#AGH IT MAKES ME INSANE!!!!

[kaeyapilled]

i am still not over the fact arlecchino is referred to as "father" by the house of the hearth kids btw. the gender of it all

#i cant articulate this ugh #its just. the idea that she plays not the role of mother #where nurture and compassion would typically be expected of her #but the role of father. where a more stern and i guess distant sort of love might be typically expected. Yeah #i also dont hate the fact she doesnt seem to be abusive to the kids. i know i said i wanted her to be irredeemably evil but i really dig th #s #i actually really like the direction they seem to be taking? where its like. #shes still The Fatui. shes still using orphaned kids for military missions #but she doesnt go out of her way to harm the children. id say she sort of goes out of her way to *not* do so #AGH IT MAKES ME INSANE!!!! #the fontaine siblings' voicelines about her made me utterly insane. particularly freminet's #leaks skip if u dont wanna know but when he says she doesnt like crying so he avoids shedding tears in front of her at all costs (augh) #but still will say that things got better after the house director changed and she took charge #and that she literally told him that he has to value his own life instead of prioritizing self-sacrifice for loved ones' sakes. or somethin #which i take to be good advice for freminet in particular who has some concerning suicidal tendencies going on in there #anyway yeah arlecchino i am obsessed with you #my posts

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ive had this in my brain for like. two weeks. What If....

#what if he had a lil heart patch on his chest huh... what then... #smh howdy is Struggling #his internal dialogue is 100% 'be normal be normal be normal be fucking normal-' #he is Restraining Himself from reachin out and touching the patch #howdy - in a high pitched voice: wow thats uhhh thats real neat barn so neat incredible neat-o #scribble salad #laughingstock #barnaby x howdy #howdy x barnaby #AGH THEY MAKE ME SO #*slams head into a wall* ok im normal again sorry #HAHA PSYCH THEY MAKE ME FUCKING INSANE #literally one of my first thoughts when seeing barnaby #was 'what spots are under the vest? Ohhh Is There A Heart Over His Heart???' #surprised ive never scribbled it before now! idk! the power of laughingstock!

[sollucets]

just yok things for @ahxu-laowen

#not me #not me series #not me the series #yok not me #danyok #first kanaphan #gawin caskey #tuserhidden #arbitrary milestone prompts #rowan gifs #happy pride lmao 🌈 #delivering on 'insane gay yok moments' as promised #i tried a lot of new stuff making this and as such i'm horribly anxious about it and also proud at the same time #text is so so scary. agh. i like my lil handcuffs though :) #oh and hey sof. if you see this and think 'oh so they chose that option' #think again! and please hold #i just got too ambitious & don't have enough patience to wait until both are done lmao <3

[harbingersecho]

grif's surgery but just a little more... obvious?

I actually rly rly ADORE frankengrif but I don't have an in-show reason why he'd have extensive long-term allogeneic skingrafts on his face 😔

#rvb #red vs blue #dexter grif #grif #*24 #mine #art #cw wounds #Look I love biology stuff like this so I like researching what would be at least semi-plausible even if it's just for a dumb halo show that #makes 0 sense where CPR cures a headshot but i cant help it!!! and like the 'lazy' reason for it would be sarge is just crazy like that but #its not a good reason imo. and like the things he lists needing replacement are mostly internal and body parts which makes sense #considering how grif got injured by sheila like I could 100% see that rupturing organs and crushing his hand and there being burns etc #but like nothing points to grif needing any surgery above the neck and i dont think anyone mentions his face being different? i could #make up injuries for him but nothing in the show actually supports that he'd need grafts for anything but his body.. #I'm SOO ready to be convinced otherwise btw like I said I want an obvious frankengrif to be true so bad !! #AGH would it be too insane of me to make like a surgery/injury overview thing for grif just so i can convince myself abt this idea... #i can bend to some fun stuff tho im not a total joykill u know! thats why i give his body the mismatched donor skin look despite allogeneic #grafts not being permanent w/ current tech. like it really doesn't matter if it's realistic or whatever but also Yes It Does. #and like during/after chorus would grey offer to 'fix' it? i imagine the feds could mesh a skin so they could use grif's own skin.. #or like during rats nest when they got reassigned?

