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wasflypaw · 3 years

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Yo Dsmpblr: Can We Tone It Down?

I've noticed something recently, and it's been bothering me a little. The lighthearted apologist discourse has become... a lot less lighthearted?

Its normal to be passionate over this stuff, I am, I get it. Especially when it's about a character you really enjoy or relate to. I do it, a lot of the fandom does. It's easy to get invested in this stuff - whether its because you genuinely really enjoy writing essays (I do !! :] ) or whether its because a take you've seen got you so heated you just Had to respond.

I just think it's gotten to the point where we prioritize defending these fictional characters over the Very Real People talking about them?

Yesterday I made a post about how I wanted the prison arc with c!Dream to have a Little more immersive acting bc I Know that would make me feel more sympathetic. I got an anon telling me I'm deranged, a monster, a horrible human being, "a BAD person" because I was "invalidating c!Dream's trauma" and it got me thinking. This, alongside the Reddit post I saw earlier where someone got into an argument with their friend because they were a c!Dream apologist and accused them of being an abuse apologist.

Not only did anon:

1. Not consider the fact that I mightve gone through something like that

But 2. Didnt stop to think "is this fictional character I'm defending really worth telling someone they're deranged over?"

Guys: These are Not real people. These are Not real people with real trauma.

I get it, I really do. We can project onto characters and relate to their trauma, and it's easy to get hurt when someone downplays or acts like they deserved said trauma. But at the end of the day they are Fictional Characters. I dont believe anyone is an abuse apologist even when they say shit like "c!Tommy provoked c!Dream/c!Tommy deserve it" and while I believe that is a very horrid take I cant stop anyone from thinking it and its Very unlikely they think that of real abuse victims. I do think it shouldnt be said or at least needs tagging, though. Because the more people saying stuff like that the less people feel comfortable in this fandom. I do think it's a case of "block and move on", though

Nobody condones what their fav does. c!Dream apologists are Not abuse apologists, c!Dream apologists do not hate traumatized people (especially when they themselves say they relate to what c!Dream is going through in the prison), c!Dream apologists can make me uncomfortable with what they imply sometimes but that's as far as it goes. And it goes the other way too, people who dislike c!Dream dont condone irl torture or prisons (or even the DSMP ones), not every c!Tommy fan is a trauma dumper who projects on c!Tommy, etc etc

I have NEVER once thought of any of them as a bad person, they all seem like very nice people just with takes I disagree with over a fictional character.

Im making this post because I've also noticed something else: People insulting eachothers intelligence over these analysis posts. And it BOTHERS me

When I make a critical post against c!Dream refuting a take I've seen, I seem to get a lot of "c!Dream apologists lack critical thinking if they cant see this" and when I see takes from The Other Side I see stuff like "my takes are too nuanced for you" and it's like. Can we not?? That's NOT the intent of my posts at all. The intent of my posts is for anyone reading to try to understand my POV and what I think of the characters, NOT to insinuate they're dumb for thinking that way. Genuinely, stop

My posts arent to FORCE people to change their opinion, my posts arent to make people think they're DUMB for not agreeing. My posts are simply here to see My opinions and My side, and agree if they want to

I had to make a post the other day setting a boundary to Please Not Respond With Hostility On My Posts because someone disagreed with me and some people who followed me immediately jumped into an argument with them. That's not how you get people to see your POV - do not be hostile to people directly? There's a difference between a gossipy "lmao look at this take I saw" and straight up arguing with someone to their face

Curate your space, block people who make you even mildly uncomfortable, I do it. A lot of takes can be very uncomfortable relating to a characters mental health or what theyve been through but its Important to separate fiction from reality. I'm talking from experience - if a take makes you So uncomfortable you break down or have a very negative reaction it's best to step away, block and try to distract yourself. Apologist discourse can get heated because of the dark topics and it's taken me like 4 months to realise that if a take that's victim blaming for example leaves me shaking and angry that is Not healthy and I NEED to block that person and block as many tags/people as I can to never see that take again. Looking at discourse can be entertaining, I get it, but if its causing you genuine stress you Need to step away.

