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comradekatara · 5 years

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What’s you 70 years ideal for azula, mai and ty lee?

ANON. I HAVE LEFT THIS TO SIT FOR 20 DAYS. I AM SORRY.

here is what i have to say about azula, mai and ty lee

ty lee (copied from here, where i wrote it up separately):

over the years of peace and relative prosperity, ty lee gets to be a lot of different people and live a lot of different lives. she has a ton of fun with the kyoshi warriors, and the friends (with benefits) she meets there stay in her life forever. the warriors have such a trusting relationship with one another. they help her feel safe after she spent a long time feeling unsafe, and she’ll always be grateful.

when that starts to get old, ty lee feels confident and ready to go back to the circus. she wants to do it before she gets too old, as she assumes she’ll start to lose some of her skills soon. but it turns out that she’s as good as she ever was; better even, because 14 is nobody’s physical peak. sometimes ty lee forgets that she’s very young, and she’s always been young.

on her travels with the circus, sometimes she’ll meet someone who draws her interest, so she’ll stay in town for a while. her bosses rely on her so much that they would never tell her no, and as long as she catches up with them when she’s done with her detour, she has free rein to come and go as she pleases. she never takes for granted how it feels to have that kind of freedom, and she knows she’ll never again put herself in a position where her freedom is restricted.

her travels are fun, but the lone wolf thing is starting to get old, so when she’s nearing 30 she hands in her notice and sets out to find mai. they haven’t seen each other in person in years, though they’ve written letters periodically, whenever they could. the reunion is emotional. they promptly uhaul and for a long time they’re just inseparable. ty lee knows their bond is more than just the relief of being seen by someone who witnessed all the same stuff she lived through all those years ago. it’s just that it’s mai. ty lee will always love her the most.

and suddenly ty lee is back in the old fire nation rhythms, and even though it feels weird and sometimes a little anxiety-provoking to be back, she has a handle on her nerves because she’s wiser and more capable now. so when she sees azula on a visit to the fire palace, ty lee is equipped to handle her. instead of feeling triggered and panicky, she feels empathetic. like all the rest of them, azula is still healing from the war, and she’s not as far along as ty lee is. but she’s making her way there. her aura is unrecognizable–an unmistakable sign of the work she’s already done. ty lee tells azula that the past is forgiven and she can see in azula’s aura how much that means to her. what’s even more surprising to ty lee is that it wasn’t a lie. she hasn’t lied in a while, actually, and it’s been a long time since she consciously thought of herself as someone who lied for her own benefit. she hasn’t needed to.

the rest of her life is spent alternating between domesticity and wild adventures, usually with mai at her side. she follows her heart from place to place, and when her heart isn’t telling her to go somewhere new, she follows mai’s. when ty lee gets very old, she lives a life a lot like king bumi’s - always seeking thrills and never holding herself back. true to her word, she never takes her freedom for granted, and she maximizes every moment.

mai:

after the war, mai gets the fuck out of the fire nation. she basically french exits the whole country. she’s a little bitter that ty lee up and joined the kyoshi warriors without a word to her, and so she decides she’ll show ty lee the same kindness and leave with no warning.

the time alone is really good for her. it’s been a hard half a year, surrounded by azula and ty lee and zuko all the time. all that time she thought traveling was exhausting. but traveling the world when there’s no one watching her and telling her what to do, and no immediate danger from people who want her dead… it’s actually not tiring at all. it’s freeing.

she charters a boat and teaches herself how to use it. she audits a class at a university in the earth kingdom and remembers how much she loves studying. she meets toph, quite randomly, and spends a few nights just hiking with her and discovering all the things they have in common. she visits a tiny town with a world-famous orchestra and whimsically learns to play an instrument. she visits one of the air temples and just breaks down under the weight of the silence. the independence is refreshing and allows her to think long and hard about what she deserves from the people around her, and from herself.

so she returns to the fire nation with plans to live well. she’s going get a degree, she’s going to find something she loves to do, and she’s going to get some closure on the relationships she left hanging. she is owed some serious apologies and she intends to hear them out.

she’s almost surprised when both azula and zuko give her the apologies she deserves. she doesn’t get apologies from her parents, but she wasn’t expecting that. she won’t be communicating with them more than she has to anymore–though she is newly resolved to give tom-tom some better role models than the two he was born with. and then she enrolls in school and starts learning again and she just feels better. more in control of herself and more purposeful. that’s the mindset she’s in when she sees ty lee again.

mai realized in her travels that she owes it to herself to be not just forgiving, but also flexible. and she quickly remembers how much being with ty lee makes her happy. mai gets her degree, and then some more degrees, and after that, they chase happiness together. they go to see a lot of different places and make a lot of friends. (it’s almost weird to see toph again when she’s in such a different mindset than she was in her earlier travels, but the rapport they had is still just as sparkling.) they become happily domestic wherever they go, always planting a garden and cooking favorite recipes and collecting really weird art to hang on the walls. mai always has a project to work on and she follows her passion every day. she feels fulfilled.

azula:

ooh boy. how much time do you have?

azula recovers slowly, with the help of a village.

after the agni kai, she’s kept locked up in accommodations that she knows zuko hand-selected to give her as much comfort as possible. but she doesn’t feel comfortable. she feels gutted. she believes with all her heart that it would have been more honorable to die.

for a long time, she wallows. it doesn’t help that she has barely anyone to talk to. zuko visits infrequently but he never knows what to say, and azula refuses to start talking about the weather or the clothes he’s wearing just to make him feel at ease. but then - she’ll never know why - he starts sending other people to keep her occupied. a series of teachers to teach her languages, advanced calculus, parts of world history she never bothered to learn. a pai sho master to play with her. a pottery maker to give her a lesson (okay, that one’s a bust, because azula finds it simply too funny to even bother to feign interest). the visitors are always heavily guarded, but azula doesn’t have the strength to fight them anyway. she’s so starved for companionship that she applies everything she has to learning as much as she can from them.

