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#Also like this is my first time watching House so I cannot say his behavior in later seasons we are only in season 1
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My mother has decided she does not like Psych because Spencer is "too arrogant and lies".
My mother has also decided she likes House because House "while arrogant, tells the truth"
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chrollohearttags · 1 year
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containment • e. jaeger
synopsis: you’re the newest female guard at an all male prison. No one said it’d be easy but you were prepared for anything..except the new inmate on your cell block.
themes: forbidden romance/relationship, prisoner eren, modern au, correctional officer reader (black and fem coded) power play, lots of fantasizing and masturbation, consensual sex, he’s also a heavy switch and minors do not and i cannot stress this e-fucking-nough..interact!
cw:3.5K
📝: I’m up at 3am, letting my insane thoughts win again so please don’t hold this against me if it’s too long or just wild in general but this is just some notes/imagines to what will be a full, multi-part fic eventually, just wanted to mainly focus on the spicy stuff for now.
you were one of the only three female guards to ever work at the state’s all male maximum security prison. A facility notorious for housing some of the county’s most terrifying criminals..naturally, it was said to be no place for a woman and you were subjected to harassment, heckling and sometimes violence but you didn’t allow it to stop your goals. As physically strong as you were stubborn, you didn’t fear them in the slightest.
it was only six months after your assignment to the close containment unit that he was put onto your floor and things began to shift..an inmate by the name of eren jaeger; he was most certainly different from the other convicts you made contact with on a daily basis…
never gives you a hard time, always complied and is always in his cell either drawing or reading. If they didn’t give him time off for good behavior, you didn’t know who would get it. Also was super intelligent.
sort of intimidated the other guards and prisoners because of his eerie silence. They didn’t know why he’d been on a floor like this but act so well behaved. no one ever got on his bad side though..they knew better because he’d remind them why he was locked up in the first place.
has a slick ass mouth and every time you asked what he was there for, his response was “whatever they say I did.”
you didn’t make it your mission to be chummy with the prisoners, but he made the job a bit more tolerable. “good morning, officer (l/n)..” it was how he always greeted you..in addition to a little faint smile and telling you how pretty you were that day, whether barefaced or with some light makeup on and oddly enough, he always knew the scent of your perfume. “I can compliment my favorite guard, can’t I? Is that allowed?” the sarcasm and sweet gestures were something you had grown accustomed to. “You’re as cute as you are dangerous, Jaeger. Too bad for you, they don’t reduce sentences for adorable one liners.” although those words should have meant nothing come from a criminal…
it’s one day, however..when you were seeing him off to library cleanup duty that it went from harmless flirtation to a heated, forbidden love affair. “Not to be gross or anything but I gotta go take a piss, officer. I’ve been holding it since we left the cell.” he had been working diligently without a break for two hours so you’d allow it.
never had to worry about him trying anything as he had seen you take down men twice his size by yourself and even had subdued him once after a fight was incited by somebody else but he didn’t back down. (an ass whooping from you he’d soon never forget).
during that little bathroom break, you accidentally caught a glimpse of what he was working with…down south! You’d try to look away but really couldn’t help yourself. The man was hung like a horse. As a guard, you were to remain professional so the thoughts had to subside.
it was all but inevitable when you’d take him to the rec yard for exercise and you’d watch him do curl ups on the metal bars. His entire muscular back and arms riddled in tattoos; some professional pieces and others by the tip of an ink pen etched in prison. It’d be a huge violation if you’d ever acted on them and to you, that’s what made the fantasy all the more hotter.
on the trip back to finish up his last bit of library work, he utters something to you that made you freeze… “I know you were watching me earlier, officer..in the bathroom. I could feel those pretty little eyes of yours staring. Such a pervert.” Muttering sarcastically because his nasty ass loved the thought! To which you’d call his bluff and ask him so what if you were and he’d double down on it. “Then next time I’ll let you come help.” He always had a witty, smart mouthed comeback for everything.
it was getting harder to deny the sexual tension that was brewing though and as it were only the two of you left, the banter would become more and more risqué. Completely inappropriate and wrong but it felt so right..
“Can I get a good night kiss?” asks it every night when you take him back to his cell, to which you’d only ignore and instead, shove a stick of gum between his lips as a reward for his hard work..it was as close it were going to get for now.
it was when you got home that those disgusting desires could run rampant. In the solitude of your shower or bedroom, you were free to fantasize about this man and all of the things you wanted him to do you. Touching yourself, wishing it were him…a filthy criminal. From pinning your legs back and pumping you full of dick. Slapping, choking and tugging on your hair. Riding his pretty little face as you came all over his tongue. unbeknownst, he felt the same.
truthfully, it couldn’t be helped..watching the plump curvature of your ass sway in those black uniform cargos and your big supple tits tightly stuffed into that grey polo with the prison’s insignia on the left breast pocket every day drove him crazy. Those plump, juicy lips always covered in gloss that he wouldn’t mind shoving his cock between. Holding your head still while he throat fucks you into oblivion. And he just knew that pussy was fat with a mean grip. Many of nights had he lied in this cell, quietly stroking himself to the thought of his favorite guard bouncing on his dick, riding him before he’d take over and fuck up into you..smacking that round ass as he covers it in baby oil.
hearing you cry out his name..telling him how big it is as he forces all nine of those thick inches in you until it fits..just a few of the dozens of scenarios he’d play in his dirty, perverted mind. It had been years since he’d felt the touch of a woman so it was hard to restrain himself. He’d end up biting his sheets a way to gag his moans as his enclosed fist pumped until he’d splatter a giant nut all over his knuckles. Luckily he was alone in here.
when you returned to work a couple days later, that steamy tension had reached its boiling point and during day duty, you couldn’t take anymore. You needed him now! Favor was in your corner because he happened to be caught with cigarettes he smuggled from another inmate, which would have been a big infraction.
but instead, you snuck him off to a nearby closet where he’d become your personal fuck toy for the afternoon in exchange for your silence. It was his own damn fault..violating the rules and looking so damn good all the time. And he didn’t hesitate!
“You can keep a secret, can’t you, officer? I promise I won’t tell if you won’t.” taunting as he forced you back on his thick cock with his shackled hands. He’s made you squirt more times than any man ever has and it had been so long since he’d been in some pussy and especially one this tight so you had to keep him quiet because he was losing his shit. Didn’t hold it against him when he came too quick and..inside of you because you had been waiting a long time for it.
now, it’s become a regular occurrence. You can’t leave him alone and vice versa. Makes sure that no one else give you a hard time ever again and would handle it personally if they did. Guards included..in return you make sure he gets a little more on his commissary or drops him in a few cigarettes or snacks when it’s permitted. Even letting him get extra time outside, just so you could have him to yourself.
Can’t exactly communicate via cell phones so he writes you love letters that he hides in areas around the prisons for you to read when you get home. Full of filthy detail of how he’d be fucking you if he were a free man, how much he adores you and of course, all the trouble the two of you will get into the next time his beloved CO comes into work.
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cineflections · 8 months
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You know, if there was one manga that would be adapted to live action and succeed, I never would have guessed it to be this one.
I'm ofc talking about the One Piece Live Action on Netflix
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A whole day binge right after release, I was READY, and thankfully, I was not disappointed. There are cuts and streamlining of the story, characters coming in earlier than in the manga/anime, and some of the emotional bits don't hit as hard as in the original. Still, I can feel the love the production team has of One Piece. The characters are goofy and lovable, but they are also serious and straight-faced.
One thing that I noticed throughout was the constant close up to faces and sometimes straight on, as if almost breaking the 4th wall. The very first scene with Luffy is like this, but there he DOES look into the camera directly, but the pov of the camera is revealed to be a newsbird. It's like a statement that they know this is a silly pirate romp, they know that some people will not take this seriously, but they will not do 4th wall breaks silly, but in-universe silly. Does that make sense?
I laughed at several points in the show, big and wide smile on my face and pointing at the screen several times...
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But I do wonder how much of my laugh was on the show's on merit or if I was only calling back on the the source material. At times I did feel the straw hat crew not being as iconic as in the manga/anime. The extreme reactions, the over the top noises and actions, at the same time I realize that real people generally don't act like that.
I appreciate the show runners attention to details. Putting stuff in to tease future arcs, adapting some cover stories, some of the complete unhinged behaviors of characters (Garp I'm looking at you!).
This show adapted Romance Dawn, orange town, syrup village, baratie, and arlong park.
There are so many moments that are almost scene by scene taken from the manga. Luffy in the barrel and meeting Koby. Alvida with her giant spike club. We got to see some pre-captured Zoro moments (particularly him killing a baroque works agent!), Nami being a sneak.
Then we meet the one and only clown Buggy! They hammed him up, they made him a showman and a real clown (with a real bulgy nose as well, props!). I loved Buggy. Goddamn what a show stealer. Excellent casting, his devil fruit was show cased so well and it looked good!
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Usopp's introduction is the most changed. The kids are gone and the Black Cat pirates never call in the entire crew or Jango. Instead of the fight on the slope by the beach it's instead in Kaya's house from which they cannot escape. The actor for Kuro nailing the mannerism and hand movements, altho his "teleporting" looks a bit wonky.
With Baratie we are finally introduced to Sanji! Who's British now 😆. And Mihawk's introduction tho! Badass and just so over the top and goofy. I love him so much! This is where we got the biggest change where we instead get Arlong and crew coming in smashing the place up (a tiny bit). Arlong may not be as tall as he should be but I love the practical approach instead of CGI, which means he actually feels present! All the fishmen we see are guys in costume and prosthetics!
Arlong Park felt a bit more rushed than the earlier parts, but I do think they nailed *that* scene tho.
If the bar for live action adaptation was below the ground, I would say now there's a new bar, which is on the ground 😅. I think it's a solid show but it might be my bias talking. I do have some gripes tho.
One thing that was constant in East Blue Saga was how much village people hate or are scared of pirates. I think they got the marines right, and the pirates, but they failed to really have the village people be a character in their own right. In the manga and anime the villagers are mostly a monolith who will think and act alike in situations and be part of the happenings either by watching or fighting. We got just about none of it here, except a mention in Arlong Park. They did some really good and cool world building with lots of people populating the sets in the background - but that's it, they're just extras to fill out the screen. There are ofc a few exceptions but I felt it was not enough.