Anyway Yeah Tone it Down!!! We're all trying to Have Fun Here

#dream smp #fandom critical #abuse tw #torture tw #victim blaming tw #long post

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rafe-cameron · 4 years

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THE ANALYSIS OF JOHN B ROUTLEDGE

In the fandom, what I've seen is a lot of what I feel is misinterpretation of John B's character, which is leading to a lot of unnecessary slander, and overall a negative vibe surrounding John B, and giving a negative wave of backlash to those who do like his character. I am all for positive emotions, and supporting and liking and disliking whatever characters you'd like! Though, I would like to put this out here just as a way of explaining what I've seen in his character. This is not a professional opinion by any means, but I do have a habit and (ringing my own bell) talent in analyzing different characters from an unbiased point of view.

DISCLAIMER: All of this is not fact, but a closely analyzed opinion. You are free to disagree and I genuinely do not care if you don't like John B! I wrote this because I wanted to and feel it could help. And this is written FOR JOHN B. Don't hit me with comments of “but JJ also” or “but Kie didn't MEAN to” or anything, because I am not writing about them. I’m writing this one for John B, about John B, and how someone would view life through his eyes and with everything that happened.

Now, onto the analysis.

Episode 1:

John B has a wave of issues being presented in not-so friendly forms. A 16 year old is living alone, considering his father has been missing for 9 months. Looking at it that way, he's had to finish his school year while juggling constant jobs to take care to himself, for food, gas, and paying bills, on top of school. Even if it's revealed he missed a lot of school that year, it's hard to blame him. His mom left him when he was still a baby, His uncle by definition also abandoned him, and his father is gone. He's threatened with foster care daily, which means he would lose everything that he has, his home, and his friends, which are the only thing keeping his head above water.

That alone is enough to give him intense abandonment issues. Both parental figures left, his guardian is as he described it “MIA”, so his ability to process how people see him and how he sees relationships is going to be, at best, rocky. He's going to have it in his head that everyone around him can leave at any time and he won't have any sort of say in it. Not to mention the depression and the anxiety that would bubble up from all of this. Depression makes you lash out, anxiety makes you pull away, two things he's shown to have trouble controlling.

He gets an idea for a way to try and make his life better, and get money to support himself, JJ being the one to hype that up despite Kie and Pope being against it.

Come the party later that night at the boneyard. A widespread party with lots of people there, lots of drinking, and comes the fight between Topper and JJ, which led to John B stepping in to protect JJ.

This is the first of many times where John B is almost murdered or killed. Hearing Topper yells “dont make me drown you like your old man”, then being drowned by him, while everyone stood and watched until JJ went off his shits and saved him.

This? Is all just the first episode. A peek into the curtain of how his family abandoned him, then he gets his shit beaten in, and he gets drowned by Topper. This would only worsen his already fragile mental state. At this point, he's ready to call it off, and leave it alone, but JJ gets desperate to help his friend and himself, and he goes along with it. This leads to, again, him getting shot at by the two guys hunting down the compass he stole off the boat. The second time John B is almost killed.

“With no parents, no money, and no one looking out for me, I've got no chance, unless I make it on my own.”

He sees no way out of the hole he's in anymore unless he fights tooth and nail to get out of it, no matter what it takes.

Episode 2:

In this episode, he's got it in his head now that since he found a compass on a wrecked boat, that his dad is trying to reach out to him. When you have abandonment issues as deep-running as John B, any possible chance that someone who left already is trying to come back? You run with it. You cling to it like it is all you have, and for him, it is. This compass is all that he has to go on, and he's desperate to try and figure it out because this is his fathers last way of communicating with him.

He goes to Ms. Lana's house, and has to both watch and listen to two men terrorize her, and he is told vaguely by Ms. Lana that it is horrible that he has the compass. He returns home to talk to his friends, and goes to his dads office for the first time in a long time, and has to relive the fact his fathers gone at that point.

Only for the two guys to come to John B's house. They break in and completely ransack the place, they steal a good chunk of John B's fathers stuff. They have to sneak out of the window and go to hide until the two men leave, but, he has to sit and watch these people break apart his home and steal from him.

