#And how much fear and pain comes with it

[revenantghost]

I forget who in bookclub mentioned this (pls call yourself out and I'll @ you with credit in this post), but someone pointed out that we don't know if anyone knows what Meryl went through. What she knows. Wolfwood has a conversation with her earlier, but it's just about what Vash is, probably clueless as to their shared memories. Vash doesn't give any hints he has any idea what she's witnessed--he's so fearful of what he is and what he's capable of, it's possible he doesn't know what his powers are. Eventually, at the very earliest, it's seven months from now before we see her admit aloud what she's seen. And, hell. With how much Wolfwood and Vash tuck away and don't talk about, why would she feel like she could talk about it?

And yet, despite all that. Despite having trauma unlike anything she's ever known in her life before. Despite having trauma that no human should have to bear. Despite not being sure what to even do with that, with herself, with Vash (who she's seen witness and commit unspeakable horrors!). She still chooses kindness. She still chooses love and peace. She still chooses Vash.

We see a lot of people handle their trauma in really shitty ways in this story; in many ways, it's a story deeply about trauma. And Meryl, isolated and afraid and with this pain fresh within her, doesn't turn away from what she knows is good and worth saving on this hellhole planet. And, idk, I think that's beautiful, and I love her for it.

#Trigun #TrigunBookclub #Trigun Meta #Listen the jokes about being traumatized by chicken Vash are HILARIOUS #But my girl is handling this so well considering #And beautifully #She shouldn't HAVE to bear it #But she shows that you CAN #Regardless of whether you deserve what happened to you (no one ever does) #And how much fear and pain comes with it #I feel like the magnitude of this was lost on my first readthrough #And it's not perfect #BUT #I SAID WHAT I SAID AND I MEANT IT

[floorpancakes]

ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think

#alien stage #ramble #idk #till alien stage #as an xxxholic fan i want to see caged birds fly and all the fear and loss and grit and progress that comes with it #till era would be so fucking fun #especially when characters r built arnd one person or one goal or something you want to see them find new things to suffer or thrive abt (?) #random inconsequential thought imagine till hooking up with hyunas besties and they become a resistance throuple #idk i just want till to experience the wider world as the one that was the most restrained by his heart AND literally #cause even compared to the other anakt kids he suffered so much in those damn buildings and labs #i wanna see him freed and what that means for ivans legacy as the person who was unseen but someone who both contributed to and desperately #tried to stop his pain and confinement no matter what #honestly the thing i wanna see most rn off the top of my head is #till coming to terms with what he knows and sees about ivan now #no matter how he feels about it i think ivan wont be forgotten that easily #i want to know whats going thru tills head rn immediately in this moment #cause this snapped him in some way and he is acutely aware of things he didnt even notice before #while handling the mizi desth thing #that he assumed was happening #if he is assumedly saved i want to see the explosion that is knowung mizi is alive #knowing ivan is dead and how ivan felt #and knowing he has a way out of the cage #because its a triple whammy #i want to see his brain exploding in real time thinking abt all these things #and what sort of person the revelations will make him become #also i want to see mizi and till have like an actual conversation cause itd be a wildcard especially right now

[smile-files]

as a jew, seeing what all of these israeli leaders have said is sickening. as a jew, anti-palestinian rhetoric is sickening. as a jew, zionism is sickening.

how dare my people -- a people who've been massacred, ethnically cleansed, dehumanized, forcibly removed, and discriminated on religious grounds for their entire existence -- do the same to another people? how dare we turn our backs on them, when they suffer like we have?

i understand that so much of us have been fed zionist propaganda our entire lives; the same happened to me. i understand the desire for a homeland where we don't have to fear antisemitism at every turn; i want that too. but it doesn't take much thought to understand that a homeland for us, which actively oppresses and kills another people, is antithetical to what we want.

if you, as a member of an oppressed group, believe that your freedom and safety can only exist when you oppress another group, you are acting no better than the people who oppressed you. such a belief is horrible, and cynical, and wrong.

as a jew, i want jewish people to be happy and safe and connected to our heritage; as a jew, i also want other peoples to be happy and safe and connected to their heritage.

don't call the palestinians "amalek". you are turning us into amalek.

doesn't the torah tell us to have empathy for those beaten down by the world? doesn't the torah tell us to make the world a better place? doesn't the torah tell us to free people of their shackles and help them escape oppression?