[grewlikefancyflowers]

local evil yiling laozu spotted tenderly holding hands with desecrating corpses !!!!

#look at him !! look !!! at !!!! him!!!!!!!! #mdzs #this image is making me insane #like. unhinged. wwx... wwx...... he's so. sooo... just sooooo #agh #the character of all time <3 #the artist said on twitter that the corpse he's holding hands with is one with bad legs and he's helping them 😭 #like. wei yiiiiiiiiiiiing 😭 #i love him #this is baoshankaro's art from the russian/english editions of mdzs btw

[boywifesammy]

ok but metatron meeting god in s11 is beautiful and heartbreaking because he is THE fallen angel.

lucifer is the king of hell and castiel is the winchester’s kingpin but metatron? metatron is nothing. he is the sisyphus of humanity. he is doomed to rot amongst the lowest of existence and relive his worst mistakes ad nauseam. his pride has been beaten to a bloody pulp and his divinity taken from him, but still he reveres humanity. he is full of so much hatred and vitriol and fury but its because he flew too close to the sun. he loved too strongly, and he was abandoned.

metatron is such an intriguing character in general because he is such a cunt and so disgustingly awful in his self-satisfaction, yet still so vulnerable. he is a human that walks among angels. he is a meaningless speck in the larger picture. he knows he is flawed, he is pathetic, he is worth so little, yet he still stands up to his creator. he is the scribe of god who was left behind. he has spent countless millennia hidden away in awe of god’s creation, enraptured with their wit and ingenuity yet too scared to ever partake. he’s all sorts of awful and fucked up but when push comes to shove he gets up in chuck’s face and tells him he’s a goddamn coward and half the man that he loves.

yet despite this metatron talks about god with such awe. such reverence. god was his maker and his destroyer, his world and its downfall. god was everything to metatron, and he never forgave him for leaving. it filled him with such dismay and rage to be his most trusted confidant, the one to speak directly with the lord himself, then to be left behind in silence. i mean, just look at the way metatron describes him:

you are light. beauty. creation. wrath, damnation and salvation. why did you abandon us? why did you abandon me? you picked me. your light shined upon me, but then you left me. i prayed, every day. i know i am a disappointment, but you are wrong about humanity. they never give up. but you do. they are better than you are.

i dunno man. it just makes me feel all sorts of ways about the broken, bitter and twisted shell of god’s voice telling him that he was his first love and his first light, but that he’s also a coward. that an angel of the lord knows he is flawed of his own mistakes but that what god did to the world— and to him, was blasphemy, no matter how bright He shines. tis a stark reminder that supernatural is the Family Is Hell show and that generational trauma has roots too deep to cut loose.

#oc #supernatural #spn meta #chuck shurley #metatron #chuck/metatron #11x20 don’t call me shurley #family is hell #religion in spn #im sorry this episode kind of made me insane #curtis did an absolutely phenomenal job in his acting i truly believe his reading of metatron is what makes him so compelling #also i know that most of spn watchers absolutely loathe metatron and i know why #but he has a special place in my heart for these exact reasons. he is so raw and real and deplorable in a human way #agh. i wish i was notmal about supanwatuwah #save me .

[reddd-robin]

I feel so crazy about that last episode I knew literally in my soul that the lich would appear eventually and be named the last scholar of golb. Throws up everywherr