After all of that, they go to the lighthouse, where he's thrown into another panic over this compass that no one is telling him about. He's frustrated, and he's scared. They leave the lighthouse and in a complete blind instinct of adrenaline, he kisses Kie, and gets rejected by her. Then, he gets arrested, questioned, and has to get bailed out by Kie's dad, who insults him. Now Kie won't talk to him, and he has to go home to his damaged house.

He also has to get fired from hi only stable job, so now he has no money and no job, a damaged home, and lost a friend for now.

Not only that, but he does get hunted down by those two men again, and is almost killed for thr 3rd time, and runs through an electric fence, where he's almost killed the 4th time. He gives up his fathers compass, and while ull of hurt and despair for everything, returns home to try and move past everything, but he catches another glimpse of possibility, and he clings to it all over again.

And, his urge and crave to hunt down his dad only grows as they find the Redfield tomb thingy and find the package left behind by Big John.

Episode 3:

It starts off with John B having to sit through the emotion that comes with hearing his fathers voice for the first time in 9 months. The pain and the confusion and how much he missed him rushing back, it's a feeling that is hard to describe, but it is draining, and it doesn't feel good.

He talks to everyone about how he just wants to have a normal life, and stop stressing so much about damn near everything.

He's decently up in this episode, but his actions only worsen. He encourages stealing, and puts himself into risky situations. This is the bud of the suicidal/reckless tendencies he starts to develop as he starts to lose regard for his own safety, because subconsciously, he sees no point in caring about what happens to himself and those around him. This is where he gets desperate for a reason to keep existing, because he lost every other one that he had.

Episode 4:

In this episode, they find the merchant. They track it down and find it's empty, but John B isn't ready to give up.

He gets met, unfortunately, with DCS, who force him to pack, and start to take him away. In an attempt to not leave behind anything? He jumps from a moving vehicle, and is now being hunted down for the first time.

He's taken in by Sarah.

DISCLAIMER: OPINION.

This is where we see Sarah see that things with John B aren't cookie cutter. She knows hes plotting something, and she wants to get away from her Kook life and do something different and exciting. So, she tags along for the ride. Her and John B go out and Sarah puts John B into a situation where he is being led on by her, despite her being in a relationship. But, her desperation to break from her box gets the best of her, and John B clings to that romance, because a romantic relationship has a more solid foundation than a friendship to him. They're less likely to leave him. So, he wants to run with it.

This is a huge part of why he kissed Kie. In his eyes, if he's dating them, maybe they wont leave, but he can't have that same situation with just a friend. He knows that, and this is where he starts to push away his friends. Bite before you can get bitten, it's depression + abandonment issues 101.

Episode 5:

This one is.. a mess. Its a mess.

We start right off the bat with John B realizing that he can't go home anymore. JJ and John B get into a pretty nasty argument. JJ is concerned for his friend, and he wants him to be safe and stop all of this, naturally, but to John B? He hears JJ trying to give him on him, to abandon him, and to leave all of this. He reacts to this by lashing out at him, yelling at him, and talking about how he just wants to stop because he got beat up. Which, John B is still under the assumption it was just the Kooks, when it was both the Kooks and his father – something John B didn't catch onto. After they yell at eachother, John B has JJ following him again. It's a safe zone once more in John B's mind.

Then, after the party is crashed and they all meet up, John B tries to explain that Sarah got wrapped up into all of this. He has Kie, Pope, and even if JJ knew already, he's not too happy about it either. So he's got everyone mad at him for this, and even if spirits are high in terms of his recklessly driven hunt, he sees everyone around him getting angrier, and angrier. And that? Is making him angry too.

He goes to meet Sarah at the hawks nest. And once again, he is almost killed. He's shoved off of it by none other than Topper (who has tried to murder him twice now), and plummets, and ends up in the hospital.

But things can start to turn around, because Ward took him in and he has a legal guardian now, right?

No.

Ward is plotting to keep John B under his nose to make sure he doesn't find anything else out.

Episode 6:

Again, not much happens here. Things seem to be going good and despite Wards want for John B laying low, he doesn't. He finds the gold.

