Happy Forced Mother’s Day!
It’s been ages, but we’re finally celebrating the first mandatory mother’s day since 1973! This year I want to provide gifts for all future American mothers, even the ones who can’t survive childbirth. It is only ethical that I first tell you what I really wanted to give, but couldn’t, because it wasn’t worth my time.
What I can’t give is the number of women or girls thoughtless enough to die from internal bleeding, insufficient healthcare, birth, or by having a body that is arrogantly unable to be in labor. I can’t add up the families who, after a hemorrhage from placental abruption, pick to save either the baby, or their wife’s, no doubt melodramatic, life. I’m too busy to count how many women will be forced to birth a baby without organs, or a fetus that’s been dead inside them for months, how many have to pop out kids with the stunning sparkling eyes of their rapist, or be tied to a physically or emotionally abusive spouse forever, regardless of how genuinely funny he is. It’s kind of boring to figure out how many condoms will break on teenagers with no access to birth control, or condoms that don’t even work to begin with. What’s a mere 2 or 15%? Can’t be more than ten billion people. I’m not in the mood to tally every 12-year-old girl in absolutely painless labor, with the angel baby of their father/uncle/cousin, who eventually make great little moms to kids named Dad II, or Uncle Jim Jr. I can’t speak to the men who secretly remove their condom, except that it’s a cool trick that feels good, and that it behooves you to be in a bedroom with some ambiance. I can’t estimate the families who’ll go hungry, in the researched and evidenced boost of poverty this ban brings. I’ve never even met a poor person. I heard they just survive on potatoes and the government’s money. That reminds me, I haven’t eaten in two hours, and I’m starving.
Just sit there while I explain, as a straight white starving Christian male, why that makes me the expert entitled to end female freedom, and share the gifts of what I can and will extend this Forced Mother’s Day. I can laugh as loud as the goddamn ocean at the suggestion of laws forcing men to get vasectomies, wear condoms, or practice abstinence, because… come on, seriously? Legislating men’s bodies is the equivalent of talking over me when I’m discussing Barstool Sports- you just don’t do it. I can to save the lives of what no scientist has ever called “the unborn,” but that only goes in one direction. I can rationalize incest, tell a far too provocative child to stop being such a drama queen about molestation. I can tell people to close their eyes and imagine what they would do if they or their spouse were pregnant, because everyone’s resources, education, religion, community, and experiences are all the same, all equal, so thirty seconds of daydreaming is surely enough to know what every woman in America should do. I can tell women who have been raped to ‘take one for the team’ because of my good morals, and then never think about them again. I can do it all by overturning Roe v Wade.
Now that’s real power! I love power. Some will whine and nag like a real wife, about how my power cannot be maintained without the control of reproduction, because if and when a woman has a baby, is the largest determinant in her economic status, education, health, and life expectancy. But that’s just an insanely large coincidence. It’s also chance, and not our responsibility, that banning abortion legally, is proven to not ban abortion in reality. We still need to do the “right thing.” What a happy accident that controlling women is the only ‘big government’ idea my party is more obsessed with than Facebook or racism.
Indeed, my party’s whole platform is defined by “small government.” After incessantly preaching rights to privacy, civil liberties, religious freedoms (not including Muslims and non-assimilated Jews), gun rights, mask mandates, and leaked Supreme Court drafts of awesome stuff, we want everyone to know that the exception is women's genitals. We stand for hard-working Americans not being financially responsible for a living (eye roll) baby’s health, their care, or time with their lazy dads, and frail moms who need to “feel better.” We uphold that the best education is exclusively for studs born into enough wealth to wear stylish leather shoes that cost more than is allocated to America’s healthcare. And when some shrill know-it-all researches that contraceptives, birth control, and mental health resources, are all things “proven” to lower abortion rates, we know it’s a lie that only helps frigid sluts. We demand the government stay out of our personal lives with hookers, and regulations on businesses where employees make enough money sleep in their cozy cars. I mean, my god, corporations are people. Just like unborn babies are people. Women are technically people too, but it’s different. It’s not sexist, women are sex-y, they’re decorative flower-like bodies that god put together like Legos, to keep men company when football isn’t on, and make them a sweet little lunch involving pickles when it is.
It’s 2022, let us finally put an end to the manipulation, to the so-called “information” that the policies proven to lower abortion rates are the ones we love to ignore. We like it at best. Let’s reveal that this “data” was found by hysterical women who can’t comprehend hard or simple math. The real facts, not feelings, are my beliefs. And since I decide when life begins based on the facts (my personal beliefs), I should control everyone else’s humanity. Pregnant girls and women don’t know what’s best for them, only I know, without a doubt, because I’ve lived their lives. I’ve walked a mile in every woman’s shoes on planet earth and I have learned a thing or two. What women really want and need is appreciation of their only mission in life, a celebration of their highest purpose. It’s what they are famous for, what they do best, while somehow still never doing quite enough. It humbles me to reinstate this national holiday, Forced Mother’s Day, for the outstanding female bodies of the United States of America that we proudly own.
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If COVID-19 forces planned parenthood to closed for two weeks, the virus will have saved more lives than it has taken. Repost from @maya4truth using @RepostRegramApp - 🥰🥰🥰 . . Follow me @Maya4Truth For more Truth 💛 • #trump #trump2020 #democrat #potus #prolife #defundplannedparenthood #abortionismurder #abortionkills https://www.instagram.com/p/B94t9vPlWll/?igshid=1osrq0215iru3
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The new Charleston mayor is trying to shut down protests at the abortion clinic. It’s on the west side of Charleston. The meeting is this Wednesday May 29, 2019 at 530 pm sharp in the AV Room on third floor of city hall. #life #abortionkills #chooselife #prolife #antiabortion (at Charleston, West Virginia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx_eXroH2no/?igshid=1o0zlqjwpriuj
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Abortions weren’t on the radar until people waited 3-9 months to abort a baby where dismembering body parts to extract the baby was necessary. There’s misinformation spreading over the inter-webs about life saving surgeries being illegal and causing harm to women because doctors are hesitating to take action. Life saving procedures are not illegal because Roe Vs Wade was overturned. For example, in a salpingostomy, where an ectopic pregnancy is removed, it is still legal and doctors who hesitate to act should be held liable for not doing their research or being prepared as a healthcare professional. #abortion #prolife # #abortionrights #feminism #feminist #plannedparenthood #prolifegeneration #humanrights #abortionismurder #womensrights #trump #mybodymychoice #abortionishealthcare #endabortion #antiabortion #chooselife #conservative #life #reproductiverights #prolifegen #proabortion #love #equality #prolifemovement #pregnancy #roevwade #republican #abortionkills #prolifefeminist https://www.instagram.com/p/CfU8ntUMZKO/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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