I wish they had Luffy be more agile when using his gum-gum powers. Whenever he springs a pistol or a whip is stands in place, which I found boring (and they did so well with Zoro's fights!). I do think the explanation is that they decided for Luffy to be coming into his powers as we go. That we will learn with him all the things he can do (him not knowing he can blow himself up like a balloon proves this). I hope that in season 2 (please netflix!) they show the growth in his fighting!
But to end this long post. I just wanna say how much I fucking love the dude playing Mihawk. Goddamn he's so fun. MVP.
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For the straw hats, I would say that Usopp feels the closest to manga version, and Luffy feels the most distant from it. But I don't dislike this, and I think the actor for Luffy has so much potential to really make the role his own.
It will never be "just like" the manga and anime, but that's ok! It's a new adaptation (in live action) made by people you can tell loves the source material and really really tried to make it work! I respect that, and I respect this show. Please watch it on Netflix! It's a fun and silly time, just like it should be!
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bronx-bomber87 · 5 months
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Happy Saturday lovely Fandom :) We’ve reached my favorite episode of the season. I explained in detail to that ask I received about my fav eps why I love it so much. Great follow up to the previous episode. So much good content in this one. Married moments galore, growth, all the goodies. The name on this one is apt. Makes me breakdown every time I watch it. Let's get going.
4x09 Breakdown
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First off imma need more Lucy/Genny scenes in S6. Their banter and bonding makes me so happy. Idk what Tim was expecting with these two together again. Of course they were going to bond more and chat. Get off track while doing so. Genny trying to reminisce about the house. Asking Tim if he remembers their mom used to make them pose for pics by that window? Lucy jumps in because why wouldn’t she? Joining in saying her mom did the same thing. The smile on Genny's face. She clearly enjoys Lucy's company. Probably thinking why isn't Tim dating her?
Tim doesn’t look amused by this at all. Even huffing a little bit. They continue on like he isn’t there. Talking about wrist corsages they had to wear. Genny saying 'Why was that ever a thing?' Tim cuts off memory lane. Stating they’re just here to fix this place up and sell it. That’s it. Lucy therapy mode is activated by this comment of course. Stating they’re closing an important chapter in their lives. They need closure by doing things like this. Reminiscing and such.
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Tim being so very over this turns on the saw. Trying to drown her out saying ‘What? LOL Such a little shit ha I love him so much though. (So does Lucy heh) Lucy screams 'You need closure!' again despite him trying to drown her out. He screams again 'What?! 'She is so flirty when calls him an idiot. Mixture of exasperated and flirty. Like he’s her idiot and I love it sfm. Also let’s note this is clearly Lucy’s day off. How is she spending it?
Renovating Tim’s childhood home and bonding with his sister some more. Not soulmate behavior at all… It’s crazy just like in S2 you forget he’s dating Rachel. It’s the same in S4 only their bond is even stronger now. Where is Ashley is all this? Not here... Their married vibes are insanely high in this moment.
Tim’s exasperated face when she calls him an idiot haha Epitome of Sunshine x Grumpy. All in front to Genny too. Like Grey I’m sure she also knew long before they did. If you needed a future depiction of their marriage this is it. Sister in-law and all in the mix. This is so domestic I cannot stand it.
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As they continue to tear down the wall Lucy is telling them how much she wanted a sibling. She begged her parents for one. Instead they got her a turtle ha. Not really the same thing... Saying it was cute but a little smelly. Then Genny comes in with the hilarious sibling slam. 'Cute and smelly sums up Tim’s teenage years' LOL Saying she didn’t miss much at all. Tim returns the sass in full above. The cute family bonding getting me all in my feels. Lucy is so happy to be apart of this.
Written all over her face. Future sister-in law bonding as well it’s so great. Unfortunately while they’re tearing down the wall they find a gun. Tim goes from light-hearted and fun to serious at the drop of a hat. Genny asks how long that could’ve been in there? Tim isn’t sure. That it’s hard to say. He shows Lucy that the serial number has been filed off. Lucy says they need to run ballistics. Tim nods agreeing with her completely. They're so damn in-sync and just a well oiled machine with work stuff. Just comes together so seamlessly.
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Genny panics a little. Says they don’t actually think it was used in a crime do they? Tim lets her know it’s THEIR job to find out. Not just him THEIR. I love it. Genny is upset they’re leaving. Wondering if anyone else can handle this? Tim promises they’ll be back as soon as they can. Genny scoffs and says she knew he’d find an excuse to leave. Tim tells her this is serious. They have to go.
Genny doesn’t fight him and tells him to just go. Lucy’s face when Tim exits the room. She’s torn between comforting Genny and rushing after Tim. Naturally she goes after Tim. He needs her more and is clearly so upset. She’s worried about him so he takes precedence. It’s like an instinctual pull to him in that gif above.
You can tell she wants to stay to help Genny but Tim needs her more. Before we delve any further. Let’s talk about seeing Tim in jeans during this. Phew lord. Tall drink of sexy in tight blue jeans. I am here for it. Break me off a piece. Those biceps in that t-shirt too. Trying to kill me good sir. This man can make the simplest outfits sexy af. How does he do it? It's not fair to be this attractive.
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Once Lucy catches up to him she says Genny has a point. He could call someone else to handle this. That he still can. Tim gives her a good company line. Saying 'How a good Sergeant doesn’t create work for his officers. Even on his day off.' Lucy of course isn’t buying what he’s selling. Knows this man better than anyone else. Asks if 'It’s not at all about the emotions this house is stirring up?'
Tim not wanting to deal with his emotions says ‘It’s just a house…’ How you acted all of 4x08 would contradict that statement my love. *sigh* Oh my poor Tim. Lucy hit the nail on the head and he doesn’t want to face it let alone deal with it. Lucy doesn’t press him any further. She knows her boundaries with him. That doesn’t erase the massive worry on her face though. If she could hug him right now she would.
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We rejoin them at that station. First off how can two people exude so much chemistry just walking next to each other? Tall/Smol gloriousness. The little to no space between them as they walk together. Personal space? Never heard of her. That word is foreign to them and it makes me giddy. How Tim is drawn to her as they move. Looking like he’s reading the file. When really he’s just magnetically drawn to her. He physically can’t help it at this point.
I can’t get over Tim being in street clothes in the station. Mmm. Not only that but being in jeans plus his badge showing? My god I’m a puddle. This man is my undoing and I welcome it. *Ahem* Their dialogue here is married af. It’s so god damn natural I cannot stand it. Lucy being on it with ballistics. Saying she got it already. Tim comments that was fast. Lucy stating above how she achieved said fast results.
Forever love that silent communication they do. He doesn’t even need to say thank you. That cute little smile does it for him in the second gif. It’s his thank you and she reads it loud and clear. Her buying cookies just to expedite this case? Tell me your ship is in love without telling me they’re in love. Gah this ep is doing things to me. It’s like when you see a cute puppy and are overcome with cute aggression. I’m overcome with amazing cute ship aggression LMAO
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Lucy gives him the details she has from the report. Saying the ballistics match a 25 year old murder. Someone named Frank Ochoa. Tim freezes and says he lived down the street from them. He also mentions he was 14 when he was murdered. Lucy continues on and says the investigation resulted in a botched home invasion. Tim replies they can rule that out now that they found the gun in their wall.
Lucy asks Tim if he remembers anything from that night? Tim tells her he had football game. His mom took him and Genny. When they got back it was crawling with cops. That his dad hated Frank. Lucy tells him he had an alibi. Frank’s wife. This incites Tim’s anger even more. Saying he was having an affair with her. She was no alibi.
His mom didn’t know but he did. Ugh. Poor Tim having to live with that. To protect his mother’s feelings by living with it. You can see the hurt on his face. The anger welling up inside of him. So much so when Lucy tries to theorize with him he just says I don’t know. So overcome with emotions of his past. I wanna hug him this entire episode.
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This next section we see protective/worried Lucy come out. Honestly she’s present most of this episode tbh. She finds Tim in the hallway headed towards interrogation. Asking what he’s doing? Tim lets her know Monica Ochoa is in interrogation. That he’s going to get to the bottom of this. Lucy stops him right away. Knowing he will go in there like a raging bull full of emotions. Tim shoots back she’s his father’s alibi.
She has the answer to whether it was her or his dad that killed Frank. He's so antsy to have answers. His anxiety coming off him in massive waves. Luckily Lucy is well versed in the ways of Tim Bradford. Knows exactly how to handle this. She agrees but says he can’t be the one to question her. That he will have an immediate bias towards her. Lucy does what she does best. Tells him what he needs to hear. Saying he can’t be the one to do this.
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They need to do this the right way if they're gonna tackle this together. The best part is he agrees and hands the file over to her. No fight in him at all. My damn heart. I'm bursting. The immense amount of growth in this man. Seeing her reasoning right away, handing it over knowing she’s right and trusts her to interrogate Monica. The levels of growth for them and Tim as a person are off the charts. I adore him pointing to her then handing the file right over. Not giving it a second thought that she is right. Not only is he trusting her to do this correctly. It’s a family matter he’s letting her handle.
I cannot emphasize enough how huge this is. How far we’ve come from where we started. It’s moments like this where we truly get to reap the reward of all the build up. How Tim ‘I don’t talk about my personal life’ Bradford is handing over the most personal thing he could to Lucy. Saying you’re right, I trust you, let’s do this. To have this guarded man hand the reins over to Lucy is colossal. That wall of his with her is in damn near ruin at this point.
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Tim watches from observation as Lucy handles questioning. Monica is defensive right off the bat. Dodging all of Lucy’s questions. Lucy gets her back on track though. Has her recite what happened that night. She says she was over with Tom (Tim's father) doing her taxes. He was a CPA so she went to him for help. When she got home their house has been broken into. Found Frank’s body in kitchen. Lucy tries to poke at the affair a bit more. Trying to get her to admit to it.
Asking if she was with the Bradford’s a lot? If so we're the kids there? Did Tom leave the house at any point while helping her? Monica gets even more defensive and gets up to leave. Lucy isn’t able to keep her in the room much longer. Suspicious af behavior. Tim can’t stand her up and leaving. He confronts her in the hallway. It goes about as well as you’d expect. If you think she was defensive with Lucy amplify that by ten with Tim.
When she takes off Tim says she’s covering for him. Lucy says maybe…but they can’t prove that. For first time he’s not looking at something with cop eyes. Thankfully he has Lucy who is. He’s so determined to see this the way he wants to. To nail his dad for something. If he does it’ll be cathartic for him. Almost likes forcing his father to atone for all his sins with this one crime.