Episode 7:

Here, we have another instance in which JJ's bad ideas get John B (and everyone) put into danger. After trying to pawn off the gold, they get stopped by Barry, who threatens to kill him and robs them. John B is quick to jump into the line of fire and get the gold back, desperate to keep it. He succeeds, but JJ barrels into Barrys house and robs him. JJ manhandles John B a good few times for trying to stop him.

And nearing the end of this, he's told by Ward that Ward knows about the gold, and wants John B to give it all up.

John B says no. He's gotten this far and can't lose it all to Ward. Not only that? But he finds out Ward had something to do with his father disappearing. That sort of news is heartbreaking. John B snaps just a little more, but so does Ward.

Episode 8:

John B and ward get into it. Ward is messy and doesn't hesitate to try and kill John B while they're on the boat. Again, for the 7th time, John B is almost killed, but escapes it just in time to keep going.

He goes to Lana, who explains that Ward was the one who killed his father. He finds out now that the man he trusted and the man that took him in both wanted to steal from him, and murdered his only parent? That's too much to carry for any one person.

Ward tells authorities John B tried to kill him, and he's being hunted down even more than he was before.

He sees now that again, all of his friends are both worried and angry with him. He's panicking at this point. He's stuck on the run and can't seem to catch a break, more so now that Ward figured out where the gold is, and sees him trying to leave with it.

Episode 9:

John B now is framed for the murder of Peterkin. He's almost killed by Rafe at the runway, and is now on the run again. He's facing major charges and none of them are of things he actually ever did.

John B has no choice but to run away from the OBX, from the US< and try and figure out what to do with himself from there.

He's almost killed by Rafe, again, because he set the bell tower ablaze.

But he manages to escape long enough so everyone can put together the pieces of his escape plan.

Episode 10:

He leaves. He leaves with Sarah on the boat, but of course, power has to go back on, and they lose their cover. They're both hunted down, chased out to sea, and is considered dead because of the storm. He survives again, but just by the skin of his teeth.

Looking back on everything that happened to him just in these episodes, on top of knowing he had to deal with his father being gone for months without a clue of how to take care of himself, plus the fact he's now headed for his gold without anything but one bar and the clothes on his back?

John B quite literally lost everything. He lost his family, his home, his friends, his job, everything that kept his head above water, yet, he's expected to be the strong one, and the leader of the group.

He has expectations that he cant meet, and he's getting the wrong kind of help for his issues. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, abandonment issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if various forms of PTSD stemmed from everything that's happened to him. In no way is John B a perfect person. He is a flawed and complex character, who made poor choices, and acted out in bad ways, but, the entire gang is guilty of doing some bad things too.

JJ's aggression and lack of impulse control.

Pope's passive aggression and constant cold shoulder to not getting what he wants.

Kie's hostility and lack of self restraint.

Topper's sexism and abusiveness.

Rafe's drug abuse and abusiveness.

Again, you are so more than welcome to dislike and like whatever characters you want! Though, I hope this point of view can help clear up some of the thing's ive seen on John B being irredeemable and a bad friend to everyone.

John B is a wonderfully written, intense, lovable character, and I wanted to share my thoughts on him, his trauma, and his life! If anyone wants to see more deep character analysis', don't be afraid to request them! I enjoy doing them!

- jv

#outer banks #obx #john b obx #john b #john b routledge #john booker routledge #jj maybank #pope heyward #kiara carrera #rafe cameron #topper thorton #sarah cameron

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maddiefriendlovesbilly · 4 years

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Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

#spencer x ghost #jess writes #ishhhhh???????#venturiantale #venturiantale pie #johnny ghost #spencer acachalla #johnny toast #jimmy casket #fred spooker #let me know if you enjoyed this or not it was intense #sr #ship review #ship reviews #vt ships #vt ship reviews #vt ship review #vt sr

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thewoodbine · 5 years

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Hang with me as I go through a mindset shift

I'm firmly establishing that my goal has been, and is increasing to be a hate free space. I have failed to live up to this in the past from time to time (many times), but it is the goal. Its a change within myself Im trying to make to move from hate to empathy. And uh.... That means all of it...for everyone.