eventually, someone else starts showing up too: zuko’s tiny blind friend whose name azula never bothered to remember. she has to be told once more before she learns it. toph.

azula loves it when toph visits because toph takes her outside. sometimes toph will talk on and on about some stupid adventure she went on with her friends, and sometimes she’ll just be quiet and let azula experience the crisp morning air. usually whatever toph intuitively decides to say or not say is the right fit for azula’s mood. and while at first azula is simply too humiliated and angry to engage, over time, she starts speaking back. having a conversation. she was desperately lonely before toph showed up. toph is witty and engaging and tells a great story. she also won’t let azula have the last word, ever. it’s refreshing and exhilirating to have a conversation with someone like that.

when toph tells a story about her lonely and repressive childhood, azula is surprised to find herself compelled to commiserate. of course much later she’ll realize that that’s exactly what toph wanted her to do. but that’s how it starts, and before long, azula spends a fair amount of toph’s visits talking about herself and how she feels, or felt at different times in her life. toph is gentle and understanding, but doesn’t coddle her. now that the floodgates are open and azula can talk freely, she finds that a lot of her anger about the past is fading. toph can sense it too.

that’s how azula is gradually restored to full privileges in the fire nation. she has a lot of apologies to make, and with great difficulty, she makes them. she expresses her great regret to mai and ty lee and suki gives them all the space they need. over a very long time, she comes to build relationships with katara and aang too, and she learns that she admires both of them greatly. she discovers that she absolutely adores sokka, and over time, she and toph and sokka become a little friend group. (it turns out that friend groups where everyone has equal say are, in their own way, quite pleasant.) she works hard on restoring her relationship with zuko, and after a great deal of trial and error, she is even able to offer him counsel that he sincerely appreciates.

forming these bonds and maintaining them is hard work. learning to value herself for matters outside of her prodigious bending is harder. but azula finds other talents and dedicates herself to developing them. she reads constantly. she develops a habit of taking in feral cats and nursing them to health, much as this horrifies her servants. she learns how to build things with her hands. she plays pai sho with her friends. she engages in debates.

when zuko is sure she can be trusted, he takes her to learn proper firebending from the dragons. it rocks her worldview to learn that fire can be something other than oppressive discipline and hate. it can be beautiful. after all the change she’s gone through, she values herself more than she values the strength of the flames she can produce, and she reserves firebending for the moments when she knows she can fully appreciate its beauty.

she sees the world and comes to develop great respect and love for the cultures that she always thought the fire nation was meant to punish and reform. she helps zuko and aang develop a curriculum for the fire nation schools that will honor that. she also appoints herself in charge of raising funds from the nobility to support the decolonization efforts, and her commanding presence and natural way with words help her to extract unprecedented amounts of money from the notoriously stingy nobility.

by the end of her life, azula has a lot to be proud of, and a lot of people who love her. she regrets the things she did when she was young, but she also has a great deal of respect for the person she’s grown into, and she appreciates that she got to become this person. she never takes a thing for granted. every time she feels relaxed or at ease, which is a surprising portion of her life these days, she really appreciates it.

#the things i needed to do today were: write this and make a kugel #KUGEL TIME BITCH!#asks #anon #ty lee #mai #azula #maixtylee #postwargaang

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badrpstories · 6 years

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Words alone seem insufficient to express the importance of good communication between muns. Nevertheless, I shall make an attempt in sharing this little story. Disclaimer: there’s nothing lurid or inflammatory here. No fictional sex and violence, no controversy bait. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing triggering…just a mention of mental illness and I think there’s a metaphor that involves drowning but, that’s about it. It’s not even remarkably bad. Just sad. So, if you’re hoping for something scandalous, you’ve been forewarned.

Several months ago, I lost an rp partner that I considered a friend. It’s been long enough for me to be capable of writing this but not long enough for me to be truly over it. I’m writing this because the reason I am still not over it is that I don’t know how much of that loss was my own fault and my behavior in response to that loss has probably ensured that I will never know.

Prior to starting threads we spent a couple months chatting, as often as every other day to once or twice a week. Skimming over the chat log to confirm that frequency reopens and rubs salt into old wounds.

Then, after we started threading, just a few replies in, they went MIA. No heads up, no indication of any problems, they just vanished. This wasn’t their first disappearing act. Roughly a year before this they had done something similar, albeit under different circumstances.

With the exception of this ghostly behavior, they were everything I could hope for in an RP partner and, from all I knew of them, I very much liked them as a person and would have liked to count them as a friend. Their other partners seemed like a good group of people that I’d be happy to interact with as well. Since I have very limited free time for RP I’m understanding of others in that situation; I’m also very particular (probably a little peculiar), and perhaps more selective than I’ve a right to be, or have admitted to being in the past. I’m a choosy beggar. So, when they resurfaced and reached out to see if I wanted to write with them again I was elated. I was also very concerned that I might have caused or contributed to their previous disappearance. They assured me I had not, that I’d done nothing wrong. They explained what had happened before and insisted that they’d be sticking around this time.

Had they seemed less available, or less enthused, during those two months before we started writing, had they not been initiating chats and responding so quickly, it would have been different. There should have been a better discussion about future activity expectations. At one point they remarked ‘even if we can only do one reply a week each’ (something to that effect) and that sounded perfectly reasonable to me.

The last time I heard from them all seemed well. I messaged them a little over a week later, after I’d posted replies, just to inform them of some technical issues I was having. When another week had gone by without hearing from them I was starting to get worried. I expressed my concerns and said I would appreciate hearing from them, even if they were unable to reply on threads, just to know everything was okay. Early on, when we were chatting, they had offered their cell number. I didn’t take them up on it. I’m careful with my personal info, it felt too soon and, while I certainly don’t like to be left hanging, I didn’t want them to feel like I needed to keep tabs on them. I was fine with tumblr being our only point of contact.