i have so many israeli aunts and uncles and cousins; i fear for their safety. of course, my parents do as well. i'm worried that this fear, in addition to anything they were led to believe earlier in life, is placing my parents even deeper in the zionist camp. but it doesn't have to be this way! my relatives' safety does not rely on the continued oppression of gaza!

it is easy to be uninformed, to be swayed by propaganda, to blindly hope that israel was founded in good faith -- but we can't lie to ourselves. a world steeped in senseless hatred (which we are now promoting!) could never be a home for us. none of us are free, liberated, equal, until all of us are.

as a jew, to other jews, i implore that we stand with our palestinian siblings. i want us all to be happy and safe. i want us all to live in harmony -- in the holy land and around the world. that is what we all deserve. <3

#melonposting #i apologize for not reblogging/posting much stuff about israel/palestine until now #i kept having this fear that my mom would see and get angry at me #but what do i care? i want both jews and palestinians to be happy #oh yeah. and i keep hearing the argument that 'jews living in the holy land before israel was established weren't treated well' #i don't know if that's true or not... but does it matter? #like of course antisemitism is horrible. but that can be dealt with #forcibly taking over their land is not the answer #like if israel were never a thing and people saw that jews living in the holy land didn't have rights #they'd do something about it! #and if you think they wouldn't (which is a fair thing to think)... well then you should do something about it!!! #don't solve oppression with more oppression you idiot!!!!! #no positive change will ever come to a world which doesn't think positive change can happen #and oppression is not positive change. #and it also pains me how so much of zionist rhetoric feeds off of post-holocaust fear #and i get it. i get that in the mid 20th century we were so scared and angry after the holocaust #and that we desperately wanted a safe haven #i will never not empathize with that fear and rage because it's justified #but that is no excuse to oppress another group of people. there are other ways to be safe and happy i promise #just stop hurting each other... please... you're not helping anyone... #palestine #israel #zionism

[angelofviscera]

on self sacrifice as love

I will mitski / love and pain (also known as vampire) edvard munch / snow and dirty rain richard siken / the kiss eva claessens / garden song phoebe bridgers / in blackwater woods mary oliver / the prodigal returns karen swenholt / rest energy marina abramović / red door julien baker / poems from an email exchange hanif abdurraqib

#its like. being so conditioned to take on the burdens of the ones u love and the overwhelming vulnerability that comes with love but also #the fear and the pain and sometimes losing yourself a little too much because all of what you see of yourself #is how youre reflected back at yourself through their eyes #so its not like. an inherently negative or toxic thing but its this sense of sadness at always needing to be in pain and have pain because #you view love as giving someone permission to destroy you and just trusting them to make it an easy clean up #mitski #phoebe bridgers #julien baker #web weave #web weaving #poetry #art #edvard munch #love #my web weaves

[good-beans]

I know most of our focus goes (rightfully) to the trial songs, but I genuinely believe Baptism of Fire is equally a masterpiece of meaningful writing and intense vocal acting

Incoming tag rant because I need to yell about this, feel free to yell back

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #like the other vds have good writing about the character and whatever social issue their crime focuses on #but this one is very pointedly about YOU #its about the audience. its about the milgram project. its about self reflection. its about self-appointed roles. its about you #even if you didnt vote t1 or anything the whole things is calling on you to reflect on your own judgements of others #how you treat people who come off rougher. how you treat people who have made a (bad but) common mistake. #do you also find entertainment in seeing people dragged down and suffering because it would 'serve them right?' #but es always remains in control of the situation. the drama doesnt end with 'and fuuta was right - you guys suck!' #its clarified that situations are different and have nuance. we are reminded to look at things with nuance. #then we are smoothly re-immersed in the story #and then!! the acting itself!!! #arthur lounsbery put his whole fussy into that performance (<- fuuta pussy) and i am in his debt every day for it #in both his vds hes just super expressive and fun to listen to #i dont understand japanese but he packs so much interesting intonation and emotion into every word -- im obsessed listening to him #he nails all the subtle emotions fuuta has: the pouts and outrage as well as underlying fear grief insecurity and immaturity #and then baptism of fire hes just... Wailing #like mahiru has her innocent and pathetic cries of pain in her sweet voice that works for her character but fuutas pain feels much more raw #the way hes practically sobbing at the end -- his voice cracking and screeching throughout -- the whimper of pain #its so unbearably intense!! it hurts!! and its supposed to!! but hes just so raw with it #and dont even get me started on his pained hysteric laughter omg.... #its just. a masterpiece. #i always appreciate the vds but i dont think ive enjoyed/relistened to one as much as this one #okay WAIT im back to add one more thing because im obsessed with ths idea of intentions #specifically in milgram i think the intention behind the murders are very important to consider #so i love love love the huge focus on 'i didnt expect/mean for this to happen' #plus as a general theme in fiction i think its sooo juicy when good intentions get fucked up #so i loved the repetition of that #fuuta is such a special case because he genuinely had no desire or expectation for his victim to die #(maybe kazui too? but he doesn't say so in his vd like fuuta does)

