#BUT HE WON'T LET ME

[mspaintbladie]

tail poke

#doodle #shitposting #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr blade #mochi's art #must poke the fox tail aaa #but he won't let me #i'm either gonna get bitten or stabbed if i try too many times

[99thpercentile]

places where the audio distorts

image ids under the cut

tmagp 4:

tmagp 5:

tmagp 7:

tmagp 8:

the audio distorts when people lie.

I imagine this knowledge will come in handy later.

[id: ALICE: This is not something you go poking around in. Not if you want to keep your job… or your neck. SAM: (a little amused) Okay, okay! I get it. Consider me scared straight. "Consider me scared straight" is highlighted. end id]

[id: LENA: Now, while I understand your concerns, you need to understand that Colin has held the IT Manager position for some time without incident, and although he is somewhat… frustrated with his current assignment, he can request help from the central IT team at any time. I am certain that should he find his responsibilities unmanageable, he will request assistance. Or resign, of course. Either way, the problem will resolve itself. "Or resign, of course" is highlighted. end id]

[id: CELIA: Is there any way to look up specific files? ALICE: Like what? CELIA: Oh, I don’t know. Every case about… being buried alive, or meat, or… whatever. ALICE: Well, there’s a search bar, but it doesn’t actually do anything. You’d have to dig through them all manually. (suspicious) – Why do you ask? CELIA: Just figuring it all out. Ah well, I guess I’ll need to find Bigfoot on my own time. "Just figuring it all out" is highlighted. end id]

[id: GERTRUDE: I see. Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think Gerry can help you – GERRY: (casually) Yeah, I barely remember any of it. "I don’t think Gerry can help you" is highlighted. end id]

[id: GERRY: Oh yeah, but I was pretty young. I remember filling in a bunch of forms and questionnaires, then some old men asking me questions about what books I liked to read, who did I look up to, that kind of thing. And then I left. SAM: (disappointed) That’s all? GERRY: Yeah, afraid so. Other than just sitting around with a bunch of other kids in a room that smelled like old books. "Yeah, afraid so" is highlighted. end id]

[id: CELIA: I’m trying to look into… Weird physics stuff: time travel, other dimensions, teleportation, all that good stuff. Freddy doesn’t really do searches, so you could keep an eye out and let me know if any come up in your cases? SAM: Uh, sounds a bit sci-fi compared to our usuals. What’s this for? (amused breath) You’re not doing research for that podcast you were on, are you? CELIA: (surprised) You know about that? SAM: I might have given you a quick Google. CELIA: Then… yeah. I’m doing a favor for Georgie. "yeah. I’m doing a favor for Georgie" is highlighted. end id]

#tmagp #The Magnus Protocol #tmagp theories #tmagp spoilers #original #most of these are relatively easy to clock as lies regardless #which makes sense. they need to be for us to notice the pattern and apply it later #but it does tell us for sure that Colin can't quit #or maybe he can but he won't be able to work anywhere else like Teddy? #in any case he (and possibly the rest?) can't quit in a meaningful way #if you find any I missed please let me know!! #why is this happening? who knows! Beholding thing maybe?

[yuwuta]

you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but he’s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shit’s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happened like he’s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel

#he consistently does shit like this is like he's not stupidly attractive and its because he does not know. he does not know that he's hot #the yuuta/yuuji divide is that they’re both bad asl and neither know it but yuuji is Not innocent and yuuta is just naive [at first] #which is me saying yuuji is kind but yuuta is just Nice once again #insane i need to bash his head against a table. and kiss him i guess whatever #also who expects to be fed when you offer them food: toge but he KNOWS he's being annoying and whines if u dont feed him #gojo/yuuji/choso are the opposite #gojo asks if u want some of his food and then won't let u have any unless u let him feed it to you. nd if u want to avoid a scene u have to #he just babies people :((///// he does this to everyone . will cry #yuuji also does it reflexively like hes like 'oh! this is good you should try it!' and before u can even agree he's got his spoon #in your mouth and smiling like 😇 its good right!🥰......angel boy #choso...do i need to say it isn't there canonical evidence for this #oh also u offer food to toji and he just kinda tilts his head like oh what ur not gonna feed me? like no. stinky. feed YOURSELF! #yuuta okkotsu.................... when i get my hands on this boy.... #💌.yuuta

[romansmartini]

i’m connecting the dots

#succession #girl like gerri used to be the only person who didn't think roman was a joke. #AUUGHBJHSBGJHEWBFJHEWB #WAHHHHHHHHHHH #whatever. let me be delusional for a sec maybe one day she won't think he's a joke again if he gets his act together <3 #jk we are so over

[devondespresso]

barista!eddie drawing a pentagram or whatever with the table cleaner while closing and accidentally summoning demon!steve, who's absolutely stoked to see a cozy little coffee shop for the first time

#steddie #steve x eddie #steddie idea #eddie x steve #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie st #steddie stranger things #steddie fic idea #steddie au #anyway fic idea up for grabs cause i won't let myself start another wip until my longfic is wayyyy closer to finished #barista!eddie munson #omg thats a tag #slay #demon!steve harrington #alternatively (upon seeing the demon eddie tag): eddies also a demon and steves just new and didnt realize he can just leave hell on his ow #if anyone uses this tag me i wanna see what you do with it 💕 #devon thinks sometimes

[tubbytarchia]

For the ranchers a bit more shleep i just really like charakters comfy and nice:Dc /nf

Eepies. Jimmy woke up to really sore wings but its okay because Tango

#(I cannot imagine avians sleeping on their backs lest they have special mattresses or something but hnng. For the domestic fluff...) #team rancher #rancher duo #solidaritek #I imagine Tango is not nearly as much of a ray of sunshine in the mornings as Jimmy is. Jimmy finds it endearing though 100% #I also imagine Tango moves the hell around in his sleep and tangles them both up with his tail #He's gonna try to apologize a thousand times for “making you sleep on your back” but Jimmy won't let him #ALSO what does /nf mean lol. Every other day I see another new tone indicator that I cant figure out the meaning of #please feel free to use brackets to circumvent my stupidity. I do not know the hip things... I am but a boomer noobie #trafficshipping #trafficblr #I have so many other rancher asks in my inbox that could fall under this #Rancher cuddles and smol Tango and this and that hhrr but I will... I will get to them... in time.... #never enough rancher content #also laying on someone when they laugh so their chest bounces up and down etc. Oh it makes me weak. Not that I know what its like lol #but it feels cute... #tubby art

[astrolavas]

my art style is too simple for this but just know that when i draw post-ttt hunter, in my mind he has central pink-brown heterochromia. like this, kinda:

#just..... so neat to me #i love the brown but sometimes i miss the pink + it being a visible grimwalker feature so THIS is how i cope #also To Me his eyes also absolutely reflect pink in the dark still #the owl house #hunter toh #toh hunter #my art #? #my sketches #my doodles #hunter #my toh talk #headcanon #nicole talks #there's also the quite popular complete heterochromia headcanons where his right eye is brown and left magenta #but i can't FULLY commit to those cuz ig the logistics of it depends on what fully happened and WHY hunter's eye color changed. magic-wise #and we don't knowwww! and i'm not sure what to go with and it's gonna bother me if my headcanon is not Air-Tight XNSKSJK #and even if it's “he gets flapjack's eyes thus only the right one” it also won't let me sleep at night cuz #there's the fact that we've SEEN flapjack's left eye open! which might've been an animation error but AUYGHGHHH..... #also . 2 different eye colors make color palettes harder LMAO i make them slightly different when i draw him with brown eyes vs pink. so! #but central heterochromia....... oh my mind is SET on this. like it's canon To Me

[championsandheroes]

It was sweet that Astarion was under the belief that no one would figure out he was a vampire before his big reveal. Most of us took one look at him and said "yep, that sure is a vampire right there." Most, however, doesn't include the party members. Some of these characters are supposed to be perceptive and intelligent, and I'm still convinced that if you press your ear against theirs you'd hear elevator music.

Over at Patreon, society6, and redbubble we don't let intellect devourers starve.

#champions and heroes #Baldur's Gate #Baldur's Gate 3 #Gale of Waterdeep #Shadowheart #Astarion #Tav #intellect devourer #your secret is safe with me Astarion #mainly because the game won't let me say anything #but I recommend that you bring him to meet the Gur hunter in act 1 before he has his reveal #that nervous energy he brings to the conversation is *chef's kiss* #adding the redbubble link again #because society6 is being a butt and has decided that you only get to have 10 designs going forward #unless you pay for the account #so uh... yeah

[thermodynamic-comedian]

the crazy thing is that malevolent really seems like it's gonna be one of those "there's nothing actually special about this guy, he just has very bad luck." stories but no. there IS something special about that guy. there's a REASON this is happening to him. this story could NOT have happened to anyone else the way it did to him. somehow, for some reason, arthur lester is special. and even more absurdly, this specific version of arthur lester is special. that's insane.

so much of the horror genre is all about how these things could happen to anyone, but malevolent wants you to explicitly know that arthur lester is important. arthur lester is the reason this story is happening. arthur lester is different, in some strange way that even he doesn't fully understand.

and that's what makes him the main character, not just the protagonist.

#when i first started listening to malevolent i really thought it was gonna be like tma. like a guy just going through the horrors #because hes part of a bigger plan #but no. #arthur lester surprised me in such a positive way #this story doesn't just follow him this story is ABOUT him. and he won't let you forget that. #i just. him!!!! #he is my roman empire #he is. the only fiction podcast protagonist i truly care about. sorry not sorry #theres just something so intrinsically different about him #malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #malevpod #malevolent meta

[celestialrealms]

Fun fact: In Barbatos's intimacy storyline in Nightbringer he ends up living with Solomon and MC at Cocytus Hall temporarily. Here's a highlight from his 40 intimacy call:

The way he makes Solomon sit in the corner. 😭 You cannot convince me he didn't raise this man.

