#And that's clearly the only appealing thing about it 😏 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eegasleega-will-change-this-l8r · 1 month

Text

WELL I WAS PLANNING ON PLAYING CELESTE THIS EVENING BUT INSTEAD I WILL NOW DEVOTE IT ENTIRELY TO INDULGING MY HYPERFIXATION

IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR A PORKY POST

Are Ness and Porky Friends...?

Let's talk about that 😏

First things first, I think this single moment from the beginning of the game is by FAR the most important thing to consider when thinking about how Ness and Porky's relationship is presented to us

Right at the start, when you make your way up to the meteorite, you will encounter the cops and their blockade This also serves as our first introduction to our wonderful neighbor, Porky Minch, who is currently making a nuisance of himself trying to get up to the meteorite, much to the cops' chagrin

One of the cops asks if we could help deal with Porky, and asks this vital question:

What's Ness's answer? Yes!

...or no.

I cannot understate how obsessed with this I am. Ness can't say whether or not Porky is really his friend. This is something he's unable to answer on his own. I really think this is a fantastic way to introduce Porky to the player. If he is Ness's friend... it doesn't seem like he's a very good one.

Now shortly after this, Porky begs for Ness's help in finding Picky. We get a pretty good look at Porky's character here. He's obnoxious, rude, doesn't take responsibility for his actions, and above all is pretty meek and cowardly. Now, I think some people go a little far in interpreting him as "bad" here. Porky's undeniably a jerk even now, but he's still just a kid, and a pretty pathetic one at that. If you look on the Earthbound wiki, you'll see that his age is listed as 14. As far as I'm aware, this only has one source, being Saori Kumi's Earthbound novelization. If you know even the slightest thing about this book, you will understand how ludicrous it is to use this as a source. Porky's age is never specified ingame, but I think his overall presentation implies that he should be the same age as Ness. It's fairly well-known that Ness's age is given as 13 in the American guide, but 12 in Japanese. 12 is also the age given in, again, Saori Kumi's novelization, unfortunately I don't know if this is stated elsewhere. It can also be noted that Shigesato Itoi has actually said he never thought of a specific age for Ness, just that he had his daughter in mind who at this time was in grade 4 or 5. So this gives us a range that could be as old as 13 or as young as 9. Personally, I skew toward 11-12 for how I envision the characters. In any case, Porky's clearly very young, so you really have to keep that in mind when considering... kinda everything about him, actually. But in this instance, it really contextualizes the stuff he says. For example, if you say no to him when he asks for your help, he threatens to "say something that'll cut you like a knife." I think it's silly to take this seriously (i've even heard someone describe it as Porky blackmailing Ness). He's clearly just gonna call Ness some mean name or something. ...Except he doesn't. Say no to him again, and he'll immediately deflate.

Porky is in no way a bully. He's annoying, but he's pretty lousy at being intimidating. Instead, his favorite way of getting what he wants is to appeal to others' sympathy. He's relying on Ness to help him by virtue of being "his bestest friend." Or think of his actions in battle: smiling insincerely, apologizing profusely, pretending to cry. He plays up being a sweet innocent kid whenever he's in trouble.

So, I think the picture we've painted is of a kid who's sort of a jerk, and tricks others to get what he wants. It becomes pretty clear why Ness isn't sure if he can really call Porky his friend.

...But what about Porky's side? Is he really only pretending to like Ness for his own gain, or are his own feelings much more complicated?

First off, just some minor things. While Porky leaves a pretty bad, if not altogether inaccurate first impression, there's a few things in his dialogue that speak to him thinking of Ness as more than just 'that loser who thinks we're friends.'

He promises that he'll tell Ness all about the meteorite in the morning. Probably this'd be in his typically boastful Porky-fashion, but even so, this shows that he wants to share things with Ness.

It's easy to miss because most people playing Earthbound have played A Video Game's before, and also tend not to ignore directions the game is clearly telegraphing, but Porky will actually give you advice if you're not properly prepared.

If you don't grab the Cracked Bat:

You're not taking anything on our big adventure? Why don't you look around for your Cracked bat or something?

Taking the bat but not equipping it:

Sorry about giving you this game-type advice, but you should equip your weapon! Do you know what "equip" means?

Yes:

Okay, that's good. Be sure to pay attention to details like that.

No:

It means "use" or "wear." You must equip items in order to use or wear them. "Equip" is used a lot in games like this, but you already knew that...

Finally, not answering your dad:

The phone is ringing! Answer it! At my house, my dad gets bent if I don't get the phone... within the first three rings!

These aren't anything groundbreaking, but they do show how Porky acts with Ness in casual contexts, plus how the game presents Porky surprisingly neutrally in the beginning, rather than just immediately telegraphing him as the villain. Also, nobody's seen these so hey, some obscure trivia for you.

Finally, Porky's reaction to hearing the prophecy is pretty telling of the kind of character Porky is pre-Giygas. He just talks about how much trouble Ness is in now, how he hopes he doesn't have to come, and how freaked out he is. I think this sums him up pretty well. He's the meek comic-relief friend character. Sniff from Moomin, for example. Or go watch Monster House, because Chowder is literally exactly Porky.

But none of that is super juicy. Let's dive into something juicy. This little bit murdered my brother when we got to it in our playthrough.

A quick detour to Magicant...

Ness... I envy you. You have all the luck. I have no luck. Ness... well, okay... Let's be friends forever, alright?

still hurts

Yeah so first off, I think this totally clears up Ness's feelings towards Porky. He can't say if they're really friends... But he WANTS them to be.

This is Ness's vision of Porky, the Porky he used to know before Giygas corrupted him, and the one he wishes was still around.

But even if this is just a manifestation of Ness's consciousness, I think it also gives us a look into Porky's inner self. This is what Ness sees in Porky, the confession that Porky is too insecure to say out loud. He hides it behind all his boasting and rudeness, but he really, really wants to keep his friendship with Ness.

Well.

If only.

Let's get to MOTHER 3.

This game gives us SO much more of Porky's character, and it's all sooooo deep. I cannot understate how much I hate seeing Porky reduced to 'that Eric Cartman kid who is an absolutely irredeemable suchnsuch.' King P is the culmination of a lot of aspects of Porky's character arc (you think this post is long, it's only the first of many more...), but one of the most prominent aspects is his unbelievably, painful, PATHETIC loneliness. This kid... man... is so desperate for a friend after he left the only person who ever wanted to connect with him that he literally brainwashes a whole city's worth of people into loving him.

And of course that's not enough, because all he wants is his next-door neighbor, his good buddy, his bestest friend Ness.

In closing, are Ness and Porky friends? It's complicated. Both clearly, desperately want to be. They have a history, they know each other intimately, by Itoi's own words they literally grew up playing together. But, for a number of reasons (that I've thought all too much about...), Porky just can't help but make it difficult. I'd sum it up by listening to the song that plays during Earthbound's cast credits. In the end, there are good friends, and...

#earthbound #mother 3 #mother series #porky minch #pokey minch #ness earthbound #emilyramblings #and holy fudge do i ramble #i just cannot shut up when it comes to porky minch #and there's so much i still need to talk about...

84 notes · View notes

zoobus · 3 years

Text

I haven't talked about this in forever but I feel like Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is one of those shows that I'm not capable of "getting" it's primary appeal in that I can explain what I found enjoyable, even great about it, things that clearly became influential in shounen and anime in the past decade, things that are unique about it in a good way.

But none of those things are, afaict, why it's popular. much of what make it stand out to me are either skipped over or dismissed in a way that suggests others didn't notice these things? And yes I'm talking about the gayness and immense horniness in the show, like if you haven't watched it, only heard from fans, you'd probably have this idea of it being like "oho😏 these sweaty musclefreaks sure keep finding reasons to wrestle and stare in each other's eyes😏" kind of gay.

And the reality is like, Jojo would not be allowed at Pride. Off the top of my head, here are some choice moments that made me say "wow so they just let you show niche fetish porn on tv now? That's allowed? But they censor the violence?"

The boot worship/boot licking episode

The one where the guy was on a horse and looked like he was getting railed

At least 3 instances of petrification, the description of each all with the energy of someone very close. "He wished to die, but was unable to. So eventually he stopped thinking" as his hardened body floats through space... Like is this too obscure to pick up on? I didn't need to hear the "beautiful men suffering" quote to note that being TF'd into a sentient but unable to communicate rock comes up a lot

TF kink in general is a recurring theme

Polnareff's entire existence

Female stand antagonists exist only to emphasize male suffering. The old lady who s l o w l y forces polneroff to lick that dirty toilet. Mariah.

Do you remember when the preview for the Mariah episode was like, mega hyping her up? Like men were gagging in the street at how hot she was, the whole preview is just an assertion that this woman is so hot, so sexy, the ultimate femme fatale, we know this show is gay so we got something for our straight fans next ep ;) and what was that next episode? Mariah and her Forced Gay Stand. Half the shit in that preview straight up didn't happen. I was losing my mind when I watched this like not only did they intentionally mislead the audience into thinking this would be about a sexy girl doing sexy things, this episode was bar none the most blatant, the most "was the dude who normally reigns you in sick that day??" episode of the season. They said there would be hot big breasted women to trick as many ignorant views into seeing the look on Joseph's face as it's slowly dragged down Avdol's chest to his cock.

