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onehundredandeleventropicalfish · 2 years

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One thing I love about absolute mess of Endless's parents- and god just how much implication for development of Endless, but also character of their parents, despite them having such minor screentime- is how they are very similarly neglectful and awful but go about it in such different ways because...

They are both nearly totally inacessible. But Time is hard to reach because he is everywhere, because they are within him in a way, and they need to dive in between microseconds to have a chance to talk with him. Meanwhile Night is outside of reality, far beyond any event horizon, any phenomena or concept, and easiest way to reach her is to jump in black hole and hope she lets them in instead of leaving them.

Side-effect of that is how they (can't) communicate with their parents. Time already knows everything, knows them on level they themselves don't realize ( Time is aware that cat-Dream is actually Desire and aware that Dream will kill himself and Daniel will replace him) and treats it like rerun of his least favourite television channel. Night meanwhile is so distant that apparently she is not aware (and doesn't find it important event) that Destruction left and that Despair 1 died.

They are so hard to talk with? Time is both brutal in way he approaches them, personally, but also a mindscrew, as he is talking about past and future and alternate timelines at once? Meanwhile Night seemingly offers warmth and affection, but aside from being shallow and unempathic, it is intersected with really vicious barbs of emotional manipulation?

They are both, strangely possessive and apathetic of the existence, but in rather different way? Time has stated, and Morpheus corrobated, that all things belong to Time, and thus Dream can't give him anything because everything belongs to him and he doesn't long for anything- except for Night, who predates Time and is outside of his constraints. Night, who fundamentally doesn't care about anything in existence (to point of shrugging at being told that there is war to end Creation) because it was once all hers and will be hers yet again, a boundless and infinite void from which all things were born and will be there once they are no more.

Time really, really doesn't want anything to do with his kids. He is so annoyed when they dare show up and would prefer to have no interaction with them if possible. Night meanwhile is all ''you never write, you never visit'' and admits herself that she might try to keep Dream with her forever. (Also, woah, congratulations to Destiny for managing to somehow please both hahaha).

They both make children (well, Dream, but from comments we can assume others too) feel like small lost children, but also be ashamed for being stupid. Time is constantly rolling his eyes at fact that Dream is not omniscient and complains how frustrating it is that none but Destiny see universe way he does. Meanwhile Night laughs; isn't it so funny, so delightfuly naive, how Dream thinks that universe can be saved, and in such funny story way?

They are both very dismissive of, well, everything in regards with children. Time flips off Dream s protest that Hope now got murdered with ''eh, in some timelines she lives and in some she never existed at all'' (which is doubly painful when at the end we are informed that in current reiteration of universe Hope doesn't exist and Dream forgot her and Time had to know that). Night meanwhile uses her condescending-comapssion to dismiss both his fears for universe and idea how to save it, but also his reminder that Delirium wants her love and protest that he and Desire aren't similar, alongside his very purpose (another one of your stories) and desire for family ( you always wanted relationship, right).

They rail that their children are ingrateful, but again from opposite ends? Time says, I gave you your being and moments to spend it in, and there is nothing to make up for it, and refuses to grant requests no matter how important, and calls them ungrateful for complaining about it, and is resentful they keep asking him for things (and accuses it of being only reason they seek him out). Meanwhile Night offers Dream a shallow, tiny, illusionary version of what he wants, and accuses him of being selfish and ungrateful when he doesn't accept.

Time seems to be immutable and implacable, moved by neither mercy nor urgency, and quite frank with how he sees his children, and in contrast to his appearance, very static. Meanwhile Night is mercurial, prone to mood swings, and according to Gaiman, plays games with children to compete for favourite.

Time seems to have almost bussiness like relationship with his children-they make offer, he considers it and if they can give him something he wants ( carry message to Night and get Saeculum back) he will grant request. Meanwhile Night is truly a capricious and chaotic force of nature and ancient proto-god, even to Endless, they can only hope things will go right with her.

In short, no wonder Endless are so messed up- both their parents are very inhuman and cruel but in such radically opposite ways that you really couldn't form a way to adapt to treatment, it was like trying to deal with being burned and frozen at same time!

Also sorry for rambling, hope I didn't bother you!

not bothering at all! (and sorry i took a while to get back to this, had a really busy past couple weeks)

but absolutely this! one of the things about the endless that many of them struggle with is that they don't really experience their own element, they can't, they are that thing. death can never die, dream doesn't have any hopes about his own future, destiny will never have a destination, only a series of paths (that's why he's the favourite son of both, btw, bc he's always two opposite things at once)

despair is one of the most grounded and accepting of the family, what desire thinks they want and what they actually want are two completely different things

i think that's why destruction was the first to leave, why he's the most aware outside of delirium about how the endless can't continue the way they are, this life breaks people, because his domain is entropy and therefore he is endless, and that's a horrifying prospect

(delirium is a special case i will get to in another essay)

and their parents are that way, too

time doesn't experience time because he is time. every moment of every year of every century happens to him at once, always. so he doesn't understand why his children feel the way they do, because all loss and all gain is irrelevant. there was a time you had it and a time you didn't and they are the same. you didn't grieve before someone was born, why would you grieve after they die? it's the same result. he doesn't understand emotion because emotion requires time, emotions evolve over time like people evolve over time and none of that is real in time's realm. he forgives morpheus because of daniel's actions, because they're both dream enough, why does it matter which is which?

night, meanwhile, in her domain over space. space is everything, ever evolving, ever changing, and night is only herself. she doesn't change, she doesn't see from others' points of view, she's barely aware other people exist. she criticises dream for never visiting her in nearly the same breath as she tells him she doesn't know why delirium keeps visiting her, what delirium could possibly want from her. she didn't know despair was the first endless to die, she didn't know destruction had left. time knows everything about his children but doesn't care, night knows absolutely nothing, she sees them only for what they can give to her. when she offers dream what she thinks is a great boon, it's to stay in her realm forever, and forget about the entire universe dying outside. they don't matter. they're not real. and she calls him selfish and punishes him for refusing

there's that line, destiny has, in the wake, which really encapsulates this

there is an inherent tragedy to all the endless, not just dream, because they're all missing some crucial part of being human

and they're undeniably people, they live, they feel, they remember, they're not their parents who exist unbothered by what they lack, their parents aren't human enough to notice

but they're just similar enough to their parents that it hurts

#sarah's 'none of the endless are okay' meta count: 2?#3?#somewhere in there #there will be more #sandman comic spoilers #time #night #dream of the endless #destiny of the endless #despair of the endless #death of the endless #desire of the endless #destruction of the endless #overture #wake #meta #mine #ask #the sandman

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deilmo · 2 years

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Why did Dream run away in 1889

(Comic spoilers)

The reason why Dream was so offended AND dipped (beside his usual pride) during the 1889 meeting is simple: A lot of the relationships he has had, or has been offered/promised, were used against him or his wish.