Six weeks went by with no sign of them. Logically, I knew it was possible that something had come up, that real life might have overwhelmed them. It wasn’t as if they were actively RPing with others but, then again, they could have been on other blogs I didn’t know of, so I couldn’t really take anything from that. I also know that for most in rp, six weeks of zero contact would be considered a sure sign that the other mun is not interested. I know there are those who will simply ghost others they no longer wish to interact with, some openly admit to it.

I was starting to dissect our OOC exchanges and second guessing everything, looking for anything I might have done wrong, anything that might have been misinterpreted and taken wrong. I would never claim to be perfect in any way but I couldn’t come up with anything that, when weighed against all of our OOC talks, would seem to warrant them having a serious issue with me. Before their disappearance they’d had me feeling confident that they were comfortable discussing any problems, but after all that time without so much as a quick im or psa post it seemed increasingly unlikely. I was now too nervous and shy to even consider reaching out to their other partners.

Mental illness should never be used as an excuse. I’m not including this next part to garner sympathy, only to state facts. I did go through a period of wanting sympathy and commiseration but that’s not the purpose here, this is for explanation. By the end of that sixth week my anxiety had taken over and I was drowning in a whirlpool of mixed emotions, swinging between worry over their well-being, remorseful self-flagellation and bitter, resentful resignation. Yes, I know: It is only a hobby. It is ONLY fucking RP. But I could not simply shut the feelings off and repeating that mantra to myself, reminding myself how irrational and insignificant this all was only added new layers of misery. I tried to distract myself. I wanted to do the intelligent thing and move on, find some sort of victory in happiness with other partners but, I couldn’t think about RP at all without circling back around to this: Where had I gone so wrong?

What if I unwittingly make the same mistakes again?

What if I approach another potential partner or group and accidentally come across them on a different account? Will they think I’m stalking them? Should I just stay away from anything remotely similar?

What if I totally misjudged them from the very beginning?

At the risk of sounding really melodramatic, the worst of it was the feeling of being unable to accurately gauge another’s attitude and intentions, the fear that there is something fundamentally flawed in my perception of other people. But that is something I’ve struggled with a long time, in real life, due to experiences.

Desperate for answers, I went trawling the cesspool of salt and confessions, sifting through and inspecting every possible explanation, from the petty and absurd to the grave and severe. There I came upon things that seemed, to my stress addled brain, sure signs confirming my fears and suspicions. Maybe I was right. I’ll never know, and that just might be due to what I chose to do next.

There are more details. There always are, right? There’s more to the story that might give a little more insight but, those might be too revealing, for both of us involved. This is no call-out and those details aren’t critical to the purpose. However, given those details, my state of mind, the history, the timing, all of our previous discussions and traded reassurances, their actions felt almost punitive and mocking, as if they had done this to ensure I’d never even want to interact with them again. So, I sent a curt im and soft-blocked them.

I can still remember the feeling of my fingertip hovering over that block button as it wavered, through tear-blurred vision, in time with my pulse. The guilt was instantaneous. But I didn’t stop there, oh no! I did the same with a mutual-mutual because they were partners first so of course that person wouldn’t want anything to do with me either. I had intended that to be the end of it. I didn’t even stick to my own resolution. I later sent a lengthy rant expressing my hurt and frustration, chiding them for not having the courage to give me a simple, honest, clear rejection. Over the following months I became increasingly convinced of mistakes I had made early on. In random moments of weakness I would message again, attempting to apologize for these errors, although I was still hurt by the fact that they’d never mentioned any problem (assuming there was one to begin with). Eventually, I deleted our threads, changed my url, essentially shut down. Ultimately, I came to terms with the fact that my own behavior had turned toxic. I should have just quietly walked away after a month of no contact. Instead, all I’d done had achieved nothing but piling wrong upon wrong. I messaged again, trying to apologize for that.

I’ve never seen a trace of them since the last time we spoke so many months ago. I have been told they are alive and more or less well, I’m not sure whether or not I should believe everything I’ve heard. Now and then, I worry that there was some wild misunderstanding, or maybe some bizarre glitch. More worrying is the possibility that their real life circumstances actually have been difficult enough to keep them from ever logging on at all for all this time. But I don’t really think any of that is plausible, more like some sort of twisted wishful thinking that only makes me feel worse. It wouldn’t make me feel worse if I hadn’t reacted like I did and now it’s the only reason I haven’t completely gotten over this, because I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone, I never intended to hurt them. As hurtful as what I did do may have been, I was only able to because I believed they did not care at all. But I know that does not make it right, or healthy, regardless of whatever the facts about their disappearance may be.

So, if you ever find yourself in a similar place, as difficult as it may be, try to avoid making the same mistakes I did. Do not block. Don’t even soft-block. Just drop it and try to forget. Vent anonymously if you must. Try not to say anything you might ever, ever regret. Don’t screw yourself out of the chance to walk away with a clean conscience.

#mental illness tw #submission

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iwannabeabadrobot · 7 years

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Ooooooh, Burn

It was so peaceful. There were no hums or beeps or alarms. Nobody was hailing her. All she could hear was the gentle rustling of a breeze through the tall trees she'd made the night before. The only thing missing was birds. That's how it would be on Earth. Melodious chirping. But this wasn't Earth. This place didn't even have a name. It had a classification: M.

Uhura laughed to herself at the thought that when she was done with it they'd have to add a new, 'U' classification, just so they could define what she'd done to it. She stared up through the branches of the tree to the lavender sky. She could decipher the sound of each leaf's brush against the others.