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Tim goes to see his father and it’s hard to watch. Tim has tears in his eyes from the moment he steps into that room. All his pent up emotions barreling out of him. He tries to keep himself in check and it gets the best of him. You can hear the hurt in his voice as he speaks to his father. I know that hurt well. His father joking the nurses love him. But not enough to give him a shot of patron. Tim is so irritated with him. Annoyed he always finds people to take care of his even when he doesn’t deserve it. Tom asks him if has something on his mind?
Tim brings up finding the gun, Frank Ochoa, his wife. His father denies knowing her cause he’s awful. Tim letting him know he knew about the affair. He tries to deny it further and Tim lets him know he caught them when he was 13. His father finally giving in with an 'Oh crap.' Then Tim says something that breaks my heart. ‘For some reason I still don’t understand. I lied for you. Lied to mom.’ You can see how that ate at him to do so. He was too young for such a burden.
I think the reason he doesn't understand is he wanted his dad to be proud of him. It sounds messed up but I get it. Wanted him to praise him for something. Anything. Give him an 'Atta Boy.' I so understand that. You’d think the relationship I have my own parents their opinion would mean nothing. Now it does less so than it used to. But there’s still something deep down inside me wants them to be proud of me. Praise me. Say I did a good job. Instead of being disappointed.
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It’s some crazy DNA thing with your parents. Where even if you’re on bad terms there is still part of you that wants that acceptance. When really it should be the other way around. Tim wanted his dad to recognize what he had done for him. Even now he wanted that and all he got was emotional abuse as his reply. Belittling him and calling him ‘Poor little Tim-Tim’ I bet you Tim was a very emotional sensitive child like me and he was shut down constantly like I was. Hence that nickname. Ugh. I hate his father so much. Tim asks why he did it? Ruining one family wasn’t enough for him?
His father gets out of bed. Tim tells him to get back in. His father being defiant knowing Tim won’t lay a hand. Says ‘Make me.’ Tim can’t even look him in the eye and his father tacks on ‘That’s what I thought.’ This hurts my soul watch. Feels like a glimpse into how things were for him growing up. Anytime Tim stood up for himself or Genny. This was probably the reaction he got. Him goading him into a reaction. Then when he didn’t get it belittling Tim was the next step for not doing so. *sigh* Seeing the emotional abuse in action is hard to swallow. I hate seeing Tim shrink like he does in his father's presence.
That strong confident man we’re all used to reduced in an instant due to his father. Breaks my damn heart. His father confesses to killing Frank. Goes after Tim some more and says screw him. Calling Tim mockingly a ‘big man’ for dragging him away from his death bed. Tim tells him ' This isn't over..' tears threatening to spill from his beautiful eyes. I wanna hug him so much. His father tells him to get the hell out. *heart clutch* When a parent cuts you down like that and you’re too stunned to really reply. It's a helpless feeling. The rage I feel is a culmination for him and what I’ve dealt with myself.
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We return to Tim at the station. Ready to write his father up. Man on a mission really. Lucy comes over to talk to him. Tim word vomits all over her. Coming out faster than Lucy can get a word in. Asking her a favor and getting the DA contacted for him. Lucy finally is able to tell him to stop. Let’s him know she brought Monica back in while he was away. Tim is confused and asks why?
One of the two things I adore about this scene is Lucy’s initiative here. She knew from very jump how emotionally compromised he was. He only saw one narrative and ran with it. Blinding him to any other possibilities this case had. Lucy was the one with cop eyes for him. Brought Monica back in knowing she could get more out of her solo.
The second thing I love is once again is the personal growth from Tim. He doesn’t question her doing this. Isn't mad about it. Hears her logic and her telling him like it is like she does best. Letting him know his judgement was clouded. That Tim couldn't see past the version he wanted. Tim doesn’t disagree. At all. She took charge of this case and he’s not upset in the least. Just curious and asks her what she’s found? I’m just so proud of him. It’s not easy to work on yourself and he has so very much. It shows so much in moments like this.
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We cut to Tim back at his dad’s room. There is a finality in the air as he walks in. Gives his dad that shot of patron he has been wanting. Like Tim is giving him little something to gain passage into talking him. To say how he’s really feeling. Calls his dad out on what really happened. What he learned from Lucy. Frank was beating Monica. She lost it one night and killed him. Ran to Tom cause she was terrified. He helped her stage the house.
His father goes off saying she deserves a medal for what she did. That he was an abusive brutal bastard. This where Eric should win all the awards. He is so masterful in his inflections, The emotion in his voice, The tears in his eyes, His facial expressions, Everything. How he calls his father out for being the exact same thing. His reaction is the same as my mother is anytime I bring up something from our childhood. Defensive saying they’re nothing like what you’re bringing up.
Being defensive because they know it’s true. Or so deluded they truly think they did no wrong. Not sure which one is worse tbh. Tom trying to take credit for who Tim became. That he turned him into a man. His reply is so so good. The deep emotion’s in his voice as he tells him off. Saying he became who he was despite him. Yeah you did babe. As did I with my parents. His final words an amazing slap to his father's face. ‘Goodbye dad. I hope it hurts.' I hope it does too.
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I would like to say first I adore her coming to hospice with him. Knowing he would need it after confronting his father. Knowing him so well. He would never ask for her support directly. Lucy recognizing this and coming for this reason. He needed her and she knew it. She watches him emerge from his father’s room so distraught. Immediately asking if he’s ok? Lucy looks like she wants to cry the minute she see's him. He looks so broken and sad. Melissa and Eric are just incredible in this scene. That look of intense worry on her face. my heart.
Tim telling her right away he sure as hell isn’t. Divulging his feelings and showing how deeply hurt he is. That his father protected Monica. The way his voice breaks as he tells Lucy this. How his father never did anything to protect him and Genny. All he ever did was tear them down. Physically hurt Tim on top of emotionally damaging him for life. The pre-tears in his eyes when he says but he didn’t think twice for his mistress. Broke half a dozen laws for her...
His reply a mixture of incredible anger and deep hurt. Lucy updates him saying Monica is being processed now. That they probably won’t go after his father. Since he’s on his death bed. Tim is so drained and resigned at this point. Says 'It doesn’t matter. He will get judged soon enough..' The worry is still coming off Lucy in waves. She knows he’s holding something else back. Something that is still hurting him. She is just waiting for him to share it.
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Lucy is pleading him with her eyes above to share it. It comes shortly after this. The line that circles us back to the one Lucy said toward the end of 4x08. The 'Tim Test' line she let slip. One that has been eating at him ever since. A thought that no doubt was destroying his mental health further. Adding to his overall anxiety about the connection between him and his father. Worried Lucy viewed him the same way as his father. That she associated his tests with training to the abuse his father put him through. It’s heartbreaking to watch Tim say this to her. Almost begging Lucy to relieve him of his hurt. His deep seated anxiety about this.
To alleviate him of the bottomless worry that she’s made an association between how he was abused and she was trained. NEEDING her to let him know they’re not the same. Because if they are it’ll destroy him. To think he hurt one of his favorite people because he was just like his father. It's not a thought he can handle. The fear in his eyes thinking he had done to her what his father had done to him is breaking him. Tim is unraveling at this point.
It’s the way his body language is defense and guarded as he speaks his lines above. Like he’s bracing for impact. Waiting for her to give into his deepest fears. He’s expecting the absolute worst due to his damaged past. Lucy with all the empathy in the world splayed across her face says ‘I know. You’re nothing like him…I...’ Too stunned to finish her sentence. She's hurting right along with him. Because she is seeing the load he's been carrying and wanting to relieve him of it so badly. She truly believe's he isn't like him. Needs him to know this.
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I mean back in 1x04 when she defended Tim to Nolan. When she was at the height of her tests. She said he was 'Calculating not cruel.' Lucy not once believed that of him. Always saw his good heart from day one. You can see Tim take a step back from her in the first gif. His body innately trying to protect himself. He looks so broken I wanna cry. He so desperately wants her to assuage him of his fears.
Yet when she does he can’t believe the grace she is extending to him in this moment. The way he steps back instinctively. Like he isn’t sure he can trust this. That last bit of his wall holding him back in this moment. His gut instinct to retreat from having any emotions. Especially this openly with someone. Lucy can’t stand him pushing away when he’s hurting this badly. Doesn’t waste anymore time and encases him in her arms.
Rushing to not only reassure him but to comfort Tim on a physical level. Giving him the solace he didn’t even know he needed. She does this because if she doesn't she'll start crying herself. She has never seen him this vulnerable. This open and its making her emotional too. Lucy is wanting to absorb his pain, his fears and most of all put him back together. She does so with this beautiful embrace. His beautiful sunshine human wrapping him up in her arms is just what he needed. Pushing away his dark clouds with this hug. He is stiff at first with the initial contact then gives in fully below.
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Hands down my favorite hug of all time because of the emotions that go with it. She then reassures him once again. 'You're nothing like him.' We watch Tim melt into her arms fully giving into the comfort she is providing. That wall she’s been chipping at since S1. That’s gone now. Utter rubble after this moment. Lucy validating him is everything his soul truly needed. His person confirming he was a good man. Tim’s body finally surrendering and sinking into her embrace once she spoke those words again. Reaffirming it for him.
Her opinion mattering the most. This moment screaming that in every way. Hearing this from her was EVERYTHING to him. Absolutely everything. I remember when I first watched this moment I was in awe of it. How perfectly he fit into the crook of her neck. Once again they fit together like a perfect puzzle piece. I also knew we were headed towards our endgame. This was our pre-getting together season. The emotional depth out of this episode alone I felt it. The hug solidified that gut feeling.
One of the many reasons why this is my favorite episode of the season. These are the moments I love so much because they’re developing emotionally, as characters and their relationship as a whole. It’s why they work so well in S5 when it finally happens. The bond, the growth, the things they went through together before they got together. It’s what created this amazing base they’re standing on now in s5 and what we will get in s6. I love their journey so much. Wouldn’t trade a single thing in this slow burn. Not one.
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Tim shows back up at the house. Looks like Genny has done a lot do work solo. You see the guilt splayed all over his face. He apologizes for not helping out more. Genny tells him she’s used to cleaning up messes by herself…Tim apologizes again for that and says he knows she is. He wants to be a better big brother. Genny compliments him says he’s not that bad. When he’s around....
Tim tells her that’s all gonna change. He’s going to visit for every holiday and call twice a week, and he’ll handle fixing and selling this house. That she should get home to her family. Genny replies sweetly and says he’s her family too. I do love their scenes a lot. I need more of this in s6.
