#Amphetamine Sulphate

[rjdent]

Some very talented writers that I know (as well as some very talented writers that I don't know) are published by Amphetamine Sulphate, an independent publisher in Austin, Texas. The publisher's twitter account has been suspended without warning and without (to date) a reason being given. Here's the link to the publisher's website: https://amphetaminesulphate.bigcartel.com/

and here's the link to the publisher's Instagram profile: https://www.instagram.com/amphetaminesulphate/

and here's the link to the publisher's facebook profile: https://www.facebook.com/publishingtexas/

and here's the link to Amphetamine Sulphate's 'alternative' twitter account: https://twitter.com/colourclimax

#Amphetamine Sulphate #independent publiher #Audrey Szasz #Thomas Moore #Philip Best #twitter account suspended #Austin #Texas

[grimesapologist]

finally some fucking real journalism from vice

#d

[animxpossessed]

My Experience with Psychedelic Mushrooms as a Man with ASD and SZA: Part 1

I first started experimenting with psilocybin at the age of 17, during the summer following my Junior year of High School and preceding my Senior Year, in early July of 2021. My psychosis had yet to take hold. But I was experiencing strange muscle twitches that I thought to be transmissions from an unconscious, mute part of myself, responding to my every thought. And a strange sound that would seem to emerge from background noise, it sounded like Morse Code, or server room transmissions. Electrical noise seemed to make it worse. The sound would emerge from anything from crickets to fans to any generalized white noise in my environment.

I began to notice these frequently about a week before my first trip, they were preceded by roughly a year of prescription D-Amphetamine Sulphate abuse, and I had recently started experimenting with vaping high quantities of THC near constantly.

A 7g heroic dose of a strain of cubensis known among many as "Jedi Mind Fuck", and some Penis Envy, another strain of cube. This all equated to roughly 7 dried grams, and I had a THC edible of unknown strength, that was believed to be somewhere in the ballpark of 400mg.

The trip was spread out into a 2-2.5g starting dose, and a 4.5-5g redose 2-3 hours following the initial dosing. So not a solid simultaneous 7g to the dome.

Once it began to kick in after the initial dose we bought some supplies, most notably high Vitamin C Orange Juice, from the market. We then drove down to the local creek, I emptied my pockets of anything prone to water damage and dove into the water head first, running my hands through the rocks and basking in the vivid beauty and vibrancy of nature. It was as if viewing life through an 8k TV with extremely defined colors and a slight sharpness filter.

After we spent some time at the creek we decided to head back to our friends house. That's where it hit me. "I'm not tripping hard enough", so I ate the rest of the quarter hastily after a lot of heavy discouragement from my friends. One of which was a very experienced tripper.

After the redose begin to kick-in I began getting anxious and weary of my friends dog, and the potential to lose control. At one point the dog barked at me while I was zoning out and losing focus, just sort of blanking out, this startled me. A rush of Adrenaline surged through my blood and the painting on the wall in front of me began to expel and give off these waves of flowing psychedelic color coming from the edges of the frame and morphing into the wall it was fixed on.

After some heavily intoxicated thought, I asked my friends if it was alright for me to go home, as I wanted to just lay down in a dark room and limit the over-stimulation. After some consideration, they determined that I was handling it like a champ and let me go on my way. I grabbed my bike and realized I was too fucked up to ride a bike. So I then tried to walk it home, passing through our friends next door neighbors front yard. Before I could reach the other end of the yard a sudden feeling overtook me "I can't continue, because I don't know what to do or for that matter know anything". It was strange. I still had access to my ability to reason, and my memories, but they seemed distant and unreal, and my new sense of real was replaced by this utter sense of bewilderment. I let my bike fall, and laid down in the lawn.

