#...and you get used to the constant seasickness and sealegs and wondering *how* you'll make it out - If you will...

[uncanny-tranny]

So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.

Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.

#mental health #self harm tw #self harm mention tw #sh tw #mental health recovery #mental health support #i love you i love you i love you #i admire you and empathize with you and want to be your fellow man. i want to share this wold *with* you #and that includes sharing a world that you aren't sure you deserve or are ready for #the world can wait. humans have been here for hundreds of thousands of years. it can wait #when i think about all this what makes me feel better is remembering how many billions of people have lived #and it makes me feel better to know that there has never been a problem too big to have - to uniquely awful #i have my own conflicted feelings about this because objectively i am healing #but it feels like i have boarded on land after surviving the worst trip to sea ever... #...a trip that was plagued with my ship being flung through hurricanes and lightnight and i'm only manning a sailboat... #...and i have found land and that land is good... #...but my legs feel like they will give out underneath me because this is solid land that i have never stood on... #...and you get used to the constant seasickness and sealegs and wondering *how* you'll make it out - If you will... #...the peace feels like a ruse at times because all you've known was chaos. but it's a good ruse and a comfortable one #and so you learn i guess to sink into the comfort like a spft feather pillow