She has them make a deal. That they’ll do this together and be done with it. All of it. I love this so much. There is a lot I don’t love about my childhood. But the one thing I’m eternally grateful for is the relationship with my baby sister. You can’t beat that bond. I am so happy for Tim to have it. Her asking about the gun was too funny LOL I imagine he would tell her even if it’s awkward af.
Side Notes-Non Chenford
Gonna be honest didn’t care about anything else in this ep. Other than Tamara owning Smitty’s ass repeatedly in this ep haha
Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. Makes my heart happy. Shall see you all Monday with 4x10 :)
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bones912 · 1 year
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TASTE OF LOVE ❞ -
General Sigma Yandere Headcanons
CW: Yandere themes,Mentions of Noncon,unhealthy relationships,Toxic behavior , suggestive content, yandere, murder, death threats, Kidnapping,GN! Reader
English isn’t my first language so if I misspell anything/some stuff is ooc,I apologize :,D
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- Either you were a casino visited or someone he just somehow managed to meet,Sadly he isn’t above stalking,He’s constantly watching you,He doesn’t go as far as cameras in your house but he’s constantly breathing down your next,He will try and justify it to himself even though he already knows he’s only doing it for his pleasure,But can you really blame him,your so memorizing parts of him want to blame you instead,But he knows he cannot so that,So he simply tries to justify his guilt with simply telling himself he’s doing it for your own good
-Unlike some other yanderes who are willing to wait,He’s too nervous about something happening to you,and the best solution is kidnapping,He does try his best to erm,”support” you threw this big change,and he gets it,your scared because you don’t know we’re you are,but one day you’ll understand it’s because he loves you and it’s because of that love that he did take you,And while he does try to give you time to settle down,he is awfully affectionate(even if he himself has no idea what he’s doing) he’s at least hoping that giving you said unwanted affection you’ll begin to like him faster (is that how it works? He doesn’t know)
-His love language is physical affection,Even though he has no idea what he’s doing he will try,And because he doesn’t know what he’s doing he simply pushes your boundaries ,He again tries to justify it by saying one day you’ll feel the same way about him,He also justify a himself in bed,while forcefully making love to you,Even though your telling him to stop,it’s clear you feel good by the way you squirm and gasp and grip onto the sheets and the way your body shudders when he hits a certain spot so he’s clearly doing something right? Your just stubborn and that’s okay he’ll work it out of you one day.
-Unlike some other yanderes were your aloud to atleast roam their house sadly sigma only allows you to one room,his room to be exact,he knows it can be boring but he worries about you far too much not to mention your living at the casino,if you were to get out you would probably try to convince someone to try and help you,He does feel bad though but instead of doing something about it he simply gifts you things in hopes you’ll again start liking him faster,it’s mainly books,Sometimes knitting needles,very rarely Chocolates(he once read in a book some people enjoy being gifted them)
-He thinks physical affection is a good way for new couples to bond quicker and since your technically a new couple.....He’s just desperate to make you like him,He’s extremely guilty about the entire thing but if you do start to show signs of complying then he justify it to himself,You were just scared but look now!,your so nice and you don’t talk back anymore(mainly out of fear) and you left him touch you,You just needed to be pushed in the right direction and he’s very happy with this outcome and hopefully you are too
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avatarmerida · 1 year
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Oh snap, it’s another beta huntlow drabble. This is my HC for a William/Paulina meetcute. It’s pretty simple, they meet and it’s cute. 💚💛
———
“Greetings, bird tube beast… thing, I am here to speak with the girl.” William said in a huff as he approached the Owl House, grumpy and slightly out of breath from the long walk.
“And whoooo may I say is calling?” Hooty said sweetly, twirling his neck around.
“Prince William,” he said crisply. “I’ve come to continue our conversation about proper etiquette and to speak with her guardian about her reckless behavior.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure her guardian is the one who taught her that behavior.” Hooty said. “But aaaaanyways, she’s not-.”
“I’m afraid I must insist, it is an urgent matter that I cannot prolong.”
“Okaaaay, but she’s not-.”
“I understand she will not want to face me given her poor manners, but it is a matter we must resolve like civilized people. Now, may I speak with her?”
“I shall get someone to speak to you,” said Hooty, turning his head inside and William could hear him yell. “THERE’S AN ANGRY LITTLE MAN AT THE DOOR!” he turned back to face William and offered him a smile. “She’ll be right with you, m’lord.”
“Right… thank you.”
He had worked on his speech the whole way over. He needed her help, he could not deny that, but he also needed to ensure her decorum did not continue. The door opened and a William prepared to launch right into his monlougue, but the girl who opened the door was not the girl from before. No, the girl who stood before him now was surely an angel.
“Oh, hello,” said the angel. “I’m sorry, Luz and Eda aren’t home right now. I’m watching Hooty and King while they’re away, I’m Paulina.” She reached out her hand to him and William found himself speechless for possibly the first time in his life. She was so effortlessly graceful, so delicate, so vivid. The way her peridot eyes reflected the sun made him feel as though-.
“I think he’s broken.” Spoke the bird tube and William shook himself out of his trance, realizing in embarrassment that he had been staring.
Remembering his title, he carefully took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, fair lady.” He said trying to make his voice low and mature sounding as he gently pressed a kiss to her to top of her hand.
Now it was Paulina’s turn to stare as the princely boy before her continued to hold her hand as he raised his eyes to her. There was no sarcasm in his words or insincerity in his smile, a gap in his front teeth adding to his charm. He seemed as though he was genuinely pleased to meet her which was not something Paulina was used to feeling with confidence. She felt like her heart was about to-
“Hey! Who’s at the door? Did we order food? We don’t have any money! Take the food and run!” King’s voice beckoned as the little creature pushed past Paulina only to be disappointed with the lack of snacks in William’s arms. “Oh, it’s you. Why are you kissing my servant?”
“King I told you, I’m not your servant I’m your babysitter.” Laughed Paulina, her had still in William’s as he froze in place.
“Well I guess that would be an appropriate title, IF THERE WAS A BABY HERE!” King exclaimed standing between her and William, extending his arms to her eagerly so she could pick him up. “Uppies! Uppies!”
Paulina sighed as she picked up the little creature and rested him on her hip as she turned her attention back to the handsome stranger in front of her. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”
“My name? Oh yes of course how terribly rude of me,” he said reaching for her and yet again. “Prince William, at your service m’lady.” He placed another kiss on her hand, prolonging this one as he held her gaze hoping to create the perfect first impression.
“A prince? Really?” Giggled Paulina. It was a throaty, airy giggle she had never heard herself make before. “Oh… wow.”
He was so… tall. Like, not ridiculously tall but tall enough that when he stood back up and Paulina looked up at him, he cut off the sun perfectly so that it looked as though a halo surrounded his golden hair. She didn’t remove her hand from his this time and and could’ve sworn that he tightened his grip.
“Oh! Oh! Kiss my hand! Kiss my hand!” King sang, entering their line of linked vision and reminding them they weren’t the only two people in the world as he waved his hands in William’s face. The prince didn’t know what else to do and so took King’s hand and quickly kissed it. King laughed and clapped his hands in delight. “Haha ew, you have no idea where these have been.”
“Right, anyway,” William tried to continue, now with an odd taste in his mouth. “I’m here because-.”
“-you’re soaking wet.” Paulina finished, noticing his state for the first time.
“Huh? Oh, yes that’s why I’m here,” he said, remembering the reason he came all this way. “I uh, had a run in with the human and I needed to-.”
“Here.” Paulina said, handing him a green cloth she took from her pocket.
“Oh, uh… thank you,” he said, taking the fabric from her and he suddenly realized how uncomfortable he actually was. The human had “borrowed” his sword and when he insisted of its immediate return, she forced him to chase her and he ended up falling in a barrel of some odd smelling liquid. He was suddenly very self conscious of this and hoped Paulina did not assume that this was how he usually smelled. He wished they had met under better circumstances, and he could show her the full extent of his charm. But for now, he gently dabbed his sleeves with her small offering .
“Don’t mention it,” she said sweetly, scratching King’s head. “I always keep them with me, abomination goo is hard to clean off, especially when it gets in your hair.”
“That’s only one of the reasons my hands are sticky!” King declared in delight.
“Right,” said William, taken back by the way kindness came so naturally to her. Typically when people were this kind to him, they wanted something from him. But he sensed her sweetness was constant. “Um, well if the human isn’t here then I guess I should be going…”
“Oh, right yeah.” Paulina said, remembering he hadn’t come here just to see her. “Um, did you want me to give her a message?”
“Oh, yes if you could,” he said. “Just uh, let her know that I’ll be back tomorrow. Will… you be here tomorrow?” He added as nonchalantly as he could.
“I will!” Hooty chimed in. They had forgotten he was there.
“It’s possible,” she said with a smile. “Is there anything else you want me to tell her?”
“Yes, uh tell her that while I’m less than thrilled with her actions… I’m rather impressed with the company she keeps.” He went to return her cloth to her but she held her hand up to refuse.
“Keep it,” she insisted. “I have plenty.”
“Thank you,” he said, tucking it carefully in his breast pocket for safe keeping. He tucked it close to his heart, hoping she somehow sensed the romantic sentiment. He assumed she did, as entrusting a handkerchief to a prince was a key part in every royal romance he had ever read about. Oh, this girl was perfect. Finally, someone who appreciates and understood the importance of etiquette. “I shall keep it safe.”
“Um… okay?” She said, not seeing the big deal as it was just an extra rag she felt he needed more than she did right now. “Well, William it was very nice meeting you.”
“Oh, the pleasure was all mine,” he said with a grand flourish. Once more, he reached for her hand. “Until we meet again.” He kissed her knuckle once more. He gave her one final now before turning swiftly on his heel to leave her with the perfect farewell. Any anger he came here with had since been washed away and he felt lighter than he ever had before, it was almost like he was floating back to the castle.
“Is there like jelly on your knuckles or something? Why did he keep doing that?” King wondered aloud as he examined her hands and Paulina watched William walk away with a grand sigh.
“That’s the prince Luz said was whiney and scrawny?” Paulina said, thinking he was just the opposite. Luz never mentioned his piercing eyes or the elegant way his voice flowed. She was perplexed that anyone could be anything other than charmed after meeting him. “Oh wow, I can’t believe I just met a prince.”