After some time the residents in the house of said lawn, came out to question, "Why is a confused, disheveled and bearded boy of 17 dressed in black jeans and a leather jacket, and bearing an uncanny resemblance to the stereotypical whitewashed conception of Jesus of Nazareth in my front lawn? ". They asked me what I was doing in their lawn and all I could muster was "TRIPPING, I'm TRIPPING BALLSSSSS I tooooOK AllAAT of MUSHROOOMS". I then began to repeat the name of my mother, and the current name (presently her deadname) of my love interest at the time, conveniently both names began with the same letter, making my extremely bewildering life a lot easier.

From there the first responders came. I was first questioned by cops who confiscated my THC Oil Pen. Followed by paramedics asking me what went wrong. I remember worrying the cops were going to assault, grope, or harm me in some way as they stood over piss soaked me (during the trip, I couldn't find the restroom but my tripped out self was too paranoid and anxious to ask for specific directions and guidance, so when I gave in to defeat in the neighbors front lawn, I also let my self succumb to my bladders desires.)

I remember being loaded onto the gurney, and thinking "what if they're taking me to their dungeon". And continuing to think so as I rode in the ambulance. At some point I blacked out in the ambulance, and sometimes I can still feel the feeling of the clammy, earthy, mushroom scented sweat that I felt, and I've had disembodied voices claiming to be paramedics tell me that they need to put an IV in my arm because I'm bleeding out from my head. Insisting that they are trying to help me. Accompanied by the tactile hallucination of a paramedic raising my arm, accompanied by my arm mysteriously raising itself without my intent. This "flashback-esque incident" occurred about 1.5-2 years after the trip, after smoking 2-3 bowls of ~47% THC Infused Bud/Moon Rocks. At the time I was going through about an 8th of moonrocks a day.

In the hospital, I began believing I was in some metaphorical dream world meant to represent purgatory, or something akin to a bardo. I began to believe nothing I did or said mattered or had consequence. So I began screaming whatever came to my mind. Asking the male nurses to, I paraphrase, "Fuck me like the little slut I am daddy make me your bitch". I also began to yell things I cannot even remember, but I remember saying "I love you baby" a lot, and according to my dad, who was alerted to my location in the hospital and arrived about 1-3 hours into my hospitalization, I could not shut up about my current love interest, (who still has left the biggest mark on my psyche as compared to anyone else I've met to this day). He stated that I was proclaiming my phallus to be 9 inches and that it fit perfectly into her (different pronouns at the time, using present day out of respect) asshole, and how apparently she was a red hot lover. During my trip I also experienced the solipsistic fear that the only beings to ever exist were me and the sadistic god that created my reality, and showed me relative normality just so I'd miss it when he plunged me into a life of suffering and surreal chaos. The song "Movember" by Mom Jeans occurred to me as I mentioned this fear. Specifically the line "The doctors said you would be fine".

When I finally came down (enough) to be discharged from my hospital bed, I realized that everything I had just experienced was indeed real, or at least seemingly real in my current state. I proclaimed "I have never felt so alive" after the horror and embarrassment quickly faded and gave way to exhilaration and amazement, and gratitude that I'd finally be let go from the cold, sterile environment full of alarming and foreboding bleeps and bloops that is the hospital.

My dad drove me back to his place, as my mom was pissed and didn't know much about shrooms aside from what she had learned from growing up in the 60s and occasionally listening to psychedelic rock.

On the drive back the stars twinkled intensely seemingly blinking rapidly. Everything looked sublime, vivid, vibrant, and sharp. I felt this sense of positivity and excitement, I kept going on about this "Light that runs through everything and everyone" that I first began to mention in my love interests at the time soon to be S.O and present day ex's car during the first part of my trip, right before I redosed. Only me and my love interest were tripping but a majority of us were stoned. She never redosed and stuck with the initial dose.

The next post in this series will cover the experience the following days during the afterglow, quitting Dexedrine, and the like. I may also make a albeit much shorter post solely dedicated to my experience with Dexedrine (the aforementioned prescription grade D-Amphetamine Sulphate Instant Release pills). As they are also a massive part of my lore. That concludes this post. Thank you for reading and sticking with it.

