in. That was just something that you knew you couldn’t do. One wrong move and you could be a broken mess on the floor yet again.

When JJ shattered you, you felt as if you lost faith in yourself as well. You could no longer believe anything that he had to say to you, but you felt as if you weren’t any kind of trustworthy either. You felt like you had betrayed yourself; fucked up along the way and created the mess without even realizing its eventual doom.

You tried to stay strong though. You didn’t want Harry to worry any more than he already was. You hadn’t told him about your encounter with JJ on the street, and you hadn’t told him about Rafe’s odd comments either. You thought that it was best to keep quiet and try to move on with your daily activities.

But you weren’t a superhero. Everyone had their breaking point. Maybe you were just unlucky, but it seemed that you had several.

He came up from behind you; swiftly; unnoticed by anyone else. There was a static between his skin and yours as he grazed his fingers along your shoulders, grabbing your attention. You spun around, nearly crashing into the isle of pasta behind you.

“Jesus,” you cursed, stepping away from him. He was too close; you could smell the weed on his breath and the strong odor of his cheap fabric softener. You swallowed tightly. “Can we talk now?” JJ asked, his eyes meeting yours with desperation. They were bloodshot and far from appearing dry, and although he may have been crying, you settled for the alternative. It was unlikely that he would’ve been shedding tears when he reeked of marajuana.

“No,” you whispered, shaking your head as you side-stepped him, your breath catching in your throat.

Your mother had asked you to go out and get groceries for dinner that night. JJ was the last person you wanted to see, and you should’ve known that there were no safe places, not even the supermarket on a dreary Wednesday afternoon.

“Please Y/N?” JJ pleaded, stepping back in front of you. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as he hovered over you, his hair falling into his reddening eyes. “You’re high,” you commented, your gaze dropping to the floor of the supermarket. There were a few cracks that ran along the tile, and you traced them with your eyes. JJ was wearing a pair of dirtied grey boots with black socks that poked above the tops.

“I came here to see you,” he said, rocking back on his heels. You tried to step around him again, but he moved to the side, blocking your path. In the back of your throat you felt a tickle, and you sucked in a breath, fighting with yourself to keep it together. “You followed me here, didn’t you,” you whispered, your head still staying turned to the ground, but you lifted your eyes to glance at him. “I told you that I would talk to you when I was ready.” “And you’re not ready?” JJ asked, his voice rising slightly. When you winced he licked his lips and lowered it, and you watched as his chest rose and fell with a heavy breath. “You’re not ready?” He repeated quietly.

You shook your head, turning your neck to the side. “Get out of the way,” you said, your grip tightening on the plastic handle of your shopping basket. From down the aisle a woman rolled her cart towards the spices, one squeaky wheel screeching against the tile.

“Y/N, I just want to talk to you. I know you don’t trust me, and that’s fine, but I just need to explain myself.” “There’s nothing to explain,” you muttered, pulling your lower lip through your teeth. “It’s perfectly clear.” “It’s not,” he corrected, holding up his hands as if he was trying to steady you, but you didn’t need comfort, you needed to get out of there. “If you would just let me-” “Excuse me,” you mumbled, then you turned on your heel, briskly walking away from him. Your eyes darted to the side as you hurried down the aisle, then quickly slipped into the one over, which was stocked with crackers and chips. You let out a shaky breath, then set down your basket, trying to collect yourself. He was following you. Following you. You had told him that you would give him a chance eventually, but he was too impatient to even respect that you wanted more time.

“Y/N.” He startled you, and you flinched back, nearly tripping over your shopping basket. JJ stood to your left, his arms hanging limply at his sides. He had a blank expression on his face, and if you had to pick one word for the look in his eyes you would’ve picked “defeated”.

“I told you that I would talk to you eventually,” you said, stooping down to pick the cart back up. “But that day isn’t today JJ.” “You won’t do it,” he said quietly. “You’ll just keep avoiding me and nothing will ever get said and you’ll slowly forget about me.” Your lips twitched; a sign that you were close to tears.

“You’re wrong,” you replied, shifting the basket between your sweaty palms. What you really wanted to say was ‘I won’t ever forget about you’, but you just couldn’t. “I told you I would listen and I will. Just-” “Now,” JJ said, shaking his head at you. “You’ll talk to me now. I can’t keep putting it off Y/N. I’ve tried to talk to JB but it’s not the same. I need you to hear it from me.” “Hear what from you?” You weren’t sure where the surge of frustration came from, but before you knew it your voice was cracking while you spat back at him. “Hear that you cheated on me with three girls while I was sick in bed on your birthday? It coming from you doesn’t make it any better JJ, because I had to find out from my best friend first. I don’t need to hear shit from you.” He stared at you, and inside of his chest you imagined his heart shrinking, his stomach falling. You wondered how bad his pain was compared to yours. Had he sobbed and shrieked and dry heaved all night until his ribs ached and his mind no longer functioned? You didn’t think so.

“Excuse me,” a quiet voice said from behind you, and you turned around to face an older man with his shopping cart. You felt your cheeks flush red as you stepped to the side. JJ did the same, and the man gave the both of you a small smile as he wheeled the trolley past, his eyes scanning over the items on the shelves. You waited until he had turned the corner before you exhaled a heavy breath, looking away from JJ and back down at the ground. “If you don’t drop what you’re doing and talk to me now, you’re never going to talk to me,” JJ said quietly. You didn’t answer, just swung the basket around your legs. It bumped into your thighs, and JJ watched as you did it over and over, refusing to reply. “Why does it matter if we speak now as opposed to months from today? Y/N it doesn’t.”

“Nothing you can say will ever justify what you did,” you answered, finally looking back up at him. “You know that, don’t know?” You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, and then he ran a shaky hand through his hair. He seemed to take in your words, and then he took a slow step towards you, his head tilting as he spoke quietly. “I just want you to know what happened.” He was close to you. Three feet, maybe two. The smell of the weed wasn’t as strong as it had been when you first encountered him, but it would still be noticeable to any who passed him. You wouldn’t speak to him when he was high. You weren’t much of a smoker, but every once in a while you would hit a blunt or two with him and sit under the sky and talk. You would draw the line though. There were countless times when he would show up at your place completely shitfaced or crossed and you would take him in and look after him for the night, but when he fell asleep or left your place in the morning you were always panged with disappointment. You knew that it was his life and he could do whatever he wanted to do, but you found more often than not that he would smoke and drink to forget whatever he was going through. It was clear to you that he had done that then.

“If you want me to know so bad then tell me right here, right now,” you said. A pained expression crossed his face, and he shook his head. “I can’t.” “You can’t.” “I can’t do it in a fucking supermarket Y/N.” His voice rose, and you clenched your jaw, praying that you hadn’t attracted any unwanted attention. Your mother was probably at home wondering what was taking you so long. “Why not?” You whispered back, and your lip quivered as you spoke. “If it’s so important, then just fess up.” “You can’t just…” he trailed off, then let out an aggravated groan, causing the corners of your lips to turn down. “You need to hear everything. I- I haven’t been entirely honest with you Y/N.”

You blinked at him, disbelief on your face. “You think?” You snapped at him, and then you took a step back, shaking your head. You needed to control yourself. You couldn’t let your emotions get the best of you; a clear mind was what you had to have. Breathe in, breathe out. “I haven’t been honest about-” he swallowed “-other things either.”

To you, that was one of the most unbelievable sentences that you had ever heard in your life. JJ had left you broken and in despair after shattering your heart, and he was confessing that he had done not only that, but other things as well. You didn’t know what to say. You had no idea what to do. You wanted to burst into tears and fall into a heap in the middle of the store, but you also wanted to slap him straight across the face for telling you in the middle of a fucking grocery store that he had lied to you. Maybe it was what you deserved for not facing the problem head on.

You opened and closed your mouth at him, then slowly stepped away from him, shaking your head.

“You can’t do that to me,” you said hoarsely, and you watched as his face fell. He stepped towards you, holding out his hands, but you shook your head, pulling your basket away from him and picking up your pace. “Listen…” He started, but you held out your hand, urging him to stay back. You could see that he realized he had hurt you, and his shoulders sagged, but he stayed in place. You walked backwards all the way to the end of the aisle, and as soon as he was out of sight you beelined for the self-checkout. Tears brimmed your eyes as you aggressively slid all of your items across the small scanner, trying desperately to get it over with. You needed space, you needed air. You had to get out of that store. “Something wrong ma’am?” You heard a voice call from behind you, and you turned your head to see a middle aged man standing at your right, one hand gesturing to your items. They were scattered across the bagging shelf, and one slab of butter even sat on the ground. You hastily reached down to pick it up, trying to blink back your tears. “No,” you assured, giving him a short nod. “I’m just in a rush.” “Alright then,” he said, returning the nod. “Just be careful there. You may scan something twice.” He most likely was trying to get you to slow down so you didn’t miss scanning anything, but of course that was just his polite way of letting you know that he was watching. You took a deep breath, and then continued to swipe your items more carefully. You stuffed the things into your reusable bags, then hurriedly carried them outside. You didn’t worry about setting them carefully in the back, instead you just threw open the trunk and chucked the bags inside. There was a heavy weight on your chest, and you felt as if you were being threatened for air. As soon as your driver’s side door closed you let out a loud sob, one that wracked your shoulders. Your hands gripped to the steering wheel as you dropped your head, trying to heave in breath after breath. You weren’t sure if any tears actually fell from your eyes, but you still couldn’t see anything. Your vision was blurry and crowded, and suddenly you felt like if you were to try and stand, you would’ve crumpled to the ground, shrouded with betrayal.

There was a light tap on your passenger’s side window, but you didn’t lift your head. You had a pretty fucking good idea on who it was, and you weren’t pleased, but you didn’t have the energy to deny his presence for the millionth time. JJ opened the door slowly, then slipped inside, closing it quietly behind him. For a solid minute or two he didn’t say anything, and the only things that could be heard were the shaky rasps of your breathing and the sticky sound of you peeling your sweaty palms off of the leather of the steering wheel.

“Y/N,” JJ said quietly, and you pinched your eyes closed, your jaw clenching yet again. A pang shot through your chest. It felt like someone was taking Finochietto retractor and spreading your ribs right open.

“Were you lying to me the whole time?” You whispered, opening your eyes, but you kept your gaze at your shoes. Your hands still gripped the steering wheel, and your head still hung between your arms.

JJ was silent, and you darted your eyes over to him. He had a blunt in his hands, but it was unlit, and he only rolled it between his fingers, watching it. “Can we start at the beginning?” He asked quietly, and you dropped your gaze back to your shoes.

“The beginning meaning the beginning of our relationship or the beginning meaning when you started sleeping with other girls.” He sucked in a breath. “I didn’t sleep with anyone.” You rolled your tongue along your teeth, then sniffled before letting out a humourless laugh. “That’s what they all say.” “I’m telling the truth Y/N.” “Five minutes ago you confessed that you were a liar JJ,” you said, raising your head from between your arms. “I don’t know what to believe.” Another pained look crossed his face, and he sighed heavily. JJ tucked the blunt back in his pocket, then ran his fingers through his hair.

“That’s fair,” he said slowly. You could tell he was trying very carefully to pick out the right words. One wrong move and you would kick him out and drive away, and he would probably never speak to you again. “That’s fair Y/N. You have every right not to trust me. I know that you probably won’t believe what I have to say, but I need to tell you. I haven’t been fucking sleeping or eating… I’ve just been thinking about you too much; thinking about how much of a shitty person I am.” “You are a shitty person,” you said, barely hesitating. “You really hurt me, do you know that.” He nodded, his eyes falling to his boots. “I know.” You looked at him for the longest that you had looked at him since the breakup. You noticed the dark circles under his eyes and hollowed out sockets. He had always had a nice golden glow to his skin, but right then he looked pale and sickly, like he truly hadn’t eaten or slept in days. His face showed the look of someone who had been broken, but it was his posture that really sold it for him. His normally radiating confidence was absent. JJ’s shoulders sagged, and he hunched into himself as if he was terrified of the world around him. His fingers jittered and tapped in his lap, and you could practically feel the anxiety that he was feeling. In a way you mimicked each other perfectly. If someone would’ve walked by and seen the two of you, they would’ve never been able to guess who was the cheater and who had been cheated on. You were both at a loss, and that was why you didn’t immediately scream at him to get out. There was a tiny little part of you that almost felt for him, and urged you to hear what he had to say simply out of desperation. That tiny little part of you was the one that wanted to believe that he had never intentionally broken your trust so easily, and that little part of you won.

“Once I get started you have to promise to let me finish,” JJ said, and his eyes lifted from the ground to look over at you. You were hesitant, unsure about whether or not you would be able to let him stay. You were unsure if the news he was about to break to would’ve been worse than what you had already gone through. You were terrified of living those weeks all over again but doubled in pain.

“Y/N?” JJ asked hopefully. “Do you promise?” Gloomily, you nodded. There wasn’t any going back after that.

“I didn’t sleep with anybody. I haven’t slept with anyone since you, I swear to god. Whatever John B. thought that he saw, he didn’t see it.” “They were all over you,” you said flatly, raising your head further from the wheel. It hit your headrest, and you let out a long, slow breath. “JB said they were on your lap-” “They were,” JJ confirmed, and you swallowed tightly. “Let me explain. Just- just let me explain.” “Fine,” you breathed, and your whole body ached. He had just told you that there was a girl on his lap like he was telling you what the time was. He was too casual about it.