She hasn’t panned on visiting the owl house tomorrow, but now her mine raced with a dozen reasons to stop by.
“Pshh, big deal I totally outrank him!” King declared. “And my crown is way better!”
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spikeinthepunch · 10 months
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the other thing i really wanted to mention about CotC in more detail, esp after watching new episodes, was the times the series tackles abusive family in a way thats heavily implied or straight up shown.
most obvious example of this was the episode "Scoutguest", where Craig allows Jason to come home after he says he lost his keys. What is actually most interesting about this episode is it focuses on how Craig is completely oblivious, and how Jason's home life shows his submissiveness in home environments. The first example was Craig and Bernard fighting about chores, and Jason just goes and does the chores for him, stating he wanted to save them the argument. I'm sure many who can immediately find this familiar- the act of doing something good in order to stop your parents from yelling at you or others in the house. You just want it to stop. But Craig not knowing any better, uses this behavior to his benefit. going through the episode, Craig's mom eventually calls the number shes given (which, we dont actually know was Jason's mom, and i think it probably wasnt- probably another source that knows jason's situation) and learns/understands whats up, and is kind to him as a guest. She doesnt tell Craig anything- he's a child, itd be hard to explain, and it may be invasive to Jason to explain it to Craig. regardless, she encourages Craig to be kind and when Craig hears Jason say somethings on his own he comes to realizing how different things are- and pieces together things. There is a lesson in realizing you should watch how you treat others, not presume about other's lives, and that some times someone seeking help may be doing so in a very discreet/not obvious way.
but (spoilers for newest episodes) i actually found this topic interesting to look at with Xavier. Xavier is a bully, hes mean. We learned that Xavier never had friends because he realized they just liked how he has cool stuff, and because of that, he just bullied people back, and felt that being King got him attention enough to feel good. hes a child, and Craig intervening right now is what he needs- Xavier can change. So onto my thought- The episode where Xavier explaining his story made me uncomfortable. We havent seen much of his family life. Things we do know: his oldest brother Kennith is at college, his oldest sister Cheyenne is in highschool, an unnamed/presumed mother. Unclear about another parent.
I shouldn't assume what i don't know about Xavier (his parent situation, mainly) but its interesting that we see so little of his family outside of his siblings, because the show has been very good at showing us entire family dynamics (we saw parents for characters that hardly show up!). His family is rich, his brother is distant as he is in college, and so Xavier is basically around his sister all the time. Previously I think I just took as her as the moody highschooler who thinks her little bro is annoying. But, in episode 2 of season 5, we get his story (which again, notably, does not show anything of his parents) where he eventually shows how he wanted to get stronger to i guess, beat up Craig. This is where i got uncomfy with the implications- his sister. Cheyenne works out, and the little we saw of her as the former queen did show she was also likely a bully, and i think it may be safe to say she is toxic and abusive towards Xavier as well tbh. Like, the way she start getting physical with him in that episode... getting angry, belittling him, hitting him. It made me anxious to see, feeling what is implied about her character. she does seem 'proud' of him improving but, i think its a situation of control (as she encourages in him too) and passed off like "tough love" when its actually really bad.
Xavier is 12 years old, we cannot and should not hate him like he is unredeemable. He turned into what he is for reasons a child likely would- be it the lack of people wanting to be his friend, or the implication that his older sibling pushed him around and bullied him herself. i did not really expect to see that in these new episodes honestly- it would have been easy to just say its how Xavier didnt make friends, but i think looking harder, you can again see how abuse affects kids, in ways that are very different but both bad.
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katzirra · 3 months
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Okay, I'm a chapter from the end but I'll finish on my drive to work tomorrow but GOODNESS.
Like I keep saying; love the development of character thoughts and incentives!! It's nice to see that internal desire to be a better man in Thomas and really REALLY realizing how fucked up stuff is. The unhinging of Lucille more so.
The passage of time is done so well and is something that we don't grasp as nicely in the movie. How long this all would have gone on, how long it would have taken McMichael to get to England actually!! I love that a lot, it's very important to me. It's the biggest flaw of the movie for me; as a movie, we cannot grasp time very well. For all we know each cut is a new day, versus how drawn out days and weeks could be.
The ghosts are interesting, not as vivid an image as the movie, but my favorite is the one from under the bed. I forget which one it is right now unfortunately. I love how there's a narrative of "it watched" around the house, ghosts observing the living tenants.... ahhh
The chain of events and dramatization of events is nice, a bit eh to the original sometimes but narratively it flows nicely. I like the added sort of look in from characters who could be present in the scene in a way but not? Like Edith observing Thomas and Finn outside from the window, seeing his machine succeed. NICE TOUCH.
The desperation of her not wanting to believe her love of her life has done or did what he did and the up and down of that is much more emotional and turmoil ridden than the movie which is nice to experience. Makes me sadder. Though the final send off with them didn't hit....as hard? There's a lot to be had in that last exchange visually with the actors involved imo!! So we lose that. Lucille is much crazier and frenzied in the novel for sure - ALSO NICE NOTE OF THOMAS SEEING THE MANUSCRIPT BURNING AND IT BOTHERING HIM.
Also man!!! MAN!!! I LOVE THOMAS THOUGH. His struggle shit is so good. Him like hating that people see him for a handsome bitch and a lord~ and he's like man, I thought my wife's dad was a great dude and she saw me for my brain AND my huge dick unù
I also just... the novel really made me think more about how much I started wanting them to be able to be happy because I forget so much that her dad was an engineer?? She grew up around all that stuff and jargon!! She'd understand so much that Thomas would talk about or refer to. And as a MODERN WOMAN that's neat because it makes her that much different still....
I think the only thing I'm eh on is how DAZED I feel in this battle at the end? I feel very lost in it for some reason. Like since Thomas has been stabbed something about the pacing is throwing my ass??
I'm gonna back up and listen to the last two chapters and epilogue tomorrow :u
ALSO LIKE OKAY SO THE BIG THING WAS UHH THOMAS' FLASHBACK TO THE DAY THEIR FATHER DIED OR LIKE THE FIRST MAJOR TIME LUCILLE GOT BEATEN... The fucking GASLIGHTING AT 8 YEARS OLD BRO..... BROOOO.
Also like she's a little creep showing him foreimages on books?? LIKE DON'T SHOW HIM THE SEXY IMAGES ON THE BOOKS THAT'S WEIRD DUDE.... LIKE I'M SO.....MMMM. augh???
BUT ALSO ALSO I LOVED GETTING AN IMAGE OF THEIR FATHER HIS DISDAIN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY ESPECIALLY THEIR MOTHER AND LIKE SEEING WHERE LUCILLE WOULD DEVELOP THAT FROM... being cruel and it's learned behaviors from both mother AND father... and also more of Thomas' kind heart and inventing. I love the woman of action and man who just... never knows what to do and feels he can't help ever because his whole life he's been made to feel he can't do anything...
The guilt and gaslightis insane to think about. The it's the least you could do being the foundation of that whole incestuous situation and it just... kept going because of that narrative. If I love my sister, this makes her happy and we just can't be separated etc. INSANE. There was a lot of interesting shit with that one chapter - it packed a PUNCH???
Really good shit. Also like as much as I do love Thomas for a multi faceted little bastard, I love that the book very much is struggling to like stress that... IDK there's a lot of feelings on these characters and how they feel towards eachothet.
I do kinda wish the stabbing scene of Alan was done more emotional or weighted because it's a very well done scene and one of my favorite down strikes in the movie?? The book is very Lucille off the SHITS about it versus like HOW ARE THE MARRIED SHARPES DOIN" FELLAS? NOT GREAT. THERE'S A LOT GOING ON AND THERE'S A LOT OF BAD VIBES. Even Alan like... the author is so funny with him but I'd like to have gotten more flavor text with him there too. I did like the kinda Doctor Brain moment about thinking about organs etc.
I also might have not been paying as much attention at that moment abd might just need to go back a dee chapters tbh :0 we'll aee. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow and reflect better.
VERY GOOD THOUGH. GOSH.
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drewscrib · 1 year
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South Park HC’s That Make My Brain Microwave
OMG HI?! Basically hello I’m Andrew, I’m 16 and genderfluid (he/him pronouns). I’m black and have autism/adhd and am hyperfixated on south park and community. 
ANYWAYS. First post and I didn’t feel like posting art so instead I will be posting all my headcanons for the sp kids because I need to dump this somewhere so it doesn’t stay microwaving in my head for forever!! HEEHEE
KYLE
Uses He/Him pronouns and is latino
Biromantic Asexual (Canon ace)
Was born in Jersey and moved to SP when he was 4
Best friends with Stan, close friends with Tolkien
Has a group account on tiktok with Kenny, Stan, and Tolkien but didn't include Cartman because he's afraid of being banned/cancelled
Has a tooth growing out the wrong way
Pretty good at cooking but cannot make anything with cheese for some reason
Mostly wears dress shirts and khaki pants, can NOT dress properly and tries to match everything with his hat
Outgrew his old hat at about 13
STAN
Uses He/Him, half japanese and half white
Likes playing guitar, tries to be romantic with it but sounds ridiculously cringe
Bisexual disaster of a human being
Always supplies the booze at parties and NOBODY knows where he gets it
Hopeless romantic that can't get enough of foreign rom-dramas, and makes Kyle Kenny and Eric watch with him
Cries when he sees stray animals because he thinks they look sad
Has blemishes on the back of his neck and cheeks, picks at his skin absent-mindedly
Has meds for his adhd but forgets to take them
Struggles with homework because reading annoys him
KENNY
He/She/They pronouns, genderfluid and gynosexual, white
Likes baking but doesn't usually have time for it
Has night-terrors of dying, but doesn't die repeatedly like in canon
Has acne on his forehead but covers it with his hair
Has ocd and is genuinely afraid of roaches because he thinks they are a bad omen
Chews his coat sleeves, and he now has bite marks on them as a result.
Likes wearing face masks, huge germaphobe because of how unsanitary his home was growing up
Loves magic and magicians and doesn't give a shit if it's fake or not
Close friends with Butters and bonds over Hello Kitty Island Adventure
MIGHTTT like Butters (he does)
CARTMAN
He/Him, aromantic bi-curious
If asked his pronouns he would say "The boy ones duh."
