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peppermint-rat · 7 months

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To everyone who was raised mormon - anger is not a sin. Anger is your friend.

Obviously, it has to be managed, like any emotion. Being reactive and having a temper is not healthy. But being angry is. You might have heard that a good and kind person is never angry.

Bullshit.

Anger is an internal alarm that something might be wrong. That you, someone you know, or a group as a whole are being mistreated, or at the very least, you are not satisfied with the way things are. But even being dissatisfied is called blasphemous. Nephi's brothers sure liked to "murmur", didn't they?

Why would the church call anger a sin? Anger that does not inflict physical harm on other people? Is it a sin to make other people uncomfortable with your emotions?

Yes, actually. Turn off your ability to identify mistreatment, turn off your ability to be dissatisfied with your life, and make sure everyone around you turns those off, too.

That way, the church can take 10% of all of your money and tell you to fall to the ground and kiss their feet in gratitude for it. They can force you to cut your hair before being allowed into a fun youth event. They can string you up like a fucking marionette and you'll just go limp and follow their directions, because resisting would make you a bad person.

Of course the people that tied you up would tell you that struggling is a sin.

And, even outside of the church, but ESPECIALLY in the church, people will use this idea to make themselves into the better person and place all the blame on you for THEIR actions. They will feel threatened by you being upset about things that they worked so hard to justify in their minds - but the thing is, you're angry, which means you're wrong and scary and the familiar mistreatment feels more comfortable than ever. Sometimes, people will even take the opportunity, as the clear Bigger Person in the situation, to treat you even worse, but use such calm and pacifist language that, naturally, you're the cruel and irrational one.

I made a Facebook status once telling everyone who agreed with the church's new homophobic "doctrine" to unfriend me. A cousin I never spoke to DMed me telling me that she felt like I hated her for believing in the church, and she didn't hate me for my "choice" of lifestyle, and - get this - she loved me and would therefore not unfriend me herself, I would have to do it. So she would be noble, and I would be the angry little apostate dyke. I reconnected with an old mormon friend and told her that I was hurt by her believing homophobic things, and she immediately told me that I always blew things out of proportion and got angry for no reason. My brother has been abusive to me all my life, but whenever I got upset, I was rocking the boat, or I was even worse than him for being angry at all. A friend who wasn't even mormon betrayed the fuck out of me and told me "I understand if /you/ don't want to be friends anymore," like they hadn't decided that on their own with their extremely hurtful actions. But hey, using calm and pacifist words while someone else is upset means you will always be the one being "so good about it"!

Anger is not a sin, anger is not an excuse to treat you badly. Anger is what will save you from thinking that mistreatment is justified. Practice patience with your loved ones, but be assertive. Practice forgiveness with the people you WANT to forgive. But if you wanna die mad, that's your fucking right.

Fuck this "drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" shit. Being angry and staying angry led me away from a cult, away from abuse, away from manipulative people, and gave me the courage to fight to protect my little niece in a dangerous situation.

Anger is your friend.

#exmo #exmormon #ive been trying to write succinct poetry about this but I just can't quite do it

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askjennie · 6 years

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(1) I need some tips to deal with anxiety and paranoia. Recently I contacted an old ex and apologized for the way we broke up, they wrote me back and told me that they didn't blame me for anything and actually asked for forgiveness themselves and to be honest it made me feel great I suggested we be friends on facebook again and they added me and sent me their phone number, snapchat and instagram and told me not to be a stranger. Realistically I realize this probably means we're cool and both

Continued: ( 2) and both ready to move on but it’s been two days and now I’m starting to also kind of worry that I’m being tricked and I don’t know what to do but it keeps giving me a wave of panic to the point that my fitbit is reading a really high blood pressure and my stomach is in knots. I hate that I feel like this because there can’t really be any reason to feel like this can I? No one would really put that much effort into a trick and I hate that I feel suspicious. But I do and its stressful.

Jennie: I’m struggling to understand what kind of trick could be implemented just by giving someone your phone number, but is it possible that this ex had a habit of tricking you or lying to you or making you feel like you couldn’t trust them? You don’t have to stay in contact with them if you don’t want to. If they make you feel suspicious, it’s okay to never text them, and to unfriend them again on snapchat and instagram. There is no need to keep people in your life who only give you anxiety!

If you generally have issues with thinking that people are tricking you even though they haven’t given you any reason to think that, you might benefit from seeking some professional help for your anxiety. Talk to your doctor, or contact mental health services, charities or private therapists in your area. You might also find some of these self-help resources useful. You don’t have to constantly on edge, and there are ways to change that - it’s okay to ask for help.

#advice #ask me anything #trick #paranoia #anxiety #mental health #relationships #advice blog #askjennie

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iamacolor · 7 years

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I understand why people like Sana (she's awesome) but forgive if I'm wrong didn't yoursef get with noora and when that didn't pan out well he went to Sana? Sana deserved better but I could be wrong about yoursef

Hi Anon!

Sana is indeed awesome.

Ok so the whole Sana, Noora,Yousef thing is a bit messy (as the rest of the season lol) but basically here is my take on it:

To me it is pretty clear, and it has been since the first episode, that Yousef has been having feelings for Sana for a while. Very honest feelings. That only grew stronger and stronger. If the looks he gave her in the first episode don’t convince you, reread their first texts and rewatch the Inshallah clip and you’ll see how gone for her he is (he pretends to go drink juice to go talk to his best friend’s sister and ends up showing her how to peel carrots, how iconic ). Now after all that, the Det beste fra Islam clip happened. It’s important to note that when that clip happened Sana had already unfriended Yousef on Facebook after learning that he wasn’t muslim. But he didn’t know. He knew she had been ignoring him as she didn’t reply to his messages but when someone unfriends you it doesn’t show up so he didn’t notice. The det beste fra islam clip happened and I bet in his head he was already planning the proposal if not the wedding itself.

From what we’ve learned through his texts with noora, he realized the day after this clip that she had unfriended him. #heartbroken. He must have felt so lost and heartbroken and just didn’t understand. So,fast forward to the karaoke bar. His best friend invited him to a party where he knows he will see the girl he’s madly in love with, the girl who rejected him with no explanation (the girl he wasn’t dating might I add, like nothing had happened technically between them). But his best friend invites him so he has to go. And he sees Sana and she looks gorgeous but he also sees Even and he probably understands that Sana is the one who set this up. He told her Even was the reason he left Islam (this storyline is a mess but bear with me it’s called messy writing) and then she blocks him on facebook and invites him and his friends to an event with Even. Yousef must have been so confused.

Then the fight happened (because apparently Isak was really jealous) and Yousef went to get Sana (which was a smart idea but it would have been smarter to go with her outside, I’ll never forgive Julie for writing him like that but she wanted the kiss to happen so he stayed inside). And then he stayed with noora. We don’t really know how the kiss between them went on, did they talk a little before? did they just kiss for 20 minutes straight? I’d say Noora started it but no one knows. But one thing is sure: yousef regretted it as soon as it happened. He even said to Noora herself that it didn’t mean anything and that he didn’t want sana to find out. He knew it was bad. Even noora knew.

To quote Cengiz Al (who plays Yousef), Yousef “Had lost all hopes” when he kissed Noora. He thought he had no future with Sana and was upset about his friends fighting. He didn’t “get” with Noora. They had one kiss and then only talked about Sana. Literally their whole convos is him talking about how much he loves Sana and how they’re soulmates and how he feels bad because he thinks she hates him. He didn’t go back to Sana when things went wrong with Noora. He never was with Noora. And he only kissed Noora because things had gone wrong with Sana (and he had to cancel all his proposal and wedding plans).

Anyway the thing is, he made a mistake yes. He regretted it. He said it. He made assumptions (with good reasons too as the signals from Sana weren’t clear either). But Skam is about seeing behind people’s mistakes. Isak betrayed Eva’s trust in season 1 and he still desereves his beautiful love story with Even. Even cheated on Sonja and went back to her after telling Isak he was going to break up but he still deserves his love story with Isak doesn’t he?

Yes Sana deserves the world and if I could I would give it to her. But she doesn’t want the world she just wants her girl squad and Yousef. She knows about doing things you end up regretting when you’re too upset about something (this is the girl who went behind isak’s back to set up an instagram account and behind noora’s back to email william). They both made mistakes. But in the end, I truly think they’re a perfect match! He is so considerate with her, so caring. He only has eyes for her and you can see how much it pains him when she ignores him and how happy he is when she talks to him. He has been problematic at some point but so have been many other characters in the past (including Sana). What’s also important to remember is that none of the things he did were doen to hurt Sana on purpose.

I’m sorry this got soooooooooo long but I had a lot of things to say about this!! . Let’s be honest, it is a messy situation with plot holes and ooc behavior but the writing hasn’t been really consistent this season so that explains a lot as well. Anyway I hope this helps you understand why so many of us ship Yousef and Sana together.

Have a good day/night/evening/morning Anon!

#sana bakkoush #yousef acar #skam #yousana #anonymous #i've got mail #carrot trash squad

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