Next to her, Leonard was dead to the world, his heavy arm tucked protectively around her. His thumb pressed between two of her ribs. She leaned over to the crook between his jaw and neck and ran the tip of her nose along it, inhaling his smell. It was sweet and clean. He smelled like a doctor.

They were both wet. Soaked with sweat. It was hot here. Hotter than Earth. She wondered if they were in winter or summer. It didn't matter. She could build a mountain around them if it got too hot.

It was so easy. Everything here was so easy.

Wasn't that what she'd wanted? She thought so- but that was before. Before she had been elevated. Her eyes were open now. She could really see. She could see what was happening, how it was happening, and how it was changing every little moment. Thank goodness she didn't have to deal with cognitive disinhibition, or she'd go insane. Kirk wouldn't have been able to deal with it. He wouldn't be able to shut down all the tiny sounds.

The sounds of cells replicating, of every instance of contact between one organism and another, every shade of color in the spectrum, every frequency on the comms at once, that was all available to her. But thankfully, she could sort out what she needed and ignore the rest.

Apparently Leonard could do the same thing. She sat up, carefully, intertwining her fingers with his and steadily moving his arm to his other side. They were more than wet. They were muddy from the soil. They were naked and dirt-smeared and comfortable and happy and in total control. Uhura could process any cognitive information right now, but the emotion this was creating- she couldn't process that.

She had to get out- get clean.

Uhura looked at the spring and the tiny pond it had formed. She needed more water than that. So she walked, naked, through the brush and down the mountain some ways, until she found a spot that looked good. She closed her eyes.

Putting her new brain to good use, she isolated each molecule, each atom, each element she needed, to put together what she wanted there. She could feel the reactions- tearing apart and bonding. It was a little scary. At any moment she could be interrupted and could destroy everything on the planet- not just the little piece of paradise- that she was constructing on a whim.

When she opened her eyes, she was in turquoise water, submerged entirely. She leapt from the floor of the new lake and rose to the surface. She gasped when she felt the heat of the air above the water, and pushed her hair back, opening her eyes.

A waterfall gushed over the mountain, leading from that tiny spring she'd left at the camp. She passed under it a few times, scrubbing at her skin with her fingernails. It had been so long since she'd swum in real water. She dived, exploring the sights underwater, watching the breath leave her body in cascades of bubbles.

After a while she got out, but didn't bother to put her uniform back on. No reason to. Who'd she have to hide from? She knew this whole planet, and the one man on it knew her.

It was so easy. That was the second time she'd thought that just today. She was bored already.

Her thoughts were drawn again to the Valiant transmitter. Leonard was right. The Enterprise was nothing to what she was capable of creating here. But. The Enterprise could take her wherever she wanted to go. It could give her power over more than one planet.

She could go back to Earth. She could fix Earth. As utopian as many members of the Federation thought it was, Earth still had its problems. She could eliminate them. She could make it perfect. A frightening, exciting thought spread through her, from her stomach to the tips of her fingers: she could make the galaxy perfect…

There next to the lake, gleaming in the sunshine, was the transmitter. It had obeyed her thoughts.

She removed the side of it and a bundle of wires spilled out. She took her time figuring out which wire was responsible for each signal. It was easy already for her, since communications were her forte. She started rewiring. The plan was to create a false signal from Starfleet, telling the Enterprise to come back and pick them up, that they needed immediate medical attention- that their powers had been a short-lived fluke.

As soon as the Enterprise was in close enough range to detect that the signal had actually been sent by the transmitter, she would be able to harness transporters and get back aboard. Once she was aboard, that would be it. She'd let them get her before, but this time they didn't have Leonard and his hyposprays to help them. She had him.

She heard a splash. She looked over the waterfall. Speaking of him. There were no animals on the planet, so it couldn't be anyone else. Leonard surfaced, silver eyes exhilarated. That broad smile. She hardly ever got to see him smile. It was a rare occurrence.

Uhura felt guilty. He could be happy here. He could live a satisfied life with her, with a planet and creation of their own. Abandonment for her was an opportunity for him.

She cared for him. He was what she would have wanted if she'd never been enlightened by that new energy in her brain. He was stable, human, his outlook had been compatible with hers. And they could commiserate like nothing else. The best way to bond was over a mutual enemy… or friend.

She jumped in the water with him. He encircled her with his arms. Their skin was slick. His lips were warm against hers. He laughed. "This is just about the best shore leave I've ever had. I might as well be dreaming."

She smiled at him and pressed her forehead against his. "Then keep dreaming."

He pulled back. "What is it?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. I feel the same way." She kissed him again but he wasn't with her.

"No you don't-" he said. He was still half-smiling, still running his hands over her body, enjoying, exploring. He was so human. But his eyes were beyond her. They were on the transmitter. Shit.

"What's goin' on there?"

"Just seeing how it works, you know. Being surrounded by nature- it's- abrupt."

Leonard gulped down a mouthful of the fresh water. She could nearly see the gears turning in his head as his brow furrowed at her. He took some more and fountained it back into the lake. He shook his head.

"You know how it works. You made this, just this morning. That transmitter is Lincoln Logs to you right now."

Uhura frowned at him. She should have known that she would have to fight him on this.

"What are you doing with it?"

Uhura tried to swim away from him but he tightened his arms around her. She was flush against him. She ran her hands through his hair and wrapped her legs around his waist. But when she leaned in, he leaned back, avoiding her.

"Nooo, no. Nice try, but I'm too smart for that move now."

"Fine. I'm sending an emergency signal to the Enterprise to come pick us up."

Leonard gave her an incredulous look. "And why would they pick us up? They know we're in the throes of energy overload."

"I'm making it look like Starfleet is sending it."