[oatbugs]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago. #(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year) #(hed come across the bridge on a lake) #we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared. #it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much. #and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine. #she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

[tomgrcg]

#tomgreg #succession #successionedit #do u like what i did with the 'i fear' #>:)c #i'm trying to not be completely delusional #i don't know just how much greg fears staining tom as of yet #let's manifest that he fears it more than anything #the last pic is like. times tom gave up something of himself to make greg feel better btw if that wasn't clear #anyway there's probably more like this coming #i love to be in pain #and they are so fucking poetic

[thatonecrookedsmile]

"I tried to warn you. I really did. But its too late now. He's coming."

Here comes the Yellow Rabbit.

-----

Five nights really is looking like a horror movie now, huh?

After a painful week of avoiding spoilers (I ended up being spoiled anyway lol) I finally managed to watch the FNAF movie last Thursday. I really liked it! I had a very positive experience at the end of the day. Cool film.

I've been doing this drawing for a while now. I started this one some time before the film came out. The idea had come to me a while ago, but this drawing only really started to shape like,one week and a half before the 27th. The initial idea was partially created while I was putting together the film with the scenes in the trailers and TV spots in my head. You know, trying to predict how the movie is going to play out. And I thought that this, this and this scene were all taking place on the same night. Which i guess it turned out to be the case. (Also, notice how none of these images are in the film itself lol)

After watching the film, I only had to slightly modify a few details here and there, and boom, drawing completed.

I know I've said this about other drawings of mine, but I'm proud of this one. Happy to not only finish this, but that it turned out good.

It's been a good while since I drew something FNAF related. Nice to finally be able to do what I was saying I was going to do since 2021 lol.

But,yeah! the FNAF Movie. Neat movie. I want to watch it again (at home obviously, it's not like I can go to the cinema again anytime soon haha)

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's movie #mike schmidt #vanessa shelly #spring bonnie #the yellow rabbit #william afton #crookedsmileart #fnaf movie spoilers #fnaf spoilers #kinda;sort of #the movie dialogue I used is a bit spoiler-y I guess? and maybe the scene that the drawing is possibly one #But that was all in the trailer so it's not much of a spoiler #tagging as a precaution #and for fear of people coming to scold me for not tagging my spoilers lol #on an unrelated note: wow lighting in this one was a pain in the ass to make look good #But at least it turn out alright in the end so it's all fine #also;drawing animatronics is hard; I don't know how you all can do this #drawing spring bonnie was def something; ok

[newfeeling77]

i wish i had gotten properly medicated n therapized earlier 1. bc it hasnt even started yet i had one therapy appointment and i wont be feeling the effects of medication for another month and a half and 2. im already feeling regretful of the time i wasted these past few months being depressed. not unhappy just apathetic and frustrated. bc objectively im having a good time n learning new things and making friends like its a really good semester but i havent been able to enjoy it bc im currently incapable of enjoying anything. i can appreciate things, i can acknowledge the positive aspects of my life but they dont give me any positive feelings. instead im just angry or overwhelmed all the time

#at least im not anxious. #it felt nice to hear the therapist say shes not worried about anxiety levels n wants to focus on my trauma and depression #bc i really am mostly free of generalized anxiety. and social anxiety. #like im not having panic attacks n im carefree to a fault #more of my pain now comes from shame about something i did bc i wasn’t feeling anxious enough and did or said something odd or upsetting #but not to a point i should be crying n hating myself you know. i guess its a sort of anxiety to worry so much how you come off to ppl n if #youve upset them etc #but i dont really feel that constant stress and fear anymore its cool #now i just need to get the positive emotions going again n i truly believe i will be unstoppable itll be crazy