Voyeurism because Mariah enjoyed watching and making other people watch. The writers also do this to the audience.

I don't know why this sets me off every time but I have to be that guy. This show isn't fucking Top Gun. It's not homoerotic because there's sweaty muscle dudes in it. It's gay because it's m/m softcore fetish kink specifically and at times that seems to be what's driving the plot.

#nsft #jojo's bizarre adventure #you guys sound like 'haha it's so crazy how this woman kept drawing clumsy giantess amazons who keep falling on the protags face😂'#'and then having her describe the smell in depth LMAOOO she made this world so gay without even noticing🤣🤣🤣'#this is one of those dumb hills we all have #to die on

221 notes · View notes

bloody-wonder · 2 years

Text

the game of kings: a queer reading

hello, tiny fandom! i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me :D but nooo i have been quietly re-reading gok once again which brings the total amount of the times i’ve read it to an impressive 3.5 (0.5 is bc this last time i read it in russian but then re-read all the lymond scenes additionally in english bc i couldn’t help myself🙈). i have also read laura caine ramsey’s guide as well as every piece of secondary literature on the lymond chronicles i could get my hands on which makes me a nerd an expert and today i decided to grace you with a kind of post i honestly wish someone with a degree in literature and queer studies would have written instead but since such a person hasn’t volonteered so far we’ll have to make do with what i’ve scribbled in here. this post was inspired by my irl friend who has been buddy reading gok with me almost entirely out of free will and who informed me that she “doesn’t see the homoerotic subtext”. we then had an enlightening conversation that revealed differences in understanding of what subtext actually means and provoked many thoughts which i just had to write down somewhere. i’m fully aware that by posting this on tumblr i’m preaching to the choir but please bear with me, especially given that i’ll be talking not only about lymond’s relationship with one pathetic maladroit nincompoop but with mixt and subtle christian as well.

i tried to keep this spoiler free for the rest of the series but one or two vague things might have slipped through. also, i couldn’t be concise if my life depended upon it so it’s basically a whole treatise, you have been warned😬

sooooo i do hope it is a truth universally acknowledged that lymond cronicle gay. but in what way is it gay exactly? especially the first book which doesn’t have robin stewart, gabriel, jerott and marthe, not even danny hislop, and is very subdued in its references to same-sex love and desire in comparison to the later installments - where does it store its queer subtext? in this essay i will undertake the noble mission of finding out :D

a couple of introductory remarks before we start: first of all, i’m fully aware that assigning modern labels to historical personalities and fictional characters in historical settings is Bad and so i tried to refrain from it as much as i could, except in cases where i do it for comedic effect. but secondly, i do hope you will grant me some licence since i’m not doing historical research but instead something more akin to literary analysis (the horny kind). in that sense, while we can’t assign a label to lymond since those didn’t exist in his time and the very understanding of what we call queerness was entirely different, we can however compare him to a number of similar fictional heroes and see that some of his behaviors are far from typical, they are pretty queer in the broadest sense of the word, and to me this quality constitutes a very important part of lymond’s appeal. which is why when i say stuff like “a straight man would never do that” i am only half joking😏

part one: will scott and gay subtext

fine so let’s read queer, let’s look at the textual Evidence. firstly, one of the most entertaining things about lymond in the earlier books is his flirtiness and in gok will is his primary target

sure lymond does it in order to tease and provoke but one doesn't prevent the other. besides, flirting and pointing out will’s good looks including his red hair (for which lymond clearly has a thing and you can’t convince me otherwise) as a teasing strategy is. a choice. not to mention all the petnicknames and terms of endearment with various levels of innuendo which are so manifold and suggestive i had to compile them into a separate post

secondly, there are some. ambiguous scenes and phrases, such as

this is right after lymond figuratively brought will to his knees after the hume caste mission and maybe it’s just bc i find power dynamics hot but i think that this passage is worded in a *certain* way and once you see it you can’t unsee it. i admit this one is a bit of a stretch but the other ones are absolutely not.

for example, the famous scene at the ostrich is brilliant bc you can interpret it either way - will expects to have sex either with one of the girls OR with lymond (or both? does our boy willy expect an orgy? do i underestimate his kinkiness?), the ironclad arguments in favor of the latter being 1) it’s much more fun and juicy and 2) i don’t think will’s a virgin at this point (he just came back from his study sojourn in paris and i doubt all he did there was study) and his inner monologue in this scene indicates he’s about to do something new and exciting such as gay sex with a man he has an angry crush on. in any case, his disappointment at not getting laid is cute and lymond’s sarcastic reaction is hilarious bc he clearly can read will like an open book and so he intentionally pranked him bc toying with people is his love language.

another example of "dunnett didn’t have to write it like this but she did bc she wanted us to ship them and who am i to disagree” comes up during their fight after the margaret lennox fiasco

interesting... why did you need to stress that, lymond? once again, you can interpret it as lymond being self-deprecating and ironic (”i’m such a lousy cavalier that i only fight women bc they’re the only ones i can hope to win against”) OR you can look at this sentence in the context of the scene in which he and will are quarelling like an old married couple and lymond even draws a parallel between how his bitter ex margaret gets on his nerves and will’s bitching AND lymond explicitly points out that will’s “admirably pretty” for the umpteenth time (in his defence, he’s as drunk as a sailor) - in which case the meaning of the phrase may be something along the lines of “i get involved only with women” - which would sound like a confirmation of lymond’s heterosexuality if it weren’t pointed out so entirely unprompted and in such defensive a manner. the gentleman doth protest too much

and that, my children, how subtext feeds on ambiguity. but i’m not done

bc sometimes the carefully composed subtext can in a way become text if the characters acknowledge it in-universe. the way this happens in gok is characters drawing parallels between will scott and all the women lymond allegedly seduced. richard does it

lauder & co do it multiple times during lymond’s trial accusing him of cultivating “associations both natural and unnatural”, “enticing” and “corrupting” will in the same manner as they believe he did with christian and mariotta and forcing lymond to defend will by describing him as “a normal, lively youngster” (lol i wish will had been there to hear this insightful assessment of character)

hell, even will himself does it after lymond is captured and brought to threave castle and christian reveals their acquaintance in an attempt to save him - and in such a petulant manner too

stop being jealous, will! the master has two hands!

this Evidence is already vast even without me going into will’s complicated and ever-evolving feelings towards lymond, including but not limited to admiration, hero worship and desire to surpass, envy and frustration, anger and disappointment, mistrust, lots of confusion, remorse, and finally, in their last scene together, “enslaved eagerness” and delight (big Gay). lymond dismisses all of it as a kind of teenage idolization which will is going to outgrow (although the readers who continued with the series know that that’s not true) bc lymond firmly believes himself unworthy of love and interprets every kind of love people show him as some other convoluted emotion. as for myself, i think this intricacy, this ambiguity and openness to interpretation are qualities dunnett put there on purpose and they are meant to intrigue and invite us to make connections. if gok had been written today it would’ve definitely been accused of queerbaiting of some sort, but since it wasn’t we can just live in peace and enjoy the homoerotic subtext. speaking of which.

the aforementioned friend said that in her opinion lymond has nothing but “fatherly feelings” towards will which led me to believe she must think my gushing about the homoerotic subtext of gok must mean that i think lymond lusts after will or smth. and like, no? i mean i do ship them bc dunnett left me no choice but. this is not what subtext is about?

are will and lymond gay / bi? was lymond attracted to will sexually or romantically? did will want to have sex with lymond? these questions miss the point bc they are too direct and the beauty of subtext lies in its subtlety - the art we’ve started to lose in recent years as queer rep far too often takes the shape of throwing around labels but not depicting experiences they’re meant to represent with any subtance or nuance - which is why dynamics that can’t be described in one word like that of will and lymond are fascinating to me and i think the liminality of this relationship, its inherent ambiguity and resistance to being defined are part of the appeal. if you don’t reduce the queer aspect to the surface-level observation that their tension didn’t result in anything explicit (which like, people in general and these two people specifically have many reasons not have sex even if the attraction is there) thereby proving them to be straight once and for all, you can interpret what they had in any way you like and that’s what makes it compelling and fraught with meaning and queer - as in “peculiar” but also potentially as in “if lymond didn’t automatically friendzone everyone who might develop feelings for him he and will totally would’ve banged” or “i don’t wanna assign modern labels to fictional people in historical settings however not in a million years would i believe lymond isn’t queer”. in conclusion: it’s about the vibes👌

that being said, despite the possibility to interpret lymond and will’s relationship any way you like which is sufficiently provided in the text, the interpretation depends entirely on who’s doing it. like, i’m sure my esteemed colleagues on tumblr caught each and every nugget of gay subtext dunnett wrote or alluded to or thought about briefly in the summer of 1960 but my friend, my mom, some (many?) og lymond fans just don’t see it or choose not to. this is not the case with lymond and christian’s relationship which is universally understood as romantic - on the one hand, bc we live in a heteronormative society and have been taught by media to think that any relationship between the opposite sexes must be romantic by default and any woman in a male-dominated story can only occupy the role of the love interest, and on the other hand, bc dunnett did rely on certain tropes that date back as far as chivalric romances and the very invocation of those tropes signals to us the presence of a romantic relationship regardless of whether it’s actually there or not. all this to say, i personally believe dunnett only invokes those tropes to subvert them.

