#And Idk if they'd care about me saying all this

[wickjump]

hey.

would you like to hear an xtale siblings thought?

rhetorical question.

(abuse mention bc its the fucking xtale siblings)

so. according to jakei (via cornmayors twitter), xpapyrus is "the kind of person who would harvest his own food", which is pretty cute i think. ik corn has a comic abt xasriel being into gardening, and i think theres some canon stuff that might support that, too? so yeah neat, papyrus and asriel/flowey friendship prevails!! they have a common interest/hobby, thats pretty cute, yknow?

but like. i was thinking, right? what would make xpap want to garden? not that he necessarily needs a reason, but..

and i mean the (possible) explanation is pretty damn clear. its been shown before that xgaster doesnt care abt his kids and doesnt seem to provide for them most of the time. im guessing they went hungry a lot as kids.

and like xpap has been shown to be more outspoken, defying orders and/or talking back on multiple occasions (sometimes making cross step in to "correct" him to avoid or at least soften xgasters wrath), so i think if he was hungry hed just say it, and depending on his mood xgaster would either tell him thats not his problem or begrudgingly give them something (or make xalphys go buy food or cook or whatever)

but cross? cross wouldnt say a fucking word. he could be dying of starvation and hed say hes just fine to avoid the potential punishment of "inconveniencing" xgaster

so like. im thinking. what if xpap started growing his own food because he didnt want to be so dependent on someone who couldnt be assed to provide for them? because he was tired of going hungry and being punished for trying to get the only person who could do something abt that to actually... do something? because he was tired of seeing his brother suffer in silence because he was too scared to say anything?

i can see him finding some like.. tomato seeds or something. maybe just planting a slice from food xgaster finally brought them in the hope that it grows into a plant eventually. cross would definitely help him care for the plants. maybe xalphys would occasionally bring him books about gardening or new seeds or just tell him general knowledge so he could more successfully grow things.

idk like. we see a lot of cross caring for xpap (bc of course he would, hes his older brother), but xpap explicitly caring for and providing for cross in return makes me bash my head into the wall /pos like ik thats normal. to yknow. care for and provide for your family. but god damn.

they make me violently ill.

(this was very xpap centric bc im very normal abt him (lie) hope youre ok w that)

vomits glitter everywhere youre soright..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also dont worry ily xpapyrus ilysm..... xpapyrus u deserved better... i love any characters from any au theyre all so cool....

UGHHHHHHHHHH i love it when younger siblings take care of the older ones,,, ugh.. .., i mean xalphys is the youngest of the three, meaning papyrus would technically be the middle sibling but yk what. that makes it better actully imo. middle sibling takes ccare of the other two.

ANYWAY yes. xpap is the most outspoken, as you said, out of them all about xgaster's mistreatment. while cross is silent and alphys is indifferent (outwardly) towards xgaster, xpapyrus is the one with the strongest sense of justice. cross is anxious, xalphys pretty much had her will to fight stripped away from her, but xpapyrus still has that spark in him, and that spark remains despite everything. he'd tell xgaster that he's hungry, because he's hungry, dammit, and if xgaster doesn't feed him, he'll take matters into his own hands. i can imagine xgaster picking a burger up for him after hours of nagging, and xpapyrus plants the whole tomato slice in a bunch of dirt in a tupperware bowl for later.

xpapyrus would defend those plants with his life if he had to because to him, as a child, i think they'd be synonymous with 'he doesn't have complete power over us. look, this is something i did on my own, something he doesn't control'. it would be the first bit of independence he's ever really had. xasriel probably helped as well because he thought it was just a fun hobby of xpapyrus' and not a means to not starve. this also probably helped cement xpapyrus and cross' loyalty to the dreemurr family,,

im ill about them too UGH.... the xtale siblings (+ chara/frisk) are my favorites ever and i just...man!!! the way xgaster abused them all in so many different ways is SO overlooked in this fandom and its my number one duty to make sure eveyrone knows how terrible xgaster is,,.!!! hes a child beater!!!!!!! cross, xpapyrus, xchara, xfrisk, and probably xalphys were beaten children!!!!!!

#rambling again #its my favorite au... xtale..wow... #xtale papyrus #xpapyrus #xalphys #xtale alphys #cross sans #xtale #underverse #utmv #undertale #xgaster #cw neglect #cw child abuse #cw child neglect

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

I NEED a lil fic thing, a snippet, a sentence, ANYTHING about the boys realizing Lucien is in fact, not a cosplayer and is in fact, a whole ass demon.

That plus the lil au of all the listeners being related finding out too

I CANT WRITE FOR SHIT BUT I IMAGINE IT TO BE REALLY REALLY FUNNY, BUT MAYBE A LIL ANGSTY TOO???? IDK?????

A WHAT???

Rook being the protective older sibling grabbed Angel away from the demon and pointed a knife at him. "BACK UP!" Shouting caused everyone to look at them, Auron was surprised when he saw the knife. Getting up quickly to Rook he tried to ease them, slowly standing by their side.

"Rook, dear what are you doing?" Cautiously asking his lover, Angel was trying to say something but was shushed by Rook.

"This fucking asshole is a demon!" Hatred was all in their voice as they pointed the knife at Lucien still. Other people started standing between Rook and Lucien, even their twin Boo was wondering how the fuck they came to that. And them seeing that no one was listening they looked back to Angel. "Angel, I mean this so fucking much tell them really how you met him!" Commanding their sibling.