Isn't as intolerant as he seems, just weirdly uneducated
Doesn't know what aromantic means, but does not feel strictly romantic attraction
Secretly a huge bitch and regularly volunteers at his animal shelter
Actually has Tourette's, but he has coprolalia and most of his tics are phrases repeated by his friends
His mom dresses him for school because he can't properly dress and doesn't know what looks good on him
He's a 'decent' person once he gets older, and starts to look for help after his mom has a breakdown over his behavior (It makes him feel like a shitty person)
Him and Kenny actually bake together when they have the time, but they insult each other and can't ever decided if they should add pot or not
Secretly enjoys watching rom-dramas with Stan
BUTTERS
Trans-fem, He/She, panromantic ace and white
LOVES stuffed animals and only gets stuffed animals for her birthday
Also loves sanrio and wears hello kitty friendship bracelets with the others
Likes singing along to Stan's music when he practices guitar, and hums the sound for each string so Stan can accurately tune it
Plays video games with everyone, but only if she can be a girl avatar while they play
Learns to stand up for herself and becomes closer friends with Cartman once he becomes a bit less of a manipulative dick
Has nightmares about being drowned, him and Kenny sneak to each others house when they have night terrors to calm each other down
MIGHTTT like Kenny (She does)
Fibs to everyone about her eye scar for fun, and when anyone asks her about it she comes up with the most far-fetched bullshit lie just because it's funny
Runs into Cartman by accident because she likes to visit the shelter he works at, starts to visit everyday after to talk with him about cats
CRAIG
Trans-masc, He/They, Gay + Korean
His parents got him more guinea pigs and now he has a 'pig farm'
Fidgets with his hat and chews on the fluffy parts at the bottom
Loves making random foods with Tweek, occasionally makes brownies with Kenny and Cartman
Has no idea why, but has chronic migraines
Autistic and has a hard time fixing his tone of voice to properly express emotions, he also can't stop nibbling at his hands as a stim
Has anxiety, but is better at managing it then Tweek
Very touchy with his friends because he doesn't know how else to show affection and is uncomfortable giving verbal affection
Sometimes sleeps with his binder on by accident, has to be reminded to take it off by Tweek
Teaches his friends Korean but teaches them different words without them knowing it (Example: one time Cartman made him teach him how to say "Fuck off queer" and Craig taught him to say "I love you and I am gay" instead)
TWEEK
Trans male, He/Him, Gay + Hispanic
Drinks coffee more because his parents own a coffee shop
Actually has pretty good parents, they just don't know how to talk to him sometimes
Anxiety and panic attacks (CLEARLY)
Provides weed for every party seemingly out of nowhere (he uses a fake id to buy it from Randy)
Keeps buying Craig guinea pig items because he has a special interest for rodents
Surprisingly good at homework and is a tutor for elementary kids
Bites his lips until they bleed and carries chewlery to stop himself
Wants to be a therapist, but is worried he's too anxious/off-putting for it
Tics less and has more manageable anxiety because he takes anti-anxiety medication
Loves bouncy houses and will not resist going on one when he sees it
I might make another part but it is 4am and I'm rewatching s5 and wanna draw, teehee thanks for reading these rambles
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dragoncookies · 9 months
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(PT 2) STELLARLUNE ANALYZATION: Chapters 3-5
(foreword) This is a series where I go through each chapter of Stellarlune and dissect it for y’all. I bring up things you might have missed, the importance of what is said and what happens in each chapter, how it might relate to the book as a whole or how it might relate to the series as a whole. This book might seem boring and useless, but when you look at it, it’s really just a book that steps back and reflects on the whole series. It’s like the series is taking a refreshing deep breath and putting everything from the past together, so it can go and deliver a WILDLY  wonderful ending. All I can say is that the book gets way sweeter on the second read, and it might be too early to say, but my guess is that it’ll age finer than wine.
(excuse my grammar/spelling mistakes)
Chapters 3-5:
I’ll be honest, these chapters were a little sluggish, but at the same time...it was interesting to read about Gisela and Cassius lore. I’ll say why later in this post, but It was dark and creepy and tense; well written. There’s also a bunch of notable tid-bits in these scenes from Cassius’s memory and just what he has to say. He’s not a useless character or a 2d character, that’s for sure. Lets dive in, shall we?
SUMMARIES:
(because I forget too)
Ch 3 summary: Sophie shows up at Cassius’s house and they banter for a bit after Sophie tells him that Keefe ran away. Sophie originally went there to get Cassius’s pathfinder so she could look for Keefe in the Forbidden cities, but Cassius tells her he’s working on another assignment from the Black Swan that has to do with the trollish treaty and such after what happened at Everglen (in flashback). He also has a memory he recovered that Lady Gisela tried to wipe from his mind, so Sophie agreed to watch it. 
Ch 4 summary: Sophie and Cassius watching the memory
Ch 5 summary: Sophie and Cassius banter about the following→ Cassius’s parenting, whether or not Sophie should keep looking for Keefe (she shouldn’t) or if letting Gisela finish the final step of Stellarlune on Keefe is a good idea.
Ch 3:
Sophie REALLY hates Cassius. Like, the Cassius slander is HEAVY throughout this chapter. She just gotta quip at his behavior for every reason. 
One thing that is made strikingly clear by Sophie’s conversations with Cassius is how emotionally driven she is, especially when compared to Cassius’s almost purely objective approach to things. They’re almost foils of each other, in this sense.
Also, the dialogue in the first few pages of this chapter is lowkey entertaining, even from Ro. 
“’If Keefe had come home with me-’
‘he would’ve run off even faster,’ Ro finished for him. ‘Probably would’ve left a Keefe shaped hole in one of these walls.’” (page 36). 
Haha funny for no reason. Anyways.
Ro is REALLY given an actual purpose (as are a shocking majority of the characters) as I continue to reread through stellarlune. As much as I cannot stand how nosy and obnoxious Ro can be, her background has a whole chunk of the dialogue in this chapter. I will have far more to say on Ro’s character when we get to the part where she actually leaves later on so stay tuned for that.
Now, with Lord Cassius here, we have been shown an important revelation on the current state of political affairs in the Lost Cities, and a reminder that the Black Swan is a little bigger than we thought. It makes me curious as to what other things go on behind the scenes in the Black Swan. 
Also: Sophie said she really does hate secrets. Why did sophie say she hates secrets when her wanting privacy is literally the whole point of conflict between her and Fitz for the entire previous book and the rest of Stellarlune???? Smh.
The troll treaty negotiations are stalled at the moment!!!! Empress Pernille has closed the borders and doesn’t want the elves messing with them atm, basically. This means there MIGHT be more mutant trolls. Wild. The trolls want to be isolated from everyone…which is kind of what the neverseen wants if we’re being honest…scary. 
One question: Why does the black swan want to protect the councilors from being overthrown if there’s so much emphasis on how the councilors are flawed? What is the point? 
CH4:
This is where I notice things really start to get interesting in this book. 
I love when Shannon describes telepathy. Like all the “swooping and spinning” and “sinking into warmth” and describing the mind like a room makes me imagine Sophie and everyone else as little glowing people in the mind, navigating the endless maze. She describes it so vividly, its so fun to imagine being Sophie when she gets blasted by wind or goes on a rollercoaster-esc loop, or goes somewhere small and quiet, or just somewhere blue. Like that is so cool, who goes ahead describes a mind like that? And every mind in the series is different too. It's just so cool. Anyways. Back to Gisela and Cassius lore. 
This chapter really makes you think about Cassius’s and Gisela’s relationship. Its important to understand, since Gisela is like a main villain giving her character depth (like what her relationship with Cassius was exactly like) makes her feel like a REAL person, more like us. Which makes her scarier. 
This scene is where Gisela throws away her act of just wanting Keefe to be strong to make her and Cassius look good. 
Man, from the first read, it really seems like Shannon is trying to redeem Cassius with this memory. “gosh Shannon, please don’t redeem Cassius…please stop trying to redeem him”, but it’s less “poor Cassius” and more we just get to understand Cassius, because what I get out of this is that Cassius really loved Gisela, and Gisela was just using him to have a strong baby (which is sort of like the entire flaw of matchmaking…hmmm…). Like when Gisela starts explaining all these wack things she’s doing, he’s just completely shocked. Like she really flat out told him that his role was done, and he’d already provided his DNA so she didn’t need him anymore. No wonder Cassius said the memory was personal, I would be HEARTBROKEN. He’s not the best, but maybe there’s a reason he’s so cold…
If you hadn’t before, you REALLY start to see how creepy Gisela is, too. At the end of this chapter, Gisela just drugs him, and as his world slowly fades to black she whispers “don't fight it, it’ll all be over soon enough” (paraphrasing page 57). Damn she's creepy. Just, her carelessly messing with Cassius’s heart for her own gain, and doing painful horrible things to herself, to Cassius and to their relationship...she’s so sick omg. She really built Cassius the whole illusion of a happy marriage. What if Cassius was actually a happy surfer guy before Gisela? Maybe thats why his getaway is on the beach. Who knows? Maybe Gisela ruined an avid beach-boys listener and a regular cowabunger. Its all so messed up, but the theme of the importance of family is strengthened through all of this. 
What I start to wonder as I read through this chapter is…why? Why does Gisela want Keefe to be super powerful? WHY does she want to rule the world? 
She mentions she wants to harness all the elements because she believes it will make her ultra-powerful, but for WHAT? 
Gisela talking about the elements also reminds me how elemental elves are. They really are such nature-y beings. Little hippies. Talking to plants. Never killing animals. Using scrolls. No technology and A LOT of living with nature’s cycles. They see so much power in elements that Gisela is convinced she can be all-powerful if she uses all them. I ought to start seeing the elven world in a more woodsy aesthetic lmao. Alas, Shannon’s world-building never ends. 
The most important thing we learn in this chapter is that Keefe needs to go through one last step to really finish his transformation of his abilities. Yay!
Ch5:
Cassius’s mind was really messy after the memory, so he definitely did love her and he’s definitely messed up by that. Even Shannon’s most hateable characters get backstory and understanding, so you don't have to like what they did but it makes the story she’s telling so enriching. 
This chapter highlights how stubborn or blindsighted by emotions Sophie can be, but at least she can be persuaded. She neglects that Cassius has an OBJECTIVE approach and thinks he has a COLD HEARTED approach, and struggles to wrap her brain around the concept that Cassius could actually, in fact, be right in his suggestion that Keefe needs to finish the process of his new abilities to function properly. The fact that she sees “cold hearted” and “objective” as synonymous proves that she’s just a very emotionally driven person, which is important to understand, considering the entire series is from her point of view and if we really want to understand the story we have to understand how Sophie might tell the story. 