#+ the tonal shift when he started talking to mc again made me laugh ngl #i'm already spoiled for these calls but there's no substitution for the voice work #but yeah uhh spoilers in all of nb's intimacy calls they basically end up in a committed relationship w mc #i gotta step it up with farming so i can be annoying about it. barbatos's phone calls are SO good tbh #though now that mc and solomon aren't living at cocytus hall i question them making it so theyre living there even up to 100 intimacy? #i know whales are probably much speedier but its still a bit weird considering the devs #still won't let mc and barbatos's relationship progress in the main story practically at all in comparison to the phone calls #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me shall we date #barbatos obey me #barbatos #solomon #also man i wish they'd spent some of this budget on routes instead considering how long it will be for anyone to really see these calls

[fluentisonus]

something something guy who is so so unhealthily dependent on these very specific formalized roles & narratives they've been cast into to maintain an ultimately broken relationship & can't handle it when the people around him increasingly start going off script

#i'm not articulating this well but it's sooo interesting to me #this + him not being willing to believe the institution is also breaking the 'rules' & doing evil things bc it doesn't fit this world view #he's so invested in. even though deep down he sort of knows this but he won't even let it get past his subconscious bc it's so distressing #AND like him convincing himself the joust incident was an accident bc he'd repeated it so many times even tho he Knows it wasn't #thoughts #nimona #nimona comic #^ more thoughts on this in the rbs btw

[erineas]

This is how the joke started

And this is the joke itself

Anomaly design belongs to @htsan

#Then I got deep with that last drawing for SOME REASON #idk what happened #I guess I just thought it was cute #Big shout out to bestie for inspiring me to draw the most random things #This started because Reigen and Sans are a canon couple now #Also yes anomaly is holding two fingers at once #We all look confused #But we know we're not gonna let him go #And he won't take his fingers away either #He's enjoying it #sans x every simp

[canisalbus]

Would Machete still be Catholic in modern!AU?

He was raised in a very traditional household, went through a fraught crisis of faith in his teens, became a disillusioned atheist and then eventually more or less made his peace with the whole thing and slid back a little bit to the secular/lapsed catholic territory.

#sort of #“this is an inseparable part of who I am and I just have to be okay with that" #“I don't actively resent religion as a whole but I also won't let it control my life in a way that causes me pain” #“the god and I have reached truce” #“we can hang out sometimes but in the end he does his thing and I do mine” #answered #anonymous #modern au #I'd like to think this is the best case scenario for him in a way #a chill compromise solution #of course there's some deep seated religious trauma but he's working on it and it doesn't rule over his entire life #unlike in the original canon

[caycanteven]

Fuck off Lil Shit I'm tryin' to work

#sans #my art #sans au #undertale au #caycantdoodle #underfell sans #edgy bitty #cay's bitty #lil shit moment #lil man bittybones #he won't let me work #stole my pen #had to find it #little fucker #i love him but he's an attention hoe

[samipekoe]

dungeon lord lacille

#this is my 3rd time posting this bc tumblr won't let me LIVE #fine ill delete the one where it looks like hes gonna eat her out! FINE!!!

[poppy-metal]

pls… for your consideration: ex/toxic baby daddy patrick 🤐

STAWP ‼️‼️‼️‼️ patrick is so deadbeat father who has a sudden realization he needs to get his shit together years later coded. like oh my god, i have a little babygirl and a hot wife and she sent me divore papers years ago but I've never signed that shit - we're still married - she's still my wife - thats still my kid -

its easy to hate patrick zweig from afar when hes just the man who broke your heart and left after he knocked you up - its not so easy to hate him when hes leaning against the doorframe of your home and then bending to his knees to meet the ball of sunshine thats your daughter - its not easy when you remember the nights spent dancing to electric music horribly until you collapsed into giggles into his chest, when you remember what his nose feels like skating up the collum of your throat, when you remember how he makes you laugh and how good he smells and how hes so intense, the way he looks at you, really looks at you and you want to sway into him, fall into his broad body and warm hands and feel him again.

but no. you have to remember the fights. the nights spent crying - while he lost himself in the bottom of a bottle - you have to remember the horror on his face when you'd told him you were pregnant like you'd slapped him. you have to remember how he left without a word.

he tells you he hasn't stopped thinking about you. he tells you he misses you. he tells you he was a fuckup and young and impulsive but he wants to try and be a man now, he wants to be a dad. he wants to take care of you.

you have the decency to wait until your daughter is tucked away in bed before you unravel. throw things. yell at him. tell him you hate him, he has no right to come here to you, to want to play house like its a game like its so easy. you dont need him. you dont, you've never needed anyone, especially not him.

he takes your anger - he lets you beat his chest. until you're wilted with exhaustion from it and then he reaches up to grasp your wrists. gentle. you startle to feel the wedding band around his finger - his eyes are sad. but he still has that fucking infuriating half quirk to his lips he'd always had.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"you can't fix anything, patrick. we're done. its over."

that fucking smirk. "yeah, we'll see about that."

#ask #ouuuu toxic baby daddy patrick save me #refuses to leave you alone #actually is fucking fantastic dad. when he decides he wants to be #doesn't mean you're getting back together #he has legal rights to your daughter but you wont let him into your bed again. u won't #patrick: bet *fucks you on your couch.* #patrick zweig x reader