part two: christian stewart and platonic love

during lymond’s trial harry lauder sums up his and christian’s relationship in the following way: “an honest, gentle and virtuous girl, a young girl of open and innocent years, betrothed to a fine man, who fell into the power of a practiced and powerful seducer, appearing to her in a guise both insinuating and irresistibly romantic”. now, the readers know that this can’t be further from the truth bc christian isn’t naive or excitable and lymond is a gentleman, but what i’m interested in specifically is how jarring the difference is between what lymond stands accused of and what his and christian’s relationship actually was like - as compared to the case of will who after all was, in a sense, led astray, who did display that “emotional instability” bishop reid describes so vividly, who, even if he wasn’t seduced and driven to anything “unnatural”, still in the broadest sense corresponds to the narrative the prosecutors present in court. christian however doesn’t bc her and lymond’s relationship wasn’t anywhere near what people are led to imagine when they find out about the manner in which their secret meetings took place.

by virtue of being a relationship between two people of opposite sexes set in the 16th century lymond and christian’s interactions are much more ceremonialized and less casual than, say, between lymond and his brothers in arms. at the same time, since lymond believes christian doesn’t know who he is, he doesn’t feel as much need to perform a certain identity in front of her which leads to a much more honest and genuine relationship - one that is entirely chaste, devoid of innuendo and filled with banter which, while not lacking in intensity compared to lymond’s banter with will scott, is much more amicable but definitely less passionate. an affair of minds, if you will.

in a different story our romantic leads would’ve fallen in love as soon as they met but in this case there are few indications that they develop anything resembling romantic feelings towards each other at all. we aren’t privy to lymond’s true thoughts or feelings but even from outsider pov he doesn’t strike me as a lovestruck man. there’s no pursuing the lady in order to have the pleasure of her company nor are there any melodramatic love confessions at the deathbed - a trope that one could expect these characters to engage in in a different story.

does lymond flirt in a similar equivocal way he does with will or maybe even make advances? in fact, there’s only a handful of times in all of their dialogues where romance is touched upon at all. the most evident of these few instances in my opinion is the following exchange after agnes herries’ wedding which is obviously conducted in a humorous tone

the rest are mostly implications of the poetry lymond quotes - and very subtle implications at that. for example, this is how the author of nowyouhavedunnett blog interprets lymond quoting a single line from the clown's courtship to christian during their inchmahome meeting

The whole poem is a proposal of marriage. Francis would not have lightly chosen to quote this poem at this moment. He is the clown, the fool, as he says, and this is as close to courtship as he can allow himself to come. He is telling Christian, obliquely, that if he were free to come every day to woo and win her, he would. But he cannot and he will not. (x)

and this is how they interpret lymond referring to himself as a "joyless jeweller” during christian’s death scene

Lymond is in full self-flagellation mode, saying he has been a "joyless jeweller up to the last, exquisite drop from the crucible." The phrase "joyless jeweller" comes from a medieval English poem, Pearl. It expresses the deep despair of a man who lives while the one he loves resides "glad and bright/In Paradise, of strife unstrained...." (x)

while i wouldn’t presume to contradict any of these interpretations, i have to say that last time i read gok along with ramsey’s guide and even then i could hardly understand the connections. do you see what we’re required to do here? we’re invited to interpret the romance into lymond and christian’s relationship (if it’s something we’re interested in doing, that is) much in the same manner as we’re invited to do it in will’s case (although i must admit the stuff lymond quotes to will is much more explicitly flirty and doesn’t require an encyclopedia to comprehend). the romantic hints are there but they are buried deep under all the references and require lots of rigorous interpreting. the difference between will and christain in this respect is that with will the romantic subtext is much more obvious but, depending on the reader, much more readily ignored, whereas with christian it’s hidden very deep and yet we still view lymond and christian as lovers by default bc of all the reasons i’ve cited above. i would argue however that the subversive value of gok lies in the fact that there’s plenty of room for them not to be viewed as such.

during the trial lymond says that there was nothing but friendship between him and christian (whereas his line of defense in will’s case is “this youngster is entirely normal and not gay at all”) and that it was enough for him to be ready to sacrifice his life in exchange for her freedom, no matter how ludicrous it may seem to lauder. obviously, lymond would never claim anything else publicly bc christian’s virtue is at stake, but even so i don’t think he’s lying. it’s said multiple times that christian would go to the same length for any of her friends as she did for lymond and it’s stated at least once that lymond would give himself up in exchange for any of his men should they be captured bc of him (to say nothing of friends and family). i think this allows for a much more noble understanding of their charactes than if either of them did what they did just bc they were in love.

as lymond remarks, lauder and the jury might find ludicrous the fact that his actions were inspired exclusively by friendship - and that is ofc bc the society we live in is not only heteronormative but amatonormative as well, which means that in the hierarchy of human relationships romance is placed at the top and all the most profound and overwhelming feelings and noblest gestures are associated with romance. many people subscribe to this view, either consciously or not, and i, for one, firmly believe that we should strive to deconstruct it in any way we can. christian indeed has feelings towards lymond and the more their relationship develops the more intense those feelings get - but the thing is, intense feelings aren’t always romantic in nature. as an aroace person i can assure you that you can experience all the spectrum of what christian felt towards her mysterious friend without being in (romantic) love with him. her emotions could very well reside in the realm of agape and philia - a kind of heavenly, altruistic love that becomes more and more personal as she gets to know lymond better. and i think ascribing a romantic sense to lymond calling christian “a woman with a familiar spirit” would be very limiting.

that’s what i find alluring about their relationship - it is a High Romance but not as in “a tale of romantic love” and instead as in “a fascinating story about a marvellous adventure” that happens to be centered on friends instead of lovers and elevates friendship in that imaginary false hierarchy of relationships by being just as grand and dramatic, sweeping and beautiful as often only romances get to be.

so. can lymond and christian’s relationship be described as a romantic involvement? would they have married if christian had survived? just as in the previous case, these questions miss the point in my opinion bc they try to force what they had into a box - specifically into a heteronormative one - whereas their actual relationship is much more undetermined and ambiguous and, if you look at it through the aspec lens, queer.

this ofc is not to say that there’s not enough evidence to interpret their relationship as a good old traditional romance and to answer those questions positively, but merely to draw your attention to the fact that dunnett wrote these relationships in gok in such a way that, once you think about them outside of the constraints of gender roles and sexuality norms, leaves plenty of room for interpretation and queer reading - not just in the case of lymond and will scott but also, despite it not seeming as intuitive, in the case of lymond and christian.

i’d hate to end this on a serious note so here are some selected suggestive quotes from the one and only prosecutor for the crown

if wishes were buttercakes, mr. lauder, beggars might bite :)

#the lymond chronicles #francis crawford of lymond #will scott #christian stewart #the game of kings #tlc mine #lemond meta #whispering gallery can contact me anytime

71 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 2 years

Text

Noah & Sekhmet Pt.1

Sekhmet: [Alright, so this advertisement for a full-time, exclusive situation. Those would be big buzzwords ‘cos a lot of them are into girlfriend experiences like you basically pretend this is real even though it’s financial and we all know it, and it can hint at the slave nature of it all like we’re not being subtle that if that’s why you wanna do it we’re alright with it, definitely pics of us, probably says videos etc on request because it’s a big ask and you’re aware, like it’d probably be like we can meet x amount of times to make sure it’s right for us both because I’m serious and want it to work and not waste either of our times so, yeah]

Noah: Requesting a video & we’ll go from there, or not

Sekhmet: 👋🏽

Noah: 😏👋

Sekhmet: 😌 I think we should get to know each other a teeny bit better first

Sekhmet: So I know what to send you, I want to make a good impression, not disappoint

Noah: my first impression is gonna be I’m forward, but it’s fitting, neither of us will end up angry over it

Sekhmet: Forward gets results, makes things happen

Sekhmet: That’s why I like [whatever site/app we are on] everyone has to be honest why they’re here, get to the good bit

Noah: agreed, but I didn’t like it when I got here as much as I do now

Sekhmet: Good, because you’ve got me curious

Sekhmet: Your profile is pretty new, have you had an arrangement before or still looking for the perfect one?

Noah: 🔎

Noah: what would you say makes you perfect?

Sekhmet: There’s so much, for the right man

Sekhmet: If you aren’t into exactly what I am, then it’s definitely not the arrangement for you, because I’m asking for a lot

Sekhmet: but if you want to give me it, you get EVERYTHING in return, nothing would be off-limits where we were concerned

Sekhmet: My time, my undivided attention, my adoration

Noah: I can admit to that sounding right

Sekhmet: Really? 😄

Sekhmet: I’d love to get to know you, see what we can make happen

Sekhmet: what do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?