[quietwingsinthesky]

leviathan!charlie also takes care of the weird plothole about her going from “hunting & hunters are scary and dangerous wtf get away from me” to “oh wow murdering people is soooo fun, guys!!! i just wish it was more magical!!!” because in this scenario it is not her going into hunting and somehow being in complete denial of the bloody reality of it, but her actually regressing to more violent tendencies in order to keep in contact with the Winchesters, who are basically the only friends she has.

leviathan!charlie who teamed up with them to take down dick specifically so that she would not have to act like she did in purgatory and could find a new life, but inevitably being drawn into the black hole of hunting/winchester-related violence. leviathan!charlie who sets out like vampires can to feed on animals…. and the occasional asshole, but that one shaky spot on her moral ground gives her room to backslide into seeing the monsters she hunts as just more assholes to eat (regardless of the fact that they are her!!! she’s a monster too! she just got lucky siding with sam and dean first!) leviathan!charlie who tries to hold onto the humanity she painstakingly taught herself, but the longer she’s around the winchesters, the harder it is to be anything but a monster.

#leviathan!charlie is both a comedic and a tragic concept btw. the same as regular charlie. #i never bought that her reading the spn novels was enough to convince her that Hunting Good and Cool. especially when she kept getting hurt. #but her clinging to hunting to cling to sam & dean (her literal only friends and connections that we know of)? #yeah. that i can see. #and with leviathan!charlie it becomes even worse for her. because how much of her is useful as a hunter. and how much will become too much #for sam & dean not to hunt her. #leviathan!charlie 🤝 castiel: if we fuck up too badly our best friend will kill us. and we might just let him. #oughuhhhh dark!charlie & good!charlie who are. basically the same as in canon. except that dark!charlie uses leviathan methods of killing #openly. and good!charlie will not eat anything. she’s fucking starving herself. #and what im saying is that Dean cuts dark!charlie’s head off to keep her from going inside the house instead of breaking her arm. #it doesnt kill her but its just. its an awful thing. sam inside watching as good!charlie bites down on the good!wizard guy and kills him #and then the skin on her neck rips open and she screams in pain and fear as she comes apart #sam gingerly carrying both her body and her head out to dark!charlie in the same state #dean staring at what he’s done…. #and charlie both metaphorically and literally putting herself back together… #leviathan!charlie #charlie bradbury #spn

[daz4i]

i am so angry about being alive it's not even funny anymore

#what's the point in any of this 😐 i will literally never be okay. i never have been okay. I've had debilitating anxiety since birth #it's not going to go away it's literally getting worse as i grow older and so is my depression #hate to hear ppl say it gets better when I've been gradually getting worse since i was like 13 #which is extremely funny. bc when i was 13 is when most of my suicide attempts took place #at least i was active and took initiative back then 🙄 i only became too tired to keep trying since #i don't want to kill myself i just want to be dead. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm always feeling awful. nothing is worth it #even when i feel good it's like 1% of how bad i always feel. and it's not like there's much good to go around anyway #i don't understand now people don't constantly feel like losing their mind over how shit life is truly #there's this line in nlh actually. where yozo asks how come ppl don't constantly want to kill themselves. and yeah felt #i can barely distract myself anymore bc nothing is stimulating enough esp when I'm alone #and i don't. care enough. about anything. to want to stay alive. like i said nothing is worth it. idc if ppl would be sad sorry #i don't even know what I'm saying anymore man. idk why I'm doing so bad rn. it's been a tough week ig. #nothing actually happened but everything is just. less than average. a little worse than neutral. just enough to be grating #i don't want to kill myself but i wish i could #wish i wasn't a coward wish i didn't fear permanent damage or hospitals or even just pain i have no control over #nothing happened but everything sucks. existence is disappointing. i would like to stop #vent #suicide // #negative // #ask to tag #i genuinely don't know what to do now. i can't distract myself. i probably shouldn't fall asleep when I'm like that #(at least if i don't want to have nightmares like i did all week and for tomorrow to be even worse) #tbh i doubt i even COULD fall asleep like that lol my brain's working too fast as usual 😐 #sigh. sorry for the vent. trying to clear some of the dirt off my psyche

[skunkg1rll]

...