He let her go now. "Ah ha. You push hard enough and you get to the heart of the matter. We can't do that, hon."

"Why do you care? Don't you know what we could do? They don't even know the power that's-"

"Thankfully, I didn't get as much juice in my brain as you do. I'm not feeling peckish for power." He immediately got out of the lake and walked towards the transmitter.

She took half a second to appreciate the view of him walking away from her, but knew that he was going to dismantle the transmitter.

"Don't."

"Don't what? I've got the Enterprise's best interests at heart."

"How do you know I don't?"

"I can only go on my guts, and my guts say not to let you do it."

"Then you don't trust me." That hurt. He'd had her, completely. He wanted her completely. And still he didn't trust that she knew what she was doing. That's because he was stupid. As smart and powerful as he now was, she was still completely alone in the universe.

He didn't answer her claim. He just gave her a look. Don't make it about this. She gave his look right back. She was daring him to touch the transmitter. He did. And as soon as he did, she sent him to his back with a bolt of light from her hands.

Ow. She should get out of the water if she was going to do this. The conduction from the water shocked badly. As she left the lake she could see steam rising from her body. Leonard coughed and looked up at her. He was afraid. Good.

"Uhura."

"You don't think we're on a first name basis, after last night?"

"Nyota, darling, dearest, sweetheart, whatever you want, with a cherry on top, please don't do this. Give it a day or two. Feel it out." He pointed at his head. "It's a trick. This power, these brains, they're an illusion. You think you can do anything but they're playing you."

Uhura laughed. "No. They're playing you. I can do anything. "

He got to his feet and went again for the transmitter. This time the light didn't come from her hands. It came from her eyes. He was on his back again, yelping in pain. He had red marks, burns from her attacks, blossoming across his white skin.

"STOP," she said.

He stared at her eyes. "How'd you do that? Can I do that?"

She blinked a few times. She felt a sharp stab of pain, of exhaustion. She put a hand to her head. "I don't- I-"

And then she felt his power. The lightning from his eyes shot down her spine and made her legs and arms numb. She fell, but wouldn't let herself stay down. She propped herself up on one arm and pushed back up to standing.

"Whew," Leonard said, rolling his eyes around. "That's a weird-"

She attacked again, this time with both hands and eyes. He struggled towards her, eyes closed firmly. He grabbed a hold of her leg. She tried to shake him but she couldn't. Her lightning sputtered out, like she'd run out of ammo.

"It's finite," he said, using Uhura to pull himself up. He faced her, looking her in the eyes. "The energy is finite. I can feel it. Can you? I think it just replaces itself too quickly for us to drain it entirely." He laughed. His white teeth shone in the sunlight. This time, his smile was a threat. He sent his light straight from his eyes into hers.

He leaned forward on her, grabbing her and holding her close. She struggled but his weight was just too much. They both fell back and rolled- down through the brush and into the lake, energy still connecting them in a beam.

Leonard was right. She could feel it. The water was coursing the energy through them, sapping it from them and burning them with it. They both screamed in pain. Uhura blacked out.

She came to. It was dark outside- or as dark as it could be with the light of the moons. She wasn't in the water. There was no water. It was like there had never been water. There was no grass. No trees. No lake. She could see nothing but dust and scrub in all directions. Her brain felt the same way. There were no growing, shifting thoughts like there had been before. She felt- cloudy.

Leonard was next to her. She checked his pulse. He was alive. They were both still naked. Leonard was badly burned. His skin shined, raw, bruised, and with dark, scary circles around his eyes. Uhura looked down at herself to discover the same.

They needed help.

She tried to create some more water. Her brain struggled. It didn't want to shift the atoms around for her. She opened one of Leonard's eyes with her thumb and index finger. The silver was gone and his eyes were green again. She saw the transmitter and ran to it. In the reflection of the metal she saw her eyes had gone brown again too… mostly. She focused, using all her energy. The transmitter lifted off the ground and moved over a few inches before dropping.

She sat down to catch her breath. Just that tiny movement had been exhausting. He had done it. He'd gotten rid of their power. She grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it at him. She hoped it hurt. He came around at that.

He inspected himself and then looked over at her. She felt ashamed. She was naked, and now crying, and she couldn't do anything anymore. All she was- was stuck here. With him.

Leonard sat up, with difficulty, and came over to her. He sat next to her and let his shoulder brush hers. She moved away.

"You've killed us."

"I couldn't let you kill them."

"Fuck you. You said you cared about me."

"Why can't I care about all of us?"

Uhura didn't have an answer. All she could do was cry. She rolled herself into a ball, hiding her exposure. It hurt her burns to do it, but at the moment, she was embracing the misery. Leonard approached again and enveloped her. He didn't say anything. That kind of helped.

Kirk tapped his foot impatiently, sitting in his chair on the bridge.

They were travelling Warp 2. They should have been travelling at Warp 5, but hell no, Kirk wasn't going to do that. He was- against his will- moving away from Bones and Uhura, but he was going to do it as slowly as he could.

It had been two days since he'd come to and they were gone. The further they got, the worse Kirk's mood became. He hadn't been eating or sleeping. He'd let the Alpha crew get their rest the past two nights but he stayed in the chair. He'd been waiting for word from Starfleet, but nothing had come. Still. It was completely unacceptable. Unprofessional. This was clearly a top priority problem. Both Uhura and Bones were heroes. Starfleet, hell, the Federation as a whole was underestimating the gravity of this.

As Kirk inwardly boiled, the rest of the crew was completely zoned out. Only Spock seemed unfazed by the lack of activity. He continued to type out his reports and scan the space around them as if their mission had been unchanged. The only indicator that he felt anything about it was that he hadn't left Kirk's side since he had woke up after the fight.