Angel locked up as all eyes fell on them, "We...we met when walking to our apartments he was carrin-" Rook glared hard at them causing them to clam their mouth shut. Looking down from those eyes they used when someone was lying right in their face, They always used it when one of te siblings were lying to big dawg.

"Rook don't glare at them like that!" Boo snapped at their older twin. Other siblings making a comment too how their being to hard on them and the boyfriend. They all knew how Rook tested all their partners but this was going to far!

"Angel, tell us the fucking truth, NOW!" Pressure was going on Angel as they felt tears form in their eye. Auron was pleading to Rook quietly to calm down but Rook didn't pay him any mind. Angel cracked before anyone could say anything more.

"He's a demon yes! But I love hi so much Rook please he isn't bad he literally loves to cook please-" The siblings gasped as everyone looked at Lucien. The big red man took a step back and was looking very nervous, what is he suppose to do? He knew if they truly knew him they'd hate him, but he understood why Angel outed him.

Big dawg, the eldest sibling finally came back and saw the scene, "Yo what the fuck is going on here?!" Looking from the crowd of everyone and Lucien on the side they saw his horns and legs glow brighter. Causing the temperature to rise in the room, this made everyone start coughing and fanning themselves. Rook though didn't let up.

"Angel what the fuck? You summoned a fucking demon and didn't think to call or tell us? He....." Their voice got quiet as they realize something, "DOES HE FUCKING OWN YOUR SOUL?" A hush went through the room as Rook looked freaked out for their younger sibling.

"Yes, he does." Defeat was all over Angel's face as they looked at Rook, "But he loves me! PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Rook turn quickly at Lucien and screamed.

"GET OUT! YOU FUCKING-" Lucien in a panic teleported, not caring where to go just needing to get away from them. Maybe they can be convinced? He didn't even hear Angel's wails as they tried to reach out for him before he left. They fell to the grown crying how they still loved him and not to leave.

#red rants #yuurivoice #yuurivoice lucien #yuurivoice angst #I loved this idea so much #red answers

[morsobaby]

For your ship thing, how about:

Beloterra (as in belos X terra, I think it's got potential)

Squirrelcrow (Squirreltail X Crowfeather)

Whitestorm X Tigerclaw

Also Jayce X Vic Vs Jayce X Mel?

Beloterra ??/10 uh well I had to mull over this one for a bit ngl. I've looked into it a bit. There was one post that explained and elaborated really well on why they'd make a good pair and it was good! But Belos hates witches. Regardless of how much they may have a good connection with him. But now, if we ignore that part.. Honestly I really have a hard time imagining Belos in any romance? Also Ironically despite being an actual White cracker™ who probably comes from the age that sees homosexuality as a mental illness, I cannot see him liking women lmao. Take this lightheartedly please. But in more seriousness, to me, Belos as a character truly shines in other relationship dynamics. Familial, authorial, antagonistic and so on. There's much more interesting stuff to be done with him and his personal relationships and I just can't really imagine the kind of person in the show that he'd fall for. Ngl I'd probably be annoyed if they gave him a romance in the show (obv. Depends alot on how it's done but Idk). This isn't me going "Bad guys don't get to have romance u_u" at all, this is just me saying I'm not sure how I'd vibe with shipping culture™ + Belos.

But I must admit, I think unrequited romances would be kinda fascinating for him. Either in the case that someone likes him and he doesn't like him back, or the other way around. Just something.. Complicated, ykno?

Anyway, despite that, I definitely accept this ship into my house 👍

Squirrelcrow 5/10 (I think you meant Squirrelflight? Bc I can't really think of who the other one there would be otherwise. Correct me if I'm wrong ofc). Nah. Don't see the appeal. I get that people make the argument that she and Crow coulda played off each other much nicer and had an interesting relationship, also minus the age gap Squilf has to Bramble, which is Def a plus. But meh. I'm not feeling it at all. I see your argument and I can respect it but I don't care about this ship at all. I really really don't think Crowfeather would be much better of a boyfriend than Brambly. Not as bad probably! But not good enough in my eyes. I think either someone else entirely or just. Let her be single and heal. With her friends and family. Please. I don't feel super strongly about this in the negative way either tbh but I definitely don't care for it at all. I ignore it.

Whitetiger 8/10 yes. Nods. I'm not like Uber invested in this ship but I definitely think it's a good one, especially considering what other ships Tigerclaw has in the Fandom.. *side eyes them in mild discomfort*. Anyway. I'm not sure if I have much to comment? I think it's cool how people noticed these two as an item bc before being introduced to the ship I wasn't aware they basically grew up together?? That's dope! I love their sort of. Relationship development I guess? At least as much as the fans have expanded upon it

Jayce x Vic vs Jayce x Mel - okay so. I think I've touched upon this briefly when I mentioned my aro(spec) hcs, and Mel was on it. I don't wanna say I dislike Mel and Jayce's relationship but it's really bland fr. It's painfully obvious how this is just "Man like woman, obviously!". Like Idk if it was just me but right up until they boned i was 90% convinced she'd turn out to be a twist villain or stab him in the back or just, like have some. Suspicious things going on. Her interest and interactions with Jayce were not romantic at all imo, if anything I'd probably have to say it just seemed like pure lust. Which, good for them I guess, that's valid too. But you get what I mean?? There were no sparks. They sure had A dynamic, but not a romantically coded one. To me at least.