#idk i just feel so scared????? men are soooo terrifying #like i can think a guy is normal then the more i learn pfc he gets off to rape!!! #like it really feels like all men love rape and idk it's just so... #even if they use the excuse of only fantasizing abt it .. theyre fantasizing abt raping someone (mostly raping women lol) #if they watch a show and a horrific rape scene comes on they get turned on. bc they like the idea of raping a woman. they like rape itself #if i watch a scene like that i get distressed nd heartbroken nd sad bc *i* see the humanity of the woman nd the extreme pain nd suffering #she's being caused. i dont get turned on???? i feel sad and feel empathy for her #but men dont feel empathy for pieces of meat that much is clear #idk its just so sick and vile that they see a woman being caused extreme pain and they like it #they get turned on??? wtf is wrong w them how can u even do that?? #and im supposed to.... be in a relationship w a man??? who doesnt view me as a human who gets off on hurting nd abusing women..... #like even him i love said that he got off on the idea of me being asleep nd not being able to consent skksksks #how do u think like that abt someone u supposedly love????? if i love a woman i'd never think abt hurting her or seeing her in distress???? #and if you're w a guy who openly admits to jacking off to raping you how do u know that he wont actually do it? #if hes in a situation w you nd he has the opportunity means nd motivation nd he knows u wouldnt say anything.. why would he not rape u??? #idk men are so fkn terrifying i dont rlly wanna be anywhere near any man like theyre so sick #rape is heinous. and clearly men dont care bc theyre always the rapists so why would they care abt the fear of being raped #no idk. even if i love a man sm it hurts i dont think its safe or smart to be with one. they'll always rape or abuse or hurt u

[spideyladman]

Thinking about the disturbing implications of Cain's story and destiny from the Bible rn

#cw religion #no because like. cain didn't come out of the womb throwing rocks; how did he even think that it was healthy to stone his brother? it leads #me to believe that potentially; he either saw the angel war going on in the sky and thought that those who stayed in heaven and were treated #well; even with the violence that happened (from what he had seen and potentially heard); were. well how to say it. their actions were #normal. god created everything; and can think anything as normal. or he saw his parents fighting. i refuse to believe that adam and eve were #one of those healthy couples; even after the biting of the apple and getting kicked out of the garden of eden. i fear that cain and abel saw #the two fighting; potentially even going as far as to threaten each other with stones; and when the two excused it; the kids thought of it #as normal. keep in mind: violence is not born out of nowhere unless you're god; violence is taught; seen; heard of. it didn't make it any #better that there seemed to be no other people outside of the family yet that could tell them that that behaviour was wrong. so imagine #cain's shock upon seeing his brother not breathing. the shock that he murdered him. the shock that the threats that his parents did to each #other or that the angel war happening; were not normal. his brother was dead now. of course he had to lie when god came by. he quite surely #felt panicked to the point that he accidentally made a comeback to god. how could he not? he was a kid. they both were. and he felt regret. #he felt remorse. he felt anger to himself. and yet; god punished him. cain thought it was fair; because he killed his brother. but after a #while; it didn't seem fair. as he grew up; he thought that god telling him that he would be cursed to spend eternity roaming around the #earth would only last for until he was in his 30s. mortality rates were quite surely high back then; so he naturally thought that what god #said was metaphorical. because caine felt that way. that his remorse and anger and pain would roam eternally on earth. but after his #partner; and his children; and his grandchildren; and his great-grandchildren died; it didn't seem to be fair anymore. he wanted to die. he #had witnessed and felt everything: the flood; the crossing of the sea; the plagues; the goddamned everything. he still felt pain. he knew #why he was cursed; but he felt like what god did; was just plain cruel. he felt as though purgatory and getting juried out to see if you #were getting sent to hell or to heaven; was much more simplier; and had less pain; than dealing with the fact that you were now just a #walking body. something that used to be a person. something that should've been dead a long time ago. and yet. he was still alive. he just #wanted it to end. he knew what he did was wrong. but he just wanted to go back home. he wanted to start from scratch and be protective of #his brother and run away from god's view. but he couldn't now. he was cursed. he is now just a legend. a myth. a terror tale amongst the #folks in several towns that swear that they had seen him amongst the shadow. he must've been. after all; he looked ghastly enough to have a #tale or two written about him. ...would cain go near jesus? to ask him to please grant him mercy from this thing that he had now become? #or would he frightened? fearing that jesus would be as cruel as his god? obviously caine would be worried. jesus is supposed to be god's #child after all... i don't know it's just he reminds me of twilight sparkle and i just had to write this down- #cw corpse #spideygal #spideygal oc