I'm fed up with polarizing hate culture. I'm fed up with people mocking, insulting, and berating eachother for their differences in opinion. And you know what, that fucking means I am welcoming people into my space who are conservative, homophobic, transphobic, nazi's, anti vaxx, flat earthers, racist, all those people we love to hate here on Tumblr.

Because while I may strongly disagree with these views, and while I will not tolerate anyone attacking anyone else in my space. They need to be heard too. Not because their opinions are the ones I want to hear- but because you cannot hate anyone into changing their mind. If all Nazi's are met with are violent angry opposition then it will be very easy to cement themselves in their ways and paint that opposition as evil. A homophobe will never ever have to question their own belief that gay is evil if all they are met with is LGBT+ members telling them to go to hell or that they are morons. But if they are met with love, sooner or later it'll eat away at their negative perception. Maybe not the first interaction, probably not even the second, but every little positive interaction with corrode this villanized character of the Other they have in their mind.

Now dont worry, I'm still going to be my salty, matter-of-fact self. But that attitude will be towards individual actions and individual ideas, not demographics- no matter how unpleasant they are.

If you can't stand that and you won't affiliate with someone unless they join in on your Us Vs Them pack mentality- then I'm comfortable with you making the choice that you must leave. Because honestly, I'm not going to bother trying to work with witches devoid of tolerance, patience, and empathy. Those people make for poor practictioners and underdeveloped people in general. Low energy vibrations if you will~ Now don't worry, I did say no hate of any kind. So while I won't block someone just for having an opposing view, and I won't openly make hate post- I will not ever let people leave attacking comments or harass other followers for any reason. And I will still continue to promote my views, but I can do so without making Anti- post about others views.

Like I said, this is a mindset shift, not a suddenly 180. So it's taking me time and I'm still not there yet. But its who I wanna be and who I will be and I hope you guys are along for the personal growth ride. Even help hold me accountable.

That being said I'd understand if you had questions so feel free to send me ask or comment on this subject.

Again, I will not be promoting these problematic views on my blog as something good or excusable, rather I invite these people to exsist in my space as a way for them to be exposed to alternative ideas without active condemnation, with the hopes of fostering a greater sense human understanding. Because again, you can't insult people into agreeing with you. You can hate people into love.

The door is always open and the coffee is always on, and that's just how it is in this bitch of blog.

I do reserve the right to throw your ass out though.

~ ☀

#witch #witchcraft #e #personal #hate #polarization #witchblr #tumblr #positvity

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busyorc-blog · 6 years

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Truth about Gamers mindset on Women's Issues.

So as you all know this has been a contentious issue for some time. Even now people keep posting "controversy" click bait articles on why video games are sexist and misleading articles.

Why are Gamers so hostile to female gamers or gamer girls?

Well its quite simple and its the typical gamer is extremely competitive.

Competition fuels our desires of being legitimized by our fellow men and women.

"But busyorc there are specific things male gamers say hurtful sexist things to women." This is true, but it is not used for the sake of demeaning women for their sex and gender, its a tool to make the female player make a mistake. Is it ok to do? No, but the real reason behind the verbal attacks is because of toxic competition.

So ladies, if a gamer tells you to go the kitchen and make you a sandwich reply with "I must be doing pretty well if you need me to put down my controler." Gamers ARE OVER COMPETITIVE!

Now many of you might say this just enables more bad behavior but to put it bluntly it could be and it is worse already and I jave yet seen a real solution for stopping it. If anything, this sense of competitive overtones comes with the territory.

Now the argument of misogyny is true but only a small minority that actually hate women. These are the bad apples mixed with a whole lot of good and inbetween personal moral codes.

However those who complain about misogyny in games use half truths and bais focus groups to make their point and some are simply over reacting. SOME are. There are legit concerns in gaming that need to be addressed, but they are not as wide spread as some has sought to believe.

Personally I think women feel left out and I can understand this because they didnt really get an invite in the first place. This is due to the fact gamers focusing so much on games and their own past bitterness of being social rejects for enjoying this hobby in the first place.