Noah: I don’t mind, I develop apps, it’s a little bit why the cloak and dagger on my ID

Sekhmet: That’s genuinely cool, thank God I don’t have to pretend to understand or care about investment banking

Sekhmet: How would you improve this one? The messaging service kind of sucks, I’ll give you my number so we can leave it in the dust after this conversation, if it goes well

Sekhmet: I’m not put off by discreet profiles, if anything, it suggests you’re someone worth knowing

Noah: Darn, I was thinking you’d have A++ knowledge to pass on for my stocks & shares, dealbreaker it ain’t, but useful it could’ve been

Noah: [tell her how you’d improve it, cos you’re clearly a nerd sir and it adds legitimacy to that being what you actually do so she can see you’re not lying]

Sekhmet: I can’t say I’ll be good for your savings but I personally think I’m a worthwhile investment 😏

Sekhmet: So you could absolutely make one that would knock this one out the water, okay 🙏🏽👏🏽

Sekhmet: Do you have a boss you’d have to find a way to propose that to without giving the game away or do you work for yourself? 🤭

Noah: You do, huh? Self-belief is key to being your own boss, which I am

Sekhmet: I can show you, I’m no tease

Sekhmet: but you only get to make one first impression, right?

Sekhmet: I could tell you were, you’ve got the energy

Noah: I’m not a people person, for anyone but myself, that’s why this appealed

Sekhmet: I respect it

Sekhmet: Time to and for yourself is important

Sekhmet: I can’t promise I won’t miss you when you choose not to spend it with me but maybe you can enjoy being missed?

Noah: I give off that energy too, do I?

Sekhmet: It could just be wishful thinking on my part

Noah: it ain’t, I don’t travel for what I can do from my phone staying put, it’s for me

Noah: & you if that’s where this heads

Sekhmet: Being on such an exclusive list would be

Sekhmet: 😳

Noah: is it your first time like it’s mine?

Sekhmet: I’ve been on dates, but no one has had enough to keep my interest, never mind earn my loyalty

Sekhmet: I have an OFs though, not suggesting you subscribe or anything because I’m hoping I get to make you a personal video at the end of this, no need to 💳

Noah: entrepreneurs gotta stick together, but I won’t look ‘til you give the nod

Noah: as a man of my word who is very into loyalty & trust

Sekhmet: That’s so respectful, thank you

Sekhmet: Guys who ask if I would give it up for them usually fail to understand just how lucrative it is

Sekhmet: Are you based in London or on a business trip right now?

Noah: showing myself as someone who’s used that site by knowing it costs from this end & you gotta earn from yours, but I’m not gonna start out lying

Noah: London based for a long enough while to get anglicized a smidge or (lowkey a ton) but from the city OG- NYC for those who ain’t from there

Sekhmet: There’s as little shame in being a customer as being a creator, IMO

Sekhmet: I subscribe to loads of girls, why do I now wanna compare lists to see if our taste matches? 😋

Sekhmet: It’s a shame I missed showing you the sights but you can show me your hometown when you get to know me like that

Noah: [hit her with your list]

Noah: Gonna be hell if it gets us further from my hometown instead of closer but you’ve got me interested to know

Sekhmet: [Sends yours back so he knows you’re not just bullshitting when you go in like I made a video with that girl, I’ve done this with this girl but it’s not out yet and can recommend him girls from your list you think he’d like based on his]

Sekhmet: Absolutely not what I should be doing rn, free promo for other girls but 😅

Sekhmet: turns out our taste is VERY similar

Noah: I can throw out loyal & trustworthy again since they’re my adj of choice if you want

Sekhmet: It doesn’t hurt to hear

Sekhmet: You said forward like it might be a bad thing but you’ve given me nothing but exactly what I wanna hear

Noah: politeness is too english for me, real respect’s not

Sekhmet: You guys are totally right on that one

Sekhmet: the way people here never say what they want, never mind go after it with everything they’ve got… so frustrating

Noah: I’ll take the victory on behalf of my people

Sekhmet: You must, my sensibilities insist upon it 😊

Noah: Yeah, mine too, the ones I don’t have

Sekhmet: Well being humble is overrated too, whilst we’re at it

Sekhmet: you’re impressive, why would we not celebrate that

Noah: joint celebrations aren’t usually my bag but being an exception feels like it’d make you happy

Sekhmet: Shamelessly so

Sekhmet: but I could make a case for celebrating you publicly if you do me in private

Sekhmet: Compromise can be 😍 if you do it right

Noah: shamelessly taking your word for it for a short a time as poss & hoping you’ll give me something else in its place

Sekhmet: [A picture that’s new and he can tell because we’ve wrote ‘Hi (his fake name) on ourselves]

Sekhmet: There’s no meeting in the middle on this video though, now I’ve got an idea what you might like to see, you could fill in the gaps in my knowledge, if you want to co-direct, or we can give me marks outta 10 for how well I guess

Noah: 😍👋 Hi you

Noah: my gut instinct is telling me to let you guess

Sekhmet: The idea of getting it wrong is equal parts 🥺 and 😫

Sekhmet: Combined with your conversation, it’s quite the inspiring mix

Noah: Making me wanna ask how the idea of meeting would have you

Sekhmet: I really want to meet you

Sekhmet: if it feels anything like this in person, it will get very interesting very fast

Sekhmet: talk of a spark might be corny but 😶 in that case

Noah: I wanna meet you properly too

Sekhmet: When

Sekhmet: and no apologies for coming right out with it feels good 😅

Noah: I’ve got some other commitments but I unapologetically think you’d be a A+++ one

Sekhmet: You’re smart, so you know I would be

Sekhmet: I could really get carried away with you… dangerous, but I don’t want anything else

Noah: Carried away in [a city we can pick depending what content my boo has] say?

Noah: I’ll be there from [date] to [date, spanning a few days]

Sekhmet: I’ve always wanted to go there! 😍

Sekhmet: Promise you won’t think I’m totally stupid for it

Sekhmet: because I already trust you, or I just really, really want this enough to overlook any potential red flags

Noah: I’ve no more than any other white American in the current climate & god willing plenty less 😂 for being with you tolerant brits OR not a complete asshole

Sekhmet: I already know you’re not that

Sekhmet: I’ll be there, pursuing where this could go is worth it, even if we don’t get to fully commit

Sekhmet: though obviously I’d really like that, so far 🤞🏽

Noah: same, we can work the details out for how long you wanna stay when you’ve landed

Sekhmet: Warning, you’re not going to want me to leave ‘til you do, prepare yourself for that

Noah: what’s the prep looking like?

Sekhmet: I just hope you’re the type who likes his three hours sleep a night because I can’t see myself getting any with you around

Sekhmet: and being a distraction is a habit I just can’t kick, so I hope this isn’t a work heavy trip

Noah: all-nighters isn’t a habit I can, been some time since I’ve wanted to do it for something not work though

Sekhmet: I’m honoured, genuinely

Sekhmet: you’ll see how productive you can be after partying with me

Noah: What's your party poison?

Sekhmet: [Be honest without being alarming obvs, a I’ll do whatever basically]

Sekhmet: A party is a party however we arrive at it, right

Noah: perfect answer

Sekhmet: That’s what I’d want to be

Sekhmet: I know how the arrangement looks at first, but I want you to get as much from it, my devotion could be the biggest asset to you and your goals, behind all the hard work I wanna celebrate with you

Noah: devotion is a personal goal, mutually, I wouldn’t be into asking you to give me anything I’m not returning

Sekhmet: I think we could make each other very happy, honestly

Sekhmet: I wouldn’t pursue anything without the possibility of that connection, personally

Noah: it’d be a waste of time and yours is as precious as mine is, something I can tell you value

Sekhmet: Absolutely

Sekhmet: I only want my life going in one trajectory, and the same for the people around me I value

Sekhmet: We would be a good fit

Noah: I felt an immediate connection to you, I know how phony that’s gotta sound but

Sekhmet: it doesn’t

Sekhmet: we’re not meant to say what our gut is telling us, for the sake of someone else’s blushes or our own

Sekhmet: but fuck that, I want to be completely vulnerable with the person I’m with

Sekhmet: if you can’t there, then with who? That’s safety to me, an ultimate turn-on always

Noah: if someone ain’t a safe place to land, I’m not gonna stick around

Noah: I’ve been in too many crashes before

Sekhmet: I’m sorry, I hate that

Sekhmet: are you with someone rn?

Sekhmet: it’s not going to turn my fuck yes into a no, but I’m just curious

Noah: I am, but she’s a flight risk

Sekhmet: I understand

Noah: she’s driven me here, to this, but I’m not angry about it after finding you from it

Sekhmet: Life is so complex, sometimes

Sekhmet: that’s ultimately what this is, it’s the essentials, and what will make us happy, that’s it

Sekhmet: None of the distractions and bullshit other people impose

Noah: I can’t put a timestamp on when she last made me happy, it’s further back than that, and I equally can’t put any on when our lives got tangled to the point getting out couldn’t be barging my way through

Sekhmet: I think it’s noble you still have enough respect for her to not do that

Sekhmet: even though I think you deserve better

Sekhmet: but me making you happy and being that port in the storm would be the best, no lie, so if you accept I don’t have to be sad

Noah: I can’t accept before the video, can I? That’d be

Noah: disrespectful to the work you’ve put in

Sekhmet: You’re going to be able to tell when I just read what you said

Sekhmet: it should probably be embarrassing how much harder each message is making me work but, I’m not

Noah: embarrassment is a foreign concept, I wouldn’t recognize it if you were

Noah: and you’d think I was an 👽 who crash landed

Sekhmet: I’m beyond ready to be shameless for you

Noah: beyond is nice, for a word choice & an action

Sekhmet: I don’t like limits

Sekhmet: ask me to do anything and I’ll do it, go on

Noah: OK, I’ll ask you who you are when you’re not here, this site & OFs

Sekhmet: You want to know how much is a persona and how much is the real me?