#tw drugs #psilocybe cubensis #trip report #schizophrenia #autism #true story

[divinekillcam]

elle nash writes like a trans girl (read gag reflex, you'll know what im talking about).

ive been discovering the correct places to look for good books recently. [apocalypse party. amphetamine sulphate. soft skull.] suffix "publishing". obviously, tgirls wins always (reading detransition, baby).

opposite genre: reading the divine comedy, john ciardi translation. thoughts that perhaps only i have ever had: "this makes that one homestuck fanfic i read make a lot more sense."

horrorgore cyberpunk nupublishing && old money classics: the two genders. this is all i have been reading, this is all i am interested in reading (excepting some other stuff i've read recently, e.g. Cutting for Stone, Cloud Cuckoo Land). books fill the hole in my soul

#regex

[crystalmaster333]

minimal sculpture long hair for everyone shoegaze robert gober hard edged painting jg ballard punks teddy boys rockers structuralist film fine dining sci fi don de lilo traditional french culture english culture scottish culture beverly buchanan the middle east judaism islam christianity druze kurt vonnegut carparks bridges infrastructure shopping centres getting a fine on public transport not checking your emails ambient music joachim bandau difficulty waking up in the morning ghislaine leung boyle family smoking weed when you’re already drunk robert grosvenor answering the phone with a convincing accent that’s not your own larry david loving and hating modernism at the same time rosalind krauss fiona connor being publically described as young mick jagger and being annoyed about it carbon monoxide agnes martin amphetamine sulphate guy debord guy de maupassant a french lesbian friend from long past now married to a man and working at a bank lee bontecou academic friends gossip friends north melbourne friends the gold coast roberto bolano celebrity chefs australian football players geoffrey rush’s son michelen star pork jowls marco pierre white nothing that anyone else cares about 

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary240

5/14-15/2024

tuesday - wednesday

feel super horrible after my super long shift.

or at least it felt super long, 7.5 hours, basically there for 8 hours (30 minute break), 9 hours of my day missing (half an hour to and from work roughly (maybe more like 25-20 mins? idk. a lot of time to lose though).

anyway, i am too tired to sort through my pictures today but i am going to be less tired tomorrow. i promise i think. anyway, beyond that:

i am now reading the impossible (bataille), there is one quotation i would like to get down now:

"in spite of my concern with being truthful, i can't say more about this. i write the way a child cries: a child slowly relinquishes the reasons he has for being in tears".

i find this very true, in myself, maybe others. it feels like something we can never give up on really. the book is quite good, i read some of it a while ago, i didn't feel it then, i think more to do w/ bataille burn-out more than anything else. a lack of variety can make me turn off of certain things.

an exciting thing in books, and something to waste some money on, is dennis cooper has a new book of shorts coming out. so i need to preorder that and get some other stuff from amphetamine sulphate.

beyondddd thatttt, hummm.

i did watch a movie today, just now, hard to parse all of my thoughts, it's called bye bye love. it's a queer movie from japan, from 1974. it features a transfemme lead which is fun, she is very pretty and i do think the movie is oddly empathetic and observant of dysphoria and the drive to look 'good' as a kind of thing one does not just for oneself but to attenuate, approach the limit of the possible, to push the barriers, to imagine, i guess, that one is not what one was told. by the end of the movie she proclaims, she is not a man or a woman. i feel that, frequently.

the movie also, i think, seems to make note of her moves towards an androgyny, the kind of life she begins to lead in the movie, and that by becoming an outlaw, she must hide, return to "being a man" in some respect, taking on the shape of her now-dead lover. which is tragic and pretty.

there are caveats to this, that i must think on though. the movie is certainly sexist, in all directions, perhaps though this is a critique that falls apart in the charm of the male lead's performance but it seems to be, by his macho-ness, a kind of ideal. though it can't be discounted totally, what he is. there are positives, i like when he claims he is nothing, and him wanting to be so dirty is an interesting issue in the thread of the sexism. that drive and then the degradation of women, i mean, they could be not the same, it is almost by that conflation, the degradation he expresses is cheapened. the perfect icon to absorb the focus.

the end also, i am not sure, there is almost this sense the movie gives me of siding with the male lead on the issues of gender, he asks, why aren't you a woman, why don't you become a man, why do you do your makeup. she is able to respond, and her responses are left alone fairly i suppose until the end upsets things, though what choice is there, in the face of annihilation by pigs. i suppose, better to keep living, is the only message there unless i look too much, but i want to look too much, but also:

i need to sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[unmithridate]

leonard neufeld cover featuring kathy from the amphetamine sulphate twitter 🌙

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

""NEW ROSE" WAS A RAW, VISCERAL, CLASSIC THREE-MINUTE POP SONG..."

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on a record shop advert/poster for THE DAMNED's debut vinyl single, "New Rose" (with a B-side and cover of "Help!" by THE BEATLES, of all bands), released by Stiff Records in October 1976.

"It was an amazing experience because the idea was to capture the essence of the band – the live essence of the band. And if we had a big fancy producer, a big studio, and spent time, I don’t think we would have gotten that. Instead, you got this perfect encapsulation of seeing that band live, and it was an explosion of sound that was very rudimentary in production. In fact, no production – just the volume was set. I remember singing in the hallway because there was too much of the music coming into my microphone. I had to sing out there with the door shut, and it was still very loud because everything was full volume. There was barely enough room for the band when we recorded it, but it was a fantastic experience."  Likewise, Brain James told the Guardian:  “We signed to Stiff to do a single, and Nick Lowe produced us in a tiny eight-track studio. We spent more time in the pub round the corner than we spent recording, but Nick captured how wild we sounded.” That tiny eight-track studio was Pathway Studios in London. Dave Vanian recalled a quick and energetic recording experience for both the single and their first album: ""New Rose" was a raw, visceral, classic three-minute pop song. My famous spoken intro – “Is she really going out with him?” – is from THE SHANGRI-LA'S "Leader of the Pack," which I adored. I’d just been clowning around, but everyone liked it so we kept it. We recorded a whole album – "Damned Damned Damned" – in two days flat. In those days, there was never much food around. We were fuelled by amphetamine sulphate and cider.”

“New Rose” was released by Stiff Records on October 22, 1976 – the first true single by a UK punk Band. The single’s B side was punk cover of THE BEATLES’ “Help.” The First album, “Damned Damned Damned” was also the first full-length album by a UK punk band. While the song wasn’t a massive hit, in terms of sales or chart rankings, it’s influence and historical importance is undeniable. It introduced the UK punk scene to the larger music public.  And took what was an underground – albeit loud – musical movement into mainstream awareness."

-- PRODUCE LIKE A PRO, ""New Rose" and THE DAMNED: The Story of UK Punk’s First Single," by Caitlin Vaughn Carlos, c. 2022

Sources: www.freedomhasnobounds.com/tag/east-side-club & www.google.com/amp/s/producelikeapro.com/blog/new-rose/amp.

#THEDAMNED #DAMNED #1976DAMNED #THEDAMNED1976 #DAMNED1976 #Stiff #StiffRecords #SuperSeventies #Punkrock #FirstWaveUKpunk #NewRose #UKpunk #THEDAMNEDband #RecordAds #1970s #RecordAdverts #RetroAds #Punkvinyl #7inchVinyl #7inchVinylSingle #7inches #SleeveArt #THEBEATLES #PosterArt