[shwarmii]

it's just me and my Homegoods' autumn leaf print in black microfiber blanket against the world

#i apologize if im being incoherent tonight. its bc i am chatty when ive gone without sleep for too long #all the lines are blurred. the filter is gone. i am just gonna say/do anything to distract from thiS STUPID FUCKING NAUSEA AHHH #v tempted to watch a ghibli movie on my phone if this keeps up. ive been nauseous fOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT. STOP IT #ive heard of/experienced painsomnia before (insomnia induced by pain). but is nauseomnia a thing?? idk how to spell #me all the time: boo streaming sucks. own movies instead. but the dvd #also me: i am buying these movies to stream from my phone whenever i am sick/have an attack #incredibly illegal that MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER doesnt have my FAVORITE DUB EVER on streaming anywhere #like bitch Castle Of Cagliostro saved my fucking life bc i was stuck in a pitch dark room with no electrocity and it was in #a strange house and my family was on the opposite side of the house and i was having my first anxiety/panic attack #and i had a fear of the dark and thought i was gonna die. so then i went ''might as well watch something nice while i die'' and my #portable dvd player was all charged up and i had brought 8 dvds with me. i was like 10? maybe younger. and one of them was #Lupin III: Castle Of Cagliostro bc my dad was a Miyazaki nut as SOON as the movies were coming out with English dubs #of course he was grabbing Miyazaki's directorial debut. and David Hayter voice Lupin/the Manga Studios dub iS BETTER #bob bergen as Lupin's english va in Caglisotro is FINE but so much is clunky and unnatural about that dub's script #aND YET ITS THE VERSION ON ALL THE STREAMING VERSIONS. AND NOT THE MANGA STUDIOS DUB. smh let me watch mY #FAVORITE/COMFORT MOVIE WHILE IM SICK. DAVID HAYTER'S VOICE IS PIVOTAL TO MY ENJOYMENT. I AM ATTACHED #someone either let me download that movie onto my phone or else surgically remove Whatever Is Causing My Nausea pls and thanks #diary dump #shwarmi #me

[gonersgoners]

sometimes i remember these panels and i lose my ability to keep sane

#GG rambles #and all the panels inbetween really #whenever these two are close to each other i can feel my whole being heal that's how hard i'm in deep #this manga and these two characters have kept me afloat for a whole year. and the clowning is just the cherry on top #their dynamic their relationship their dialogues everything about them makes me so happy #i'm rereading some scenes and i'm smiling. i'm forgetting the stomach pain i have and that's how much these two boost my morale #they mean so much to me. sanji is one of the most relatable characters to me i've ever come across and zoro is of inspiration #they just mean so much to me. it's not often i get to feel so strongly for fictional characters and they definitely are up there with #my absolute favorites of all #i'm feeling a lot. i'm feeling a lot and i have a lot of brainrot #yeah don't mind me and the fact that i built an entire modern AU out of my fixation on their dynamic because i just #needed to consume more material on them so i decided to just make the material myself #a deep sense of fear and shame prevents me from talking about it but maybe one day i'll be able to create the content. put it on canvas #and just admire these two characters for real and out loud. like i used to time ago

[cherie-valentine]

I am once again pining for a moment *just a moment* where they show the infected are just that... infected people. Not zombies. Not undead monsters. Infected people being mind controlled by a fungus that keeps them hostage in their own bodies not letting them die even when it does the most horrific things to them like push out their eyes and split their skull open.

Just a small glimpse into the true agony and sadness of these people who had been infected by this fungus.

#I remember a part in the game where i was watching the runners cradling their heads and crying to themselves #and just how they whimper and pant as they're being vontrolled by this fungus #and all the times you come across infected eating people and you can hear them gagging on the human flesh and mourning what they're doing #it's so horrifically tragic to know that this person is going through so much pain and fear and is powerless to stop it #it's hard to forget when they're running at you trying to rip you to pieces but that is still a person in there #and they're suffering #man i gotta shut up before i make myself cry over this fictional disaster upon humanity #the last of us #tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo