S1 Keeley with a boyfriend she genuinely likes and has fun with (the first one in ages) and is maybe even starting to love, even though she hadn’t ever planned on falling in love with him, and this was only supposed to be PR, right (probably), and he isn’t even the right material for a longterm thing anyway (unless he could be?) only for him to go and break their carefully woven trust and demonstrate that he really is more the arsehole everyone else keeps telling her he is, rather than the person he's been to her (the one who, sure, has an ego through the roof, but who's also funny and kind and ambitious and brave) in one fell swoop. To have to wonder if she’s been blind this whole time to who he really is, and to be made to feel like a total idiot because of how he treated her, and then to decide firmly that no, he is good and he is trying, and then to make the choice to continue to be there for him and help him when he asks...
Late S1/S2 Keeley with a different boyfriend, and this one she's certain she loves, and he could most definitely be longterm material with only a little polishing, in fact she's pretty sure this is it, and she's going to see this man through to his shine, because he's worth it. Even as he spirals in retirement and even as they hurt each other in small ways that eventually start to add up into something bigger, she keeps believing things will get better and they both will do better, because the little life they've been building is worth it. Or it has been, up until he goes and breaks up with her and doesn't even give her the courtesy of presenting something passable as a reason, even as he's turned into a stranger before he's fully out the door. And then they're barely talking and she's heartbroken and she knows she probably went wrong somewhere in there, too, but he never told her how and she's too tired to pick apart all the whys, and she's mad at him but it's difficult to even hold space for that anger because she misses him....
S3 Keeley Jones who stumbles into another new thing, and it's not going to be anything serious (unless it could be), and she's still grieving the last one (maybe the last two?) (but this will be different, really) and Rebecca's telling her she isn't certain this is a good thing (but Rebecca never liked Jamie, either, and Jamie's turned out all right, hasn't he). Her new girlfriend flying her on extravagant dates and flooding her with extravagant gifts and making Keeley feel appreciated, like all the time she's put in is finally being recognized, makes her feel worthy of love (she only wants to be loved. she wants people to stop leaving.) Even as her new girlfriend announces their relationship to the entire office (and sure, it's a little sticky, being that her girlfriend is also her boss, and it makes Keeley feel a little uncomfortable, actually, having all those eyes on her, her employees, but she pushes it aside because Jack isn't afraid to acknowledge her, to make it known that she likes her, to stick with her, and that's something). It's something until it isn't, anyway. Until she only acknowledges Keeley where she wants to, to the people she wants to. Until she leaves, too, and takes Keeley's funding with her. And then Keeley is left to feel like the clueless one again, the idiot for not spotting it coming all along.
And she's making stupid decisions again (sleeping with exes just to get the chance to feel someone), and Jamie and Roy are weirdly close now, and isn't that just flipping great. somehow she missed that, too. And she's the one who made them both better!! they never would have turned out like this if she hadn't been pushing them towards it all along, and now they're there without her, which really doesn't seem fucking fair and definitely sucks. And she's maybe still a little (a lot) in love with both of them, but then they're demanding she choose between them like quarreling stupid schoolboys, and she doesn't even want to choose and she wants both of them at the same time she wants neither of them and then there's still the sticky business of rebuilding her firm with what Jack did still sitting so raw in her chest (and it was never that serious anyway, so why does it bother her so much? why does everything bother her so much?)
(im gnawing at my enclosure)
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Enneagram Types (Part 1)
The Enneagram system consists of nine core types, and each type can have a dominant wing, which is one of the adjacent types on the Enneagram diagram. The wing adds additional nuances and characteristics to the core type.
Here's a description of each Enneagram type, including their core motivations, fears, desires, and typical behaviors, along with information about their wings:
Type 1 - The Reformer:
Core Motivation: Ones strive to be good, moral, and virtuous. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and seek to improve themselves and the world around them.
Core Fear: Ones fear being corrupt, immoral, or flawed. They strive for perfection and can be highly critical of themselves and others.
Core Desire: Ones desire to have integrity and to be right. They long for a sense of balance and order.
Typical Behaviors: Ones are responsible, principled, and have a strong work ethic. They tend to be self-disciplined, organized, and strive for excellence.
Wing 9 (1w9): The Idealist
Nines tend to soften the rigidity of Ones and bring a more peaceful and easygoing approach to their perfectionistic tendencies. They may be more patient, accepting, and able to see multiple perspectives.
Wing 2 (1w2): The Advocate
Twos add a caring and nurturing element to Ones. They may be more focused on helping others and may strive for perfection in service to others. They may also struggle with boundaries and a need for external validation.
Type 2 - The Helper:
Core Motivation: Twos seek to be loved, wanted, and needed. They strive to be helpful and to win the affection and approval of others.
Core Fear: Twos fear being unwanted, unloved, or rejected. They may worry about being seen as selfish or needy.
Core Desire: Twos desire to be appreciated, valued, and loved. They long for connection and meaningful relationships.
Typical Behaviors: Twos are caring, generous, and empathetic. They often put others' needs before their own and seek to be supportive and helpful.
Wing 1 (2w1): The Servant
Ones bring a sense of responsibility and a focus on ethics and doing what is right to Twos. They may have higher standards and may feel a sense of duty in their helpfulness.
Wing 3 (2w3): The Host/Hostess
Threes add an achievement-oriented and goal-focused aspect to Twos. They may strive to be the best at helping and seek recognition and validation for their efforts.
Type 3 - The Achiever:
Core Motivation: Threes seek to be successful, admired, and accomplished. They strive for excellence and are highly driven to achieve their goals.
Core Fear: Threes fear failure, being seen as incompetent, or worthless. They may worry about not measuring up to others' expectations.
Core Desire: Threes desire recognition, approval, and validation for their achievements. They long to be seen as successful and competent.
Typical Behaviors: Threes are ambitious, hardworking, and image-conscious. They often excel in their chosen fields and are focused on presenting a positive image to others.
Wing 2 (3w2): The Charmer
Twos bring a nurturing and helpful dimension to Threes. They may be more focused on building relationships and connecting with others in their pursuit of success.
Wing 4 (3w4): The Professional
Fours add a unique and individualistic flair to Threes. They may strive to stand out and be recognized for their uniqueness, bringing creativity and depth to their achievements.
Type 4 - The Individualist:
Core Motivation: Fours seek to be authentic, special, and unique. They desire to express their individuality and connect with their innermost emotions.
Core Fear: Fours fear being ordinary, mundane, or without significance. They may feel a deep sense of longing and struggle with feelings of emptiness.
Core Desire: Fours desire to be seen and understood for their authentic selves. They long for deep, meaningful connections and to express their innermost emotions.
Typical Behaviors: Fours are creative, introspective, and often express themselves through art, music, or personal styles. They value authenticity and tend to have a rich emotional inner world.
Wing 3 (4w3): The Aristocrat
Threes add a focus on success and achievement to Fours. They may strive to stand out in their unique way and desire recognition for their individuality.
Wing 5 (4w5): The Bohemian
Fives bring an intellectual and introspective element to Fours. They may be more withdrawn and focused on gaining knowledge and understanding their complex emotions.
Type 5 - The Investigator:
Core Motivation: Fives seek knowledge, understanding, and independence. They strive to conserve their energy and protect their inner resources.
Core Fear: Fives fear being overwhelmed, invaded, or inadequate. They may worry about not having enough resources or knowledge to cope with the demands of the world.
Core Desire: Fives desire to be competent, self-sufficient, and capable. They long for space and privacy to explore their interests and pursue intellectual pursuits.
Typical Behaviors: Fives are observant, analytical, and tend to withdraw into their inner worlds. They often have a thirst for knowledge and may have a few close, trusted relationships.
Wing 4 (5w4): The Iconoclast
Fours add an emotional depth and a unique perspective to Fives. They may have a more artistic or expressive approach to their intellectual pursuits.
Wing 6 (5w6): The Problem Solver
Sixes bring a practical and skeptical dimension to Fives. They may seek security and may be more cautious and attentive to potential risks.
Remember that individuals may vary within each type, and the wings offer additional dimensions to their core motivations. The Enneagram system is a tool for self-awareness and personal growth, helping individuals understand their patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
Stay tune for Enneagram Types (Part 2)
xoxo
J.
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