Also, Sophie JUST NOW realizes how she probably should have read through the archetype before she burned it. Nice one girly. I’m sorry I bag on her so much during these first few chapters, it gets better later I promise.  AND WHAT WAS THIS SHANNON:
“Lord Cassius couldn’t be right...
...
...
...could he?” (page 62). 
TAKE AWAY HER ENTER BUTTON. Made me chortle a little but like Shannon what. 
Not much else to say about this chapter. The last page was a masterpiece, though. 
“Let him take care of himself, he’s been doing it his whole life” (page 66). 
I’m not all about the endless Keefe sob story we get throughout the series, but the way it's told on page 66 is quite sad and impactful. Like oof, the self-actualization from Cassius and the cold hard truth…ouch Shannon. That hurt. Chefs kiss to the writing but yeowch. 
Overall, these few chapters are pretty satisfying because both Cassius and Sophie change a little. Cassius starts off presented as his usual hateable self, but by the end of these chapters you feel a little heavier, a little older and a little colder because of him. He just gets deeper as a character. Sophie changes her mind about finding Keefe and actually listens to Cassius’s reasoning, which is important because it changes the trajectory of this section of the book. It would have been ooc for her to just not care or decide on her own not to find Keefe because she cares about Keefe ALOT (a lil too much sometimes I’ll be honest), but it did take 5 chapters to get to this point. She also could have gone on a mission to look for Keefe, but thank goodness she decided not to, for the sake of the plot and the other characters. Victory!
She really does talk to herself a lot. 
Anyways, stay tuned for more!
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kittiesfordays · 1 year
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live commentary, as i experience moonlight chicken for the first time ep8
i have returned from my slumber and am finally watching episode 8
Also what do you mean it doesn't have a million views yet?
this mall interaction was earthmix not jimwen
There's no one else for me but jimwen
Wen just said - you're moving in with me, right now - and i respect him for that, he gets things done.
What was that printed out card 😂😂
Gaipa💖
Jim has no tact, how do you say that to someone - hahaha lol ur mom died, do u want to go back to selling raw chicken
I know it's the reality, and while it feels like the world has stopped, it's still spinning, but like... don't bring up his dead mom like that
Is jim trying to get a job?
Who's car did they push like that?
Heart i would die for you but i will not watch you chop food, i'm sorry
Pls let them go
Omgomgomgomg 🥺🥺🥺
Ew, flirting in public like that
Li ming's got some serious moves
Heart's so shy 🥺🥺🥺
Jim finally got his boba
Guncle and gephew bonding time❣️
Not chicken elder and his young lover taking a picture with his car, please, that's elderly behavior
Don't take it wen i swear to god
Gaipa and Alan 💖❣️💖❣️💖❣️💖
I truly have been treated well to see both of them in the same frame
Bitch he's flirting
He did not ask for his phone number for job purposes, he is so flirting this makes me sick
So sick and twisted to make me feel this way
So he now owns a food truck
I hate the dishes clattering, it physically hurts my ears
Everything at li min's mother's house was sick and twisted i have feelings about it
Alan's coming to gaipa, love to see it
You two know each other? - gaipa asking very cursed questions
Chicken rice with no blood cube? W-what's a blood cube? 😨
No offal - offal being organs. Waste not want not
I also don't want to make it seem like i'm disrespecting traditional food, but i do have extreme food aversion so all i eat is basically unseasoned chicken and pasta (which sounds worse that anything ever, i know that) so seeing anything else at all just isn't it and organs and blood? I'm sorry, but i cannot
Wen signing 🥺
Not wen petting jim's stomach like there's mpreg involved
Wen declined the promotion, thank god
Ok i need a special episode to see how everyone's doing like a year in
I'm so 🥺🥺🥺💔❤️‍🩹
Thoughts and opinions :
A truly wonderful slice of life show
lovable characters (including all my jim slander) that are flawed and make mistakes and try their best
Just so so so so good
i believe this is truly the best series gmmtv has put out (idk about any straight media bc i so not consume straight content as it is my belief that straight people should not be allowed)
Can you believe earthmix were in their divorce era while filming? Because i truly cannot.
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sleepybastxrd · 2 years
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I've been thinking a lot about the radio shack scene when Dylan mentions he used to be a camper in Hackett's Quarry. Well so that single line that doesn't get any attention was enough for me to make up a whole background theory about Dylan. Because that means he's been around since he was a kid. And that he has known about the Hacketts for a long while.
The fact that he has been going to camp for years means he must have a personal connection to the place. I think he might actually be from North Kill, and he has been hearing for a while there were something up with the Hacketts because there's no way there aren't any rumors in town about the reclusive family of the old quarry.
Also, he is familiar enough with Chris that he convinced him to let him take over the radio station some years back (which im guessing it's not something that any camper or counselor can do). Also, this would explain why he seemed dubious about Kaylee and Caleb, because he had known them for some time and he was aware of their unusual behavior. I like to think he even might have tried to get closer to them (mostly Kaylee, who is closest to him on age) but he got pushed away.
And not to forget that he was the only one that was acting scared before anyone knew what was going on exactly (in the campfire he stays back while Ryan and Kaitlyn run after hearing Abi screaming). Because he /maybe/ knew there were something to be afraid of. He suddenly remembered the rumors.
My theory is that he had heard talk about the Hacketts never leaving their house or the camp, about them hiding something... And some rumors inevitably must had built up and become more fantastical and fishy.
Now I think Dylan didn't believe any of that, he just saw the Hacketts as a reserved kinda strange family that just wanted to keep to themselves. That's why he didn't think twice about proposing the party by the fire to the others.
But oh, suddenly people start screaming and there are gunshots and he feels all those suspicions coming back at him. And we know he is very prone to panicking real fast.
Later, his reaction to Nick's wound is just SO SUSPICIOUS. Like how he automatically noticed the black marks of the infection? How his first reaction was "We have to amputate". Like that's not normal at all!! There must be a reason for him to say that!! Maybe some conspiracionist from North Kill somehow came to the werewolf conclusion?? Or maybe Dylan just watches too many movies, I can admit that too. But still it's so! Suspicious! I cannot not look for some background there.
tldr— Dylan is originally from North Kill, he's known Hackett's Quarry and the family for ever, he heard a lot of rumors about them that he didn't believe and then he realized there was actually something up with the Hacketts in the worst way
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kamorth · 10 months
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I have had an epiphany.
Yesterday we were having a car conversation about Christians, specifically the difficulties in communicating annoyance at extremists while not throwing regular Christians under the bus. Obviously this ended up boiling down to "what are the differences between Christians who annoy me and Christians I get along with".
(I'm not writing that out every time so for the rest of this post amd only for the purposes of this post I am going to refer to People Who Believe In One God And Follow The Teachings Of Jesus Christ as oranges and People Who Claim To Do That But Are Utterly Horrible People Anyway as apples. Also before anyone jumps on that particular fruit cart, I'm not an atheist and this post has nothing whatsoever to do with whose religion is correct. It's about the behavior of a specific subset of a self identifying group of people. I'm specifically talking about Christian apples here but apples can be any flavour, atheist apples are also very common.)
I have a specific apple in my life who I really wish I didn't have to deal with. She is unavoidable as she's part of my kid's life and he's 19 so I can't make that decision for him. She is the absolute epitome of appleness. She cannot have a conversation with anyone without it either being about Jesus or why everything is their fault and we should all pray about it right now. If you try to change the subject to something more neutral (like the weather) she just gets this sad little condescending smile and starts acting like she's humoring a 3 year old. She makes herself weep in joy by singing hymns to herself when she thinks we think she thinks there's no one watching. If you have any experience with apples you have met someone who is trying to be this woman. She is going to be my case study.
Recently my kid graduated. He fought incredibly hard through mountains of shit ON TOP of being 16 when the pandemic started to get to that and I am supremely proud of him. She thought he could have done better but honestly I don't see how. There was no "better " to be done. He did the best, period. He had two graduation ceremonies, one for his school and one for local Indigenous students (there were 67 students from 3 schools at that ceremony and I cried the entire time Holy shit THAT was how you recognize effort and celebrate achievement it was just beautiful) and we attended both. During these ceremonies I glanced over at her occasionally - at first it was because she showed up late to the Big House and tried to make a scene when the ushers wouldn't walk her through the dancers to take her to her reserved front row seat and instead gave her a folding chair at the back - and I noticed something.
She never applauded. She never stood. She never engaged in any way. The only time she reacted positively to anything was when my kid, the student she was there for, had his name called. She tapped her wallet against her had three times (someone who had come with us saw that and mentioned it to me, I was too busy cheering and making my hands go red) and... that was it. She didn't even hang around to thank our hosts. At the second ceremony, the one at the school (still fun, but it didn't have the gravitas and meaning of the first one), she was more engaged but not by much. One of the teachers there is an orange and one of the kids thanked Jesus so I guess that counted for more in her eyes.
I thought about all the times I have bowed my head at a restaurant or her dinner table so someone can say grace, or kept my mouth shut while her husband gave the most offensive Christmas speeches (about saving brown heathen babies by bringing them to Jesus or how Jewish people are orange-hating gatekeepers for some examples) or gone to her church without saying what I really thought because it was a family thing and I was trying to be respectful and not cause strife.
And I realized that was it, that was the core of what irritates me so much. That utter lack of respect she has for other people's beliefs, opinions, or interests.
She expects a respect that she is not willing to give. You can't even EARN that respect from her because she thinks she is the only one who deserves it. We are so far beneath her that she can't even deign to clap for graduating students at a graduation ceremony, yet we are expected to actively practice her religious rituals whenever she is around. We are expected to forget our own rituals for the sake of hers in every single situation that she has an awareness of.
She will NEVER do that for us.
She can't even be respectful of a culture that her own specific sect of her religion is still actively trying to commit cultural genocide against while there is a national conversation about the 20,000 dead children that have been found so far as a result of that genocide.
She called the Indigenous Graduation ceremony "quaint". I was crying because a grandmother was dancing in full regalia and her face was a portrait of pure unbridled bliss that had been fought hard for and that grandmother knew how hard the fight had been because she had been on the front lines of it her entire life and her own survival to see this celebration of her culture was a bigger victory than any apple could ever understand. I have no idea how anyone could call that "quaint".
And I realized that that's the common thread with apples. Whatever they do that specifically annoys me, the core of it comes down to expecting a respect they have no intention of giving.