Little did you know it was because he was trying to brace himself; prepare for what he was about to say next. He was terrified to admit it to you, terrified that you were going to hate him more than you already did. He had never been so scared in his life. He had prepared speeches to give to you about everything that he had done, but every time that he saw you he always lost everything he thought he had memorized, and he felt like it was the day that the two of you broke up all over again. He was so helpless, but he needed you to know.

“I was having a really good night,” JJ started, and you closed your eyes again. You felt so tense, and you knew that if you didn’t breathe and try to calm down you were just going to take whatever he had to say even harder. “You guys really decorated that place up. It looked really really good Y/N.” You could feel as he looked over at you. “It was so much fun, but I kept wishing that you were there. I took a shot for you. I took five actually, but I kept needing more. I was just downing them like there was no tomorrow.” He chuckled, as if he was recalling the night. The sound of his laughter made your stomach churn, and you dropped your head to the left, opening your eyes slowly. The car beside you was pulling out of it’s stall, and the woman driving gave you a smile before she sped off. You didn’t return it.

“And then I got a text from Barry.”

“Barry?” You asked, your ears perking at the name. So Rafe had been onto something. “Like… Barry Barry?”

“Yes,” JJ answered shortly. “That Barry.” You closed your mouth, feeling another sob start to make it’s way up your throat. Your breath hitched. If the situation actually hadn’t been cheating then…

“Drugs,” you whispered, praying to god that it wasn’t true. You had always looked down on Rafe for doing coke, and you had never expected that your boyfriend -- well, ex -- would’ve been one to do the same. Maybe it wasn’t like that, but nothing seemed to be much of what you expected anymore anyways.

Either JJ hadn’t heard you or he ignored your comment, but he continued on his story, his voice noticeably shakier. “He told me he had a little birthday gift for me,” JJ said quietly. “He said he got someone that was going to drop it off, and to wait for them out the back door. I guess he knew that John B. was having the party or something -- I don’t know -- but he told me to go out back and wait for the guy, so I did.” He paused, and you heard him swallow, his breath catching in his throat. “It wasn’t a guy though. It was three chicks.” Fuck.

“Krissy,” you mumbled, and you felt a single tear escape from your eye. It slid down your cheek, and then plopped onto the grey fabric of your shirt. “I thought they were the gifts and I told them you know ‘no I have a girlfriend’ and shit like that, but they said they were just there to give me the stuff, and then they would leave.” Out of the corner of your eye you watched as he raked his fingers through his hair, then swipe his thumb over his lip. His knee bounced as well, and you chewed on your cheek, worry growing inside of you. “I said they could come in for a second so I could take a look at what they brought and so they came inside and we went in this room. I- I didn’t have any bad intentions at all Y/N, I swear. I didn’t want John B. or anyone to see the-” “What did they bring?” You asked impatiently. You tasted blood from where you had bit your cheek. “What?” “What did Barry give you?”

JJ hesitated. “Drugs.” You felt your stomach drop. Barry had sent three obviously beautiful girls to give your taken boyfriend drugs for his eighteenth birthday. There was something that wasn’t adding up to you, but maybe it was just because you didn’t want to hear it.

“And did you do them?” “Y/N-” “Did you do them at the party?” You pressured. “There? With the girls? With Krissy? Is that when you slept with them?” “I told you didn’t sleep with anybody,” JJ answered firmly, and you sighed, releasing your grip on the steering wheel only long enough to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “But I did do the... the drugs.” “And what was it?” He didn’t hesitate that time.

“LSD.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and then your hands slipped down from the wheel. He had told you that he would never do any hardcore drugs, and he said that he meant it. But he also said that he would never lie to you, and he had.

“They said that I had to do it there, and so I did.” “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” JJ admitted. “And Y/N… I don’t remember much from that night. Everything was a blur, but I wasn’t in there long enough to do anything with them, and they were high but they knew not to touch me.” “But they did.” “I know,” JJ whispered. “I know. I was confused Y/N. I was confused and I couldn’t figure out what was going on and- fuck! I couldn’t even find the fucking door so I just stayed there with them hoping that it would wear off soon enough so I could go back to normal and I could tell how grateful I was that you helped plan such a great party.”

The weight in your chest slipped from your sternum to the pit of your stomach. Even if you wanted to get up and leave him, you wouldn’t have been able to walk or even stand. It seemed like you had a thousand pound sack of bricks on your lap, and your legs were being mutilated. You felt trapped there with JJ in that car. “Why would Barry do that for you JJ?” You asked, turning your head to look at him. Your eyes filled up with tears once they met his, and his lip quivered. He licked it, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his blunt, absentmindedly playing with it. “Because…” he sucked in a breath, then exhaled it slowly. “Because I know him well.” You were scared of what he had to say. You were absolutely terrified to listen, and he was absolutely terrified to speak. There was an unbelievable tension between the two of you, and it threatened to break your bones in on you. “So where’s the lie JJ?” You whispered, your voice shaky. “Where’s the part where you haven’t been entirely honest?” He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he winced, looking away. Your expression matched his, and two more tears rolled out of your eyes and down your cheeks.

“I didn’t want to tell you,” he rasped, his tongue swiping over his top lip. “I never knew how.” “Tell me what, JJ?” “The drugs.” “The dru- oh.” You knew then. You knew it. Everything went through your head in a millisecond, and you knew exactly why he had behaved the way he had all those times. It was shattering news. It wasn’t as horrible as you thought it would be because it wasn’t the situation you thought it would be -- which was that he was going to confess he had been cheating throughout your whole relationship -- but maybe in a way it was worse. At least if he had cheated you could’ve expected it because you already had prepared yourself for that confrontation, but the actual truth was something that you hadn’t braced for, and it hurt like a motherfucker. If he had been honest with you from the start you could’ve probably gotten over it, but he had lied to you.

“What kinds of drugs?” You choked out. “All kinds,” JJ whispered back. He was ashamed to tell you. “Coke, tabs of all kinds of shit. Molly- I did molly sometimes.”

“Is that where you always went?” You croaked, your throat incredibly dry. “When you said you have to leave?” He hung his head. For a long time the two of you sat in silence, you with tears streaming down your face and him rigid, barely breathing. At some point he lit up his joint, and he dragged on it until it was nothing but a stump, and then he flicked it out the window. You just stared blankly at the steering wheel, your whole body numb. There was a saying that went something like “I’d rather be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie”, and in that moment there was nothing that you believed in more. All those months that you doubted yourself led to insecurities; were you good enough for him? Was he losing interest? Did he find you boring to be around? You could’ve saved yourself so much worrying if he had just told you the truth. When you began to doubt yourself you began to ultimately doubt him too, and late at night you questioned his loyalty. In a way though it felt as if you had still been cheated on. Felt like you were being cheated by the full honesty of your relationship. He wasn’t out with another girl, but he was with something that he couldn’t part with, not even to stay an extra hour after dinner, or hit a beautiful night at the beach. But your heart broke for him. He felt the need to lie to you. You wanted to tell him that it was okay, that it was going to be okay, and that you were okay, but you just couldn’t. Your chest was being ripped apart slowly, and you struggled to breathe. You couldn’t walk, you couldn’t talk. You were helpless and torn and hurt more than over; a combined hurt though, both yours and his. “You shouldn’t have had to keep that a secret,” you finally said, drawing out your words slowly as if you were hearing yourself for the first time. You still felt a betrayal, and you turned to him, shaking your head slightly with disbelief. “You would’ve rather had me believe that you cheated on me than admit that you do drugs?”

JJ opened and closed his mouth, and then slowly the tears pooled in his eyes, and his nose twitched like he was trying to hold back a sneeze. But he wasn’t, he was trying to hold back the sob that was threatening to take over his body. His chest crumpled in on him, and your own was panged with guilt and sorrow. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he averted his eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was so fucking ashamed to tell you and…” he trailed off and his voice broke as a cry took over his body. Seeing him in pain was a hundred thousand times more awful than just you being in pain. If you thought your heart had broken before, it was nothing compared to what you felt in that moment. You knew what he needed, and you gave it to him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, stretching yourself over the middle console as you pulled him into you.. He heaved heavy sobs into your chest, and you tugged him closer, your hands planting themselves firmly on his back. His body shook as he cried, repeating apologies over and over while your own tears fell into his hair and stained his shirt. “You don’t have to feel ashamed,” you whispered, your voice muffled by blonde locks. “You don’t ever have to feel like you need to hide anything.” “You hated that shit,” JJ sobbed, and you placed one hand on his head, right at the nape of his neck. “You hated it all, but with my dad and all the shit I had to deal with I just lost myself. I didn’t want you to think any less of me.” Your heart panged. Oh, how much you wished you could’ve taken his sadness from him. You wished that you could’ve stripped him from his pain and let him be swallowed by your arms and your embrace.

“Never,” you breathed, pinching your eyes shut. “Never. I would never.” “Molly Y/N. I did molly. I did hallucinogens,” he cried into your chest. You could feel the wetness of his tears seeping through your shirt, and if it was possible at all, you pulled him even closer, feeling the weight of his body against yours. It was uncomfortable over the middle console, but you didn’t care. He was in your arms after so many weeks of not being held, and you missed everything about him. You missed his scent and his laugh and his smile and his jokes and every little quirk that he had. But your pain still stood. “You really hurt me JJ,” you mumbled into his hair. “I expected the worst case scenario.” “Of course,” he whispered. “Of course.” You brought your hand up a little further on his head, then began to stroke your fingers through his hair. You could feel his body relax slightly into yours, and you let out a shaky breath. “Did you tell the others?” He shook his head into your neck. “Sort of. John B. I told almost everything, but he was still upset with me for lying.” You licked your lips, tasting the saltiness of your tears.

“Me too,” you said quietly. And the two of you stayed like that for a while longer. After you had stopped crying JJ still continued to sob, and his body didn’t stop shaking until he realized that you probably had somewhere to be. “I shouldn’t keep you,” he said, pulling away quickly and swiping at his eyes. “You bought that shit for a reason.” He gestured to the groceries. You slowly pulled away as well, wiping at your own cheeks and running a hand through your hair. There was no way that you could hide your breakdown from Harry. You probably had a million texts from your mother too; it was way past dinner.

“I should’ve listened to you sooner,” you admitted quietly, pulling at the hem of your shirt. You could see the tear droplet stains on the fabric, but you didn’t care. “I was just scared of what you were going to say.” “I should’ve told you sooner,” JJ replied, his voice soft and sad. He had never been good with his emotions, you both knew that, but you could tell that everything he said then had come from the heart. He meant every word that he spoke, and he was truly sorry. It was a comforting feeling, to believe him again, but you knew that it would take a long time to trust him again. “I’m sorry I avoided you and- and doubted you.” “Don’t ever be sorry,” JJ rasped, cracking a sad smile as he wiped his eyes again. “Maybe… maybe we can talk tomorrow?” You looked down at your lap, sucking in a long breath. It was a big step to meet with JJ again. Well, meet with him intentionally. But you knew that you had to speak to him more. You weren’t just about to leave him when he needed you most. You nodded. “I’m not going to abandon you JJ. I’m so sorry.”

@daygiowvibe @kaylinfayezink @imsad05 @vibin-n-thrivin

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #jj fic #jj imagine #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic #outer banks fanfiction #jj maybank series #lovelostseries #bluebirdsbluebellsfic

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rogerstoast · 5 years

Text

Garage Band//Roger Taylor x Fem Reader

warnings: fluff ig, really simple and cute

AN: I wrote this a long ass time ago and never revised it so apologies in advance for errors.

You were in your second year at Imperial College, and struggling to get through your second set of finals this year. Only three more exams to get through and you could finally say hello to summer.

The fact that you have been sitting at your desk studying for the last six hours, didn't help with stress either. No matter how much you studied, you just couldn't seem to grasp any bit of information from the papers in front of you.

Figuring it was going on six, and you have been sitting in an old wooden chair since noon, a well deserved break was needed. Capping your pen, you got up, stretched, grabbed your jacket and headed out of your dorm for a walk.

As you were walking down the streets of London, subtle music began to play in the distance. It wasn't half bad either. Quite decent actually. The music grew louder and you noticed a few, small groups of people, mostly girls, were gathered on the driveway of the house.

You looked both ways before crossing the street to see what was going on. Once you reached the house, it was hard to get about considering so many students were crowding the lot. Squeezing through and shoving past all the bodies was a struggle, but you managed to get to the front and into the garage.

Just as expected, it was a band. Now that you're here, you remembered your friend telling you about them a few days ago. But you weren't expecting them to be this good. The group was made up of three uni students. A tall one with wavy dark hair playing the guitar, and another dark haired guy, a little shorter, playing the bass. They both were singing. Along with the fella who caught your eye instantly. He had blond, wavy hair and played the drums wonderfully. Never missing a beat, and harmonized with the group beautifully.

About two songs in, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"(Y/n)! What are you doing here?" It was your friend Lorali, the one who told you about the band.

"Needed to get some fresh air after sitting at that desk for so long. Thought I'd see what was so special about this band you were telling me about" I told her.

"Well I'm glad you came! Wanna go get a drink with me? Bars inside."