With that said I'm not gonna protest the fact that they're together, even though I'm just facepalming at it. I'll just let it exist since clearly that's how they wanna tell this story and apparently one gay couple is their maximum quota for this show (looks at Vi and Cait). However, Jayce and Viktor have an infinitely more interesting dynamic and a much more genuine feeling relationship. They actually seem to have a connection and care for each other as people, to an extent I don't see with Mel. To me it felt like she was more interested in Jayce for his inventions. I honestly do with it woulda been Jayce and Viktor, and not just bc "Gay uwu" but genuinely bc it would be very engaging to explore their relationship develop. Ofc, relationships don't need to be romantic to be engaging. But just, with Jayce being a poster boy of the upper class and Viktor rising up from the dumps, it would create interesting conflict for them! Explore that please! It was so cool seeing them work together bc they play off of each other so well! And they were given actual bonding moments!!!!

I'll just say. They both exist to me, in my heart. The way I see it, Jayce and Mel are queerplatonic and Viktor has Feelings™ for Jayce, who is probably a little suppressed about his own feelings for him. Ofc it does clearly seem that he cares for Mel as well. I don't feel annoyed enough to gloss over that. But to me this is how it works and I'll be fine if they explore Viktor and Jayce's relationship in a meaningful way later on.

Also I'm not hating on Mel btw. Tbh I kinda wish she'd turned out to be a bit more devious, that woulda been interesting to me. I feel like she was only allowed to be interesting towards the end of the season (before that she was honestly just "Hot,,, lady👀👀support Jayce inventions??? She is mysterious and graceful,, in a hot way")

#My thoughts #Ask game #Whitetiger #Eh I won't tag the others #Bc the fans of those ships use those tags #And Idk if they'd care about me saying all this #Idk #This is so fucking long lmao

[2bu]

im sorry but am i supposed to know who sent this lmao

edit: btw if this is anyone who i think it could be i think it's weird and hypocritical for you to continue to perpetuate stalker behavior towards me despite me making my own boundaries /very/ clear, especially if you've found yourself blocked by me. crazy how you guys continue to treat me this way and continue to assert that I'm the bad guy 👍🏼

#ducky.txt #why be anonymous when you could send it to my face? or is it because you're blocked? who knows! <3 #in all seriousness again its like. am i supposed to know who sent this? this could be about anyone and even then i dont... care #not that much #i think this is weirdo behaviour to do when i can't even pin down who could've sent this when it could be ANYONE #good for you though! can't say the same bc again: idk you #anyways i deleted it bc idk why you'd bother me this way when ive said and done fuck all but stick to myself and corpse pit/yuri club #i wouldn't go out of my way to do this to someone knowing they'd see it on christmas. it's not very nice nor very comforting. so win for yo #ig? #ig??? idk

[mtt-burger-emporium]

thinking about chara and the implications of the line "chara hated humanity. why, they never said..." like ok i KNOW something was happening at home. chara baby you didn't deserve that shit i'm so glad you fell down a thousand feet in a cave hole and right into the arms of people who would keep you fed roof over your head and would never raise their hand against you. "eradicate humanity" you're 10 years old how about eradicating your shitfucked surface fam by calling cps first

#soda.txt #chara #(ok idk if this will work but LEEEENGTHY discussion of child abuse below) #ok listen hear me out on this- i know the initial interpretation is a sui attempt WHICH I ALSO AGREE WITH- BUT LISTEN #i believe there was something else going on leading to the whole ''eradicate humanity'' bit and the obvious answer is an unsafe homelife #well. at least for me. #being around people (or perhaps adults) who hurt you and make you feel unsafe in a place where you should be welcomed with open arms and- #a promise of care would probably make any child feel like all of humanity was (in simple terms) cruel and uncaring #so hearing about somewhere they could GET AWAY FROM THAT? of course they'd take that opportunity and run. #chara was just lucky enough to fall into a place that pulled them out of the ideology of ''all of humanity is cruel'' #because the dreemurrs were kind and patient enough to take them in and give them a new family #and wouldn't anyone want that? #for the part of The Plan (the buttercups) i think.. i think that one was formed by the idea that chara felt obligated to- #pay the dreemurrs back for their kindness. not that the dreemurrs would have made them. just by their own mental code. #what better way to pay a kind family back- one that took you in and cared for you like one of their own- then by forming a plan to- #set their people free? #they've been stuck down there for so long. they've wanted to feel the sun for SO LONG. why not give yourself up to grant that dream? #idk if these thoughts are coherent. LOL sorry i kinda just started saying words huh #but its ok. #feel free to ask me questions ab my interp of chara btw teehee ^_^ i love talking about chara they're my favorite theyre so silly #ok now for the proper tags on this bitch #chara undertale #chara dreemurr #child abuse mention #suicide mention #tw child abuse #safeutdr #OH ANALYSIS TAG UHHH UMM #🧪lab notes

[fitzselfships]

Again, not self ship related but I'm posting it here so the person I'm talking about won't see it. Anyway I am thinking about my crush so much right now GOD I remember now how painful it is to have a crush </3

#like they're so nice and understanding to me #they're genuinely interested in hearing what i have to say #and I like listening to them talk #I just. wish I wasn't so awkward so we could have longer conversations because like. I could listen to them talk all day <3 #< part of me ebing so awkward is because I'm still recovering from A LOT of trauma stuff but they definitely inspire me to get better #but yeah sometimes I like I WANT TO TELL THEM HOW I FEEL SOO BAD #like right now I'm feeling that #but also. idk if they'd think it's weird #and idk if they feel as close to me as I feel to them #AND I care about them too much to risk ruining our friendship #curse my demiromantic ass for making me fall inlove with people I feel close to and puttung me through this again </3 #okay goodnight I'm going to go listen to jenny by studio killers and cry like i used to in middle school lol