It's a realization I only had this morning but-

In the comics, when he was much- much younger, Dream had a girlfriend, Killala, he brought her to a conference of stars and introduced her to them and even Desire. At that time, Desire was Dream's favorite sibling. Killala fell in love with the sun of her system, with Desire's interference, Dream of course was hurt and told Desire not to meddle again. (and Desire was basically "can't he take a joke?") This is where their bad blood started.

Later, Dream reached out to all his siblings for help, only Desire answered. Desire created Alianora. A new lover, someone to rescue him asking to Dream not to hurt her. They had a fall out in the end, it's unclear whether it was a genuine effort from Desire or another game but- it's pattern. And Desire blamed Dream for not holding up to the end of his bargain

Desire was the one responsible of the attraction between Dream and Nada, a mortal. Now there's only two rules Endless have to follow

1. Do not kill another Endless

2. Do not fall in love with mortals.

This love between Dream and Nada lead to her village destruction and her death, and in the end- to her banishment to hell after she refused to become Dream's Queen when he went to get her in the sunless lands. Desire somewhere states that "Nada was a mistake" which kind of confirms their involvement in this story.

Even his mother, tried to use relationships against him. He reaches out for her for help (in my memory, it's to stop the end of a universe), she dismiss his concerns and tell him to stay by her side. Proposing him a fake Dream realm and a relationship.

When he refuses, she flings him into the black hole he used to reach her. The only reason he managed to get out of it is because he manifested dreams into Destiny's realm, until Destiny had enough and summoned Dream to have him explain.

When looking at all this, it's clear why Dream is so isolated, lonely, and dip at the first sign of affection (platonic or not), it's clearly something he wants and craves, but it's almost impossible for him to maintain one. First because he doesn't know how to deal with them, he asked Nada two times to be his queen, she refused, and then asked her once again after she died, he was rather distant with Calliope and Orpheus only furthered that rift. He doesn't know how to deal with love (and seeing how inacessible and dismissive his parents are, it makes sense) and second is all of this- his lovers, and wants for connection is used against him.

So what do you do when you're faced with the possibility it might happen again? You dip, screw every chances that it might happen. (Dream's also a prideful person, it's a mix of both)

(I haven't even mentionned how Destruction and Death helped Orpheus, which led to his demise cause this post is already long enough- but it might have played a part too)

To quote the comics "For love is no part of the dream-world. Love belongs to Desire, and Desire is always cruel." Any relationship he'd have would be probably spent in anguish while he waits for the other shoe to drop.

#the sandman #the sandman (netflix)#the sandman comics #dream (the sandman)#dream of the endless #morpheus #hob gadling #desire of the endless #desire the sandman

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bogkeep · 2 years

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hiya! hey! welcome to my bog! my name is

Theodore Haiz Heartsword-Thyme

but you can just call me Haiz, really! i'm the bogkeep around here, so let me know if you need anything!

🍄 twitter

🍄 toyhou.se (overview of my OCs)

🍄 Ao3

🍄 Ko-fi (tip jar)

🍄 linktree

🍄pronoun cards: EN | NO

🍄 reblog sideblog @longlostpath

About Me And This Blog Under The Cut:

🌿 BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING ELSE WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS??????

in english i mainly use they/them and he/him, no particular preference!

i'm also vibing with ey/em/eir, it/its, and No Pronouns

my preferred norwegian pronouns are dem, han, and nøkk/nøkken/nøkkens

when it comes to gendered terms i prefer gender neutral + gently masculine terms, or terms used in a gender neutral manner. i don't like to be strongly gendered in either direction, and i don't want to think about my own gender more than neccessary!

the best way to describe my gender identity is Taurus II by Mike Oldfield hope this helps

🌿 WHAT THE HECK IS A BOGKEEP

it's like a barkeep but for bogs! this particular bogkeep seems to be a mix of nøkken, huldra, vodník, and possibly a changeling. maybe a cat? i wouldn't worry about it

🌿 WHO'S THE BOGKEEP?

hi i'm haiz nice to meet you. you can also call me theo or teddy if you'd like <3

i'm in my age 25+ era!

i'm norwegian and czech and currently live in, uhhhhh sweden?????

i've been many things, such as an art history student, a children's book illustrator, a volunteer for queer organizations, a hotel receptionist, And Many More. right now i am a watchmaker student. i hope to be even more things in the future!

i love to DRAW and sometimes WRITE and i have a lot of FEELINGS ABOUT THINGS

🌿 WHAT'S THIS BLOG FOR?

this is my personal blog where i post my art! i also post Thoughts and Feelings when the urge strikes me. you can't really get one without the other sorry

i post both Original Work and Fanart. the fandoms i dabble in tend to be a little obscure, but if you're reading this, chances are you've found me through one of them. thank you for enjoying my work <3

i also post photos sometimes

i've had this blog since 2011/2012! it's a bit of an archive. i don't mind if you root around in the old stuff, just keep in mind that it's old!

sometimes i reblog unicorns as they are a Personal Motif of mine, but pretty much all other reblogs go to my sideblog, @longlostpath

i have two other sideblogs - one for funky fashion and the intricacies of having a body @ishallwearcosmos

and a sky blog @whentheskydoesthething

🌿 WHAT ARE THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS?

this is my personal space and i decide what goes on here.

i block the following: people who engage in bad faith, people who disrespect my humanity or that of my peers, people acting awful on my posts.

i have no wish to publicly participate in the Discourses. do not mistake this for neutrality or a lack of principles - i feel very strongly about inclusion, compassion, boundaries, personal growth, the vast diversity of human experiences, and the inherent messiness of being a person. i enjoy good faith discussions, but i prefer to have them in private.

anonymous asks are turned off. if you send an ask you don't want me to publish, just let me know!

i do my best to tag common triggers but i cannot promise 100% consistency.

likewise, i do my best to write image descriptions for the art i post, but due to personal inacessibilities it's a little sporadic. i write them in the alt text when i do.