Accepting the fact that it was a Friday night and you studied enough for the day, you gave into her offer.

"Sure thing!" Following Lorali to the door located behind the band, you figured you would steal another glance at the drummer, as you were about to past him. However, he seemed to have caught your glance just as they were finishing their song. You immediately looked away, and followed your friend through the door, as you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks.

"What are you blushing about," she asked you, noticing your obvious flushed complexion.

"Wh-what? Nothing. Just need a drink that's all."

"Oh please (y/n), what kinda twat do you think I am. Do you really think I didn't see you making heart eyes at the drummer a second ago?"

Damn it Lorali.

She could always see right through you.

"Oh shut up! Doesn't matter, it's obvious he's the womanizer of the group, what should it matter to me?" But before she could deny anything, I poured myself a shot of whisky and downed it as fast as I could. Feeling a wave of relief already, I gave her a look as if to say alright, go on.

"The night is still young, (y/n). Let's go back out there, they're almost done!

Following her back out to the garage, you noticed it had got darker outside, and string lights lit up the garage as students gathered around a fire pit on the driveway, smoking and dancing along to the music.

Lorali led you to the couch up front, and you took a seat right next to her, each with a beer in hand. Facing the band, they sang and rocked their hearts out to their closing song. You happened to really like it. Wether it was the subtle head bops, or the perfect rhythm he managed to keep, you couldn't keep your eyes off of the drummer. He played perfectly. The song then came to a faster, more rock n roll bit and the guitarist played a rif while blondie hit the drums harder and faster than before.

This time when he caught you staring at him, you didn't look away immediately right after. Same goes for him, giving you a wink and a cheeky smile. Doubting the possibility he could be looking at you, you turned your head around to see if the group of girls from earlier was behind you or something. Only to find them outside, and groups of guys behind you instead. When you turned around, he seemed to notice your disbelief, and subtly laughed to himself. You blushed and looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed that you thought he wasn't gesturing towards you.

Drinking from your cup, they finished the song and ended it with harmonizing their voices and it sounded like the most spectacular thing you have ever heard before.

doooiinnn allllllrrrrrriiiggghhhhhtttt

The guitarist then spoke into the mic, "Thanks for coming out everybody, we really appreciate it!"

You sighed to yourself, that the live music was over for the night. But just as a record started playing from the corner of the room, you stood up for your spot on the couch, next to your friend. In need for a quick smoke, you informed her you were going to stand outside for a bit and warm up by the fire.

Noticing people have either left or gone to get their second round of drinks, you stood next to the fire pit, struggling to warm up. Pulling a pack and a lighter from your coat pocket, you were slightly disappointed to see that you were all out.

"Having a bit of trouble over there?" You heard a deep voice ask you from behind, causing you to turn around.

Crap. It's him. "Oh I uh, I uh, I'm all out, that's all," you awkwardly chuckle and look down.

"No worries," the drummer then pulls out a pack and offers you a cigarette.

You take it as your fingers lightly brush over his. "Thanks," you say, with a small smile.

You both light your cigarettes and you allow yourself to really let it sink in before taking a long breath out.

"I'm a, I'm Roger by the way," the drummer offered is hand out for you to shake

"(Y/n)," you reply, shaking his hand in return.

"Wow, that's a nice name. How come I've never seen you around here before?" he asked.

You blush a little and turn to meet his eyes. Wow, you thought. It was the first time you saw his big blue eyes. Just as you were about to get lost in them, you remembered he asked you a question.

"Oh, I uh, I came with my friend. You guys were amazing by the way, should've come around sooner."

He chuckled and took a small step closer to me, "Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I feel like I've seen you around." his mention came off more as a question.

"Yeah, im a uni student. Second year actually, majoring in fashion design. What about you?" I asked him, bringing my cigarette back up to my lips.

"Dental student. Doesn't seem to be working out well. Hoping this band thing works out," he said, looking back at me.

"Ah I wouldn't worry about it, you guys were amazing," I reassured him with a smile, hoping I wasn't coming off too obsessive with all the compliments I was giving him.

But Roger loved how you would blush and gawk over the band. Although you never noticed him until this night, he has noticed you since the beginning of his second year at uni. He sat at the very back in a class you two shared with each other, but you never seemed to noticed he existed until today. Roger on the other hand, was the total opposite. He noticed you the first day, and couldn't get over how beautiful you were. The way you concentrated so hard in class to make sure you took all the right notes, and the way your tongue would poke out of your mouth when you were focused. Roger admired all of it. Everything about you. But, he never had the courage to talk to until tonight. It was almost as if he had been intimidated by your perfection, and it made him nervous, which is not in his nature. Being known as the womanizer and all.

"If I don't know any better, I'd say you have a little crush on the band," he brought up, trying to mess with you.

"Oh shut up!" you joked back, nudging his shoulder with yours, both of you lightly chuckling. It was only then when you realized how close you too actually were. Standing there, shoulder to shoulder.

You then realized your beer was empty when you went for another sip. Figuring you walked here, maybe it would be best to start heading back

"Well, i uh, I should get going I guess."

"Wait"

But just as you were about to walk away, Roger grabbed your hand to turn you around. Very quickly actually, resulting in your noses almost bumping each other as your faces grew closer all of a sudden. Neither of you said anything for a second, but just looked at each other. Both sets of eyes quickly looking down at each other's lips, then back at each other's eyes. Yet the awkward tension took over, making the moment suddenly uncomfortable.

"Let me get you another drink at least?" He offered.

You easily obliged with a simple, "okay," and a small smile.

He took your hand and led you through the garage past the bunch of people who were still there, and into the house to the kitchen.

While Roger went to the fridge to grab two beers, you hopped up and sat on the corner.

"So Rog, is this your house?" You asked curiously.

He walked over to stand in front you, and handed you the can.

"Yeah, I've been rooming with Brian for a couple of months now."

You don't know why, but you felt so at ease around him. A sudden wave of confidence washed over you, causing the next question to come out of your mouth without a care in the world.

"I assume that means you have your own room then?"

Roger knew what you were intending with that question. He raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face as he walked closer to you, standing in between your legs.

"I suppose it does," he replied, your faces merely a few inches away from each other.

Roger placed a hand on your thigh, taking you a bit by surprise. But you allowed it, and you couldn't help but feel more at ease because of it. The moment, it felt so right. But why? You barely knew him. You feel like you did, but you didn't.

"Hey (y/n)" Roger whispered, as our faces grew closer

"Yeah"

"I know you barely know me, but I need to be honest. Ever since I saw you the first day of uni, I thought you were absolutely stunning. I always sit at the back of class, and I can help but admire your perfection. It kills me, everyday when I see you."

This took you by surprise even more. That's why Roger looked familiar to you. But what he just confessed to you made your heart skip a beat, and cause butterflies to literally explode in your stomach. You were blushing uncontrollably and had a huge smile plastered on your face. Why? You didn't know. Even though you barely knew each other, everything felt as if it was meant to be happening.

"Roger, I-"

But before you could say anything, he leaned in and crashed his lips into yours. It was fast, but sweet and loving at first. You flung your arms around his neck, running your hand through his hair. He brought his other hand up to your cheek as the kiss became more heated. Both of you craved each other, need each other. Roger has been the missing thing in your life all along.

Roger then took his hands, slid them under your thighs, signaling for you to jump on him. Which you did, wrapping your legs around his torso as his hands made their way under your ass to hold you up. He then started kissing you down your neck, leaving love bites all over. The feeling completely melting your insides, you grabbed his face with both hands and connected your lips together yet again.

Before you knew it, Roger had already carried you upstairs. Your lips not letting go for even a single breath of air, the two of you pushed the door open, only for him to slam it shut with his foot, ready for night of his life.

——————————————————

#80s #classic rock #queen #rogah taylah #roger #roger taylor #brian #brianmay #freddie mercury #deacon #bohemian rhapsody #ben hardy #rami malek #gwilym lee #joe mazzello #fanfic #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x reader

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wonderlustlucas · 6 years

Text

dancing through our house - kim yugyeom

⇢ prompt Feet don’t dance like they did with you.—“ghost of you” by 5 seconds of summer ⇢ pairing yugyeom x female reader ⇢ word count 2.5k ⇢ genre some fluff, but mainly heavy angst ⇢ warnings main character death; descriptions of anxiety & depression ⇢ summary In which some things are impossible to forget. ⇢ a/n this be hella sad i think i cried the whole time writing this. listen to the song for optimum sadness. my friend read this earlier and told me to quote what she said sooo: BUT LIKE EVEN THOUGH IT HITS YOU AT THE CORE AND YOUR LIKE WOW THIS IS SO GOOD YOUR ALSO LIKE FUCK THIS AUTHOR CAUSE WOW IM CRYIN

“You’re too pretty for a shitty place like this,” you commented boldly; however, no trace of humor laced your tone and, casual as ever, you took a long gulp from your red plastic cup as Yugyeom leaned against the marble island, speechless because he was the one that spent hours planning for this moment. He was the one that had an insufferable crush on your pretty face from the moment he tumbled headfirst, literally, into your life. Days had rolled into weeks which rolled into months and he simply could never bottle up all his feelings and serve them as they were, “Today’s the day,” he told himself practically every morning, yet as soon as he marched into the lecture hall with the courage of an ex-One Direction fan slash current K-pop fan and found you so, so effortlessly beautiful amongst your circle of friends, his tail shot between his legs and, alas, “Tomorrow. Tomorrow’s the day.”

And so, when Yugyeom’s first ever university end of year party rolled around, BamBam, Jeongguk, and Mingyu thrust an absurd amount of shots down his esophagus and propelled him like a rocket to where you concocted some sort of drink, he was ready this time. He was going to grab the bull—no, not a bull, you’re too pretty to even be labeled as some sort of animal—by the horns and spill out every last ounce of his emotions until his lungs collapsed, whether you remembered him from the first day of freshman orientation nearly six months ago when he oh-so-gracefully smacked your iced coffee right out of your hands or not. He was here now, prepared to do whatever it took to sweep you off your feet, not vice versa.

“You didn’t give me a chance to get to the good part of this conversation,” Yugyeom grumbled, ruffling his hair with his hands, he saw—he saw your eyes follow the motion and his heart absolutely picked up to a detrimental rate. “Wait,” you smiled—or was that a smirk you were hiding?—and added an ungodly amount of rum to your cup, “I think this is where you’re finally going to tell me how you feel and I’d rather embarrass myself drunk than embarrass myself sober because, I’ll have you know, I nearly shit my pants every time I see you.”

Suddenly Yugyeom’s tongue was pulsing like a heart in his very dry mouth and he most definitely misheard you—right? “Is that a good shit, or a bad shit?”

You laughed, a sound so sickly sweet he fleetingly considered smashing his head through the wall until your answer blessed his ears, “Nah, it’s a good shit. I heard you were head over heels for me, or something like that, back in January and I thought you’d come talk to me but—ah, never mind. Needless to say, we were both dumb for not just speaking up.”

“Does this mean if I ask you on a date you won’t reject me?” Yugyeom let out a shaky laugh, mesmerized with the way your skin glowed under the kitchen’s dimmed lights, he fought the urge not to cup your face and instead opted for stepping closer, breathing in your rosy perfume and nearly losing his shit, when you responded with a bashful smile.

“Yeah,” you sighed, much more breathless than you’d like to be, “you don’t have to worry about that anytime soon. Unless, of course, you’re a total dickhead or a terrible kisser,” you snorted, a noise usually found unpleasant but Yugyeom wanted nothing more than to prove to the world no fresh-out-of-the-pussy puppy was cuter than you; however, his prize-winning grin faltered when you went on, “which by the way, I think we should totally test that out. You know, in case you are a terrible kisser and I have time to back out of this dating proposition.”

Yugyeom didn’t need to be asked twice and yanked you forward so quickly you yelped, but, the gentleman he is, steadied you against his chest and dipped down to kiss you without a single drop of hesitation. His lips found yours effortlessly, heart singing with joy when you gasped against his mouth but melted into his arms nevertheless, his tongue ran along the seam of your lips, and he could just barely taste a hint of Doritos cheese as—

The shrieking of his cellphone like an angry rattlesnake renders Yugyeom’s peaceful dreaming of the beginning of his relationship with you nearly 3 years ago cut short-lived, he lets out an aggravated groan, slapping around the mattress aimlessly for the device before pressing down on the off button to shut the annoying blaring off.

Brain still clouded with sleep, Yugyeom flips onto his stomach and sighs blissfully, stretching his arm out to the pillows on the left side in order to determine whether you’ve already left for work or not.

Upon feeling the icy touch of the sheets Yugyeom rolls over to your side, relishing in mornings like these: he’s home, you’ll be home soon, he can spend the rest of the day—the whole day!—with you. Cheek pressed against your pillows, Yugyeom inhales a hefty breath of your scent, filling his lungs and brain with the jasmine and vanilla perfume from your shampoo. He smiles into the coolness of the downy pillow, contemplating whether he wants to send you good morning meme until, like a shit ton of bricks dumped on his head, the weight of the world falling on his shoulders, the realization hits Yugyeom slowly, cruelly.