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[pinkseas]

girl who thinks about xiaolumi too much literally while in the middle of writing abt them and then starts crying a little bit

#LISTENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. listennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. #aly.genshin #okay im jsut. gonna like say so many words #idk i had this Very Skewed Perception for a Very Long Time #that there was a certain kind of love and closeness only achievable through pain. #that you'd have to yank someones ribcage open and carve yourself out a place in their heart to really belong there #that was my first real lasting impression of true love. that for such intense trust and care to exist there had to be equal pain #for a while i thought All love was like that. and then the more i grew up the more i learned just how wrong i was #but even when i got to a point where id learned SO much and was doing SO much better #i genuinely didnt think that vulnerability could exist without pain #and i dont think that was something i thought about everyone. i think i believed that for Other People it wouldnt necessarily have to hurt #but for me? if i wanted to really actually be open and honest with someone? if i wanted to trust them wholly? #they'd have to tear me open and sew a piece of themselves right there in my chest and never let the wound close #that was what closeness meant. that was what trust meant. #and id rather never achieve true trust that led to that closeness than let someone do that to me again. #and then i met ash and craig and i started to believe maybe it didnt have to hurt. maybe you COULD be wholly vulnerable without things like #manipulation and pain and abuse and whatnot #but i still hadnt reached that point. still HAVENT reached that point. #and even though i found myself believing it was maybe possible. the belief wasnt wholly there? #i had no examples i couldnt think of anything or anyone who really truly loved each other and had such a deep intimate level of trust- #-without having to hurt each other to cause it #and then !!!!!!!!!!! those two. and all those fucking questlines and all the little details ingame #two people who've been left behind in one way or another and struggle to open themselves up to or really trust anyone else #SO used to working on their own SO used to being alone no one left to rely on no one left to let in. the entire world kept at arms length #but with each other !!!!!!!!! there's so much CARE #she falls and he catches her and thats it! shes saved. shes fine. #but he still holds on. he supports her as she catches her breath and really recovers. #keeps a hold on her hand and her waist and does the little squeeze thing before letting go. silent reassurance. silent faith. #and in the chasm there's just. she cares so MUCH about him she gets so worried !!!!!! #HELP I HIT A TAG LIMIT I TYPED SO MUCH MORE AND ITS JUST. GONE. reblogging this to continue hold on

[ff2-soda-pop]

anyone else just really not caring for the whole “raine is going to betray everyone” thing going on in the fandom or is it just me

#the owl house spoilers #the owl house #maybe its just the fact that raine is my favorite and has been the first character that like- i felt represented by and shit so im just like #extra defensive about them. but i just really dont like this theory? #like ive seen a lot of people going 'well they act like they're not saying something' and like. well i mean clearly they're not? comfortable #with eda taking their place because this is likely super dangerous and all. they've been trying to keep her out of this for awhile just to #keep her safe. obviously its gonna not sit right with them. but also this is kind of their main plan so what are they meant to do? #'hey actually i dont like this can we do something else' literally 24 hours prior to the day of unity? they'd need a backup plan and we dont #know if there IS a backup plan (besides darius' plan? idk if they're going there but). and then to add to it all they also promised luz edas #safety. BUT LIKE... HOW DO YOU PROMISE THAT? ik some people have called it suspicious how they reacted but like- who wouldnt react like that #this has a very high risk and this kid who clearly cares sm for eda just grabbed your arm and went 'promise me she'll be safe' like- #YOU DONT WANNA SAY 'NO' TO THAT?? BUT LIKE THERES NO GUARANTEE. #idk i just- i wanna go with the idea that they're good. because i want them to be good and i care about them #(and also i think it'd be really shitty to have them be a traitor. i dont want the one character ive been able to go '...they're like me' #about be a traitor okay. i would cry. /hj)

[arrowsperpetualcringe]

mmmm wow, i sure wish my friends would ✨talk to me✨

#texts me when I'm tired and exhausted from work and gets pissy when i don't reply asap #but also leaves me on read and doesn't say shit when im actually active in the group chat and suddenly you wanna be a lurker- #ight b #and aside from this one person everyone else just like #does not care #I'll be like 'hey im finally free wanna talk' #and it's just ' n o ' #like gyat dayum #I probably shouldn't say they don't care #but that's what it feels like #pick on me and vague about me when I'm not available and dodge me when i am #and everyone else is just content to not talk to me.... at all #and not to mention one time a friend was so ready to tell me and make sure I knew that this video game he got was more important than me #like that's actually literally what he said #like I don't expect to be top priority all the time #but goddamn. #idk what to make of this #sometimes i really just contemplate disappearing forever #it feels like that'd be the best option sometimes #because sometimes it doesn't feel like they'd notice anyway #vent #tw: vent #cw: vent #rambling

[scare-ard--sleigh]

what if i did it what if i took some classes and became an accountant and never had to deal with social media ever, ever again ????? 