🌿 CAN I USE YOUR ART FOR -

headers/icons/digital decoration?

- yes! just please credit me somewhere. anything that's just fun personal use and not in any way profiting off of my work is a-ok! in fact i am flattered and honored

tattoos?

- please ask me first! a lot of my work is of OCs, commissioned, or otherwise very personal - so it's a case by case decision!

real life wall decoration?

- i do have a redbubble, but it's a little limited in scope - mostly because a lot of my work is fanart of other people's property. if there's something i've made you want to see on there, let me know and i'll see what i can do! as for fanart - i'm honestly okay with people printing their own prints for their personal blorbo shrines or whatever, as long as it's not for profit! if you contact me i can even share a hi-res version of the art with you ;3c

anything AI- or blockchain related?

- nope! any use of my work in this context is without my permission.

#art #digital art #meet the artist #the bogkeep #bogsona #new intro post <3 #image description in alt text

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limetameta · 2 years

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Prof I've never had before because I was always on an exchange when he was supposed to be my prof: Colleague Limeta, we finally meet

Me, admittedly a little rudely: Respected Prof, can I get my paper topic because I have a lot of responsibilities and would prefer to start as soon as possible? *in my head i'm still thinking about all the handymen business i gotta get up to and my business and my fanfics and my continuity and my foreshadowing which is my greatest passion*

Prof, very obviously feels like I've slighted him: Sure you can! Which is why I will give you this topic that's really niche :) Since you're a go-getter and want to do everything before its time, you can present next week.

Me, without missing a beat: Oh lit. Okay, thank you.

Prof, clearly not expecting me to just accept to do a whole paper and presentation in a week: And, you can research about *this even nicher* aspect, I'd be very interested to see what you can dig up. *fully aware that our country is on a good day inacessible when it comes to getting actual research documents, let alone for something like this that hasn't been relevant in years anyway*

Me: No, that's perfectly fine. There are a lot of sources for this topic.

Prof, now slightly perturbed: Yes, there are, but if you can't access them I'll be happy to send you additional literature.

Me: I don't think that will be necessary.

Prof: Most of this stuff is behind pay walls or in libraries, you know. They can't be taken out of the library. Unfortunately first editions are hard to come by.

Me: No, thank you. I've got this.

Prof: D: You will be graded on this, you know.

Me: Oh, yes, I look forward to it.

What he doesn't know is that the limeta home library is FILLED TO THE BRIM with books and journals and research textbooks on this VERY topic he gave me to research because half of them are written by my own mother lmaoooo.

#mado #i cant believe the luck i have with him hahahaha #my mom was like oh does he know you and i was like prolly nottt lmaoo he's never seen me until this year

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trollocs-ooc · 2 months

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Beforus typing quirks

Second types in red which is his favorite color, and as a way to protect the little privacy he has left. He doesn't want to hemotype. The double i's are meant to represent 2's, obviously. Types in lowercase mostly because he cant be bothered

Eleven has his alternian selfs old, more inacessible color, and replaces all i's and l's with 1, which is a lot harder to read compared to normal elevens text, which is typed specifically to be readable(even if it breaks his own quirk). Calls people nicknames and petnames unlike regular eleven who's self conscious and aware about that kind of thing

#talk #eileil naraal #riikii taavii #beforus!au

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bitchwhoreofastorm · 3 years

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25 + ayem + vehk for the one word thingy

25. Cooking

Month five of the war, they're knee-deep in the dreary slog somewhere between running down Barfok and peeling Hoag's zombies out of the Eastern peninsula with Kagrenac's metal men. Nerevar's encountered a problem relating to Ysmir's newfound habit of shouting armies wholesale off of hills whenever they claim the high ground, so he's called in the experts from Mournhold, though they must travel in secret to avoid Bhag's raiding-parties, and after Khizumet'e's betrayal only the most trusted can be permitted to know about the trip, and what this all translates to is: it's the crack of dawn on the Telvanni coast, the air cool and wet while a mist rises off the low volcanic hummocks all around them, and because most of their traveling-party is still asleep, Almalexia has taken it upon herself to make breakfast.

Yes, she's the Queen, and yes, she's never cooked for herself in her life (save one embarrassing incident during a childhood visit to Ald Sotha, wherein she set a loaf of bread on fire). But they've all been riding hard to answer Nerevar's summons in a timely manner, even the guar haven't yet roused from their near-catatonic slumber beneath a nearby Emperor Parasol, and only Almalexia, a habitual early-riser and often-insomniac, has woken with the sun. She's already sent the sentry to get a few hours of sleep, and the rest of her soldiers are still audibly snoring, and even Vivec, who somehow manages to be even more nervous and wakeful than she is, is dead to the world, curled tight into a ball back in their tent.

And Almalexia cannot bring herself to wake any of them. Well, it's not fair that Nerevar, newly-minted royalty, is already using his egregious powers to put them through this arduous overland trip, and even if they must be going soon Almalexia wants only to make their lives a little easier. So she, young woman with an incurable maternal streak that she is, has of course decided to cook them breakfast.

And how hard can it be, anyway? Kneeling in the damp soil, shivering slightly in the brisk new coolness of the early morning, Almalexia kindles the fire with magika and feeds it on some soft mushroom scraps she's collected from around the comatose guar. When the fire is nice and high, she eases in a cooking-pot. She's watched Sotha Sil prepare saltrice porridge a thousand times before-- a bag of grains, ample water-- so she finds the sack of saltrice they'd brought, dumps in a healthy amount (enough to halfway fill the small pot, she wants no-one going hungry), and then fills the rest of the pot with water.