[christmasintheloonybin]

if the current 93 show wasn't canceled I could have gone to the city a few days early and been at this amphetamine sulphate thing too, oh well. I really dont like AS that much it's funny when I see people like dennis cooper and shit praising them, I have bought and read like half of their catalog and none of it is very good or at least not really doing anything new. I liked those Simon Morris books but I mean they're not like books they're not literature. and most of this shit is just focusing on being "transgressive" which I have no interest in. I am very very happy they translated and printed that Costes book and they're doing another one. mostly I would just want to go to meet PB. I'd say "hey how's it going man." lol. who knows maybe sotos would be there. I'm trying to get over being starstruck by famous people I've only ever met a few I met Ian Mackaye you know minor threat fugazi when I was idk like 17, and I was so like. embarrassed myself. I met Jamie Stewart xiu xiu you know, when I was... 20? again so embarrassing. because I just act like a fan boy which I was with both of those musicians at the time that I met them. if I met sotos I would make a fool of myself. but I mean I hate this you know I want to act like we're equals even if we are not. if harmony korine does any art shows he lives in Miami sort of far from Tampa I think but I will make a point of going and being like "what's up man." lol. normal you know. I mean try to he friends with him and shit. lol. put me in a movie give me one line, these pretzels are making me thirsty lol. other thank HK there aren't really any living famous people I love, dennis cooper but I'll probably never meet him, sotos. and then you know pop stars I will never meet.

[birdmodetruther]

I love you dexmethylphenidate I love you lisdesamphetamine I love you mixed amphetamine salts I love you methamphetamine I love you amphetamine sulphate tablets I love you 3-Chloro-N-tert-butyl-β-keto-α-methylphenethylamine I love you caffeine

[omegaplus]

# 2,868

Consumer Electronics “The Weight” b/w “Hostility Blues” (2018)

Consumer Electronics’ sound structure has taken a strange turn since 2009’s Crowd Pleaser. Long gone are Philip Best’s days of child-prodigy noise delivered through 1982’s Leathersex cassette and Public Attack 3 which left the Nailsea school’s students and faculty baffled beyond simple amazement. You then hone your craft through Whitehouse and Ramleh, resurrect your solo project, marry your art-school sweetheart, let Russell Haswell define your craft again, and move to Austin to experience different results. Hell, you even start your own publishing volume in Amphetamine Sulfate. Safe to say that after almost four decades removed, any artist would have more than enough time, events, and resources to evolve. The techniques from 2015’s Dollhouse Songs carry on over to this stand-alone single, which many fans wondered about for almost a year after its announcement of new sounds. “The Weight” has had Haswell’s abstract hands in it, creating disjointed minimal dance beats for Sarah’s harpie shouts, whose lyrics are from Philip’s book Captagon. “Take a load off Horseshoe Harriet / take a load off Buckskin Girl / … take the load and put the load on me” are his written experiences visiting La Honda, California featured on that back cover, becoming its own glory as lyrics to side A. “Hostility Blues” is what you paid for and what you’ll absolutely get in spades. “I’m that once a month bleeding bitch” snarls Sarah, ready to stake her claim and tear the heart and lungs out of anyone unlucky to stand in her way for any or no reason at all. Slight hollow metallic tearing turns to heavy mercurial rain and a thin drone of noise aerates toxic years-old dust that’s unhealthy and atrocious. You could swear she’s on a psychotic tell-all equivalent to an out-of-control raging alcoholic needing to spill her life story or on a very bad turn on angeldust. Your choice.

According to Harbinger Sounds, this year’s upcoming Airless Space is their political statement for the 50 states as 2011’s Estuary English was for Britain. Place your bets that the stand-alone is not too far behind.

#omega #WUSB #music #mixtapes #reviews #playlists #Consumer Electronics #noise #Philip Best #Sarah Best #Whitehouse #Russell Haswell #Amphetamine Sulphate #Ramleh #collage #black and white #greyscale

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary179

3/12-13/2024

tuesday - wednesday

thursday will be the day i get to enjoy my clothes from japan. so exciting.