#silver jelly #it's ummm been one of those days >> #work stuff #i was supposed to have a meeting with this man at 12:30. okay. cool! love that! #guy asks for a gcalendar notification so he doesn't forget bc we set this up last week--proactive; love to see that! #guy no-shows. eyeroll but whatever. guy messages us an hour after the meeting time saying 'sorry guys i thought this was 12:30 pst' #are you FUCKING kidding me??????????/ i am going to EAT YOU #so now i'm waiting around until 3:30 (bc whatever i have work to do anyway) for a meeting about stuff that apparently #does not matter anyway bc i made all this content under the pretense that we were revamping the whole site but we're not. so there's like. #no way to monetize it which is ofc all big boss cares about (predictable and honestly fair i get it) so it's all fucking moot anyway ahfjujh #i just wish they'd told me before i spent all this time and energy into making it stunning #i feel like that picture of charlie day with the cigarette nfjbghfjv i'm Losing it #i'm not even sure that i really want to be an accountant i just feel like people are so much more straightforward about money??? #like most of the problems i'm having are bad communication or people outright not being honest with me and that 2nd part is marketing babeyy #everything's so like 'That happened but how do we spin it THIS way; we can tell them xyz (even though it's really abz)' i just #i'm just sick of these little mind games and Trying To Figure People Out and management not listening in favor of talking circles #and it sucks because goddddd my work makes me so happy sometimes. the good parts are sooooooooo good. #but idk the past few days have felt like a real wakeup call. i say this like every four months but i'm not sure i can shake it this time

[sehtoast]

sometimes I want to post stuff I've written while in the feels but I also worry about clogging the blog with irrelevant stuff

I guess I'll rant in the tags but sometimes I try to do therapeutic writing and it helps but s i g h

#sehtoast rambles #I just... I had a really good day. a really fucking good past 24 hours. but someone had to say something #something fucked and rude and something that they'd be *hurt* if someone said to them #but because it was me. because it was to a trans person who they know is insecure about said topic... it was just fine #it's always okay for people to remind us of what we lack. but if we did it back... there'd be true hell to pay #idk i just feel like dog water now. always just the most insane pain that nothing I do or become will ever be enough #that I will be alone for choosing peace #and every fucking day. somehow some way someone throws it all in my face #I just want to feel like I'm worthy of anything #but I'm so often reminded that I'm not #all i wanted was to know I made someone I care about happy #I don't even fucking want anything in return. but it was nice to think for a second the interest might have been mutual. #for even a fuckin fraction of a second #then someone completely uninvolved reminded me that I lack and the person I care for won't look past that. #and I know objectively... those aren't the person I care for's words #but it still hurts to know my happiness needed to be shot down simply because I chose to find peace with my vessel #and I should be reminded at every opportunity that my peace is nothing so long as someone can find a laugh at the expense of it #and remind me that I will never be enough

[cetoddle]

i think if i did die barely anyone would really notice and i don’t just mean that in an edgy woe is me way i genuinely feel that this is true

#idk like i'm not really. especially important in anyone's life #like i feel like everyone who cares about me at all has other people who are just so so much more important #even my mother like i was sat on the couch head in my hands on the verge of another breakdown #and she was just like lol anyways guess what your sister did today #:| #i think the most ppl would feel if i did die or just. disappeared would be like #'aw :( that sucks. anyways.' #if anyone did care they'd get over it real fast is all i'm saying #notlooking 4 pity or anything just speaking my truth #i was thinking abt this while i was crying so hard i threw up last night <3 #no one except my cat noticed btw #snow.txt

[vivwritesfics]

🥹❤️👹👹

So I pretty please want one where the reader finds out that they were a bet?

But I do kinda want some flashbacks to thier whole relationship for the last maybe two years??

The drivers have obviously fallen for her at this point Nd have completely forgotten about

Maybe even thinking about proposing??

Let's say a mechanic accidentally or on purpose reveled the whole thing

You can make it as angsty as you want

Jaut please include smut ❤️👹👹👹

Thinking maybe lance,lando or maybe even mark???

Idk, you decide. I trust you 🫶🫶♥️♥️

warnings: smut, angst

"What the fuck did you just say?"

Lando fiddled with the ring box in his pocket. In just three days they were meant to go to dinner, and he was going to propose. But now, it seemed unlikely.

"Y/N," he said as he stepped towards her. Shaking her head she walked away. Lando knew better than to chase after her. He looked to Max, fury in his eyes, and then back to where she disappeared. He was well and truly fucked.

She returned to their apartment and bolted the door shut. There was no way she was letting Lando in. Whether he tried, she didn't know. She was in their bed, crying too hard to hear anything else.

They'd been together for two years. Two fucking years and it had been a lie. Did he ever really love her? She'd given up so much for him, completely turned her life around to try and be there for him. She'd left her family and moved out to fucking Monaco. And for what? For a fucking bet.

When the words had left Max's mouth she hadn't wanted to believe it. He had to be mistaken. But then Lando confirmed it and her heart snapped in two.

She could still remember the day they met. It was a club. The lights were flashing, the bass booming, and floor vibrating with the movement. Lando saw her. He stared for a moment, debating whether to go and talk to her.

"I dare you to go talk to her," Max (Fewtrell) shouted over the music. It wasn't a bad dare, his way of getting Lando to talk to a pretty girl.

She didn't know this, of course. What she knew was that an incredibly attractive man was approaching her. Whatever he was saying to her, she couldn't hear. They still danced the night away.

They went on proper dates after that. Hooked up before they made it official.

He'd taken her to dinner. After she'd had the brilliant idea to get drinks in a bar.

Fuelled by alcohol, Lando took her back to his place. Their kisses were a mess of tongue and teeth clashing together, but they didn't care. They barely pulled away from each other to pull their clothes off, leaving a trail of them from the apartment door to the bedroom.