Sekhmet: or do you literally want my real socials? Both are an option too

Noah: how deep into a persona you are, or not, will decide if I want your real socials or I don’t

Sekhmet: Okay

Sekhmet: well, whether this is the right answer or not, it’s the truth so

Sekhmet: I feel the most like me here, exploring this

Sekhmet: at best/worst depending on opinion, you could say my content is selling myself, but how you would with investors, it’s not fake, it’s palatable if you’ve got the taste for it but it’s me, I’m the commodity, and that isn’t an alter-ego, I’m too good a sell to deny myself the pleasure

Noah: I’d have a partner in my app development company, after hearing your passion, if you were applying for it

Sekhmet: Making you and me richer is exactly what I’m applying for here

Noah: what’ll I be keeping you from when I’m keeping you with me all the time?

Sekhmet: Well, I seriously regret the path I went down with Uni, so you’d be keeping me from wasting my time with industry dinosaurs who refuse to see where fashion is and where it’s heading

Sekhmet: I have ideas that would be so much easier to pursue outside of a lecture hall

Noah: [Tell her about some fashion app that isn’t finished yet so she can’t be like omg I know who you are]

Sekhmet: Wow, that’s kind of like you read my mind, that’s so more in line with what I plan to do with my designs

Noah: it’s final stages, I’ll prioritize the finish knowing now it’s what you study

Sekhmet: That’s entirely too hot for words 😳

Noah: I figured artists & rockstars were cornering the market on muses, but it turns out I wasn’t thinking big

Sekhmet: [the dates of this trip] should be right now

Sekhmet: The anticipation just might kill me at this rate

Noah: we could bring it forward, but london isn’t the draw [place] was

Sekhmet: You’re now very comfortably in the lead as the main appeal 🤫

Sekhmet: But I will practice patience if you have other commitments, don’t worry

Noah: How many others responded to your ad? I don’t have infinite patience but I do have that amount of desire to stay in the lead

Sekhmet: It’s been a lot of timewasters

Sekhmet: the opposite of an instant connection, I could immediately tell they were not right for me

Sekhmet: I met one guy but in the spirit of trusting my gut, he was off-puttingly old

Sekhmet: I can handle older, enjoy some maturity compared to boys my age, but there are limits 😆

Noah: I’m 29 & only feel off-puttingly old in the presence of my girlfriend

Noah: that known, what do I have to do to get you to take it down? Immediately

Sekhmet: I think you’re the youngest guy I’ve spoken to that was worth it, an understatement to describe this, but in comparison to the 18 year olds that think Nobu on their first paycheck will cut it 😬

Sekhmet: Turn the question into a demand, and it’s so done

Noah: take it down & send me confirmation it is

Sekhmet: [Do that]

Noah: & meet me tonight at [somewhere at such and such a time]

Sekhmet: Yes

Sekhmet: what should I wear?

Noah: [namedrop an obscure designer that few people would know but you know she will]

Sekhmet: Am I dreaming?

Sekhmet: If you’re this perfect in person, you have to claim me right away, I can’t wait

Noah: Pinching yourself works, try it out

Sekhmet: [screen grabbing this]

Sekhmet: I think I should send this video and keep it going on call

Sekhmet: can you?

Noah: I can’t talk but you can make up for that

Sekhmet: and you can watch?

Noah: listen

Noah: you shouldn’t see me before tonight

Sekhmet: You are saving me from myself

Sekhmet: I already can’t stop thinking about you, that would really have me delirious

Noah: what do you think I look like? I’m curious

Sekhmet: I definitely think you’re fair, you probably have a great smile because you’re Americain

Sekhmet: Those are my educated guesses that aren’t purely driven by how horny I am 😅

Noah: it’d be funny if you picked up an Italian vibe, I don’t have any of that in me

Noah: Irish is more likely

Sekhmet: Me too!

Sekhmet: And I, however egotistically, think blonde hair is prettiest so 🤤

Noah: checking your ego isn’t going to happen when you’re with me

Sekhmet: I can already tell

Sekhmet: I hope you think I look as good with constantly flushed cheeks

Noah: [Tell her what makeup to wear or not wear depending on what content my boo has if she wants to post lol]

Sekhmet: I like that you’re going to recognise me and I won’t you

Noah: I’m really into it too

Noah: I’ll get to come up behind you & you won’t know if it’s me or not

Sekhmet: Shit

Sekhmet: yeah, really, really into that

Noah: asking myself if I’ve got time to hire somewhere & have it dark save for a spotlight on you

Sekhmet: It already feels so cinematic, that would be too fitting for words 😍

Noah: I’m on it, baby

Noah: calling in every contact I can to do this

Sekhmet: does that mean we’ll be meeting just us two, no one else around?

Sekhmet: and call me baby more, please

Noah: yeah, we can serve our own drinks, not being bothered what they are

Sekhmet: And you’re not a people person, so it couldn’t be more ideal

Noah: right

Sekhmet: I look forward to it

Sekhmet: immensely so

Noah: I’ll face reveal when I collect you at the airport, you’ll be trapped in a car with me if you like what you see or don’t

Sekhmet: You aren’t coming out of the shadows?

Noah: you’re coming into the shadows with me, if you want to

Sekhmet: it’s where the good stuff happens, so I hear 💀💀

Sekhmet: You’re incredibly on the exact level I’m always trying to be on

Sekhmet: it’ll sound fake to say I haven’t met a guy who is before but I promise you it’s true, sad for me before now

Noah: Have you met any girls who are? Off your list or anywhere else

Sekhmet: There is this girl, she’s kind of like a little sister

Sekhmet: I know, I know 😅 but that’s fun because she’s very impressionable

Sekhmet: You know what you’re doing, so it’s a different energy

Noah: nobody to be jealous of, huh?

Noah: that makes me happy

Sekhmet: Nope

Sekhmet: I really am ready to be yours

Noah: I’m ready to make you mine

Sekhmet: We were meant to be in this place, at the same time

Noah: [send her the new location and time because of course you have sorted this v specific date] & there

Sekhmet: I had an idea, you might like it

Noah: I might or I definitely will & I have to hear it?

Sekhmet: I want to leave my phone at home

Sekhmet: so you know how much I trust you

Noah: when I call it to make certain, it’ll go straight to asking me to leave a message & I will, for later

Sekhmet: for when I miss you already

Sekhmet: fuck fuck fuck 🤤

Noah: I’ll text to check you got home safe, you can let me know about missing me then

Sekhmet: If you’re any more chivalrous, you will never get me off that phone when I’m snuggled in bed, daydreaming on you 🥰

Noah: I’m not angry about knowing exactly where you are & what you’re doing, all night & all day

Sekhmet: I’ll feel all the safer knowing you know

Sekhmet: and all the more hopeful you might show up again

Noah: when I’m next to you, both of us not sleeping, you’ll have to tell me how you feel

Sekhmet: You’d have a hard time stopping me

Sekhmet: you need to know how you’re making me feel, always

Noah: it’ll be as mutual

Sekhmet: I’m desperate to hear you, already

Noah: [send her a pic that’s not your face, wink wonk, for the compromise]

Sekhmet: is that for me?

Noah: compromise done right, I listen

Sekhmet: You’re so hard

Sekhmet: and I can see precum 🥵

Noah: I am & it’s all cos of you

Sekhmet: when you’re with me, I’ll keep you hard always

Sekhmet: I can fall asleep with you inside my mouth, so you can fuck me when you wake up before work

Noah: I’m gonna have a hell of a hard time leaving you

Sekhmet: That’s what I want

Sekhmet: then maybe you’ll come see me on your lunch break

Noah: If you want it bad, I’ll work from home

Sekhmet: Your girlfriend could still think you were at the office

Sekhmet: that’s all I want, you, all day every day 🥴

Noah: [send her a video that doesn’t have your face in either obvs because we’re into it and shit is escalating sis]

Sekhmet: can you save your cum

Sekhmet: It’s the first time I made you cum and I want it 😳

Noah: most, you made me cum too hard to locate all of it

Sekhmet: you’re not real, I can’t believe I get to be yours

Sekhmet: [send him your video which was you getting progressively more into this convo in all the ways, as clearly that was the inspo to finish you needed]

Noah: OK damn, I’ll get myself in a position to collect every bit this time

Sekhmet: Daddy

Sekhmet: all your hard work will be worth it when you see me using every last drop

Noah: is that why your skin is perfect?