Take that bitterness and then put that angst into the game you are playing. The game makes gamers feel accomplished when won in contrast where they failed in real life. This is common for many gamers out there and to their reasoning is the argument of the resentment towards women in general but this is only a handful of gamers as I just mentioned earlier they are not the majority.

The real answer is that there is no real hatred for women in general, but there is real hatred towards those women who choose to use gaming for gaining popularity.

The dreaded Gamer Girl!

This was an attempt to weakly associate with video games for popularity and profit which was quickly rejected by the gaming masses. There was swift and heavy backlash that started this whole problem in the first place.

In actuality if you are a girl and you play games, you are already a gamer. There were many girls who played games before this whole issue began. Having pride in being a gamer and a girl is great but when its used to get attention in the first place the argument falls flat. This was figured out by many intelligent young women but got lost by association in the battle of the genders.

When you use your gender to state who you are in this gaming society, it proves you are more interested in recieving a positive label than playing the game and earning one through practice and skill. This is how some gamers view this as one of the key reasons of their resentment. Double standards are all over the place and both specific sides are accusing eachother for its unfair practices. But lets focus on this issue right here.

Now how does this connect to my main point, well its obvious to me and you, that certain gamer girls expected perks to being a girl among boys but got the opposite. That said its a smack in the face to their competitive nature and in a gaming world where your skill and knowledge and hard work isn't affected by what gender you have or what social structure you lived in.

If you have hands then you are already on equal footing as any gamer.

Some women within the feminist 3rd wave movement will contest it does matter as to which I strongly disagree.

When the fact what content you are playing with in the end its all 1s and 0s. However these women are right that it plays to tropes that we are accustomed to, but to that I say "so what." Tropes are entertaining and because one group doesnt find it entertaining anymore doesnt mean that its a legitimate reason to stop. You can say its harmful to society but lets face facts, its entertainment, designed to take our minds off of society and relax. To blame entertainment for its influence is rediculous and shows a lack of self control and a major loose grasp of reality and poor parenting. Parent's job is to teach a child whats important and what isnt, and the content to which entertainment intention is to entertain not warp our actual sense of reality.

But I have gone off point. It comes down to toxic competition; gamers are being scrutinized for their own backlash from pretenders and are already very tense from competing and are bound to explode over defensively.

Toxic Competition isnt just in video games but everywhere in sports and events that are centered around one group fighting for supremacy over the other.

Its gotten so bad it bled into our politics and caused riots.

To me it was obvious that the problem was toxic competition but the loud minority wants to put the blame on a deeper issue to which I have said isnt the actual problem.

The problem is Toxic Competition. Competitors are even taught to goad their opponent to mess up. Sexist and racist comments are simply a tool rather than a motivator. This doesnt excuse bad behavior but its the cause of it. You can look at a guy and say that if he loses to a girl he is then emasculated, when infact it all comes down to being defeated. T

My point is we often look for more controversial issues for bad behavior, when its simply being too competitive.

It would be nice for Gamers to calm down and be civil, and it would be nice that female developers to make what they want without critism, but the solutions people are coming up with adress complex issues to which doesnt focus on the real problem which is competitive behavior. We live in reality to where the internet exists, and when you put yourself out there you will be seen and judged harshly. So you cant expect constructive critism when it could from anyone and anywhere.

We need to look at the real issue here, not misogyny, not sexism, but toxic competition.

The solution we have isnt a perfect one but I think can still work if you have strength in yourself. Thay solution is sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Learn to ignore obvious negative remarks and insults, and ALWAYS be a good sport. Dont gloat when you win and dont explode when you lose.

Its really hard to do but like excersize it doesnt work unless you keep doing it.

