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covid

there are many, many funny things about kingdom hearts, but for me the funniest part is in any scene where there’s supposed to be a big crowd but the devs didn’t want to model literally anyone so it’s just a huge empty room with only the absolutely necessary characters there

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it's time again to rejoice in the Capercaillie, a wonderful bird

and most particularly to rejoice in this description of their call that I found in an old British bird book

I love this so much, and always picture this

but also have such admiration for whoever took the time to transcribe the call - and to make those particular spelling choices

#hah we forgot we made the meme #capercaillie

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Poirot?!

we were thinking just now about how we've embraced certain greek myths into our everyday language, so we have "tantalising" from Tantalus but where's "sisyphising" for stuff that we just have to keep on bloody doing (retail, housework, loving ourselves)

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More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

#high fives

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"your veins run with starlight" - casually devastating throwaway father-to-daughter line in an ep of The Sarah Jane Adventures

#the last sontaran #sarah jane adventures

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we were thinking just now about how we've embraced certain greek myths into our everyday language, so we have "tantalising" from Tantalus - but where's "sisyphising" for stuff that we just have to keep on bloody doing (retail, housework, loving ourselves)

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as foretold in the ancient skrills

randomly remembering the time in 2012 when everyone kept saying the world was going to end at midday that day and like, i didnt really believe it, but i didnt want to be a complete fool if i was wrong, so i excused myself from class to go sit the field and perfectly timed the beat drop to a skrillex song just in case something happened. and im just. retroactively amused by the idea of ushering in the appocalypse with skrillex. most 2012 thing you could possibly do.

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there's a lovely medical term for bruising, and that's ecchymosis - and til it comes from the ancient greek for "juice where it shouldn't be" and that's just fantastic

also it's a word with a great mouthfeel we think

#etymology #bruising #allow us a lil whimsy with the translation

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Robert Mitchum, Errol Flynn, and Burt Lancaster at the Friar’s Frolic in April 1950

you don't often see Burt smile

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and sometimes it is trauma - we're 61 and only just starting to remember what happened to us from 12-15 years old and it was very awful

so please don't make absolute assumptions either way - but also don't go trying to force yourself to remember (whether it's trauma or not) - it'll come to you if it wants or needs to

you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

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After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

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#philbert desanex #mood

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Reworking an old joke I'm still proud of to be under the character limit (1/3) 💛:

Baby, are you new to cubism? 'Cause I feel strangely drawn to you.

oh helllll yea

Askbox is closed for new requests, I'm recording these old ones on the to-write document

#side eyes you

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Request:

Magic is 50% book learning

40% actual knowledge and

10% being a moron

well at least the math adds

Askbox is closed for new requests, I'm recording these old ones on the to-write document

#magic the mathering

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shed power weed

something dank in the woodshed

What’s on your mind? Learn more about yourself and your unique personality type with this scientist-designed word search.

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#301 so far