Sekhmet: Mhmm, it’s seriously good for me, you’ll be taking care of me with every cumshot you give me

Noah: You make my girlfriend look ugly

Noah: every girl I’ve been with

Sekhmet: 🥺 that’s the best compliment

Sekhmet: I want everyone to see me on your arm, but they can never ever have me

Noah: [Tell her about some networking thing that you don’t want Jay to go to but you now want her to]

Sekhmet: That would be incredible

Sekhmet: You can dress me exactly how you want them to see me

Noah: [Tell her how you’re going to dress her, again I shan’t specify]

Sekhmet: I’ll feel so pretty for you

Noah: You’re going to be, ready for them all eyefucking you

Sekhmet: I won’t notice, I’m only going to be looking at you

Sekhmet: I’ll just notice if you’re proud of me or not

Noah: there’s lots to be proud of, baby

Sekhmet: that’s all I want

Sekhmet: making you proud will make me wanna do bad things with you there though

Sekhmet: they better not expect to talk to you all night

Noah: I’ll let ‘em know they can’t

Noah: I’m a busy man

Sekhmet: Yes daddy 🙌🏽

Sekhmet: if they wanna kiss your ass they’ll have to get in line and then back the fuck up 😣

Noah: You’re something else at hyping me up

Sekhmet: It would be insane for me not to, even with having to keep some stuff on the low for privacy at the start, I can tell you’re wildly successful

Sekhmet: and you have a winner’s attitude, that can’t be ignored

Noah: you can’t be ignored, baby

Noah: I’m back to being rock hard as I was before, fuck

Sekhmet: when did you first get hard in this convo

Noah: when you said what you did about being vulnerable with the person you’re with

Noah: my girlfriend shuts me out, her issues, she can’t give me none of that

Sekhmet: That is the best possible answer you could give, wow

Sekhmet: we should probably talk about how much you want me to talk or not talk about your girlfriend, I don’t want to overstep

Noah: I don’t mind you talking about her, you’re gonna have some opinions when I do

Sekhmet: Okay, I already feel like I have some, for sure

Noah: you’ve got my permission to share them

Sekhmet: You seem so giving and she’s so, cold and distant

Sekhmet: it doesn’t sound like she deserves you at all

Noah: she hasn’t from day 1, but I figured given time she’d open up

Noah: start to work her shit out, there’s reasons why she’s got the issues, people who hurt her who weren’t me

Sekhmet: letting go can be hard, or basically impossible, like you said

Sekhmet: especially when you still care, even if you know you deserve more

Noah: it’s like I’ve failed, her still being where she is after years of being with me

Noah: it’s shitty for me, feeling it

Sekhmet: I can imagine

Sekhmet: you shouldn’t have to feel responsible but I get that that’s the sort of caring guy you are, you don’t give up

Noah: I don’t, but it’s the same number of steps back as forward every time & it makes me look the asshole when they’re away, running off to wherever the hell

Sekhmet: Do you think you’re going to stay with her, but do things like this

Sekhmet: it seems only fair that you get your escape too

Noah: it is only fair, I don’t know what she’s doing when she’s MIA, the truth ain’t gonna come out of her about it

Sekhmet: exactly

Sekhmet: if she had any fight in her, she would’ve felt the distance that’d been created and… do something, no matter how messed up she is

Noah: yeah, I used to be all in, wanted kids with her & everything

Sekhmet: She’ll either sort it or it’ll be her who’s the biggest loser, in the end

Sekhmet: you’ve been nothing but a good guy

Noah: I can’t be the kinda guy never getting what he wants, it ain’t who I am

Sekhmet: It’s a disservice to do that to yourself

Sekhmet: too many people do, it doesn’t end well

Noah: I know you’ll be good for it, my bs detector hasn’t gone off this whole time

Sekhmet: You haven’t got much more than that to go off yet

Sekhmet: but I really don’t lie

Sekhmet: I want this more than anything, I can’t keep living how I am

Noah: makes 2 of us in the same boat

Sekhmet: No better place to start 😌

Noah: I want you more than anything, for this setup to be with you

Sekhmet: It’s me

Sekhmet: if you do this with anyone else, it won’t be as fucking perfect

1 note · View note

astrognossienne · 6 years

Text

poll results: 🌊water signs🌊

This was the most popular poll among the four posted. Man, you people are very triggered by water signs huh lmao. Anyways, so my polling is now closed. Thanks to all who responded and took ALL of the polls. The ones I want to thank the most are those who were REAL ACROSS THE BOARD and answered all polls as objectively, honestly and as comprehensively as possible (meaning not triggered by me in either telling me what they think I wanna hear, or by being childish and trite, trying to be vindictive towards all Cancers just because of their dislike for me [or that one Cancer that hurt them] or because they simplemindedly buy into the Cancer archetype/stereotype becasue it’s the popular thing to do.🙄 Cute try, children 😏).

In summation, the answers were pretty interesting, to say the least. I’ve found that you lot, as predicted, either didn’t have a reason (“I really don’t care for Pisces or Scorpio people, so I just clicked on one”, ”the same as my last answer”, ”like I answered before…”, “like I already said previously”, “idk” 🙄🙄), got suuper defensive when it came to the reasons why you chose who you chose when it came to the Cancer vs Pisces question, or you came up with double standards for them (for example, one hated Cancers because they were “too soft”, yet wanted to “protect Pisces from all the bad in the world” and was “soft for them”) 🤔🤔. All of these are lazy cop outs. All in all, my hypothesis was once again proven right 😂. Also, I only counted one answer per person, so needless to say, I happily deleted any double answers from the same person trying to skew the results in a certain sign’s favour 💁‍♀️ .

After clearing all the extraneous, incomplete, and clearly triggered opinions and focusing exclusively on those who actually have VALID reasons, there were:

100 total who answered the water sign poll

70 total who answered the fire sign poll

77 each who answered for the air and earth sign polls

All coherent reasons (even if it was just as basic as expressing pride in your own/certain signs) were copied verbatim, atrocious spelling and grammar and all. I took the liberty of bolding the best ones. Here’s the breakdown:

water signs

The reasons for Cancer:

Had more negative experiences with Scorpios than Cancers. My ascendant is in Cancer too, and a lot of my closest friends have their Sun conjunct - or close to conjunct - my ASC

cuddly

Scorpios are just as emotional as Cancers but hide it. Cancers hide behind humour in my experience, while Scorpios act like they’re tough and feel no emotions. That gets very tiring very quick. I’m also a taurus so that opposition energy is real lol

very nurturing and caring

I struggle dealing the scorpio secrecy and passive aggression. I know people talk about cancer, and water signs in general being passive aggressive, but i swear to you that in my life, every cancer i have met has been so sincere and honest about their feelings once they trust you. That may be bc cancer is on my desc. but every scorpio i know is opposite. even when youre close they still dont open up and theyll never tell you whata bothering the. i cant deal w it.

imma cancer. and honestly we don’t get enough credit.

It was a tie but if I had to choose it would be cancer

We love cancer people

Don’t really like any of them, so it was a random choice

Chilling with Cancers brings out the inner child in me. They respond so well to the smallest amounts of love. My Aqua Moon doesn’t do well with overtly showing love, so it’s nice that Cancers understand to an extent and can appreciate the tiny amounts of love I give when I can manage it. In my experience, other water signs condemn me for this, but Cancers have taken the time to understand and accept

im a cancer

cancers just appeal to me more, it’s just a subjective opinion

Scorpios are too unstable and intense

they’re funnier and nicer

They aren’t vindictive and capricious

They’re less self absorbed

They’re more grounded nicer

Cause I’m cancer dominant. Scorpio is my second most dominant sign. Although, many of my favorite musicians are scorpios, I don’t know any scorpios in my life that I don’t find annoying

Scorpios tend to intimidate me. I know more Cancers and they’re always big sweethearts with a little crybaby action mixed in.

I love my little crabs.

I love Cancer because I am one and my favorite celebrity is one too

I’m a Cancer. And my my mother is one, so are two of my friends. I really get along with Cancers.

Cancers are nicer

Softer, more open

thoughtfull and easy to get a long with

Because I am a Cancer, easy choice.

So sweet & dreamy!

Scorpio’s are just annoying, they love to act tough but are some of the biggest babies in the zodiac.

They’re much more gentle

A lot more adaptable and less likely to hold on to something (an opinion/feeling) to spite someone.

They’re less intense and easier to get along with

Cancers are more honest than Scorpio, at least from what I experienced. I like mysterious people, don’t get me wrong, but I think Scorpios take it to ANOTHER FUCKING LEVEL and they use that shit to be all unclear about what they want from you. Even if Cancers tend to be manipulative I think most of them don’t do it on purpose, Scorpio people have literally said to me that they loved to always get what they want from people (they were friends of mine so they trusted me with that shit weirdly and like pal I won’t cherish you for being an asshole) and that they felt bad por liking it so much ?? But they didn’t actually felt bad I mean they didn’t stop doing it. I hate when some Cancers get clingy or overemotional (but also some of them are the most cold people I’ve met ¿?), but at least they do keep things clear. Like they crazy but not hiding it.

Less egotistical

More gentle, listens to you, warm and polite

Bc I am one. I prefer the women over cancer men tho. But I still don’t like very many cancer women even tho I am one

I’m a cancer moon so I’m probably biased, but I love the sensitivity and nurturing tendancies of cancers. Some of my favorite people I’ve known were cancer suns and they were so sweet and caring but also not afraid to stand up for themselves. I have known a couple who are kind of on the other end of the spectrum and are kind of emotionally unstable and self centered, though. I do like the scorpios I know, I just feel like there energy is pretty different from mine.

I am a Pisces and I relate and seem to become friends with cancer a lot easier than a scorpio.