You green buddy

BUSYORC

#orcs #gamergate #gamergirl #gamerlife #gamersunite #gamerguy #gamer #women #esports

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years

Text

i spoke it out loud.

i spend like.. alot of time in my head now. no one cares to hear things without giving their dumbass opinion. sometimes i just need to say it out loud and today i opened up to a friend ive bonded very close with but havent been in alot of contact with which meant i had to explain scenarios from start to finish - not brief blips of anxiety fueled thoughts about details.

today i felt publically embarassed. it really, really bothered me that for all ive heard and listened to from him he bailed on my show that he volunteered to be apart of two fucking months ago. it wasnt like i forced him to be involved. i didnt even ask him like i wanted him to do it. it was very casual do you want to be apart of it - sure.

i dont think you understand. under all the shitty men ive stuck it out with being treated like a lesser human while building a reputation and skill in my field FROM FUCKING NOTHING while people fucking died and break ups i id nothing but GET FUCKING BETTER. not a god damn thing stopped me because i kept my personal life seperate.

but this didnt start seperate. and like i think he sees this as nothing when its fucking everything to me and im fucking tired of people seeing it as some junk hobby i do because im “unemployed”. and look - even i can see how fucked up it can be sometimes but people enjoy what i do. i give back to MY community which is compromised of atleast 100+ more people and giving back to a community is not defined in lare fucking numbers like i have to contribute to the whole of society. maybe i fucking am.

and i am really... im angry. im just straight up fucking angry and these things never even came up. none of this is questioned. he didnt insult me. he fucking BAILED which is probably the biggest insult of them all. like... i even brought up the fact he coul be about to cheat on me and i’m more pissed that he insulted me in such a way. do i have a fucking degree? do i pull a paycheck? no. but this is fucking valuable. i see it everytime my miserable piece of shit ass pulls together a gathering or event. the fucking city approached me because i created a product they wanted and for the fucking INTEGRITY of the community i stood up and offered my professional reputation on the line to do better. and you cant show up to a fucking 16 person event and read a god damn story? really? that is an embarassment on my behalf to my personal colleagues and god damnit i fucking live here and i have no choice but to work with this because i want better now not 5 years down the road when im all settled and everything is just a thing i do on the weekends. why cant i contribute now. why cant i build myself this way.

so even if you thin these colleagues are unworthy - you stepped into my fucking realm and you so deeply disrespect something i have built from nothing. my professional reputation is associated with your piece of shit fly by night ass and you know what? my fucking bad. i would never in a million years put up with this shit from anyone not puttin gtheir dick in me so this is absolutely ridiculous. i cant even tolerate this in myself any longer and i hope - honestly - i fucking hope you used this as a leaping point into your big break up because this is what’ll make it stick. right. because you “cant fuck someone else” to solidify an ending but you can assault me in multiple ways.

and we both fucking know. we both legitimately fucking know what happened and thats why were not fucking and thats why youre not trying. this - this is all just natural now. and when they ask me ill have to act dumb - oh i have no idea why hes just this crazy guy its what he does when we both know and this sick twisted brain turned to fucking shit. who rehashes such shit. i was with a guy for way fucking longer than almost any of my current peers and i am not fucking with him but you dont think we didnt grow up together? we ha a whole fucking lifetime together, really. i shared an entire thing that no one else fucking knows about but us but you think i ned to rehash that shit with him? fuck no.

ironic right. i wanted to say how toxic it is to be addicted to the past but i would know. i would fucking know the most and we’re all matthew mccougnhey in dazed nd confused addicted to the past to the nostalgia care free late teens early 20s but we’re fucking old and everyone else has grown up but us and we’re here in the ghettos of the wasted suburbs, drinking and smoking weed to numb the fact that we hit our peaks at 16.

do i even give a fuck? like i give A fuck. clearly. im thiining about it. but not in the sense that im hurt. like its some deep offense that he would do such things. i have never believed a word he has said about our relationship. i believe any mention of long term past next week is a fucking joke. but he’s also incredibly kind to me. an i dont think at all that he would carry on some “affair” in private - THATS not our deal.

i dont care that hes talking to her. the grief process is hard and this is a fucked up situation. that doesnt bother me. i think its super wrong to carry on a relationship with this person in close measures but finding a path through grief - whether 2,3,5 years; i get it. does he need to fuck her? nope. and i have had a strange enough relationship - i am not interested in carrying on one tht is knowingly false.