Uhura's chair had been taken by some other Ensign who knew a bunch of esoteric, whatever languages. Kirk knew he was supposed to respect and treat the new guy the same way he treated Uhura, but it was just not the same. He liked his crew. His friends. Not some random officers.

And then the Ensign spoke. "Incoming call from Starfl-"

"Put them on," Kirk interrupted. Finally.

Some Admiral he didn't know was on his screen. "Captain Kirk. In response to your first officer's reports, we are saddened by this unfortunate turn of events in your mission-"

"Saddened? I'd say it's something to be more panicked about, wouldn't you, Spock?"

He looked over his shoulder. Spock raised an eyebrow and shifted his focus to the Admiral. She cleared her throat.

"Captain, I understand your feelings of friendship towards Lieutenant Uhura and Chief Medical Officer McCoy. However, your current mission is of greater importance-"

"Of greater importance than what? Their lives? Their jobs as part of this mission?"

"If you continue to interrupt my message I will be forced to discipline you and your crew and to make a mark on your record. May I proceed, Captain Kirk?"

Kirk crossed his arms and got up. He couldn't look at her in the face. He looked across the bridge instead, pretending to listen instead of what he was really doing- fantasizing about killing her with his own hands. He felt Khan bristle inside and tried to control himself.

"You may proceed, Admiral."

"Thank you. Captain, you are to put this event behind you entirely, and to continue with 100% devotion to your current mission. Starfleet will assign a science team to research the effects of this energy field. If a solution is reached within an adequate timeframe, we will send a team to retrieve the Doctor and the Lieutenant. If not, we must accept that they be considered casualties. You knew the possibilities when you accepted this mission, Captain Kirk. Now you must continue to do your job. If you don't, we will find someone else aboard who can- and you will be put in the brig and tried for mutiny."

"How can I be tried for mutiny?! I'M THE CAPTAIN!"

But she'd already disconnected. The rest of the bridge crew stared at him, half terrified, half pissed off.

"SULU."

"Go. I've got it. I'll put us back on warp 5."

"FINE. SPOCK."

Spock followed him into the turbolift.

Spock followed Jim into his quarters. Jim closed and locked the door behind them. He punched the wall. Spock surmised this action was, like his raised voice, a reaction to the Admiral's orders.

"Jim, I apologize on behalf of the Admiral. However, the orders are-"

"If you say logical I'm going to break your nose again."

"As stimulating as I find our spars, I do not think that would be the most productive solution."

"Yeah? What would be? Going on our merry way and leaving them to die? Our friends? My best friend? Your girlfriend?"

"I am monogamous, Jim."

"They're going to die. No one's going to 'retrieve' them. They got their data. They'll spend millions on research and leave Bones and Uhura to rot. They can't find a fucking beagle, how are they going to figure out how to get those two back? Fucking Federation bureaucracy. They're idiots. Fools."

Jim smashed his hand into the wall again. He tried to repeat his action but Spock put his hand in the path of Jim's and caught it, holding it back.

"To what end does this declaration bring us?"

"You mean what good does it do to fight it? Do I have any better ideas?" He pulled his fist out of Spock's hand.

"Affirmative."

"I do. I say fuck this Admiral. Let's go back, send a landing team down, sedate them, and bring them back. Then we can keep them under until we find a solution to the problem. "

Spock could think of many issues with this line of reasoning. He hoped that Jim would offer an illogical and inspired idea as he often did; one that Spock had not entertained with his deductive reasoning. This time it was simply an emotional and weak idea. It stemmed more from Jim's desperation than from the excitement and sense of adventure that often fueled his flawless (and reckless) plans.

Deep inside, Spock felt a twinge of emotion. It was simultaneously sad and affectionate. He attempted to, as the Doctor would say, 'sugarcoat' his refutation of Jim's idea.

"When we left the planet, Doctor McCoy was capable of controlling the bridge and the people on it from his position on the planet. If that is still the case- and there is no reason to believe that it has changed- then there is no possibility of arriving within their space without their knowledge and control over us."

"There's gotta be some way we can cloak ourselves from them."

"Even if there were- suppose it takes years to find a solution to the effects of the energy. What life would they experience if they were to spend that time unconscious in the medical bay. Right now they are conscious and alive, by my estimation of their survival probabilities. Their quality of life would be higher staying on the planet. Additionally, with their heightened intelligence, they may find a solution before we would."

"That doesn't mean they'd want to use it." Jim went to the other side of the room and stood, resting his forehead against the wall. He looked- resigned. "I get what you mean though. That would be cruel. I'd rather have superpowers and be stuck in one place than- asleep somewhere, being prodded, I guess."

Jim turned around to face Spock. He made a noise, somewhere between a sigh and a growl. He did not move from that spot. He looked indecisive and helpless. Spock crossed to him and decided to attempt a human gesture of encouragement and support. He wrapped his arms around Jim's torso and set his cheek against Jim's cheek.

This was a hug. Jim reciprocated the action, applying a great amount of pressure. Spock had not realized that this gesture could be not only a friendly one but also an arousing one. He returned an added pressure to the embrace. Green blood pumped through him at his hips and into his cheeks. He had a strange desire to remain in this state for the forseeable future- his Jim protected and in contact with him.

But Jim extracted his arms and face from Spock. He looked into Spock's eyes. His irises were a shallow blue. Spock couldn't see into them. He wanted to crack through the frozen layer on top to get to the emotion that remained so close to the rest of his skin. Jim placed one hand on each of Spock's cheeks. His thumbs brushed across the areas where Spock's blood had rushed.

Jim's eyes looked down from Spock's eyes- to his lips. If Spock was correct, Jim was considering sharing another human gesture with him. Spock looked at Jim's lips. He considered the way Jim often pouted, or the way he breathed, or the way he often moistened his lips with his tongue. Spock found himself open to trying this with his Captain. He had found kisses with Nyota to be pleasant as well, but he anticipated that this would be different.