He realizes, upon impact, that whether he texted your phone or not—you won’t answer. He could text you a million times a minute, call you even, and you wouldn’t answer because you’re not here. Eyelids fluttering open within milliseconds, Yugyeom jerks away from your side of the bed with a choke, clawing the sheets as he flies from the bed, nearly crumbling to the floor but catching a grip against the windowsill. You’re gone.

Breathless and with your smell multiplying like cells in his senses, Yugyeom reaches for the closest thing—one of his pillows hanging lopsided off the mattress—and pelts it to the wall across from where he stands, heaving, watching with disappointment as it thumps against the brick lightly and, consequently, not unleashing any of his pent-up emotions. Your beautiful heart isn’t even beating.

But he knows if you were here, you’d tell him he would be just fine.

The red and black and white grain muddling Yugyeom’s vision begins to clear as he chokes on air, the briny taste of tears enters his mouth when he licks his chapped lips and when did he start crying?

Six feet underground. Like the past thirty-three days, Yugyeom blinks away the rest of his tears and waits until they’re dribbling down his cheeks to wipe them, he lets out a shaky breath and proceeds with his day, plucking up the pillow and setting it back on the bed like you would’ve asked him to.

When he leaves the bedroom and makes way for the kitchen, he winces at the eerie silence of the apartment aside from the incessant percussion of birds singing outside the living room window and occasional creaking of the attendants an apartment above and decides some Chris Brown could do. Swinging open the refrigerator door, Yugyeom sighs at what’s inside—or, better, there lack of—and decides, he really needs to go grocery shopping; a half-empty gallon of milk, three eggs left in the carton, what’s left of the sliced bread, and four bottles of soju that has turned into medicine to cure his headaches and panic attacks rather than a way to enjoy nights like he used to with you.

Despite the persistent growling from his gut, Yugyeom only reaches for the milk, sets it down on the counter and hums—he hums!—something so insignificant but something he hasn’t done since your accident as he reaches for the dishwasher and pulls the door open. His humming stops when he catches sight of your coffee cup inside, mauve lipstick stain faded even more from the day before and he knows if he wants it to stay he has to stop using it every morning, but a part of him cannot help but reach for it because it’s just another part of you.

His stomach churns and keeps churning and suddenly Yugyeom’s head is heavy and saliva is flooding his mouth and he’s burning hotter than the star that keeps our planet alive and he scrambles to the stainless steel and heaves into the sink, expelling everything from his belly, which, ultimately, is nothing. Yugyeom dry-heaves, once, twice, before inhaling a shuddering breath, drool dripping from his lips and down his chin until he hastily wipes it away. With his appetite stolen like a rug whipped away from beneath his feet, Yugyeom slams the dishwasher door closed, the contents angrily rattling inside, and leaves the milk on the counter for he could not give less of a shit.

A cold shower fixes everything, love, you would say, the cold-shower freak yourself, he nods to himself, a cold shower will do, Yugyeom makes way for the bathroom and strips from his clothes that seem to stick to his sweaty body, twists the shower knob just slightly so the stream is at its coldest possible temperature before whipping aside the curtain and stepping inside. Yugyeom shudders at the contact of water against his skin, goosebumps spreading across his body head to toe and he presses himself against the wall, shivers wracking his body, squeezing his eyes tighttighttightuntil it all goes away, until he’s numb, until your standing beside him again.

His body, at some point, numbs to the frigid water and he finally backs away from the wall to stand underneath the shower head, running his hands through his raven hair, rubbing the crust away from his eyes, washing up quickly and using your body cleanser instead of his own. When Yugyeom’s finished, he dries off quickly and wraps the towel low on his hip, but frowns when he enters your bedroom because you’re not there to tell him how hot he is and how lucky you are, in which he would tackle your cute ass and smother your face in kisses, which, eventually, lead to his towel on the floor and your clothes dropped next to it.

A dinging notification from Yugyeom’s phone still buried beneath his pillows snaps him back to reality and he wanders over, scrolling through his notifications from the newest to the oldest.

DabDab🤮– 1:42 PM Hey bud. Hope ur getting there. Call me

Missed Call from DabDab🤮 – 11:23 AM

Missed Call from 🅱️eon 🅱️eongguk – 10:14 AM

Yugyeom sighs—he knows he should be grateful his friends care, but he simply does not care enough for himself to constantly answer their nagging questions. He contemplates ignoring it, he could shove the device back under the pillows and answer it tomorrow like he usually does, but he’s gone three days without talking to one of them and so, guilt makes up his mind and he’s tapping away until BamBam’s voice disturbs the deadened ambiance Yugyeom’s created in your bedroom.

“Hey! You called,” BamBam’s voice fills the hair, Yugyeom can almost see the smile, and falls back onto the mattress.

“I called.”

“I know you don’t want to talk, which I understand. But I want you to do me a favor,” BamBam goes on, Yugyeom pinches the bridge of his nose, biting back a sharp retort, “I want you to use that damn well-spent studio the two of you have in your apartment and freestyle. Just an hour. I know you were coming up for a choreo to something, I don’t know, but go do that.”

Yugyeom pauses, considering the idea, but shuts it down quickly because he does not want to do anything but lie here, “I can’t. Not today.”

“Yugyeom, you’ve said that to everything. I know you’re not doing anything, and I don’t blame you. But if there’s one thing you still have and love, that’s dancing. And I’m not arguing with you over this. Please, just do this. For me.”

Yugyeom hears the crack in his best friend’s voice, he can feel the pain through the phone, another ache to add to his poor heart, “I can’t go in that room without her, Bam.”

“You’ve had dance before you had ___, Yugyeom. You shared dance with her, you grew with her from it. You can do it without her. Do it for her, she’d be proud. Okay?”

Yugyeom swallows the lump in his throat, the tears threatening to spill from his burning eyes and his bottom lip trembles, “Okay.”

“Okay. Don’t say okay again, I’m not Augustus Waters,” BamBam chuckles, sniffling on his line and Yugyeom knows he’s crying too but manages to crack a smile, “okay. Fuck! I said it again. Alright, go dance your heart out for a little and take care of yourself. Also, don’t be a stranger. Please.”

Yugyeom nods, digging his knuckle into his eye to stop the tears, he croaks out, “Okay. Thanks, man. See you.”

He hangs up a moment later to let the tears spill freely.

An hour later, Yugyeom stands in the doorway of his—your—dance room, glaring questioningly at the mirrored walls around him, his pitiful reflection staring back at him. Do it for you, he tells himself, stepping inside and clicking the door shut behind him.

Yugyeom stretches his tense muscles, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror in fear he’ll back out or conjure up a mental image of your bruised and bloodied body in the hospital, he mustn’t think about it or else it’ll only get worse. He scrolls through his downloaded songs, zoned in on something other than you for the first time in weeks, going back and forth between a few options before caving in to another Chris Brown bop he cannot get away from.

Just like before, Yugyeom tells himself after his first slip-up, swinging his leg too far to the side and so he begins again, carrying himself with utmost grace and sharp, fluid movements but he shakes his head a minute and a half in—not good enough. “One, two, three, four,” he whispers to himself, starting from the top for the seventh time, he glides and twists and pulls and—

And he blanks hardly thirty seconds in, pausing, staring into his reflection, shuddering for oxygen, long hair tousled from the quick movements, limbs screaming at the sudden usage, and he can’t wrap his mind around what follows next.

“I can’t do it,” Yugyeom says to no one in particular, balling his fists at his sides before collapsing onto the smooth laminate, he looks to the corner of the room and if he squints hard enough, he can imagine you standing there, telling him he can do it, but his tears blur his vision so he buries his head between his knees, “I can’t do it without you.”

And Yugyeom cries for the thirty-third day, for his feet don’t dance like they used to with you.

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majesticmarais · 6 years

Text

Pinky Promise | J.A

Requested? yes by anon!

Summary: Y/n and Jack get in an argument after Jack continues to distance himself

Warnings? Swearing but what else is new, CHEESY AF

Word Count: 1.7k

Tags: @averysgarl @adorkableavery @seavveywdw @lovableherron @averys-headass @jackaverybabe @jackaverysboo @samithepixie @im-on-something-different

A/N: It’s been a lil while since I’ve written an imagine so I hope you enjoy!! I was on spring break so I was busy and I’m spending some time with my boyfriend before he heads back to LA so I’ll probably have more time to write soon, my motivation isn’t all there, anyway I’m rambling ENJOY THE IMAGINE! Also if you guys want more sad imagines since I know y’all liked the Jonah one leave me requests!!

I stood outside of Jack and I’s favorite lunch spot. The place where we always met up when we needed to talk about things, catch up after tour, or just spend a few hours when we wanted to be somewhere other than one of our houses.

I stood beside the bench, not bothering to sit on it since Jack was supposed to get here any second, no need to get too comfortable.

The warm California sun felt comforting as it shone against my skin, the light breeze rippling through my shirt as I watched people passing me along the sidewalk, each person so different from the other.

I pulled out my phone and checked the time, Jack was usually never late. Maybe he’s just in traffic.

After having stood outside for ten minutes, I decided to make my way into the restaurant, sitting down at the table Jack and I almost always sat at. As I tapped my fingers on the soft dark wood of the table, I stared out the window, expecting to see Jack show up, the bright sun reflecting off of his messy curls.

I sat there for almost another 30 minutes before ordering on my own, expecting that Jack had forgotten, and that he wasn’t showing up.

Jack had been pretty much blowing me off for the past few months. Now that he had better things to do and better people to spend time with, I always seemed to be a second option to him, or even a last option at that. It made me feel like he didn’t care any more, and I was losing the boy who I’ve loved for years, and who was my best friend and my rock.

I tried calling him and was sent straight to voicemail, the loud beeping sound making me cringe slightly as I furrowed my eyebrows, trying not to sound too annoyed as I spoke.

“Hey, Jack, it’s Y/N. Remember me? Yeah I guess you forgot we had lunch plans today so yeah I’m gonna eat and go home, talk to you later,” I muttered, placing my phone down slightly more aggressively than usual as I sat in silence, waiting for my food as the clinking of other people’s utensils against their plates mixed with their conversations filled the room.

My food was placed in front of me and I thanked the waiter politely, looking across at the empty chair that sat in front of me, one that was usually filled by the loud and happy presence of my best friend.

“Oh Jack,” I sighed to myself, picking up my fork, “why do you keep disappointing me?”

I sat on the couch in my apartment, watching reruns of my favorite show in hopes to distract myself from Jack forgetting about me once again. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. I knew that he could do almost everything and I would go running to him with open arms the second he asked.

The coffee mug I was holding warmed up my hands as I watched TV, a tingling sensation appearing in my usually cold hands, making me shiver slightly at the feeling.

Breaking the comforting tranquility of my small, empty apartment was the loud sound of the doorbell, making me jump slightly at the unexpected sound. I set my mug on the table and stood up, sliding my feet along the wooden floors as I made it to the front, opening the door to reveal none other than my best friend, Jack.

I stood there silently, staring at him as his eyebrows raised in the middle, his lips parted as if he were about to say something, but we stood there in silence, the tension between us so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I totally got distracted and didn’t realize what time it was and I just, I’m so sorry,” he rambled, clasping his hands together in front of him.

“Whatever, Jack, I don’t want to hear it,” I muttered, trying to shut the door on him but was interjected by his arm, making me let out a sharp exhale.

“Seriously, Y/n, I won’t do it again, can we just reschedule for tomorrow and be cool?” he asked.

“No, Jack, we’re not ‘cool’,” I snapped, “you’ve been blowing me off for months. Months. I seriously don’t think you give a fraction of a fuck about me anymore so if you want to just stop being friends completely just do it. It would hurt a lot less than me constantly trying to find a way to keep this friendship alive. I thought I mattered,” I ranted angrily, my hand still on the door frame, ready to shut it at any second.

“You do matter!” Jack retorted. “Obviously I care about you, Y/n, you’re my best friend. I just lost track of time!”

“Well clearly I don’t matter enough for you to actually commit to plans to see me. You’re not doing a very good job of being a best friend,” I snapped back, feeling my heart speed up as I stared at his face that I could always read perfectly.

“I’m busy, Y/n! Why does this matter to you so much anyway? You’re still my best friend I just can’t see you as much anymore and I’m sorry that living me dream is getting in the way!” he said, a tone of anger filling his voice now as he took a step closer to me, making me inch the door closed.

“It matters because I don’t want to fucking lose you, Jack!” I said back, my voice raising.

“You’re not losing me! You’re overreacting!” he replied.

“Am I?” I asked sarcastically, “Jack I would do anything for you. I bend over backwards for you constantly and break all my fingers for you and you barely lift one up for me. I have been in love with you for years and lately I’m lucky if I even get a text from you now that you’re off with better people!” I yelled, regretting my words instantly once they left my mouth, noticing that Jack’s eyes had widened.

“You what?” he asked, probably wondering if he just misheard me.

“I-I-nothing, just go Jack I don’t want to do this anymore,” I sighed.

“I’m not leaving,” he answered, his eyes piercing into mine.

“Fine then I will,” I scoffed, pulling my shoes on that were right next to me as I pushed past him, running out onto the street, not looking behind me, wondering if I really fucked up this time.

My legs dangled along the edge of the cliff that Jack and I used to always go to. I stared down as the waves splashed against the shore, the water making the rocks down below seem shiny as the sun reflected off them.

I wiped a tear from my eye and took a deep breath, taking in the smell of the trees and the water around me.