Preparations made, all that is left for her is to sit back and wait for the saltrice to cook.

The morning is perfect, the air cool and clean. The Telvanni coast is beautiful: a halfway-dissolving cluster of archipelagos and stone spires, like handfuls of crushed pumice floating gently out to the inner sea. Their road through the fractured coastline has taken them over small wooden bridges and through winding canyons dry only at low tide; the region is inacessible to a large army but perfect for two travelers and their guards making their way north. They're at the very end of the shattered coast now, on a low rising hill that represents the start of the undulating basalt-flows which paves the rest of the way, but when one turns to look behind them they can see the labyrinth of eroding dykes and tall pillars rendered jagged and lonely by the encroaching silvery waves. To Almalexia, observing the scenery with half-closed eyes, it’s all very strange and very, very lovely. Settled back against one of the supply-packs, she looks towards the distant inner sea and lets her thoughts drift into a sleepy sort of contemplation.

The scent of cooking saltrice and the musky smoke of a mushroom-fire; the snoring and sleep-braying of overworked guar; the fresh coolness of mist on skin; the last stars twinkling into slumber; memories of the heady crop-smell of Deshaani fields pregnant with ripe wheat; memories of waking up with a mouthful of Ald Sotha sand; comfort; fullness after hunger; a meal cooking...

...

"... Ayem?"

Almalexia blinks and sits upright. The day has suddenly become much brighter. Vivec stands over her, but hir face is obscured by the sun now high behind them.

"Vehk," Almalexia murmurs, rubbing her eyes. Then, "Oh, did I fall asleep?"

"I think so," Vivec replies, kicking at the ground. Even sleepy and disheveled from the road, Almalexia thinks, ze manages to look like some spirit of legend, a guiding light sent down to Nirn by the ghost of Veloth himself. "Um."

"Hm?" Almalexia realises she's been staring and looks away. "Ah, forgive me, I must be tired!"

"It's not-- I mean to say--" Vivec tilts hir head towards the fire. "What's that?"

For a moment Almalexia fails to understand. Then she sees what Vivec's pointing at: her saltrice porridge has transformed itself into a pulsing amorphous mass and is crawling out of the pot.

Almalexia presses her hand to her mouth in horror. "My porridge!"

Vivec grins.

Then, Vivec laughs, a loud childish laugh that wakes the guar and electrifies Almalexia into leaping to her feet.

"Porridge!" Vivec shouts, as Almalexia lunges towards the fire. "That's porridge?-- wait, no, Ayem, don't go near it, it'll attack you!" Ze seizes Almalexia around the waist just as she makes a dive towards her beleaguered breakfast, pulling her back, pressing hir face to her shoulder and giggling hysterically.

"What happened to it?" Almalexia says despairingly, returning the embrace. "I just... don't laugh at me, Vehk, I was trying to make you breakfast!"

"What did you do to it? I think it's trying to make me into breakfast!"

"I don't know! It's just porridge! I added saltrice and water--"

"Saltrice expands when you cook it, didn't you know that?"

“No?” Helpless, Almalexia slumps into Vivec's arms and watches her kind gesture ooze disobediently out of its pot. Vivec is giggling still, clutching her, face pressed into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Vehk," Almalexia says weakly, "I didn't think it was possible to mess up porridge. It seemed like it would be easy."

"No, I-- I'm sorry for laughing at you-- it's okay, honest." By now the soldiers have awoken and are emerging from their tents, and Vivec, noticing, embarrassed, releases her. "We can use it to make saltrice-cakes if we just bake them."

"I think I should leave that to you," Almalexia replies, miserable. "I was once told that I'm cursed to destroy anything I touch, and I'm starting to believe it."

Vivec, smiling still, takes Almalexia’s hand in one of hir own. Ze raises it and presses her palm flat against hir cheek.

"Well," ze says after a moment. "I feel fine. So come help me cook."

#almalexia #vivec #fic

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siren-of-redriver96 · 4 years

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Something I noticed only recently:

Right after this scene and Newt going home, Grimmson talks to Guzman, Travers and Spielman.

When he asks if this means he’s got the job, they all look noticably uncomfortable.

Which is kind of a big deal - this is the american ambassador (and the US, as we know, is no joke when it comes to death sentences, cutting out tounges and even entire states which, according to the map, are deadly/inacessable in some way), the head admin of the department for magical law enforcement (who, as we hear, is pretty rigourous when it comes to keeping up order) and the head of incarceration of the international wizarding confederation.

Point being, these men have seen stuff - yet this bounty hunter somehow makes them nervous.

Don’t know if it’s because technically, they’re straying from the law they all execute, a comment on people in power agreeing to morally questionable methods to make ends meet (for a greater good XD) - or if there’s something about him that scares even them...

I wa nna know more!!

Edit:

I found it.

When using a shield against Credence, not even him could get through - and we know his powers are stronger than that of most wizards, even a challenge for those known as very powerful.

Yet not for him. If he can make himself untouchable to Credence, it should work against even highly skilled ministry staff.

That’s why they’re scared of him. He can’t be controlled - because let’s face it, if he can conjure up a shield that doesn’t even crack when an obscurial and 1/2 of an attic is thrown at him, he probably can conjure by hand too, so disarming him is pointless...

They don’t like working with him because, even if he gets the job done, they are as much aware as him of the fact that he could turn his powers against them if he felt like it - of course, he likes to get payed, but still.

They needed him in particular to move against Credence, but they're not happy they do.

#fantastic beasts #the crimes of grindelwald #fantastic beasts grimmson

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kulvefaggoth · 5 years

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HI THIS IS YOUR LOCAL GARBAGE GAY BOY AND HE WANTS TO VENT ABOUT KINGDOM HEARTS

A couple of days ago i had an enligtening talk about my favorite hot garbage series with a mutual and i kind of ended up realizing i had a lot of pent up stuff about it that i never really let out

While i did vent a little already i feel like i need to put this really out of my head because it’s been consuming me in a way. And since this site is designed for just screaming random stuff into the void i wanna take advantage of that for once

Now first and foremost this is meant as a very personal thing. This is not an elaborate critique or a well thought work. This is a vent and i want this to be read as a vent by a gay with a lot of feelings about video games. ESPECIALLY about Kingdom Hearts and some stuff about KH3.