He had her pushed up against the table as he gripped her ass. Her arms were wound around his neck, grinding against him. But Lando couldn't wait much longer. He pulled her into the bedroom, laid her down onto the bed, and fucked her like an animal.

The next morning his back was covered in scratches. Goddamn he loved the feel of them when he stretched up. "Be mine," he whispered as they laid together in the morning light, his fingers touching her bare skin.

That was two years ago. They'd been so in love for the last two years. She'd travelled with him to as many races as she could, sat with him while he streamed because they couldn't stand being apart. They went on holiday together, skiing and getting away to the sun.

He tried to teach her to play golf and how to game. She taught him about her passions. They became each others best friends and their partners.

And he'd thrown it all away.

When her crying stopped, Y/N finally heard him knocking on the apartment door, begging to be let in. She stood, wiped her tears, and marched towards the front door.

When she pulled it open, there he was. On his knees Lando held the ring box open, holding it towards her. "Will you marry me?"

With her arms folded over her chest she stared at him. "You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" She spat and Lando nodded his head. Still, he held the ring box towards her.

She sucked in a breath and looked down the corridor, trying to distract herself. "I think you should stay somewhere else tonight," she said quietly, unable to look into his eyes.

"Y/N, please-"

"We can talk tomorrow. Just give me some space. Please."

#lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #lando norris x reader smut #lando norris x you #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula one #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #ln4 #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader

[prettyboykatsuki]

warm-ups | gojo + nsfw + inspection

✮ tags ; afab + gn!reader (they are wearing a skirt / panties) but no gendered language, established relationship / power imbalance (they're dating but gojo is their superior) , teasing, humiliation, pussy inspection, praise, petnames (sweet thing, baby), fingering + penetration, creampies 18+

✮ wc ; 1.9k

✮ a/n ; i swear on my entire fucking life i did not rig this one at all KJSDF. the wheels just decided i promise this on my life.

idk if the writing reflects what i experienced trying to write this but . good fucking lord. good lord.

"Let me see,"

Embarrassing. Humiliation is making your face burn hot as Gojo stares at you. He's smiling, of course he is - a lazy grin, head tilted slightly to one side. His teeth peek out, sharp incisors and even sharper canines like a light in the dim light of an empty classroom.

"Satoru," You reason, hands fidgeting on the hem of your skirt with a sigh "We're in the—"

"I want to see," He's not asking, so much as telling. Your heart races. You squirm. Earlier, when he called and asked for you to wear something cute - you thought it'd be some of his typical flirting. You decided to appease him. Not particularly hoping he would make any advances on you. It wasn't something you thought to justify to yourself.

It struck you as odd when he asked about it. The husk of his voice as he leaned in behind you and told you good before waltzing off back to his lesson. The whole day he'd done nothing else out of ordinary. Made his usual jokes and stupid, unserious flirtatious advances.

And then you were alone. The building is empty, and you're supposed to be planning practical lessons for the first years. Gojo cornered you here and sat with you in silence for a little while, eyes following your curves and edges before stopping to look at you.

He wanted to see what you wore. But it wasn't like usual. Something was different, obviously - he'd been thinking about something else and like usual opted not to tell you about it. You're sure he won't even if you ask.

It's a trustfall with him - always testing you to see if you'll give him blind faith. You think he likes seeing you flounder more than he's concerned about your loyalty.

You can't get a read on him.

"You're really—"

"Let me see," He says again, not as playful. You swallow thick. It's your fault for indulging him so much "I want to know what you picked."

You go to take it off and Gojo shakes his head.

"Flip your skirt up,"

"You can't be serious."

He looks at you. Reprimanding. He's very serious. You swallow around something in your throat again, turning your head. Focusing your attention on anything else. The open window that gives view to the darkness outside. If anyone came right now they'd see this. You decide to close your eyes after all.

Wordlessly, you grab the end of your skirt and flip it up. Holding the material just over your thighs - to give visibility to the sheer, delicate material underneath. A brief silence is followed with echoey footsteps. Intentional. He's letting his weight hit the ground each time he does it.

You know he stops when you feel him looming over you. Before you can get a worse in edge-wise, he drops down. Squats until his face is at level with your pussy.

But he doesn't touch you. You can feel his breath distantly, and you're too afraid to look. But he's careful not to touch you. When you do feel his hand, it's brushing against your ankle. Fingers playing with the frill of your socks.

"Spread your legs a little."

"But—"

The air changes. You clip your mouth shut and listen, sneakers squeaking along the tile as you spread yourself. Standing at shoulder width, making yourself more clear to view.

"Good," He says, like it needs no explanation "I like when you listen to me."

You don't reply. You just sit, and wait - heart hammering so hard against your chest like you've run a mile.

You count the seconds but the numbers feel muddled after you count up to three hundred. A little over five minutes before he moves again. He touches the palm of his hand against your knee, planing them up the tops of your thigh. A barely there movement. Goosebumps cover every single inch of you. He hums, arbitrarily running his fingers along your inner thigh but never quite committing.

You're almost too afraid to move. Not that he'd do anything bad. But you have no idea what he's doing in the first place. It's starting to make you sweat.

"These are pretty," He says, conversationally running his finger along the top seam where the bows are. Still not touching "They new?"

"U-uhm," Your fingers tighten around your skirt "Yes?"

"Mm," He tugs the waistband, letting it snap against your skin lightly "Were you thinking of me?"