This was mine and Jack’s spot. It was like our sanctuary. We stumbled upon it one day a few years back when we were just adventuring together, and we instantly fell in love with it and began meeting there all the time. If we needed to talk, cry, or just escape from the bustling world a bit, this was where we went. It was just Jack and I here, now I wasn’t sure if there was a Jack and I at all.

Breaking me from my thoughts was the crunching of footsteps on branches behind me, causing me to jump and flip around, seeing Jack walking towards me, his arms up as he pushed tree branches out of the way of his face.

I turned back to face the water, looking down at it again, knowing he was getting closer. I felt his presence beside me as he sat down, his feet dangling along the edge right next to mine.

“How did you know I was here?” I asked, playing with my fingers as I averted my gaze from Jack.

“This is our spot. I had a feeling you would be here. Plus, I wasn’t that far behind,” he shrugged.

“I’m really sorry again, Y/n, I know I’ve been a really fucking shitty friend to you lately, but I really want to make it up to you. Please let me. I shouldn’t have told you that you were overreacting and I should have listened instead of being a defensive douche. I’m sorry,” he apologized profusely.

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t want to fight I just felt like I was losing you. I meant what I said by the way, about you know, so if that ruins things then I guess that’s fine,” I shrugged.

I continued staring down at the rushing waves, feeling Jack’s hand on mine, interlacing his fingers. I finally got the courage to look up at him, squeezing his hand gently.

“I’m in love with you too,” he said.

“Liar,” I mumbled.

“I’m not lying, Y/n, even though I know I haven’t done a good job at showing it,” he answered.

“You’re being so cliché,” I chuckled slightly, looking back at the water.

“Remember when we used to come here all the time?” he asked once he noticed my mesmerized gaze.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “It’s one of my favorite places in the world.”

“Anywhere next to you is my favorite place in the world,” he answered.

“So cheesy,” I chuckled again.

“I try my best,” he shrugged.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been so shit lately, Y/n. It’s definitely not because I don’t care. Life is so hectic and some days I don’t even know how to deal with it. I won’t disappoint you again,” he said.

“Promise?” you asked.

“I promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

He chuckled as he stuck his pinky out, linking it with yours as you both touched the pads of your thumbs together like you always did since you’ve known each other.

“Pinky promise,” he whispered, “forever.”

#jack avery #jack avery x reader #jack avery imagine #why don't we #wdw #whydontwe #why don't we imagine #wdw imagine #jonah marais #zach herron #daniel seavey #corbyn besson #limelight

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angelsfuk · 3 years

Text

journal 10/4/17

`I dont see weed as the problem i see my self as the problem. I stand in the way of mysefl on a daily basis. No one else is to blame but my insufferable self. I like to think and appear like I work hard and have the mindset that i dont know why I dont produce a higher quality of life for myself.

I look at people who can see the bad in their life and decide to change and I am in awe. They feel a determination that i do not posses that allows them the ability to try

They decide to

They

Tried

Speaking of a window, i feel like a cat, in an attic with the light on 24/7 and the only thing in the room is a window. And from that window I

See a happy couple, arms draped around each other like vines of a withering oak tree. A image i felt a twinging in the pit of me…

Something unusual

I felt a null looming

_Suffering

<D--_BB+++++++<3

…………...

I have recently been caught in a trap

Of seeing my exlove with his new girl friend

I pray you see my _sufffering

I have seen yours of all its shades of black

I struggle to remember my oldest memories

Floating in vast area of endless space

I need to stop thinking of myself as set out of the crowd cause more likely than not i am in the crowd and put myself there more by thinking i'm not Uh maybe I just want to feel happy And i think for the most part i can But days like today make me feel, overwhelmed Like a sink overflowing with dirty dishes I don't want to clean them i want to stare at them for two weeks briefly shrugging at them till i finally i'm forced to face my mess Drop off the w2 Find out why the 166 dollars didnt go thru to the gas company Should i send 166 dollars to the gas company now I dont really want to Should i still buy mushshrooms from izzy How do you become financially stable How do you become stable How do you overcome depression How do you stop social anxiety How do you look people you use to know in the eye again How do you maintain relationships How do you not become bitter How do you disappear completely How do you see your best friends baby How do you not become like everyone else How do you fall in love again How do you function again

Why do people get mad at me when i don't hang out with them i can't help it I can't help that the thought of hanging out with someone makes my stomach flip that most of my conversations are excuses i enjoy my own company more than others (this does not include jackson or my dad) im always tired always worn out Need a therapist agian Need to get better again without anyone noticing Whats that radiohead song how to disappear completely Today is just a bad day of course tomorrow i will feel diffrent then the cycle repeats agian I want to go driving in the country woth someone with me i dont know who but we font talk just drive and take photographs of pretty medows maybe that person is lauren, possible yes how to be more like her I tjink im gonna pay thw gas company again

Or maybe not again maybe payment didint go through last time just going to do it Ugh See you later ....

Again my bank account is at zero i wish i knew how to financial make myself stable but I don't know how to do that

I hate the bank

It has become my new doctor’s office

Yes i know i overdrew yes i know my bank account is negative again im working on it

Yes i know you can't draw from a savings account more than 6 times a month i know these things

But i can't stop them

My life is a hurricane of actions and at the same time a frozen ocean of inability or motivation lacking

I will figure it out

I will i always do

I won't tell dad

to me that is failure to tell him i can't give him the money because I failed to keep it saved that is not his problem he has enough to worry about without his 19 year old daughter who cant save her money right

Jackson when i ask him to borrow which i hate doing doesnt understand that i cant tell him casue that would be accepting my failure and taking the disappointment from not only him but from myself as well

Maybe i just tell myself these things to make myself feel better i don't know

It works i guess

Some times i see people who are really passionate about something and it makes me wish i was that way again most of the time i can go though the day just convincing myself that i am passionate i am happy and for the most part I think I am but seeing someone who is just so hardworking and passionate about what they love makes me realize I am not.

It seem to be one financial blundering after another , The reason I need money today is last night my dad told me in a slight drunken emotional whirlwind of his own that he needed me to get the five hundred from my savings account in one hundred dollar bills which would require me to go in and ask for it which normally would be fine but my bank account is at negative and that would just make the situation even worse because they would most likely take from the savings account which would make it a total of three hundred and twenty six dollars approximately. Clearly that is not the five hundred i need to give to him, but another perplexity i face is whether he even remembers telling me that or not he was inebriated which makes me wonder if he even meant to tell me that but im too scared to ask i am too scared to just act like he didnt say it then he be mad i didn't get it which then i am in even deeper because

Sometime i like to overreact

Its not overreacting its called over thinking I guess

Whatever

Ive been talking to someone agian

I know that happens a lot but i feel good about this I have been taking my time and keeping my boundaries i think

His name is quinn or he calls himself romeo as well

We talk

I enjoy it

I think he does too

There is one strange thing about our history i should say

We have slept together already

He took me to his apartment one night after we talked and hit it off really well

At joey's house

It was comfortable we talked for awhile in his bed together and fell asleep

In the morning we fucked

The only thing that made it mad was the fact that of course aubrey played into it somehow

But he was different in the way that I got him to like me

He chose me over her

That is almost an improbability in my history with aubrey.

So i am seeing him again for the first time since that moring

At our friend Max’s birthday party on friday.

#journal

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kavinskysbabe · 6 years

Text

wow yikes

Hey so I’m bored waiting for dinner to be finished so I’m answering these questions since my followers won’t ask them anyway

It’s gonna be a long post and I apologize for that

let’s get into it wow im such a professional youtuber

1. Do you want a girlfriend or boyfriend?

100% am totally lovesick and in need of a boyfriend you have no idea

2. When did your last hug take place?

Romantically, about two months ago; platonically/family, ten minutes ago

3. Are you a jealous person?

Abso-fucking-lutely. I’ve been jealous all weekend for plenty of reasons.

4. Are you tired right now?

Just of bullshit drama.

5. Do you chew on your straws?

Sometimes, if I need something to do to keep myself sane and that’s all I have.

6. Have you ever been called a tease?

Lol no, I’ve been called a whore though

7. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Who do you think I am? Some kinda party animal? Of course not.

8. Do you cry easily?

YES

9. What should you be doing right now?

Socializing, probably.

10. Are you a heavy sleeper?

Not really. I’m kind of in the middle, leaning more on the light side.

11. Do you think you’d last in a relationship for 6 months?

Yeah, just need to find the right person who actually talks to me.

12. Are you mad at someone right now?

Yeah. He keeps leaving me on read and I wanna punch him in the lips with my own lips cause I’m a fucking lady.

13. Do you believe in love?

Y E S

14. What makes you laugh no matter what?

Reese’s Pieces Feces

15. Who was the last person you talked to?

My grandmother.

16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

All the damn time

17. Will you get married?

Yeah. I don’t think I’d be able to handle being alone.

18. When was the last time you smiled?

...When I typed out Reese’s Pieces Feces...

19. Does anyone like you?

Platonically, of course, I mean have you met me hahahahaha; romantically, people tell me that they can see that my crush likes me back so like idk

20. Do you secretly like someone?

Well yeah but the two guys I like that really affect my life both know now so

21. Who was the first person you talked to today?

My little brother

22. Who do you feel the most comfortable talking to about anything?

My ultimate best friend. She’s awesome.

23. What are you NOT looking forward to?

My across the street neighbor going off to college in a couple years.

24. What ARE you looking forward to?

Next year’s homecoming. Idk why.

25. Has someone of the opposite sex told you they loved you and meant it?

I can only recall on an instance of this occasion that isn’t family related and I doubt he really meant it.

26. Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

I’d probably be like “Oh I hope he talked to her.”

27. Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

No, and that’s really because I have no choice on where I live right now.

28. Are you a forgiving person?

I’d like to say so.

29. How many TRUE friends do you have?

12.

30. Do you fall for people easily?

Y! E! S!

31. Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

Yes. And it just so happens to be my best friend’s ex so that’s kind of crazy.

32. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

The dinner I just ate wtf lol

33. Who was the last person you drove with?

My mom

34. How late did you stay up last night and why?

11:00 ish because I felt like it I guess

35. If you could move somewhere else, would you?

I probably would move into a different house in my town, mostly because I like my town for the most part.

36. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Myself - my hand to be specific

37. Can you live a day without TV?

I do all the time

38. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

Last Thursday.

39. Three names you go by…

Emily (my real name lolol), Em, and Emilia (and so many more)

40. Are you currently in a relationship?

No. My most recent relationship ended a few weeks ago.

41. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

She’s All That

42. Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

100% baby!

43. What’s your current problem?

My crush is dating someone who’s a snake ugh

44. Have you ever had your heart broken?

Tons of times. It sucks.

45. Your thoughts on long distance relationships?

The distance is got to be hard, but if you both try hard enough, it could work.

46. How many kids do you want to have?

Either 2 or 4. Leaning more towards 4 though. I just don’t want to have a middle child.

47. Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

If I have to do it in person myself, yes. But if it’s over text or I can get someone else to do it, it’s a slice of cake.

Wow okay done

now for no one to read it lolol

#em speaks up #long post #sorry!

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asplashofvodka · 7 years

Text

B.A.P. Party Baby NYC 2017 Fan Account

So it’s like 80 years late buuuuutttttttt I figured I might as well write down this fan account to continue with the tradition. I’m going to put concert, hi touch, and photo together into one. Gifs and photos included, pray for your internet.

Alright, so I came into the city late the night before the concert and met my 2 friends for a relaxing night. Sadly I had to work that day so I missed some of the earlier fun. We stayed near Grand Central for a change this year. We hung out in the lounge of the hotel for a while and just joked around most of the night, a much needed precursor from what was gonna be the day from hell.

So while we enjoyed our night for bit we actually had two of our friends lining up before us that we were planning to join a little after midnight. When we were just about to leave she actually called us and told us that security had made them all leave because it was too cold and they didn’t want anyone getting hurt or anything. It was nice because it was FREEZING that night, and if you’ve never been to Terminal 5 it’s right near an underpass and next to the water, not the best combo for camping out.

SOOOOOO onto show day!!!!

We lined up around 6 a.m. … we gave our friends a break since they stayed out. Steph, Megan and myself were nice enough to bring hot packs for majority of the line cause everyone looked like a popsicle. After the line was split up we actually got lucky enough to be interviewed for the Fomo Daily video, thank god a lot of the awkward stuff got cut out. <_< 12+hours in line wasn’t so bad for the simple fact all of our friends were in line with us.

So fast forward to concert time.

Our view.

Real life right here. I’ve never been this close for a concert of a group I hardcore stan. So although we were in the corner of the stage we had… an eventful, let’s say, evening.

I have to give props to the DJ B.Shoo cause he just had to go and pull out songs we weren’t expecting. I honestly can’t even remember what the song was but all of the people in my section were LIT. There was actually a staff… possibly manager standing there and he started to record the crowd. Where that video went, the world may never know. So he leaves after he records and then another Korean staff member shows up and stays by the curtain we’re in front of. Normal enough… or so we thought.

The DJ’s set ends and the intro video starts playing. Cue all the craziness and excitement. While everyone is going insane over the video, my friend Megan and I both notice people appearing one by one behind this curtain and we start to lose our shit. Honestly, it was like, “Oh, I think I see someone behind there… oh look two more… SHIT THERE’S 5 OF THEM…6 NOW!” All while this staff member is laughing at us.

First song was the Hurricane Remix. I’m not a huge EDM/House person so I can go along and tolerate it. Lol

Next was BADMAN. BITCH YES. JUST YESSSSS. This remix is still hands down my favorite. I was hoping they were all gonna hit the choreography flawlessly like last time but alas Himchan. First he was too early and then completely forgot what the hell he was doing and actually slipped off stage while laughing at himself. LMFAO Jongup and Zelo still killed that choreo IDGAF!

After that was No Mercy and BANGX2. I honestly couldn’t even tell you what happened during this cause I was too hype. The only thing I remember was the long ass staring contest Daehyun and I had for NO DAMN REASON. NONE WHATS SO EVER and none of my friends noticed it, but it is in photo.

I’VE BEEN WAITING MONTHS TO HEAR FINALLY HEAR THAT’S MY JAM AND DO WHAT I FEEL LIVE. I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED AT ALL. I FUCKING LOVE THESE SONGS. I was ready for it, my friends were ready for it but the staff member was surprised as hell at our enthusiasm. He was thoroughly amused by us.

Dancing in the Rain is always a cute song, you can’t hate it.

The dress code pick happened next. That was an interesting 5 minutes. So, Himchan is my bias, not secrets there. I was dressed for a Himchan pick is all I’m gonna say. My friends thought it would be hilarious to SCREAM AND SHOUT for him to pick me… from not only next to me but also in other spots down the front where others were standing. -_- Guys,pls. At one point they screaming so loud and pointing at me that not only was the staff member DYING AT MY SUFFERING but Youngjae and Daehyun started to look over to our area and I had to duck and hide behind people. Let’s not ever… nah no. It was a cute little segment though, I totally would’ve spilled my drink on Himchan too if I would’ve been that close too. Them feels are seriousssss.

NEXT WERE THE SOLOS AND BITCHHHHHHHHHHH…. WHEW LAWD.

I believe it was Jongup, Zelo, Youngja in terms of order but my feels were attacked so I can’t be sure.

JONGUP. MOON. FUCKING. JONGUP. HE DID NOT COME TO PLAY WITH THE HATERS, BAND WAGONERS, AND DENIERS OF FEELS. TRY MY LUCK THERE’S NOTHING I CAN SAY ABOUT THIS THAT DOESNT INCLUDE AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF SWEARING. Just know you guys got the tame and PG shit for TV promotions. FUCK IT UP, MOON JONGUP FOR LIFE.

Zelo decided that the year 2017 he would return to his sweet and innocent appearance after fucking the floor last year. Thanks, bro. Appreciate it. The song is actually really cute though and I need the recorded version, get on that TS.

YOUNGJAE.

YOO.

YOUNGJAE.

I have this deep deeeeppppppp LOVE HATE with Youngjae (mainly love but still) he didn’t have to come for life this way. I didn’t need it, didn’t want it, I just wanted to live peacefully that day. His solo…. I literally found the corner of the banister, rested against it, covered my mouth in amazement and didn’t move for the duration of his solo. He didn’t have to remind me why he’s bias 1.5 like that. Jesus. Also I need that studio version too.

Fermata, I Guess I Need U, and Body and Soul… Im not even gonna try and explain the level of I CANNOT reached.

Skydive, Young Wild and Free and Wake Me Up in a row… OT6 FOR LIFE. FUCK ME UP. They killed it and us.

Now for Wake Me Up apparently we did a little much. As if we didn’t go hard enough for the other two songs, us continuously doing the choreography got us recorded during Wake Me Up… by the staff… who also turned out to be one of their managers. At first he tried to sneakily record us but I caught him and laughed and he stopped. Then he did it again and didn’t care that we saw him. Which he then scurried to the backstage area as soon as that song was over. Yeah….

So after that Zelo came back out and take us the hormone increasing dance (2014 concert goers should remember that one). No one knew what the fuck they were doing it was hilarious.Check on starts playing and all of sudden my friends and I start to notice that BAP is gradually looking more and more to our corner, which for the most part went kinda unnoticed for the other half of the show. Now I’m not gonna say they saw it, but I can say for a fact that manager posted it on his instagram that same night. (which also took me a whole week to find ) But the next bunch of songs were the fun ones Spy, Feel So Good, Be Happy and Carnival.

They did their usual goodbye talk before performing B.A.B.Y *thug tear* That was supposed to be the end, but it wouldn’t be a BAP concert without an encore. They did BANGX2 again.

Now it’s time for the Hi-Touch and photo op shenanigans.

They had everyone with Hi-touch go first, they turned it into a whole damn exercise circuit. Just what everyone wanted to do, climb 3 floors, come down and go back up. But anyway… So the panic was real guys. So the order I can remember was Youngjae, Zelo, Daehyun, Jongup, Yongguk and Himchan. Literally my death in the beginning and end.

So before we get to go up to the guys the staff is doing their annoying “phones away,” “don’t give them presents,” “hurry up” speeches. I roll my eyes and continue walking to the guys.

Youngjae is first. Lord jesus I wasn’t mentally prepared, but my makeup was still in tact. *bless you Laura Mercier powder* He is the only dude I know that is ALWAYS ready before the damn fan that’s meeting him. He was already eyeing me before I got up to him. His usual smirk followed by a cute smile after I hi fived him.

I was actually proud of myself this hi touch cause I was able to look at and actually hi five everyone this time while still mentally dying.

Next was Zelo… he’s tall as shit… why? Anyway he smiled and I high fived him and went on to the next one.

JUNG. DAEHYUN. What’s your deal, bro?! So I get to Dae, I was prepared this year to feel close as fuck to him as always. Apparently he was not and made it obvious… VERY OBVIOUS. So I get to him and look him dead in his eyes and this boy legit goes O_O and looked shocked as al holy hell. I actually tilted my head a little and giggled at him and he kinda recollected for a second, but I felt victorious for once.

Megan 1- BAP - 3 Years

Anyway… onto Rude Boy Jongup. So he was right after Dae and ISTG I don’t know what was going on that night but he too felt the need to look at me with a squint but from under his fringe so I was confused.

Next was Gukkie! He’s so cute and friendly at hi touches. He looked so good though, thank goodness I’m not a Guk stan. That’s like instant death.

So last but not least, Kim Himchan.

One question, just one. WHATTHEACTUALFUCKHIMCHANWHYTHEFUCK?!

We’re going to take a little mental journey to understand this. So Himchan is last but he’s not behind the table like everyone else. He’s actually at the outside corner, so if you’re walking towards him you can see him straight on not an angle.

Ok so as I’m done hi fiving Yongguk, I turn so I can face Himchan, normal course of action right now. Would’ve been a quick go through had when I turned his hand be ready for a hi five and he would’ve been looking at my face.

Till this day this part gets me all flustered and gets my nerves going. *deep breathing*

So I turn slightly to see Himchan checking me out in the most shameless way. This man is a greaseball and I KNOW THIS. BUT NOTHING. NOTHINGGGG COULD’VE PREPARED ME. So he’s checking me out, at least from hip/thigh area and slowly pans up to my face and then proceeds to bite his lips and smirk at me and then put his hand up for a hi five.

We’re gonna have seat for a minute cause LORD HAVE MERCY IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME AT THAT MOMENT TO CONTAIN EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING.

For reference Himchan’s face was basically this Xuimin gif.

Like… how does one act normal in this situation. Well if you’re me, you try to give off the most controlled shocked face and act dead inside so you don’t get arrested.

For reference

Me:

So I high five him and proceed to high tail it the entire fuck outta there as quickly as possible. I made it to the hallway where I then had my breakdown, still couldn’t speak and explain anything then though.

If you had photo op they made you go allll the way back up stairs and pick your groups. Two of my friends are Zelo bias so they weren’t even gonna attempt to take a pic with each other. lmfao So we found this other group of girls and I deadass went and asked any of them if they were Himchan bias and luckily no one was. Then this staff comes over and is like “Who wants to be line leader?” I was like fuck it i’ll do it. I get to be the first person to pick a spot duh! So I tell my friends to line up behind me so they can get to their biases before the other girls and they do. So we get downstairs and we’re dying all over again cause now we’re the first people they see in the line and as soon as the group thats with them leaves, Youngjae and some of them look over at us. Great,

I look Youngjae in face again, smile and casually walked and stood in between him and Himchan. My other friends got lucky and all got to stand with their bias too. *YAAASSSS* Now, I had made it a mental note to stand a little bit away from them cause I have a butt and didn’t want to bump into one of them. All I would need to haunt me forever. Despite all my attempts, I did end up bumping into someone… I don’t even wanna know who cause I’m traumatized enough from that day, lol But a girl was rushing to kneel in front of me and I scooted back just a tad and bam… leg or something. I’ve never readjusted so fast in my life. The picture was taken and I took off in a diagonal for the gift table cause we left our stuff over there. (One of the staff was not happy about it but we didn’t care) There was amusing shit that happened on the other side with my friends Daph and Megan but I can’t even begin to get that story correct. All I know is Daphne booked it for the table while I was waiting for her and had BAP in hysterics.

Then as we were leaving we told the manager we would see him next year and ran out of there as fast as possible.

Also here’s Himchan’s face in our photo… which I conveniently compared it to the FSG face for you.

If you find the full i’m the one in the red.

‘twas a hell of a night.

Fin.

#BAP fan account #BAP #LOE NYC 2017 #party baby world tour #himchan #yoo youngjae #daehyun #zelo #yongguk #jongup #hi touch #jesus lord help #the feels are strong with this one

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dimsumdamsel · 7 years

Text

92 truths that you dont really need to know about me but im gonna tell you anyway ! !

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

tagged by: @slavshiro ohoo THANK YOU ILY

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mom just called me to tell me to turn the stove on [3] text message: the love of my life, sonia!!! [4] song you listened to: 말이야 (I Mean That) by CLC!!! quality song [5] time you cried: dec 8 when i thought i only got 10/60 on my calc final cause i had an anxiety attack in the middle of it and called my cousin on her birthday and cried to her about being worthless and how my parents deserve a better daughter, one more like my successful brother :^) i havent cried since then because im even more dead than ive ever been :^)

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nope, i dont want to relive any of my past relationships; i mean it ended for a reason so? but maybe for a future relationship if it comes to it?? theres still an extremely low chance of it happening though lol [7] been cheated on: not that i know of but probably not [8] kissed someone and regretted it: ksjngkejrnkgne yeah, elementary school with isaiah mike lmao what a mistake [9] lost someone special: mmmm not recently [10] been depressed: i’m honestly not sure– like its not bad enough to where i would need medicine but i do feel down, empty, and find it hard to be happy a lot?? its mostly cause of school but baHhhhahaH yikes dog pictures never fail to cheer me up though [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: im a good girl, i dont plan on drinking until im legally allowed to lmao even than, i probably would still be reluctant

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] orange (orange clothes are ugly though) [13] cream / white ! [14] dark blues !

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: sweats honestly no, i havent made any new friends for a couple years now? i mean i met people form key club but i dont talk to them often [16] fallen out of love: i guess [17] laughed until you cried: i think so [18] found out someone was talking about you: yO SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME TODAY THAT SOMEONE I DATED KEEPS TELLING MY OTHER FRIEND THAT HE MISSED ME AND honestly get over me please, like its been like what nine months now and youre not going to get anywhere with mulling in the past? dont bother other people about this because they dont want to hear it. [19] met someone who changed you: NOT IN THE PAST YEAR KFKNDFKE [20] found out who your true friends are: i never have fake friends? like even if they wanted to gain something from me there would be nothing to get lmao [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nAH

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: probably a little more than three fourths [23] do you have any pets: i have a six inch fish, my dad has a six inch fish, and my mom has two smaller three inch fish (the ones my dad and i own are at least five years old now and the ones my mom has are less than a year old) [24] do you want to change your name: nope, my parents chose it for me and i want to honor that, plus i dont think any other names would suit me [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went out to eat kbbq with sonia and then stayed home for the rest of the day !!!!! thank you sonia ohoo i would’ve just spent it doing nothing wihtout you kjngkjer [26] what time did you wake up: 6:30 am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: dinking around on my phone probably [28] name something you cannot wait for: short term: the week to end, long term: owning a dog [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 3 minutes ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i was more confidant about myself and my ability to do things [31] what are you listening to right now: good luck by aoa [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i know a tommy?? [33] something that is getting on your nerves: :3 [34] most visited website: “tinklr dot hell” [35] elementary: i miss my elementary school friends : ( [36] high school: fuck the counselors [37] college: high school + more crying honestly, i like it though, i feel more free (at least in the running start program lmao) im waiting to see if UW seattle and bothell want me next year though and i really want to die at the though of them not accepting me cause i’ll just be an even bigger disappointment to my family lol [38] hair color: dark brown but a chestnut-ish color in the sun (i really want to dye my hair so its that chestnut color all the time though) [39] long or short hair: i like short hair but i currently have long hair thats three or four inches under my armpits, i plan on cutting it soon though [40] do you have a crush on someone: no serious ones, just the “wow he smiled at me “ and “gOd he held the door for me i am Snatched” kind of little crushes [41] what do you like about yourself?: i like that i was able to make good friends [42] piercings: ears [43] blood type: B+ i think– not completely sure if im + or - but i know its B for sure [44] nickname: none, just pet names from sonia and jiejie by gil ohoo [45] relationship status: single and not really looking for anything, i just want a dog [46] zodiac sign: sagittarius [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: i surprisingly have a lot of favorite american shows like bones, psych, monk, criminal minds, leverage, saving hope, pushing daisies, ghost whisperer, basically all shows on ion tv minus law&order, then theres gravity falls and bobs burger, and then a bunch of animes and dramas [49] tattoos: none but ive always wanted one either on my wrist or inner arm ! [50] right or left handed: right handed