Now let’s get to the meat of this course of mind screaming

I’ve been into Kingdom Hearts for a very long time. The first game i played was Kingdom Hearts II (the original KH was kinda hard to find here for some reason) circa 2005/2006. Bear in mind i had no idead what KH was. Game advertisement wasn’t (and still kind of isn’t) a big thing here in Brasil specially if you were a poor kid like me. Hell consoles were pretty inacessible to most of the people i was close with and me and other 2 kids must’ve had a PS2 in the same time frame. The main way you would know about new or cool games was through word of mouth or recognizing brands like Castlevania and Mega Man.

But i was always kind of a freaky little avant-garde child which meant i ended up having a very different taste from most of the people around me. I had like 1 other friend who had actually played a Final Fantasy around let alone something like Shin Megami Tensei for an exemple which i also didn’t even knew was a thing. And i’ve always tried to find something new. Something that gave me some new experience. I’ve ended up playing a lot of more niche games like Drakengard and the Atelier Iris games (god i still love 2 and 3 a lot) and it was this mindset that eventually led me into the game that had a bunch of random anime kids and disney characters in it’s cover.

To say that i was confused by KH2 is an understatement. I knew absolutelly nothing about the previous games. Who is this “Sora”? Who was the red haired man? Why the fuck am i fighting with a giant key? Again what the hell is up with the Disney characters? Also bear in mind i must’ve been 9/10 yo brazillian kid whose entire english vocabulary came from video games and a couple of songs. Some stuff wasn’t even the plot getting dense it was just me not getting the actual language.

And yet it’s also an understatement to say the i fell very deeply in love with that weird little game. The combat was great. The plot had SO MUCH DRAMA and i knew only about 1/3 of what was happening at any given time. Keyblades where fun and ridiculous. Demyx was a bitch.

As soon as i’ve finished KH2 for the first time i used what little internet i had back then to learn more. I found out there was a game for the easy emulated GBA. It kind of sucked but it was more Kingdom Hearts. Being unable to locate a copy of KH1 for a while i did the only thing i could actually do: i’ve played and replayed KH2 to exaustion. I did most of the stuff except a couple of the minigames and gummy routes because they where boring. The feeling of learning how to fight against Sephiroth, mastering his moves and eventually being able to beat him with a Kingdom Key in proud was a big moment for me. Beating all the Hades cups felt great.

About a year later i was able to get a copy of KH1 and by this time Re:CoM was out so i got that too. Played both of them throughly even thought KH1 clumsy mechanics kick my ass to this day probably.

Then another year passes i hear two new games where coming out... to consoles i didn’t own and honestly i couldn’t justify the cost of to my parents. I was pretty bummed but still i kept getting invested. Hell i was already balls deep into this series and only dreamed of how it would take off in the future. I even remember kind of writing a “script” for a sequel that i tried to make with two other randoms in RPG Maker. Never went anywhere and i know in my heart it sucked but still. That was how into this i was. The prerelease hype for Days was killing me even. Member XIV? How?

Also side note: to my edgy ass 12/13 year old self the idea of playing as Organizattion XIII was literally a dream.

Days came out and if you where like me in the good old days of youtube videos that had like 5 minutes at max then you know that video game let’s play were almost impossible to do. I had to get a LOT of info from second hand about what actually happened in Days. Then i ended up getting a “decent” pc and was able to emulate it with absolute WORST frame rate. Still it worked and i was able to know what was happening.

But BBS was a completly separate beast. PSP emulation was basically non-existant when it came out so it actually took me a couple of years to actually play it. I had a friend that had a PSP (and that to this day i feel only got a PSP because i kept raving about it having both a KH game and a Final Fantasy fighting game on it because he was 100% that little shit but that is completly besides any point) and of course he couldn’t lend me because it was pretty expensive around here and that’s a very useless tangent.

Anyway time passes as it must and just as Sora fell deeper and deeper into the realms of sleep i too fell into as much Kingdom Hearts stuff as i could. The complex theories, the AMVs (GOD the AMVs), the plot summaries for games i didn’t play, all that good shit. So for years i’ve built within myself this... tension i shall call. The grand plot momentum that mr Nomura seemed to be building. The misterious indentities the hinted at hidden plots. The nature of stuff that seemed very vague and opaque. And as the new games where released it seemed more and more that they where building blocks into the grand prize: Kingdom Hearts 3.

Now here’s the thing. I don’t 100% agree of the narrative that we waited “13 years” for KH3. I think if you where actually a fan of the series back then then each game in it’s own way seemed to be it’s own event. With that i want to say the while we ALL waited for KH3 for me at least it seemed it needed time to build up.

Now here’s the thing. Between BBS and DDD being both in consoles i didn’t own and me getting an Xbox 360 (PS3 prices where absolutelly INSANE here) i seemed to drift a bit away from KH. While before i waited for new game releases with baited breath i now found myself very blasé about DDD. I was getting used to it i guess. Also high school came and a lot of stuff started changing. KH felt like a bit too connected to my childhood too i guess. I was still a fan and still loved it to death but KH ended fading away a little for me even if it lighted a fire in me when people talked about it. This must’ve been around 2010.

I think it wasn’t until KH3 was formally announced that it all came back to me. The drive to find and consume and engage with as much of KH lore and theories as possible. Also i didn’t really get into “proper social networks” as a whole until 2012/2013. Weirdo i know. By then consuming these thing was a lot easier. Internet was a lot more acessible. I could just open up a tab of a KH wiki in my phone and read away from there.