i also just got a book, agua viva, that will come somewhat soon, i suppose, i am very excited to get back into lispector as the 2 books i've read of hers are some of my favorites ever, i think she's always hit, i've read bits of a few others of hers, also amazing imo but i just could not finish them, because i was reading them in a bookstore, i was trying to absorb as much as i could from her. after agua viva, it's either back to gary indiana's book gone tomorrow again, which i still need to finish, or i buy something from amphetamine sulphate. i think i want to read another thomas moore book, i know he's amazing, but my curiosity is piqued by isabelle nicou, she has a new novel out called stricture, and i can't tell what it's about really, which is good. the excerpts are rather amazing to me, as pieces of writing, look:

In Harry’s suburban house, cluttered with books and stacks of papers, time was bending in an elliptical orb that never failed to constrain me during the few months broken by vacations and interruptions—several, for Harry was often invited abroad—where I went once a week to, as my famous mentor put it, “assist” him.

i love that. i am really itching for fiction right now i think. i really would like to get back to writing my big project, step outside of the little pieces i add, and get to the hard work of assembly and subtraction, but it is hard, i need to just sit down and do that but there's other stuff that feels almost more pressing, the music, right now. so it sits, it can wait a bit. since there are things being added to it, it feels like it's not cold for me, it won't really be i think, it feels too near complete already i guess.

music was good today i think, i hope. i recorded the whole of a song, wrote lyrics for it and stuff to complete it. there's some takes i need to take out, and some stuff i need to punch in i think for timing, but it's basically all there i think. i think i sound better on that song now. plus, i wrote lyrics for like 2 other songs/instrumentals, one of which was one i was like, how am i gonna figure anything out. something hit me and i ran with it, and it works. that's very exciting. i also have a random fragment now, which is kind of a fully formed idea with no song to go with it. that's nice as well, something to use whenever. but i want to do something longform again. a story. i've been too focused on other things, i guess. but i think it'll come to me. whenever i feel lost that always does return. especially if i get burned out on one pursuit.

i came upon an interesting thought, i will enter it into the story, i think.

i have done that. i think today is good, i am not hating my bangs so much too, even. stuff like that. i talked to my gf for a while today, we talked about dumb things like some new video game where the main character has a giant ass, which is strange to see. that game looks pretty bad and it's kind of frustrating they're obv trying to crib stuff shinkawa would do in metal gear, especially like, the beauty and the beast women in mgs4. who, regardless of how like, uncomfortable that might be, have incredible designs imo. i've heard in the past the game was going to almost be more of a horror game, with some of the designs he was trying, which i wish was what happened. i hope at some point he can do more horror oriented designs.

soon, as well, i need to finish maldoror. i can be too precious about books with really incredible prose, trying to drink it all as deeply as possible so as to absorb/learn better what they do and how to use it for my own ends, or to even sense if my ends are compatible with their ends, stuff like that. maybe it's not too precious, maybe i just need to be better.

so with songs that need lyrics entirely, i think there's only like, one? idk. and then there's like, 3-4 that need some additional parts written.

i'm thinking, probably, some of these songs are gonna need more boosting in the bass, which should go over decently i think. like, a pretty flat/even +2-4 db? i'd guess at least.

new vox from today need to be lowered by a few db as well. like, 2, i think. maybe too saturated too, or too much high end? strange. but i do rlly like the takes i have for this.

i was listening to the songs thru the blue yeti mic, it's so fucked up how much high end it adds. i was thinking like, what the hell is wrong with all these mixes. now i know why i thought i needed so much added bass. listening thru system audio it still feels like some of these songs could do w/ the high end boosts i'm doing, even more extreme like, idk, even +5? we'll see. but it could be a key to making things sound better.

i'm liking how this is all coming together though. i'm glad my faith in myself is returning i guess, or that's kinda just how this feels. maybe it's delusional. but we'll see, based on reception, although i think basically nobody is gonna receive this.