FIRST… [51] surgery: never [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: lisa! we’ve literally known each other since we were born and shes always going to be my favorite cousin and one of my best friends [54] sport: track [55] vacation: dont remember very well?? i saw some vcr tapes of us going to disney in 2001 though [56] pair of trainers: ive never had any trainers, just running shoes?? i had small red sandals that squeaked whenever i walked when i was a kid though

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: water (ive been drinking so much water lately but i’m always thirsty so i lowkey think theres something wrong with me) [59] i’m about to: knock out [60] listening to: 情歌王 by leo ku (its like a compilation of classic love songs thats 13 minutes long but i could sing the entire thing karaoke style easily) [61] waiting for: death [62] want: to not disappoint my parents, my friends, or myself anymore [63] get married: eventually i guess [64] career: student, scribe/visual interpreter/reader/proctor for my college’s DSS

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs ! [66] lips or eyes: eyes ! ! which is funny cause making eye contact with people makes me Uncomfortable [67] shorter or taller: taller please, im tired of being the taller friend and i want to feel small for once [68] older or younger: older, i’ve had enough with younger guys lmao [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic but spontaneous is good too [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms i guess [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive?? [72] hook up or relationship: relationship wtf i dont even get how hook ups work alright [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant lmao

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no what the heck [75] drank hard liquor? nope [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? lost contacts (which sucks cause i wear hard contacts since they cant make soft ones with my prescription and only replace them once a year, thankfully i can use the ones from previous years) but never glasses [77] turned someone down: no [78] sex on first date? yikes no [79] broken someone’s heart? ya but it was for the best [80] had your own heart broken? ya but i was never that sad about it [81] been arrested? no oml i sweat every time i see cop cars [82] cried when someone died? no one close to me has died so far, but i def cried at the ladies’ code car accident [83] fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? i want to [85] miracles? yes but i have yet to witness any [86] love at first sight? mmmm to a certain extent– i think its mostly based on looks but when you get to know them that when the real love happens [87] santa claus? used to exist probably [88] kiss on the first date? depends [89] angels? yeah, why not

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: sonia del casal : ) [91] eye colour: dark brown [92] favourite movie: listen ive watched your name (kimi no na wa) a grand total of sixteen (16) times and i could still watch it another ten times (i love to suffer)

tagging @sweet-hunny, @hideous-kojimmies , @panda-p-king, @puervy , @otonai , @izumiiz , @hxanns , anyone cause yikes i dont know very many people

#no need to actually do it if i tagged to too btw #its just for fun and whatever #thank you for tagging me again though ohohohoh ily #dimsums demise

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thespanglydragon · 7 years

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a brief (not at all brief) update on my life until the next time I remember i have this blog and need to sort out my thoughts:

i got a 1st in my first project of the year. I find out my dissertation and second project marks next week, and if they’re both in the high 60s i might be able to graduate with a 1st overall. Which is scary, because if I could then I will feel really disappointed if i dont manage it. I cant tell how to deal with that... but a 2:1 is awesome and would be fitting. I expect that mark, I dont know if I expect a 1st.

I’m fairly stressed in a preemptive way because of all of the work I need to be doing soon, I’m learning lots of things in these projects that I wish I’d learned last year (which I didnt learn because instead I was trying to direct a project which was another learning curve. I wish I had more time to fit in what I’m learning now, cause I wish I knew it now to make my input into my current projects all it could be). Another 6 months of this course would have done me well.

The boy I like, I’m constantly between ‘hes cute and nice’ and ‘hes a friend’ because he is both - i’ve gotten to know him better and i like that regardless of whatever my romantic feelings are. I’m still not 100%, and it’s a crush, but I’m happy not doing anything much about it. I take the opportunity to spend more time with him, but I also do that more with my close friends anyway because I think i’m feeling that soon, once we graduate, we’ll all split off and I love these guys so much in such a gentle friendly way.

I’m feeling really good about having a crush because... for once, even though I’ve always been ‘im happy not doing anything about it’, it’s not preventing me from being the best I can be. I’m not avoiding him or feeling weird around him at all, if anything it’s making me feel more confident about myself because it just feels very nice and my life is culminating right now into a place where I feel good about myself and my friends, where I could go with my career, and having a crush is a part of life that is enjoyable, and i’m happy and surprised that i’m more confident around him than I ever was before I liked him (since we’ve been friends for almost 2 years).

That said, I’m annoyed because I’d told people a few months ago I liked him, but now another person gave away the game to another friend and it’s not something I want to go around. I know full well how I feel about him but that doesnt mean I want other people to know, mainly because of that first issue - I’m happy with him as a friend, and I dont want to disrupt that friendship because people find out and try to either force a situation, or let him know which could very easily disrupt a normal friendship. I’m getting to the point where I just want people to shut up about anything involving me and relationships - because there are also people who still bring up my ex being like ‘oh how’s he’ ‘oh what about ryan’ or making comments implying theres something there when there isn’t. Leave it. I’ve gotten over it, he has too, it was almost 2 years ago now, I dont see him much but you guys see him a lot because the friends group has gone that way. Just allow us to exist as people who arent involved in each others lives beyond being on the same course and having similar friends circles. It really pisses me off.

However, I definitely dont help this point because I’ve developed a habit of being ruthlessly truthful as a defense mechanism, specifically about feelings. I think I got to the point where being totally accepting of my feelings, and not hiding that (in fact letting people know) about them was a good thing I got into when I was getting out of depression, cause I could accept any emotion I had at the time and do something about it, and was very unapologetic if people expressed any kind of intrigue. I used it when I was younger and depressed as a way to try to give blame to other people by making them feel guilty, but it turned into just not letting me blame myself for the illness. Growing out of that kind of means now, I’m overly happy to share my feelings or secrets, when in reality I dont really want people in on the situation. I’m slowly trying to learn about .... emotional modesty? I dont need people to know everything I’ve ever felt, I dont need to tell my every hearts desire or secret. I think acknowledging that is part of me feeling much better about myself and my life in general that’s been happening over the past year - I dont feel like I need other people’s validation to be happy (which is something that plagued me in first year). But I just need to get out of the habit of being so wanting of attention in that way. I’m good as I am, people do like me, I have awesome friends who love me, I dont need some kind of extra quirk or something that will make me interesting.

Oh, and my parents got a new puppy!!!! and i went to an AWESOME harry potter quiz with alcoholic (and delicious) butterbeer that was waaaaaay better than the stuff you get at the studios tbh, me and my sisters and co came 15th out of about 50 which isn’t bad considering some of the rounds were so hard I’m amazed people actually got any answers (such as naming the specific scene a short clip of music was from - and they were obscure like ‘the first time the staircase moves in the first film’ but not when they go into the out of bounds corridor etc)

I’ve also gotten into a routine (something I’m sure 16 year old me would attack me for) of being in uni by 10 (soon to turn to 9), staying tile 8 each night, doing work, not letting myself have facebook on my main computer screen, and i’m really... enjoying it? Posting my collaboration work on the group each evening to recieve feedback. We had two media weeks (bit like reading weeks) where I was in every day, and now lessons have started back again I’m getting annoyed cause I cant do as much work as usual because lectures are getting in the way! I’m really liking it! It’s really nice to feel because the routine is making me feel better, sleep better, not so much eat better cause I’d rather cook for lunch than spend but ehh, but it’s just nice to feel like I’m now someone who can work in this kind of ‘working life’ routine, I will actually fit in and enjoy office work if it’s like my uni work life now (I’m not the only one spending days in our uni room doing work rather than staying at home - a core group of us are agreeing that separating home life and uni life is definitely beneficial to our work and keeping on track, and that being a good feeling rather than feeling like a chore). It’s nice to experience learning that, rather than having that idea forced on young people as it sometimes seems to be (ending up with people who isolate themselves and are unhappy and dont know why, because they’ve not learnt to have a working life balance) I dont know, everything’s really good right now, I actually feel like I want a career in this, I am enjoying my work, I’m doing well at uni, I have lovely friends, I cant get over how lovely and yet calm my life is. It’s like everything is happening in my life with this tinge of yellowy sunlight, bad things may happen but overall, my life is good and regular and I have aims and there are things that could be better, but that’s good because i can work to get them.

#.personal.#this is odd. it's just clearing and solidifying my thoughts which is nice #it's good to see it written and have a plan

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sassyhottubstrawberry-blog · 6 years

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where to get an insurance quote for anything

"where to get an insurance quote for anything

where to get an insurance quote for anything

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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so ive been thinkin about getting a car. but i dont know how much i would be paying a month for car insurance..i would really appreciate to get accurate answers...thank u guys

Math question about cars and insurance?

I make 10 dollars an hour, full time job, 80+ hour checks with about 100 dollars in commission monthly. (1700 a month before taxes). I have to pay my rent, 325, my electric, 200 a month, and my phone bill- 40 dollars a month. My internet is 15 a month. How much do you think I could pay for a car, and insurance for a car without going broke? As in, what kind of price brackets should I stay in? I've been driving a car that's paid off since I was 16, now that car is falling apart. I need help, I've never done this before! :) Thanks!""

What is the Benefit of an insurance company selling a new for old Policy?

And... Why is it important to them to have the correct reserve... I already know a few reasons, but I'm revising and my mind has gone blank! Please can someone help? I'm normally very much on the ball.. but its just left me! Thank you""

""Ran a red light in NYC, what can I do to avoid having my insurance increase?""

Today, I ran a red light as I was going downhill in the rain to avoid hydroplaning into an intersection. As I ran the red light, a camera from above flashed and I'm 99% sure I'm getting a ticket in the mail now. I don't live in New York state (I live in South Dakota which is like 30 hours away), so I don't have a means of going down to the DMV in NYC once I get my ticket in the mail. In the meantime(or once I get my ticket), what steps can I take to not have my insurance rate go up?""

Baton Rouge Louisiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 70895

Cheapest insurance for first time drivers?

i need help on finding the cheapest insurance for first time drivers i am 18 and near ending my lessons for my driving test and want to know cheap insurers for my first insurance wihout the little black box in my car, and also is it best to ring or online for my insurance prices thanks""

Does a man have a right to control what his wife eats if he pays her health insurance?

For example, if she is a stay at home mom and he works full time and pays extra money to have her put on his insurance. I say this because eating right is an important part of being healthy and to be honest I don't want my future wife to be overweight.""

How much would car insurance be for a 19 year old?

I just got my license and I know that car insurance can be really expensive for younger people. I was wondering if there is any cheap insurance company? I would love to pay no more than $100, is this possible? Any inside from personal experiences?""

Does anybody no any cheap car insurance company for young male drivers plz help in Ireland thank you?

Car insurance?????????????????

I am buying a new car but haven't sold mine yet, I still want insurance on my old one incase I have to drive it.. How do you go about it? Does it cost much??""

How much is insurance??????????

i want to buy a used car/motorcycle but i need to pay rent and im scared my job wont cover insurance anyways how much would insurance be for 1 year? can i get a better deal also if we have a family plan thing or w.e i mean we got 3 cars and have insurance but i want my own car idk if my parents are up to pay but would it be cheaper if i put it under their name with the plan or w.e PS. WE DO NOT HAVE ANY DUI's OR CRASHES OR ANYTHInG WHATSOEVER that has to do with our cars getting hit or dmged or anything.

Whats the best insurance for the self employed?

We need some insurance, but don't have a ton of cash.""

New Car Insurance?

I just bought a new car. I put down $7,000 and am paying $197/month for five years. I purchased car insurance, and the monthly premium is $358. Is this too much? I'm 18 years old, and I live in Colorado. I know it's going to be high because I'm a teenager and it's a new car, but does this seem like it is too high?""

Car insurance questions (Still on parent's plan)?

I have a few questions... Is there a set age where I can no longer be on my mom's car insurance? Or is it completely up to her? For example can two adults (both in their 40's) be on the same insurance? I am 19. I currently live with my mom. If I were to move out, can I still be on her insurance? If I don't go to college, can I still be on her insurance? I heard you need to be a full time student to be on a parent's insurance? If I were to buy a car, would it have to be in her name?""

Where can I get cheap car insurance? (UK)?

I'm a 17 year old guy, about to turn 18 and my mum bought me a car! I have yet to pass my driving test but have booked one for June. I have been looking on the internet for car insurance and the best I had found was about 715. That was a couple of days ago. Now the cheapest is 798. Is there somewhere you found cheap car insurance? I am hoping I might be able to phone up and try to convince them to drop their 798 a little because of the sudden change. What else can I do? I've looked on every car insurance website i can think of. If you dont know how to answer this question can you name as many car insurance companies as possible in case i missed one. thanks""

Where is the best website to compare pco insurance prices?

fully comprehensive i would like a quote straight away. some websites you give all the details and it says that the company will contact the person regarding the quote. i want to compare mini cab insurance not taxi insurance. thank you so much in advance. :)

""Cheap dental work without insurance in Oregon, Gresham?""