Jim moved closer to him. His lips parted. Spock could feel the heat of his breath against his own mouth.

There was a hail. Their mouths remained 1.71 inches apart.

"Captain-" It was Lieutenant Sulu. "You'll never guess what we ran into."

Kirk bit his lip and stepped back, out of Spock's physical proximity. "Sorry. That was- sorry. I just wanted to say thank you."

"You are welcome Captain." Spock answered, following Jim back to the bridge, yet again.

#kirk #spock #uhura #Nyota Uhura #bones #leonard mccoy #star trek #SPACE HUSBANDS #shipping

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thebirdingproject · 4 years

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Birding From Home: Your Guide to Birding during a Pandemic

For millions of people stuck indoors following the state-mandated “stay at home” order, life inside can quickly get pretty boring. With a smorgasbord of social media served on glowing screens, one has a near-infinite variety of websites at their fingertips and new apps to download on their smartphones. But no matter how many times we refresh the CDC website or check the investment portfolio (Hint: the stock market is still down) there’s something else to grab our quickly-crumbling attention online. Besides, the vitriolic rivalries in the exotic animal world can only keep us busy for so long...

When you've been self-quarantined for what feels like an eternity (has it really only been a couple of weeks?) you’ve made the decision to take a break and get outside. Upon stepping outside, the unfamiliar sunlight blinds your eyes, and the smell of fresh air seems foreign. It’s Spring now, after all. You notice birds chirping. Many of the typical sounds--cars, sirens, and airplanes have been dampened as people are traveling less and staying home. Suddenly you realize that the birds are louder than you remember… You might even wonder, what am I hearing?

What’s next? Maybe it’s time to try birdwatching.

Most people think birdwatching is just a hobby for retired people, like golf or crochet. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In recent years, birdwatching has exploded in popularity. Millions of people from all backgrounds and age groups have ditched surfing the couch and picked up their smartphone and binoculars. That’s right, folks--birdwatching has gone digital. Millions of people now carry their phone birding with them, armed with a variety of applications capable of identifying and recording birds, finding and sharing bird sightings with a worldwide community, and live-streaming that cacophony of noisy birds perched on the powerlines outside Wal-Mart. The truth is, birds are everywhere, and can be enjoyed in an infinite number of ways. While some people choose to bird with binoculars and spotting scopes and cameras, the barriers to entry are low and all one effectively needs to begin birdwatching is a desire to go outside, open your senses, and a willingness to learn. The equipment can come later on.

You Already Call it ‘Birding’... You’re Basically A Pro

Maybe you picked up a pair of binoculars years ago, or took Grandma’s bird book outside and figured out that the noisy blue bird in your parent’s backyard was not an Eastern Bluebird, but actually was a Blue Jay. Congrats! You got into social distancing before it was cool--you’re already a birder. One of the simple joys about birdwatching is that it’s accessible to everybody, no matter where you are, just step outside and look up, and chances are you’ll encounter birds.

Chances are your world has changed too. The local areas you are used to birding with regularity (The area known among birders as your “patch”) are now closing. State Parks, Wildlife Areas, National Parks are shutting their gates in response to COVID-19 in an effort to flatten the curve. What’s a birder to do? Well, you’re not alone in navigating these changes. To help in this transition, I’ve put together a few suggestions of ways you can still engage with birds and the birding community no matter what your interest level is.

Support Citizen Science

Backyard birding has grown in popularity. In 1998, Cornell University’s Lab of Ornithology partnered with the National Audubon Society to create the Great Backyard Bird Count. Each year, thousands of people count the birds they observe in their own backyards, and submit their sightings over a four-day period, providing scientists with a snapshot of bird populations across the globe. This past February, nearly 7,000 species were reported across the globe over a four-day period. That’s pretty incredible! This project, where citizens all follow the same protocols and share their observations is called citizen science-- and generates a data set that researchers, scientists, and students can use to analyze and study. Cornell’s Laboratory of Ornithology has since launched eBird, a free citizen science portal to report the birds you see anytime, anywhere. Their Merlin Bird ID app has helped bolster Cornell’s place at the cutting edge of using technology to identify and record birds from wherever you are.

Take the Leap! Create an eBird Account

If you haven’t already, consider making an eBird account. Visit the link above, sign up, and start learning how to submit checklists. Consider downloading the eBird app, and submit a checklist from your own backyard. If you need help identifying a bird you see, download the Merlin app and follow the prompts to make an identification. You can even upload a photo! If you need help, just email [email protected] and I’ll be happy to identify it for you.

Travel Around the Country From Your Desk

Move over Fantasy Football, Fantasy Birding or “fanbirding” has become a real thing

Bird enthusiasts who can’t get outside IRL (In Real Life) have taken up Fantasy Birding. Similar to the fantasy sports we already know and love, fantasy birding follows real-time sightings recorded by birdwatchers who submit their observations from parks, yards, and wildlife refuges all over the world through Cornell University’s citizen science app eBird

Just like its athletic counterpart, Fantasy Birding users create an account and choose from a variety of games to play, including the “traditional” ABA Big Year, and a variety of Big Day games around the country. Feeling ambitious? It’s never too late to join the global Big Year. After joining a game, you select a birding location for each day, and enjoy watching real-time bird reports filter in throughout the day from the comfort of their own home. Each bird “sighting” is added to your list, and you can learn more about the birds reported, the locations you visit, and start planning that dream birding trip to Thailand you’ve been wanting to take. Disclaimer: with COVID-19 prohibiting travel and birding, the real-time results are much more limited and local to areas, but this just makes the game more challenging and exciting. (With many organized bird tours being cancelled this year, if anyone has tips on where to find Greater Sage-Grouse please let me know) Happy Birding!