he told me he didnt love me a few weeks ago. before that in another major blow up he mentioned how that particular fight woul lead to a “scar” that woul sit on the relationship. not that it woud be brought up again but acknowledging that he was and is creating real scars emotionally and mentally. it’s not manipulative - i’m here of my own freewill, i deal of my own free will. and this happens not often enough to be a malicious attempt at control. and we dont talk about things. ever. an entire year where we have never spoken about the details of these things we both COMPLEteLY KNOW ABOUT. like we both know he kind of sexually assaulted me for real. and isay for real because of the nature of our relationship but we both strayed from the necessary things for such a relationship that wouldve led to this not even happening and i dont “blame” myself. i absolutely did not want to have sex with him. absolutely did not. i said i did not want to have sex with him. i said no. i did not physically stop him in any way because of the nature of our relationship and the disrespect of my own body as well as maybe a need for approval from him because i associate sex in an intimate romantic relationship as an expression of love from a sexual person. and its hard because i do legitimately feel asexual; i have no interest. i have actual no interest and i feign interest or find ways to be interested to a degree but i dont care. so i am in a position where i am frequently disconnectin from the physical act happening to my body because i may not even be necessarily enjoying it on that sexual level. to me its an appendage inserted in a hole and it’s kind of invasive and a really od experience with someone. like its just odd to do that with a person and share eachother like that - TO ME. but this is like fighting homosexuality. i cant argue a sexual persons desires.

so i enter a relationship already essentially to a technical definition being assaulted. im never truly having consensual sex because i have no desire but i guess i do consent to the invasion of my body. i dont disagree with it happening because if i love you i dont really care if thats your thing. its not that big of a deal. brushing your teeth, taking a shower. all just things you do. this is what a majority of eople do.

but we both fucking know. no matter how many times we had sex where it started with a playful no we both know i absolutely did not want this. my body did not even want it and he still kept going and i was not even making noise and he still kept going and the air was not right when it was over because he STILL KEPT GOING. i was not upset. i did not cry. i didnt lament for hours on it. i turned over and went to sleep because he didnt hurt me. he broke my trust. i’m not traumatized by the experience, i wont put him on the “bad boyfriend” list and make him out to be a predator because hes not. i dont know why he did this. maybe he thought it was okay and he convinced himself it was okay when it wasnt.

we didnt talk about this. we didnt mention it at all but when he heard no next time he immediately stopped. when he heard it again, he immediately stopped. and everytime after, his hands immediately dropped from my body. we both know. can he apologize? we both know. i know he knows. there is zero reason for this change in behavior.

the last time i saw him he drove me to his house so i could smoke weed because of period cramps. and then he dropped out. hes too far in the dog house now and hes not even going to try to get out. this is tooooooo far. on top of everything else when im literally doing nothing but existing in my own shit life. i already look at him now and i dont see the same thing and i want to. but i keep asking myself what the fuck is this where are we going. and ive asked it for an entire year. i asked it so much his face changed and im still the same because i have a need to not give up even when its time.

and you know. had he called me and said im tired/got home late/too much traffic /tried & failed on story and made a genuine effort to seem apologetic on a personal level to me id probably be okay. but instead he just said “sorry. not going.” and ignored all further calls and texts. thats disgusting and like im trying and have been trying really hard to mentally be a better person and this was one of those times he had an opportunity to not do this and he did exactly what i would expect him to do following a stupid message like that.

now what? now hes created a thing. now i gotta wait the fucking 2 - 3 days for him to think i forgot about it or am not as angry so we can sit in the same room, not talk about it and carry on as normal.

but you know what? i was pissed. and i ruminated. but i didnt act. i sent a succinct few messages less than 160 characters asking him to call me and asking if there was any way to get a ride and moved on because all i know is that he’s never goingt o be involved in any of my professional shit ever again. hes totally disbarred from this project and even though hes been a big supporter in the past i dont need this emotional drama involved. totally ot worth it an not valuable to anyone so i dont need a long message because im just going to do whatever i want an not involve him. he doesnt need a big dramatic thing about it. and fuck you that i cant even get a ride. why even waste the energy involved in the dramatic message. thats my message this time. my message is the time he absolutely 100% expects me to send the ramatic message.

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