#i canttt do this. i love betty and simon so much this new view on their dynamic makes me feel crazy #its undoubtedly like a strange power dynamic that simon is unaware of (heees kind of dumb but not a bad person by any means) that drives- #-betty to act how she does with him at first. like her perfect idolized interaction with a author she loves dearly #and for her to put aside her life like that for him in this manic sort of perfect scenario shes so enthralled by #gah i live them so much. simon being unaware of this and it damaging their relationship in the future unknowingly #she gives so much man. not to say simon doesn't i think hes just as great a lover as betty wanted but betty has this endlessness to her- #-devoting her time and her life and her dreams to this perfect world she gets to live in now #i do think she relaxes with it further into their relationship when she feels less like she has to be cool or prove herself to someone she- #-idolizes. and that they get better and closer and more equal (i say theyre never truly equal considering it revolves around simons whims)- #betty really learns to love for that period of their life. for however long it takes them to get to 'fianceès' its really their perfect life #and then everything happens. the crown. the portal. the war. the world ending. ice king. betty in ooo. and its all ruined again and she cant #acess simon so he is again returned to this state of a forbidden person she desperately chases and gives up her life for. she regresses to- #-when their dynamic was unknown woman and author she loves dearly appearing before her eyes #and that unnatainable aspect is what drives her insane. she cant do anything this time. he doesnt even know who *he* is. its hopeless #her trying to date ice king and freaking out about it because this perfect picture is gone and she doesnt /like/ him like this #agh. bety. siom #fionna and cake spoilers #fionna and cake #talking2myself

[sevencolorspasserby]

∆ Silver, you're very good at helping other silver's - how come you're so mean to yourself? Yourself. Not the other versions of you.

I’m not mean to myself. I’m hard on myself, but I’m not mean to myself. I have to be to be the strongest trainer. If I don’t have some sort of self discipline, I’m not reaching my goals.

I know that’s not what you mean.

I don’t know. I know, but I also don’t. Why I’m so abrasive, that’s just who I am, but I also care too much. Why do I care so much? I couldn’t tell you. I can’t piece together why I care for others sometimes. I couldn’t tell you why I get so worked up over it. Repeating things that are in the past in my head so I know that I shouldn’t do worse like that. But beating myself up? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard but people have told me that I don’t and shouldn’t have to? So clearly I do that and I’m stuck in my own head about my attitude all over again.

Changing isn’t easy at all. I hate that. And yet I have to grin and bear it. Shoulders apparently I can cry on but that doesn’t fix the problem with me.

You can guess the rating yourself.

#pkmn irl #real pokemon #pokemon irl #//OOC: great question why did they make him so Sad #//OOC: but agh yeahhh. he’s such a sweet kid after his redemption arc but he sets his emotional goals too high for himself and i (holds him #like a limp ferret. #//OOC: It just feels so… human to me in a way I can’t describe #//OOC: like no duh maverick it was written by a human but he’s a character very important to me like (and worlds silliest sentence) #//OOC: like shadow the hedgehog in learning to love and learning to love again. #//OOC: it reads splitting to me in a bpd way to me but I couldn’t accurately portray such. #//OOC: but also. just teenager emotions at the same time. #//OOC: ‘mistakes he can’t erase’ are you trying to kill thirteen year old me personally #//OOC: literally idk who reads my ooc rambling but I’m insane come join me.

[splootdoolies]

watched magical mirai 2013 and i just think she's neat :]

#vocaloid #hatsune miku #magical mirai #digital art #owaaag i want the future miku sO bad and i'm just watching vocaloid concerts to not think abt it :') #i'm also watching the magical mirai concerts bc i saw that in the hatsune mikutchis you take care of miku and she evolves into #her diff magical mirai outfits from each year! >< #agh i want the future miku tamagotchi so badly it makes me insane #my art ^^

[danothan]

knight terrors is fucking killing it lately

#drops tmrw apparently! this is all going too fast for me agh #i hope the artists aren’t getting crunched bc these panels are incredible #creature barry creature barry creature barry #his whole fear abt losing his humanity to the speedforce… how his first thought is hal on the topic of humanity… #how he loses himself to it anyway for the ppl who ground him TO his humanity #the fact that his mom showed up… it’s all abt his family it’s always abt his family. iris and wally need him so ofc he loses himself #and the fact that it’s hal he thinks abt to ground him. this is the second time hal has helped barry in this nightmare #love is the opposite of a choice??? that’s also some insane coding #both gay and neurodivergent #i am not going to be ready for their crossover in the GL run #how are they going to talk after this?? #and it’s just so barry to overrationalize everything seeing as that was his way of coping with grief and trauma growing up #he doesn’t know what else to do #and barry arguing on behalf of someone TO that someone is such a classic barry argument style. god this is so satisfying to see altogether #this series is sm better than i could’ve ever imagined #it’s like we’re being reward for all that analysis we do #like we’re not making this shit up after all! what a dream come true #the irony lol #knight terrors #the flash #barry allen #halbarry #dc #panels #danbles

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

more laughingstock pleaseee? 💙 💚

Yes Yes Yes i have this very small soft scribble to offer <3

#if caterpillar not meant to be held... why so narrow.... #that combined with the fun fact of 'barnaby bites out of affection' and Ough The Ultimate Fluff In My Heart Of Hearts #i just. their size difference makes me insane #i think about it for more than a second and Oh I Have Stopped Breathing <3 #grrrr RAH RAH AGH OUGH i cant i cant #scribble salad #rambles from the bog #laughingstock #barnaby x howdy #howdy x barnaby #them being so so affectionate with each other is so important to me #like in my head they are Always making some sort of contact #they are mutually like 'hi i love you! you're my personal arm rest / recliner / pillow / etc!' #i think if they had to remain separated but in the same space for more than a minute they'd both break down #no pda in the bodega Does Not Extend To hand/shoulder touches thankyew. or the closet #SORRY SORRY DERAILING MY OWN POST AS USUAL #i just have! many thoughts and emotions about them! consider this as Bonus please! #if barnaby held howdys waist... his fingers would probably touch... #ohhhhhhh minecraft damage noisessssssss im Deceased i am Dead i have Died Violently #i Exploded into blood and viscera and teeny tiny balloon animals and heart-shaped glitter <3

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

For a horrible long moment she teetered on the edge, fighting gravity. I leaped up, racing to grab her, pull her back, somehow, save her.

But the tiger wrapped a massive arm around me and held me down.

She fell. Disappeared from sight.

<No! No! No!> I cried.

<Hang on, Marco>, Jake said. <Hang on, man. Hang on, man.>

He held me that way, pinned down. The strength of his tiger morph made my own strength insignificant.

<Hang on, Marco. Hang on, man.>

Dimly, as though I was watching it on an out-of-focus TV, I was aware that battle raged on the opposite peak.

[...]

In the sky a battle raged between the Empire ship and the Blade ship with its fighters. Not my problem anymore.

Nothing was my problem. All I had to do was listen to the voice in my head saying, <Hold on, Marco. Hold on, man. Hold on.>

like if k. a. applegate didn't want me to be a crazy person about this maybe she should have written a different fucking book!!!!

#marco's like 'it was the worst moment of my life but luckily my best friend was there to wrestle me to the ground until i dissociated #HELLO?????????? #when people talk about 'how was animorphs for kids' they always talk about like the violence and moral dilemmas and shit #but for me it's these character things where i'm like... who let you do this.... why..... (thank you... but also oh my god....) #animorphs #'the strength of his tiger morph made my own strength insignificant' makes me insane sorry #literally like taking away someone's agency as a show of love because your love language as a duo is winning the war #this is also a reverse of the scene in book one where marco tells jake tom is a controller and jake tries to hit him and marco just like #sits on him until he calms down #which itself is like not physically but metaphorically echoed by the plot of book 31.... agh

[periphrasis]

sometimes i miss the ordered structure of living in may 2020 quarantine

attend online class from bed with giant iced coffee

get into discord fight

get into tiktok fight

go for 2 hour walk

call my then best friend now girlfriend until like 5 am

sleep with 6 specific plushies that had the same spot on my bed every night

repeat

#really i also miss feeling free of gendered expectations and perception #and also being 17 because in my brain I make new and better choices and actually value my time as a teenager #!!! #can’t sleep #cybie speaks #isaac posting #also I just associate periods of my life w rly strong sensory experiences #I can taste the exact way I’d make my iced coffee then perfectly 4 years later #and feel the ache in my legs after spending so long walking every day #and yeah #hugging my friend at our drive in graduation after she helped me jump start my moms car #idk I heard a tiktok song from that era and I’m #wishing things were different #I didn’t actually have to be so insane and awful I could have been so normal #at least I met kris #and like that whole friend group #but agh #i was so transparently manipulative and yet also so transparent manipulated #and like why??? what was the reason I could’ve just dicked around on tiktok #fuck #and now I’m about to be a grad student