Cheap dental work without insurance in Oregon, Gresham?""

Pay-as-you-drive auto insurance: do you think this is a good idea?

An alliance of insurance companies and environmentalists wants to bring a new kind of mileage-based auto insurance to California and charge motorists only for the number of miles actually driven. Called pay as you drive, the option is available from a few insurers in 34 states ... as well as Canada, Japan and Europe. One company, GMAC Insurance Group, says its customers -- whose mileage is tracked by General Motors Corp.'s OnStar system -- have reduced the premiums they pay by 13% to 54%.... The system could cut motoring costs, protect the environment and reduce traffic congestion, boosters say. Opponents, mainly privacy advocates, say they fear that insurance companies could begin tracking more than just a driver's mileage. High-mileage drivers could also see higher rates. from the Los Angeles Times http://www.latimes.com/news/science/environment/la-fi-carinsure15-2008jul15,0,6970018.story""

Does the insurance rate go up if there's a gap?

I dont have insurance for the last 4 months.. I had it for 3 years before

""Young driver insurance, should I get a tracker on my car?""

hi, I am 18, male and have my test in 2 days, I have been looking at cars and insurance but no one will even give me a quote on normal insurance. I have found a 1.0l lupo 51 plate and got a quote for 3400 with the tracker thing that records speeds, acceleration, breaking and that? just wondering should i do that or what? I don't want to be limited too much and feel im being watched. Anyway, does anyone know any companies that will even give me a quote? I know its not going to be cheap because of my age and sex but a price would be nice without that annoying box thing or should I just take the tracker insurance? Thanks in advance""

Where can I get an affordable liability insurance for my new cleaning business in California?

I'm trying to open a new residential cleaning business. I already got a quote from state farm but it was way too expensive. 2500 dollars per year. I'm new in this, so, I ...show more""

How much would insurance for a16year old male driving a 97 camaro?

V6 97 camaro 170xxx In Oklahoma what would it cost

Is my insurance company ripping me off?

righto, my current insurance is 3800 (steep but hey, belfast is a bad place for car insurance) with my job as a full time student. i'm no longer a full time student, i'm now a full time engineering apprentice. getting a quote, it drops my insurance to around 2400. i phoned my insurance people to tell them this and they said that because i was still full time in a learning environment, i'm a FT student. i disagree with this, what do you think?""

Mazda Miatia Insurance Costs!!!?

I am 18 years old and am in the process of buying a mazda miata. I am looking to buy one between 2002-2005. how BAD will the insurance be on it for someone my age? LIke minimum coverage, just Liability and Uninsured Motorist.""

Mr2 Spyder Insurance Rate?

About how much insurance a month do you pay for a 2000 through a 2003 Mr2 Spyder? Is it expensive (is it classified as a sports car) or is it average? Also, would you recommend this car? Why or why not?""

How much (roughly) would car insurance for this car be a year?

im going to be 15 when i would be driving it and its a 1998 Lincoln Navigator and im with state farm and i will be added onto my moms policy and my sisters also on it and my mom and my sister have never been in car wrecks and im taking drivers ed and I live in montana (low crime) so about roughly how much would it cost a year for insurance on this car?

""My Dad has cancer, and my parents can not afford life insurance for him. Can I get it to help out when the time comes?""

My Dad has cancer, and my parents can not afford life insurance for him. Can I get it to help out when the time comes?""

""What car do you drive, how old are you and how much do you pay for insurance?

I need a few questions answered. 1. How old are you? 2. What car do you drive? 3. How much do you pay for insurance?

Fellowship in insurance?

what is the scope for fellowship in life insurance and general insurance in india to start a career in insurance.

I was in a car accident that was not my fault. Does my insurance go up?

This guy in front of me backed into my front end at a stop light. We both got out and he tried compromising. I refused and called the cops and took down his plates and the make of the car. Good thing I did because he left right after I called. I think this guy may have been illegal he didnt speak english and was very eager for me to not call the cops. I felt bad but my car is really messed up. Is my insurance going to go up? If so how much?

Baton Rouge Louisiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 70895

Where can I Find Reliable Cheap Life Insurance Quotes?

I recently started a home internet based business. When I was just starting out I went without insurance for a while. Now that things are going well I would like to buy a life insurance policy. There are a ton of life insurance sites, but most of them seem biased or focused on an individual provider. Where can I find a good life insurance quote site that is unbiased or gives me quotes from a wide array of services? Also, are there any good tips for saving money buying life insurance for small business owners?""

Is there anyone in california that helps people with claiming insurance from the other party's insurance compa?

My wife and I were crossing the street in San Francisco when we were run down by a cab. Police report says cab driver is at fault. Problem is we're about to head back to our country (we're tourists) and need help settling obligations with the hospital by claiming damages from the cab company's insurance company. While we're back in our own country. Is there an office that assists foreigners with claiming?

How should I calculate when to change from full coverage auto insurance to liability only?

Currently driving 2004 F-150 with 110,000 miles, carrying full coverage insurance. When should I switch to a liability only policy?""

On what type of a car would insurance be the cheapest and how much would it cost?

I'm a guy about to turn 16 and get my licencse, or about to get my permit first, and was wondering if anyone had an answer to my question.""

How much is MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE?????

I am 18. I want to get a sports motorcycle. How much will my insurance be?

Is This Right? (Retinal Detachment/Cataract/Lens/Insur... Question)?

Let me make a very long story short and get right to the questions. I have moved across the United States by myself at the age of 20 with no insurance covered by my parents, nor will they ever if they could. I had a retinal detachment in my left eye. Paid out of pocket for an eye doctor appointment, he freaked out and told me to go straight to the emergency room for emergency surgery since my entire retina was detached. After my surgery, half unconscious too, a social worker got assigned to me because I was under 21 and legally dependent on the state. So the state paid for my surgery. I had a 2nd one too because the first failed. During my 2nd surgery I had cataracts in my eye so they removed the natural lens. And they never replaced the natural lens since they feared the retina may detach again like the first time. But it stay together and I turned 21. So therefore, legally independent by the state. My check up appointment was after my birthday which the front desk of the eye section declared I must pay $80 for every check up visit, which they wanted me to come in every other week. And if I did not pay, I could not go in. Due to my 6 months of surgeries and recover time I had no money, and was not working. I live with my in-laws, and they were taking care of me, but they are certainly not going to pay my medical bills. So here I am now, age 22 and I have been working for about a year. My job does not offer health insurance until you worked for a year, and even then, there is a certain month you can sign up. I have been walking around for over a year without a natural lens, or ANY lens in my left eye. This is in no way like being blind. My doctor had told me that if I got my license and drove, if ever in an accident, I would get in serious trouble because you are not supposed to drive this way. Not that I do, I cannot see correctly so it is wicked dangerous. Having no lens in one eyes messes with your other eye. Hard to explain unless you have literally had this situation before. Sunlight glares into my bad eye, then into my good eye. Same with darkness or bright lights in general. I am actually very blind at night because of this. This is literally ruining my life. I have no money to pay for insurance, or the surgery which can be easily be 10,000 dollars. Is this legal for a county hospital to do? I have never heard of anyone in my situation. Even the thousands of times I have googled and searched. Never heard of anyone in my shoes. What are my rights here? Is there some way I can fight this? Where is my justice? This is holding me back so badly in life. Please someone with real help and not a crappy site they copy and pasted, help! I need some real human help!!""

Does car insurance go up if you get your drivers permit?

will my parents car insurance go up if i only get my permit?

How much would insurance cost in Australia?

Hi, i'm thinking about buying a car a month after i get my P's and i want to be the registered owner and have the title of the car. I was wondering in Australia how much car insurance i would have to pay each month, if i have a car under my name. The car would be a Toyota Prado GXL. Also would it just be better to leave it under my parent's name so the insurance would cost less? Oh and I'll be 17 when i get my car. thank you.""

Is there a cheap auto insurance i can get while i have my learners permit?

Its like you have to have insurance to buy a car, but you have to have the car to take the drivers test. So im really confused, and i need to know if theres protection for me while i have my learners permit?""

Teen girl car insurance premium?

I was wondering if anyone had an idea of about how much it would cost me. I'm buying (maybe) a 2004 ford focus with 53k miles on it, but it's going to be under my stepdads name (I only have half the cash right now and I need a car to get back and forth from classes in a couple weeks when I start at a local university so he's buying it and I'm paying him back). We also have a stage 3 2014 roush and a 2012 Nissan Titan on our plan. I know the (6 month?) premium on the roush is a little over 1300, but I'm not sure about the Titan, and im not sure if that will affect it. Im pretty much wondering about the insurance on the focus considering the fact that im a 17 year old teen. I have a part time job and I'm a full time student, though and that helps a bit. I also took drivers Ed. And I'm a mostly A with some B's honors student. So insurance price in terms of me?""

Car insurance is too high!!!?

Been up since 8AM ringing several insurance companies. I have been declined 13 quotes, and offered 9 quotes noted below: Direct Line - 8,000.00 Admiral - 6,400.66 Insure motor - 9,294.00 Elephant - 6,400.66 Aviva - 13,084.00 MasterQuote - 11,001.60 On some of the forms I have used my nan's address as I live in a high-risk area, so I will actually park the car at my nan's house, not fraudalent I will actually do that. Are there any more hints/tips on what to do to bring down the insurance? I recently bought a Peugeot 106 1.1 LOOK+ 3dr hatchback. I'm 20 years old and passed my test on 30/10/2012.""

Car insurance for 4 months.?

I'm going to uni in 4 months but my mum is planning to buy a car. I'll be the main driver for the 4 months prior to uni and after that it will be my mum's car and I won't be driving it at all. How would I go about getting insurance for this situation?

How can I get cheaper motorbike insurance?

I know postcode makes it cheaper/dearer, but can anyone Please tell me what else puts the price up? Thanks""

Health Insurance for 19 under?

I'm currently 17 but I will be turning 18 in November. A few years ago when my mom barely had hours at her work, she couldn't afford my insurance any longer so she had to drop it. So now I've been without insurance for a while now. I applied at her job, which offers health insurance after 18 months of working there. it'll be 18 months this November. But I am so fed up with the way the supervisor is treating her employees. I'm planning on quitting but before I can do so, I need to find myself an affordable health insurance? Can someone help me in details please?""

How much does health care insurance cost in America?

Im planning on moving to America with my 2 children to live with my boyfriend, can anyone tell me how much health insurance costs?""

Cheap health insurance in Pennsylvania?

Which companies have good coverage in Philadelphia, and have affordable plans (~60-70 bucks). I'm looking at moderate deductible plans with copays for doctor office visits. Also, ...show more""

When asked to give name and address for a car insurance quote?

Do they send you information? Because my parents currently pay for my car insurance but I want to get some insurance quotes before I move out of the house (which they don't know about). I also don't want junk mail...

Need senior insurance advise?

my mother has a supplemental insurance health [anthem] we recently received a letter that informed us that because of the cost of living..it is necessary to more then double the monthly premiums..when my mother used a ambulance service...god bless this insurance. they paid 13 dollars and we had to pay the rest.the insurance sucks!..does anyone have an alternative supplemental insurance and has anyone tried the ARRP program..moms Aricet is 300.00 a month alone..so i found out i can get this in canada for 50.00 a month..i now order my mothers pills a little early and save the excess pills for when she gets in that infamous donut hole...its a killer out there.mom has dementia and does not have the strain that i have trying to keep her in good health.any advise would be appreciated....

Need help finding affordable health insurance for a 1 year old baby boy in Nebraksa or Iowa?

Please help

Cheap car with cheap insurance?

Im 18 and Ive just passed my driving test and im looking for a good car for around 2500. The cars with cheap insurance are more expensive and the cheap cars have a relatively high insurance cost. The budget for the insurance is not set but I don't want to pay a ridiculous price. Any suggestions on a perfect car which is in my budget but with a low insurance cost? P.S. I understand because im young the insurance will be expensive but if anyone has any advice on how to get cheaper insurance please let me know.

On average how much would it insurance cost for new drivers?

Well I passed my road test the other day and also took drivers ed. My mom doesn't have a car or a license, so I'm the only one with a license and my mom will be buying me a car. We are going to get a car that's no older than 2005, arond 40K miles and is used. I also don't have a credit card. Would anyone know on average how much insurance would cost on average for someone in my situation?""

Which car would be cheaper for me to insure?

Would it be cheap for me to insure myself on my mum's insurance (her being the main driver) on a renault megane 1.5 or to buy my own car and insure it (Vauxhall corsa 1.2)? Thanks

Ninja 250r Insurance price for 17 year old?

Hi, i am looking to buy a USED ninja 250r when i turn 17. How much would Insurance cost per month? I plan on taking the msf course, and any other program that could lower my insurance rate. Thanks!""

Home hazard insurance vs. home owners insurance?

What is the difference?

How do I get car insurance if my car was stolen?

I wrecked my car recently & was given a ticket for no insurance. My car was stolen shortly after & now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about the ticket or getting insurance. The court date is approaching very quickly! HELP PLEASE!

Baton Rouge Louisiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 70895

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