Loving and caring

Scorpio’s have the biggest egos out of all the signs, it’s annoying they take even the most impersonal comments, personally

More nurturing

emotional openness and vulnerability, underrated souls bc often are on the background taking care of people, cardinal and enterprising spirit, can be wise and accepting of the human ways in such that makes them nurturing, insightful and helpful friends

my moms a cancer

The reasons for Scorpio:

I am one lol

There’s something about Scrops that keep dragging me to them; they’re mysterious and magnetic, and have this subtly but definitely powerful aura with them. Protective, loyal, smart, intense. A lot of them are just hauntingly gorgeous, both their physical and personality.”

cancer is sweeter, but scorpios - though they can be mean - are so nice when they’re all about you. if you’re the one they love. harder to get in, but more of an honour.

I like their energy, very intense!

cancers are a bit too moody and emotional for my liking. Scorpios are vengeful, but less emotional.

Hard to choose. When they’re good, they’re good, and they can both be absolute gems. But I’ve found that Cancers tend to be more lazy, self-absorbed and subjective, several qualities I’m not into.

I’m a Scorpio rising and have a natural affinity for Scorpio energy, it comes across as very genuine most of the time. I have venus in Cancer and I love Cancers but the emotions can become a bit heavy.

I generally get along with scorpios more than cancers.

Cancers are too emotional for me. Scorpios are of course also emotional but on a much deeper, more intense level

I like the depth and darkness of it. I personally resonate with Scorpio more as it is my Rising and Mercury sign. I don’t see anything up with Cancer, but I just don’t relate to it as much, though it is very cute.

scorpios have this…compelling energy that demands attention, respect. theyre untouchable, but on your level in this sweet, unfathomable way

Mysterious, appealing, not whiny like Cancers, even though I know really nice Cancer people but I just prefer Scorpio over them that’s all. No hate x

Cancers are the worst

Ummm…sexy eyes

less manipulative and mentally ill; more straightforward

I prefer Scorpio suns to Cancer suns because unless the Cancer has other placements that aid in emotional expression, I’ve found that passive-aggressive outbursts are more common among Cancers than Scorpios. In my experience (not saying this is representative of the larger population), Scorpios are more likely to tell you what they mean than Cancers.

scorpios get a bad rap for being ‘edgy, manipulative, too intense, blah blah blah’ but a lot of the scorpios i’ve encountered have actually been very kind and loyal

cancers are too soft,,, my best friend is Scorpio dominant and she’s a true queen who doesn’t let anyone walk over her

Scorpio have a dark quality about them that i love.

Cancers are manipulative and self centered but hide it atleast Scorpio’s own up to it

Any scorpio placement is intoxicating and sexy as fuck

Developed they’re one of the wisest signs. I respect their search of “truth“ and their consequential frankness.

Passion

cancer’s drama is sometimes too much? Like bitch I left u on read cause i fucking forget it and did go to sleep like wtf calm down BUT that doesn’t mean that they aren’t good people💑

They’re the best

They are not as moody and changeable as cancer- easier to maintain a peaceful relationship with

Full disclaimer, I don’t really have a reason for picking this except for the fact that it’s my Mars sign and a prominent energy in my chart

because they’re less annoyin

Because of their stereotypical vibe. I love dark and mysterious. They make me curious.

Clingy, but low key clingy

Cancers whine too much and Scorpios know how to mind their business and get shit done.

i just find scorpio’s to be less sensitive than cancer’s? like, i don’t need to hold a scorpio’s hand all the time, and i appreciate that

luv the intensity

Even tho cancers and scorpios are emotional disasters, Scorpio tends to be less self pitying. cancers more likely let their unhappiness boil around inside them and are really cranky.

i just have known more scorpios in my life and have always had pretty good experiences with them

I’m Cancer rising but have a Scorpio moon + am very heavily Scorpio dominant. I actually don’t really like my rising sign because I feel like it often makes me come off as weaker than I really am, which I find frustrating. No hate on Cancers tho honestly, they feel so much and I get that completely. But Scorpios… we powerful.

scorpios have a cooler aesthetic and cancers seem more like moms to me

Scorpio seems more self reliant to me. I don’t like Cancer’s tendencies to smother.

i tend to get along better with Scorpio, I also find their archetype more interesting

i love the deep talks i can have with scorpios!

The reasons for Scorpio:

Pisces are pussies

interesting

Pisces are just too dreamy and victim-complexy for me. Scorpios are also victims, but they’re less obvious about it and willing to fix those traits if someone talks to them about it. I’m a very direct and straightforward person, so Pisces energy is too much for me.

I find that Pisces, like Cancer, are more lazy and scatterbrained.

I love both but I personally identify more with Scorpio.

intense

pisces, esp females, that I’ve encountered are just.. too over the place. scorpio females are amazing. males can be hot and intense too. pisces males too corny.

Lol, not gonna lie, fuck Pisces. Pisces is too spacey at its worst for me but they can possess much power spiritually. They are very enigmatic. I feel that Scorpio has a more active and present power and I admire that very much.

I’ve been deeply hurt by Pisces in the past. They seem to go through a learning curve in life: they’re complete self-serving bitches until they learn to love themselves, at which point they suddenly realize how much damage they’ve caused other people and desperately attempt to make amends. After these amends are made they become incredibly loving and accepting people, which I admire. Scorpios, on the other hand, tend to internalize their insecurities (much like I do), so they never hurt others to the extent that Pisces seem to. And I LOVE talking with Scorpios about taboo topics, they can be quite witty

i prefer scorpios

No dislike to Pisces but I just prefer Scorpio.

All the Pisces I know are legit terrifying

I hate Pisces! So wimpy

Stronger, less of a victim

As much as I love Pisces I’ve had better experiences with Scorpios surprisingly

All Pisces I’ve had the displeasure of knowing have been assholes. They all talk behind your back and fake problems to victimize themselves. 🙄

I hate Pisces so I prefer Scorpio. I dont like these signs even though I am a Scorpio Venus and habe a Pisces Midheaven. In my experience Scorpio and Pisces sun signs always were fake

Pisces can get too much for me. I prefer Scorpio.

pisces are too much

Scorpios are honest

As a Pisces myself other Pisces are sometimes too much for me, lol. Scorpios challenge me more intelectually.

Pisces is too soft, too gentle, too much of a pushover

Stronger and more confident

Scorpios have more of an enigmatic aura which is wholly enrapturing, don’t get me wrong I love both signs, but Pisces is often too nebulous and too easily bruised to truly be able to delve into the abyssal depths of emotion which Scorpio can.

They’re the best duh

Same thing but also, I don’t like Pisces men much.

Scorpios are more honest and straighforward

Not as weak, definitely more self reliable

Pisces is too washy

Pisces are fake, manipulative, weak, and just overall insufferable.

PISCES ARE SUCH DRAMA!!! i have never had as bad luck with a sign as i have with pisces, goodness

Pisces are SO PASSIVE. Cancer for example is also like that (I’m clarifying because I just chose Cancer over Scorpio lol) but they are also a cardinal sign, they may do things slowly or not aggressively but they do get shit done. Pisces just fucking complains and expects you to feel so bad for them like the things they complain about have no solution, and it’s like BITCH you just have to move your ass a little and fix it. Cry and whatever if it’s necessary but then just solve it or get over it!! ! ! Scorpios are more intolerant about what bothers them. They just get rid of it or whatever. They try to make it better (they also depressive as fuck but they try lol), Pisces just cries and expects everyone to look after them.

pisces are big piss babies and theyre annoying

They’re more tolerable I guess…

I’m so biased lmfao. But regardless Pisces seem like they don’t know what they want and can’t take a strong approach to anything which unfortunately I view as “weak” in comparison to how intense my Scorpio dominance is.

prices seem too into their dreams to me and i get along better with scorpios

Pisces tend to do really bad things and blame others. When Scorpio does something bad, at least they admit it

Sex

Courageous spirit that faces anything life throws at them, search for the deeper meaning of everything and wont accept superficial lies, stay true to themselves no matter what though will hide it under their secretive ways, will do the wildest things for you if they truly love and trust you bc they value loyalty deeply, can be really subversive and interesting, sexy and sensual af.

I do like both, but I’ve got better experience with Scorpio

the deep talks!

I hate Pisces because they are 200% more needy than the other signs and they romanticize unhealthy things way easier. Also major victim complex and a lil masochistic

The reasons for Pisces:

Pisces’ endless and unconditional kindness always touch my heart. They’re really loving and selfless, very creative, artistic, aesthetic. It’s more peaceful and relaxing to be around a pisces than a scorp

Again, negative experiences with Scorpio. People with Pisces planets fall in to my 11th house.

Cool peoples

Pisces=sweethearts

I love a piscean and I just connect with them on a spiritual level more

While pisces also frustrate me w their passiveness, I dont care about it as much as w scorpios bc i can confront them about how they are causing their own issues/how i am feeling/how they are feeling and they wont stop talking to me for 2 yrs they wont get insulted. most pisces i know actually have very thick skin, or if they dont, then they dont just like disappear off the face of the earth bc theyre avoiding you. mostly i feel like when pisces disappear they leave bc theyre soul searching bc theyve finally realized through their thick fish skulls that all the truth u have been tryin to get through their heads is actually right and theyve been doin stupid shit for too long and need to rethink their life

Pisces for me is like a mix between Scorpio and cancer. Emotional but also kinda intense and soo dreamy haha

I know my Pisces friends better

Scorpios are so manipulative and possessive

pisces are sensitive but intelligent, yet with the right touch of oil to their water they can set aflame.