And there was this rush y’know. This thing of finally seeing a finish line. Not that actually expected or even wish for KH to end but it was KH3! The big one! And remember the tension i’ve mentioned earlier? It was always kind of present and it ended up skyrocketing during this period. I was already knowledgeable about KH but during this time i was almost a goddamn lore master. I knew the whole gig inside and out. Even the weird shit from DDD. The stuff they added to the collections just kept it going too. As did X/UX (which in my grand KH tradition i too didn’t play but i think most people feel me here).

All a big ball of complex yarn and plot and madness that would SURELLY burst with KH3. After all this time all this tension it would come. Release. Answers.

But to me that was the aspect in which KH3 failed.

Now don’t get me wrong i actually like KH3. Quite a lot. And Nomura did apparently tied up a lot of arcs. The lost are found and saved. Piss Grandpa Xehanort is dead.

But it didn’t release my tension. It didn’t burst it into the magic fireworks and ecstasy. The tension is still here. Hell the tension seems even stronger now.

And a lot of it has to with how KH3 seems to still be hiding so many fucking cards from us. Literally in one case. It was a vague feeling of unceartainty before but when i came through the Sleeping Worlds theory it just RUSHED onto me. The story doesn’t feel complete.

Now this is not the same as FFXV. I have a couple of... harsh opinions about it and it’s plot and story are front and center on the list. That story was absolutelly unfinished but not in the same way. To me it feels like Nomura just HID parts of the story. We are not getting the full picture. A lot of shit is really really REALLY weird. I’m still not over Riku’s sudden haircut.

But here’s the real gag to me. Nier: Automata gave me the same feeling the first time i played it. But then i came upon route B. And then Route C. and that’s when the TRUE game showed itself. Nier kept a lot hidden but it was hidden within itself. If you just keep playing you actually can access those hidden parts and eventually you reach your true goal. The actual ending. An ending so final that you might even like giving up your save data to help somebody else achieve it too is the only true option.

Yet KH3 has no such crowning grace. At least not for now. And that’s half the reason i made this.

KH3 feels incomplete but in a way i could really love if the game eventually completed itself. Reading the Sleeping Worlds theory i was like “omg this makes VERY much sense. but if it makes so much sense why isn’t it in the game?”. And then it clicked. DLC. It’s 100% possible the actual plot may come as DLC.

But an even darker thought crossed my mind and it’s filing me with actual rage: This is meant to be another game. This is the Powers That Be (Nomura, Disney, Square-Enix, take your pick...) unaturally extending this “Saga” beyond it’s ending point. If it does turn out that KH3 had some dream hijinks going on then it was 100% possible and BETTER to include that in the actual game. But since KH is known for having so many side games what is the harm in doing another right?

Well you harm the integrity of your plot. I know we say the plot is hot garbage but come the fuck on that is what is holding us here. Or at least it’s what is holding me for so long. Setting up another saga is absolutelly fine but breaking away for you ending like this is even worse. How? Why? The why is probably money but still.

Or maybe KH3 is just meant as that. There is no twist not weirdness. Maybe all that is by design y’know.

This is long enough already. I’m tired. I started writing this at 2:30 am. It’s about 4am now. I slept very little last night.

This is a big colletion of nothing i guess. Not even sure it helped me. Oh well.

#kh #kingdom hearts #personal #first time i tagged something as that #idk #maybe i'm just old #i'm not even gonna proof read this it know it's chock full of typos

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uiruu · 6 years

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i dont know the academic and philosophic and ideological terms for SHIT

but i know what i believe in, i know whats important to me

reading what other people said 150 years ago wont change that, itll just give more a better understanding of how to put into words what i already believe

or maybe help me find a belief that i didnt know i had, but that rings true with whats important to me. like imagine i never considered anarchism, but have always been against authority and shit, and so when i read about anarchism i was like “wooooahhh yeah that makes a lot of sense, i dig that”

like thats not a new belief i picked up, its just a new word for a belief i already have

i kinda think most people are like this, more people are socialists and communists and anarchists than realize it, and if they learned about that stuff they’d find it rings true with everything they value

so i dont think there is any required reading to be a leftist, in as much as i would never say “oh you havent read the entirety of karl marx’s capital? pshh fake leftist” because fuck man i havent and i never will. but i think its at least important to be always open to learn about everything in the world, and in this instance its important to at least learn about the various beliefs that are out there, so you can figure out where your innate gut sense is pointing you. i havent read all of the conquest of bread, but ive read like half of it (tho idk how much stuck with me) and ive read a LOT about it, and read a lot of opinions people have on it, and i keep up to date on current events and follow people who are fans of kropotkin and so see a lot of news and issues framed in an anarcho-communist way, so like............

ive been called anti-intellectual by some hardcore marxist-leninists (an identity i know just enough about to know its NOT for me) and their responses are always like “oh you think reading is bad? peak anarchist” or some shit

but isnt that kind of anti-intellectual of them? to say that unless you’ve read all the books on their fucking incomprehensible out-of-date fucking european-as-hell reading list, you cant have an opinion? thats bullshit. i dont like referencing logical fallacies cause it makes you sound like an asshole but isnt that some hardcore appealing to authority? karl marx isnt important to me other than that he said some stuff i guess i pretty much agree with. he said some stuff i didnt agree with either. though, maybe his use of the phrase “dictatorship of the proletariat” is sort of a poor phrasing and i’d have a different opinion on it if he used a different word than dictatorship. but anyway, like, marx and engels and even kropotkin and stirner and bookchin and goldman and all these names people love to throw around...

i saw this tweet that sums it up

their names carry no extra weight with me. they’re just people who wrote stuff in the past. they’re comrades and people of a similar viewpoint to my own, but not heroes.

this got longer than i wanted but my point is this: if they said something i agree with, then i agree with it. if they said something i disagree with, i dont have to try to like it just because they’re the all-important patriarchs and founding fathers of anti-capitalism. to say that only they hold the keys to knowledge is anti-intellectual. a person who doesnt speak any of the languages that their books have ever been translated into, and who has never heard of their names, could come to the same conclusions about what is the best way to take care of each other. are you gonna say that theyre irrelevant because they cant recite the opening lines of the communist manifesto?