By comparison, most oranges never even bring up religion unless it's relevant to the conversation, and when they do they're normal about it. They show interest in the beliefs of others and don't immediately respond to things with "you know that will send you to hell right".
If you think you might be an apple, it's really easy to fix. Show others the respect you want shown to you. Don't assume that your way is the only correct way. Acknowledge that other people have as much right to their beliefs as you have to yours.
In other words:
Do unto others as you would have done to you.
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crazymcwritesalot · 2 years
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If your pets were characters of your fandom(s), which would they be?
We spent five seconds thinking about Sanctuary characters with my gf and may I present you, from left to right - Alphonse/Henry, Maud/Helen and Patate/Nikola.
I'll let you admire these cuties and I'll explain under ⬇️
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Patate/Nikola: a loveable jerk. Always annoyed, complains a lot. Will absolutely ransack your house. Doesn't seem to feel any pain. Attention seeker and very vocal drama queen that will definitely go to an empty room and cry about how lonely it is to be in an empty room. Evil genius, knows exactly what will trigger you. Will comment on anything he's doing, loudly. In love with Maud/Helen but will still stick his paws in her body when she's sleeping, likes to sleep on her, revels in her getting so annoyed that she bites him. Wants to be kissed a lot.
Also, he likes to attack Alphonse/Henry and teach him some bad behavior.
Alphonse/Henry: first, he's an absolute cutie. Rescued when he was small, very food motivated, kind of scared all the time. He's a victim but tough. He's got huge eyes that will melt your heart. Very scared of his own strength, will definitely but gently put his teeth to your hand when you've annoyed him and look at you with a scared look that says "don't make me bite you". Plays tough but needs hugs. Likes to get his head licked by Maud/Helen and secretly glad to have Patate/Nikola around to play.
He is the sweetest.
Maud/Helen: Half unphazed, half unimpressed. Surrounded by adolescents. Will absolutely judge you but still loves you unconditionally. Always there to support you when you're sick, or doing yoga. Exasperated by her housemates, won't move a paw when they fight, except if it gets violent. Small but fierce. Gorgeous queen of the house. Loves to run alone after things she's the only one to see. Will bit the crap out of anyone that threatens her. Likes to play like a wild girl but only when she cannot be seen by the two others, otherwise she'll sit back and quietly judge them while they jump for the feathers.
Watches out for Alphonse/Henry and Patate/Nikola but will occasionally bite their butts. Expects them to provide her with food. Harassed by Patate/Nikola but secretly loves him (I mean, she does settle next to him for a nap when he is sleeping).
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purplesurveys · 2 years
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1498
What's a restaurant that you won’t ever have dinner/eat at again? I’ve been stuck on this question in the last ten minutes but I guess I’ve never had a particularly horrific experience with a restaurant to the point of me not wanting to ever go back. 
But in general, I do avoid dining in at fast food restaurants because I’m never sure of how clean (or not) those places are. I know it’s no different when I get fast food for delivery lol but I feel more comforable when I’m eating in my own home.
Did you have your morning coffee this morning? Or do you not like coffee? I did. I always have to for work, or else I’d be cranky, all over the place, or both.
Is there someone you know that is absolutely repulsive? One of my former religion teachers. He got away with a lot of crap in the past, like throwing students out of the class for not having textbooks, yelling at his students, etc, because for the longest time no one spoke up (times were different and disciplining kids through those methods was seen as normal). He really only started getting cancelled in recent years now that the younger generation has felt more empowered to call out shitty behavior.
Are you tired from last night? Did you stay up late last night at all? Not last night since it’s already currently 11:30 in the evening, but I am tired from today’s workday, yes, as I usually am. And yes, my body clock has slightly adjusted recently too – I normally sleep at around 2 or 3 AM now.
Have you ever seen like THE hottest guy ever and just almost collapsed? I would probably react like this if I saw Taehyung in concert but otherwise no.
Do you eat randomly, just whenever the hell you want? Not really. I like to feel super hungry first before I dig in.
Did you have trouble getting up this morning? Eh, I wouldn’t say so. I will say though that I used to regularly wake up at 8 AM to get pre-work done (my shift starts at 9) but it’s been months since I did that. I roll out of bed at like 8:55 now - just enough time for me to make coffee and splash some water on my face. Burnout does that to you.
What's a movie you cannot BARE to ever watch again? I mean it’s bear, but ANYWAY. I don’t think I will ever watch I’m Thinking of Ending Things again. I’m a big Charlie Kaufman fan so the fact upsets me, but it was the last movie I saw before the breakup that I had to go through, so. Lots of personal layers in there that I would prefer never to revisit and unpack again.
What’s a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww”? Parent-child reunions always hit me right in the feels. Stories about human connection also make my chest heavy -- like that viral TikTok series of the piano dude who found a bond with his elderly neighbor who also played the piano.
Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? I have quite soft hands. Idk how it is in other cultures but in the Philippines the older generations will usually judge kids and whether they’re lazy or otherwise by feeling their hands, because the idea there is someone who’s gone through hardships in life and have done some hard labor will inevitably have rougher ones. And I’ve definitely been suspected that I “don’t do a lot of chores” because of my hands, lol.
Have you ever burnt a food, and make the whole house smell gross? Not me but it happens all the time with my mom - she always forgets she’s making rice. Fortunately burnt rice doesn’t emit a foul smell per se, but it will give off a scent that will send alarm bells ringing and will make you run to the kitchen immediately.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if you had your own personal jet pack? Nah. Jet packs only sounded cool in Grand Theft Auto LOL but at the end of the day I think there are other convenient modes of transport.
What’s your opinion on perfumes that are REALLY expensive? Do you like them? I’m fine with those as long as they don’t smell too strong. There are perfumes that straight up smell like the inside of an old old OLD closet and I hate those.
Have you ever really hated a teacher and practically made it clear you did? No because I went to Catholic school, aka a place where they constantly instill fear and trauma onto students. I hated some of my teachers but had to express those feelings very privately and only with close friends because the second I made it obvious, I know they wouldn’t have hesitated to make my life hell.
Who got you hooked on the addiction you’re addicted to (If you have one)? Nobody got me into this Bangtan shit other than myself, lol. Angela helped a lot with orienting me with them though. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? I’m not scared of being around horses, but I also don’t like getting on them because I’ve never taken any lessons. I’m also constantly paranoid that they might get spooked and throw me off and onto the ground.
Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Once. I don’t remember what it was that I ate anymore, but I was stuck in a situation where I couldn’t just spit the piping hot food out so I had it in my mouth until my tongue essentially felt numb. It had some tiny red spots for a few days after the incident.
If you could live next door to ANYONE, who would you want to live beside? Someone who knows how to play the piano and likes to play full pieces.
Do you think your friends are pretty? Do your friends think you’re pretty? They are. Idk what they think of me though.
Do you like having random power naps now and then? Only during the weekends.
Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? No.
Do you like concerts? If so, do you like being in the mosh pit? I love concerts, but I’ve never been in a mosh pit. Even though I’ve gotten literal front row tickets to a Paramore show, this was during the era where they shifted their sound to more new wave/synth pop (to the point of them actually doing their Riot!/Brand New Eyes songs with the corresponding synth-y vibes) so no one was moshing that night lol.
Have you ever “liked” two guy best friends at the same time? I’ve never even liked one guy.
Do you think having a sleepover with a guy is theoretically acceptable? Not in the Philippines it ain’t, unless you’re sneaking out or you have the chillest parents in the country.
Do you like to have cake on your birthday? Which kind of cake in mind? Never was a fan of cake. I’ve always preferred savory food to celebrate lol, like sushi and wings.
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RISKY EMOTIONS WHILE REBOOTING
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I’ve got another question from a brother in our group today. He says:
“Hey brothers, I have to stay accountable and report to you. I’ve had multiple slips over the past two days, twice yesterday and once today. It started when I was tired from the gym and came home to no one else in the house. I now recognize that isolation and tiredness were two major vulnerabilities.
“I looked at some images first but it quickly progressed into watching pornography. Then this morning I laid around in bed for a while and ended up looking at images on my phone again. It didn’t take long for me to open up a few tabs of porn again.
“This has happened so many times, easily hundreds. It has left me feeling off and scared, scared that I’m not going to be successful and that I’ll spend the rest of my life a complete mess. I know it’s down to me to change it but what if I don’t have it in me?”
I always appreciate it when a brother comes to us and shares where he is at. Growth only comes when we’re willing to ask for help. I know that at face value this might sound like a great share. It seems like it’s full of authenticity and accountability. However, there are some things in here to be wary of.
First, he ends his post by saying he feels off and scared because it’s something that’s happened “hundreds” of times. He feels his life is a “complete mess.” These statements are full of heavily charged emotions.
He also explains he had multiple slips within 24 hours. Here’s the thing, though. If you slip up repeatedly in a day then you’re now in a relapse, not just a slip. He should just say that he relapsed and leave it at that. A relapse isn’t much worse than a slip; you still get the same result.
Second, he did a great job of identifying his mistakes but he did nothing to change the situation. It’s great to recognize where you’re going wrong but recognition does nothing if you don’t take action to change it. Recognition is the first step but action is where the true change occurs. He needs to take this awareness going forward and apply action next time temptation arises.
Third, there are quite a few issues he could have addressed to keep himself less vulnerable. He mentions feeling tired which arises from a problem with self-care. He also says he was looking at his phone which could have been avoided if he kept his phone out of his room. And he also said he came home to an empty house so he could have reached out to someone because he knew he was in a risky place.
All of these things are valid porn addiction problems during your early reboot. If you don’t have much experience applying the reboot system to your life, they’re likely to arise at some point. The system outlines clear actions to take which can help you avoid these things but many of them are inevitable in the beginning.
Learning from other brothers in the group is a great way to recognize areas where you may eventually fall short or need some help. Take his view of his life as a complete mess, for example. How many times have you thought the same thing? How often have you felt like you’re never going to control your behavior?
Most of these experiences are common for all of us. They’re things we struggle with at various points during our reboot. But they don’t have to be things that take us down for the long run. Every man who arrives with porn addiction problems at the Porn Reboot program has a chance to change his life. None of us are hopeless or beyond recall. We all have the opportunity to become better men.
These emotionally-charged statements will hold you back from recognizing your ability to change, though. If you cannot take control of your emotions you’ll find they will drive your decisions over and over again. The sooner you learn to control your emotions the better. And implementing the Pornography Addiction Counseling which is the Porn Reboot into your life is the best place to start.
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