here's some fashion mag photos/scans i found today, also:

madame figaro japan:

i don't know if it's the scan or what but the blurring on this in the dark space is so uncanny to me, she has the feeling of a sea creature emerging from the depths, she is occupying non-space in a strange way, which makes this photograph really interesting, beyond its role as advertising, it's either been given something wrong by a bad transfer/scan, or it's produced that way. either way, it is against itself in a good way, instead of making one want something solid, it pushes one towards the insolid. which is interesting, as luxury items are always supposing to sell that, so perhaps it's not against advertising wholly, but one could contend that perhaps it is, or it points in some direction where by being handled poorly something can be taken from the image, i guess its negative is produced here, or something, i guess even with the external interference of the watermark, it begins suggesting other things, a mire/swam of desirability, beauty but totally frayed, it's not working in the typical way say fashion photography of deconstructed/avant garde stuff works, as much as i truly love that stuff it is still trying to further its own existence by suggesting to an audience it is a luxury good, instead of a com/pulsion. it is not presenting an object's aura, this is someone being swallowed by something else, subsumed into a broad instantiation of not. or it's at least the feeling it gives. either failure or an odd affect of the photographer, produces something that feels outside of typical valuation in fashion. the image as it is, draws attention to the point of where it loses interest, the fading of definition, or maybe a point of emergence. it is pointing constantly at a fissure.

l'officiel china:

this one is similar to the above, although i suppose more typical and more evidently intentional. i am very struck by the figures of men behind her, i do quite like how at a certain level, the clothes cease to matter and high fashion photography kind of enables a lot of photographers to simply not engage typically. what is preserved here is maybe more a sense of aura of the clothing, although it is oddly agnostic to the garments, it is not shot like a flower, as some might try, it is held at pretty great distance and shares space with the totally surreal men who seem to leer or be heading someplace. they evoke futurist forms, even, which is odd. this, rather than being about nothing, reminds one of passing someone striking in a car, something like that. in contrast to the last it is certainly not able to point at anything single, it's very busy, the pollution gives it another kind of weight.

elle girl korea:

this one is by many measures less odd than the prior two, however i quite like her socks and would like some like that myself, a nice and piercing green. i find myself more and more wanting to wear green, but i have nothing to wear it with. sad. i'll have to find things. i do quite like, overall, the aggressive gaudiness on display, the white background foregrounds it, the rusted looking base of the tv, it being evidently old. the loudness of the outfit, her pose being so like, it's such a pose, she is holding her hands funny, she is pushing her elbows out. it is pointed at you, or maybe through the viewer. it's almost an image begging to be lost in the pages of a magazine. that's not to say it's bad or something, i like the photography here a lot, i guess it's kind of hitting at an early peak of normcore in 08, sorta.

anyway, i need to sleep soon so i can record some more tomorrow. and then i'll be closer, inching closer and closer, and closer, and then soon it'll be time to really get down on the cover art, which will be fun i think, and a headache, but hopefully a good one.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tilde44]

Next up.

#philip best #captagon #amphetamine sulphate #books

[mothafuqueur]

If the drugs don't work then you probably need more.

#alice in wonderland #alice #blonde #girl #doingdrugs #snorting cocaine #snorting lines #snorting coke #amphetamine sulphate #amphetamine #disney #princess #high #ondrugs

[oficmag]

Contributor Spotlight: Paulette

Now that Issue #1 is live, we at OFIC Mag are excited to shine a light on some of the amazing contributors from our inaugural issue. We hope you all love them as much as we do!

Today’s spotlight is on Paulette | @GrannyRocko, who wrote “Refrigerate After Opening” for Issue #1.

Tell us a bit about yourself!

I'm queer as a three dollar bill and in love with the whole gamut of books and film. Highbrow, lowbrow, and everything in between—I refuse to choose a side because life is too short and my "to be read" and "to be watched" lists are too long lol. I think being a writer is sort of like being a sub: you're in ecstasy and pain in equal measure, and getting the most out of your experience is just a matter of figuring out what kind of torture you like best. Is that too gauche to say?! As a kinky queer weirdo, I'm saying it because I think it's true. For better or worse, novels and novel-length fanfics are my preferred form of writing torture. :)

How did you find fandom?