reading is good, reading is fine, but learning is more important. i do most of my learning not by reading long texts, because that’s not really an option for me. but i do the best with what i can do, and im open to the fact that i dont know everything and i want to always be learning. to say that theres only one way to learn a thing is just flat-out wrong. its not that im against reading these sacred texts, its that im against elitism. im against people telling me my beliefs arent valid because marx said this and mao said that.

that kind of reverence for authority is exactly why im not a marxist-leninist.

i know what i’m about and i dont need anyone else to try to tell me what i should or shouldnt think, i am against the idea that only those central figures understand it well enough and all your understanding should be gotten through them

this is why people say socialism and communism are hard to get into. because they actively push people out. even the fucking words “bourgeois and proletariat” are fucking bourgeois as hell, ironically. thats pretty fucking inacessible for people who hadnt ever heard those words before and especially cant pronounce them. it makes you sound arrogant to talk about dialectics this and vanguardism that and shit. those ideas are still important things to understand at least what they mean, but they can be expressed a lot easier in simple language.

this is a mess and i dont feel like cleaning it up. i’ll probably make similar posts phrased better later because this is something important to me. i strive to always try to find the simplest way to express these ideas because thats vitally important.

anyway, fuck your heroes

#maybe i should do a 30 minute video fuckin hbomberguy style

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zxll · 4 years

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IF YOU DONT WANT ABORTIONS THEN DONT FUCKING GET ONE. DONT. GET. ONE. DONT FORCE OTHER PEOPLE TO HAVE INACESS TO THME BECAUSE YOU DONT AGREE WITH THEM. THEY ARE MEDICALLY NECESSARY AND NOT ALL WOMEN PLAN ON GETTING PREGNANT AT A CERTAIN TIME OR EVEN AT ALL. I CANNOT SAY THIS ENOUGH.

DONT FORCE PEOPLE TO BE PREGNANT WHEN THEY DONT WANT TO BE

it’s so sick and twisted and rooted in the idea that it’s better for you and “God” will be angry if you get one. if your whitewashed so called “God” made everything on this earth, the he made choice. he made women. he made abortion. he wanted these to exist for a reason. period motherfuckers.

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eviloneills-blog · 7 years

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The Vitally Important Ling/Alma Coffee Shop AU

Before the Devil Breaks You BROKE ME, alright? Give me an outlet for my pain. This fandom needs so many more fluffy fics!

There were a number of things Ling Chan hated. There were the obvious ones: inacessable buildings, creeps in bus stations, weird items in grocery stores with “oriental” in the name, the tacky shamrock crap her relatives seemed to spread across every surface every march. There were the less obvious ones: manspreaders in public transport, skirts without pockets, the inability of Hollywood to ever make a movie with actual Asian leads, the sizing system at Starbucks and the transliteration of Gaelic into Latin letters, both of which were systems seemingly designed to be as incomprehensible as humanly possible.

And then there were people that were late.

Ling checked her phone again. 9:47. Damn. Memphis was 17 minutes late. Already her annoyance was peaked. Time was wasting, and she still had her shift at the restaurant and a major exam to study for. (Which she may have put off in studying for favor of watching an Iron Man rerun at 1 a.m. this morning. Maybe.) And it wasn’t like Memphis to be late, unless something was up with Isaiah. Usually he was steadfastly, boringly punctual. Usually.

And there was absolutely nothing like being stranded alone in Starbucks, halfheartedly sipping an overpriced frappucino (flavored with some bullshit like toasted caramel graham cracker coconut spice, because white people really couldn’t stop themselves) and waiting for Facebook to refresh. Which felt stalkerish, even if it was just to sift through the multilingual cyber-bitching of her approximately billion relatives to see the photos Henry uploaded. (The most recent featured him making out with David during Mardi Gras.)

She checked the time again. 9:52. Maybe something was up with Isaiah. She bent over her phone and was about to make a series of urgent texts when a voice called from across the crumb-y table.

“Are you Ling Chan?”

Ling almost choked on her drink.

Because standing across from her was The World’s. Most. Beautiful. Woman.

Ling had a considerable number of celebrity crushes, a list containing but not limited to Elodie Yung, Zoe Saldana, Felicity Jones, and Golshifteh Farahani. (Seriously. A lot. Why did ladies have to be so pretty?). But all of them, all the glossy film actresses at premiers and in gossip magazines, paled in comparison to This Girl.

Because Holy Fucking Shit.

This girl was tall. Muscled. Ling thought she might have been a dancer. She had on a beaded crop top that sparkled against her dark skin and high-waisted white shorts that were probably created by God as a Personal Attack on Ms. Ling Saorise Chan, turquoise sunglasses and a heart-shaped cross body bag.

She smiled, and it could have lit up all of the Lower East Side, Ling fucking swore.

“Uhh, yeah.” She answered. She could already feel her cheeks heating up and felt unduly subconscious, with her old t-shirt (favorite due to the giant “STEMINIST” logo on the front and the incredibly soft fabric, but also home to some weird stains) and battered backpack. “I’m Chan. Ling Chan. That’s me.”

World’s Most Beautiful Woman held out her hand. “I’m Alma. Memphis’s friend. He mention i might be joining your charming company?”

“Uhhhhm.” Ling racked her mind. “No.”

Alma laughed, and Ling just about died. Right there. In Starbucks. Sandwiched between a table full of ancient men complaining about the weather on one side and a young mom chasing her toddler around with a juice pouch on the other. Fuck.

“Just like Memphis, eh? I love that boy, but he’s got his head in the clouds half the time. Always thinking of some kind of new poem, you know?”

Ling nodded. She did know.

“But he didn’t tell me he had such a lovely friend!”

That would have been Ling’s death right then and there if her phone hadn’t buzzed. “SRY I CAN’T MAKE IT URGENT SCHLRSHIP SHIT meet up later??? TTYL” Followed by a row of emojis. Of course.

Alma’s phone buzzed and Ling realized Memphis must have sent her the same text.

“What a move of him to make us both come to this Starbucks and then bailing.” Alma sat down in a huff.

“I guess.” Ling was annoyed by Memphis but not the situation. ‘So I guess it’s just you and me, then?”