[camelspit]

biting and clawing trying to write an essay rn

#i can write essays! but this teacher drives me insane #because ik no matter what i do its not going to work #not a single person this year has written an essay thats gotten in the 90s in her class #i have an 89 on one and thats it. thats the highest. #we do everything she fucking tells us to do and its not good enough #on my last essay she went over it. and marked all the stuff she didnt like. And i fucking fixed it. #and she was like 'lol no. 89' #and she has like a billion comma rules that she hasnt told us. so all of us lose points for commas every fucking time. #same shit with projects. #for our last project she told our team that we had her favorite project and she really really liked it #I even spent like $40 getting shit for it #And she gave us a fucking 82 #We went over each fucking requirement she wanted like 5 times and made sure we had everything #We did everything she FUCKING WANTED US TO #AND SHE DIDNT EXPLAIN THAT GRADE EVER?? #agh. i hate her so much. like girl go back to south dakota and leave us the fuck alone. #she doesnt even teach. she tells us boring ass stories about her life in south dakota and how she hates grammarly #like girl clearly you need grammarly because youve spelled shakespeare as shaeksepare twice now #she makes me hate english

[ronanlynchbf]

sisterhood of the...sisterhood of the hunting heart necklace 🥴😖🤐....

#ellipsis ellipsis ellipsis #yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #just realized this looks insane 2 anyone that has not seen yj....tbh if u haven't yet u should it's great 👍 fun times 👍 stress equivalent #to the stress u feel watching succession 👍 #anyway sisterhood of the traveling pants and yellowjackets enjoyers this one's for u 👆 #ignore also that this doesn't rlly make sense like. grammatically. or in the context of the title of the movie in relation to the yj ep... #i'm trying to joke abt the ep bc it left me genuinely so distraught........like javi wasn't even a major character or anything but he #survived out there for two months on his own only for this to be his end....and like he's so young..he's just a kid.. and i know they ALL #are just kids but javi is the youngest of them all and idk having younger siblings myself that just affects me double bc he's like barely #15 at most....and he was trying to help natalie...like he was just trying to help and they let him drown...like drowning as a way of dying #always gets me extra badly bc it's so slow and desperate and ughhhh all of it combined just...agh :( #ANYWAY. it was still a really good ep and probably my favorite so far for the second season the pacing of this one worked really well

[nintendont2502]

We always talk about how lil hal and davesprite are the same, or hell, I’ve seen analysis of how lil hal and dave are the same (both being victims of abuse from a Dirk, etc)

I’ve never seen anyone talk about how *similar* davesprite and Dirk are.

Davesprite is cold. Far colder than Dave is. During accelerate, we see him completely grinding in the game, disconnecting from his emotions. It’s also seen in his pesterlog with his rose- he’s very to the point, practical, and business focused even if it’s surrounded by some slight rambling.

Everyone knows Dirk ghosts mind as a prince of heart. During Unite and Synchronization, even though he’s doing some pretty emotional stuff (seeing People for the first time in his life, for example) he’s still incredibly cold, practical, and straight down to business.

They both struggle with pushing others away. Dirk does so by being overbearing, constantly hovering and trying to control the people around him. Davesprite takes a more direct approach, actively being mean and cruel to them.

They both constantly beat themselves up over not being good enough, and on the more lighthearted side, they’re both narration funky people, Dirk with the epilogues + homestuck 2 + I think pesterquest, and davesprite with namco high. They’re extremely aware of everything, except how their actions affect others. They’re definitely not selfish, though, only ignorant and a little bit naive in thinking that rationality is the only way to do things.

I have many thoughts. Have fun chewing on this <3

Asher I just. GOD.

I need to go out today! How am I supposed to be a functional member of society when I can't stop thinking about this

#and they both use orange text #and they both sacrifice themselves physically for their friends (davesprite prototyping himself + dirk decapitating himself) #did you know the wiki lists dirks collide death as heroic. and you know how davesprite was fine with the idea of not making it out of #the lohac strife? yeah #AND they both have an unhealthy perspective on their respective bros #and they both drive me fucking insane holy shit #i just. AGH #you know #god damnit this is gonna haunt me #in the best way possible #asher