"I thought you'd like them."

"I do. I like when you think of me."

You shudder.

"Were you thinking anything of it when you put them on this morning?"

"No," You answer truthfully.

"Really?" He answers back, genuine "Even in the afternoon,"

"I just wasn't thinking,"

"What a shame," He replies, soft and gentle. He runs fingers against the place where you thighs meet your legs. Still no direct touching. You feel yourself starting to get wet around where he isn't. "I was thinking of you all day."

"Oh," You mumble.

"Wanna know what I was thinking about?"

He doesn't give you a chance to answer.

"I was thinking about," A single finger, his middle finger, runs along the seam of your panties. A ghost of a touch that makes your knees weak "Giving you a nice, thorough inspection."

You can't think.

"I was thinking," He answers again, but this time he pushes and you gasp at the sudden contact "About what it might be like to watch you make a mess like this," Another press, a little harder, still not where you need "Get these nice and dirty,"

"Satoru," Your voice is high-pitched. A whine. A sound you didn't even know you could make.

"I was thinking," He repeats, removing his hand completely "How wet I could get you by telling you all the dirty, awful, nasty things I wanna do with you,"

"What a-are you?"

"It's not proper at all for a trusted grown-up hm? To be pulling up your skirt and showing off your sweet little cunt to your superior? There's windows. They'll see you,"

You can only repeat his name. "Satoru."

"Do you want them to see you?" He asks, hand gentle on your thigh. He trails up "Do you want them to see you bent over the desk while I fuck you? Or maybe you want to spread your legs more,"

You choke on your spit, trying to keep the noises in.

"Make you sit with your legs wide and fuck you with my fingers till you squirt all over the desk. Let everyone see how filthy you let me make you,"

That makes you open your eyes. Once squeezed shut, now wet with need. You turn slightly, looking down at him. He looks pleased by this, by your staring. He watches your face as he gathers the material covering your pussy, pulling it between your lips with enough friction that your knees nearly give out.

"It's good that these were so light," He offers "Didn't think you could get this wet over something like this."

Your lower lip is trembling.

He still doesn't take pity on you.

"You did well," He kisses your knee. It's the most you've gotten from him today "What should I give you hm?"

Your words feel slurred and your head feels completely heavy. "Make me cum. Please, I wanna—"

"Shhh," He coos, patting your leg "Sit up on the desk ,"

You listen, sitting up and far back enough to sit comfortable. Gojo positions you with your feet flat on the desk underneath you. He pulls your skirt up this time, guiding your arms around his neck as he pushes his hand into the waistband of your panties.

The sudden contact is deliciously overstimulating. You gasp and Gojo hums, pleased.

"So sweet," He praises, after you've finally lost all of your resolve - brain clouded with nothing but unadulterated desire. It's hard not to give into Gojo. He always makes it good for you in the end "And so wet. You'll leave a stain."

You sniffle "Satoru," You repeat. He laughs good-naturedly. It makes you huff.

"Right, right. Sorry,"

He doesn't make you wait. The feeling of Gojo's hand makes you gasp with your face buried in his neck. His fingers are thick, smooth skin cool to the touch like a balm on your ever growing heat. He starts with his middle finger, fucking into you slowly and even though it isn't enough to make you cum - it's enough to stimulate you. Already so worked up, so needy it's so good.

But he's not doing it to make you feel good. He's preparing you, wanting to give you something better.

"Gonna give you my cock," He mumbles against the crown of your head, free hand tucking your head to his chest "You're gonna cum all over it for me, okay?"

A pathetic uh-huh leaves your lips, dazed. He doesn't give you anything more after that. One finger without resistance prompts another, and he stops at three. You can feel yourself stretched. You've taken it before, more than once.

But this time feels different. Your stomach is tied in knots. Gojo pulls away from you slightly, enough to undo his pants and let his cock spring free. White hairs neat at the base, tip flushed red. He's so hard, he's throbbing against your thigh where you can feel him.

"Take me in, baby," He hums, pushing the round tip against your cunt before it catches. He lets himself in slowly "That's it,"

The intial stretch leaves your lungs feeling punched out. Already undone, nerves frayed and mind fuzzy - the soft stretch of your pussy accommodating his length leaves you shaking. Skin on skin, raw and desperate, he swears under his breath and throws his head back. His adams apple bobs slightly, smiling as he swallows.

"So good,"

He fucks himself deeper Lets you adjust to each inch, and waits to bottom out until it's comfortable. The brief moment of tension only drives your lust further out of control. You can feel every slight throb and twitch. It gives you a second to appreciate every vein and the slight curve. The deep angle he's hitting you.

Just when you think you can't lose it anymore, he maneuvers his hand between your bodies and uses his thumb on your clit. Every neuron fires at once as he rubs the abused bundle of nerves, achy and weeping between your legs.

Your fingers tighten in his shoulders and Satoru laughs. He starts to move like that, careful and practiced. He angles each thrust of his hips to time it with his fingers. All precision, all reward. He thumbs your needy clit and fucks his cock right against the sweetest, softest part inside of you. He knows it so well by now, it always remembers him.

"Cum on me, sweet thing. Just a little more."

You wrap your legs around Gojo's waist as all the tension in your body started to overflow. All your tight muscles, the hot feeling in your belly that flows and disperses through your whole body. Every sensation works in tandem in making you fall apart and all of it happens at Gojo's mercy.