For years, I had a tumblr that I rarely touched. But in 2016, I watched Bryan Fuller's exquisite Hannibal TV show and opened that beloved trash gremlin of a website, searching the Hannigram tag like my life depended on it. I think the friends who recommended Hannibal to me might have also steered me toward tumblr? I can't remember how it happened, but I went down the rabbit hole and didn't come up for air until my browser was crashing because of my exponentially growing AO3 tabs.

What fandom are you in now and what brought you here?

Currently, I spend most of my fandom time in the Teen Wolf sphere. During the first year of the pandemic, it became the trash TV balm to my depressed soul. I was in the mood to rewatch Buffy for the hundredth time but decided I ultimately wanted something new, and that's how I got sucked in. I even wrote an article about it for Gayly Dreadful, talking about the way it soothed my chest dysphoria and made me contemplate the nuances of my own gender identity.

What’s your favorite book of all time and what do you love about it?

Donna Tartt's The Secret History. I'm sure some people think it gets thrown in "best" categories too much, but it's such a perfect intersection of the things that have fascinated me in fiction throughout my life. Class disparity/tensions, the area where obsession and violence and hedonism meet, queerness, picturesque insular settings where everyone has incestuous friend groups and gossip runs amok, haunting past trauma, pretentious people hiding behind the smokescreen of seemingly grandiose/profound ideas as justification for their behavior, lush, complicated, lyrical prose that somehow never feels too dense, it just... clips along like a beautiful, layered melody. It's also one of those rare books that grows with you. I've read it at various points in my life and gotten different things out of it each time. It never loses its glow; the glow just shimmers a little differently. 

What projects are you working on right now?

I'm working on a novel that deals with the intersection of those aforementioned obsessions (queerness, violence, kink, trauma), and it's been a shift from my first novel because it's much more fast-paced, almost noir-ish in the murder mystery aspect. Plot is one of the things I struggle with the most, and I'm always trying to find some middle ground between "waxing poetic about the woods for a whole page" and "all plot, no waxing." My writing leans literary and descriptive. It's always been that way, and it's something I never want to lose. Merely hone and tame and maybe (hopefully) find a way for it to co-exist with a propulsive plot. I'm also working on a [redacted pairing name lol] fanfic...

What are your aspirations as a writer, big picture or small?

To get books published, either in trad pub or with small presses I admire that are currently putting out really interesting, daring work (Clash Books, Weirdpunk Books, Amphetamine Sulphate, to name a few) and get stories published in lit mags I admire. And just to continue doing work I'm proud of, to always be pushing myself to write about the things I'm scared to write about because otherwise, what's the point? You have to take the risks or you won't grow.

If you could give one piece of advice to beginning writers, what would you tell them?

Write about what you want to write about, the ideas that keep you up at night. Stay true to your instincts and shut out everything that tries to dampen them (worries about perfection, worries about how your work will be perceived, every single worry the publishing aspect of the industry puts in your head). Because at the end of the day, if you're not excited about what you're writing about, why are you doing it? All of those worries can come after drafting, but you need to learn to keep the wolves of doubt at bay if you're ever going to finish a draft. Writing is always going to be difficult and stressful in one way or another, but remember to stay in touch with the spark, the tingles you get when an idea first turns on the light in your brain. And if you think that whatever excites you is too niche, I guarantee there is someone out there who is fascinated/excited by the very same "niche" things and will be happy to see your work. 

Thank you for being a part of the OFIC family, Paulette! We’re so thrilled to share your work with the world.

#writeblr #bookblr #original fiction #creative writing #fanfiction #issue 1 #spotlight

[earhartsease]

TIL the international medications conglomerate decided about ten years ago to standardise spellings to the US convention and do away with ph in favour of f for such words as amphetamine and sulphate, and I for one hate it but will learn to live with it I guess (context is I spent several years lucky enough to work in a museum around amphorae and you can prize that spelling out of archaeologists' cold dead hands I'm sure) - I just think ph is neat

#i am about to start taking #lisdexamfetamine #and I hate the spelling