#before the devil breaks you #the diviners #ling chan #ling x alma #wlw tag #GOD I NEED MORE OF THEM ALRIGHT?????

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transparentcreatorfart-blog1 · 7 years

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albameira · 7 years

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Final Fantasy XV : Hardcore Indepth Review

Final Fantasy XV : Hardcore Indepth Review By: Terrence T. Watson / Samurai

[This is Final Fantasy XV's title screen.] Introduction: Final Fantasy XV is the 15th Installment within the main continuity of final fantasy titles. ( Not Including its Various Spinoffs titles such as Tactics and Type-0. For example. ) Final Fantasy XV Takes place in the wonderful world of Eos and offers a wide rich and mesmerizing experience into the wonderful world that the game is known for. However for me personally? This game while given the presentation and content that we got? Personally I feel like it's a solid game on its own but even then you know that the game as a whole is still missing enough content to warranty the fans disdain then you know your not working with a total package here. Now given the amount of time it took to release this title to begin with personally I believe the fans are justified in feeling a little bit embittered but at least the Producer is doing something about it. [Final Fantasy XV's Narrative is focused upon Noctis's Crew.] Story: Final Fantasy XV is the story of Noctis Lucis Caelum as he and his three friends Prompto , Ignis and Gladiolus go on a quest to strike back against the empire that took everything for them, Personally within this story itself? It sounds to be quite exicting and riviting however? This would be the case if the entire story was still packaged within the game itself. Now there are several hype points within the game. But the fact that there are so few and far in between it really leaves much to be desired. As an overall point within the games story and lore? I personally feel that the game delivers but the execution was not delivered as hard as it should have been. Enough to have the games producers revamp certain chapters speaks volumes on that. But its a story worth playing if you can really look beyond all of the flaws the game currently has. [Final Fantasy XV's gameplay feels a lot like Star Ocean 2 with its battle mechanics.] Gameplay: The gameplay of Final Fantasy XV is decent within itself though to me? I personally felt being a fan of several previous Final Fantasy's that I found the magic system within Final Fantasy XV to be a bit redundant to the point of being remedial at best. Not to mention the fact that summons and usage of summons is limited to RNG at best. ( They randomly are summonable if the player forfills certain requirements. ) Personally? I find that to be a bit of a turn off but overall the game plays like a real time version of what a final fantasy game plays like. Coming from The Star Ocean 2 The Second Story school of gaming? I personally like FFXV's battle system but if I had a personal gripe about it? Touch up that magic system its easily the worst part about the gameplay. [Personally? I've gotten the most fun playing out of customizing the Regalia.] Fun Factor: Personally The game as a whole is fun but for me persay? Playing The Final Fantasy XV Judgement Disc Demo? Its pretty much playing the same thing in english for the full version with a little bit of area's added in. Personally to me that is not cool also the fact that at a certain point in the game a certain city is inacessible as in the entire area leading up to it is closed off which makes travelling back to that area a bit redundant overall. Also I personally felt the map should have been a lot bigger than it should. Also a certain optional dungeon which the game treats as a jump quest dungeon is very unforgiving but the reward is worth the challenge so there are things for you to do even after you beat the game overall. Personal Likes [Even though at first glance The Regalia is just a car it's a literal Batmobile in Final Fantasy.] My Personal Likes are listed below The Graphics - Honestly this game is beautiful. The Story - The parts that are available is nice. The Lore - The stuff not in the game is heavy. The OST - The soundtrack is phenominal. Personal Dislikes [Lucis as a map feels way too small compared to other RPGs.] My Personal Dislikes are listed below The DLC - It should have been in the game. The Cut Content - They removed a lot of stuff. The Rushed Presentation - They rushed this game. The Lack Of Cities - Seriously add more of them. [I'll give Final Fantasy XV this Umbra is a unique way to travel. ] Final Score: Final Fantasy XV is a game that has a lot of promise and still does. From a gamers point of view and as a gamer who brought the season pass for final fantasy XV I'd treat this game like a broken Jigsaw Puzzle at best. While certain pieces are within the game? A good portion of them are not within the game as well. Its something that needs some serious fine tuning to be an overall finished piece. But for now if I was to equate this game to something. It would be the same as asking someone to get a pepperoni and sasusage pizza but only get the Pepperoni's in return. Final Fantasy XV truly feels like that so I cannot give the game a 10 for what it does right but I cannot take away too much for what it got wrong as well. I also cannot give them a 9 because what they did do right was not enough to save the game but instead only add to the game. This is because a good portion of the plot was missing and there were characters in the story you knew nothing about but they still had screentime and zero relevance to the story despite being main antagonists. ( Verstael is a prime example of this ) and there still exists areas in which you personally still cant access within the finished product. Factoring all of that in? Final Fantasy XV gets an 8.6/10. Maybe when they put everything in it can rise higher but until then its a 8.6/10 [Even at the end of the game. There is still stuff for you to do in Final Fantasy XV.] Final Fantasy XV personally? And this is my honest opinion on the subject the game offers a LOT and it does offer a lot but it does not provide core area's that should have been fully acessible to the game like. Insomnia? Despite leaving in the beginning there should have been a core area in the game you could have explored during its prime. That personally and with this being a Final Fantasy game? I personally feel that there are more gas stations than actual towns in the game. If you really wish to know how many towns that are in this game that YOU can access? It's one major town ( Altissa ) one small town ( Lestallum ) and its smaller counterpart. ( Old Lestallum ) and one resturant / pit stop ( Hammer Head ) outside of the games final dungeon ( Insomnia ) which is treated more so like a dungeon town than an actual town. Not even Cape Caem is considered to be a town since that is a house on a hill and a lighthouse Everything else is a gas station or a pit stop. Personally I get it it's a road trip simulator but they should have added more cities for you to visit in between all of that. That is just how I see it and how I'm cutting it down the center for what its worth Final Fantasy XV as it stands now is a good game. But it will be an even better game once they're done with all of the upgrades. ~ Samurai

#Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy XV #ps4 #The Tester #Samurai #AlbaMeira #Terrence T. Watson #Game Review #Freelance

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