Not so mich drama with them

again, just a subjective opinion. I’m a pisces as well and i click well with them

I relate better to Pisces

theyre nicer

Pisces are really smart and cute if you can get them to open up

I prefer Pisces to Scorpio because in my experience, I’ve found that Pisces are much more compassionate than Scorpios, and compassion is a trait that I value extremely highly.

i like how dreamy pisces are, and a lot of people with pisces placements are gifted in some way – usually artistically or musically, which i love

funny people

They’re cute and sentimental

Nicer

Pisces goes well with my crabby moon.

More pure

Pisces is wife material

Spirituality, pureness of the heart, kindness

I love fish i’m sorry

Less obsessive and intense, more forgiving and lighthearted. More understanding than Scorpios. Pisces don’t want to make a mess out of everything all the time whereas Scorpios life for the drama

Pisces rising and Venus, 2nd dominant sign. The mutable energy of this sign gives me a chameleon like quality that is extraordinarily helpful when it comes to dealing with different types of people. It also ensures a nice balance of my feelings when up against my dominant Aquarius energy.

cause they are selfless<3

They’re simultaneously wise and naive while generally being quite friendly

when the placements/aspects are right it makes people very sweet and soft. i can always tell when people have pisces sun or mercury

Better communication

Funny, witty, talks a lot

my mom is a Pisces

I’m a pisces sun so I’m biased. But I love their creativity and artistic qualities- the other pisces I know are all really creative and often super funny. A lot of them tend to me more outspoken and outgoing than I am, but they have a really memorable, fun presence. I don’t think I’ve ever met one I just blatantly didn’t like.

because I am A Pisces! and we are awesome!

Creative and spiritual

i just love pisces, and their intuitive, dreamy nature

The reasons for Pisces:

I love Cancer too, but they’re a bit too emotional and possessive for me to handle sometimes. In general, their love for people and life in general are both great, but Pisces’ acceptance, their instinctive understanding about human, and their ultimate kindness make me crawl back to them all the damn time

Both have their faults. Pisceans are beautiful, forgiving and idealistic humans, but to a fault. They tend to romanticize and trivialize everything. Cancers are caring and skilled, but when it comes to underhandedness and manipulation, I believe that Pisceans have better intentions and it’s less coming-from-the-heart.

I feel like cancer-men especially are more family-orientated and stuff but pisces are once again more in-depth to me

this was tough for me, but tbh my mom is a pisces and shes the one who decided for me (not actually, but i love my mom so much bc of who she is). neptune can suck sometimes bc of disillusionment, but i think people w heavy pisces influence go one of two ways - hyper emotionalism or extreme rationalism. i value the adaptability of pisces, which i rarely (if ever see in cancer) and that is not a bad thing. i just tend to mesh more easily w pisces than cancer bc ironically, it tends to be easier for me to level w them. even if they dont absorb the concepts i am expressing, they tend to get it. and cancers do too but my experience w cancers (which is what my answers are all is based on anyway - MY experiences w the signs) have always been brief friendships that die out. Theres less of a desire to branch out for cancer, it loves its home and its shell and ultimately wants to stay there. Pisces is happy to swim. I love them both but I have to pick pisces for this one.

The girl that I liked the most was a Pisces like the feelings that she gave me were overwhelming they came on hard and fast before I realized it and I dreamt about her alot like she was beautiful like idk how to even describe how I felt for her even though she didn’t like me back in the end I still care about her alot as friend three years after she rejected me

Because my bae is piscis

They have a similar level of affection (as friends or lovers) but Pisces is more forgiving and understanding than cancer. They understand people are not perfect. Cancers expect a lot from others and dont apply the same rules to themselves. Cancers are too moody and you have no idea what set them off- overall they can be stressful and high maintinence, especially if they’re not your kind of people. Pisces can be flexible and more in tune with other people’s needs and not just their own. You can have a good time without worrying about them getting upset over the smallest thing

a cancer is flighty to me, too easily misguided. hikst pisces find themselves amongst distorted reality they still taste bitterness and swallow it

Again, not so much drama and hypocrisy

more interesting and creative

Lesser of two evils

anyone but cancer lol

i’m a sag, and i naturally relate more with other mutable signs (w/ the exception of virgos). especially with pisces since their traditional ruler is jupiter.

I feel a strong urge to protect them from all the bad in this world I’m soft for them :(

[pisces are too much] yet better than cancers

More genuine

Pisces fit better with me, cause im a cancer. Two cancers get on well but it can get stale. And neithers emotions know boundaries. Not enough balance.

Bad experience with cancers being petty victim types. (Esp the men!). I just prefer chill open minded people, in my experience more frequent in Pisces (as long as you let them run away from their problems)

Intelligence, otherworldly

I love fish i’m sorry pt 2

funnier than cancer

They are more creative/less moody

like i answered before, pisces makes people sweeter imo.

I generally am on the same wavelength as pisces

Easier to deal with, talks more, lighter

pisces are bad but cancers … worse

Same as my preference over scorpio. I’m a pisces sun so I’m biased. But I love their creativity and artistic qualities- the other pisces I know are all really creative and often super funny. A lot of them tend to me more outspoken and outgoing than I am, but they have a really memorable, fun presence. I don’t think I’ve ever met one I just blatantly didn’t like.

they tend to be nicer and relatable

cancers just are kinda boring idk and pisces are not mother-like

like I said I love Pisces, we just connect on higher level than me and Cancers

I like their dreaminess, they are quite aloof and adorable

The reasons for Cancer:

Cancer are less annoying we tend to get along better (i have a cancer moon that probably helps) pisces tend to be hypocrites in my experience

I’ve better friendships with Cancers.

cuddly

See previous explanation. Generally, I feel like Pisces has everything I don’t like about Cancer (overemotional, unwilling to listen to reason, victim complex) plus their own problems.

pisces can be fake.

Cancers are more dependable and grounded

I love them both but Pisces more for the archetype and Cancers more personally. A lot of Pisces are underdeveloped because the energy is so heavy and complex.

caring

I feel more security at this point with Cancer. While I think of waterfalls with Pisces, waterfalls can be relaxing or turbulent. Cancer makes me think of those chunky knit blankets and knit sweaters in colors like blush pink. I also think of mid morning sunlight with Cancer, and it makes me feel more optimistic.

Again, cancers are just more fun. They’re self-sacrificing in a more moderate way. When a Cancer sacrifices something for you, you can be sure it means something. Mature Pisces will sacrifice things for anyone in order to prove their own “goodness” to themselves

pisces dont seem strong enough to handle daily life things imo

Because I am one lol

I don’t know, it was hard to choose between as I feel similarly for both signs. I feel equal tbh.

Much more caring & happy

I prefer Cancers to Pisces because I’ve found that Pisces tend to be too spacey for my liking, as compared to Cancers.

i’ve just related to cancers begger

Better

Cancers are big softies n I love them :/

Crabs 💕

Pisces are boring and “fake nice”.

Same reasons. The Pisces I’ve met can be really low in spirit and kind of pessimistic. Also too emotional. And that’s coming from a Cancer. I’m not saying they’re horrible, I have a Pisces friend, but it’s harder for me to really understand them.

Cancers are kinder

A little bit more guarded than pisces, a little harder.

Less emotionally and less manipulative than the other one

Even though again, I am a Cancer, I think Cancer we the cardinal aspect embodies the aqueous ability to heal and mend even the most profound and acrimonious of emotional wounds, she is the matriarch of the zodiac one of the two luminaries and embodies the Yin aspects of leadership nessecary to carry others forward whilst maintaining compassion for them.

They’re so adorably cute

Usually quite strong.

Pisces people love to try and emotionally manipulate people, then get mad when people call them out on their shit and try to act like a victim.

Cancers are far more down to earth and realistic than Pisces.

Has more of a leader persona, can take charge and put feelings aside for greater good.

They’re more reliable and easier to make sense of

Cancer is more stable

Cancers are a lot tougher than Pisces and less messy in general.

while still a little too sensitive for me, caner’s at least seem to care more about being present in an emotionally trying situation than pisces’s are

Cancers are more direct or less tolerant about shit they don’t like. If they don’t like someone, for example, they may not fight them about it but they will just walk away. I think they are able to give everything of them to people they love but if they don’t recieve everything back then they just suddenly are fucking empty it’s scaring. I feel like Pisces (or maybe I just met stupid ones) try to be good with everyone and therefore are not loyal. Like I won’t expect my Pisces friend to stand up for me given the case because I know they wouldn’t risk being liked. I don’t like that at all.

Cancers are more practical. Pisces is loyal too, but you end up having to drag them out of their own messes most of the time before they are able to help you out

I’m still gonna choose my own sign of course

Cancers, when motivated, can do so, so much. Pisces just kinda… wander. It’s like, what are you even doing. What do you care about. Why are you here.

When developed, go getters and passionate people

Cancers are sweet and protective, Pisces don’t really have a sense of loyalty and are flighty

less crybaby

Cardinal and enterprising spirit, have stronger wills and ambitions, are doers who focus on the earthly life and its needs

my best friend is a cancer…i dont really have a reason i like both equally

#water signs #poll results #cancer #scorpio #pisces #shit is hilarious 🤣 🤣

50 notes · View notes