Join New Facebook Groups

One new Facebook group that has popped up within the last two weeks (currently 1.9K members strong) is #BirdTheFeckAtHome A play on the popular hashtag to keep people from venturing outside and spreading the coronavirus, this group is self-described as being “for Birders Self-isolating and Socially Distancing” to avoid the risk of spreading COVID-19 “for the sake of an extra tick or another overrated photo…” With the goal to collectively amass 1,000 species from group members’ backyards in a shared online bird checklist, the group is well on its way--having already spotted more than 1,300 species globally. If you’re looking to join a global community of bird enthusiasts, or live somewhere cool with unique bird species you can add to the checklist, consider joining on Facebook. Just search “birdthefeckathome” in the search bar on Facebook.

Join the ABA

The American Birding Association, or ABA is an organization all bird-lovers should support. A hub of resources ranging from bird identification, to free podcasts, to a digital and print magazine that covers all things birdwatching, the ABA is a resource unlike many others--a luxury that members have had for over 50 years! Like many nonprofits, the ABA is navigating the changing landscape due to COVID-19 and working to adapt and make changes during these times.

For a look at 5 Things Birders Can Do During the COVID-19 Crisis, click here:

ABA President Jeff Gordon recently shared a Facebook video encouraging building the birding community and fostering connection. “We really need you right now. Our revenue has really taken a hit. We have postponed events, advertisers and sponsors have had to regrettably pull back on their support... “ Jeff emphasized that these unforeseen factors make membership “triply important” and the ABA is incentivizing joining by offering membership discounts. If you are a lister, you should check out ABA’s new Listing Central 3.0 You can now add photos to your checklist, and easily import eBird checklists to arrive at your total ABA number that includes recent lumps and splits, and Hawaiian birds. I know what I’ll be doing next week…

The ABA has some great online content, and new ideas for content on the way. I suggest joining to see these new changes, and to support our own. If you’ve ever helped another birder get on a bird, lowered your scope for someone else to look through, or stopped to share birds with someone new to birding, this is no different. This is a way you can help the birding community at a time when we need you.

If you’d like to help the ABA, consider signing up, renewing your lapsed subscription, or giving a year’s subscription to a young birder who might love reading ABA’s outstanding Birding magazine. You know they’ll love it!

Use Code BIRDWELL2020 for a discounted membership.

Connect with Other Birders Digitally

Use technology to virtually connect with your birding friends, for a chat

Zoom is a video collaboration platform that people can use to teach online classes, run business meetings, host late-night television shows, or hold family game nights and social gatherings, all from the comfort of your living room. It’s free (to an extent) and can be easily downloaded and learned in a short amount of time.

Today I had a fantastic Zoom chat with six other birders from around the country. After birding alone for the last two weeks, it was refreshing to see and talk to my birding friends. We checked in with one another, talked about the positives of self-quarantine, and commiserated over the closing of many of our favorite birding hotspots close to home. We discussed how to properly self-distance while birding, and the ethics of posting about rare birds during a time when chasing across town or county lines might not be the best (or easiest) thing to do. Zoom is free to create an account, and you can host sessions with all of your friends, using video and audio and a chat feature. Now that I’ve learned some of the in’s and out’s of this software, I will definitely will be hosting more meetings with birders, and using it as a platform to teach and “virtually” bird with friends across the continent and the world during these next few uncertain months.

Review Your Bird Photos and Find Banded Birds

Do You Have Photos of A Banded Bird?

If you’re like me, you’ve been using this extra time at home to go through past files of bird photos. Perhaps you’re cleaning out the out of focus shots, or maybe you’re viewing some photos for the first time on your computer. Like me, you might have photos of a banded bird. You might be wondering, what can you do with these photos?

According to the Bird Banding Laboratory, over the last 116 years, nearly 60 million birds have been banded across North America. Of these, nearly 4 million bands have been recovered and reported. Many of the band reports come from hunters who harvest waterfowl and migratory game birds, but more and more of these reports are being submitted by birdwatchers and photographers who can photograph the bands, without having to capture or stress the bird! Advances in digital camera technology has made it possible to photograph tiny songbirds and recover band data, helping to gain a better understanding of birds without killing them.

These reports are an important tool that help researchers study the movement, survival, and behavior of birds. This data helps scientists monitor populations, set hunting regulations, as well as lower hazards at airports keeping planes and birds safe. Banding studies done by partner organizations also support international conservation partners, including Partners in Flight and the North American Waterfowl Management Plan

This week alone I’ve sorted through thousands of photos, from geese gracing the Hawaiian islands to ravens in Yellowstone and avocets in Arizona. So far, I’ve come across nearly a dozen photos of different species all sporting “jewelry” (a term hunters use to reference banded birds) These birds might have an aluminum leg band, with a series of numbers and letters stamped on it, or have a color band, neck collar, tarsal flag, wing tag, or other marker (even spray paint!)

HOW TO REPORT BANDED BIRDS

Visit USGS Bird Banding Laboratory Home Page: https://www.usgs.gov/centers/pwrc/science/bird-banding-laboratory?qt-science_center_objects=0#qt-science_center_objects

Click ‘Report a Band’ or visit https://www.pwrc.usgs.gov/BBL/bblretrv/

Follow prompts

When finished, you’ll receive a certificate with the data about the bird you reported. It’s fascinating to see when and where they were captured and banded, and where they have been since!

I save and print these certificates and keep them in a binder with photos of the birds I’ve reported over the years. It can be a fun way to look back on those exciting birding days you spotted and photographed a banded bird!

That’s all for now… I have many more ideas to add so I’ll likely update this post, or write another one soon.

Be well, stay safe, and be kind to others.

Your birding friend,

Christian

#birding #covid-19 #stay at home #birding from home #fantasty birding #ebird

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