"Oh, Satoru, oh,"

You cum so hard you see white in your vision. You can feel yourself pulse as Gojo fucks himself as deep into you can go. All the way in your stomach, up to your throat - it knocks all the wind out of you as your pussy pulses and holds and clings to Gojo's cock like it never ever wants it to leave.

Gojo follows you in the aftermath of your own orgasm.

A few more shallow thrust of hips before he pours his cum into you, thick white ropes making your belly feel even hotter.

You stay like that a minute, full and exhausted until Gojo pulls away to kiss you.

"Let's clean up," He offers, an apology without saying sorry "We'll finish up at home, hm? Okay?"

You nod.

"Kay."

#gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #writing tag #warm ups #do not talk to me. i wrote this with my dick in my hand. jesus christ

[ms-demeanor]

IDK that I've ever put it in one post before, but here's the transplant speedrun.

1 - Valentines day 2021, he's admitted to the hospital. We take a pre-hospital selfie then I shave his head and he shaves his beard because he doesn't want to deal with hair at the hospital. Me and his mom drop him off; at that point you can only visit someone as they are actually dying and we're told that he's going to stay in the hospital until he gets a transplant or he dies, and if he's rejected as a transplant recipient he'll receive palliative care in this hospital.

2 - First week of March, they allow patients to have one screened visitor; this is our first visit - I take photos in the hospital to show his mom because at this point he has a pump in his shoulder and it is difficult for him to move his arms to use his phone. He has also been confined to a bed since the week he arrived because he's on the ECMO machine, so he can't walk or move around, though they stand him up every once in a while. At one point one of the ecmo tubes pulls out of his femoral artery, which is Not! Great! He also needed a blood transfusion about every two days at that point, which worried the doctors because it increased his likelihood of rejecting. But he had been approved for transplant at that point!

The first thing he said to me on this visit was "look, I have abs" and then he showed me his abs because it turns out when you're really really dying of heart failure your body begins to eat itself.

3 - Now That's What I Call Jaundice (cardiac cirrhosis is liver failure as a result of heart failure and it's pretty much the big giant neon flashing sign of heart failure that says "hey you're fucking dying" so if you've got heart failure and your bilirubin number is off or the whites of your eyes are yellow please kick up a gigantic stink until they check your liver; large bastard's GP, who is my doctor, who I hate, saw his bloodwork with a very high bilirubin number a month before he was diagnosed with cardiac cirrhosis and wrote it off as a testing fluke fuck that guy)

4 - Don't let the sad face fool you, he's acting pathetic so that his mom will stop yelling about the fact that I'm bringing him cookies. He's allowed to have cookies. At that point he weighed 98kg and was outsourcing his heartbeat, he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted. (have i mentioned that I was moving us from Vegas to LA at this time? I was bringing him cookies because I'd baked hundreds of peanut butter cookies and other cookies to use up the flour, sugar, and peanut butter in the vegas house)

5 - Mid-march, he's got a match! He called me when I was in Vegas filling up the truck with another load and I drove right back and to the hospital. Once he went in for surgery I drove to his mom's house and crashed, then woke up and drove to our storage unit and unpacked the truck while I waited to hear from the doctors. I was unloading a bookcase when I got the call. (There wasn't any point in waiting alone in the hospital for sixteen hours; either he was going to make it or he wasn't and someone was going to have to unload the truck at some point. People have been weird about this, like I should have been sitting at his side all the time, but there was a two-hour daily limit for most visits and look i have sat in a waiting room while this dude had a thirteen hour surgery i do not need a repeat of that experience without the soothing balm of nicotine getting me through it; so unloading a truck it was)

6 - Two days after surgery and kind of mad about it. His chest hurt a lot (obviously) but, like, a lot a lot because they'd had to open him up for the bypass just two years earlier.

7 - First walk outside of his room after transplant in early April; he needed a LOT of PT because of how much muscle he'd lost. He lost sixty pounds in the hospital before the surgery, and only gained back about twenty while he was in there.

8 - A visit from the tiny doggo

9 - I come to visit and I've got a new phone with a portrait mode so he steals it and takes stupid pictures for a few minutes. Dude is bored and restless; this is in late april and he's feeling well enough to be moody. ETA: There is a jar of pickles in front of him because he'd been fluid limited for a long time and his salt levels were off and when he got to the hospital they were like "you need electrolytes and a lot of salt" and he was like "sweetheart can you please please please bring me delicious salty things" so I was bringing him jars of pickled mushrooms and garlic stuffed olives and just a huge number of pickles that he kept trying to share with the nurses. "Alli brought the mushrooms again; would you like a pickled mushroom? I have fancy toothpicks to share them with!"

10 - He comes home for the first time in early May; he ends up getting readmitted two more times because of complications before finally being released in early July. ETA: The second time he got readmitted it was for something that he wasn't at all worried about but that they needed to monitor for a couple weeks so he was *SO BORED* and actually feeling pretty okay; so at one point when I was leaving the parking garage at 8pm my car wouldn't start, I did some troubleshooting with the manual and the internet and didn't figure it out, so I called him and he tried to troubleshoot over the phone and got frustrated and was begging his nurses to let him come out to the parking structure to work on my car (they refused) - I ended up getting a tow and fixing it when I replaced the battery terminals.

Photos are all posted with his permission.

Also I dyed my hair purple between photos one and two because it's his favorite color. I also bought a blue dress, red tights, and yellow shoes to wear to visit him because he always teases me for wearing so much black.

I just love him a lot. It was a hard couple years there, but things are getting better.

#tw medical